Slow Living as an Ambitious Girlie

Episode 34: In this episode, I’m diving into what it really looks like to embrace slow living as an ambitious woman who still has big goals and dreams. I share why so many of us feel burnt out from constantly trying to perform and achieve, and how learning to slow down isn’t about giving up on your ambition; it’s about creating more intention and sustainability in your life. I give you tangible ways to create more of a slow life when you’re ambitious. If you’ve been feeling the tension between wanting a softer, more peaceful life and still wanting to build something meaningful, this episode will help you find a balance that actually works.

🙋🏻‍♀️ Let’s connect on Instagram @heykaylabowen

Transcript

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What's up guys? Welcome to another episode of Where the Woo Meets the Work. I'm Kayla, your host, also known as Hey Kayla Bowen on the internet. And today I want to talk all about slow living as an ambitious girly. I feel like right now we're seeing a lot online about living the soft life, going more analog, being a trad wife, and a call back to nostalgia for earlier times. And I feel like this is because for so long we were all in this hustle girl boss era. And I think that most of us, or at least a lot of us, are tired of trying to perform and achieve all of the time. Now, don't get me wrong, I am definitely an ambitious girly, which is why I'm recording this podcast episode for you guys. But I'm also at a point in my life where I don't want to be hustling and grinding all the time. There are so many things that I want to achieve, but I also want to enjoy my life. I want to be able to slow down, enjoy the little things, have time with my family and my friends, have time for my passions and hobbies while also building a great life for myself. And I feel like there's this idea that many of us share that we can't slow down. We feel like we can't slow down because there's so much that we want to achieve. And I know that I felt like that for a long time in my life. I was scared that if I slowed down, that I would miss out on all of these opportunities and everyone else is going to be climbing while I'm just stuck not doing anything. But I have realized along the way that if you don't ever slow down, your body might actually force you to slow down. And that's kind of what's happened to me. As many of you guys know, I have an autoimmune disease called Hashimoto's. And unfortunately, I just can't do as much as I used to be able to do. I still have the same drive and same ambition and lengthy list of things that I want to do, but my body just doesn't cooperate and isn't on the same level as my mind is. But even if you don't have an autoimmune disease or anything like that, you still may have this calling to slow down while still wanting to be ambitious and build great things for yourself. So I feel like the real question is how do we balance slow living with being ambitious? Because if you're like me, you don't want to give up on being ambitious. You still have a ton of goals, but you also want to slow down a bit at the same time. And I really think it's about a number of things, like creating space for moments of slowness and peace throughout your day. Sometimes it's just the little things, giving yourself time every single day to slow down and not be on 24-7. And I also think that we should realize that working hard, hustling, grinding, and living slow, having more peace, being more in your feminine energy can come in seasons. Sometimes you're going to probably have months where you're working harder and really pushing. And then you might have months where you're recalibrating from doing all of that hustling, where you really just need to rest. And that's totally okay. And lastly, I think that we need to try to not accomplish everything at once. I think so many of us are guilty of this, where we have so much that we want to do that we try to achieve it at one time. But part of balancing slow living with being ambitious is realizing that we can do all of these things, just not all at once. So in this episode, I'm going to tell you guys all about ways that I am prioritizing slow living as an ambitious girly right now. Let's get into it. Welcome to where the woo meets the work. I'm your host, Kayla. It's time to get out of your head, into your soul, and do the work that lights you up so you can align with your highest self and actually create the life you've been dreaming about. The first thing that I think is so important about prioritizing slow living when you're ambitious is to have slow mornings. Our mornings really set the tone for our entire day. So I've noticed that it has really helped me live a more slow, peaceful life while still being ambitious to carve out the first two hours of the day for myself. You might be thinking that's excessive or that you don't have the time to do it. And maybe you don't, but also maybe you do. Maybe you just need to really look at your schedule. And maybe that involves going to bed two hours earlier and waking up two hours earlier. But for me, it's really made such a difference because I used to be the person where I wouldn't go to sleep until I was dead ass tired. And then I would stop watching TV, which is usually what I'd be doing at the end of the night, and then go immediately to bed and then sleep as long as possible, wake up to my alarm, be in a rush, and not have any time to myself in the morning. And this was not setting myself up for success. And it was definitely not helping me live a more slow, peaceful life. It was contributing to my anxiety. And then when I would wake up, I would immediately have to go, go, go. So now I make sure that the first two hours are dedicated just to myself. So usually what I do is I get up and then I give myself time for skincare. This is something that is newer for me because I never used to prioritize skincare. But now when I wake up, I wash my face, I do my whole skincare routine, and it's been really great. I know it's good for my skin and it's also relaxing and just nice to do something for myself first thing in the morning. Also related to this, I shower the night before. So that way I can have a more slow morning when I wake up because showering, washing my hair, all of that takes a while. After I do my skincare, I usually go on a walk with my favorite podcast or a new audiobook that I'm listening to. I love getting movement in first thing in the morning because one, it's great to get outside, get some fresh air, two, have that sunlight, waking me up, helping my circadian rhythm, and three, moving my body, obviously. So that's pretty much all that I do in the morning for my slow morning. And it's not crazy, it's not complicated, but it usually takes up to two hours. And it's nice to just have my morning start on my terms instead of checking my phone and looking at all the text messages or checking my email and seeing everything that's come through and feeling like I have to rush and respond to all of the stuff. Instead of all of that, I am setting the tone for the day. I'm doing things that fill my cup right away so that way I can engage with the world on my terms and in a better mood and from a happier state of mind and a happier place. So I just feel like that is so important. The next way that I'm prioritizing slow living is by really realizing that I do not need to earn rest. I used to think that I had to be super productive in order to earn rest. Like maybe I would have a week full of appointments and photo shoots and things that I was doing that were productive. And then at the end of the week, maybe I would deserve a day or an afternoon to do something for myself and take it easy. But now I'm realizing I don't need to earn rest. I deserve rest just because. And with this, I try to have intentional white space on my calendar. And sometimes I will even block out space. I will put in like personal time so that way I don't schedule anything in there because I am kind of guilty of doing that. If I see white space, sometimes I'll be like, oh, okay, I have time for this. Let me put that in. But I love having time for myself to do nothing. And it really helps me be more ambitious, more productive when I have the time to rest. So my free time isn't just free for anything. I love when people are like, oh, are you free this day? And I'm like, wait, why? Tell me why first, because just because I have free time doesn't mean that I want to fill it with anything. And usually when I have free time, I want it to stay that way. I like having time for all the things that I want to do that aren't just about work. With this, I also always have one house troll day per week, which I've told you guys about, where I don't have to go anywhere, hopefully, but I definitely don't do my makeup, I don't put on cute clothes, I don't do anything like that, and my goal is to just do nothing. Even though it seems counterintuitive, taking time to rest has really helped me be more productive. So I think it's a great way to balance slow living while being ambitious. The next thing I'm doing is less time on my phone and less time on social media. I thought that this was going to be kind of a hard thing to do, but since I have decided to stop doing my one-year experiment as far as documenting it online and to not be pursuing coaching right now, this has been super easy. I've realized that I hardly check my phone at all when it comes to social media anymore, just because I'm not interested really. And when I do check it, I'm only checking specific accounts that really fill my cup, that I love seeing what they're sharing. I'm definitely not spending time anymore just scrolling endlessly, seeing what people who I used to know are doing, anything like that. But if this is something you're struggling with, I highly recommend putting app limits on your phone. That can be super useful because that way when you open the app, it's not even going to let you use it or not going to let you use it after a certain amount of time. That can be really helpful. But I've noticed that since I've been spending less time on my phone and less time on social media, I've just been a lot happier. I feel like I'm comparing my life to other people less, which is really great. And I also feel like I have more time for in-person relationships. In the past, I would be on my phone more often when I'm next to my husband or maybe when I'm hanging out with my family. And now I just have it completely put away. So I feel like I'm giving more undivided attention to the people that mean so much to me, which is great. I feel like it's strengthening our relationships and that I'm really prioritizing what matters. The next thing I'm doing is enjoying moments of my life without documenting them. I love taking photos of everyday events when I'm getting coffee with friends or when I'm going on a walk or when I'm on vacation, whatever. But I also think it can be a great thing to enjoy some of these moments without feeling the need to take pictures of everything or post about it all of the time to just have those memories for yourself, where it's such a special memory that you just want it to be for you. You don't feel like you have to make it an Instagram moment or share it with other people, or like if you didn't post it, it didn't happen. So now I'm trying to be more mindful when I'm with people to do that. But I will say that I do have a very bad memory. So taking photos for me is really helpful because sometimes I'll have people say, Oh, do you remember when we did this or this trip? And I literally don't remember it hardly at all. But when I take photos, it really helps me remember everything that we did. So I think with this, it's more so about like you can document the memories for yourself, but maybe just have no intention of sharing them online. I'm also creating content when I want to instead of feeling like I have to, which has been such a relief and has really contributed to slow living for me because before I felt like I always had to be documenting and creating content. So I wasn't truly living. I felt like I was just living to post on social media, which is so sad. But now I'm just creating when I want to. And I actually would like to start creating more content more regularly. So I need to figure out a good system for that. But I feel like I've gotten a lot of my life back from not worrying about creating content so much. And if you are not a content creator or a business owner where you have to share content online, you may not know what I'm really meaning. But if you are, you totally know what it's like to feel like you have to document every moment of your life for social media. And I feel like it's also hard with that because when I was documenting my one-year experiment, I was spending so much time making these reels and content pieces that I know are just completely disposable. Like after 24 hours, no one's really going to see them. So I'm really trying to spend my time in more purposeful, lasting, meaningful ways. And I do want to create more content, but I don't want to spend so much time making it when I know people are not going to appreciate it after a day. The next thing I'm doing to live a more slow life is choosing long-form content over short-term content. What I mean by this is instead of scrolling social media and consuming 15-second or three-minute reels, I am trading that for watching longer form content like movies or TV shows, things that actually use my brain and where my attention span isn't shrinking rapidly. You could also watch YouTube videos instead of social media, but I really prefer to listen to podcasts. That is my long-form content of choice that I love listening to. And also with that, when I'm listening to podcasts, I make sure to listen to them at their normal speed. I do not speed them up. I know a lot of people listen to them at like two times speed or whatever. And I think that's kind of crazy. I feel like I listen to this one podcast where I'm always checking and making sure she's not at two times speed because she speaks so quickly, but that's just how she speaks. But I understand the desire to do that because you think you're consuming it quicker. So you'll have more time, you'll be more productive. But like, why? You know, why do you need to consume it so quickly? Why can't we just listen to things at their normal speed and consume them as they're meant to be consumed? The next thing I'm doing to live a slower life is taking time to respond to text messages or DMs and not feeling bad about it. Everyone might have a different take on this, but for me, this is really part of slow living for me. It really helps protect my peace. And it's just a boundary. Sometimes I will take days to respond to friends, and it is nothing personal. It's just that I'm either hyper-focused on something else, or I'm busy, or I'm really tired and exhausted, and I'm just not in the mood to text. So it takes me a couple days, sometimes a few days, to respond to my friends or even to my mom. And I think most people are hopefully okay with it. And I hope that they don't take it personally because it's really not because I do this to everyone. But I have noticed that some older people who I text, I think they get slightly offended by it, like they think I'm ignoring them and I'm really not trying to. But I just want to share this one with you guys because it's just a boundary. There's nothing wrong with it. And you can even tell people in your life if this is something you do. Just tell them, hey, just so you know, I take a little bit of time to respond. It's not you. This is just how I engage with texting. And then the last way that I am balancing slow living as an ambitious girly is to have go-to ways to relax and unplug every day. If I'm being honest, one of the main ways that I unplug on a daily basis is by watching reality TV with my husband. I love reality TV shows. It's something that I got into during the pandemic and I haven't stopped doing since. And I used to feel kind of embarrassed about it, like it's trash TV, I shouldn't be watching this, I'm not learning anything from this. But that's kind of the point, you know? That's kind of the point of slow living sometimes, is that you don't always need to be learning. You just need to be enjoying. And that's exactly what I do with reality TV. I just enjoy it. And the fact that my husband likes to watch it with me, it's a great bonding activity. So right now I am still watching Below Deck. If you watch that, you know what I'm talking about. And a new season of Love on the Spectrum is out. So I'm also watching that, and it's so cute. I love it. You guys should really give them a try. But besides that, another one that I'm trying to do more of is getting in bed early and reading a book instead of scrolling. I am not great at reading physical books since I discovered audiobooks because audiobooks are just so easy. I can listen to them when I'm on a walk or when I'm cleaning or when I'm driving. So that's why I love audiobooks so much. But I would like to read more books, and I think doing that before bed would be such a good habit to pick up. But something I'm really enjoying doing for having go-to ways to relax and unplug on a daily basis is picking up new crafts. This can be as simple as coloring, like an adult coloring book. Amazon has so many different options, or it can be as complicated as knitting or pottery or woodworking, whatever you're into. I actually just bought a couple kits for cross-stitching, which I'm really excited about because I've never done that before. And I also bought some blank cards from Amazon and some watercolor pens because I would love to make some cards for people. I feel like that's such an easy craft, but fun at the same time, and things that I can give to other people because I do not want to start doing crafts and then have a ton of crafts in my house. I'm not a minimalist, but I definitely do not like clutter at all. So I'm trying to focus on crafts where I can gift them to people. And the next craft that I really want to start up is crocheting. I'm super excited for that. I used to crochet and knit in college, but it's been a bit. And my friend sent me a crochet kit that I'm going to start, and I've been eyeing some other crochet kits on Amazon that I think I'm going to buy a couple. There's this one collection, like brand called Wobbles. I don't know if you've heard of it, but they sell cute little crochet kits of like different figures that you can make, but they're so expensive. They're like$40 for one little kit. So I don't know. If you have any good crochet kits or maybe like YouTube videos of crocheting for beginners that you really like, please send them my way. Those are the tips that I have for you guys today, all about slow living when you're an ambitious girly, because I don't think it needs to be one or the other. I think that we can live a slow, peaceful, meaningful life while still being ambitious and having big goals for ourselves and wanting to achieve them. If you enjoyed this episode, I would love so much if you could share it on social media and tag me at Hey Kayla Bowen or send it to a friend. That really helps the podcast grow and lets me know that you are enjoying these episodes. Thank you so much for listening and I will see you guys again same time, same day, next week.