Episode 11: The Customer Side - Comedy, Chaos & Restaurant Confessions with Bob Lement

In this episode, we're flipping the script. Instead of hearing from servers, we're sitting down with Bob LeMent :)  He's a comedian and storyteller with 26 years of podcasting experience on Static Radio and he'll be talking about restaurant experiences from the customer's perspective.

Bob shares hilarious stories about catching people stealing hot sauce (specifically Cholula), cutlery incidents at Red Lobster, and the infamous Dr. Pepper vs. Root Beer incident at Buffalo Wild Wings. We dive into Bob's very particular ordering habits that drive his co-host Miles absolutely crazy, his obsession with getting sauces on the side, and why he needs to know exactly what's in every dish before committing.

We also talk about teaching kids proper restaurant behavior, the art of reading a table as a server, and why everyone should work in the service industry at least once to understand what servers actually deal with. Plus, Bob reveals his strict water-only diet policies and why he tips bartenders even when he only orders water.

In this episode:

• The great hot sauce heist epidemic in restaurants
• Why Bob needs everything on the side (especially sauces)
• Teaching kids restaurant etiquette vs. embarrassing them on purpose
• The skill of reading customers and matching their energy
• Why working in service teaches you empathy

Perfect for servers who want insight into picky customers' minds, anyone who's ever been "that person" with special requests, or people who love hearing honest, funny stories about the chaos of dining out.

🎙️ Check out Bob's podcast Static Radio at https://www.staticradio.com/ – 26 years of weekly conversations with co-host Miles Tytle covering pop culture, comedy, and storytelling.

Don't forget to tip your favorite waitress!

Click on the link to help out the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/bitterwaitress

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

A blue cat walks into a restaurant and orders wings with barbecue stuff on the side. What does the waitress say? Check out today's episode with Bumblement to find out. Hey guys, I'm so excited today. Um it is a very special day because we've got Bumblement on the show. Um Bum is um a co-host of cinematic radio. And um the fantastic thing about it is the first episode came out January 1st, 1999, um, with his other co-host Miles Tidal. And 26 years later, and counting, uh, they continue their weekly dialogues, and I'm so happy to have Bob on the show today. Hey Bob, how's it going?

SPEAKER_00 0:46

I was three years old when I started doing this, Yasmin.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

I love that. And and still have a strong friendship with the children.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

Not even 30 yet. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

Started as a child. It's good.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Started as a child, exactly. That's that's what I like to say. I you know, I want to keep people guessing.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

So, you know, I don't think, gosh, 30 you did this 99. My gosh, this person's ancient.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

Oh my goodness, you look very young. I'm guessing is your keeper.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

I do have a regiment that uh Rob Lowe and I have the same skincare routine.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

So I figured. I saw it. Yeah. I saw that.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

And he's older than I am, just so you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

I can't, I mean, it's you can't imagine, but it's true. You guys need to go into business together. Tell us ladies how to stay youthful.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

He's so uh, you know, uh what do you want to say? He doesn't want to give away any secrets. He's like, no, no, no, Bob, just keep it to ourselves. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

Yeah, understand.

SPEAKER_00 1:47

We'll sell it, we'll sell it whenever I get really old.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

In another 26 years, I guess. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

Yeah, when he's in his 90s, he'll be like, okay, sell. That's right. Nobody knows who you are anymore, Rob.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

That's right. Well, it's so cool to have you on the show with us. And um, what I love is that um as a storyteller and comedian, I feel like it's such um uh like you're you become very observant of people's behavior. Um and in places like restaurants where you need to gauge people's body language, figure out what's going on. Um what is, as someone so observant, one of the strangest things you've seen at a at a restaurant, or one of the most absurd things that you've like witnessed happen at a restaurant?

SPEAKER_00 2:38

Oh my gosh, that's a good question. The most absurd thing at a restaurant that I've observed. Now you got me thinking here. Goodness. I mean, besides my own behavior, the the absurdity, uh yeah. People hate to go out to d uh eat with me because I'm a bit peculiar in my ordering uh of things. But I'm trying to think of other people. Um I think I'm trying to think of some recent things when I've been out and what people do. I always like it whenever people steal things from restaurants and you catch them.

SPEAKER_01 3:17

Oh, that's the best.

SPEAKER_00 3:20

I think it's peculiar myself whenever I don't know why it is, but it seems like hot sauce seems to be the biggest uh um target for the folks who like to steal things from restaurants. And so there's you know, there's uh like there's Chulula, right? There's Louisiana hot sauce, some Tabasco and whatnot. Yeah. And those always seem to be the things that you catch people stealing. Have you noticed this? Um maybe you go to restaurants that have a lot of hot sauce, I guess. Maybe I'm just a lot of hot sauce restaurants.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

I like the hot sauce, but I haven't seen, like from as a server, I haven't seen hot sauce being stolen, but I have because we serve like there's um we we're like a chicken and and rib restaurant, and there's um a sauce that we use for our chicken that's very popular. And um one time like somebody like asked me for a takeout boxes. We also have containers for the sauce, but they didn't specifically ask for a container. And they've been putting the the ramekin that the sauce came in into their takeout container. And they call them red-handed. I'm like, excuse me. Um, that belongs to the restaurant. They're like, oh, we just we like the sauce so much. I'm like, I can bring you a takeout container.

SPEAKER_00 4:41

It's funny, they're taking your ceramic uh holders with them.

SPEAKER_01 4:47

Dishware. So I it's for me, it's been it's been um dishware. I think people target that.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

That's really now I I would because I've never I well no, I've never seen anyone take dishware. I know that my and I'll I'll throw them under the bus here. My brother-in-law had a uh a whole set of random pub glasses from restaurants. For whatever reason, he kept taking them, and in in his uh apartment he had all these different ones with all kinds of different logos and things on them. That was his kind of uh he was a little bit of a klepto pub glass guy for a while. I think he's settled down now.

SPEAKER_01 5:27

That's hard to do though, like I guess just put it in the well, especially for a guy.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

Yeah, I know because there's no purse or anything, right?

SPEAKER_01 5:36

That's right, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

Uh I can tell you that my son, when he was a child, we were at a red lobster of all places, and he stole a knife uh as a toddler by putting it in my wife's purse. And then when she got home, she's like, Why is there cutlery in my purse? And then he was the culprit because he had gotten bored and was down on the floor playing, and I guess somebody had dropped a a knife or whatever. Now the weird thing was we ask him about it, and he's like because he he didn't call the this is this is the cute kid story, he never called it a knife, he called it an ife. He couldn't do the KN, right? So he goes, an ice, and he's like, I'm not supposed to have ifes. And so I guess he found it and he threw it in there to keep it away from himself.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

Oh my god, we'll get mad.

SPEAKER_00 6:26

That's right. And I'm like, really? Okay, well that's interesting. I but yeah, that he had uh he did that when he was really small, and I was like, uh it was very peculiar. I don't know why he didn't say something, but he would even he whenever we would go out to dinner, because uh uh I was well my wife and I both were big uh proponents on taking the children out uh so they can learn how to behave. Which I don't know, I mean as a if you work in the uh industry, I'm sure you see a lot of misbehaved children.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

And our thought was that rather than just not doing it, because we wanted to, right, is to get the kids acclimated to being out and and proper behavior. So whenever they're bad, you say, you know, you're not supposed to do that, and then that way you're modeling this and and um so then as they get older then that you have less problems, I think. So you start them you start 'em young. Yeah. And then but uh he didn't he and so he would never have a knife at his whenever the the we'd sit down to a nice uh place, you know. Not that Red Lobster's that nice, but anyway, they give you silverware and so forth, you know. Um he would always like, you know, point at the knife and say, Take it away, I can't have a knife. And uh so then he would not want to even have a biome. Even though it's like a butter knife or whatever, but I wasn't gonna get into arguing with him. I was just like, Oh, that sounds pretty good to me. I don't think you need a knife either.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

Toddler logic. We don't don't as parents, we won't mess with that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

I'm not gonna totally as he got older, you know, obviously he's at this point, you know, now we just keep the sharp knives away from no, I'm just joking. Even as the new butter knife I can't help that.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 8:14

Yeah, now that he's 30 now. Um but but yeah, hot sauce would get back to your question. I think hot sauce, and then my own daughter has done it. So that's why I I'm like, uh, you know, um she's like she loves Cholula, which I don't know if you have uh where you're at, if they have Cholula, but it's a very good uh sauce. Yeah. And yeah, and then and they had this, I think it was a cute little bottle, and next thing you know, she has it. So I was like, Where did you get that at? She's like, Oh, I got it from the restaurant. I'm like, Well, I don't know that that's so good.

SPEAKER_01 8:48

I know.

SPEAKER_00 8:48

So well maybe you shouldn't do that.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

Sometimes you go out and you're like, Oh, this is like really nice. We went um out for my my mom's birthday not too long ago, and the place we were at, they had uh an adorable teapot. I'm like, do they sell this? Like, I want this. I mean, I don't blame people when they're like eyeballing stuff.

SPEAKER_00 9:11

It's like oh well, if they don't, there's a nice big tip in it for you to not pay attention.

SPEAKER_01 9:16

That's right. Um, so I just I love that that we're talking about like, you know, family and going out. And like I feel like like when I first met my husband and we went out a couple of times, I felt like I'm like, oh wow, like this is like you can really tell a lot from people um when they're at a restaurant. You can tell a lot about their behavior, like who they are as a person. Um, it's funny because Pete Davidson talked about it on a podcast some years ago that he would take his dates out to restaurants to get a better sense of like you know how they were as people. Do you do you agree with that? Do you feel like it talks?

SPEAKER_00 10:03

Yeah, totally.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:05

Yeah, you because so uh having many years ago been in I we I wasn't didn't work at a restaurant. I worked at McDonald's when I was younger, so but uh I always said that everyone should have it's almost like a uh mandatory turn working in fast food or some type of uh service industry because uh you really do, you really get a feel for how people treat folks who work in the service industry, right? And it should give you a better respect for whenever you're out because everybody's just trying to make a living, right? And in the service industry, a lot of times, uh and I don't know if it's this way, maybe it's not this way in Canada, but in the States they still allow people to pay lower than minimum wage to be a waitress because you get tips. Oh wow. Yeah, and it's it's not fair. No, right? But it it's you know, it's a weird, kind of a weird sense of things, but um because they're like, well, they're gonna get tips, so they're gonna make more than minimum wage with their tips. It's like, no, no, no, that's not what tips are about. Tips are about above and beyond. Yeah. But anyway, uh when you're when you work in that, then you certainly get to see what people are like, and so you know you can you can still be upset with your service and not be an incredible you know jerk.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

And know how to handle the situation, right? You're like, uh, you know, this isn't so good or that's not so good. Is there any way you can help me uh, you know, make it better? And then the the you know, the person serving you would obviously typically they make it better because that's the whole point, right? So that they're there they're there to serve. That's why it's called the service industry, which is kind of funny. But yeah, you're right. And and I think a lot of it's probably something that pe everybody should do, right? You should all, you know, if you want to see if you're gonna get a lot, if you're a real jerk and you want to, well, I need to have another jerk to be with, maybe you go out with them to dinner and see how they treat the wait staff. And you're like, wow, we're both jerks, this is great. We'll go out together. Um but uh yeah, no, I think it is. And it's one of those weird weird things that I think everybody should be um exposed because then it'll give you um uh a better understanding, right? So the the all the problems in the world, as they say, I don't know, there's probably some saying, I can't think of what it is, but all the problems in the world could be solved if you could just change places for a little while.

SPEAKER_01 12:40

Oh, it's so true, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:42

And yeah, so as long if you get the experience of whatever that person is experiencing, then you're gonna have a better understanding for yourself, uh, in your world, right? In your life. Yeah. And I think that's the way it should go. But now have you know, I have to play devil's advocate a little bit for the sake of comedy as well. But sometimes there's no service.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:04

And so you deal with but it still doesn't mean you have to be rude. That's true. You know, you don't have to be rude, but yeah, you every once in a while you get into situations where there's not a lot, you know. Uh I would you know, I would say there's there's not a lot of uh connected gears up there, and so the people are just not wanting to do it, they don't want to be there. I don't know what their pro you know what the issue is that they're dealing with on their side, but yeah, you're not getting the service, and so it's like but that's what the tipping uh at least in the in the states and so forth, and I think in Canada, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:40

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

You you'll tell me if I'm wrong. That's what tipping's for. Tipping is for it was really good or it wasn't really good, and you um you tip accordingly. Yeah, right. And then and then that's what sets the that you know you're telling that person in essence, uh, you did a good job or you didn't do a good job.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

Um in that in that regard. But uh I totally agree with that. And I always think that that's um that's something that uh I I don't know if if people just don't realize that or not. I'm not sure. I've never been I've never been to dinner with somebody who has been overly rude, I don't think. That I can recall. I mean I'm very, very particular. So people like I my co-host Miles, we uh everyone we don't live anywhere near each other and we do the have been doing the show. We went to college together, that's where the show started. And and um but when we go out and get something to eat, he always hates it because I'm very, very particular. And I mean I I will uh you know I have a litany of uh requirements for whatever I'm ordering a lot of times, and and he he finds it embarrassing.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 14:57

Yeah, that I if he's having to be, you know, with me while we're going to get something to eat, because I'm like, can I have you know, I want to have garlic bread, but I don't really want any kind of cheese, or I don't want any, you know, can we not have too much garlic? No, anyway, I just go on and on about whatever I want, you know, and he's like, Oh my gosh, can't you just take something as it is on the menu? I'm like, well, I I it is on the menu, but I just I'm just checking. You know, I just want to make sure, yeah. I can't, you know. Well, I was recently um he had a birthday, and uh he had a birthday party. I actually went to his birthday party and drove a few hours, and uh I get to the uh location which was uh a bar, and uh and I don't drink um alcohol and uh I go to the bartender and he's like well what do you want? You know, and I'm like, Well, do you have do you have anything that's not got any sugar? Because I also have decided not to have sugar anymore in my drinks. Well, I I try to avoid you can't avoid sugar in food, but I try to avoid things that are just sugar. Right. Mold lizard. And he's like, Well, no, I go, well, I got you know this, and I go, well, he's had diet Pepsi or something. And I'm like, well, you have anything that's got zero on it. So now we're getting into the minutiae. This is the part that he hates, is the the minutiae. I'm like, because you know, diet Pepsi is doesn't have any sugar, but it's not the same as uh Pepsi Zero.

SPEAKER_01 16:28

Exactly, yes.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

It's got different sweeteners, different chemicals in it. So I'm talking to this poor bartender about the chemicals in different uh sugar-free sodas, and Miles is like, oh my gosh, here he goes. You can't just accept what he's been offered, he has to well anyway, they didn't have any, and so I just had a glass of water because I'm like But I I had to ask, because if he had it, then that's what I wanted. But yeah, I still tipped him for my glass of water. I gave him a tip no matter what. Right. Because he took the time to try to listen to me. He wasn't following it. It was obvious at a moment there that he either didn't care the about the diet soda experience that I was trying to tell him, or something. He was being nice, but not you know what I mean. He kind of zoned out. He's like, I guess this guy doesn't want to die of Pepsi. I don't know. And uh and so yeah, so I I just ended up drinking water. But I still gave him a tip and uh and I had my water, it was fine. But that that's kind of the kind of the epitome of the experience of dining with me is it always gets into the minutiae. So I'll be like, so what exactly is if there's some kind of sauce on this, or what is part of the sauce? Is it what's in the sauce? Is there you know, and then it just kind of ruins it. So I I I generally get a lot of things plain because then I don't have to go into it. Um and then uh also what drives him him crazy is I get it plain and then I get whatever comes with it on the side. So I'll I'll order my, you know, whatever it is, chicken, whatever, and then can I have the everything else on the side? Yeah. Oh my gosh, you'd think I was asking for the world with this guy. He's like, Oh my, can't you just take it as it comes? And like, no, I don't I don't know if I like that. I just I have to ease into everything.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

And you know what? I feel like from a serving perspective, as long as like somebody specifies what they want from the start, it's like it's not a big deal because then you know, you know, like if it's you drop off the food and then you're waiting a few minutes and you go over and you check and they're like, I don't like it. And then you're like, What'd you tell me? I could have like told the kitchen, and then they have to sit there and wait for the new one. So I actually appreciate customers that are like, like, listen, Caesar salad, just put the croutons and the parm and the sauce on the side, and I will make your life easy. I actually the the kitchen makes fun of me because I'm I always like those customers, and I'll write like this novel to the kitchen. They're like, what are you doing? And I'm like, no, this is good.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

Well, then you don't get nothing gets sent back.

SPEAKER_01 19:16

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 19:18

You know, nobody's, you know, and especially if they're not the best uh customer, then they're gonna be like, Well, you know, and they're gonna give you what for and it's like, no, this way, and then I can, you know, it's almost kind of like uh a little bit of an experiment for me, and then I try maybe I'll try it, and then if I don't like it, then I don't have it all over everything, and then I can yeah, I'm really big, I'm really I guess you know, if I really penned it down, I'm big on uh sauces, which oddly enough we talk about hot sauce to start with this, but uh I'm not always sure about the sauce.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:51

And I need to ease into the sauce. Everything typically everything else is more not normal and fine and everything, but when it comes to the sauce, I'm like, I don't know. You know, there could be some anchovy in there or we don't know, you know. Nobody, yeah. The sauce is a mystery, it's like a mystery thing. You don't list out all the ingredients in the sauce, and so then I'm always wary. I don't know why. Not that it's bad, obviously it's it's you know. Yeah, you didn't get shut down or anything, so obviously the restaurant's still functioning. They're not they're not throwing random things in the sauce, but yeah, I'm always that's been my hang-up since I've been a kid, so I'm always like, this, you know, what's in the sauce? Yeah, sometimes it's but I don't really want to ask that. I mean, I should maybe I will start asking that question. What's in the sauce? No, I don't maybe that I shouldn't do that.

SPEAKER_01 20:43

It's totally fine to do like the the like little plate of sauces on the side. I have this one regular customer and he's a funny he's he he likes his sauce. He likes like, oh, I'm having chicken tenders. Well get me the barbecue and the honey mustard and the plum and just on the side. Hey, give me some salsa while you're at it. I'm like, you know what? You do you. That makes you happy.

unknown 21:08

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 21:11

Meanwhile, he's stolen all the hot sauce off the table.

SPEAKER_01 21:15

Probably.

SPEAKER_00 21:17

I went that reminds me of a funny, weird story. So I my son uh his he got older. He wanted to go to Buffalo Wild Wings. I don't know if they have those uh up north, but and so we were at Buffalo Wild Wings, and uh at that time, this has been a few years ago, I did drink uh sugar. So I'm going back on my diet Pepsi thing. But anyway, I said I wanted a Dr. Pepper, you know. So she comes out, poor lady brings me the Dr. Pepper, and I'm like I start drinking, I'm like, this is root beer. Oh And so I'm like, No I said I said, I'm sorry, you know, I thought this is root beer. I I I want a Dr. Pepper. And some people, you know, they're like it's the same thing, isn't it? Well no it's not but uh you know so then she goes back, she brings me another one. It's root beer again.

SPEAKER_01 22:06

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 22:09

My wife is getting angry with me. I'm like, it's still root beer. And and she's like, just drink it. Just drink it. And so I couldn't, and this is just me. And I'm like, I'm really s sorry, but I thought this is this is root beer again. She's like, What? Come to find out, somebody didn't put the Dr. Pepper, they put root beer on the Dr. Pepper line. Oh she was putting it up for Dr. Pepper. Yeah. And but she kept bringing me root beer. It was root beer in the thing. And then she finally went back there, and I think she was yelling at the one of the guys back there in the back, and it turns out that he put the wrong thing on. And sure enough, yeah, then I got a Dr. Pepper finally.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

But you saved the day. You helped them to somebody else would have gotten a root beer, someone like me who hates root beer.

SPEAKER_00 23:02

That my son and my wife were not, I was not the save the day. I was the difficult guy who couldn't just drink the root beer. That was me. But I I can't uh yeah, I'm I don't know. I get my heart set on things. I don't know if it happens, but if you go out, uh especially when you go out to eat and so forth, I very much if if uh you know it's a plan, right? We're gonna go someplace, right? And um I get really get my heart set on the specific thing that we talked about. So I really want to have exactly what I was had in my mind uh before we got there. Because it's typically for us, it's not a spur-of-the-moment thing. It's usually fairly okay, we're gonna go, you know, do this or do that. And and uh my wife is very much a planner, and so I you know, I know that we're gonna go do something. And so then when it doesn't happen, I'm like, oh my gosh, you know, I really wanted to have uh my I had the whatever the hot wing sauce on my chicken uh and my Dr. Pepper. And it's like, well, it wasn't happening, and then I just can't get off of that. I'm just like, okay. This root beard is not cutting it. This is don't you know that there's vintages for the things just like fine dining here with the Buffalo Wild Wings? Oh yeah. I need a medium, I need a medium sauce, I need a hot sauce, and I need a Dr. Pepper with my chicken. And by the way, I do get them all on the side.

SPEAKER_01 24:30

Oh, all on the side, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:32

All on the side.

SPEAKER_01 24:34

Well, what's the problem with wings sometimes when they're too saucy, and then you're just sitting there and you're like, um, there's not enough napkins. Like they're just give me the whole roll.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

Like that is. It's yeah, I can't I I'm not, yeah, I'm not one for a lot of wet food. I'm not a wet food guy. I don't know what it is about it. I'm like, if it's super wet, like soaking wet, it's like, oh, okay, I'm not so sure about this.

SPEAKER_01 25:01

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:03

I don't know what it I don't know what it is, but sauces and wet food, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

Well, with um with like comedy, how do you feel about servers joking around with within? Oh, I'm fine with it.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

Yeah, I was uh we were at a Mexican place. I was speaking Spanish to him, and my again, my wife, uh my uh I think it was my daughter at that time, uh not having me speaking Spanish to the to the at the Mexican restaurant. Oh did not like it at all. No. Oh no, because the thing is I don't really speak Spanish. I just know a few words, and so whenever I'm you know I don't know what you call it. I just want I just want to have fun, you know. You're there to eat and have fun.

SPEAKER_01 25:58

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

And so that I'm trying to talk uh, you know, I'm trying to I'm trying because it it's a uh the the place is a real uh place with people from Mexico who run it. Uh they're Spanish, they speak Spanish, and so I'm just trying to, you know, I'm trying to relate here. I'm trying to associate as best I can.

SPEAKER_01 26:18

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 26:19

But she thinks I'm just being a jerk or something. So he he was very nice and he talked to me. We talked I did as much as I could.

SPEAKER_01 26:27

As you could, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:28

To inter to interact, and then she's just like rolling her eyes, and it's like, oh my gosh, what's with this guy? He's he thinks he can speak Spanish all of a sudden. The terrible thing, this is probably why, my wife actually knows how to speak French, and so she can speak French, and so I can't. And so this is my only way to get back at her.

SPEAKER_01 26:47

Is yeah, you have to go out somewhere where you can attempt to speak Spanish.

SPEAKER_00 26:52

That's right, where I can be the person that knows something.

SPEAKER_01 26:55

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

Although she kind of knows Spanish. French and Spanish got similarities, so it's not like I really got one up on her, but you know. And then my kids have none of it. They don't run any it. Why in the world are you embarrassing me? I'm just trying to eat.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

That's that's the best part about kids. You can embarrass them when you go out to a restaurant. I mean, that's a job as a parent, let's be honest.

SPEAKER_00 27:20

Is it?

unknown 27:21

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

Oh yeah. It's that's that's great. It's the funnest thing. We had um uh one like family, and so we serve because it was like chicken and ribs, we serve these like finger bowls, so you can like wash your fingers because it gets really messy. And so as part of the service, it's required that we hand out these finger bowls. Um, and it doesn't matter if you if it's like young children, if it's adults, like you just hand them out to everybody. And so I put them on the table and they look like little bowls of lemon soup, but they're not, like you don't drink it. And the parents knew that, and the parents um and then I put in front of the the kid at this table, and then the dad's like, it's soup, and it's just laughing and laughing, and I'm like, no, it's not, please. We don't need like a lot of soup, but it's just funny, just watching, I guess, as a surfer, sometimes the parents like mess with the kids. It's funny. Sure.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

Wow, look at that. Lemon soup. Lemon soup.

SPEAKER_01 28:23

Yeah, try some, try some kiddle, it won't hurt.

SPEAKER_00 28:29

I hey, I probably would go for it, you know. I don't know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:33

Maybe go for fool me.

SPEAKER_00 28:39

You could drop it off and be like, lemon soup, okay. Delicious. Never never heard of it, but maybe it's something new. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 28:46

Yeah, or maybe it's like a little, you know, after after the meal, something aperitif or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 28:56

Um so uh but as far as this the server thing, I'm fine until they try to sit down.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:02

I'm good with all the joking.

SPEAKER_01 29:05

But sitting down, like joining you guys.

SPEAKER_00 29:08

Is a server, have you ever sat down with people?

SPEAKER_01 29:11

No, I'm just joking. I've never done that.

SPEAKER_00 29:13

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

But like I'll be like, oh, hey, maybe I can like, but this is like with my like regulars, where I there's a comfort level of be like, hey, maybe I can sit down, and they're like, ha ha ha, okay. But I wouldn't never, like, that would be insane.

SPEAKER_00 29:28

Really? Well, it's happened. So yeah, I'm always good to joke around until they try to get me to scoot over and sit down, and then I'm like, I'm like, what I'm out to eat. You're not out to eat.

SPEAKER_01 29:41

I mean, we are on our foot all day, feet are all day long. Maybe you can take a two-minute break.

SPEAKER_00 29:48

Yeah, but you go in the back. Go in the back. No, it's just no, I had that it always throws me. They do, they try to sit down with you, and I'm like, really? Are we okay? We're doing this? I mean, I it just it just kind of weirds me out because then that's that's like breaking the fourth wall, right? Oh yeah. And I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah, but no, I I I joke around and and uh d much to the chagrin of everybody that's uh I'm with a lot of times. And uh but no, I love it. I think that's great. I think it it it's uh it's a skill for the server to know when they approach that table where they need to be at, right? Because you're it's it you're you know you know, no uh you're trying to get a better tip. You're gonna give good service, right? And the tip is gonna reflect that service. And so you're gonna want to give that person the experience that you think is going to be good for them. Right. And so when you come approach them, then you're be like, you know, okay, this person wants to joke around, this person doesn't want to joke around, this person just wants the uh, you know, the be done eat and be done and get out of there or something. And so then you just you you as long as you can kind of you know uh find that out right at the beginning, then it's all golden, right?

SPEAKER_01 31:15

Oh, totally, yeah. You gotta read the table. Every table is so different. They're just everybody, it's like because you're the the public, they they bring you all sorts of personality types, all sorts of walks of life, the different ways of being raised, different expectations of being in a dining room. Like it's just uh yeah, the the the paying public. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:39

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 31:40

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:41

Now the funny thing is when so if it's just my wife and I would go out to eat. I I'm a lollygagger. So if you ever I don't know if the that's one of those words that probably everybody doesn't even know, but I am just taking my time, I don't care, I'm just like whatever. My wife is like wants things on a schedule, right? She wants her stuff, she wants her refills, she wants everything. I'm just like, I am here until I'm not here. And she's like wants to get everything done, so she's always rushing me. So yeah, we're kind of opposites in that regard, and so then she's uh always, you know, well, you know, wants to get the refill, wants to get this, wants to get that. And I'm like, I'm here. I don't it it took it could take all day, I don't care.

SPEAKER_01 32:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:34

As long as I get something to eat at some point in time, I'm happy.

SPEAKER_01 32:38

I'm happy, yeah. Chit-chat a little, eat a little, maybe leave whenever. Yeah, laid back. I like it.

SPEAKER_00 32:45

Yeah, she's always like, where's that check? And I'm like, I don't know. She's always in a hurry. Where are we going? Are we going somewhere? She's like, no, I just want the check. I'm like, well, it'll come. Eventually.

SPEAKER_01 32:59

Eventually.

SPEAKER_00 32:59

But we always do the switcheroo, right? So the uh the switcheroo being that most uh waitresses will uh somewhat I don't want to say cater, but concentrate on the male figure at the dinner because they think they're the one that's gonna give them the tip. But I don't do that. So my wife is the one that always gives the tip. Whatever tip is gonna happen, it's all out of her. I'm just there. I'm just there. And so they always, you know, they come and they, you know, oh, how was your dinner and so forth? And most people are it's more equal nowadays than it was when I was young, but um, you know, but they seem to, you know, look at me like I'm gonna pay, which sometimes I do and sometimes I don't, but I never figure the tip if we're together. Um I'm always like, you know, I'll let her do whatever. Right. So then, you know, I could see people they put down the put down the uh I give them the car, they come back, they set it down in front of me, and then I just slide it over to her to fill out. And I can see them like, what is he doing? He's not filling it out, he's not gonna I'm like, no, I never I was nice to the wrong person. Yeah, I was I gave him all the refills and ignored her.

SPEAKER_01 34:24

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_00 34:27

And then yeah, now I really screwed myself on this no. But uh no, so yeah, I always do that, and then yeah, some sometimes they look at me weird, like, well, what are you doing? Because I I'm like it's almost as if I don't even want it. Yeah, just take care of this. I don't even want to deal with it. So yeah, and then she always d tallies everything up, and then I sign it, I guess. Yeah. Sometimes she just signs it. I don't know what's going on. I'm like, what is she's like? I mean, is that my card? Whose card is this? I don't even know. I'm just here.

SPEAKER_01 34:58

So well, I love that. I love that um most of it sounds like most of your dining experiences have been amazing. Um with regards to like static radio, can you give the audience some background on your website? When do um new episodes drop and um some some information?

SPEAKER_00 35:20

Nobody cares about that yet.

SPEAKER_01 35:22

Yes, they do.

SPEAKER_00 35:24

They want to hear about, you know. I want to hear about these ribs.

SPEAKER_01 35:28

Do you have dry ribs or what is it all is it all sauced or what it's uh it's all saucy ribs unless you ask for no sauce and sauce on the side. We do that, but we don't have like any um any dry rub for the ribs. We've got barbecue sauce or honey garlic, and then um closer to um Canada Day, which is in in July for us Canadians, um, we'll do like a special maple barbecue because maple is very, very oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:57

You got too much of it, you gotta get rid of it somehow.

SPEAKER_01 36:00

Too many free, get rid of it.

SPEAKER_00 36:04

I'm just joking. No, that sounds great. Now that sounds good though. I but I'll tell you, honestly, I always get I always go, just give me the ribs dry and give me a little cup of you know, give me a couple different sauces and then I'll see what I like.

SPEAKER_01 36:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:21

Yeah, because I'm a terrible person.

SPEAKER_01 36:23

No.

SPEAKER_00 36:24

They can't just take things as they come. It's okay. Oh my goodness. But uh if if anybody really wants to listen to this, for me, I mean, you know, static radio, you can just go to staticradio.com and there's all kinds of stuff there. That's all they need to know. They don't need to know anything else. They're it's im it's immaterial.

SPEAKER_01 36:46

But we will put all the details description.

SPEAKER_00 36:49

No, Jasmine, just put the one thing. No.

SPEAKER_01 36:51

Put the one thing.

SPEAKER_00 36:52

That's it. That's all that's needed. No, I went so I wouldn't ask you how long you've been in a waitress then.

SPEAKER_01 37:01

Uh for too long.

SPEAKER_00 37:05

Were you supposed to be were you doing like is this something that you're like, okay, I'm gonna be a waitress, or is it something like I was gonna be an actress and now I've just been waitressing? Or was it something like that?

SPEAKER_01 37:16

Um it was sort of a funny story. I was in actually the IT industry for a long, long time. Um and my I would have never thought that.

SPEAKER_00 37:25

Yeah, never in a million years said IT worker who's who's waitressing. Who's waitressing? Yeah, I would have never not my punch card, nowhere.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

I know. It was so I mean I I even did a degree in engineering, and and it was I feel like I went into it for all the wrong reasons. And that is, you know, when you're like 18, you know, you're going off to post-secondary school, like what do you really know about like the work world? And technology has has evolved so much, that industry has evolved so much that you know there was no way for me to know that you know it wasn't gonna be something that that I enjoyed at the end of the day. And then came a time where I was like, there was a lot of travel, it was really heavy. And um, like they, if they want to find you, oh, they can. They've got your email, they they they can figure out a way like customers can hunt you down. So it was just too much, too, like there was just no boundary between work and your personal life. And my son was really young at the time, and I'm like, listen, like I I want to raise my family, like I can't I can't work 24 hours a day. This is ridiculous. So I eventually left the profession. And the great part about serving is when you leave the restaurant, everyone leaves you alone. So or you hope. You hope, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:50

You hope they see you out in public, hey, can you get me a drink? I'm not I'm not working. Well, that's interesting. But that's great though. I think that the that is um I would say a very mature outlook on things. Because you do. You only got so much time with your kids, right? I mean, I sound like they're they're all dying in their empathy or something. But no, they're not. They're you you believe, you know, you only get so many years, which is not that many, where they're really kind of interesting and they're willing to hang out with someone.

SPEAKER_01 39:25

And you want to hang out with that's the thing. Right.

SPEAKER_00 39:29

When they're little, they're it's like they're forced. Yeah. They they've got no other choice but to be with you. And then they get to a certain age where they like look up to you and they like you, and it's all fun. And then they get a little old and then they're like, I don't want anything to do with you. You're the worst person in the world. You never take me you always make a scene when you go to dinner out somewhere. It's horrible.

SPEAKER_01 39:50

Make me drink lemon soup when it's not like how dare you.

SPEAKER_00 39:53

That's right. And then, you know, they go off and do their own thing, and then they're like, I'm gonna be an IT professional. Like, don't do it, don't. And then they do. And then you never see them.

SPEAKER_01 40:10

Yeah, all hours of the night.

SPEAKER_00 40:12

All hours of the night, exactly. Oh my gosh, this world is so heavy.

SPEAKER_01 40:19

I know.

SPEAKER_00 40:21

But you made a good choice then.

SPEAKER_01 40:23

Well, you know, it just it uh it works for for the family now, and yeah. Life is meant to be fun, you know what I mean? I feel like people take it like so seriously, like, oh, like this is your this is your job, this is who you are, but it's not, you know, like you are who you are. So I don't know if that makes any sense.

SPEAKER_00 40:44

Yeah, no, exactly. I think you're right. It makes good sense. And you shouldn't fight it.

SPEAKER_01 40:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:50

If you fight it, then you're just gonna be miserable.

SPEAKER_01 40:52

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

You can be miserable because other people make you miserable, but you can also be miserable because you make yourself miserable. That's true. So you have to find that balance of not being around the people that make you feel miserable and then not fighting with yourself.

SPEAKER_01 41:05

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 41:06

And being miserable.

SPEAKER_01 41:08

Yeah. Deep conversations between the bitter waitress.

SPEAKER_00 41:11

Oh my yeah, with a cartoon cat.

SPEAKER_01 41:13

With a cartoon cat, I love it.

SPEAKER_00 41:18

That's fantastic though. I would I mean, I think that's great, and you should uh you know do that because you're right. It's it's you know eventually you're gonna get to the point where you know your kid wants to do their own thing, and you don't you lose those years. I go I'm about ready to cry because my daughter's gonna get married, so yeah. Any any day now I'm gonna I'm just gonna sob like a baby. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:43

But you know what? And then before you know it, you'll be a a a granddad, and then now it just starts all over again.

SPEAKER_00 41:50

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 41:52

Well Well, sort of, but then you get to that's part of it because you just get to spoil them.

SPEAKER_00 41:57

Right, yeah. They'll be like, you can come visit, but you can't take him out to dinner.

SPEAKER_01 42:03

That would be what the edict then you're just gonna make him order all his sauce on the side.

SPEAKER_00 42:08

Like that's right. That's right. We don't we don't want my child to see what you do and mimic you. That's what they'll say. No, it'll be all good, I hope.

SPEAKER_01 42:18

Uh absolutely. No. Well, this has been so fun, Bob. I so appreciate your time and all your um wonderful stories um for everybody. Check out the static radio website. Um, to all the listeners, thank you so much for joining us today. And uh check out the Bitter Waitress podcast. I'm on Apple, Spotify, and you can find me on on the YouTube channel. Um, like, follow, and uh we'll see you guys later. Take care, guys. Thank you. Where's where's my check? Where's your check? It's it's uh oh, what table are you? Table seven, right over. All right, bye guys.