Episode 2 - 5 Signs an Employee Might be Facing Abuse at Home

What if the quiet shift in a teammate’s behavior isn’t burnout, but a safety alarm no one was trained to hear? We dive into five workplace signals that often indicate domestic abuse and show how leaders can respond with compassion and clarity—without forcing disclosure or crossing lines. Drawing on lived experience and the real-world case of Lisa, a receptionist whose “small mistakes” foreshadowed a crisis, we break down what to watch for, why it matters, and how to act before harm escalates.

We unpack the patterns: visible injuries paired with repeating odd explanations, performance dips from hypervigilance and sleep loss, phones that never stop buzzing, anxious withdrawal from coworkers, and attendance disruptions linked to chaos at home. You’ll hear practical guidance for HR and managers on documenting behavior neutrally, separating performance conversations from personal judgment, and building trust through simple, trauma-informed language. We also confront two costly myths—“it’s not our business” and “we’ll wait for disclosure”—and replace them with steps that protect people and productivity.

To make support accessible, we highlight confidential, self-paced resources employees can use privately, including safety planning that doesn’t require HR involvement. We share policy essentials, training tips, and culture cues that turn care into a system rather than a guess. By the end, you’ll be ready to recognize silent alarms, reduce stigma, and make help easy to reach. Subscribe, share with a colleague who leads people, and leave a review telling us what change you’ll make at work this week.

Transcript

Why Workplace Signs Matter

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Episode two five signs an employee might be facing abuse at home. Welcome to the Safe Work Advantage podcast, where we help HR professionals, managers, and business leaders create safer, more supportive workplaces for employees facing domestic violence. I'm April Hardy, survivor, advocate, and founder of In Case I Murdered LLC, and this show is where compassion meets compliance and safety meets strategy. Most victims of domestic violence never disclose their abuse at work, but the signs are often there if we know what to look for. I know these five signs intimately. I display to every one of them at one time or another. I missed work because my son acted up in daycare due to his abuse exposure, and then the daycare would send him home. At the worst of it, it was almost daily, forcing me to either not work, which I couldn't afford, or bring him to work with me, until they eventually kicked my kids out for good. When I was at work, I was distracted, if not by my small child's presence and need for care, than by my phone that was blowing up with threatening messages. My work quality dropped because I wasn't sleeping, and I was spending way more energy surviving than I was on my business. I also worked briefly as a 911 dispatcher, literally helping other people escape danger while I was living in danger myself. I showed up to work in survival mode, hypervigilant and exhausted, taking emergency calls while managing my own emergency at home. When my ex-husband put me through a wall, I was unemployed, so there was no one outside of my home and the police who responded to see my injuries. The victims go to work with physical injuries all of the time. Whether you work for yourself or for someone else, abuse follows you to work. The signs are the same. The impact is the same, and the need for support is the same. The difference is, when you're an employee, your employer has the power to help, if they know what to look for and have resources in place. Imagine your top performing employee has started showing up late. She used to be bubbly in meetings, now she's withdrawn. Maybe she flinches when her phone vibrates, or she's constantly checking it during work. You assume she's just overwhelmed, or maybe dealing with personal stuff. You don't ask. And she doesn't say. Weeks later you find out she was assaulted at home and has been living in fear for months. These are the signs that often go unnoticed, not because they're subtle, but because we're not trained to recognize them in the context of abuse. Let's break down the five signs HR professionals should watch for. Visible injuries or odd explanations. Excuses like I fell down the stairs or I walked into a door should raise red flags if they happen more than once. 3. Sudden drop in performance or focus. A previously reliable employee may become forgetful, distracted, or late on deadlines. 4. Excessive calls or texts from a partner. If an employee is constantly checking their phone, seems stressed about responding quickly, or steps out often, this could signal monitoring or control. 5. Unusual fear, anxiety, or isolation. They may avoid social gatherings, like going out together after work. They may seem overly worried about rules, or isolate themselves from colleagues. Here are a few national statistics that put this in perspective. It's almost everyone. Only 4% of US employers provide training to recognize abuse-related signs. That's crazy. And fewer than 30% of workplaces have a policy that addresses domestic violence. These aren't small gaps, these are big opportunities to make a difference. Let's talk about Lisa. Lisa worked as a receptionist for a healthcare clinic. Over the course of a month, she started making small mistakes. Double booking appointments, forgetting to log messages. Her manager thought she was burnt out. But one day, her ex showed up in the lobby, angry and demanding to speak with her. Only then did anyone realize she had been trying to stay safe while also doing her job. With the right training and policy in place, Lisa could have had support before that crisis hit. What you can do. The goal isn't to confront or diagnose. It's to be a workplace where someone could feel safe and seek help if they wanted to. Here's how. Document behavioral patterns, but do it neutrally. Create a culture of safety and trust. And that means training your managers to respond without judgment. Also provide silent, self-directed resources like Safe Work Advantage. Two common mistakes to avoid. One, assuming that it's none of your business. Domestic violence is a workplace issue when it affects your team's safety, productivity, and well-being. It is not just a home thing or a personal thing. Two, waiting for disclosure. Most victims won't come forward, so resources must be visible, accessible, and stigma-free. But what if I'm wrong, you might be thinking. That's okay. The goal isn't to label someone, it's to create an environment where support is available for anyone who needs it. Silence does not mean safety. With SafeWork Advantage, employees don't need to come forward. They just need access. It's a confidential, self-paced program that empowers them to assess their risk and create a plan without involving HR unless they choose to. No need to guess, cry, or pressure. You just provide the link and let them take it from there. To start training your eye and your workplace to recognize silent cries for help, download the free five signs guide at www.incaseimurdered.com forward slash safe work. Thanks for listening to the Safe Work Advantage podcast. If you found this helpful, be sure to subscribe and share it with someone in your network. For free tools, templates, and workplace resources, visit Incasimurdered.com forward slash safe work. Until next time, please stay safe and help others do the same.