Episode 6: TMI - When Customers Overshare

In this episode, we're talking about oversharing — specifically the kind that happens in restaurants, at counters, and in places where someone is legally required to be polite to you.

From customers announcing their urgent bathroom needs, to casually dropping life-altering information like divorces, affairs, and medical details mid-order, this episode explores why some people treat service workers like unwilling therapists… or confession booths.

We break down why this behavior is wildly inappropriate, why it happens so often, and how being trapped behind a smile and a name tag turns workers into emotional dumping grounds. It's awkward, it's invasive, and somehow it's always said right before you ask, "Would you like fries with that?"

In this episode:

• The psychology behind why customers overshare with service workers
• Is this behavior acceptable? (Spoiler: I don't think so)
• The question for other servers and bartenders: do you think this is okay?
• Why oversharing goes both ways — servers shouldn't do it either

If you've ever been forced to respond to way too much information with "Oh… okay 😊," this one will feel painfully familiar.

Perfect for current and former service workers, anyone who's been trapped in an awkward customer conversation, or people who want to understand what really happens behind the counter.

Don't forget to tip your favorite waitress!  Click on the link to help out the podcast:  https://buymeacoffee.com/bitterwaitress 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hi, I'm Yasmin, and I'll be your server today. I'm a full-time waitress at a casual dining restaurant. I'm on foot for 10 hours a day, and I serve hundreds of customers each week. And these are my customer service stories. Hey everyone, thank you for joining me today. Today is going to be an interesting story. Let's just call it an overshare episode. It's even better because it didn't even happen to me. It happened to my coworker, and I got to witness the chaos unfold. Um so this story starts off by me finishing up my break, which is always nice. Your favorite bitter waitress loves an opportunity to sit down and rest her feet whenever she can. And my um co-worker, who's a very, very laid-back person, like just super easygoing, very nice to talk to, um pulls me aside, and he never does that. I mean, he's just so easygoing, he'll just talk to you about whatever, um, wherever it is, and you know, but the fact that he pulled me aside at first had me a little worried because I'm like, uh oh, did something bad happen right now? Like, did I miss something while I was on break? And he goes to me, um, yeah, so I was uh serving my table and I came out to tell them that their food's almost ready, and the customer told me that um you know he needed to take a shit. And just I was like, What what what what did you say? Is this is this nobody talks like that, like it I just can you repeat that? And he's like, Yeah, he he said, Oh no, like I I I don't uh I guess I don't have enough time to take a shit, and I was just totally taken aback by this by this comment. Now understand my coworker is a male, and it was another gentleman that um gave him this extra information that was completely unnecessary about his bathroom habits, but um I was I I was completely shocked, and I mean we both started laughing at it because it was so like absurd to be telling a complete stranger about you know needing to use the bathroom. But anyway, I still had a few minutes left on my break, so I went to sit down a little bit more, and I was at a place in the restaurant that was just an earshot of the take a shit table, and um I don't know what was happening. I guess my coworker had dropped off the plates, he came back. I think he he was asking like if they need anything else, and then the guy said something, like I was just hearing like bits and pieces of this conversation, and he's like, Oh yeah, something, something. Uh uh, I guess um I share too much about my life, uh, including taking a shit. So again, like twice in a row, like why, why, why, why do we need to be talking about this with people who we do not know? Like, okay, let's let's assess the situation for a second. To to all to all my male listeners out there, I get this is this is a thing with you guys, like um, you know, wanting to talk about bathroom stuff and burping and all these disgusting bodily functions. Like that's that's conversations that are had between the gentlemen. Okay, whatever. That's I mean, it's not for me, and for you know, any of the ladies listening, I mean it's you know, definitely not like when we gossip among the the girls, like that isn't stuff that comes up, you know what I mean? But anyway, um I get that's what guys talk about, but my whole thing is the fact that you're openly telling the server that like this uh and and let me tell you, like my co-workers, he he's a really like chill guy, so very just like nice to talk to, he's easygoing, like it's easy to talk to him, and he just like will make friends with a table like the nanosecond that he goes up to them. He's just that kind of like very easy-going person where you just feel very comfortable just talking to him, and that's great. Like, I'm I'm happy for those tables that get him as a server, he's a good guy. But my problem is that why why do you think telling a stranger that is a good idea, you know what I mean? Like, like you're in a public place, and I want to add this customer had his wife with him, okay? Like it wasn't like it wasn't like oh, like guy's night out, ha ha ha. No, he had his wife. I mean, not that my husband would ever do this in a million years, but I mean if like me and him were like on a date or something and and he said that to the server, like gross, like like I would be like, okay, that's a embarrassing, like we're leaving immediately, and B no, no, you don't you don't do that. Like, where's your common sense? Like, what is wrong with you? Gross, it is so gross. I just I don't understand. I don't understand people. I think like I'm trying I'm trying my hardest to really analyze the situation because the other thing is the type of restaurant that I work at, it's like a family restaurant. So, I mean, you generally get like families, um, we have a lot of retired clientele coming in. Um, you don't really get people going out on like dates too often there. Maybe like a couple they just like sort of just stop in for lunch quickly because like they're hungry or something like that, but it's not it's generally not a place like a like a like a date sort of like restaurant, it's more yeah, like casual dining, family dining. Um you take you know grandma there on her birthday or something like that. So, I mean it's not that vibe where like oh hey, you're at a bar, the bartenders, like you're you're therapist or something, and you could just tell them whatever, like it's not that vibe at all. So this guy just completely completely overshares with my coworker, and it's so gross, it is so disgusting. Like, I just no one no one wants to know. Like, if you're if you're listening to this podcast and you're trying to understand restaurant etiquette, like that's a big no. That's a restaurant etiquette. You go in, you're polite to whoever's serving you, you ask for the food, you say everything's great, you give them a nice tip, like that's that is that's good restaurant etiquette. That is good restaurant etiquette. If they want to strike up a little conversation with you, hey, like whatever, this, that surface level stuff, people, surface level stuff. We don't need to know your life story. Like, I um I think the the biggest overshare for me that I heard was not from a customer, actually. It was I went to a breakfast house once, it was like a little like they just served breakfast there, one of those, and the waitress um just decided to tell me like she was getting a divorce, and I was like, like, oh my god, like that's awful, but like I I mean I'm I I don't know you, I don't know what to say, like I don't know what you want me to tell you. Like, I feel like personal stuff can stay within like close family and friends, um, servers, or servers, if you're talking to your customers, don't like I I don't I don't understand this telling customers your personal shit. Like, I don't get it. So or tell me if I'm wrong. Maybe I'm wrong, and that's okay. I'm happy to be incorrect about this topic. If you think it's okay to share extremely personal stuff, whether you're a customer with your server, or if you're a server with your customer, just let me know. Maybe this is one topic where I'm like, you know, not on the money. But you know, I think social media has like spoiled us because we feel like we can just like go on there and tell the masses like what's happening with our lives. Because generally with social media, like like no one's really looking at it, no one's like the masses aren't like staring at your account, but just maybe maybe it's just changed how we how we function socially, you know. Um, I don't know. You let me know. You let me know for me. I think that is a big no. Don't talk about bathroom habits, don't talk about deep personal stuff, whether you're customer or a server. Like, I think it's a big no. I think just keep it professional, keep it professional, keep it polite, unless the people you're serving are family or close friends, and then you're just sort of like chit-chatting. But I don't think you need to dive into I don't think you need to dive so far into that kind of private stuff, okay? Especially the bathroom stuff, like just no one needs to know. No one needs to know, no one cares, honestly. No one no one cares. And the thing is, and one thing you have to know as a customer, okay. Please listen carefully. If you do something stupid like that, um, the servers talk. Yeah, like we go into the kitchen and we talk behind your backs. It's so true. Like, if you're gonna be an idiot and tell one of the servers that you're gonna take a dump, they're gonna run back to the kitchen and they're gonna tell one of us, and then we're gonna have stories and we're gonna laugh at you. So just keep gross stuff, personal stuff that is just not our business to yourselves. That's my personal opinion, but I want to hear from you guys, okay? I wanna know your stories. Do you have anything from a customer that's like shared something completely inappropriate or personal with you? Um, put it in the comments, please. I would love to read it. Um, it would really help the podcast out if you followed, um, shared it. Love love that. I would say that would be so helpful. I've also set up a tip jar. So, in the description, click on that buy me a coffee link if you want to tip your favorite bit or waitress. And as always, thank you so much for listening. I totally appreciate you. This is your favorite bitter waitress signing off.