Sack of Potatoes: The Spring Break Fail

This week, we’re ditching the "perfect vacation" narrative to recount the spring break outing that ended in a total tactical retreat. We get honest about the physical toll of being "touched out"—balancing a nursing baby and a clingy toddler while still trying to show up for a marriage. From the heartbreak of watching our independent kids fail to catching ourselves in moments of unnecessary judgment, we’re unpacking the messy reality of modern parenting. Grab a drink and join us as we admit that sometimes, parenting just looks like hauling a kid over your shoulder and getting the heck out of there.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Like when I catch myself being judge being judgy or judgmental, I'm like, do I actually care? Like it doesn't bother me. Like it doesn't make a difference to me in the slightest. So why do I even have a thought about it?

SPEAKER_01 0:11

So Brady, I have a question for you. What's it like when the corn is high but the chaos is higher? It's a lot of things, but it's never boring.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

This is the farm why files. Life between the rows. We're back and we're in our dungeon.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

Yes, we're not in the shop this time. It kind of feels nice to be back in our little room in our pants and our blankies. You can't see the sweatpants, but I wore sweatpants. I was getting dressed coming in, and I was like, I'm just gonna wear sweatpants. Usually I wear leggings or something like that, and I'm like, I'm just wearing sweatpants. I am just allergies are kicking my butt right now. I just want to be comfy.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

It's Sunday, and it's just Yes.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

And you come down and you're also kind of wearing like these like not sweatpants, but definitely very pajama pants. Loungey clothes, and I'm like, oh thank you. I'm not gonna look like a hobo.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

Yeah, I usually don't have allergies. Like growing up, I was never one of those kids that like Tyler struggled with asthma and different allergies when he was really little. I never had that, but now the older I get, like you can hear it. Like I'm just yeah, not I wouldn't even say congested, like I just have kind of like an itchy throat and have to blow my nose every once in a while.

SPEAKER_02 1:25

I'm horrible. I had to get like allergy shots. I still need to get allergy shots, and I just don't do it.

SPEAKER_00 1:30

And it's you have like all like itchy eyes, all the literally everything.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

Uh like everything. And it's it's just horrible.

SPEAKER_00 1:37

Okay, so how f like is it like all year round or is it?

SPEAKER_02 1:41

No, I mean definitely like spring is the worst. Yeah, and then bean dust, crop dust, all of that stuff during harvest sometimes gets me. Yeah. And I don't have asthma, thankfully, but oh just the I have to take two allergy pills just right away in the morning just to even like function. Like it's just it's horrible. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:03

Oh, yeah, not fun. Well, we love the heat, but yeah, I can do all the allergy seasons for the pollens and everything going on. But anyway, today we're talking about kind of spring break and how that was a little bit crazy, pants, and then that just puts us into more. We'll see where we go with this. But yeah, my family just went to Kansas City for a little getaway with the kids. Obviously, my kids aren't old enough to have like a quote unquote spring break, but my um sister was on spring break and we went with my family, so we just called it our spring break trip. And it was really great. Talon did awesome. We had something scheduled every single day, and then on let me think here, which mind you, she is just in a season of like testing everything.

SPEAKER_02 2:57

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_00 2:58

I mean last night. Like she's just wants to she craves independence so much. And so anything that you have to help her with, otherwise, I just know like this is gonna end in in a mess because you can't, like, you just physically can't do this on your own, but I have to like let her fail, which that's the worst part, is like having to watch her fail. And I know in my mind this is not gonna go well, but she wants to be independent, so I just have to let it happen.

SPEAKER_02 3:26

Yeah, I mean, and you're smart about it. You're not gonna let her get hurt or anything.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

No, it's more like she wants to pour milk into a cup, and I know have sure we'll try it, but then we're gonna have a meltdown because you're gonna get milk all everywhere but the cup. So yeah, we're just in a really like trying season right now. But anyway, we did the water park on Friday when we got there. Anything water outdoors, she's stoked about it. So that was I mean, we didn't have a nap that day because we were drove down there, but she did great there. And then Saturday we did, what did we do Saturday? Oh, we did the zoo, which tailed, like I said, outdoors and then animals. She was stoked about that. We did great there. And then Sunday, I was like, you know what, I'll just throw in the Science City, is it like museum or something there in Union Station.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 4:15

In Kansas City. Um, so I'm like, we're just gonna go there, and they have a lot of little activities, things to do, like it's this huge building. It'll be fun, great, yeah. So we're so bad. Oh my goodness. It j I just I know that she is the type of toddler, like if I tell her in advance, or like I tell her we're gonna do XYZ, it really helps her to like. I don't know if she just like has it in her head. I don't know why it helps so much, but just I guess kind of prepares her for it, and this was not something that she knew we were gonna do. And then also we get there, and there's like hundreds upon hundreds of people, very loud, very over-stimulating, and she did okay when we first got there, like she walked through everything, but she wouldn't like interact or play with any of the exhibits, I guess you would want to call them. And so yeah, she and then it just got to a point where like any little thing, like she kept leaving Tyler and I, or like straying away from us, and we had Branson in a seat, which we're trying to like, you know, tag team, so it'd be like one parent with her and then the other with Branson, and that worked fine, but she's kind of caught on to that, and so there's a lot of things where she like really craves Tyler and I's attention at the same time, because I think she knows that she can't get at the same time, so then that was kind of part of it, but yeah, it just got to a point where she was just like she was so upset, and I couldn't understand what she needed, so she's crying and like trying to tell me, and I'm just like, and so it just completely spiraled from there, and sh- I mean she is like I don't know how you say it when it you know when you're so upset, it's like like she couldn't even catch her breath. It was so bad, and everyone's staring, and I'm like, okay, we're trying to wean her from her binky, but I'm like, we need to self-soothe right now, like she just needs to regulate her emotions a little bit, and then we'll restart. I'm like, let's go to the bathroom. So we went to the bathroom, I gave her a binky, that did not even do it. We are just like out of breath, bawling, sobbing, screaming. Um, and so Tyler finally like is outside of the bathroom when we walk out, and he's like, he looks at me with like these like what are we gonna do eyes? And I'm like, pick her up, let's go.

SPEAKER_02 6:27

Like throw her over the shoulder, like we're kidnapping our own kid.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

Like, we can't parent at this point. Like I'm trying to like talk her down, get her off the ledge, like let's self-like, you know, regulate, whatever, and nothing was working. I think just like it was so overstimulating. She was so tired, she hadn't had a nap that whole trip. And yeah, like just the stairs. I'm like, please stop looking at me. I'm trying my hardest. Like, this is her first real public, like complete catastrophic meltdown. Right. So it was just like, I don't even call it humbling because it's like I don't really feel like I learned anything. We were just complete survival mode.

SPEAKER_02 7:07

Yeah. I mean it Whenever I see like a kid like having a complete meltdown in the middle of public, I honestly feel bad for the parent, not because oh, their their kid is crying or their kid is having a complete meltdown, but it's I know exactly what you were just saying. Like, everyone is staring and this is horrible, and I just need to get myself out of here. Yeah, I know there's people that obviously have those negative feelings and the negative thoughts of like, what did that parent do? And they're doing a horrible work.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

Still, it's just it doesn't it doesn't help it.

SPEAKER_02 7:43

I mean, you could be in the middle of church and that was us today, literally.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:48

Oh, I I just know that like from please know that from a person that doesn't have kids or even though it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. Well, I yeah, I or maybe it was, but you're like Acknowledge your feelings, acknowledge what happened, sure, lovely, great, but do know that I think a larger majority of the people are like, oh, I do not envy this person right now because I know how that felt or I know what she's thinking.

SPEAKER_00 8:15

Well, and I really need to work on like I'm so like I don't want to say I care what people think, but like I do like kind I want to uphold an image of like I am a good mom, like I do have it together, like I do plan and prep and organize, and we we have disciplines here and um we you know like she like she doesn't just get to rule the household. Right. And so it's hard when you're in a public setting and it's like a complete meltdown and I'm thinking like, oh, people are like they obviously don't parent or they're the gentle there's like that.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

Yeah, the gentle parenting. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

If you've met Taylon, like she's one of those kids, you just you could not gentle parent her. Like no. No, she just but I think each kid is different because we have spanked Taylon and she laughs at us. She's it's funny. Now, when she gets in trouble or she's doing something that we've asked her not to, I'll tell her to go to her room, and oh man, that like melts her. I don't know what it is, if it's like a disappointment thing, if it's a I don't know what it well, she has FOMO too, so I think yeah, it is just like an ultimate like broke her heart.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

I was gonna say she had major FOMO last night. Yes. And I I will wrap myself out here. Like I am the egg on of sh so Taylon was she was doing a lot of different things last night, and I was just like, Taylor, come on, run away from your parents. Come on, come with me, let's go.

SPEAKER_00 9:45

Well, I was trying to feed Branson and she wanted to go outside, and Tyler was finishing his supper, so I was like, Taylon, you have to wait for your dad so you can go outside. And Addie's on the patio. Come on, Taylon, come on. So Taylon's like looking outside and looking inside, looking outside. I'm like, no, don't do it.

SPEAKER_02 10:01

And then here I am saying, Come on, let's go, come on. Then she just makes a run for it, and it was fun.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

But which, if you're smart, you haven't had kids yet. Like you just freaking wait. My kids will be grown and you'll have kids, and I'll just be like, Oh, your kids are gonna babysit my care. Addie did XYZ with my kids, so I'm gonna do you guys, I'm gonna make you guys do this.

SPEAKER_02 10:24

Well, here's the thing that is I was gonna say that is the one thing that I would love to buy all of my friends, their kids, hamsters, but I know that it would be coming at me the other way, so I have not done that. So Yeah, that's nice. I do I do know that. I do not need something else to take care of.

SPEAKER_00 10:43

I thought the fish was gonna be fun, and that has just seemed to be Yeah. Like even cleaning his tank. It's just like never ending. It's just a it's a fish, and uh I am testing his pH of his water and he's got water strips, and I mean he's got a real plant in his aquarium.

SPEAKER_02 11:00

Oh, that's new.

SPEAKER_00 11:01

He's just like he's bougie fish, and I'm so bougie fish, love it. Yeah. So anyway, yeah, and then church this morning, you know, it just I actually got to sleep in a little bit, which I say sleep in because but I was still up every three hours. Like Branson just did not. He did not have a great night last night. And so got to sleep in like a tiny bit and then rolled out for church. Of course, we were a little late, which is not normally the case with us. Um, we're normally early because I cannot stand being late. I hate it. And then Taylor has to go get a snack from the little um oh some I'm on it too, but like three three different people will bring treats for church. So she has to go pick out a treat, and then we go sit down. Well, there weren't any seats where we usually sit because we were late, so we had to go up top, and like I could just see people looking at us, and I'm like, I just know because I've been that person to judge and like see people, families come in late and just be like, oh gosh, they're late again. Like, why don't you set your alarm a little bit earlier? And I'm like, and then the sermon really don't you just love it when you know the pastor starts preaching something and it totally like convey like convicts you like oh yeah, so it was like you know, we need to have mercy for people and just yeah, I was like, okay, I need to people don't really care.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

No.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

Like when I catch myself being judged being judgy or judgmental, I'm like, do I actually care? Like it doesn't bother me, like it doesn't make a difference to me in the slightest. So why do I even have a thought about it?

SPEAKER_02 12:26

Yeah. I think if everyone had that mindset about just our world's problems, too, yeah, the world would be a completely different place, but I know.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

Yeah. How did you choose our battles? Like, I know we say that with our friends all the time. Maybe we need to do that with like the real world. Like, is this really something I need to think about?

SPEAKER_02 12:44

Right. I'm going back to the whole like museum thing and just trying to calm uh like how did you end up calming Talon down?

SPEAKER_00 12:53

We didn't. She just screamed the rest of the car ride, or like Yeah, I mean we we got her out, so it's how you get in there, it's like a you have a big parking space and it's this huge building, and then you walk in and it's like I don't know, there's places to eat and some different I don't know, like not shops really, like just different outlets or different things, and then you keep walking down this almost like tunnel-like thing, and it takes you through this dinosaur museum, and then it opens up to the side, and that's like the science city, and has all the stuff that you can go through. So it's kind of a maze getting out of there, and maybe there's an easier way to get out. But that was the biggest thing was they had elevators, but you couldn't use them.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

It was like only for staff, which I'm like, what if there's like someone that's handicapped? Maybe they open them up for them, I'm not sure. So we had the donut.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 13:46

And which is fine, like the donuts great for push them around and not having to get the stroller out, but it's 30 pounds. Yeah, I think. So, you know, like they had some twisty stairs, so we walked around the whole bottom part like twice as she's crying, screaming, and it that's what made it so much worse. Cause like we're trying to figure out how to get out of here, we can't figure out how to leave. So finally, I just am like, screw it. So I folded up the donut with the baby in it, and Grammy's 15 pounds, so it's like 45 pounds, and I carried him up like probably four flights of stairs. Yeah. And I was like, not well at the end.

SPEAKER_02 14:20

I was more like huffing and puffing, but you're like, just I don't care.

SPEAKER_00 14:23

We have to get out of here. Tyler's got Taylor and so we ended up getting out, and she's still crying, but she wasn't screaming like she was. Um, and then we got into the car, and that's the other thing. We don't do, I mean, we do we probably do daily screen time, but it is not in excess. Um, like it's maybe 10 minutes here, 30 minutes here. Like, it just kind of depends what we're doing. It's a lot more in the winter, and then when she broke her collarbone, she honestly was having like very, very little screen time, and then we broke our collarbone, and they're not supposed to move.

SPEAKER_02 14:55

I mean, you might as well stick them in front of yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:57

Yeah, I mean, because she would try to move and try to play, and then she'd hurt herself. Right. So I'm like, okay, so that really set us back as far as screen time, and then just winter time, you know, you're stuck inside, so we do a lot of Pandora, that's that helps. But when we go on trips, she knows she gets the iPad, she doesn't get to touch it, she doesn't get to click it or play games, but she gets to watch a movie or a show. But even at that, even though she doesn't have control, I think just the blue screen and some of the overstimulation like adds on to already being away from routine and home, going and doing all this new stuff with a lot of people. So when we got to the car and she had kind of calmed down, she wanted the iPad, and we're like, no, no more stimulation, like we're cold turkey girlfriend, like you're so Yeah, yeah, it just we need a break from everything that stimulates us. And so then again, we restarted the fit. And but then we had plans, you know, the in the next two hours to go to the trampoline park. So it's like it's really hard to parent because at her age, it's like you've just had this complete fit, and I don't feel like it's not because she wanted to or because she wanted to be bad. I truly believe it's like complete overstimulation. But then it's like we're gonna turn around and throw you in a trampoline park.

SPEAKER_02 16:14

And overstimulate you even more.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

Right, but it's like, do do we ruin everybody else's plans? Like, I didn't really know how to go about it, so I just told Child I'm like, let's just go and we'll see. Like, if it's too much, we'll pull her out. It's fine. We had to go eat first, so we went to Chili's and thing I was kinda nervous, there's like nobody there, so I'm like, this is probably gonna get food poisoning or something.

SPEAKER_02 16:33

Oh no, of course that's where your brain goes. Like that's not where mine just went, but okay. Like, oh, is it closed? Like, if no one was there.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

Well, we thought there was a sign on the door. So before we got out, I'm like, Tyler, go look. And it said use the other door. So he goes to park and moved the car. I'm like, why are you going to the other side of the building? He's like, it said use the other door. So we go in this like ratchet weird side door. Ratchet weird. It was on and we walk around the whole inside of the place, get sat down, and then my sister and brother and their spouses, or I guess he's my brother's not married, but I'm assuming they will be at some point. Significant others, they came and joined us, and they're all walking through the front door. And I'm like, Tyler, and he's like, it must have just been the one side door and the Oh Tyler. I'm like, come on, it's fine, it's fine. And of course, that's when it got really cold Sundays. Oh yeah, so it wasn't like nice out at all, but anyway, so I picked chilies because it was close, and I know they have a really awesome like kids' menu and food. Right. And maybe other places do, but that was just like the first thing on my mind. I saw chilies, I'm like, perfect. So we got her sat down and got some colors, and she got to pick her food, and she did a lot better. We regrouped and yeah, she was like herself, and it was it was better. So then we went to trampoline park and she did really, really good. She did not want to leave, but did uh much better. We did not have a whole um a whole like theater setting meltdown. So that was nice. Good. And then we went to the Airbnb and she went to bed really well, and then we went home the next day. But and then getting home, of course, was a thing in itself because she didn't want to come home, which kind of surprised me. I thought she would want to, but she was not thrilled. She kept asking, where are we going? Home, meltdown on the way from like Brownville to here. And then Tyler went back to work like 30 minutes after we got home.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 18:39

So being with dad for five days in a row, and then she woke up from nap and dad was not there.

SPEAKER_02 18:48

Yeah, and this is just a tough time too for Tyler to be gone that long. And so, you know, good for Tyler for making the time to do that.

SPEAKER_00 18:56

I know, yeah, and he always gets mad at me, but I'm like, I cannot plan when everybody else's spring break is. No. I guess we could just go by ourselves, but I don't know. I mean, granted, I did tell him to get the liquid machine out earlier, and he did it, so that's kind of on him.

SPEAKER_02 19:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

But anyway, we got liquid done and that's all that's completed. So I know that's off his plate, which is nice. But yeah, I mean, we're just in this right now, we're in this season where um, and I talked about this on the podcast, it's gonna be interesting with Taylor, because she fully comprehends that dad is gone and working.

SPEAKER_02 19:30

Right.

SPEAKER_00 19:30

And he's not home. Last year she did not, she couldn't comprehend, like she knew dad was gone, but it was kind of like a two-second, oh daddy's not here, on to the next thing. Right. Right now, she like fully comprehends and like misses him and wants to be with him. So, yeah, after being with him for five days, it was rough, but then her and I getting back in our routine was really nice, and we just do great when we're in a routine.

SPEAKER_02 19:56

Yeah, not over stimulated with all the things.

SPEAKER_00 19:59

But yeah, we'll see. I keep telling her, you know, daddy has to work, daddy has to farm, he's gonna start planting, he's not gonna be around. Um, like kind of prepping her, so we'll see. But I think that's gonna be a challenge in itself when you know days go by and she doesn't see her dad. Unless she's sitting in the tractor with him.

SPEAKER_02 20:17

Do you f um I'm gonna kind of switch gears, but also still not we talk about being in a routine and consistently doing the same things or having the same like mentality of right, schedule of doing stuff. Do you feel like sometimes that creates ourselves or even the children or the people around us to feel like we're robots?

SPEAKER_00 20:43

Yeah. Yeah, like I find myself and a friend of ours just last night at Book Club get together, uh, made the comment about, yeah, our daughter, she's missed all of her like she hasn't slept good all day. We've just been out and about, but we had to like tell ourselves, like, we have to have a life too. Like, we can't just live our lives around her schedule, which is so true, but like you have to find a happy medium. So, like, we were only supposed to stay until Monday in Kansas City, but then we got all that bad weather and Tyler wasn't gonna be doing anything. Obviously, there's always something to do on the farm, but as far as field work, he wasn't gonna be on the field, so we're like, we'll stay another day, and then I caught myself. I'm like, as overstimulated and like out of routine as we've been, we probably should have just came home. But I'm like, all of my family wanted to stay another night, like it's they're that's not we don't get to see them a lot, um, or stay with them where they get to have like that one-on-one connection time with the kids. So yeah, I don't know what the right thing to do was. I mean, we had a good time, it was fun, we came home and everybody's back in their routine, everything's fine now.

SPEAKER_01 21:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

But it's like, yeah, when do you how do you draw the line of okay, we have routines and we have structure, but we're not like just living the same like groundhog day over. Over and over again, and it becomes like this mundane tedious task almost.

SPEAKER_02 22:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:08

Well, that's probably I mean, you probably relate to that a lot.

SPEAKER_02 22:11

Just working from home and I don't necessarily like there's definitely t times where I need the structure and I need to do like, okay, I get up, I do my morning routine, I get myself a cup of coffee. Like I I have those same things. And it's not that I feel like a robot in that situation. Yeah. But when you look at it from a day-to-day perspective, Mondays I do this, Tuesdays I do this, Wednesdays I do this, XYZ, and I don't break it up, that's when I feel like I'm being disconnected from the world. Yes. Or even myself. Like I get in this like habit of I just have to do it because it's scheduled and I I have already committed to doing it and this is what I'm gonna do. And then it's like, do I really want to do that? Or do I really need to do it?

SPEAKER_00 23:10

So I feel like oftentimes we put ourselves out to please other people.

SPEAKER_02 23:16

Yeah, and it it that's where I'm just in that weird, not weird. It's a really good phase of my life of just trying to figure that all out. Figure out what truly I want to be spending my time on because I finally have realized like time is very valuable. Right. And so it it comes down to No, good for you.

SPEAKER_00 23:35

And honestly, like the people may say, Oh, it's just an event, like go to it, but sometimes things can be draining. Well, it's and like I don't want to get home from something and just be like, I don't want to do anything else because that was really awful.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

And I mean, I just we before we started put we're pushed record, we were talking about just some events that are coming up in the future, and and I said the day that I don't or that the day that I start dreading going to these events, I've always looked forward to some of these events and looking forward and it's like, oh, I have this scheduled and I just have to get through one more week, and whether that week was horrible or not, like I I just I I do look forward to some of these things, and I said the day that I do not look forward to that like you're almost dreading going to it. That's the day that I'm just gonna say no. And you know, and which good for you.

SPEAKER_00 24:24

Yeah, and I Because Addie two years ago, you never would have said that.

SPEAKER_02 24:28

Oh gosh, no.

SPEAKER_00 24:28

And maybe even a year ago.

SPEAKER_02 24:30

I was gonna say, maybe even today. I don't know if I would say no or yes or whatever. But I do think that I'm getting to that point where I'm just I'm starting to like really realize like it may be the event itself, it may be the people. It's typically the people that are there that I'm just like, no, I why am I taking the time to go to these events when I could be reading a book? We just talked about how we have it just sat and read a book. Or this morning, for example, horrible, but Cody and I were like, I didn't feel good waking up, and I was just like, all I want to do this morning is just clean my house. Yeah, get the dirt off of the floor, get laundry started, fold it, like that's all I want. And so I just looked at Cody. I'm like, I've been asking for help. Can you please just stay one frickin' morning and just help me? And how did that go? Yeah, he he I was going around the house, putting things away, cleaning, and he was just in the bedroom folding clothes, which Oh good, that's nice though. Yeah, and he he was just like, Stop bringing me extra laundry baskets. And I was just like, Well, we've had these laundry baskets. There was no like complaining.

SPEAKER_00 25:42

He I think he knew I think sometimes as spouses we need that because I mean, even just yesterday, like both kids were actually asleep, which that has it's finally getting to be more of a common theme in in the afternoon, which has been so nice. I've a couple days ago they both slept for 45 minutes at the same time. So that felt like I mean You were a free woman. Yeah, it's crazy. But yesterday, Tyler's like, Well, I'm gonna go watch the game to do March Madness is going on right now. So he's very much into basketball, which normally he's we're not big basketball fans. But he's like, Or or what do you want? Like, do you want me to sit in here with you while you get ready, or what do you want? And I'm like, Can you just stay? Yeah, I just want your presence. Like, I just want to be near you.

SPEAKER_02 26:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

And he's like, Okay, I'll come sit. And it was just nice. We didn't really talk, we just like sat in each other's presence without the kids.

SPEAKER_02 26:29

Right. Which was which you wouldn't think would be like this big deal, but it was nice to just like have quiet and be around him and well, you made the comment yesterday at book club where you said, I just want one solid minute, hour, day, week, whatever that looks like, of just not being touched or needed or by someone. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:53

Somebody just always needs something, and unfortunately, like that's Tyler too.

SPEAKER_02 26:57

And that's what I said. I said, you know, selfishly, we would all want that. Branson obviously needs you to survive your breastfeeding, so that's that's a thing, obviously. Taylin needs you for your mental like just life in general. Yeah. Yeah, and abor or just like needs of doing things around the house. I mean, there's not it's doesn't even have to be that way, but it's just like, can I?

unknown 27:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:25

And maybe that's I know Taylin wasn't in that like mindset because she just doesn't think that way. But you know, it goes back to just being robot overstimulated. You just get into the thing of like, I just have to do it, I'm doing it, I'm doing it, and then you get to that breaking point.

SPEAKER_00 27:42

I'm horrible about that. Yeah. Like I just go go, like, I'm just so in mom mode, wife mode. Especially, I'm really, really bad when Tyler is in busy season because I don't want to be a burden or a bother to him. So I'm just like dig. I'm like, we just gotta get through. He's already got a lot on his plate. I have to remind myself too, like, I have busy seasons too. I just had another baby. Right. And Tyler, he's awesome, he has been awesome. But, and this is something him and I have talked about, he does really well when I'm like physically down, if that makes sense. Like I had just had a baby, and so I needed to heal, and like I couldn't physically like keep up with Talon. And so he's like my rock. He did awesome. I mean, he fed me, he made me food, he took care of the house, he took care of Talon, which is super great. But then when I started to get better and I didn't physically need him, and I could physically chase Talon around, and I was kind of getting the hang of having two kids, he left.

unknown 28:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:39

He was on the farm again. And it's like, okay, that I've really appreciated your time, but like it'd be nice if you could just like kind of like dwindle down, like still be around and be helpful without me having to ask. So we're still trying to figure that out, but also but that and so that's why I'm trying to remind myself. Like, I'm allowed to maybe not be super okay and not be super woman woman during his BC busy season too. You know, like as as a spouse, he could, and I told him this, like, why can't like you know, if you I I get your planting and you can't be home and can't be helpful, but maybe that's calling your mom and say, hey, would you go sit with the kids so Brady could go get her nails done for you know an hour or so? Just things like that to get me out of that mundane routine.

SPEAKER_01 29:21

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 29:22

And yeah. So then I feel like I can get back into like the mom mode, the schedule, the the plans, the organizing.

SPEAKER_02 29:31

Right. There was an episode that we talked about like tucking ourselves in. Giving us Yeah, this really relates to that. Yeah, and so you know, what are what are we both doing to tuck our own selves in? And I I think it varies day to day. There's some days where I'm just like, I just need to sit in silence and I just need a cup of hot chocolate, coffee, whatever time of day it is. I or I just want to sit and read a book. I just need to sit outside and listen to the birds chirp. Whatever the case is, like I'm doing something for myself and some sort of refresher. Yes, and I would love for it to happen every day, but realistically that's not the case. And I uh I think I just need to start being a little bit more mindful of that as I go through my what I consider my robot day or week or month or whatever, just because if I just take that little bit of time to tuck myself in, that ritual of you know doing XYZ, maybe that would help with just my overall life. I I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 30:37

Well, and I think something that I'm trying to like reverse in my brain too, and this goes two different ways, but you know, like with the Kansas City trip and Taylor having a whole meltdown, I really worked on like just because we've had this bad instance doesn't mean doesn't mean it needs to turn into a whole bad day. Right. Like she's a child, she's going to have really big emotions, like she's going to test the boundaries right now. That's her job. She's supposed to. And I tell everybody parenting a strong-willed child is super, super hard, but I know that she is gonna make for a great woman one day.

SPEAKER_02 31:07

Oh yes.

SPEAKER_00 31:09

So I just gotta keep on, keeping on.

SPEAKER_02 31:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:12

But then same with like as far as like quote unquote tucking ourselves in. I'm reminding myself that, and this is this so comes from social media and just comparison, but I saw this social media post quite a while ago, and it was like, as a wife, you should not have to ask your husband of a shower, or like, it's not a treat. Basic hygiene isn't a treat. And so I let that like really sink into my brain and like really tell myself, I shouldn't have to, like, I shouldn't look forward to showering. Like, and that really made me look at my husband in a bad light, because why do you not have to ask to go get a shower? But instead, I'm like, I that's something I enjoy. Like taking an everything shower and like having a nice, like some sort of treat drink, and then like shaving and lotioning and like you know, just all the things, like that is a treat to me. That's something I enjoy. So why am I letting comparison and social media tell me that that what I that that I shouldn't like that? Well, or does that make sense?

SPEAKER_02 32:10

That's not a treat. That's just you just need to do that to and yes, I a hundred percent agree, but at the same time, it's you know, obviously different between Cody and I and you and Yes. Tyler, but and please correct me if I'm wrong, but as a stay-at-home mom, you just know that you're not gonna be able to just like drop the kids in the middle of the living room and just go do a shower like Tyler could, right? And but you have to have the communication of Tyler, I really just want to go shower because these allergies are killing me, or uh there's something that's really overstimulating me and I just need to go wash it off, whatever the case is. It would be your responsibility to say, Tyler, can you watch the kids? Because you know that you can't just up and leave them. And there's a pro and a con to whatever job or role that we're in.

SPEAKER_00 33:02

Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 33:03

And that might be a con, sure.

SPEAKER_00 33:06

I mean, like I couldn't even imagine with like just coming back to like our roles of like careers. Um, but I love just being able to get up and go.

SPEAKER_02 33:14

Right.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

Like you I mean, you can, but I mean you're kind of glued to your computer when you're in the middle of the day or like you have a meeting, like Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:22

And I uh the company that I work for is great. Like they are very much in this transformative period of like mental health is a thing, like you know, take time off when you need to take time off, all of that stuff. But you know, if I have an extra hour in my day, I have no like I am I I block it. If I just when like okay, I'm actually gonna take a lunch today and I'm gonna go sit outside. I block it in my calendar and there's no like questions about it. Like, and that's that's good. But yeah, I couldn't just be like Cody couldn't call me and say, I really need a part in Beatrice. Okay, well, that's an hour drive for me practically, all the way to Beatrice. I can't leave until 4 30, 5 o'clock. Right. So I'm not gonna get there. So you need to call back to make sure that they leave it in the drop-in or you know something like that. Yeah, I couldn't.

SPEAKER_00 34:10

Yeah, there's just pros and cons, and everybody's life is so different.

SPEAKER_02 34:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:15

I but back, yeah, back to the sermon of church today of just having mercy for other people. Right. We don't live their lives, so we just need to focus on ourselves and remind ourselves, and well hope that not everybody's judging us when we're having a bad day or a bad time.

SPEAKER_02 34:32

Yes, 100%.

SPEAKER_00 34:35

I think this is kind of wraps up this episode, but this is kind of like here, there, everywhere, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 34:40

But we hope that it provided some clarity to someone, some relatability.

SPEAKER_00 34:46

I mean, I'm sure there's a lot of moms out there that have had if your toddler has had bigger meltdowns or you've had just a complete shit show of a time, please comment it. Let us know. So we don't feel so alone. But anyway, have a good day. We'll see you next time.

SPEAKER_02 35:01

See you next time.

SPEAKER_01 35:06

They say a farmer's work is never done. Well, neither is ours. Come back next week for a new episode of Life Between the Rows.