Episode 7: Hangry Adults - When Grown-Ups Act Like Toddlers at Restaurants

We've all been hangry, that uncomfortable mix of hunger and irritability that makes everything feel more difficult. But here's the thing: being an adult means managing that feeling without taking it out on the people trying to help you.

In this episode, I'm talking about the phenomenon of "hangry" customers who use their hunger as an excuse to act out in restaurants. From dramatic sighs to passive-aggressive comments to the customer who literally put his head down on the table like a exhausted toddler, I've seen it all...

We're breaking down why hunger doesn't excuse bad behavior, how servers deal with adults who can't regulate their emotions, and the difference between being genuinely hungry and using "hangry" as permission to be rude. Spoiler: If a five-year-old can learn to use their words when they're hungry, so can you!

In this episode:

• The customer who performed his hunger while waiting for his food
• Why "I'm hangry" doesn't make it okay to snap at your server
• The emotional regulation skills adults are supposed to have
• How to handle hunger like a grown-up in public spaces

If you've ever had a customer blame their behavior on being hungry — or if you've wondered why some adults act like toddlers when their blood sugar drops — this one's for you.

Perfect for current and former servers, anyone who's dealt with emotionally dysregulated adults, or people who believe hunger isn't an excuse for bad behavior.

Don't forget to tip your favorite waitress!  Click on the link to help out the podcast:  https://buymeacoffee.com/bitterwaitress 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi, I'm Yasmin, and I'll be your server today. I'm a full-time waitress at a casual dining restaurant. I'm on foot for 10 hours a day, and I serve hundreds of customers each week. And these are my customer service stories. Hey everyone, thank you so much for joining me today. Today is a really interesting podcast about the whole idea of hangry. And I'm pretty sure most of you know what hangry means, basically. It's the idea that you're so hungry that you're starting to get cranky, irritable, grumpy, being a little bit snappy. And this term, in my opinion, I feel like it doesn't apply to anyone unless you're a small child. So I'll tell you why I say that. Um, I have encountered many customers who seem to be quote unquote hangry. And um, you know, there was one time where there was a customer giving me a little bit of a hard time. I told my manager, and she was being really sweet about it, and just said, you know what, I think that person's just hangry. Once they get the food, I'm sure they're gonna be much nicer. And she was, you know, saying that because she wanted me to feel like it's not your fault, this is just because this person's hunger single uh hunger signals are getting the best of them. And I just felt like you know, she's she's being really sweet, she's trying to make me feel better, but at the same time, I also felt a little frustrated with a customer because I mean, if you're in a restaurant and you're an adult, I don't think you should be giving people a hard time when you're hungry. I mean, I I just I don't understand it. If you are going out to eat, I know in the past I've heard, you know, like my husband talk about it, I've heard other people talk about how they don't eat for the whole day or they don't um eat like for a few hours before they go out because they just really want to enjoy the food, um, they want to eat everything on their plate, like they just they want to go to the restaurant and just really enjoy the food. And you know what? For people coming in the restaurant, I really appreciate that. You want to enjoy our food, you want to take your time, finish everything on on your plate. That's fantastic. But I mean, if you're starving yourself to a point where you get to the restaurant and your stomach acids are basically eating your stomach, and you're just in such a bad mood, I think that's probably a really, really, really bad idea because then you're gonna end up taking it out on, you know, the staff or maybe your family members or whoever you're at the restaurant with. Just, I don't know, pack some crackers, like have a little bit of something, not something that's entirely going to, you know, make you full so you don't eat your meal, but definitely don't walk in somewhere where you're at a point where you're going to explode on somebody. And I feel like hangry is really one of those words that I would use for a little kid, you know. When when my son was really small, you know, four years old, and he was just, you know, crying all over the place, just didn't know what to do with himself because he was he was hungry. I feel like that word is like, oh sweetie, oh, are you hangry? Is that what's going on? I feel like it's used for like a little kid. It's not it's not used for an adult, it's not used for a grown-up. Like, I feel like it sounds so ridiculous to be referencing um an adult as being like hangry. It just I don't know. I don't agree with it. I think that word should be erased from being used um when talking about an adult who's who's hungry, like just just control yourself. That's that's all I can say. So hangry, that's the word, that's what I want to talk about today. I had one table that I'm going to tell you about that was just a nightmare because the they were a very just very high maintenance, very needy, wanting me to go back and forth to the kitchen like a million times. But the gentleman came in super hungry, so it was um a family, a young family. Um, the gentleman was maybe like in his like late 30s, I would say, there with his wife and young child, and I got to the table and the guy was like, Listen, I'm really hungry, you know. Um I I I want the wings to start, and then they ordered another appetizer, and then they ordered some other stuff off the menu for their entrees, they ordered for for their child, and I'm like, Okay, well, you know, um the problem with some of the menu items that I think some people don't understand who haven't worked in a kitchen before is some of the menu items are actually very time consuming, and it's nobody's fault if you order, let's say, chicken wings. Chicken wings, they need to go in the deep fryer. Chicken is a product that you of course have to make sure is cooked thoroughly, otherwise, um, you know, you could get salmonella poisoning, you're gonna have raw chicken, which is not good. Unlike beef, and I'm not saying you know, some people don't like their beef on the um uh on the less well done side, which I completely understand, but beef doesn't have that that issue. So if it's a little bit underdone, I mean it's not going to hurt somebody, it's just a matter of preference. So, chicken, one of those things, chicken wings, deep fry that stuff. It's it's we have to make sure it's done properly. Um, there are other menu items that go in the oven or you know, that just are more time consuming. So if you are that hungry, if you are, you know, like out of your mind, hungry, and maybe it's not even your fault, you know. Maybe you go into a restaurant and it's like, oh my gosh, you know, we've been traveling all day and we just want to stop in here and get something to eat, and you just haven't had time to eat, haven't had a place to pick up anything small on the way. I understand that, but if you are that hungry, just ask the server and we will be more than happy to tell you. Just be like, listen, we've been on the road all day, or whatever the case is, what is the fastest thing that will come out of the kitchen? And honestly, that makes our lives a lot easier too. Because you know, you're getting your food sooner, you're happy, we're happy, everybody's happy, we get tipped well. Like, it just it works for everybody, works for everybody, everybody's in a good mood, you know. But you know, they ordered um some chicken wings, some other things, these all these, and for some reason on our menu, the restaurant that I work and servers out there, let me know if the kitchens you work at, if if um the starters are sometimes more of the more time-consuming items on your menus. But in my restaurant, they are, and certain things need to go in the oven, certain things need to be deep-fried, and they can customers may feel like, oh, I'm gonna get an appetizer to help, you know, curb my hunger a little bit, but it ends up actually taking longer than a lot of the entrees. So the they got all these appetizers. I'm waiting on them. I walk past this, okay, dropped off the drinks, and then I went back. And for some reason, I mean, such is my luck, but the restaurant got really busy, everybody was on break, I was by myself. I had eight tables by myself, and everybody for some reason that day was just being very high maintenance, and I want more water and more napkins and more this and more that, and it was just honestly like it was just this domino effect of things already weren't going well. And then this just one table, they were it was it was the dad, it was the the the guy, and he was so difficult to deal with. He put his head on the table, and I passed by, I'm like, Oh, is everything okay? And the wife's like, Oh, he's just hungry. I'm like, what I understand somebody can be hungry, but why are you putting your head on the table in a public place? That is so silly, like it is that if if let me tell you something. In my opinion, when you go out to a restaurant, it doesn't even have to be a five-star restaurant. You just control yourself, like act, act normal. You know, go in there, sit up, converse with your family or your friends, whoever you're there with, enjoy the time with them. Yeah, maybe you're hungry. Okay, I get it. You know what? On my shift, I'm serving customers food all day long. I'm staring at this food, and and sometimes I get really hungry, but I'm not sitting there putting my head on a table while customers are like, um, excuse me, where's my food? Oh, I'm sorry, I'm hungry. I just have to go into comatose because I can't function anymore. Like, people don't people don't do that. It's just wild. So this guy has his head on the table, and frankly, unless you're in a hospital and you're on death's door or you're severely ill, that is the only time I think in public you should be allowed to put your head on the table. Like otherwise, grow up. You know what I mean? You don't, you don't need to be making a show of how hungry you are. I get it, okay? I mean, the kitchen's cooking the food, and there's nothing I can do about it unless you want your food a cold or b raw. Like, pick one. You want it cooked or you want it inedible. Like, it just, it just, it it just blew my mind just seeing this. And he would this this gentleman was just in such a foul mood, just the whole dinner service. And uh, I just at one point I just told the manager and I was overwhelmed because I was by myself, and then I just had to the manager was on break. I'm like, listen, like, there's so many people, this one table is just giving me a hard time. I was like, You I'm sorry, like I need your help. So he came back from break, and I was I asked him just to look after this table because they were being a little bit too much, too much, and I think it all stemmed from the fact that this person was just so hungry, just I don't understand it. So, in my opinion, listen to me very carefully. If you are going out to a restaurant and you are hungry even before you leave the house, like, like you know, you have a little bit of like oh hunger pains, just grab a granola bar, grab a cracker, eat an apple, something, I don't know, wives, girlfriends, like if your man is the type that's like, oh no, I'm not gonna eat, pack some crackers in your purse because you don't want him getting hangry on anybody. That's that's silly. And unless you are a kid, you are not allowed to be hangry, okay? Even like older kids, I mean, even if you're 13, 14, 15, you're in your tweens or whatnot, I feel like children in that age range are able to control their emotions better than some adults that I've seen. It is, it's just it blows my mind. I I I I I don't understand it. So, to all my servers out there, um, you know, if you have a story about somebody who's just giving you a hard time because they're hangry, just leave it in the comments and tell me about it. I would love to hear. I don't understand this concept. If you feel like hangry should just be just taken out of our vocabulary, also let me know. I would love to hear that. I don't think it should be in our vocabulary anymore, frankly. Um, you know, I appreciate everybody who stopped in, listened today. I have set up a tip jar, so go ahead. There's a link in the description. If you want to help out my podcast, click on it, buy me a coffee. It would really, really help out the podcast. Um, and as always, thank you, thank you so much for all your support. This is your bitter waitress signing off.