All the “Labels” & Supporting the Farm Without Sinking Yourself

How much of your own life are you expected to set aside to absorb the stress of the farm? In this episode, we’re getting honest about the "backburner" life. We talk about the pressure to drop your own projects, career, or sanity the second things get heavy in the field, and how to find the line between being a supportive partner and completely burning out.

We also look at the labels we’re seeing everywhere lately—Crunchy, Silky, and Granola—and whether trying to fit into these boxes makes our lives easier or just adds more weight to an already full plate.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

So is that like when I say that I'll drop anything to relieve Tyler's stress, like where's the line of completely burning myself, but also like being his wife and like that's my role?

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:14

You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

So Brady, I have a question for you.

SPEAKER_03 0:17

What's it like when the corn is high but the chaos is higher? It's a lot of things, but it's never boring. This is the Farm Wife Files. Life between the rows.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Welcome back.

SPEAKER_03 0:32

Hi guys. Yay. We were just laughing to ourselves because we just took a quick little quiz before we got into this episode. I recently just kind of stumbled onto the whole like lifestyle vibes and like crunchy or scrunchy or silky, whatever type of person you are. So we were reading through these and I kept telling Adam, I'm like, I'm every one of them. Like literally every I I check every single one of these, at least a little bit of them. So anyway, we did these quizzes and I it says I am well okay. First, just so you guys can live vicariously through us, I'll tell you what the personalities, like vibes are. So you have crunchy, that would be natural living, low tox, holistic health, cloth diapers, home birth, organic food, sourdough. Think minimal chemicals, but more old ways. Scrunchy is somewhere in the middle of that. Might use clean products, but not strict. Might do organic food and occasional Chick-fil-A, realistic balance category. Most people fall into. Silky is pro-modern medicine, convenience focused, loves efficiency, schedules, and structure. Granola, similar to crunchy, but more outdoorsy. I just love the granola. Whatever. Hiking, homesteading vibes, thrifted clothes, big on sustainability in nature. Homesteader, growing food, raising animals, DIY everything, canning, sourdough, self-sufficiency, often overlaps with crunchy and granola. Bougie Aesthetic Mom. I don't know why it started adding mom because these other ones were not. But anyway, bougie and aesthetic loves curated, pretty lifestyle, neutral tones, matching outfits, clean home look, high-end baby gear, coffee runs, aesthetic routines, research, deep dives everything, reads studies, compares products, questions everything. Can be crunchy or silky, just very informed and opinionated. Convenience prioritizes what's easy and works, target pickups, quick meals, less about ideology, more about survival, attachment or gentle parenting, baby wearing, responsive parenting, focuses on emotional connection, co-sleeping, etc. Often overlaps with crunchy or scrunchy. Structured routine, sleep schedules, routines, consistency, baby-wise type structure, planning ahead, often overlaps with silky. Okay, so there's those. So then we took these quizzes, and my vibe breakdown is I'm primarily crunchy, leaning scrunchy, secondary research with a touch of structured. So it says I lean natural when it matters, food products, probably baby stuff, but I'm not blindly trusting everything mainstream, and I'm thinking more long-term health. Scrunchy balance, not extreme. You'll flex when needed, you're realistic. This is key. You're not making your life harder just to be pure. You're willing to mix approaches instead of going all in on one ideology. Research-driven mindset, you question everything. Your birth control IVF- Oh, this that was from a question I asked her earlier. Um, you likely Google, compare, and think before deciding. Structure but not rigid. You appreciate routine systems when they work. Yeah, so basically that I would say that.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

I was gonna say like the gist of it. You've literally hit a portion of every single one of those categories, I would say.

SPEAKER_03 3:55

Yeah, I do. Yeah. Just depends what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_01 3:58

Yeah, and you're probably the same. Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 4:01

Yeah, yeah. In different ways.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

Yeah. Uh when I I took mine and it didn't really give me like a breakdown between like the scrunchie and granola and stuff like that. I like what it gave you though. Yours is. Yeah, mine is the modern homestead intellectual. And it just pretty much says like you have to read though, because it's literally you. Yeah, so it gives me like a breakdown of there's a core of the crunchy side. You're not just buying things, you're growing them and making them, and you like you value that process. But it says, so then it goes through and it tells me XYZ, like I love wearing sweatpants and because there's like that uniform, whatever. But then it says the vibe, it's a high speed a high speed brain with a low tox lifestyle, which I'm the first person to like really not care about toxic. So I don't know. Give me whatever works and whatever works the fastest. I don't care if I'm breathing in bleach fumes. Literally, like I just give me something that's gonna work fast. So but I also appreciate like growing things and like more of like natural approach. Yeah, yeah. Um, the mot this one just uh cracks me up, but it says the motto I have a spreadsheet for the tomato garden.

SPEAKER_02 5:10

Yeah, literally. Um calling you out.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

I was gonna say, I cannot say that I don't have one because I do. The crunchy level is a 7.5 out of 10. It says that you use essential oils, but you still believe in the value of high-speed Wi-Fi in 2000 clubs bangers.

SPEAKER_03 5:27

Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 5:28

You're right. I sure do.

SPEAKER_03 5:31

Oh, that was kind of fun. So just funny.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

Yeah, I love it.

SPEAKER_03 5:35

Speaking of tomato garden though, do you have you started anything for gardening season?

SPEAKER_01 5:40

I have planted a few little seeds outside. Have you? Yep, but I haven't. I'm just kind of like experimenting with those right now. And then I I was honestly thinking on the drive up here, I'm like, maybe tomorrow I'll go till up one of, or like not till up, but like really get the soil loosened. I know. Because I want to try onions this year, and I haven't really had good luck in the future. Like past.

SPEAKER_03 6:02

Yeah, I've thought about that too.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:05

I'm adding snap peas. Oh, yeah. Because Taylon like freaking raided your garden last year. She loved them.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

And same like all the little toppings.

SPEAKER_03 6:13

All the kids love them. So I'm adding those. Um, and then all winter Taylon's asked me where the tomatoes are. And I'm like, she's just not comprehending that they don't grow when it's cold. Yeah. So we're excited to do those again. Yeah, I have a whole list. I'm gonna do like some other it's nice to have like the just like she can go out and grab them and eat them as far as like the cherry tomatoes and the snap peas.

SPEAKER_01 6:33

Yeah, I'm gonna do less tomatoes this year, but I am still obsessed with my green peppers because you can just chop them up and put them in the freezer and just be done with them. Um, and then yeah, the I'm gonna do more green beans this year, and then the sugar snap peas will 100% be a staple. Same with cucumbers. I love cucumbers. And then I'll do some more puppy.

SPEAKER_03 6:53

It's so nice to like go to a get together in the summer and you have to make something, you just run out to the garden and grab a cucumber to do like a pasta salad and throw it in there.

SPEAKER_01 7:02

Like there's just something so like I was gonna say, I'm the cucumber salad girly. Like, give me all the cucumber salads.

SPEAKER_03 7:10

Uh yeah, I'm looking forward to that season.

SPEAKER_01 7:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:12

Uh just going out and growing things.

SPEAKER_01 7:14

Aaron and I were literally just talking about that yesterday. We're like, we cannot wait to just start our garden.

SPEAKER_03 7:18

This year I'm actually gonna order some like nice strawberry plants.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

I never have good luck with strawberry plants.

SPEAKER_03 7:25

Me either, but I always buy them like and then I read that there's two different kinds. If anybody out there is like a big strawberry gal person, farmer, please comment and tell us what we need to do because I know the research I did there's two different kinds.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

There's like everbearing.

SPEAKER_03 7:41

Yeah, and I think those maybe do better like the more you let them grow each year. Yeah. But anyway, besides the point, that's my goal for this year is to have like a really good strawberry plant.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

Yep, I will live my life through you. That's fine.

SPEAKER_03 7:55

I I'll I'll figure it out, and then you can and then I'll give you the tips for this.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

You can just come do my zinnias because I'm gonna so many.

SPEAKER_03 8:03

I'll give you strawberries, you give me zinnias.

SPEAKER_01 8:05

Yeah, have so many zinnias. That sounds good.

SPEAKER_03 8:07

Anywho, yes, back to what we're supposed to be talking about. Just like the different labels we have.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

Yeah, we do. We talk about this like uh hit or miss throughout just kind of our whole podcast, and that's kind of what we Yeah, I mean this is kind of our theme. Yeah, I I like that we have different labels in our lives and we look at life in a different way. But we right before we pushed record, we were starting to talk about or you said, I don't know how you're gonna feel about what I'm just about to say, but Oh yeah. Like this is my outlook on you know this thing that we were talking about. And we were talking about just like roles as spouses. Yeah, like what should the man be responsible for doing? And I ultimately was just like, no, Brady, I I agree with you. Um we were talking uh like one of the situations that maybe not have related back to what we were just talking about, but right.

SPEAKER_03 9:02

We were basically just saying, like, you know, I we feel like or I feel like a man should be the provider, regardless of and this is coming from someone who I mean I stay at home, so I don't provide. I mean, yes, I had my candle business and I like did very briefly and a little bit, but like I mean, from like very early on, that was just something that Tyler knew and that I expected of him. Like when we were going to have children, I would not have them until I was able to stay at home with them. And that was not something that he I I honestly because it was in the very beginning of our relationship, I really thought it would like kind of make him shy away, but I didn't realize that his mom stayed at home with them throughout their childhood. So it was something that he wasn't even shocked about. I mean, he was very much, yep, that I wouldn't want you to do anything else. Right. But just like looking at other people's lives and careers and families, I don't know. I just feel like if your wife wants to be a stay-at-home mom, I just I do. I feel like it's your job to provide and make that happen.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

Yeah, and I I that's when I said, Brady, I agree with you. I said, if I went to Cody and I said that I would want to be a stay-at-home mom or be stay-at-home, Cody wouldn't first say, Okay, let me do it. He would say, Let me check you into a mental hospital. Yeah, literally.

SPEAKER_03 10:20

But you know But then after that fact, he'd be like, Okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

And that's and you know, at the end of the day, that was something that I, you know, we closed that conversation out by saying, It's those are those important questions that you should ask before having kids, and those are the important questions that you should ask before truly getting into like a more like serious like relationship, marriage, all of that type of thing.

SPEAKER_03 10:43

I feel like it's things you have to ask yourself too, right? And be like completely bluntly honest with yourself, like okay, maybe right now this is not something I could for foresee for myself, but what about in five, ten years? Right, especially those of us in the friend group or like even people I know, you know, not even in the friend group, just a rural area. I feel like people are together at a younger age than other places.

SPEAKER_01 11:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:07

Like, I feel like it's very common to be like high school sweethearts or go to college, find the one in your very early, like, well, even probably late teens, early twenties, and stay with that person and marry them and be with them forever. Like, I just feel like some of those, well, even like the episode, I mean, just talking about labels, like I feel like I've grown into the label I have now. Um, like me back in college drinking jungle juice that some people made, probably mixed it with our bare hands. And I just thought it was a good, great, wonderful time. And now here I am, like, how I don't touch that bunny rabbit, Taylor.

SPEAKER_02 11:45

Literally, yeah. Bunny rabbit.

SPEAKER_03 11:47

You say, you see what I mean? Like the person I was when Tyler first got with me and we started a relationship is completely different.

SPEAKER_01 11:55

And I think that's the only res I don't know if there's like the respectful way or the it's the the only way that you should be able to look at those things of when I'm 18 years old, would I have said that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom? I still would have said no. Now, me 27, do I stay say the same thing? Yes, absolutely. Has my outlook changed on certain other things that I may have answered differently? Absolutely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:28

And so uh whether that changes because of the life events or that changes because of the experiences that we go through, whatever the case is, I think that's important to call out and at least acknowledge that it's okay to not have all the questions and the answers and well, and I do feel like from my um perspective about our podcast, something that's super refreshing for me is and why we wanted to start this, having such different backgrounds and just like careers now. We're both farm wives and we both can have the guilt over the farm or want to like, you know, there's certain like roles we want to fill as far as being a farm wife, but I like that we are so diversified as far as like I am a stay-at-home, you know, wife and mom, and you do have a full career, and so we can really like have that relatability in our conversations for other people listening. Just because you have a full-time job doesn't mean you can't fill the stereotype of being a farm wife. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Just because I'm a stay-at-home mom doesn't mean I'm doing a better job as a farm wife because you have a full-time job, and that's why I like how different our lives are, so that listeners or people that listen to our podcast can be like, yeah, I can relate more with Addy because I have a full-time job, and look how her and her husband are doing with their farm. Or, yep, I stay at home with the kids like Brady does. Like, it's just refreshing to know that there's two completely different ends of the spectrum, but we're both farm wives. Right.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

I think we started the conversation about like crunchy mom, and you know, everyone, whenever one person hears or this group of people hear this one label, they already have this pre-conceived connotation that comes to their head. And so when I hear the word farm wife or a friend hears the word farm wife or something, we always get to the point where, okay, they're taking care of the chickens, they're making the sourdough, they have the garden, they're they're wearing the aprons, they're you know, they're wrangling the toddlers and that isn't always the case. And I think you can still have a label, and I don't like putting labels on people, so that's not my intention with us having this conversation.

SPEAKER_03 14:43

I think it's just easier for us to see putting labels, but well, and I think we're more like getting a kick out of the different labels and how they're categorized, right?

SPEAKER_01 14:53

But when we say I have a label and I'm proud to have the label of farm wife, I'm proud to have the label as a corporate g girly, whatever label that we're gonna stick on, it I don't necessarily think that everyone you have to fit the world's connotation or the world's perception of that label. Like you could have the traditional farm wife, like I said, the sourdough, the chickens, the aprons, the garden, all of that stuff, but you could also have that modern farm wife.

SPEAKER_03 15:23

Oh, for sure. I mean, even as a stay-at-home mom, like sometimes I catch myself being a little bit like, oh, I hope people aren't judging me because I am not like your typical, oh, you stay at home with the kids, so you're home all the time. I'm rarely ever home. Yeah. Like we are always out doing something. We're out at the farm, we're riding with Tyler, we're up in Lincoln, we are at the park, we are at a one out of the ten moms groups I'm in. Um, we're doing a church event. Like, I uh I I'm busy. I we're I may be a stay-at-home mom, but we are go go go all the time. And I just and sometimes I'm like, oh gosh, maybe I should be like quote unquote staying home more. Like may I but then I'm like, why does it matter? Like my kids are happy, I'm happy, like Tyler's happy, everybody's thriving. Like, I still have the label as a stay-at-home mom and a farm wife and a farm mom, but it looks different than others, and that's okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:16

Yeah, I think it having the idea of it being going into just looking at that way of life, knowing that it's okay to have different versions of each label, I think is healthy and it needs to happen because there's pros and cons to every single decision that we make every single day in our life. And you know, these decisions of do I go to this mom's group today, do I go to this church group today, do I do this, do I do that? Like there that's a decision that is going to be made and it needs to be made, and we're just gonna roll with the punches as it comes up. And so I agree with that a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_03 16:57

Well, and I will say, as far as like labels, obviously, this is something we've talked about so much on this podcast is how type A we are. Oh gosh. Which I want to ask you because with my type A per personality, I you know, especially getting into busy season here with planting and you know, just getting done putting liquid on and whatnot, like we're just you can feel it, like we're just really starting to like springs in the air, stuff's starting to go, like we're yeah, it's just yeah it's getting a little bit crazier, which there's like such a funness that comes with that, but then also like anxiety of it's go time, it's you know, stuff breaks and it's people are moving all around and we've got equipment on the road, and I just get a little bit more anxious, and yeah. But anyway, Tyler gets amped up and anxious. He will never say that. Never ever ever would he look at me and say, I'm anxious. Yeah, no, not in a hundred years, but I know it and I can feel it, and he'll bring up conversations or we'll talk about certain things. So being so type A, I find myself like I want to fix everything for him. Like what I'm okay, I can't even think of a scenario right now. I literally cannot think of one thing, but let's just say, like that if he's having troubles with the planter and he needs to get this fixed, so he needs parts, but John Deere and Beatrice doesn't have them. Like, I'm I'm gonna go out of my way and make myself more anxious and stressed. Cause like, can I go to Hebron? Can I go to like can does what down in Washington have them? Like, where can I go to like get this for you to make you feel better, to like put ease on your life? But it puts more of a burden on my life. Yeah, and I'm so bad about that. So, like, I need to I don't know if there's a happy medium, or do you relate or like yeah, and I don't know, I farm-ish related, not really.

SPEAKER_01 18:44

I have started pushing back with Cody so much just because life for me is kind of a chaotic, messy life right now, um, good and bad. And so Cody has always been like, I know I need to do, we need to get a surveyor down on our land to survey out a portion of our land so we can do legal fun things with it. And so I'm like, okay, where are you at with that? Well, I just haven't had time to find any or like to call anyone. And so finally I'm starting to push back and I'm like, no, like you have to, because I'm not going to make that phone call. Like I will, but I'm just going to have to then call Cody and ask questions.

SPEAKER_03 19:23

Yes, right. And so it's like Like he has the information in his head, let him do it.

SPEAKER_01 19:27

Right. And so that's where it's like, I am not going to inconvenience myself, and this is horrible because it's like I'm kind of inconveniencing my husband, but at the same time, like it's I'm being the middleman. Yes. And so at that point, I was just like, here are numbers that you can call. I sent him the numbers. I looked them up. Yes, I'm inconveniencing myself to do that. He is more than capable of doing it. But if you're saying that you don't even have time to call somebody, I know that you don't have time to like research who you should do. So here are the people that you should call. Click on the number, give them a call, figure it out. Yeah. Let me know how I can best support you after that. And so whether that's farm related or not, but it gets down to the point where you have to set those boundaries. Well, and it it's not necessarily setting the boundaries, like specifically with that situation. It's just like saying, Why am I doing everything or why am I doing all of these things when you're sitting in a tractor all day and you're sending me Snapchats or TikToks. Right. I'm like, you say that you don't have time to do this, but you're sending me these things. And that's one of my biggest like just life pet peeves is when I'm requesting something to be done from somebody else, or like, hey, we need to do this or we need to do that, or you know, business related or not. But I see you sending me TikToks, but you still don't have me the thing that I just request, you know, like I requested. Like I am not gonna I personally am not scrolling through TikTok until I have my shit done. Right. Sorry, not sorry, but I feel that too. And oh my god, there's just some people.

SPEAKER_03 21:04

I hope I've never been.

SPEAKER_01 21:05

No, but there's just some people or like okay, I'm gonna use an example for uh just to give our viewers some clarity, but like most of the time I'm the one that edits and figures out the tech and makes sure that the subscriptions and all like that that's me. I'm very much behind the scenes. Yes. Uh we And you like that, yeah, love it.

SPEAKER_03 21:25

Honestly, not to interrupt you or anything, but I feel like most of your like ventures or business like happenings, you're kind of the behind the scenes gal. Love it. Yes, love it.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

Where when we start first started talking about doing this podcast, you were like, I would love to do the like marketing and the social media posts. I'm like, good, great, lovely. I don't want to touch it.

SPEAKER_03 21:45

And I did want to dabble in the editing, and for whatever reason, like you were you just I didn't like it.

SPEAKER_01 21:50

Well, yeah, you got so frustrated with it. And I was just like, let me take it on. And I picked it up really quickly and giving myself a good start gold star there, but I'm getting. It came down to yes. So I'm gonna relate it back to if you would come down and you were posting your own TikToks, like editing your own, and like we haven't posted anything, that's where I would be like, all right, nope, that would just be. And I have done that and caught myself.

SPEAKER_03 22:19

And I'm like, I've posted my own TikTok, but I don't think I've had anything scheduled for our TikTok.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

Yeah. And I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_03 22:26

But that's a good on me. Like, I need to go on. I can have that realization and be like, okay, this like we love this podcast. It's not necessarily a job. Like, I don't look at it like that. No. But still at the end of the day, like I've signed up to put effort into this, so I need to do that. And because I'm asking you to put effort into editing and into, you know, your behind-the-scenes work, so I need to follow through with that stuff that I have said I'm gonna do.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

And I think it comes down to holding our husbands back in the same way. You expect me to have your clothes washed, have food in the fridge. I might may or may not be home to like actually cook a meal, but I'm at least strategic enough to be like, okay, there's leftovers of this thing in the fridge, or I have prepped this, just put it in the fridge or the oven or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 23:16

But okay, and I'm not to interrupt you again, but this has got me thinking when we first started this episode talking about as a husband, we felt like their role was to provide. So this kind of brings me to as a wife.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

Oh, I don't know if you can hear it, but Taylor's just right upstairs. She must be able to hear us. You can hear Taylor. She's yelling, Mommy, Mommy. Oh gosh. Um, it's a miracle. We can't any episodes. I know. Recorded.

SPEAKER_03 23:49

But um, it just kind of like, again, like I want to put myself in a place of how what's the right, like, hold myself accountable too. Like, if I am thinking that men and husbands should be the one providing, what's my role look like? Yeah, and how should I fulfill that? Absolutely. So is that like when I say that I'll drop anything to relieve Tyler's stress, like, where's the line of completely burning myself, but also like being his wife and like that's my role? Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, like when should I drop the ball on maybe like a church event or a mom's group so I can fulfill my husband and his needs? Like, where do you see what I'm saying? Where does that line because biblically we're called to serve our husbands?

SPEAKER_01 24:36

It is very muddy, especially in this modern world, because yes, biblically, like, men should be the breadwinners of the house. Men are the ones that provide safety, structure, you know, monetary needs, all of that stuff to the house, and women should stay home or like typically stay home and kind of the care the caretakers, yeah. They are the family, they're the homemakers. And um, so yes, biblically that has been what or that is what the Bible says. However, modern day it looks a lot different. Cost is going up across the world, and so now we see a lot more women working, whether they choose to, they want to, or they have to, whatever that looks like. But I think, like with Cody and I, I have gotten to the point where I am we've had very tough conversations where he knows that he is stressed and I know when I shouldn't test the boundaries because he's stressed, or he knows that I'm stressed and he like knows that he should just pick up something.

SPEAKER_03 25:45

Like you guys can just read each other really well now.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

Yes, we can, and so that that helps a lot, but at there's points where he I'm not sitting down and telling him exactly what happened in my day and all the things that pissed me off and why I wanted to cuss out 10 different people today. I that I'm not doing that, and so he doesn't understand the stress that I just went through and like relating it back to you. Like, Tyler doesn't know that Taylin may have spilled four cups of milk today. Yeah, like you're not sitting down and texting our spouses every single thing that happened throughout the day. We're just expected to handle it, move on, and do it. But there comes to that point where it's like, where do you drop the ball? Where do you say, I'm not doing this, whether it's because I don't want to go, I don't want to do it, or I can't. I think there's a difference between don't want to and I can't. And that's where I struggle with if I don't want to, I am always gonna prioritize the I don't want to over I can't. I will never want to put myself in the I can't thing, but I'm gonna de-prioritize things that in my life.

SPEAKER_03 26:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 26:52

That only affect me.

SPEAKER_03 26:54

Well, and I think that's a struggle of being so type A.

SPEAKER_01 26:56

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 26:57

Because it's like, where do you give? Because it's like we know that if we are going to say, okay, I cannot prioritize this event or this thing because I'm running on nothing, but then I know if I don't do that, I'm gonna feel guilty. And so it's like then I'm not really prioritizing my own mental health because I'm just gonna feel bad that I had to take a step back from whatever whatever said something is. You see what I'm saying there? So like I just feel like there's a especially when there is a when you're going back on your word.

SPEAKER_01 27:34

I I'm very much a if I'm going to say I'm gonna do something, I will do it. Yes. Like I I want people to know that when I say that I'm gonna do something, they can trust me to do it. Yes. 110% I'm gonna do it to the best of my ability. It eats me alive when I say I can't do this because XYZ has popped up in my life and I need to prioritize that over this. Oh, me too. And like it's not necessarily like the prioritizing because sometimes it is. Sometimes it is like saying, I have to deprioritize this friend get together because my brother needs me. And you know, or you know, Cody needs help on the farm or ex wife, whatever that case is. It's I hate like de making someone else de feel deprioritized or or just like ruining their plans, like yeah, I hate that too.

SPEAKER_03 28:29

That's a really bad feeling.

SPEAKER_01 28:30

And I get it. Life happens and things happen and all of that stuff, but I I it's different of saying I can't do this right away, declining like an invite to something because you have something else scheduled. Sure, lovely. But that's that's how I roll. If I we have a birthday party that's coming up on Saturday, I believe, and so it's like I had something else pop up, but I already committed to this birthday party, and I may have wanted to go to this other thing a little bit more just because I know it would fill my bucket more. But here I am going back, and I'm gonna I'm I said I was going to the birthday party, so I'm going to show up for this birthday party.

SPEAKER_02 29:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

Even though I know that I would probably get a little bit more like self-worth and self-like bucket-filling mentality of these other things. But it's just it's a tough thing to learn. And it goes back like being type A and just helping out on the farm and take it try to take away some stress.

SPEAKER_03 29:29

Well, and then another thing I really struggle with, especially when we get into the busy season of like, you know, just like rolling and like digging in and getting through and like helping my husband out and still being the mom and the um wife that he needs at the end of the day. But there just comes a time where it's like I find myself doing this through the months of busy season, and then I'm like, I don't remember the last time I have like had a meaningful like conversation with my husband. Like I get to a point of feeling like I'm just his runner.

SPEAKER_01 30:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:02

Which I get it, like he's in a busy season too, but like we're all in busy seasons at different times of our life. Like, why do you just get to drop the ball because you're now in said busy season?

SPEAKER_01 30:14

Well, no, I don't know if it's like dropping the ball because I know Cody is typically pretty good about saying, like, are you crazy? We're not going out of town over in the middle of calving. Like, I know we have done that before, but it's like we don't have a choice of this farm show is only happening this time.

SPEAKER_03 30:36

So that was so fun, also.

SPEAKER_01 30:38

Yeah, it was.

SPEAKER_03 30:39

And he actually wants to go back to it. I know he does. I think we're gonna do commodity classic.

SPEAKER_01 30:44

I don't I have no idea what that is.

SPEAKER_03 30:46

It's kind of similar. They they do it in different. Oh my gosh, this is the second time I heard that. They do it in different locations. I'll look where it's at.

SPEAKER_01 30:54

He only likes the farm show because of the tractor pooling, though.

SPEAKER_03 30:57

Maybe they do something like that. I don't know. I think he would like the commodity classic.

SPEAKER_01 31:01

I was gonna say, I think with it yeah, going back on like dropping the ball of it's not that my or it's not that Cody would drop the ball on something of saying, we're in a busy season, so I I'm gonna do it. And as I'm saying that out loud, sometimes he does because it's we have a calendar hanging up on our fridge that's a dry erase board, and I started using that because he would be like, Well, what are what's your plans tonight? Uh don't don't text me, don't ask me what my plans are because that is another text message that I have to respond back to. It's another phone call that I have to answer. Like, and it's that sounds horrible for me to say out loud, but I have so much of so many needs of other people just trying to get a hold of me. I have emails galore, I'm just trying to respond to everyone. You know what I'm doing on Tuesday and Thursday nights, Cody.

SPEAKER_03 31:53

That does suck about husbands. I think that's a that is a common theme I'm hearing and seeing. Like they just forget. It's like, you know, Tyler and I, we do a breakdown every Sunday, and then oop, Monday rolls around, poof, he's forgotten everything that's on our list.

SPEAKER_01 32:06

Right. Well, and that's where it's just like Cody could have dropped, oh, I I did forget that we had that this weekend, or I did forget that we're gonna have to do that. Right, and we're human. Like that's fine. I get it. But but it's like it's also been sitting up on this fridge for over a month now.

SPEAKER_03 32:20

I finally Tyler on calendar.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

Uh that's the only like I wish that Cody would use like his phone calendar. He doesn't, but I'm so glad that I finally got like you hooked on. Not maybe it wasn't necessarily. I didn't use that before that, before you told me. Send calendar invites. And if you're gonna change the time, change it on there.

SPEAKER_03 32:40

Change it.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

Like, please, because then I know and it's up to date on my end. So then when I'm trying to schedule other things, I don't have to be like, oh, I can't say anything. Let me wait and check because I don't know, you know. So like that's where it's just like I think having a shared friend calendar is the best thing.

SPEAKER_03 32:59

I mean, not that we have suppressed type type Aaron.

SPEAKER_01 33:03

Like, it's not that you have a like a shared calendar with me, like I can't see everything on yours, but I just love it. I just love the idea of sending calendar invites to it.

SPEAKER_03 33:12

It has kind of become like a little bit of an argument though, because a couple Mondays ago, like four o'clock, and I text Tyler, you have a haircut at 6 30. He calls me. What are you talking about? I didn't know anything about this. I said, check your calendar.

SPEAKER_01 33:27

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 33:27

I didn't get it. Oh, well, I don't know. I didn't see it.

SPEAKER_01 33:31

That's not my problem.

SPEAKER_03 33:32

Like you had to accept the invite for it to be on your calendar. So you must have seen it. Your short-term memory loss is not my problem. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:40

Well, and that's I don't know what to tell you. That's kind of like the Ozark trip, for example. Like we were they're just trying to c figure out a time to go.

SPEAKER_03 33:49

Which as bad as I felt about everyone having to kind of cancel.

SPEAKER_01 33:52

Yeah. I feel better about it.

SPEAKER_03 33:53

Because we just have so much this summer.

SPEAKER_01 33:56

But that's the th like what I was saying is like it's just so chaotic trying to go back and forth of like trying to figure out days and times, and it's like, oh, I didn't have this on the calendar, and then I was just like, but you're the one that started. But it it was just like it was just such like a weird thing because it was just so chaotic.

SPEAKER_03 34:14

And well, and then I think after like last summer kind of took the sails out of my Yeah, last summer was it called the wind took the window. I don't think the wind out of my life.

SPEAKER_01 34:24

That trip was just a chaotic mess.

SPEAKER_03 34:26

Yeah, and so then and then having a little baby, like, I mean, what are we gonna do with it? Yeah, I just yeah. I wasn't feeling it. And then we have I have two bachelorette trips this year. Tyler's a bachelor party, like it's just there's a lot going on.

SPEAKER_01 34:39

And then having two kids, it's like this summer's just a chaotic. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:43

But anyway, talking talking about more trips we're gonna add to our I know under our list. So it's in I'm not like thrilled about it, but it's in New Orleans this year. This next year. Have you? Yeah. Do you say New Orleans or New Orleans?

SPEAKER_01 34:57

How did I just New Orleans is what you said? I say New Orleans.

SPEAKER_03 35:01

New Orleans. I think it's a good idea.

SPEAKER_01 35:02

If anyone's listening, maybe correct us on that.

SPEAKER_03 35:04

Yeah, I think I normally say New Orleans.

SPEAKER_01 35:07

I really I don't know what the no, I'm no I just know it's a French city.

SPEAKER_03 35:11

Yeah. Um, so anyway, it's March 3rd through the 5th. It's basically like I've never been there, but I assume it's like they have a bunch of different exhibits and genocarming stuff and kind of like the farm show. Sure.

SPEAKER_02 35:26

Yeah. I'll have to look at it. I don't know that I want to go there. Did you like it there?

SPEAKER_01 35:32

I went there for a nursing conference for work, and I liked it.

SPEAKER_03 35:38

But I'm probably not bringing kids to New Orleans.

SPEAKER_01 35:40

It was right about Mardi Gras time, so it was also like a it wasn't this right around Mardi Gras time. Mardi Gras just happened. Did it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think I'm gonna I was gonna say I think the scheduling, dropping the ball, bringing all of the, you know, inconveniencing myself to maybe better suit my husband or whatever, very much guilty of, but I'm also at the point where I'm also very much pushing back on that because I'm like, if I'm expected to do all of these things, I'm gonna also expect you to do all of these things. Correct. And you know things happen, breakdowns happen. I you can't really plant it. And we get that, but you know when your busy season is. Yes, prioritize things ahead of time and get your other things done.

SPEAKER_03 36:33

This is the dirt that I've needed in my new flower beds, garden beds since literally November. And guess what? We're gonna start planting in about probably what what does today?

SPEAKER_01 36:47

The 21st, 22nd.

SPEAKER_03 36:51

So literally 18 days, we're gonna start planting. And said flower beds are empty.

SPEAKER_02 36:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:58

You know, it's things like that. You know when you're big, you know we're starting to plant April 10th. Yeah. It's been that way for the last how many years. I know. But anyway, I'm not getting a tangent. I'll have a nice little conversation with my husband about it at a different time, and I'll be kind. But I think the memo for this episode, I know it's fun to have all those labels and like the vibe, lifestyle labels, whatever. I think we just remember to need we need to be like just gracious. I think towards other people, towards ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 37:28

Especially the farm. I mean, yeah, yes, to other people, other things, all of that stuff. But there's they're really for you and Tyler, like your family, is the farm really provides for literally how you live. Yeah. And so you have to give the blood, sweat, tears, dedication, love. And I think people don't understand that. And so, like, you can't deprioritize the farm ever. The farm has to be the number one priority.

SPEAKER_03 37:55

Well, and I'm gonna make a comment that it's not gonna necessarily lead us into a part two, but it does kind of stint on what we're gonna talk about next episode. I get a lot of questions about how do you want to do that as far as like my farm venture, or like, you know, when I want to talk farming, or why do you know that, or you know, why are you interested in that? It's like this is our livelihood. If I'm gonna have a side gig or a side business, why do I want to pour into anything else besides right here?

SPEAKER_01 38:21

Yeah, or why would I it's not wasting time because I am a firm believer that educating yourself, whether that's about a video game or like you're learning, and that's that is a very precious, grateful thing that you need to love. Yeah. Um but yeah, if you know that your time and your schedule is already so booked because the farm, the kids, all of that stuff, yeah, it does make sense to like why would I want to pour into anything other than that? But you're passionate about it.

SPEAKER_03 38:57

Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 38:58

And you love the life that you live. Yes. And so it would be a completely different story if you didn't like the farm. Um, you didn't believe in the philosophies, you didn't believe in XYZ, all of that stuff. That would be a different thing. I I but you're passionate about it.

SPEAKER_03 39:13

And so I And that was something that came long before I was with Tyler Jones.

SPEAKER_01 39:18

Absolutely. And so that's the thing is like I am learning. I I grew up somewhat I not grew up on the farm, but I I was around a farm enough to like agriculture base, yeah. Yeah, like I understood very basic, maybe mid-level type things, but I've learned to grow a passion and uh a want and a hunger to learn about those things. And so, you know, whatever you end up pouring yourself into, it needs to be something that you're passionate about. But yeah, I mean, specifically with you guys, the farm needs to be a passion amongst the whole family. And if it's not, we got a problem.

SPEAKER_03 39:56

Like and that is something we will dive into next episode because we are out of time for this one. But this was a good talk. I enjoyed this.

SPEAKER_01 40:04

Yeah, I do think I guess we kind of we wrote down a closing thought with this episode.

SPEAKER_03 40:11

Yeah. I just thought this was kind of like a nice little tidbit, but anyway, I'll just read it off here so I don't mess it up with a tangent or something. The farm can take everything you give it, your time, your sweat, and your sanity, but don't let it take your heart. Whether you're a type A bookkeeper or a type B parts runner, remember that your value isn't how much you produced today, but in the grace you allowed yourself to receive. This is a good reminder.

SPEAKER_01 40:37

Yeah, go into this week. I guess if you're listening on Mondays when we release it. Yes. Just give it a couple of things.

SPEAKER_03 40:42

Go about your week of grace to yourself and to everybody around you. And actually, I'm gonna add one more thing because it just popped up onto my Snapchat memories.

SPEAKER_02 40:52

Oh no. I don't know if I trust Snapchat Memories.

SPEAKER_03 40:55

No, it's good, I promise. I I don't know why I took a picture of it because it was from years ago, but good for me. It's a Bible verse. Oh one of my favorites. But I just like the way it's worded. I don't know what Bible I I was reading it out of. Like what um Like if it was King. Correct. Yeah. Where is it? Oh no, I'm not gonna be able to find it. Addie, talk about something while I find it.

SPEAKER_01 41:24

So, what about the weather today? No, I'm kidding. Um, I do I do think when you Brady said it at the very end, the grace you allowed yourself to receive. Uh we there's a common theme across all of our episodes where we talk about pouring into our own cup, whether that's others pouring into our own cup or us pouring into our own cups. Allow yourself to receive that, allow yourself to receive the ability to let others pour into you because sometimes that's really all you need to just function and survive. And whether that's um telling your husband to figure it out on their own or not.

SPEAKER_03 42:06

Okay, I found it.

SPEAKER_01 42:07

Okay, let's read it.

SPEAKER_03 42:08

Okay, so I have a highlighted verse. It is John 1.16, and this is one of my favorite the I think this is my favorite verse. But I just love the um I I I again I don't know what book this is on of, but I love how it's the translation of it. Out of his fullness, we have all received grace in a place of grace already given.

SPEAKER_02 42:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:28

And I just think that it is so that is something that we should really remember in our day-to-day life, and just to be gracious because he was gracious to us first. Yes, love it. So we'll end with that. Have a good week, everyone. Bye. They say a farmer's work is never done. Well, neither is ours. Come back next week for a new episode of Life Between the Rows.