Episode 14- Books and Crook

This episode contains, profanity, sexual content, violence, reference to drug/alcohol use, depictions of panic attacks and mental illness, and depictions of stealing a magic book from a magic library.

The gang goes to the library hoping to answer more of their many questions...

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Caverns and Critters is a podcast about little guys made for big guys as an adult. Content warnings can be found in the episode description.

SPEAKER_07 0:31

Welcome to Caverns and Critters, a Mouse Ritter reelplay podcast that tells the story of a group of recently heartbroken and newly single young adults finding themselves cast into another dimension where they've been turned into little critters. Guys, I have a little of a I got a little bit of a critter report today.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

Critter report.

SPEAKER_07 0:49

My wife and I are moving, maybe. I got to meet one of the puppers that will be living around us. We're kind of like moving to a farm. We're not dying, we're moving to a farm. So it's a it's a golden retriever and German Rish German Rishhepherd. It's a German German Shepherd and a Golden Retriever mix. She is so dumb, but I love her so much. She attacks the shadow of your hand.

SPEAKER_02 1:19

That's my dog for real.

SPEAKER_07 1:20

Like you'll just be walking and your hand, the shadow of your hand is in the on the ground, and she'll like pounce on it and start digging, and then she'll like look for it because it's gone because her paws are over it, and she's like, What the fuck? Where is it? And it's uh it's majorly cute, and that's what I have to say about that. Any other critter reports before we move on?

SPEAKER_02 1:36

Hold on, hold on.

SPEAKER_07 1:37

I've seen an eagle. Hooray.

SPEAKER_02 1:39

My critter report. I saw the cutest dog on campus the other day. Hooray! It was adorable. It was a little fluffy dog. A little fluffy dog. It barked at me.

SPEAKER_07 1:49

So you killed it. Why did you kill it?

SPEAKER_02 1:53

Because I can drunk.

SPEAKER_07 1:55

Oh my god. Psychopath. Isaiah, your hand was up.

SPEAKER_04 2:01

The hand picking my critter report is my great Dane Violet is a silly goose. I threw a blanket on her today and it was very amazing.

SPEAKER_07 2:10

Brilliant.

SPEAKER_02 2:11

We could have talked about our own animals. Come on, man.

SPEAKER_07 2:14

Oh shit. Maybe I don't know if we have time, but I want to tell this story. Okay, because I mean it made me think of my own critters when you talked about your own critters.

SPEAKER_04 2:21

I wondered if you were gonna share that one.

SPEAKER_07 2:23

Yeah, I feel like it's worth sharing. Um, I have two dogs, I have Toby and Cal. They're brothers at heart, and for whatever reason, this past week, they've been just locked the fuck in. Like they have been sharing a bed on purpose. Literally, they were both in their own beds, and then one dog got up and got into the other bed with the other dog. They're standing next to each other like all the time. It's so cute. But the other day I was outside, we have like a big field by our house, quite a ways down the way, it's like a block away at least. There's another house over across the fields. I throw the ball for my dog Toby out into this field and he chases it and he brings it back. But sometimes he stops and sniffs out there, and he did. He stopped and sniffed. And then the the neighbor's dog, which is like a Saint Bernard, is enormous, came sprinting out across the street, freaking ambushed Toby, was like nipping at his butt, was pushing him around and stuff, like twice the size of my dog. And I was like, Oh shit. So I'm trying to like head over there. But like literally, as soon as my dog Cal saw this fucking Saint Bernard cross the road, he was sprinting full speed. He hit this other dog going like Mach 5, dude. Absolutely smoked him full speed. And then both my dogs chased this dog to the property line and then recalled like certified good boys. Hell yeah. Um, so that's my that's my story. A story of brotherhood, a story of of victory of two Davids v1 Goliath, and that's the that's the end of that story. And now I'm gonna end critter reports. No more critter reports.

SPEAKER_02 3:48

Is Catherine knitting right now?

SPEAKER_01 3:51

I'm crocheting, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 3:52

She's granny maxing, dude. Granny maxing.

SPEAKER_02 3:56

Why are you why are you granny maxing right now, bro?

SPEAKER_01 3:59

Because I only had a little bit left. Like, this is I'm sorry. I'm not trying to waste anyone's time. This is the last of my my yarn that I have right now, so I was just like, let me finish this.

SPEAKER_02 4:08

Are you making a blanket?

SPEAKER_01 4:10

All I have to say is holy shit, that's huge. No, not this one. I've got like two more, at least three more things of yarn to do for this. Anyway.

SPEAKER_07 4:20

Damn, that's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 4:21

Also, Jacob. Jakob is holding his hand up. Okay. Jacob.

SPEAKER_05 4:25

I don't got nothing. I just everybody got a critter report. I didn't. We closed it before we even got to give me a chance.

SPEAKER_07 4:31

Go ahead. That's a listen, you snoozy lose on the critter report, man. I don't know. Do it, Jacob. I vote that we get it.

SPEAKER_02 4:36

Give him a critter report. A veto, a veto, John. A veto.

SPEAKER_05 4:40

I want a fair trial, damn it.

SPEAKER_07 4:42

Is this the is this a unanimous report? I've not heard it from D. D said he saw an eagle. You weren't listening. Yeah. I heard D say I I did not hear D vote if Jacob could have a critter report. What say you, J D? Jacob can have his critter report. Holy shit.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

D, that was nice.

SPEAKER_07 4:58

Ladies and gentlemen, this has never happened in the history of Caverns and Critters. We have voted past the mandatory finishing time of Critter Report to come back for another critter report at the end. It's gonna be exceptional, I'm sure. Let me hear it, Jacob.

SPEAKER_05 5:16

Anyways, back to you, John.

SPEAKER_07 5:18

Alright, great. I loved it.

SPEAKER_05 5:20

And that was John's sighting insight.

SPEAKER_07 5:22

Actually, like, did you not have a critter report, Jacob?

SPEAKER_05 5:25

No, I mean, the only peak I got right now is uh I got a Kit Kat and a Cutwater.

SPEAKER_07 5:29

Okay, so the only critter, the only critter in the room is is the dog in you. For real. Because you got that that dog. It has to be oh, the critter report is actually for critters. That's what the critter report is, normally. I didn't know. That's okay. That's alright. Uh I'll send you an email about the resignation I expect you to make by next episode.

SPEAKER_06 5:53

If you watch High Walk, we all walk each other. It's all fake news.

SPEAKER_07 5:56

You guys were slumming down the casts. The long list of people asking to be a member just opened up. We'll see what happens.

SPEAKER_01 6:03

He's just gonna replace everyone. He's gonna do that.

SPEAKER_07 6:05

And I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna call them by Isaiah and Jacob's name too. Anyways, okay. Guys, we have a Patreon. And on that Patreon, there's a pin post where people can submit a first date question. And this is the last one that I could find on there, which means we're almost out of first date questions from the Patreon, and that means I'm gonna start doing it. And I'm gonna start asking stupid questions on purpose. I wish you would. Or something. No, that's not true. But, anyways, this question for today Does your character have a silly fear? And if so, what is it? Women. Uh so up first we're gonna go with Catherine.

SPEAKER_01 6:39

Okay, uh, I'm Catherine. I play uneasy, chatty negotiator, Roz Schumann. Whoa. Yeah, bet you weren't expecting that. Type fear. And Roz's s silly little fear would be you guys ever get a paper cut, like on your hand or you on your fingers, and then you're like washing your hair later, and then like one of the hairs gets stuck under the in the cut, like under the flap of the skin, and then you like floss the cut essentially. How did you say that? It's horrible. And Roz Roz hates that. That's like a silly little fear Roz has.

SPEAKER_02 7:13

Everybody hates that, Catherine.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

Well, I mean, exclusively like a serious fear to me, but yeah, you know, but I wasn't thinking that Jack, Dan, or Gail was gonna say that, so hey, you got him on that.

SPEAKER_07 7:25

For sure. Or Sammy. Speaking of Gail, Isaiah, would you like to go first? I would like to go second. I mean second.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

I mean next. I was first. I was here first.

SPEAKER_04 7:36

What's up, Gang? It's your bad bitch. Gail. Last name a secret. Um I would say that Gail's silly beer is silly for a very specific reason. She's not afraid of snakes. She's not afraid of spiders. But for those of you who are as aficionados, you guys know that one snake that's got like a spider on the tip of its tail. I'm serious. Look this up if you don't know what I'm talking about. It's got like a fake spider on the tip of its tail.

SPEAKER_03 8:01

I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, he knows what's going on. I fucking hate those two. Me and Gail locked in right there.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

It's fucked up.

SPEAKER_04 8:07

They hide and they like they camouflage and they waggle it like it's a real spider. And then when birds come down, they just they get them. Nice. Just irrational afraid of that. Doesn't care, she doesn't care about any other kind of snake. Any kind of spider. But something about that.

SPEAKER_01 8:21

That's evolution, baby. That's evolution, baby. That's natural selection, baby. That's God's favorite right there. You got a you got a little fake spider.

SPEAKER_05 8:32

God's drunk knight right there.

SPEAKER_01 8:33

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_05 8:34

Wait, wait, wait, wait. You're saying that's got we got fingers and they got a fake spider, and you're saying they're the favorite? I got two legs. You're funny Jacob.

SPEAKER_07 8:44

I ain't never seen no viper drink a cut water, okay? I don't think they're God's favorite.

SPEAKER_01 8:50

All I'm saying is I don't think Jacob's ever killed a bird before.

SPEAKER_05 8:53

Oh, honey. I've got a traumatic story for you.

SPEAKER_01 8:58

No, don't tell me.

SPEAKER_05 8:58

No, no. Alright, I got my critter report.

SPEAKER_01 9:01

Don't beat the absolutely.

SPEAKER_07 9:03

Save it for the end of the episode.

SPEAKER_02 9:05

Save it for never, Jacob.

SPEAKER_07 9:07

Save it for next episode.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

This is very interesting. I'm looking at pics of this guy.

SPEAKER_07 9:11

Uh, it says that this snake is actually extremely dangerous, venom-wise, as well.

SPEAKER_01 9:16

Gail, I'm gonna call you on that. That's not a silly fear. That seems like a really founded fear. A real fear.

unknown 9:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:22

Now, see, I knew you'd say that, but it's just the fact that she's not afraid of any form of snakes. She's comfortable around them, in fact. And is the same with spiders. She even has a terrarium of spiders for an extra tidbit for you guys.

SPEAKER_07 9:34

But that combination of the case. Question Who's taking care of your spiders while you're gone? Uh they take care of themselves. They don't really need to hide for a long time.

SPEAKER_01 9:41

That's a self-regulation animal.

SPEAKER_04 9:43

It's a self-regulation animal. She didn't expect to be gone for how long she's been gone. You know? So they're dead, basically.

SPEAKER_03 9:51

Up next, D. Um D, I played Dan. I don't have anything witty or catchy to say. Nice. Uh Dan is scared of those, like, they're the hand dryers. Hand drivers, but it's the ones we have to like stick them down in instead of like underneath.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 10:07

And he's scared like one of these days, one of these fucking hand dryers is just gonna snap his wrist clothes and drag him off to wherever.

SPEAKER_07 10:14

Those are actually uh as someone who is slowly becoming a germophobe, um those things are actually terrifying, dude. If you watch the videos of like the samples they collect from those and then see what kind of like fucking bacteria and germs they get off of that thing, disgusting. Disgusting.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

Yeah, but like you ever put your phone bacteria on an auger plate? That is disgusting.

SPEAKER_07 10:37

I don't want to think about that. I can't change that.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

My bad.

SPEAKER_02 10:39

I thought I had E. coli after doing a biology experiment.

SPEAKER_07 10:43

I think you would know. You do have E. coli.

SPEAKER_02 10:46

No, but they made they made us test with E. coli.

SPEAKER_01 10:49

But I I think you would know if you had it, certainly.

SPEAKER_02 10:51

I they were like, make sure to wash your hands and make sure you have three layers of gloves. I only had two. Oh god. And I was like, I touched my face.

SPEAKER_05 11:00

You were like chewing your nails afterwards? Roth.

SPEAKER_07 11:03

The E. coli when they only have two pairs of gloves on.

unknown 11:07

No.

SPEAKER_07 11:07

Buffoon. Domain expansion, E. coli. Speaking of you, Candon, what is Jack's silly little fear?

SPEAKER_02 11:16

His slutty little silly little fear. What? What? What? His little fear is um, I think leopards.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

Again, not a silly fear.

SPEAKER_02 11:28

Not a silly fear.

SPEAKER_07 11:28

I feel like that's perfectly well-founded. Hold on. Let's see what he's doing.

SPEAKER_02 11:32

I have to dig deep into his brain. Hold on a moment.

SPEAKER_01 11:35

He's connecting with Jack Ranger.

SPEAKER_02 11:37

I'm adding sound effects for the later edit. Okay. Found it. His silly little fear is the the little like you know how he's afraid of that, like, forest that has all the dolls hanging from the trees.

SPEAKER_03 11:58

Oh, I know what you're talking about, Cannon. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 12:00

Yeah, that sounds horrible, but that I can see I can like I can see how that uh that would be terrifying.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

Well, because we will never go there. So him being afraid of it is he's only afraid of pictures. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 12:16

So it's like he's like laying away at night and being like, fuck, I hope I don't end up on that forest by accident. Yeah, he's just like he's shivering at night because it's thought of it. I love that. Uh Jacob.

SPEAKER_05 12:31

I'm Jacob. I play Samuel. His silly little fear would be like gum under tables or desks, you know? Like you put your hands in there, you're like, Oh my god. You instantly touch it. You're like, ah, son of a bitch, they got me.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

So good. That's a good one.

SPEAKER_05 12:44

Yeah. That is.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

Because that happens to me more than I care to advance.

SPEAKER_05 12:47

It's not something you can prep for them.

SPEAKER_01 12:48

An elevator at my job that like has gum on one of the railings inside the elevator, and you forget every time, and you put your hand on the railing, and it's like, ah, god damn it, they got me again. Every time. Not me. And I and I won't do it.

SPEAKER_07 13:07

Just kidding. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 13:09

Gotcha, bitch.

SPEAKER_07 13:12

Sorry, Catherine.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_07 13:14

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 13:15

This is the first day I'm finding out that Catherine is a janitor.

SPEAKER_01 13:19

Is it your first day finding that out?

SPEAKER_02 13:20

Yes. It is my first day finding this out.

SPEAKER_01 13:23

Yeah, I work full-time as a custodian.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

A custodian.

SPEAKER_01 13:26

My my technical role is building services technician because I do setups and I do aviates.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

Ooh, a big fancy janitor. Very good. Yeah. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

No big deal. I've cleaned up shit off the floor a time or two.

SPEAKER_07 13:40

Anyway, everyone, silence, everyone. Silence. It's my turn to talk about me and my silly little fear. We don't care. IRL John Ransom, the DM, has a silly little fear of every time I watch scary movies, I still feel a little bit like there might be a demon attached to the movie and he might consume my home. Like not a silly fear. That's me. That's me every time. Yeah, I have to be like, okay, there's not a demon, John. Just some people came up with this. But like I grew up where it was like, if you watch a scary movie in your house, then Satan basically lives there now. So like so like every time, every even like when a scary movie trailer is playing in the movie theater, I'm kind of like, oh fuck.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

There's demons in here.

SPEAKER_07 14:24

It's okay. It's safe here.

SPEAKER_01 14:25

I was also taught that in church.

SPEAKER_05 14:27

Did he cut out for anybody else when he said that?

SPEAKER_01 14:29

It did cut out for hardcore. I don't know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 14:32

Y'all fucking with me? I swear to god, y'all fucking with me?

SPEAKER_05 14:34

No, because Isaiah's head moved when you were talking. That's true.

SPEAKER_02 14:37

I wasn't gonna say anything.

SPEAKER_05 14:38

You're bad juju, John.

SPEAKER_07 14:39

Holy fucking shit. Not a fucking silly fear anymore. That's fucking real. Okay. It's uh it's recap time. Recap time. Last episode, Jack, Gail, and Jeremy touched Roz while she was in a seizure-like state.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

They did what?

SPEAKER_07 14:57

In an attempt to help you. I realized how that sounds kind of crazy. I'm serious. Take that back. Say that again.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

They did what to Roz.

SPEAKER_07 15:04

Last episode, Jack, Gail, and Jeremy uh touched Roz without her knowing about it while she was having seizure.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

No, it was worse the second time.

SPEAKER_07 15:14

Oh shit, oh fuck. Uh and we're immediately frozen and unconscious with her. They all witnessed the story of Roz's heartbreak alongside her. Oh god. Uh Samuel, seeing the scene, muttered something about someone named Killian. Ooh. Very mysterious. Uh afterwards, the captain of the guard walked in to meet you guys, boasting of his ability to see through disguises. Uh, you decided to spend the night at Diamond Crystal's enormous penthouse. Uh, and through whoring Jack to her, you guys uh made a tremendous amount of money. Money you used to shop for the rest of the episode. Uh after a quick breakfast, you guys went out to go shopping. And you ran into Winston while shopping. Woo-woo, Winston, the little speedy mouse with the sword, who was headed to the library to do research on a mission he was working on. Uh he's hunting a creature that was eating critters in the north. He also told of witches the witches that had captured Steca that he had gone to confront them, but they had already abandoned their lair. You also ran into a mouse gentleman preaching from atop a box about the Church of Marcos and how if you don't turn to him, you know, you're gonna you're gonna be damned forever. You know, pretty pretty serious. He told you guys where the church of Marcos is located at, so you have that information now. Um, and then after I gave that guy a pip. You did, you gave him money.

SPEAKER_01 16:33

Terrible.

SPEAKER_07 16:34

And then immediately after he went on to say death to all the sinners.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

Giving it to the church.

SPEAKER_07 16:42

He didn't say that. After being finished with the shopping experience, you guys realized that all the shops that you had been in had disappeared, leaving only warehouses in their place. Seemingly they were some kind of illusion, and you don't really know what happened or if any of the people you talked to were even real.

SPEAKER_01 16:57

I'll never forget Bug.

SPEAKER_07 16:58

Yeah, he'll never forget you, maybe. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

And no one's gonna believe me, and that's the problem.

SPEAKER_07 17:03

Nobody. Confused, you guys headed towards the library to check it out, and Dan felt a weird little feeling rising in his chest before it went away. Now, I will also remind you guys you have four days until the ball held in your honor at the King's Palace. Oh god, it's coming up.

SPEAKER_01 17:19

We need clothes, guys. We need clothes. I can't go to the ball in my freaking sweatpants, okay?

SPEAKER_07 17:25

Good point. You guys were last walking towards the library looking to catch up with Winston, and that is what happened at the end of last episode. So go ahead and take it from here.

SPEAKER_02 17:36

So gang. So the library. Let's go to the library. I'm ready to read the books.

SPEAKER_04 17:43

I have to go to the library for like super important reasons.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

I think Roz is gonna be talking to Skimmer. Just like side conversation. Getting to know.

SPEAKER_06 17:51

Who are you talking to?

SPEAKER_01 17:52

Getting to know Skimmer.

SPEAKER_07 17:55

Okay. Alright. You guys are walking towards the library, busy streets. You kind of exit the warehouse district, and after about like two minutes of walking, you hear He's back. Nearly plowing you guys over this time, Winston once again crashes into you all. Oh, ho! Ho! Oh, okay, good. You guys are okay. I totally realized after I ran away last time that that is not where the shopping district is, but I was in too much of a hurry to realize, and then as soon as I got all the way to the library, I was like, oh shoot. I just let them there with an appear with the appearance of some kind of a of a shopping district. Are you well? What happened?

SPEAKER_03 18:29

Uh we got what we needed.

SPEAKER_07 18:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

Yeah, we went shopping. Seemed like a shopping district to me.

SPEAKER_07 18:34

Did they add the shopping district?

SPEAKER_01 18:36

Is it was it a shopping district? Winston, I gotta ask you a question. Yeah? You don't know anything about a guy named Bug, do you? Kind of a weird fellow. Looks like a circle with like critter parts, critter hardware.

SPEAKER_07 18:48

Bug, you say.

SPEAKER_01 18:49

Love him. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 18:51

It's not ringing a bell off the top of my head, but I could you could look into it maybe at the library, I guess. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 18:56

Yeah, he literally just said bug in different ways to me, and that's how I got skimmer over here, but uh, you know, great guy, really. But I just wondered if you knew anything about him or if there was, you know, like a I don't know, if you found a book or something. Happened to happen upon it at the library.

SPEAKER_07 19:13

Well, I didn't quite make it to the library yet, but uh let me just take uh and then he goes. He shoots from each one of you to observe your items and your critters, and he's just like, they all seem plenty normal. I strange. Hang on one second. He runs off towards the the shopping district you guys are coming from. He runs back. Uh yeah, there's no shopping district there anymore. That's so weird.

SPEAKER_01 19:38

We saw that. I mean I was I'm as confused as you are, Winston. I was hoping you'd have answers for us. Hmm. Well, peculiar.

SPEAKER_07 19:45

Well, perhaps I will accompany you to the library and then uh just to make sure everything's good and dandy, and then we'll go our separate ways.

SPEAKER_01 19:52

Awesome.

SPEAKER_07 19:53

Come. He keeps stepping like quite a bit further than you guys, then realizing that he's way ahead and then stopping for you guys to catch up, and that's what he kind of does, like a dog during a walk, like just like fuck, they're not here yet. Okay, wait, wait. Oh, okay, they're here. Woo! Then gets ahead again.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

Hey Winston, do you know of any any places we can get some like clothes for the ball if we're gonna go? Yeah, totally.

SPEAKER_07 20:13

The normal shopping district would absolutely have that.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

Yeah, you gotta can you point us in the right direction? I mean, after the library.

SPEAKER_07 20:20

Yeah, absolutely. 100%. I can 100% do that for you.

SPEAKER_01 20:23

Thank you. I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_02 20:24

Yeah, no problem. So guys, when we get when we get out of here, do you think scrutiny six will be any good? What is a scary movie? It's uh it's it's too much to explain, buddy.

SPEAKER_07 20:36

I understand. Terran concepts are hard on the mind.

SPEAKER_02 20:39

I think it'll be good. It's got the Wayans Brothers again, so you know.

SPEAKER_01 20:43

Yeah, you know, I feel like if if Scream 7 or whatever had Matthew Willard in it, then all was right in the dupe shit.

SPEAKER_03 20:49

I heard Scary Movie 7 sucks. Scream 7. Scream 7, sorry. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:54

Uh I thought it was getting good reviews.

SPEAKER_02 20:56

It it's not. Did you hear that from a pigeon? I did. Or a bird that passed by.

SPEAKER_01 21:02

Maybe. Don't ask me where I'm getting my re my.

SPEAKER_03 21:07

Yeah, while you guys were in the store, I uh and I was hanging out outside. One of the pigeons was flying over. Scream seven sucked, and I was like, well, well, that's kind of weird, but I mean, y'all got it, I guess. That's that's all.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

Damn, I was getting extra info.

SPEAKER_07 21:18

Can I yeah? Oh, he must no, he's talking about the scream man. The scream man. Not not a movie from your dimension, whatever a movie is. Who's the screen man?

SPEAKER_01 21:28

Who Winston, who's the screen man? It's the scream man.

SPEAKER_07 21:32

There's a man who uh was uh so basically okay, this is so much to explain. There's like a time thing at one of the the lumber yards, and we there was a a bit of an issue with it, and it made him slow down in time. So every couple years he screams, and everybody kinda waits for it and is just kind of sitting there waiting for it, and then like describing the seventh one just happened, and I the pigeons are not a fan. I thought it was alright. I I You know, I was there. Uh it it was a little pitchy for sure, but you know, it was it was alright.

SPEAKER_06 22:06

Oh my god. I've got goosebumps.

SPEAKER_04 22:09

Can I ask you, did you just come up with that? Like, is that just off the cuffs?

SPEAKER_07 22:14

Yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_04 22:14

That was all improv, bro. I do wonder what's wrong with you sometimes, but whatever it is I am.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

I do too. John is John is improv king.

SPEAKER_07 22:23

I don't know if that's what I would say. But thank you.

SPEAKER_01 22:26

The screen man's gonna show up in my dream, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_04 22:29

So this library, is this the kind of place where you can go to study spells or something? Because I don't know what went wrong during my last spell training session. Okay, but I ended up with a spell that I really, really don't like, and I really want to get rid of it, and I really want to find something else. I just don't like it. Is this something that you guys can help me with at the library or okay?

SPEAKER_07 22:50

So when you ask that, Winston stops, and you can tell he's thinking really hard, and he's like, um there's technically two libraries, and you shouldn't go to one, and that would probably be the one that would have a lot of really good information and so much knowledge and really useful, but you shouldn't go to that.

SPEAKER_04 23:11

Why?

SPEAKER_07 23:11

Yeah, why is why you should go to the king's library, and he's like really like opening his eyes and being like blinking at you guys like you should totally go to the king approved library, not the other one. And he's like saying it loud as to like like a group of guards like passes by and he's saying it loud, like, don't go to the other library that's not king approved. Don't do that. Winston, where's the other one?

SPEAKER_04 23:36

Okay, where would that where would that library be so that we can avoid going there? Because we don't want to confuse it for the other library.

SPEAKER_07 23:43

Yes, of course. It's right across the street from the one that I'm guiding you guys towards.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

Oh. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 23:48

So you know to avoid it. You know to avoid it. Yeah, yeah. Because you heard from me.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

They're on the same block. What is a competing library?

SPEAKER_07 23:55

Exactly. Yes, it's exactly that. 100%. And one is way better than the others. Anyways, I cannot wait. Come, let's go. Sorry. I'll walk slow.

unknown 24:07

Okay. Thank you.

SPEAKER_07 24:08

As you guys uh start getting closer to the libraries, you can definitely see one pretty immediately because it is enormous. It's really efficient and simple design. It's not really inspired by any means. It's literally it looks like it was put up in a couple weeks. It doesn't look inspired by any means. There's a massive sign above it saying that this is the king's library. And as you get closer, you can look across the street and you see a courtyard. No bigger than the common yard you would find in a suburb. It's a courtyard surrounded by a tall, about 10-inch tall metal fence. Outside of it is a little, um, little, it looks almost like when you approach the gates of an apartment building. There's like that little beam sticking out that you get like tickets out of. It looks kind of like that almost, but like stone and it's carved intricately with beautiful patterns. Outside of the garden fence to this library, there are protesters standing outside and they are yelling things like, Stop the heresy, stop the misinformation, hail to the king, hail to the king, and they are facing the garden and yelling in at the garden. Winston's like, now, as a state official of the kingdom of Appledale and Pine Hill, I must strongly urge you not to go in there, but are you guys gonna go? Are you guys gonna go in that one?

SPEAKER_03 25:24

Probably. I think we should go into the forbidden library. I mean, we obviously have to know what we're avoiding, so we would rather go in there so we know what we're not supposed to be getting into.

SPEAKER_07 25:35

Okay, okay, okay, cool, cool, cool, cool. And he kind of like turns away from you guys and then like side shuffles up to Roz, flips down, flicks down this note inside from his shirt sleeve, and kind of like waves it at you. Oh.

SPEAKER_01 25:48

Okay. Do I take it?

SPEAKER_07 25:49

That would be smart. Is this something detachable or he's it's like a note he's holding in his hand.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

Okay, then yeah, I certainly take it, but like secretively.

SPEAKER_07 25:57

Okay, you take it, and then he's like, oh anyways, into the state library. I go. Now I hope you guys don't uh go don't go in that one. Anyways, bye. I'm going and he runs into the state library.

SPEAKER_02 26:06

I'm going to the other one.

SPEAKER_07 26:08

Me too.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

Can I read the note?

SPEAKER_07 26:09

Uh yeah, absolutely. You open the note, and what it says is please grab me a book on wear dragons, if you could, smiley face. And then it says, but shh.

SPEAKER_01 26:22

Okay. Ross nods and tucks a note into her pocket.

SPEAKER_07 26:25

So uh you guys walk up to the gate of this this garden, and like I said, it's pretty dang small. There's not a lot of room for something like a library, you wouldn't think. But if you peer through the the gates, what you would see is a stone doorway with no building behind it. It's only surrounded by trees and bushes and uh beautiful plants and flowers of all kinds. And as you guys approach the fence, uh like a two little fairies shoot out of that little ticket machine. They fly in circles around you and then fly back into that little post. So whoever who was closest? Dan was leading the charge, right? So Dan would be at the front.

SPEAKER_01 27:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 27:03

So Dan, these little fairies shoot out and they look like the Legend of Zelda fairies. Oh yeah. Just the little ball of light with wings. That's what they look like. And they go and they scan you, and then they go back into the to the box, and then a little token slides out.

SPEAKER_03 27:17

Uh Dan would grab the token, look at it confused, and look at everybody else, like, let's go, I think. Or look back- No, he looked back at the fairies confused, like w waiting for them to make some kind of They are back inside the stone.

SPEAKER_07 27:32

They you cannot see them.

SPEAKER_03 27:33

Oh, okay. I I guess you just walk back in, or walk in, or just walk to wherever is open.

SPEAKER_07 27:38

Okay, so you start walking towards the gate and it opens for you, but as soon as you step through it closes, and then it scans the next person behind you. Uh, and it does this for each and every single one of you. Oh. And if you guys were to observe the token, it is an intricate piece of metal, glass on the outer edge, and you can see through to all these intricate designs within. Um, and you see that uh there are 12 little circles on it, and there is one slot that is lit up. That is what you see, and each of you pass through into the garden. As you guys walk through this garden, you make it up to the stone door, and on the door it says, in quotations, speak to enter. And it says, I swear to leave my wars and my violence here at the gate. Come to learn and to share, not to destroy. So demands the librarian. Tight is agreed. You guys can just say that you repeat that if that's what you would like to do. I would repeat that.

SPEAKER_01 28:36

Uh repeat. I was gonna say, can you repeat that?

SPEAKER_07 28:38

Okay. So you guys read it together, and then the door opens for you. Would you guys like to go in? Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 28:45

Yes, certainly.

SPEAKER_07 28:47

Okay, so you guys enter into this library, and it is magnificent. What you first see is a big circular room. There are critters and creatures of all kinds walking around, little tiny penguins, you see little tiny monkeys, you see guinea pigs and hamsters and birds of all kinds in this in this circle area. Just intricate, lightly colored wood just lines the entire inside of this thing. There are 12 doors total lining the outside of this big circular area you've just walked into. And there's stairways heading up in between each door. And immediately, even upon walking in, you can see there are just shelves and shelves of books and just random little shelves stuck into little walls. Anywhere you can find room to put a book, there's a book. Through these little 12 doors, you can see uh doors opening to seemingly an Arctic environment, seemingly a jungle, seemingly uh a land made of cloud. You guys walk up the stairs and you see just the biggest library you can imagine. It's 10 stories high. There are shelves of books headed from floor to ceiling, there are intricate stairways twisting and turning in all kinds of directions that defy gravity, and you can see creatures standing on the bottom of walkways, and that is what you guys see. So, what would you like to do?

SPEAKER_01 30:07

Yeah, Raz would like to locate the librarian, I think.

SPEAKER_07 30:10

You look about and you see a desk, but um nobody is there. But like it's kind of like a central desk. It looks like where a librarian would be. Like the little the little Barnes and Noble help desk is what it looks like.

SPEAKER_01 30:24

Yeah, Raz is gonna Raz is gonna go up and look for a bell or something.

SPEAKER_07 30:28

Okay, yeah, uh, there's a uh a little uh bell sitting there alongside it is a little wooden stick. And Gail is following closely behind. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 30:36

Raz is gonna ring the bell but also pick up the stick.

SPEAKER_07 30:40

Okay. So the thing is like the the sti you the the bell is not hanging from anything, it's just sitting on the desk. Yeah. And then the stick is right next to the bell.

SPEAKER_01 30:49

So you can't really ring it unless you're gonna So so can I tap it?

SPEAKER_07 30:53

Yeah, you can hit it with your stick.

SPEAKER_06 30:55

Just fucking hit it.

SPEAKER_01 30:59

Alright, goddamn, Samuel. Yeah, Raz is gonna take the stick and hit the bell.

SPEAKER_07 31:04

You hit the uh the bell and instantly it lights up with runes, and you see a octopus fall in front of you behind the desk, teleported in. And he's like, blop. Hello.

SPEAKER_01 31:19

Hello.

SPEAKER_06 31:20

What hello? I think Raz better handle this one.

SPEAKER_01 31:23

Are you who I talk to about finding a book?

SPEAKER_07 31:26

He's holding like a book up in midair as if he was about to put it on a shelf and suddenly he appeared here. And he's like, um, yes, I'm the one to pack or what can I do for you?

SPEAKER_01 31:36

Can I can I trouble you with a request at the moment? Go to Google course. No trouble at all. Sure. Uh I mean the first thing I'm looking for right now is a book on were dragons, if you have it. Or any all of your books on were dragons, I guess.

SPEAKER_07 31:55

And then he uh walks over to you and he like holds out one of his tentacles and he's like bl hand, please.

SPEAKER_01 32:01

Oh, okay. Ross puts out her hand.

SPEAKER_07 32:04

He takes uh the stick from your hands and holds your other hand and then hits the bell and you disappear. Whoa, shit. Can I help uh any of your view guys without anything else?

SPEAKER_03 32:17

Um uh yeah, actually. Uh I would like a book on anything about goddesses in the area if you have 'em.

unknown 32:25

Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_03 32:26

Um he holds out his tentacle.

SPEAKER_07 32:30

I would give him my hand. You disappear. What? Anybody else? Ah, yeah, you he points to Jack.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

I would like a book on fancy transportation in this area.

SPEAKER_07 32:43

Bluh. Fancy in what area? In the library?

SPEAKER_02 32:46

No, in in just the world, man.

SPEAKER_07 32:49

Whoa! You might be referring to the the world gates downstairs.

SPEAKER_02 32:54

For real. See me.

SPEAKER_07 32:56

Okay. Um, well, what I can tell you about the world gates is you can only use the library for uh world transportation.

SPEAKER_02 33:04

No, I mean like if you Sorry, little man, but I mean like more I mean more books about the world like more books about like the era of transportation in this dimension.

SPEAKER_07 33:17

Hmm. All things transportation sounds like you're looking for. Let me let me see your pu- Actually, actually mean.

SPEAKER_02 33:24

Can we can we do this first? Hold on, hold on. Okay. Can I teach you a dab up? Can I teach you a dab up real quick?

SPEAKER_07 33:32

The dab up. I've learned several books about dabing up. I've read all about it. I know all of it. Let's go ahead and give it a shot, brother. He does the the dab. Yeah, it's crisp. And then you kind of stick to him for a second, and then he holds on to you, he's like, Okay, are you ready?

SPEAKER_02 33:50

Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_07 33:51

Okay. You disappear. I had one. Oh yes, of course. Let me what uh what can I do?

SPEAKER_04 33:59

Uh I don't really know how to ask this, but I have access to a spell that I no longer want anything to do with. Okay. And I want a new spell. I don't know if there's like a general life like department for that or what you could do. I don't know. I know it's kinda odd.

SPEAKER_07 34:16

He grabs you, like picks you up, and like rotates you around and he's observing you closely, and he sets you down. He goes, You are the Terrans, I see. Hmm. Very good. Very good. Um, so you must have had a uh spell written on your soul, yes?

SPEAKER_04 34:35

Uh yeah, I guess. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 34:37

Oh, okay. So what you need is the book. Spell exchange of the Terran Soul. Yes, yes, yes, that will do. And he walks up to you, wraps you up, and he's like, hang on, boom, pff, you vanish. Alright, anybody else?

SPEAKER_06 34:53

Um, I would like a book.

SPEAKER_07 34:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 34:56

I would uh I would like to know if there's a book on whittling.

SPEAKER_07 35:00

Whittle?

SPEAKER_06 35:00

Yes. Maybe some sort of woodwork whittling, I don't care.

SPEAKER_07 35:06

That's a gorgeous. Let me show you a hand.

SPEAKER_06 35:08

It's a little forward, but here.

SPEAKER_07 35:10

You disappear. And then you guys are all gone. So uh I'm gonna go ahead and go in the order by which you guys were teleported around. Okay, let's start with Roz. Roz, you are teleported into an aisle. You can see all kinds of interesting letter symbols and stuff, but you see English, and that's where you kind of head towards. You find a a book on uh on where dragons pretty quickly. He teleported you pretty close. So, and also on the on the end of I'm just gonna tell you guys all of this. Wherever you are, at the end of whatever shelf you're at, you see a teleportation bell with a stick next to it as well. Roz, you find the wear dragon book pretty easily. Are you gonna flip through it or are you just gonna grab it and head back towards the desk or something?

SPEAKER_01 35:53

Yeah, Roz is a little nosy, so yeah, she's definitely gonna flip through it before she rings the bell.

SPEAKER_07 35:59

Okay, cool. Uh, so the first thing you notice when you pick up the book is that there's kind of like little smudges of dirt all about it. Gross. And actually, you look down at the ground and you notice that there's little tracks of dirt as well, kind of headed through uh the library up to this point. So you open this book, it tells about this type of creature called a were dragon. And what you learn about were dragons is that any average critter with the correct components could turn themselves into a dragon-esque form of themselves. So that is what you you find. And on the page with the specific incantations for it, you see quite a bit of dirt. There's little dirt smudges, little finger markings all about it, and that's what you see.

SPEAKER_01 36:43

Okay. Um, the dirt smudges on the ground. Can I do they like lead? Like are they like a trail? Can I follow them?

SPEAKER_07 36:51

They walk to the teleportation bell and then back.

SPEAKER_01 36:55

Um, Roz would like to try and commit as much of what she's reading to memory as possible.

SPEAKER_07 37:02

Okay, sure. Could you give me a each of you getting a library turn is one hour. Okay, guys.

SPEAKER_00 37:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 37:07

So to check out one book is one hour. You roll a will save to retain as much of that information, and then you can make a will save at a later date whenever you need to recall information about a weird dragon, and I will tell you if you pass.

SPEAKER_01 37:20

Oh god, I got an 18.

SPEAKER_07 37:22

Uh, pretty dodgy. You will have to just try to remember what I said right now, and that's what you got. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 37:29

So I could probably remember what you said. Yeah, I guess I don't have anything to write it on, but I am checking it out for Winston, so that's fine. I think Raza's gonna go ring the bell to talk to the octopus again.

SPEAKER_07 37:41

So actually, this time you walk up and you hit the bell to teleport the octopus to you, but you actually teleport back to the front desk.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

Oh, okay. Hello. I um I do have one book that I want, but I was wondering if you could show me to some other books. Okay. That I'm curious about.

SPEAKER_07 38:02

Uh-huh. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 38:03

Uh I wondered if you have any books about crafting. Crafting. General crafting.

SPEAKER_07 38:07

He sends uh he sits a minute and thinks and he goes, You teleport to that, and we'll get to you in a second. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 38:15

Uh, D, you teleport into an aisle, and there are every letter of the alphabet that there is, there's at least one goddess. So it's a pretty big selection, but luckily, Anand is an A. A name. So towards the front is where you'd probably imagine her name would be. And I'm assuming that's what you're looking for, right? Yep. Okay. So you approach and you take a peek about, and sure enough, you you find it. Uh, you find a book about Anand.

SPEAKER_03 38:41

Alright, I uh I crack that bad boy open and see what I can find, if there's anything I can even understand in this book.

SPEAKER_07 38:48

Uh, I will just read you this excerpt that I wrote ahead of time. Little is known about the origins of this mysterious goddess. Any information that has been found about her only goes back five years. She possesses the ability to see through the eyes of any crow in the place between. She can teleport to a location within ten feet of a crow in the place between. She has the ability to expel energy from her body at a dangerous speed, tearing apart any creature it touches. She can grant basic healing magic to any gr crow in the place between, and she can shapeshift. She can manifest and create small to medium structures, items, weapons, and basic illusions. And that is about all that is known about her. So she hasn't been in this uh realm for very long. That's one thing you know for certain. That is the information you kind of gain uh about Anand. There's not much else to know.

SPEAKER_03 39:37

Okay. Uh Dan would simply put the book back and then just glance around his general area looking for it because he knows she's lurking somewhere. Uh go ahead and He's not sure, it's more just that feeling like she's probably hiding around here somewhere, but I I just want to check.

SPEAKER_07 39:53

Okay, go ahead and uh make a will save. Your will is currently eight.

SPEAKER_03 39:57

Add a one on that, that's what I got.

SPEAKER_07 39:59

Okay, you got a nine? Okay, yeah, you don't see that.

SPEAKER_03 40:01

No, I got an 18. No, eighteen.

SPEAKER_07 40:03

Oh that's much worse. You definitely don't see her. Is there anything else you'd like to do?

SPEAKER_03 40:10

Uh head to the end of the aisle and ring the bell to head on back.

SPEAKER_07 40:14

Boom. You appear at the the front desk. Okay. Uh you you see Roz for a split second get teleported away, and he's like, a busy day for me. What can I help you with?

SPEAKER_03 40:24

Uh, do you have any books about potentially getting back any limbs or healing limbs that were lost? Good idea.

SPEAKER_07 40:36

Genius. Oh, I have just a book for you. And he walks up, holds your paw. I mean your wing. Boom, you teleport away. Okay, who went next? Was it was it Jack?

SPEAKER_01 40:48

I think it was Jack.

SPEAKER_07 40:49

I think it was Jack.

SPEAKER_01 40:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 40:51

Okay. Same as the others. You appear in the middle of a big, giant bookshelf. This time you're about three stories up on a little railway system headed through, and you you find your book pretty quickly, but you find one that you pull off the shelf and you take a pier into, and you see that the primary modes of transportation are as following. For most folks, it's pretty expensive to fly, but there are cranes that do offer flights between specific locations, not everywhere, but a couple. Most people just travel by foot because it's the least expensive, but it is dangerous. You also see that the library is a huge method of transportation because the librarian, a very magical octopus creature, uh actually created a world gate, but you have to go to a location and go to a library for you to be able to fast travel to that library. It's a classic fast travel system. Uh so if you guys go out throughout the world and you ever need to come back to Pine Hill, at any point in time, if you find a library, you can enter the library and exit out Pine Hill. And the little dot on your token is a mark showing one of the 12 libraries that are in the place between you have unlocked. So that is kind of the general information that you guys that you figure out from this book.

SPEAKER_04 42:10

Very cool. Was that just Jack like tisming out while everybody was just studying? Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 42:16

He just wanted to know if there were trains here. I was just curious. He was like, This is a library?

SPEAKER_04 42:22

Transportation. Tell me all about them. Trains, planes, and automobiles. Um, that was a good question.

SPEAKER_07 42:27

Um, and also, uh, I'm only gonna let everybody do two books because otherwise this is gonna be the rest of the episode.

SPEAKER_01 42:34

So I had so many ideas.

SPEAKER_07 42:36

Uh, we'll say the library is gonna be closing soon. Okay, Jacob, you appear and you find your book on whittling instantly. Is uh would you make a will save for me?

SPEAKER_05 42:48

18. Wow, that is hilarious, actually.

SPEAKER_07 42:50

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_05 42:52

I was gonna make a joke that like when this this is just a side thing. I thought it'd be funny if it's like when Catherine opens the book and she rolls the 18, she realizes she's like illiterate.

SPEAKER_07 43:03

She's like she realizes she cannot read. Oh my god, I can't read. What I will say is if you want to spend your second hour in the library reading this book some more, you can try another will save. And what reading a book on a specific skill will get you is you will always roll with advantage when using that skill. Okay. For whittling, roll your decks with advantage. But if you want to go back and try to find a different book, then you can.

SPEAKER_05 43:30

Um yeah, I'm gonna stick with I think I can I think I can play with that enough. Yeah. I'll do I'll do the second hour in whittling.

unknown 43:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 43:38

Alright, you spend your second hour and final hour in the library to learn to whittle. Go ahead and roll me another will save.

SPEAKER_05 43:44

Got a 19. Oh my god. Oh, geez.

SPEAKER_07 43:47

You know even less than last time. You're holding the book upside down.

SPEAKER_05 43:52

Um he's like over there. He's like, it doesn't make any fucking sense. Can I do a I don't know if this is allowed. Am I allowed to steal this book with my worm? Oh shit.

SPEAKER_01 44:03

Don't do it.

SPEAKER_07 44:04

I can't even say nobody else is here, Jacob. They can't stop you.

SPEAKER_04 44:09

It's too late. He's already done it.

SPEAKER_07 44:11

I'm gonna go.

SPEAKER_05 44:12

Oh shit, I dropped it. And as I'm like leaning down to pick it up, I'm like shoving it in its mouth.

unknown 44:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 44:23

Uh yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and add the book to uh one of the slots that your little worm has.

SPEAKER_01 44:29

That's fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_07 44:31

You have successfully put it in your worm.

SPEAKER_01 44:33

Oh god.

SPEAKER_07 44:34

So the book what a dance. He's doing a victory dance for everyone at home. He's hitting that shit. Uh okay, cool. So you do that. Um. Alright, who is next? It's back to the top, so we're back to Catherine. It's me. That's not that's not true. Gail, did you not get to go? I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_04 44:53

Oh shit, I'm sorry. I was supposed to go before Jacob, actually, but I figured I would just let it slide. Oh fuck. Oh big deal.

SPEAKER_07 45:02

Gail, go ahead. Uh you appear in the in the aisle, you find your book, and the book you were searching for is the uh spell exchange of the Terran Soul, which he said in full the title, so you find it pretty quick and easy. Uh, and what you find is this it requires three steps to be able to exchange a spell, and they are as following it in this order. Step one, you must cast the spell on yourself at least once. Oh no. Step two, buy the stone tablet of the spell you desire to exchange it with. Step three, you have to have the spell on your person when entering the soul realm to level up. And then if all of those three steps have been completed when you're in there, the shit spell will enter into the spell tablet, and the new spell that you bought the spell on the spell tablet will become the new spell that you have on your soul, and you can exchange it.

SPEAKER_04 45:50

You're telling me I have to cast it on myself?

SPEAKER_07 45:51

Yeah, you have to cast shit yourself. It doesn't say how like soon, it just says you have to do it at least once. Like, uh oh, stinky. Just go to the bathroom shit yourself and exchange it.

SPEAKER_04 46:01

You just included that for me specifically because you knew that I wanted to do this. I'm gonna make it shit myself to uh stinky boy.

SPEAKER_07 46:09

Listen, I added steps to a lot of different things.

SPEAKER_04 46:11

I kind of respect your hustle, to be honest, but I am upset. Thank you, thank you. I am upset.

SPEAKER_07 46:16

Yeah, there's lots you could do with that information.

SPEAKER_04 46:20

So are you saying that this is something that you'd like me to work on later? Off screen or something? Is that what you mean?

SPEAKER_07 46:26

This is something that you will uh you can do on screen. You just have to I actually would prefer for you to do it on screen.

SPEAKER_01 46:34

Shit yourself in front of us.

SPEAKER_07 46:35

I would I want you to do this on screen. You must do everything.

SPEAKER_04 46:40

Yeah, I thought so. I just didn't understand I didn't understand what you're saying. Like, what would you like to do now though? I was like, oh, am I moving on?

SPEAKER_07 46:45

We wanna see it. Literally shit your fucking head.

SPEAKER_04 46:48

You're telling me I can't buy this book and do this later.

SPEAKER_07 46:51

You brought a spare. You don't have to do it now, you can do it whenever. It's just whenever you want to exchange the spell.

SPEAKER_05 46:57

Okay, and check the Patreon for more pictures.

SPEAKER_04 47:00

We're attracting a whole nother crowd of people, bro.

SPEAKER_07 47:02

John's gonna animate it. What? Next one I'm animating is this.

SPEAKER_04 47:11

No, I would say that Gail would look at that and think about the consequences of her accidentally picking a shit spell and just be like, oh my god. She's like, I'm gonna have to worry about this later. But then she's gonna like put the book in her bag to buy it later. But she would like look around her because it's like a it's like a spectral, like cool looking area, right? It's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_07 47:31

You actually, in looking up, realize that you've been upside down for the last little bit. Oh wow. Like, and there's somebody walking on the stairway beneath you the other way, so you're like feet to feet with them.

SPEAKER_03 47:42

Whoa. Tickle their feet as they pass by.

SPEAKER_07 47:44

And like the the gravity is all over the place, and there's twisting pathways, and you're at a really it's a really cool spot, but you do see a teleportation bell uh back to the desk.

SPEAKER_04 47:53

Gail would like look around and she'd be like, Whoa, holy shit, this is amazing. Trace her fingers across the book, the spines of the books, walking towards the teleportation spell, and like have kind of a I have kind of a moment for a second. Yeah, she's enjoying the scenery and she decides she wants to study another book, so she'll she'll ring the bell to talk to Octopus Man. She's going to get some Yowie.

SPEAKER_00 48:15

What?

SPEAKER_07 48:16

He's right. Do you what? My brain, I heard it, but I didn't process it. What the Um Okay, he goes, No, hello! How's it going?

SPEAKER_04 48:27

Who's she talking to? Catherine? No, you. You, you fucking idiot. You want to do mine now? Or do you I thought we were gonna do the next my book after Catherine gets in?

SPEAKER_07 48:36

No, I mean I can try to put the next book before we do Catherine. So who's it?

SPEAKER_04 48:41

I've got Octopus in front of me, but is that is there anybody else that I get in here, Sean?

SPEAKER_07 48:45

Uh sure, yeah. There's a uh a penguin in line behind you.

SPEAKER_04 48:48

So nobody I know.

SPEAKER_07 48:48

It's a very small penguin, yeah. Nobody you know.

SPEAKER_04 48:51

Okay. I would like asking, like, uh, I just was I found this book, which I would like to purchase um later, but before doing that, I had another request. I was interested in maybe looking at a book of scenery in Terra, if that's possible. I don't know if you guys have books that broad, but just like scenic locations, travel ideas in Terra, that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_07 49:14

Okay, okay, yeah, let me take a look in the inventory real quick.

SPEAKER_05 49:22

The sound effects.

SPEAKER_07 49:26

It's a lot of noise. Yeah, I think I found something. And then he grabs your hand, hits the bell, you teleport. Now back to Catherine. Back to me. Catherine, you were talking about basic crafting, if I'm not mistaken. Yes, sir. Yeah, you find the book quite easily. It's just a book. It says uh it's a yellow book. It says crafting for critters. Uh basic crafting for dummies. Yeah. That's the book you find.

SPEAKER_01 49:47

Yeah. I'm gonna I'm gonna just grab it.

SPEAKER_07 49:51

Hell yeah.

unknown 49:52

Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 49:52

Yeah, that's all I can do. Uh I'm not even gonna look through it because I'm gonna I fully intend to borrow it and like study it later. So I'm gonna ring the bell to go back.

SPEAKER_07 50:01

Okay, yeah, you head back to the desk and he's like, Paul McClara, you're back, you're back so fast. I just sent one of your other friends. You guys are f filled with a desire for knowledge, and I love it. Yeah. What can I do? You're fine. I'm sorry, what's your name? My name is Hank, the librarian Hank.

SPEAKER_01 50:14

Hank.

SPEAKER_07 50:14

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 50:15

That's a fantastic name, Hank. Thanks. Look, I don't have a lot of time left here. Mm-hmm. But I wondered if, you know, in the recently checked out or recently returned, you had um two books about investing pips and also the history of Apple Dale, just in case you had them offhand.

SPEAKER_05 50:33

Investing.

SPEAKER_01 50:34

Like like how to make pips quick, you know?

SPEAKER_05 50:36

Sam Bernstein and the Bernstein Advantage. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 50:40

In the recently returned section?

SPEAKER_01 50:42

Yeah, you know, if you had anything offhand or if you could grab something for me, just because I don't have a lot of time left here, and one of the books I had to grab was not even for me, it was for somebody else.

SPEAKER_07 50:52

Oh, hang on. And he goes back and he pulls out uh this bucket of books. Would you go ahead and roll me a luck roll, please?

SPEAKER_01 51:01

Oh my god. A luck roll? I never had to do that.

SPEAKER_07 51:05

I got 15. Oh yeah, okay. So he pulls one out. I I will give you one of these two books. Okay. And even will be a how to invest pips and make pips fast. And odds will be the other one. What is that one?

SPEAKER_01 51:18

The history of Appledale.

SPEAKER_07 51:20

Right. Odds. You get the history of Appledale is what you get. Okay, so he hands you the book.

SPEAKER_01 51:26

That's great. Fantastic.

SPEAKER_07 51:27

So are you gonna flip it open and read with the remainder of your time?

SPEAKER_01 51:30

Yeah, definitely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 51:31

He goes, Oh, if you're looking to read, uh, there's a a comfortable lounge section just over that way.

SPEAKER_01 51:38

Thank you, Hank. I appreciate that. Yes, of course, no problem. You've helped me a lot today. This is this is really wonderful. I'll I'll certainly be back.

SPEAKER_07 51:45

Knowledge welcomes all, and I allow all peoples in here, so I'm very glad to have you. Thank you. Go on. You start walking over in the direction of this lounge area, and there's a pillar from top to bottom, it's just individual portraits of the librarian Hank.

SPEAKER_01 52:03

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_07 52:04

And underneath what you could only assume are his uh children and wife. You walk past this kind of half pillar, and there's a doorway on either side that goes all the way to the ceiling, and you walk in, and uh what you see makes your stomach drop pretty immediately. Oh. It's not the fireplace or the chairs or the couches that freak you out. It's a very familiar silhouette. A very triangular silhouette. Oh fuck. He turns his head slowly towards you with a big smile and says, Well, hello there. It's good to see you. You see Morrigan.

SPEAKER_01 52:38

Not this fucking guy.

SPEAKER_07 52:40

What what exactly are you doing here? Same as you, I imagine. Just doing some light reading.

SPEAKER_01 52:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 52:47

And he closes a book and it says jungle terrains and how to navigate them. I was actually just heading out, but don't worry. There's a uh violence protection spell on this place, and nobody can cause even a little bit of harm on someone else here.

SPEAKER_01 53:02

I'm surprised you can even read.

SPEAKER_07 53:06

Well, I will uh I'll see you around out there.

SPEAKER_01 53:10

Yeah. Run. Scared. Little bitch. Oh.

SPEAKER_07 53:15

Yeah. We'll see. We'll see if you'll stand saying that when there isn't a violent protection, violence protection spell. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:21

You wish the violent protection was the reason you can't attack.

SPEAKER_07 53:26

He just walks away. Son of a bitch. So in I hate that guy.

unknown 53:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 53:32

You sit down to read. Um, and what you read is this Appledale is a land of grasslands, forests, and abandoned human cities. Throughout most of time, the place between has been here, and throughout most of time, there has been slips in reality. Moments where pieces of land fell through from other realms, and this is where they ended up. And for some reason, they gain the ability to float and stay in place, and they tend to clump together based on what is familiar. This whole area looks very uh North American from the land of Terra. You read about a few different monarchs that have ruled over this land for uh a pretty good piece of time. Hang on, I gotta find where in my notes I put that. You read about a group of first human kings, but then Morgoth took over and created the Manslayer, and the Manslayer killed every human being in this entire realm, and then Morgoth took over. That started a great civil war throughout the entire land. That is when the mysterious rise of King Ferdinand the Great began. Uh, began as an individual known by few. Ten years ago, he rapidly rose to second in command of the country due to several untimely deaths of officials. And even the prince of Appledale, Marquise, passed away. The Queen of Appledale, Balian Oakhart, grieved by the loss of her son, became inconsolable and surrendered her throne to her advisor Ferdinand, and he has remained in power ever since. And you see a portrait of a fox that you would recognize as the king that you have met in the past.

SPEAKER_01 55:11

Yeah, super suspicious. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 55:14

Okay, and that is what you uh learn from that. Okay. Thank you. D. What was it you were researching? Loss of limb, right? Loss of limb, yeah. Okay, so you find the book pretty easy, which is a common theme so far. Um in what you read is of a magical ritual and a spell you can do, but it requires a very specific uh amount of components and items in order for you to be able to complete this spell. Ugh. Okay, and they are you need to acquire the same limb that you are missing from a creature of the same species and soul origin. So that means you need to find a Terran crow foot. Okay, so a person who was Terran came here, became a crow, and take their foot. That's intense. You need a small vial of blood from an axolotl, salamander, or gecko. You need a leaf from the Columbinae fig. It is a tree that grows in wet tropical and moist lowland forests. And then you need to grind the components together in a bowl, dapping on both the wound and the limb of the other creature, and wrap them tightly together, the limb will reattach with a long rest. And that is what it would take for you to get a limb back. Okay, hold on. And so I need the blood of what? An axolotl gecko. Salamander or gecko, which you would probably realize and remember that from the words of Jack, he is a green gecko, so that one might be easy. You gotta harvest Jack. If he's not mad at me still.

SPEAKER_04 56:37

No, you can do it without it.

SPEAKER_07 56:39

It's it's just it's just a little vial. I'll send you that all Dan as well, so you don't have to like. Okay, I wrote some of it down, but the the fig tree I was gonna fuck up, so it took I had to copy paste it. Broken rights, you don't have to rub it in. You ring the bell and you head back to the counter. Uh now we'll go for Candon. You looked for what book was it? Sorry? The transportation book. We already we already did that, though. Yeah, you did. Did you end up going back and looking for another book or no?

SPEAKER_02 57:05

Well, you you didn't you didn't prompt me to do that. Sorry. No, you're good.

SPEAKER_07 57:09

So you ring the bell, you're back at the front desk, and he's like, Oh, yes, what can I do for you? What's up, bro? Would you like to check out another book? Yes. Okay, what what kind of thing would you be looking for? Actually, how are you doing, buddy? You see all of his many shoulders go slump. You know, I'm I'm alright. Like, a lot of stress, you know, with my biggest source of customers through Abbledale, like kind of banning, you know, banning my library, saying it's heresy because I kept that book in here with the history of, you know, King Ferdinand and stuff, and they're saying it's all fake, but it's very well documented. I triple check my sources and stuff, and like, I don't know, just lots of like just like general harassment by people, like they can't commit violence here, but like things kinda just it kind of sucks. It's a lot of stress on like me and my family and stuff, so kind of a bummer.

SPEAKER_02 58:00

Dude, I promise you I will speak because we we have a dinner, right, later on tonight.

SPEAKER_07 58:07

Oh no, that's not tonight. In four days.

SPEAKER_02 58:12

Sorry, in four days. We have a dinner with the king. We have a dinner with the king, and I I will speak to him about that because that's bullshit.

SPEAKER_07 58:22

So he uh looks back and forth and just gonna make sure nobody is around, and he leans in and he's like, Don't talk to him. Don't do nothing but try to get on his good side. You benefit me nothing, and you benefit your nothing from talking to him.

SPEAKER_02 58:39

Wow. They're terrorizing me.

SPEAKER_07 58:42

He's a evil evil man. And I can live with that. They can't hurt me here. They've come here, they can't detain me, they can't do nothing.

SPEAKER_02 58:53

I can still whoop his ass for being mean to you.

SPEAKER_07 58:56

Look at me. I appreciate your heart and your desire for trust as well. You gain nothing from that.

SPEAKER_02 59:06

I grab all I grab his the top of his top eight arms, and I go. Hey, buddy. I gain the satisfaction of being anti-authoritarian. Also by keeping people from messing with you and your family.

SPEAKER_07 59:22

My friend, there are other things you could do in that palace using that time or that night that would benefit you and me much more. You understand?

SPEAKER_02 59:35

Keep on talking. My eight-legged friend.

SPEAKER_07 59:38

He looks around once again. Let me see your hand. Whoa. And he takes your hand. Okay. And he rings the bell, and you go somewhere that doesn't look like anywhere else you've been. It is a dark room, and it's just a hallway. There's no books in sight, and there's lots of intricate detailing on the wall, and it's all the same wooding and stuff. Waddles up to this spot on the wall. It's a little curly design, and it has a wooden button at its center, and he presses it and it goes. And he pulls out a scroll from it, and he closes it, and he walks over to you and goes, listen.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:14

Listen.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:15

A very good friend of mine, whose name I can't tell you, managed to get their hands on this. And he unrolls it, and it's a uh it's a plan, it's a blueprint. This is the blueprint for the security of the king's castle. On the day of the ball, you and your group, should you desire, have the opportunity to make it back into this secret room. This room must have something the king does not want anybody to know. Gotcha. And I'm very certain of it. Keep it a secret, keep it safe. Don't let anybody see you have this. They'll kill you for this.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:53

Nobody will say it, dude. I'll keep it.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:57

It was stolen just the other night. If they find you have this, you're done. Gotcha. They'll execute you, it won't matter if you're turned. Now, what you should do is try to find a way back into that room. The night of the ball, come up with a plan, make it back into this room. Got it. If anyone can do it, it's it's you guys. I've been I've been watching what I can watch through my library, and I am deeply impressed with all of you. Be careful.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:23

Um, one question. Who specifically is bullying you? Who specific?

SPEAKER_07 1:01:29

I mean, like, it's just kind of like a general I don't I try to I I'm really about the forgiving life, you know. Like the we have Vinland saga here in this library, and I'm like, I'm a huge fan of life. Oh Lord. Like I'm about the I have no enemies and um Vinland saga here.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:44

You're Thorfinn for real?

SPEAKER_07 1:01:45

Yeah, I'm I like Thorfinn for real. That is the goal. You know, like no enemies, forget their names, and that's why this is way more important. So hug this somewhere on your person and we'll teleport you back, okay? Gotcha.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:56

I stake it in my shirt.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:58

I just had it. That secure enough. And that will be the last little bit for you. Who's next, gang? Well, it's not Jacob. It's not Jacob. Is it you, Isaiah?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:11

Gail, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:12

That's true.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:13

Yay!

SPEAKER_07 1:02:14

Uh, Isaiah, you teleport into a Gail. You teleport into uh My ass.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:24

My bad. My bad. My bad. I'm licking my lips.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:29

Gail, you teleport into the center of a big uh circular shelf with a spiral staircase all the way up it, and what you find is a book that says Terra with some very uh shiny letters on the outside of it. Awesome.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:45

So I would say Gail picking out this book would have like a quiet moment of hesitation as she reaches out for it and she has like a shaky breath that she takes in deep and lets out one time and then flips it open.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:00

And when you open it, at first there's nothing, but then you see little sparkles of uh light magic floating up from the book, and it takes the form of a picture. As you flip through the different pages, you see many just absolutely beautiful images of what Terra used to look like back in medieval times. Not a world polluted by smoke or fog or trash. It was just it was a much simpler time, and there's many beautiful scenes that you get to see in near 3D with this magic illusion.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:32

And at first she's just overcome with the beauty of like the scenery that she's seeing. But she wants to start returning to specific places that she's seen in real life and her travels with her significant other. And it's gonna be an absolutely breathtaking experience for her, but she it's gonna kind of ruin her a little bit. So she's gonna fall down and just sit on the stairs looking at it, and she'll quietly start sobbing. And I'd like to say that Gail would not return back to the octopus of her own will. She'd be too caught up in the moment.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:03

So she spends Yeah, a while there, for sure. Okay. Okay. The lights begin to slowly uh dim, and for those of you at the front desk, you guys are all kind of waiting for Gail to come back, and she's the only one who hasn't returned so far. Everybody else is kind of standing there at the front desk. Jack, you guys returned. You have the map hidden in your shirt.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:25

Hey guys, I I got I got something. But I'm gonna have to tell you guys about it later. Alright. Turns out, guys, the king.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:37

Kind of an asshole. Okay. Isn't isn't everybody here kind of an asshole?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:42

Yeah, you know, I was reading about in my in my uh the History of Appledale book. I've there's a lot of juicy uh information in there that I didn't know before.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:52

We're gonna have to rob him. I like books with pictures.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:57

Yeah, we'll uh we'll uh we'll kind of come together on the information there, but uh I wonder what's taking Gail so long.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:06

Well we have to find out what's gonna run. I'll trade the map. I'll date it.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:13

Thanks, Jack. I can't wait to see it, honestly. I got I actually got like three books, well like two books because I gotta give one of these to to Winston. I do have one card. Sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:25

Where's Gail?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:26

Yeah, that's what kind of what I was wondering. Where the hell is Gail? Uh DM, in this time I'd Roz would like to slide uh Hank some pips. She's got like two spare pips. Uh she would just like to tip 'em, you know, for the excellent service. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:44

Yeah, uh he uh smiles ear to ear and he's like and not ear to ear. I don't know if they have ears. Hey Jamie, can you look if octopuses have ears? You can tell by the way his face moves that he's happy.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:56

Hey hey Hank, thanks. I appreciate everything you did. Um I'll I'll certainly be back, Hank. Thank you.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:03

Oh, yes, of course. Uh he goes, um, I'm sorry, but we're gonna be closing soon. Uh what is what's going on? Oh, you're looking for one of your friends, yes? Yeah, Yale. Hmm. Well, um, maybe she's just lost in a good book. I'll teleport us all to the general kind of wing of the library, and then uh we'll uh we'll do a little look for her, and then we can check out your books and then we'll uh we'll get going. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:30

John's gonna throw us into a poetry boss battle right now.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:33

Here's what happens. He rings the bell, and all of you guys are teleported to the general area that Gail is in. But uh basically I want everybody to roll a d20, and that's who's gonna find Gail crying.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:46

Can I also roll whatever I need to roll for like uh perception to see if I would actually notice them enter or if I'd be too caught up in my moment.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:55

Uh, because it's such a heavy emotional moment, will you roll it with disadvantage?

SPEAKER_04 1:07:00

I was gonna say I should, so I like that.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:02

Go ahead and roll with disadvantage. I got 11. You do you do here.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:08

I got a one.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:09

I do three. Damn! One? You guys both got ones? Yeah. Yes, Jacob. I got a nine.

unknown 1:07:16

Okay. Cool.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:17

I'm glad to hear it.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:18

Roz got a ten.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:20

You got a what, Roz?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:22

A ten. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:23

Uh Jack and D. I would like this to be a one-on-one moment. I want you both to roll again, and whoever gets slower is the one who finds her.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:32

I got I got you, man. You're you're so screwed, D. You're so screwed. I'm about to oh my god, I'm about to roll the biggest.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:41

You have to beat an 11. Please beat an 11, because Dan is not known for his comforting quality. I I gotta say X stain. Looks like you're crazy. Lovely, I gotta do it.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:51

So can I say with Gail's passing perception and Dee's natural one, that she would look up and like make eye contact. And then before like anything, like there's just a second of silence before anything happens, and she would wipe away her tears as best as she could and like close the book and try and straighten herself up. But like D would definitely perceive that for sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:12

Dan would just kind of glance away for a second and then just be like I'll keep it between us. I didn't see that, and that didn't happen, right? You gotta keep your tough girl persona. Where am I?

SPEAKER_04 1:08:23

Am I like close enough to talk to?

SPEAKER_07 1:08:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:26

And my in my imagination I was like up on some stairs and I was looking down or something. I don't know what I was picturing.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:30

I was picturing like this this spiral staircase is kind of like its own kind of concealed area and there's shelves all the way up it. When you look down a spiral staircase, the the soonest you could see him is when you see him. But he is a little bit far away, but you could still talk.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:43

Could we talk without everybody else hearing though?

SPEAKER_07 1:08:46

Oh yeah, absolutely. Everybody else is a little bit away. Okay. Books dampen sound a lot. I'll wave. You're not there. Oh you can't see them.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:54

Well, no, I I am off I am off to the side, right? We're all off to the side.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:00

You guys are so basically he teleported you all to the wing of the library where he last sent Gail, and then uh Dan's just the only one who has found Gail. So only people who are in the conversation is Dan and I gotta gang. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:12

I was just trying to be comfortable in my bad sense. You gotta be an asshole.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:15

So that so Dan said that, Gail, Gail, go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:19

Gail would would just uh try and clear her throat and then like address the room and just be like, oh, hey guys. It's just it's just me. Well everyone's in the room, right? It's just that Dan's. No, the first seeming.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:31

It's just Dan and you. Where's everybody else?

SPEAKER_04 1:09:33

Gooning.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:34

Okay, so everybody got teleported to the same wing of the library that you were sent to, but only Dan is with you in this specific room.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:41

Oh, okay. I thought he was just really close to me, and everybody else was like in the room, but I thought so too, but uh but you guys are the only you he's just the one that found you.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:51

They were all spreading out to look for you.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:52

Okay, all right, sorry. Yeah, yeah. I thought the same thing, and then John was an asshole, so you know he wasn't an asshole to you. Yeah, I was nice. He wasn't an asshole to you though when he was explaining it, but he was an asshole to me. He said wrong. It's fine. It's fine. No, it wasn't. Lo look back at the edit. Look back at the edit. Wrong. Look back at the edit.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:11

Are you a politician, John?

SPEAKER_04 1:10:13

Actually, in that case, Gail would say, would just quietly say thank you to to D and try and like straighten up. She's put the book back, though. She's not taking that with her. And she'll straighten up and ask, like, where's everybody else?

SPEAKER_03 1:10:26

Uh they're looking for you. I don't know exactly where, but they're they're all in the same wing. Do you want to talk about it, or would you rather pretend this didn't happen entirely? I'm good with either one.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:37

Um no, it's it's okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:39

Thank thank you for the offer though.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:41

Yep. I appreciate it. And she's still like wiping her eyes a little bit, like trying to look presentable. She's like, but more feminine than that.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:50

More sorry.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:56

Scratch his beard. Would you give me a uh deck save for making it look like you weren't crying for the last little bit?

SPEAKER_04 1:11:03

Awesome.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:06

I can't I can't see that.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:07

Hold on. It's gonna adjust. I can't. Hold on, it's gonna adjust. Okay, it's gonna adjust.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:11

Surely any second it will.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:12

It's a tweeny, John.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:14

It's a tweenie.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:14

Oh, it's a twenty?

SPEAKER_03 1:11:15

It is. Oh fuck. Do I have anything in my sleeve or like pocket that I could give to her to like kind of help her clean herself up just a little bit?

SPEAKER_07 1:11:21

Okay, yeah, you have a spare napkin that you hand her, and it doesn't help, but she appreciates it, maybe. Yeah, yeah. She does. Dan and Gail start walking back down, and they kinda everybody kind of gathers. Why were you crying?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:34

What's happening? Why are you crying? You stole my lad. You stole my fucking lad.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:38

Yeah, yeah, I'm I'm I'm fine. It's okay. Gail would be taken aback by the fact that everyone has noticed she's crying because she's trying not to show it.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:47

Dan's standing like right next to her, just kind of glancing, like looking away, doing everything to avoid the situation.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:54

She's like flipping glances in over, like uh no. I'm okay. Sick.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:01

Do you want to talk about it, Gail?

unknown 1:12:03

I don't think she wants to talk about it.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:04

Yeah, but it I mean it doesn't hurt to ask. Yeah, but like sometimes you gotta open the door to get anywhere.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:15

And then they came out and neither one of them said anything.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:17

Alright, well, uh, I mean I'll leave her alone, but like girl to girl, sometimes you gotta you gotta chit-chat. Yeah, no, no.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:23

So that's where Samuel comes in, he's like, oh Gil, your fucking makeup's all fucked up. Gil's gonna ignore that.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:36

Samuel can't say that.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:39

That's a good turns and looks at Samuel and she's like, Samuel, stop it.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:43

He's been acting like an old man so long, he's losing his identity.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:48

This is the real Samuel now grab him and shake him, and he turns normal. He is the mask that he wears.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:55

It's the goblin mask, dude. The cut water drink, dude.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:01

Jake is fucking crying. Oh my god, I'm sorry. I fucking did it. That was so funny.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:09

Oh man.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:11

Okay, alright, Gail.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:14

Real time. Gail would ignore uh that, but she would she would say, It's just that listen, we all came together because we all went through some sort of heartbreak, right? Right. I don't know how to talk about it, but I'm just I'm still dealing with it. And I'm letting it get in the way of this important stuff right now, and I'm I'm sorry. And I won't I'll keep it to myself better. Don't don't do that.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:41

Gail, come on. It's okay. I mean, you know, it's it's not your fault. I mean, I got a crafting for dummies book, and I I feel like a fucking idiot. It makes me want to cry too.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:52

You know what I got? You know what I got? I got a book about transportation.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:57

I think Jack funny be autistic.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:00

Wait, what? Uh what do you mean? You got a book about you got a book about trains, huh?

SPEAKER_01 1:14:05

Jack, is your book uh is your book primarily about trains?

SPEAKER_02 1:14:12

But we understand you, Gail. We get you. We're we mind mailed with you. So you're good. You can tell us.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:20

She kind of chuckled at both of you guys as like jokes. But at the mention of Jack saying that you guys get Gail, like you understand and stuff, she gets pardoned. She's very serious now.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:32

Maybe you shouldn't have said that. My bad, my my bad Gail. Sorry, I I realize my issue.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:37

She'll just she'll shake her head and she'll she'll just move like she'll try and move past everybody towards the the teleportation bell while saying it's okay. Thank you for I start following her.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:48

Okay, so Gail pushes Bast to the uh teleportation bell. Gail, go go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:55

Yeah, she would just be completely turned tuning everything else out. And she would just she would hit the bell. And even after that, uh she would definitely bolt out of the library. Damn it. Probably without paying for her book, also. Just like NMS and try and get some distance. Okay. I hope it's honor system. I hope it's not a spell that's gonna strike me. It's probably gonna be.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:22

Yeah, I mean, like, Hank was present, so he witnessed this as well, and he's like, Oh, Hank. Um no, it's okay. I have like I can I have a battle for returning books. Oh that's when she when the two weeks is up, I'll just you know, I'll just do my battle for that and uh it'll be all it's all good. Don't don't don't don't worry about her. Like, just go find her, make sure she's safe. It's a dangerous world out there, and also there's all those protesters right outside the gate. Just yeah, just you guys should go after her. Hurry. Don't worry. I I'll figure out the paperwork on all your books. Go, go, sure, sure. Thanks, Hank. Thanks, my goat. Of course, yes, of course. All right. So you you guys run down the stairs into the uh big circular room. Behind you, uh the gate closes. Uh you can still see a couple people walking in from certain damn. I wanted to uh hit on Hank real quick.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:15

You can always come back.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:16

There's a big circular room that you guys walked in. All the stairways are gated off, except for the one that you guys head down, which closes right after you. And you can still see some people walking in through some portals, heading towards other portals. You guys run back out the Pine Hill Library teleportation, and I will I'll go to Gail now. You get out of about a minute before everybody else does. You run out through this portal into the garden. It is actually currently nighttime and raining. You run out the gate. Where are you headed?

SPEAKER_04 1:16:46

I don't know that Gail has a good idea of where she's headed. She would probably get far enough away from the library and then like turn into some alley or something to go have a panic attack on her own.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:57

Okay. Um that's where Sean Diddy Combs, who secretly lived, was waiting. Returning villain.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:06

Hard to believe you will.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:08

I'm gonna go ahead and roll my little dice here uh for which direction you head, and then uh I'll then I will know which direction you went. That's what I'm saying. You run until basically you run down an alleyway. The alleyway actually ends up against the the great wall of Pine Hill. You've headed all the way to the southern edge of the city, and there's nowhere left for you to run. The great wall of Pine Hill.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:42

The great wall of Pine Hill. I just say that louder than me. I swear to God. I'm losing my mind. I'm sorry, Cannon.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:51

I didn't hear you.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:52

I was I was repeating it with affection towards what you said. I'm losing my mind.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:58

Your back hits the wall and you clump down onto the ground.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:02

Yeah, full on like heaving and some some tears here and there, but she's trying her best just to keep it keep it calm. She's like clutching her chest, and she's just like freaking out, immensely guilty over her emotional breakdown.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:16

So you are sitting there and you are in full panic mode, and after a little bit, you see a hooded figure walks towards the entrance of the alleyway, turns towards you, walks up to you, and then sits down beside you. He sits with you a moment and says, I see if it dies with you. Our stories are much the same.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:41

Gail hearing this would recognize that you're there for the first time. She's like surprised. So she would stand up and immediately like her face at him and like great distance.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:51

Yeah, you you back up a little bit. He stands, and he's a little taller than you, but not by much. He uh reaches up and pulls his hood off, and then his big ears come up, or he is a vampire bat. And he says, I'm going to go there forward. He starts walking away slowly. I was invited into this. I don't trust anymore. Hood goes on, he turns into a green mist. And then, Gail, in your chest, you feel a very strange feeling, and you actually feel this feeling multiplying and multiplying and multiplying, and you can feel deep in your soul that this is not, this is not you and your body feeling this. This is something exterior to you doing something inside your body. In that moment, you collapse. D'Angelo Last Name is Dan, Candon Johnson is Jack, Catherine Bivens is Roz, Isaiah Nyman is Gail, and me, Jonathan Ransom, as your DM and audio editor. This podcast would not exist without the inspiration of real play podcasts that came before, such as Dungeons and Daddies, Critical Role, Adventure Zone, and Dungeons and Daddies again, because I'm the biggest D and Dads glazer you will find. Bye-bye.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:26

Oh yeah. This is my gut water easier.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:40

I'm gonna go key and then get me a D. Enjoy editing John. That's what you're lying. Ignore that.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:50

I've got a fart, I don't know if it's gonna be loud, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:21

Oh, I'm back.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:24

She takes it in deep, huh?

SPEAKER_02 1:22:29

Octopuses do have eight legs, right? Yeah, they have they have very good.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:34

Not this one. This one has seven, actually.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:41

I'm awake right now! What are you talking about? I'm drawing. Drawing.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:46

You're drawing. I'm cooking, dude. I'm ready.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:50

And that will be the last little bit for you. Um not for tonight, but like for for before the library closes. You're done. You're out of the box. I was just kidding. Uh okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:04

I'm super good at windling here. Windling? I meant whittling. Please edit that where I don't sound like a jackass. Thank you.