Episode 27, Lean into what you want more of

It's easier to lean into what you want more of than it is to lean away from what you don't want. Some thoughts on how to make the most of this principle to have a good summer, and life.

Transcript

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Welcome to June. It's a beautiful month here in Portland. It's that moment we've all been waiting for. It's finally here. Summer has arrived. Yeah. I was thinking today about it's easier to lean towards what you want to do than to lean away from what you don't want to do. That's what today's show is about, I think. Yeah, let's get into it. So I was thinking about this because I know a guy who is uh he he really wanted to quit smoking and he had a hard time quitting smoking. Like he was he was really having a hard time kicking the habit, and he decided that this was because he had a particularly addictive personality, don't we all? So he decided to replace the addiction of smoking cigarettes with another addiction. And every time he wanted to smoke, he would instead smoke pot and go play video lottery poker at a nearby dive bar. And he did that for months. And, you know, I don't he'd never really been like much of a pothead or a gambler, but his addictive personality just took right to it like a duck to water. And he spent a few months, it actually went on for a while, I remember, a few months uh smoking tons of marijuana, just getting blazed, and spending a lot of dollar bills on video poker. And when the haze cleared, he was no longer addicted to nicotine. Of course, he now had a new addiction or two on his hands, but they weren't as deeply rooted or as hard to kick as cigarettes, which are pretty much like the hardest. And uh he's been quit for years now off of the cigarette, so it worked. Quitting any ingrained well-worn habit is tough, and it's often easier to replace a habit with something else. And that same idea applies to addictions like phones and screens. Yeah, I know. When I started this show, I had no idea when I started a few dozen episodes ago that it would end up returning again and again to being about how to spend less time on your phone. That wasn't the original thought, that wasn't the original goal. Um, but spending less time on your phone and your screen, uh I feel like I'm realizing how important they are. I just originally wanted to make a freewheeling show about modern life and hopefully how to live it well and some odd ideas about the experience of uh, I don't know, reality being a human. But I've come to realize again and again that when you think about it, the crazy amount of time that we spend on our phones, our devices, our screens, and whatnot, that is, I think, the defining challenge to a life well-lived right now. Or it's it's definitely one of the main ones. And so where I'm going with this idea is I think it's just easier to choose a positive than to try to abstain from a negative. It's easier to find some new habit or hobby or passion that you like to do and want to do and cultivate that, than it is to just say, you know, I really feel like I should look at my phone less and and leave it at that. Because it works much better to have something that you enjoy doing that you can lean into when you have those spare moments that life is often largely made up of the moments in between other things where you're actually doing something. We can get more sophisticated than just saying doom scrolling is bad, obviously. And I think that I think about ways to actively connect in real life beyond screens. And I think that show that this show has ended up being about that a lot. And I see signs of that happening now of people of people actively building this and choosing this, choosing a more connected, in-person, face-to-face lifestyle. If you squint, you can notice that there's this quiet but steady burbling, bubbling up and of in-person activity and connections and real life connections happening. Just last night I went to a poetry salon that I recently found out about, and it was the hundredth meeting of that group. These poets were meeting in a backyard, and they took turns reading poems ranging from the funny and lighthearted to really pretty experimental out there stuff. And the place was packed, it was just somebody's yard. Um, a beautiful evening here in Portland. Uh, and it was a packed lawn of poetry aficionados there who listened to the readings until it got dark and they had to continue with a lamp and candlelight. And just the night before that, I went to a music show in a basement near my house and felt like I'd somehow tumbled through a hole in time into 2006 when it felt like every other basement in Portland had some kind of noise rock or metal punk show happening in the basement. Right now, the marquees of various bookstores and tea houses are as packed with events as they have ever been: trivia nights and readings and meetings. I suspect that we may be in the midst of a life in person renaissance that's quietly happening. And the thing about a renaissance is they are invisible at first, unless you go looking for them. They aren't going to go looking for you. You have to go find it. That's what grassroots is. In the wild community, in action, you need to look no further than Petapalooza, which is happening now and has several events a day, every single day, all summer long. There's no shortage of opportunities for you to get out there and do something in real life. Touch grass, and there's no better place, there's no better place to do that than Portland in June. Am I right? One of the best things about Portland is the parks. I was struck by how little I saw people on their phones when I was in Mexico earlier this year. And it's because I spent a lot of time out in public places like Zocolos. So what's a Zocolo? Every Mexican neighborhood has a Zocolo, which is a little park in the center of town, usually. Um, often it's in front of the old church or missionary that has been there since the founding of the town. And there's often uh plenty of shade, and there's often people selling tchotchkis and snacks and cut-up fruit and benches for people to sit on and paths for people of all ages to stroll around and enjoy. And it's a wonderful little thing that is in every Mexican town and most of Latin America, at least all the places I've been to. North America doesn't have these Zocolos. But here in Portland, we have no shortage of green spaces. And I feel like they serve a very similar purpose. They are the natural community builders. I would love it if we could actually get some Zocolos installed. You know, every neighbor neighborhood needs one. Alberta, Mississippi, uh, each each neighborhood should have a Zocolo. It's a little different than a nature grass park because it's more, it's hard to explain, but it's more of a there's places just kind of while away the time in public, and and it's uh welcomed usually for people to be like vendors to be there. And yeah, it's just like a hangout space, it's a a green space for sure. But yeah, these are the natural community builders that I think we just need more of, and that we should, as a culture, if we really want to offset and balance out the destruction of having these addictive phones always on us, we need more spaces like that where people can come together, more green spaces where people can be in community around each other. In Fernhill Park, which is near my house, the track gets taken over nightly during the summer by a community of islanders who have some kind of track meet hangout going on most nights of the week. The kids run laps and do various track exercises while the adults just kind of hang out and catch up. You also have the dog park and soccer and baseball are frequently happening at the same time, ultimate frisbee, as well as there's a a weekly hippie outdoor dance collective on Sundays, and a musical jam afternoon that's been happening ever since the pandemic. And I just love to see it. You'll you'll love to see all these people building community and spending time with each other out in the real world. To foster that, we need to continue to foster more parks and more places, more mini green spaces for people to get together. Today, instead of talking about how your phone is bad for you if you stare into the abyss for too long, which I know we've all heard that message, I just want to say look at all the different fun stuff out there. It's Portland in June. It's a lovely time and place to be alive. Make sure to get out there and enjoy it. And a few shout outs to some of my favorite venues, places to go do stuff. Shout out to the Red Fox, which many people probably know about. But right above the Red Fox, there's also a non-alcohol option, Nalu Kava, which is a great place to hang out in the evening. They've got a lovely patio, they often have different events going on. Um, shout out to um my friend's bookstore, Word Virus Books downtown, as well as all the other bookstores in Portland, the small bookstores that often have literary events and uh ways of getting together and connecting. Shout out to the aforementioned Petapalooza. And uh last but not least, shout out to VMAC and Lions Dance Academy, both offering the ultimate solution to getting off your phone. Learn how to dance. All right. That's the show. Until next time, thanks for listening. I'm Anthony Alvarado. You can check out other things that I'm up to at my website, Anthony Alvarado.net. See you next time.