Husbands Tell All (Part 3): The Summer Mistress & The Farm Budget

We’re back for Part 3 of our Husbands Tell All series, and things are getting real. This week, we’re tackling the "Farm Logic" budget—you know, the one where we’re watching every grocery receipt while a $10,000 tractor repair happens without a second thought.

We also dive into the "summer mistress": the pivots. We’re talking about those late nights, missed dinners, and the seasons where it feels like the farm is the priority and we’re just along for the ride. The guys are joining us to defend their side and explain how we navigate the chaos without losing our minds (or our marriages).

Grab a drink and join us for a raw, funny look at what it’s actually like to be "married to the farm.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Well, where did you put this? It's it's long gone. It's out in the burn pile at this point. Go dig it out if you really want it. I asked you to put it away. So, Brady, I have a question for you. What's it like when the corn is high but the chaos is higher? It's a lot of things, but it's never boring.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

This is the Farm Wi-Fi's life between the rows. Welcome back, guys. It is part three of the men's tell all.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

Well, gals, guys and gals, you should welcome them back too. You just said guys. Oh. Gals would probably listen to me too.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

It's probably mostly gals. Yeah. I just um never had somebody clarify me before.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

And let you be sexist.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Okay, thank you, honey. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

It's nice of you.

SPEAKER_01 0:42

Um, so last episode we talked about, well, get it together, Addy. We talked about how the farm and our husband's decisions affect our relationship and our marriage. So we're just gonna get into it because Tyler has recently put me on a budget. That's which, yeah, um, it's been humbling for sure. I didn't realize how hard it would be to spend only $180 on groceries a week. But man, it is.

SPEAKER_00 1:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

But I needed it. I like Amazon a little bit too much, the UPS.

SPEAKER_03 1:19

Amazon truck is at our place daily.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

No, it did not come today.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

Just put it on the budget, Chris. Put it on a budget, it works.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

But regardless, this brings me into my question. Why, like, why do why do I need to be on the budget, but the farm's not on a budget?

SPEAKER_02 1:36

I am on a budget. I go through every I go through with you there after you're gonna do it. I go through every year, and you see how many bushels you're projected to make, what your cost that you can sell that bushel was, hopefully.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

But you get to set your budget. I do. I didn't set my budget.

SPEAKER_02 1:55

Well, I give you how much a month we're making on the farm, so that's what we have to pay for what we can afford to live on.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

Okay, so even if it is a part of my budget, if I want to go spend a hundred dollars on something that's for me or clothes for the kids that may me that maybe they didn't necessarily need.

SPEAKER_02 2:15

As long as you keep it under a dollar amount, it doesn't really matter.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

You still care, you don't think it's necessary, but when it comes to your farm, if there's an idea or a venture or something, but it's quote unquote for the farm, then it's okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:29

Because it has ROI, return on investment, tax deductible.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

Is this the same fight for you guys? Oh yeah, 100%. I think Cody just said, oh yeah, it's tax deductible. Really, anything could be tax deductible if you spin it in the way that it needs to be spun.

SPEAKER_02 2:47

You must have a really good accountant.

SPEAKER_00 2:49

Hell yeah, I do. Like Cash is King over in Beox. I yeah, like so. I have an LLC, not necessarily farm related.

SPEAKER_01 2:59

Right, no, but for your kind of for yourself.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

I mean right. And so I think one, LLCs is the number one way to do tax, um, hiding tax things across everything. So one, know that. Two, it's not that I'm trying to hide it, but let me clarify that. But Cody will spend, here's the thing that makes me kind of just crazy is Cody will say, Well, I need to go buy XYZ for the farm, and I'm expected not to bat an eye about it. I'm expected to just say, Okay, sounds good, go do whatever you want. But the second that I actually fight it is the second that that causes that. And I might not be fighting it, but I'm like, why do you need that? Why do you need that right at this second? Like, why can't we wait to do something? And he's like, Well, we gotta we have to do it in this and this and this. And I'm like, but you don't need it. It's a want versus a need at this point.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

I just hate how it always gets turned into, well, the farm makes money, it's gonna make money for the farm, so it's necessary.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

Which I get, but like there, I think there's a line to it.

SPEAKER_03 4:08

It's like, oh, that's a pretty good deal.

SPEAKER_00 4:09

Here's the other thing is I think it goes off a little because Tyler is the only one that's quote unquote making money. Yes, he's like you're saving money because you're not spending you know sending the kids to daycare every single day. But so that I can understand that a little bit, but I always joke where it's like my money is my money, Cody's money is our money. It's not really like that. Huh?

SPEAKER_02 4:32

You're married, so that's all the same.

SPEAKER_00 4:34

I yes, it is, but I joke that way. And most of the time when I'm buying things on Amazon, they are tax deductible because of my LLC.

SPEAKER_03 4:44

Ten boxes later on the stuff and then who cares?

SPEAKER_00 4:46

I don't I don't ship it. It could come in one box, it could have 14 different small boxes within one big box, and you wouldn't it would just be one box and you wouldn't care.

SPEAKER_02 4:55

As long as it's got good return on what you're buying. Return on investment. Sure.

SPEAKER_00 5:00

I just bought fly traps. Is that a return on investment? Okay. There's flies in my house, cluster flies. They're in every single frickin' farmhouse. Or even the Japanese ladybugs, like those beetle things. The return on investment is less anxiety of my mental health and me not complaining to Cody to say for you don't have to play pay for Alexa Pro. Yeah, I don't have to pay for AlexaPro. I don't have to pay for a new window.

SPEAKER_03 5:33

I don't have to pay for I could live without that Alexa in a heartbeat. I can see that.

SPEAKER_00 5:39

We we're talking about Alexa.

SPEAKER_02 5:41

How you're saying about the dollar signs, that's a good return on investment. I'd agree with you on that one then.

SPEAKER_00 5:45

It's not making me any money. But I Cody and I just talked about it this morning. I'm like, you need to put in that outlet that you told me to that you were gonna do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

But when I buy the supplies, yeah, you just got up and you just started blah blah blah blah, and I was not having it this morning. I'm like, don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_02 6:04

An extension cord probably has a better return on it than you.

SPEAKER_00 6:07

You can't plug in a portable air conditioner unit into an extension cord. I live with a firefighter.

SPEAKER_02 6:14

Yeah, comes in overfit. Insure the house for more and plug it in.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

What type of?

SPEAKER_02 6:18

Insure the house for a little more and plug it in.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

Oh dear lord. Then what am I gonna do? Come live with you?

SPEAKER_03 6:25

Buy a camper.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

No.

SPEAKER_03 6:28

No, we can go buy an RV for polling and then live in it slash have a new shop on the roof.

SPEAKER_00 6:35

See tangent. Yeah. Here's the thing.

SPEAKER_01 6:37

Mine isn't necessarily ROI immediately. My ROI is in 15 years, and that's what you struggle seeing.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

Yeah, if you sell the house, you mean?

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

That's true.

SPEAKER_01 6:51

Then you but you still complain on me every time I want to do something.

SPEAKER_02 6:54

Not every time. 50%. Oh.

SPEAKER_00 6:57

Cody also, I mean, we talk about this, like it might not be a farm expense or an expense of that sort, but a return on investment of a good, solid vacation.

SPEAKER_01 7:08

Oh yeah, happiness.

SPEAKER_00 7:10

Like, I would love that. I love traveling. Cody did not grow up traveling.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

Mexico, here we come. I know. I can't wait. Is it December yet?

SPEAKER_00 7:19

So that is a return on investment because of the like reboot for your marriage. Right.

SPEAKER_01 7:26

Stress relief.

SPEAKER_03 7:27

Maybe about three days and it'd be like, all right, let's get it.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

Cody, you complain and complain, but you have a ball once you're there. I don't even want to hear it. He has more fun than anybody else.

SPEAKER_00 7:35

He really does.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

That was really fun, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

Here's the thing, too, that I love about traveling outside of the country, total tangent, and then we'll be done with it.

SPEAKER_03 7:45

But is shot when we're down there?

SPEAKER_00 7:48

No, stop. Cody does not have cell reception down there. And I love that.

SPEAKER_03 7:53

Uh-uh. I turned Wi-Fi on.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

But the resort we're going to, you have to pay for the Wi-Fi so you don't get free Wi-Fi.

SPEAKER_02 8:00

Well, we're paying for it.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

No, we're not paying for it.

SPEAKER_02 8:02

No, you can't pay for it. That's bad return on investment. See? Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

Can't pay for it. You're out of luck.

SPEAKER_02 8:08

I guess I'm buying it.

SPEAKER_00 8:11

But see, I can't bitch about it.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

Right. Okay. Yeah, we did really just get to a tangent. I have to kind of get my figure out where we're going with this. Okay, so obviously that puts a strain on a marriage when your wife has an idea of how money should be spent or what she thinks is necessary. And the men, husbands, also have an idea of your farm what you think is necessary, and that puts a strain on the marriage. So how I mean I think you and I can agree that we are probably in like a better part of our marriage after having two kids and just being in the trenches of postpartum, and we only have a two-month-old right now. But what about you guys? Do you feel like you can remember a really hard time in your or like a hard season in your marriage? Because you've been married for how long now? I guess we could talk about that too. How long have you been married?

SPEAKER_00 9:06

We just celebrated four years together. Like married four years, so yeah, there's that. Been with each other for four years before that, wasn't it? Well, it will be 18 years. It will be ten years next. Yeah, it will be ten years next year.

SPEAKER_02 9:26

Um ten years is 2026. This year, you said it's 2018.

SPEAKER_00 9:31

We started like talking, not officially dating in 2017. Okay. Yeah, we're the same way. We're the same timeline dating.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

So yeah, I think one of the hardest seasons was trying to figure out his family dynamics. I mean, I really, really struggled with that, and I think I struggled with it because of the fact that my family was not down the street where I could just run and do it.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

And just for me, family is so different anyway.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

Yes, 100%. And I think that's I definitely struggled with that, and I know that we had not necessarily fights over it, but we had some come to Jesus meetings where I'm like, Yeah, the these are my rules, and it's not necessarily rules, but these are my expectations of how I boundaries that I'm going to be treated, and I'm and I if someone crosses them, I need you to make sure that you back me. And so I think that's one of our hardest times.

SPEAKER_03 10:26

What would you talk it out? I guess we just work through it.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

Yeah, I mean, there's always those times. You come home stressed sometimes or pissed. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:40

All the emotions, but do you feel like you have like ebbs and flows as far as like like the yearly busy seasons, aka like harvest and planting and calving for you guys? You guys are just such a different dynamic because you are so independent in your relationship and you like Tyler and I are very, I don't want to say a mesh, but like he's home at five o'clock, or you know, other than harvest, then I know I've got two months of I'm solo parenting or planting, I know I'm solo plant uh parenting. But beyond those times, I mean there may be times where you're hauling grain or you know, a late night here or there, but it's not consistently a late night. Correct.

SPEAKER_00 11:25

Yeah. I think I well, how we were talking on previous episodes where there's a die down typically in the winter time, and there's a slower time where it's like no, it's ramping up on the other side, so being diversified is always that different aspect.

SPEAKER_03 11:41

Plus working another job, trying to get a few. Oh, right. I mean, nothing against you guys, but I have to be here, you know, to make ends meet there, and then I think home and do stuff till what some nights it's late. We don't even see each other really except when I go home to eat.

SPEAKER_00 11:56

And that's if you come home, and that's if I'm even home too. So yeah, I mean, there's there's definitely busy seasons. Typically, you know, harvest is consistently those late nights. Planting is consistently uh longer days. I wouldn't necessarily say late nights all the time. Um, summer is definitely late nights, not consistently, but I know there's gonna be probably five to ten days out of the summer where he is going to be up for 24 hours straight with putting up hay. Yep. And so there's that, and then calving, it's not necessarily late nights, it's just pure chaos for 24 hours, seven days a week for especially as much as they're worth right now.

SPEAKER_03 12:42

So live with them things.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

A month. So we would see each other, maybe we would see the whites of each other's eyeballs, is what we I always say, but it would be random time, very random, and it might be I have felt him crawl into bed, and that's the first time I've like actually like had a human be next to me, like for you know, for some time. So there's that. I it's just hard to tell like what a busy season is when it's so diversified most of the time.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

Cody, do you notice a difference in like stress levels from Addy? If it is it more like you're getting into busy seasons as far as harvest, calving, planting, or is it her workload that is more of a stressor or maybe a combination?

SPEAKER_03 13:31

Yeah. Can we both be out of big project at work you're working on, you get wound up tight?

SPEAKER_00 13:37

It's not necessarily wound up, it's just like again, I don't want to talk to you. I just need to know exactly what I need to know and just move on. Because he just like like festers over me, and I'm like, leave me alone. Like, just just go away, please. I need to focus. But I mean, yeah, I definitely get stressed. I think one of the things that I get stressed off about when it comes to farming busy seasons is I get less work done around the house, and the things that I would expect Cody to do around the house, he's not doing because he's getting home late, and so I have to do it, and so that's another thing that I now have to handle, and it's another thing that I have to worry about. And I already have five million things that I have to handle and worry about, and so I would love for him to just do it, but realistically, he's getting home at 11 o'clock at night, and he was out in the field at seven o'clock in the morning if he's on time, and so that that's where I struggle with it the most because I'm like, just do your job. Like, I I'm still expected to do everything that I I need to do, whether to drop the ball, but and it's not that he was dropping the ball or is dropping the ball, it's just the fact of I can understand because he is working longer hours, but not why is that okay for him when it's not and it's not okay for me, but I get stressed and about that. What about like you and Tyler?

SPEAKER_01 15:09

Do you think we probably struggle during busy season just because you're very much farm focused? I mean, you're always farm focused, but you I mean are like wired in.

SPEAKER_02 15:24

Yeah, when there's stuff to do, you got stuff to do. Yeah. The eight to five job isn't really a legit thing during busy season.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

No, I mean you're lax in the off I say off season, but like, you know, when we're not super busy and in the fields, like you're a very lack relaxed personality, but come harvest time you get really like amped up and right.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Yeah, during the summer checking pivots and stuff. I mean, there's times that hey, this pivot isn't cooperating. We're gonna go play with it for three hours tonight or whatever and right get it going and that just puts more pressure on Brady to finish up and do whatever needs to be done.

SPEAKER_01 15:59

Yeah, which probably sucks on her part, but well, and it's just more of the um Addy, you I get you don't have kids, but you can relate because you're so type A and like on a schedule, and so being that type A, it's like where I struggle. I know that we're getting into harvest, I know that we're getting into planning, and if you're a farm wife out there listening and you're really new to this, it gets better the years that you're in it. Um, because it is hard if you're if you don't come from a farming family and it's your first busy season or your first year into it, it's very overwhelming. But yeah, it does get better. But I think with me it's the lack of communication because you're so like hyperphyxiated on the farm and things that need to be done, and I get that your head is elsewhere, but then the communication just goes out the window, and so it's like okay, it's nine o'clock at night. Where are you? When are you wrapping up? Like, what's going on?

SPEAKER_03 16:50

Like, are you running a combine? I mean, get two combines running in a field. There's a lot of stuff going on.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

I think planting's almost worse.

SPEAKER_02 16:57

Yeah, because plant, I could just do it myself. Yeah, dirty leaves and dead leaves that I want to fish that feel like a fish that feels like.

SPEAKER_01 17:03

Right, exactly. He does he does a lot later nights, I feel like it's it's just a shorter time frame.

SPEAKER_03 17:09

Well, and right pressure on.

SPEAKER_01 17:11

Yes, exactly. But yeah, mine's probably planting because you can go a lot later, you don't need a lot more help, but then it's like I'll get a call. Well, I'm almost I'm almost out of seed.

SPEAKER_02 17:21

I'll be there in a while.

SPEAKER_01 17:22

Uh-huh. And then he fills up again with seed. And I'm like, oh, okay. So then it's enough. There's a couple times you're like, oh, everything's running good. I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna fill up again and go.

SPEAKER_02 17:33

Yeah, sometimes it's necessary. It's kind of fun though to run in the lights the lights on, then we'll say that.

SPEAKER_01 17:42

It's just it's just boys pulling in the dirt.

SPEAKER_03 17:44

Picking corn in the dark, that's probably the most fun.

SPEAKER_00 17:47

Here's the thing when it comes to the communication, you guys would expect Brady and I to communicate back to you two. Like, Tyler, if you're stuck at the home with the kids and you planned your day of Oh, I've told I've I've asked him this exact scenario.

SPEAKER_01 18:02

But can tell you.

SPEAKER_00 18:03

Like, okay, Brady has an appointment in Beatrice in in the morning, so you're gonna stay home with the kids in the morning. You're probably already planning your day out. We're saying, okay, I'm gonna be out at the shop at noon, I'm gonna be able to do XX and X. And so And then what if I didn't show up till three?

SPEAKER_02 18:22

And then I'm stuck at home with the kids.

SPEAKER_00 18:24

But how would you feel?

SPEAKER_02 18:26

You'd be pretty pissed. Yeah. To an extent.

SPEAKER_00 18:29

That is so to an extent or like I'll try and see how it goes. That's fine.

SPEAKER_03 18:36

Pretty soon I'll be running around out here, it'll be fine.

SPEAKER_02 18:38

Yeah, I'll have that in helping. We'll just have them plant one field and I'll plant the other one. It'll be fine.

SPEAKER_01 18:44

Um, what's your do you feel like you notice a time of season where I am more a little bit frustrated or agitated? I don't You don't notice the time?

SPEAKER_02 18:58

No, probably when I'm checking pivots, and it's like, oh well, you gotta go check that pivot tonight or get that one going. Then I feel like you're a little more like can't it wait till the morning, which yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

You guys are just very proactive with irrigating.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

Yeah, you don't want to fall behind on that. So it's kind of nice. When it's important to go, it's more efficient to there's timing's everywhere.

SPEAKER_03 19:17

Some of the stuff.

SPEAKER_02 19:19

Yeah, some of the stuff, I mean, yeah, it could wait till the next day, but in my eyes, should it wait for the next day if I have time to do it?

SPEAKER_03 19:25

There's your extra 50 cents on a bushel of corn if you put that in.

SPEAKER_01 19:29

I mean my one of my big struggles is when they fill up the trucks at nighttime to haul in the morning. Because I'm like, they get you know, there's some nights sometimes the lines are long, so they get back at four or five o'clock. By the time they fill the trucks, I'm like, you're taking my time. It's not busy season, fill the truck in the morning and go.

SPEAKER_02 19:48

No, you're talking about hauling grain out of the bin.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:51

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:52

Yeah, it just makes you efficient for the next day.

SPEAKER_01 19:55

Yeah, but you're taking my time.

SPEAKER_00 19:57

I think it comes down to if you had somewhere to be at XYZ time and you're choosing to push that timeline back because you want to fill the trucks, that's a different story than I know I have some flexibility.

SPEAKER_03 20:14

Yeah, but when you're sitting in the line for three hours, but that's a day right there. I think that's what Brady is saying.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

Is Brady is saying that why you guys sat in the lines for three hours, so why does it matter if you fill the trucks tonight or tomorrow morning?

SPEAKER_02 20:29

Because that shaves an air after date the next day.

SPEAKER_00 20:32

But you're still gonna s you're still gonna sit in What if something on the bend breaks? Well, then you're not hauling.

SPEAKER_01 20:37

Well, and I used to not care as much, honestly, but now having two small children, there are days I really need five o'clock to roll around.

SPEAKER_00 20:46

Right. And I I can understand that. I could also understand the guy's perspective of if I have a flexible timeline where I don't necessarily need to be home at a certain time, yeah, I'm gonna prep as much as I can for the next day. I do that before I log out of work every single day. I'm like, okay, what did I not get done today? And what do I need to prioritize first thing in the in the morning, or let me look at my schedule or XYZ. So I at least am able to do that. So I can understand like prepping the trucks. But if you're prepping the trucks and you have a 5 30 p. like p.m. dinner reservation, or we have people coming over at 5 30.

SPEAKER_02 21:29

I feel like I do pretty good about that. If we have something on the spot that I have to be at a certain time, I'm not sure. Cody doesn't.

SPEAKER_01 21:37

Cody doesn't.

SPEAKER_00 21:38

No. It's horrible.

SPEAKER_01 21:40

And that drives you nuts because you are very much on time.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

I will, besides on Sunday, where I really didn't have a choice, I will not, thank you. I will not forget for context, Brady's sweeping her foot against the floor and Tyler just politely just touched her leg to remind her. Anyway, yeah, I have gotten to the point where I'm like, and I've I said that on the episode. I will just leave Cody. If I I I'll go to church by myself, I'll drive to church by myself.

SPEAKER_04 22:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:15

I'm not walking into church by myself. I mean, like, late. I would rather walk in by myself than late. Not that walking into church by yourself is bad, but still. You're just never on time. You and your whole family are never on time. You never learned that.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

No, I hate that.

SPEAKER_00 22:33

No, be on time.

SPEAKER_01 22:35

Okay, so speaking of that, what do you guys feel like? Or who do you think suffers more during the busy seasons? Wives or the husbands? Brady.

SPEAKER_02 22:46

You do.

SPEAKER_01 22:46

Why?

SPEAKER_02 22:47

Because I enjoy being out there, so it doesn't really suffering. I gotta work late. But you got two kids you gotta deal with, so that's more suffering on your part. Well, they're not like they don't make me suffer, but no, no, but it's harder time for you than it is for me, because it's for me.

SPEAKER_01 23:02

It's just tedious.

SPEAKER_02 23:03

Yeah, I mean it just feels like groundhog day every single night.

SPEAKER_00 23:07

Not necessarily. You can't send a five-year-old that has an 8 p.m. bedtime.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

Yeah, we're in a really weird season right now with the kids' ages. Like Taylon, she's just very she her attention span is very short.

SPEAKER_04 23:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

It's like the other day, what'd she go do with you? Did you work around or what'd you not the other day, a couple weeks ago? Yeah. And she did okay. Yeah. Branson's teeny tiny, so he'll just like sleep in the tractor come planting season. Yeah. When I go ride.

SPEAKER_00 23:38

I mean, don't give him that much.

SPEAKER_01 23:39

I mean, he's not teeny tiny that No, no, he's a chunker, but he's yeah. So yeah, I'm hoping I'm hoping as Talon's gets a little bit older, she looks forward and gets excited to go ride with dad. So that does alleviate my plight a little bit. But yeah, I mean, no, it's not suffering being at home with them. It's just and it's not them, it's more just the long days. Like it's extremely tedious. Right. Because Tyler coming home really breaks up the time. You know, he comes home at five and Talen really looks forward to seeing him and playing with him. And then that time I can get supper ready and kind of relax myself and cook and um, you know, take care of Branson's needs. Um, so when I don't have that, it's just like you're in fight or flight 24-7, like trying to get suffering. Yeah. But I don't want you to say it as suffering.

SPEAKER_03 24:24

She didn't want to admit you're right as right.

SPEAKER_01 24:26

Well, no, I don't want to decide I because I'm not suffering.

SPEAKER_00 24:28

It's not it's she's saying that she's very blessed to be able to watch the kids, but at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 24:35

It is, yes. Oh, ghost.

SPEAKER_03 24:38

What was that? It's just a spray.

SPEAKER_01 24:41

That's what about you guys?

SPEAKER_00 24:46

Do you think you suffer more or I suffer more during you? Why?

SPEAKER_03 24:50

Because I'm really home.

SPEAKER_00 24:52

You're rarely home?

SPEAKER_03 24:54

What have you been doing? Nice to see you. I don't know. Like you say, we don't really. We're both busy.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

I would say yeah, I mean, selfishly, I would say it's me.

SPEAKER_03 25:11

Any kids, I mean, yeah. But Max is kind of he likes to run around the farm, so it really don't matter to him.

SPEAKER_00 25:19

Yeah. I I mean, again, selfishly, I would say it's me, but it's because I have to take on a lot more than what's already busy season. Like harvest is wedding season.

SPEAKER_01 25:30

So that's your busy season.

SPEAKER_00 25:32

That's my busy season. April, May, depending on how the weather is, is maybe planting season.

SPEAKER_01 25:38

Hopefully, we're done planting by which so that's when you're gone more, so it would be nice to have that household help.

SPEAKER_00 25:44

But that's when he's and I that's also busy season with silk and slate, and so it's you know, graduation season, all of that stuff. So I mean it really just depends on everything, but the men always have it easier than the women. I don't think that.

SPEAKER_02 26:02

You just said that.

SPEAKER_01 26:04

No, for this topic, but I don't think for everything.

SPEAKER_02 26:07

That's true.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

I I would not want to be the provider. I would not. That gives me anxiety. Financial management gives me anxiety, and I'm really glad that you take that take on that role because I yeah, I don't want to do it, I wouldn't want to do it.

SPEAKER_00 26:26

And not that Cody doesn't pull his weight, but I honestly would rather be the financial person.

SPEAKER_03 26:32

And better, I mean, remember when I first started this whole deal, I mean, yeah, it was all I could take to keep everything rolling. Yeah. Snowballed.

SPEAKER_00 26:43

What do you think that us wives, mom or not? What do you guys roll your eyes about that we like complain about?

SPEAKER_01 26:56

Yeah, is there something we complain about that you're like how long is this podcast supposed to be?

SPEAKER_00 27:02

You that's a good thing. That's awful. Yeah, that's awesome. I was gonna say you list whatever, Tyler, because I got it. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 27:08

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

Uh now I gotta think.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

Do you know of one, Cody?

SPEAKER_00 27:14

Oh something you roll your eyes about? Or something that I complain about where you're like, it's really not that big of a deal.

SPEAKER_02 27:21

Maybe in five minutes after I said I was gonna be home.

SPEAKER_00 27:25

Consistently or just one time?

SPEAKER_02 27:29

Well, I am kind of consistent about that sometimes. But sometimes it's like, oh, I'll be home when I get done with this project. Well, the project to finish it takes five more minutes at night. I'm just gonna finish it, and then it's kinda like, oh, it's just five minutes, then I'll roll my eyes.

SPEAKER_01 27:46

But can I give you my opinion?

SPEAKER_02 27:48

Yeah, I'd like to hear.

SPEAKER_01 27:49

Why can't you get out of bed earlier when the kids aren't needing of you or I don't need your help? And go work on the said project. But yet you take time at the end of the day when I need the most help.

SPEAKER_02 28:04

Because this face needs beauty sleep.

SPEAKER_01 28:06

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 28:07

I hate coming up in the mornings. But probably because I don't know. Actually, it's because it's because Cody's gonna be late, so there's no sense.

SPEAKER_00 28:13

Okay, do not we there is no changing Cody. No changing Cody. You could not use Cody as an excuse here.

SPEAKER_02 28:20

But for instance, sometimes it's a two-person job, though. That is actually serious. I mean, sometimes you got two people you need to do the job.

SPEAKER_04 28:27

Right.

SPEAKER_02 28:27

And whether that's dad needing something done after five o'clock because Cody goes home, he's done for the day, somebody else has to stay here and help. Right. Then it's hey, it's a two-person project. I know it's gonna take take us five minutes to do it ourselves, but it might take one person an hour. I mean, it's not that I don't want to stay, I just have prior commitments at home. Well, that yeah, there's a difference with being an employee of the farm.

SPEAKER_01 28:52

I mean Oh, we've talked about that sometime, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:55

Nothing bad, but I mean you can't tell Cody, hey, w oh, we we need to do this for another two hours of your day. Thanks for volunteering for it. Yeah. I mean, it that that's not a good way to try to do that.

SPEAKER_01 29:06

Well, that's not part of your guys' farm.

SPEAKER_03 29:08

Yeah, no. I mean you guys are harvest that's like just keep rolling and rolling. Gotta keep going. The sooner we get down here, the sooner I get more time at home. I mean, that's kind of the way I look at it. No, it is.

SPEAKER_01 29:20

Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 29:21

I just that's probably one thing, I guess. But I go ears fan too.

SPEAKER_01 29:25

Yeah, I I just don't want to inconvenience you ever, so I really like working out and being healthy, and so I would rather get up at 5 30 in the morning when everybody's asleep and do that rather than wait till 5 to roll around, so then you have to watch the kids. So like I inconvenience myself. So I don't have to inconvenience you, so it'd be nice if you could return the favor.

SPEAKER_02 29:47

Yeah. Sometimes you start a project though at three o'clock in the afternoon, and then by the time you get it.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

But if you don't find Quentin time, then it's quentin time.

SPEAKER_02 29:56

That doesn't always work like that. So in my mind.

SPEAKER_01 30:02

Okay, but then in my mind, and how you can relate, then you're choosing to prioritize the farm over me.

unknown 30:07

Correct.

SPEAKER_00 30:09

Okay, and then if that's the case, because obviously we live farming, like that's we know that's gonna happen. The other thing is, is then communicate it. Because most of the time you don't communicate. No, it it you just don't show up until you show up.

SPEAKER_01 30:27

Or it's 5 30. Hey, giving you a call, I'll be home at five.

SPEAKER_00 30:30

No kidding. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:32

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 30:33

Kind of lost track of time, my bad.

SPEAKER_00 30:35

Oh, I won't get into it. Well, and like with Cody, with that, is he doesn't have cell reception half of the places that he goes down there. So if he doesn't answer, I I could get instantly pissed, and I'm like, okay, fine, I'll just leave. I'll just go do it. Yeah, well, I would feel you can't track him either.

SPEAKER_01 30:54

I mean, yeah, that's a bad feeling.

SPEAKER_00 30:56

And he's getting into a bad habit of leaving his phone. I mean, there's been mul multiple times like in the mornings.

SPEAKER_02 31:02

When the hear from you, or he doesn't want to hear from you.

SPEAKER_00 31:09

Because it's stuck at I usually don't call him during the day. He usually calls me.

SPEAKER_01 31:16

I think Tyler and Cody talk within like the first 30 minutes of being alive for the day.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

Well, and that's the thing is he leaves his phone at home sometimes when he and he leaves for work. He'll get to town and realize that he doesn't have his phone and have to turn back.

SPEAKER_03 31:31

He did do that a few weeks ago.

SPEAKER_00 31:33

And then he did it yesterday.

SPEAKER_03 31:34

He went over the hill and didn't even use the dress today.

SPEAKER_01 31:37

Oh, it that just it drives me nuts. I mean, I've I'm up at 5 30. We work out, work out, the kids' stuff's ready to go, so when they wake up, I can roll out. And this guy rolls out of bed at 7 15, gets dressed. Well, I think I'm gonna go to work now. Uh I've been up for the last two hours. Like.

SPEAKER_03 31:56

I'm not a morning person, also.

SPEAKER_01 31:58

Okay, wait, but you guys never answered. So, what's something Addy does that you secretly roll your eyes at?

SPEAKER_03 32:05

Probably getting you to not throw stuff away that shouldn't be thrown away at the farm. Oh that's probably the hardest thing.

SPEAKER_00 32:13

How many times have I asked you to put it away?

SPEAKER_01 32:16

Oh, I do that too.

SPEAKER_03 32:17

Or you stashed it.

SPEAKER_00 32:19

How many times have I asked you to put it away?

SPEAKER_03 32:21

Wouldn't it just be a lot easier?

SPEAKER_00 32:23

It's not besides the point. I will because we're teaching you. That's the thing, is if I asked you to put it away, I expect you to put it away. I will give you away. Yeah. And I'm like, I would throw away that stuff. And then it's like, well, where did you put this? Where it's supposed to be.

SPEAKER_01 32:39

Is it okay, wait, wait. Is it stuff? So, like, for instance, Tyler, he we have a little basket now by the door, so he can put his hat and his sunglasses and his wallet in it. Because used to, he had to put it in his room. Well, he couldn't make it there, right? So it ended up on the fireplace, which is why I said cubby is right by the door. But no, I start throwing away. You can't pick it up, so multiple times. Did you throw my wall in the trash? Yep, I did. Maybe next time you'll put it where it goes. Yeah. So are you the same way, or is it stuff that actually like maybe needs to be thrown away?

SPEAKER_00 33:09

If I would throw it away, I am taking it out as it's it's trash. It's been sitting in the same area. You have not touched it in a week, and I've been asking you to put it away. You're not putting it away. It's not worth it to you, so I'm throwing it away. No, it's let us come to your farm. That's fine.

SPEAKER_03 33:29

Okay, so we're gonna come as long as yeah, but it's like the shop. It gets dirty during your be busy seasons. Why does it get dirty? Because we don't have time to deal with it. When do we have time?

SPEAKER_00 33:38

But here's the thing is I am simple you know the folder that we put receipts in.

SPEAKER_03 33:44

Yeah. Where do you put the receipts? On the table, so you see them.

SPEAKER_00 33:48

Why do I need to see them? I see them when they're in the folder.

SPEAKER_03 33:52

I don't know. I guess I don't. That's just new this year within the last year.

SPEAKER_01 33:57

It's been a couple years ago.

SPEAKER_02 33:59

I was gonna say this is this is what happens around our house a lot. Brady likes to organize it. Oh, I know.

SPEAKER_04 34:04

Which is a good thing, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:05

It is. If you put something in one spot, it's been there for the last six months. Brady thinks, oh, we better reorganize it into a different spot.

SPEAKER_04 34:15

Okay, I like change a lot.

SPEAKER_02 34:17

And then uh three months down the road, Brady's like, where is that deal at? And I'm like, it was here for six months. We knew exactly where it was at, but you decided to reorganize it.

SPEAKER_01 34:26

I do do that. I'm sorry, I do do that. So that's a toxic trait of mine.

SPEAKER_02 34:32

Over here on the desk, it's like you know. Sometimes leaving it in one spot where you know where it's at is better than trying to re-home it somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 34:40

I'm gonna give you props for at least putting it in its respective home. 100% give you props for that. He, Cody, on the other hand, knows where to put it, but he won't put it there.

SPEAKER_02 34:56

But if Cody knows where it's at, it's safe. He doesn't know.

SPEAKER_00 34:58

No, but it's but it has a home. But it needs to go where it needs to go.

SPEAKER_01 35:03

He doesn't put all things in their home.

SPEAKER_00 35:04

Well, and that's the thing. It's like Cody will come home and he an equipment sale poster. Here's the poster, come look at this retirement sale, XYZ. It's been sitting on our table for over a month. He did go to the sale because it already happened, but he did go to it, but he never once looked at that poster. Bull. He it kept in that same exact area. If he was gonna look at the poster, he was pulling it up on his phone.

SPEAKER_03 35:32

I looked it up.

SPEAKER_00 35:34

He just said he looked it up.

SPEAKER_03 35:35

I looked at it on the table. Don't kid yourself when you weren't there. So then when I that's what you roll your eyes at? Is that what you're saying?

SPEAKER_00 35:43

No, that's what Cody rolled his eyes, but I will throw it away. And then it's like two months later, well, where did you put this? It's long gone. It's out in the burn pile at this point. Go dig it out if you really want it. I asked you to put it away.

SPEAKER_01 35:57

Okay, so my next question, think about this one because we're gonna roll it into episode four, part well, part four, episode 22, part four. What is something that your wife takes personally during busy season that she shouldn't?

SPEAKER_02 36:12

Everything.

SPEAKER_01 36:13

So oh, that's not true. Anyway, um, listeners, we'll see you in part four. Thanks for listening. Keep up with the chaos. See you next time.

SPEAKER_00 36:22

See you next time.

SPEAKER_01 36:27

They say a farmer's work is never done. Well, neither is ours. Come back next week for a new episode of Life Between the Rows.