Ep.42. A Magical Life After Adoption - Interviewed by Pam Sandrock from No Knockouts

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Instead of a traditional story episode, I’m sharing a powerful interview where I was a guest on the No Knockouts Podcast with Pam Sandrock.

At first, I hesitated to share another interview. I wondered if my audience might get tired of hearing my story. But then I remembered something important: no two conversations are ever the same. Just like no two snowflakes are alike, every interview reveals new layers, new perspectives, and new pieces of the journey.

In this conversation, we talk about my adoption story, resilience, healing, and how sometimes going back to where our story began can unlock the freedom to move forward.

Inside we talk about: 

✨ Being adopted from India & growing up in a loving adoptive family
 ✨ Returning to India as an adult and visiting the orphanage where my story began
 ✨ Releasing years of stored trauma, abandonment, and unanswered questions
 ✨ How healing old wounds can create powerful ripple effects in your life
 ✨ Starting my podcast and following intuitive “yes” moments
 ✨ My work helping people declutter their homes and untangle mental clutter
 ✨ Manifestation, abundance mindset, and saying yes to unexpected opportunities

A Powerful Moment from the Episode: During my return to India, I visited the orphanage where I had once lived. Sitting with the assistant director and sharing my life story became one of the most healing experiences of my life.

In that moment, I realized something profound:
 I didn’t need all the answers to move forward.
 I just needed to release the weight I had been carrying.

Sometimes healing isn’t about finding every missing piece.
 Sometimes it’s simply about letting go.

Stick around until the end of the episode for a fascinating conversation about my birthday.

Because I was found at a train station as a toddler, my official birthday was estimated by doctors based on my age at the orphanage. Over the years, that led to an unexpected journey involving intuition, human design, and even discoveri

Transcript

Speaker 5 0:00

Hi everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Organized Chaos Stories with Shabana. I'm your host, Shabana Knight. I'm so glad you're here. I cannot believe it's March today. Was spring forward, a little daylight savings time, and also International Women's Day. Shout out to all my amazing women friends, near and fr. I just got off a Zoom call. Of a group that I'm in called the Expansion Room. They are running a free seven day trial. It's a spiritual alignment and business focus group. I joined this online community back in January and absolutely love it. The coach on there is Jennifer Liss. My link for the group is in the show notes. Use it. Try the seven day free trial, and if you like it, stay, it's$27 a month and worth all of it, and it's less than$7 a week. There are always replays and it is such a supportive OneFire community for practical business tools and spiritual growth. Even if you're not spiritual, you'll just feel better being in this amazing community and then onto the show. Okay, so this week's episode, I was hesitant to air because yes, it is another episode where I am interviewed. And while I did have that. Internal fear of what if my audience is sick of hearing my story? Well, I realized just like no two snowflakes are the same. No two interviews have ever been the same and always bring out different parts of my story. And I know every time I release a podcast, the hope is someone new will be listening and or another part of my story will be uncovered and it will hit a different way. So I was like, I'm going to share this interview because it was powerful as I re-listened to it a few times before posting it. I got the honor and privilege to be on Pam Sand Rock's podcast. No knockouts, life will knock you down, but not knock you out. I hope you enjoy this episode and have an amazing weekend. Oops, I mean week. Love to. You all know that I believe in you and cheering you on. Enjoy this episode.

Speaker 2:07

Hey everyone. Welcome back to the Nok Knockouts podcast. I just recorded a conversation with a lovely lady, her name is Shabana Knight, and she was openly sharing about her adoption story and it's a pretty incredible story. And we finished recording and we got all the way to the end and we were talking off camera after we had stopped recording, and I was like, wait a second. You should have shared this during the episode. So we decided to hit record again and record an additional. Five to 10 minutes or so, and that is added on at the very end of this episode. So once it's all done and complete, stay for a few more minutes and listen to her talk about her birthday, which is a pretty interesting story. So stay tuned. This is episode number 42, Shabana Knight on Organized Chaos, A Magical Life After Adoption. Welcome to No Knockouts. I'm Pam, your host. We all get knocked down, but you don't have to get knocked out. Let's build resilience and go on this journey together. As we navigate life. Explore fulfillment beyond being comfortable. And transform ourselves, end our life into what we really want. Pull up a chair, buckle up, or put on those headphones. And let's do this. Shabana Knight. Thanks for joining me on the Nok Knockouts Podcast. Can you start out by introducing yourself? Tell us a little bit about you.

Speaker 2 3:41

Yes. Hi. Everyone. Thank you Pam for having me. My name is Shabana Knight, like Pam just said. I am from the Pacific Northwest. Um, I am a mother. I have three teenagers. I have been married for 18 years, and I'm an adoptee from India. But we'll get into my story in a little bit. I also have a big heart for cleaning and decluttering. That's my part-time job along with many other things that we will dive into in this episode, I'm sure.

Speaker 4:12

Yeah. I love having you on. I do wanna say that you have a podcast called Organized Chaos, and tell me a little bit about that. How do you come up with stories? Are they based on your personal life? Are they based on your decluttering and cleaning? Tell me more about that real quick.

Speaker 2 4:29

Yes. Um, I just launched my podcast back in September. It's called Organized Chaos Stories with Shabana, and it was one of those things where, um, I just have always wanted to have a podcast and I. Just kept on dragging my feet and then I finally did it, and then it's just, it's all about just one of the, one of those podcasts that you can just listen to weekly where you just want to feel inspired. They're just little short stories of my life, and they're just encouraging and motivating. They're true stories. The ones I release on Mondays, they're called Manifesting Mondays, and they're just literally just things that I have manifested. There was this one, for example, one of the stories were, um. We had moved into the house that we're still living in now, and I really wanted like new carpet and new paint and like our budget would not allow it. And then literally a couple months later, my husband was on a business trip and our toilet like overflowed while we were sleeping. And then it turns out that our insurance company ended up paying for like our whole house to get remodeled completely. And so I got my new paint and new carpet, and the house got completely redone. So it, it's just, it's one of those things that it's just seeing all these desires that I have put out and have watched manifest through my life and put into story form. It is. It's pretty, it's pretty amazing. And then the other stories are more like just different downloads that I get that I put into my podcast or interviews that I've been on other people's shows or people I've had on my show that are inspiring and uplifting. So

Speaker 6:10

yeah, I find it really interesting. And I dove into your podcast a few weeks back and one of the ones I stumbled upon, which is really interesting, it's number 23, and your title is about. Um, not staying small and following the fun, but at the very beginning of that episode, you talk about being adopted and I just find it really interesting. I know adopted pe, I know people in my life who have been adopted, but I don't even know their stories. Like I just know they're adopted. And you kind of dive into yours a little bit. Would you mind sharing some of that?

Speaker 2 6:44

Yeah, of course. Like I love my story so much, like. I, um, okay, so I'll just start from the beginning. Beginning, but yeah,

Speaker 6:57

wherever you're comfortable. And I don't want you to, I don't want you to share something that's, you know, off limits, but whatever you're comfortable bringing to the table, it is just really interesting.

Speaker 2 7:07

Yeah. I think every adoption story is so unique and so amazing and so, um, transformative when, we, let, those parts of us be shown, when we're comfortable. I mean. So my story starts in India. I am two years old. It's a busy train station. I'm with my brother. My brother's two years older than me, so I'm two, he's four years old. And it's a busy train station, like I said. And we look around and we realize there's no guardian with us and a police officer finds us. And, um, he also gathers that there's no guardian with us. And he, um. Puts us in an orphanage and we're in an orphanage for about a year and a half. And then eventually we get adopted out and we grow up on the east coast in the same family. And then eventually, um, you know, I graduate from high school. I go to school in Texas, eventually meet my husband, and then we end up getting married. Um, now we live in Washington State'cause that's where he's from. But like, and then last year at this time, I ended up. Going back to India and like seeing my culture and seeing the orphanage where I was from, and it was just this like big healing journey, um, that a couple years ago that I had fundraised for and just all, all these different things and just it, all of it was just amazing. Um, and so I've done a lot of healing and soul work and processing through it all. Um. Yeah. That's like,

Speaker 8:46

okay, so let me stop there'cause let me get this. All right.'cause this is a lot to absorb. You and your brother, you're two years old, he's four. Mm-hmm. You've apparently been dropped off in a train station, right?

Speaker 2 8:57

We were at a train station.

Speaker 8:58

You were at a train station. You don't even know how you got there.

Speaker 2 9:02

Yeah.

Speaker 9:02

But a policeman. Mm-hmm. Some does whatever he does. And you end up in an orphanage. Correct. And you live for about a year in that orphanage. And you have an adoptive family, adoptive set of parents that are here, that are in Texas, is that correct?

Speaker 2 9:19

No. Uh, Baltimore, Maryland

Speaker 9:22

is Baltimore. Okay.

Speaker 2 9:23

So it's an international adoption.

Speaker 9:25

Okay.

Speaker 2 9:25

We come to the US and we grew up on the East coast and then grow up in Baltimore, Maryland. And then after high school I ended up going to school in Texas.

Speaker 9:36

Okay. And

Speaker 2 9:36

then. Uh, meeting my husband and then, um, he's from Washington State and then now I've been here for 18 plus years. So,

Speaker 9:44

do you remember coming to the United States? You were very young. I, you know,

Speaker 2 9:49

our

Speaker 9:49

memories aren't gonna be great.

Speaker 2 9:52

So we have like, um, we have like the pictures of like when we arrived at JFK airport and there's like a picture of me like trying to struggle. Like my adoptive mom is like, Hey, you gotta like put a coat on.'cause we arrived at January 4th, 1989 and we're exhausted and tired, you know, like jet lag and like, we've never. Seen like winter coats before and we're like putting it on and um, we're giving like, um, they giving, they gave us stuffed animals and stuff like that. It was like, welcome gifts and stuff like that. And um, so we have like those pictures and they had kept the Christmas tree up. So like the first pictures of us being home is me and my brother, like sleeping on the couch and like there's the tree lit in the background and stuff like that. So there's all these like. Picture memories that we have, but no, I don't like remember, remember

Speaker 10:48

how did you and your brother get here? Did you have a guardian type person fly you across?

Speaker 2 10:52

Yeah, so, um, one of our, like caregivers from India flew over with us and then, um, like met my parents in the airport kind of thing, exchanged whatever paperwork and. Exchanged us over and that that was it.

11:09

And

Speaker 11:10

you moved on with life. Yeah. You just, you got, you got handed over in an airport.

Speaker 2 11:14

Yep.

Speaker 11:14

So what are some of your earliest memories?'cause it's you and your brother and a mom and a dad, correct?

Speaker 2 11:21

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 11:21

What are some of your early memories, because that's all you know, right? It's very normal for you. Uhhuh

Speaker 2 11:28

a a lot of it is, um, I mean, at the, at the time, my, my dad had one of those really old school, um. Big, like, uh, like VHS recorders, like the, like the black ones. Um, so we have a lot of like childhood memories, like that way. So, I mean, they were, they were so happy. Like, I had my Barbie dolls. We, we shared a bedroom. We had like our twin beds and stuff like that. We had lots of friends we lived in, we, my mom still lives in the house that we grew up in, so we have like, um, like the row homes and the sidewalks and, you know, we, we rode our bikes and we had lots of friends and it was a very happy childhood. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 12:08

Like,

Speaker 2 12:09

you know, my dad would work, my mom stayed home. Um, it was honestly like your picture. Perfect. Childhood.

Speaker 12:18

It sounds like, it sounds like, you know, the American dream kind of thing. E

Speaker 2 12:22

exactly.

Speaker 12:23

So when did you first realize you were adopted? Was this something they told you about early or later?

Speaker 2 12:30

Honestly, I, I don't remember, but I, I don't remember it ever being a problem. Like it was just one of those things, like even in kindergarten, like. Like I knew, like my mom was not my skin color kind of thing, but it never, I think she's always been my mom. I like, there's always been like, this is my mom. I love her, she loves me. There's never been like, oh, you know. My adoptive parents have always loved us unconditionally, nonstop from the start. And even when we were in the orphanage, um, there was always like, they would always write letters to us and building that relationship and stuff like that. So there was always that connection and that love and that commitment there from a very like. Ever since the beginning. Um,

Speaker 13:20

I have chills. I have chills. The amount of love and gratitude I bet they have for y'all is just tremendous.

Speaker 2 13:26

Yes.

Speaker 13:27

So

Speaker 2 13:27

they're amazing people.

Speaker 13:29

I bet they are.

Speaker 2 13:30

Yeah.

Speaker 13:30

So do, and you said you just went back to India this past year? Yep. Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 2 13:36

So

Speaker 13:36

was that your first time ever?

Speaker 2 13:39

So I did go back. Um. When I was, I think I was like 20, but it was for like a church group. It was like a missions organization type of thing. And it wasn't the right area and it wasn't like, for me, it was just like a church thing. Um, but this was the first time I would say I would back. For me, it was for. Like we did, I went with me and my friend and two other like family friends. And then we joined a tour group. We went for 10 days. And then at the end of the trip, the four of us, flew down to Pune where the orphanage was, and then, um, spent the night at the hotel. And then the next morning, we. Got like a taxi kind of thing and then went to the orphanage and spent like two to three hours there. Saw it, and then at the end I got to sit with the assistant director for like an hour, just the two of us. And oh my gosh, it was just so amazing. She's just like, tell me everything. Tell me about your life. And she just sat with me and I just was crying and crying and crying. And then I just got to tell her about my life. Um. And then we had to go, oh no, we had lunch there. They served us lunch. And then, um, we had to go and get ourself and fly back to the US kind of thing. So it was a whirlwind, but it was so healing and I felt so complete. I'm like, I'm good. Like,

Speaker 15:04

yeah. That's what I was wondering. Like what, I mean, I can imagine, but I don't wanna, I don't wanna assume too much. Like why did you go back? What were the unanswered questions? What felt open in you? That you were hoping to get like answers or closure for? What was that drive?

Speaker 2 15:21

So back in, I think it was 2017, there was a movie that came out called Lion, and it was about a boy it, a boy that was Indian who was at a train station. He gets separated from his brother. He ends up in an orphanage. Um, he gets adopted out and then in his twenties he is having all these like feelings and sensations and he is like, oh my gosh, I need to go back and see my culture. And in real life, he ends up actually finding his mom. And when I saw that movie I was like, this movie is like a 90% match to my story. And I was like, I have to go back. I have to do that. So that movie triggered in me my story and. I started fundraising and saving money and I saved like$10,000 to make this trip happen. Then COVID hit and then well, you know, everything was shut down and life was lifeing and I had like all this money in the bank waiting, uh, for me to go on this trip. And then at this point. I had everything except I didn't have anybody to go with. And so I just literally started like asking everybody that I knew. I was like, do you wanna come to India with me? Do you wanna come to India with me? And everyone's like, um, you're crazy. But like, uh, like it was, you know, it's a huge commitment to ask someone to spend a bunch of money to come on this soul journey with you. Um, and then some family friends were like, um, we'll consider it. And so they ended up coming and it was just. Amazing. And they helped me with all the details because that the details and that stuff is not in my wheelhouse. It just was amazing how everything manifested and fell into place with that. And then I had a good friend come with me who was like, yes, I've always wanted to go. And she was my roommate on the trip and how that all fell into place and, um. It was just like, oh my gosh, we're actually going, this is actually happening. Um, and how, just how well the orphanage wanted to communicate and wanted us to come and stuff like that. And then at the end of the trip when basically when we got back, um, we gave a like$3,000 back to the orphanage. So it's just like, anyway, so. I think the desire came from the movie, but it also was seeing how little that boy was in the movie.'cause he was about the same age as me and my brother were when he was separated from his family at the train station. And then at the time my kids were that age and it was like, how does this happen? And what the heck? And then just seeing, thinking like I was that age and how are like, just like just all of it.

Speaker 18:08

Like, how do you even absorb it?

Speaker 2 18:10

Yeah. And, and like all the things we know of just how trauma is stored in the body and like processing it and like all the stuff I've carried for so long, it's like. In my mind, I'm like, if I don't get there, I'm gonna continue. Like obviously you can release trauma without actually going to the place and releasing it, but I knew for me, like I needed to go there to smell it, to see it, to feel it, to release it. And I knew that was my like next best step. And so I just had to do it.

Speaker 18:43

So what did you release? What did you let go?

Speaker 2 18:46

Oh my gosh. I feel like stepping into the orphanage and seeing everything, I feel like I just released years of like guilt and shame and abandonment and like layers and layers and layers of lots of like fear and anxiety. And hurt and shame and rejection. I think a rejection was a huge, a huge release. Um, a lot of like, feeling unloved and unwanted. And I, I know that my parents did, whether it was on purpose or not on purpose or whatever. Whatever happened happened and we got separated from our family, whatever, whatever. Um, but, um. Obviously our actions leave scars on people. And, um, I'll always love my fa my, my family, my birth family. Um, but it doesn't mean it wasn't painful and it doesn't mean, um, anyway, so just choosing to be, um, to just let go of whatever stories. I believed and, just reclaiming that I, I am powerful and I can stand on my story and not be stuck in the victim mindset and stuff. And I just, I feel like I lost like 10 pounds just being in the orphanage of just like crying my eyes out.

Speaker 20:19

Yeah. As I sit here and listen to you, I, I, so many things are coming to mind. One, like, I'm so proud of you in so many ways. Like one, just being open and public about it. Two, being honest with yourself, to know what you need and to just acknowledge all those words that you said. You know, your fear, your abandonment, your rejection, just acknowledging that is a task in itself and then doing something about it. The follow up is sometimes just as hard as the acknowledgement and I guess I'm just proud of your brutal honesty'cause that's what it took. You know? Yeah. And then after you were done, as you were closing those doors, leaving the orphanage on, on the plane, ride home, whatever that is, I, were you proud of yourself?

Speaker 2 21:11

I was so proud of myself. I was like, I like can't believe we did that. Like I had my friends with me, but at the same time I was like, I did this. I've been wanting to do this for like. Five plus years in that. And it finally happened and it was so much completion and relief. And I didn't know, like at, at when I first had planned everything, I was like, I wanna find my family, I wanna do this, I wanna do that. But after just being at the orphanage and releasing all the things I released and connecting with the lady and seeing everything I was like. That's enough. Like I am completely complete. Like I don't have any more questions. I don't have any more desires, like I'm complete and this, this is enough kind of thing.

Speaker 22:00

It sounds like if I'm, I'm, what I'm hearing from you is you one, you know, you healed through that, but it feels like you can really progress forward in life now. It feels like this was baggage that was holding you from yourself. No one was holding you back. It was what you were carrying. Is this accurate?

Speaker 2 22:18

Absolutely. I have thrived so much in the last year. It's absolutely wild. Like just starting a podcast, I my like friend life and social life has exploded. I feel like my kids are doing amazing. My marriage is doing so much better. It's this massive ripple effect of, and also just trusting myself more and like increasing money, um, making money and stuff like that, and like my creativity and my energy. Like it's amazing when we let go of. The things we're holding onto, like

Speaker 22:58

Yeah, a lot of time. You know, this is the No Knockouts podcast and I'm rooted in resilience. You know, we talk, I talk a lot about coming back and committing to rise.

Speaker 2 23:06

Yes.

Speaker 23:07

And I feel like often we have to crumble and fall apart in order to come back together to

Speaker 2 23:16

rebuild

Speaker 23:16

and, and I don't wanna label you as being broken or fallen apart, but you had to go back to the rubble. Absolutely. You know, there was a site of disaster. Mm-hmm. That's not the right word. There was a site of things, not, not complete. You know, there was rubble and you had to go back there in order to rebuild. And like you said, reclaim yourself.

Speaker 2 23:36

Yeah.

Speaker 23:37

So you're more energized, right? You're more energized to be in your own truth.

Speaker 2 23:43

But I mean, if you think about like anything, like when you wanna like rebuild a house or rebuild anything, like, um, the school up the road is 40 years old and this summer they're finally gonna knock the whole thing down and like be, build this new, beautiful new, um, middle school. But you have to like completely demolish it and remove everything to rebuild like some, and literally I just turned 40 like recently kind of thing. And so it's like, it's just. You know, leveling it all out and rebuilding. Like you just, you have to, it's

Speaker 24:17

like new chapter, let's go.

Speaker 2 24:19

Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 24:19

You know, new chapter, let's turn the page, let's get going here.

Speaker 2 24:22

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 24:22

So you're from, right now, you live in Washington, but you grew up in Maryland.

Speaker 2 24:27

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 24:28

How did you meet your husband?

Speaker 2 24:31

Um, so I did a year of community college.'cause originally I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. And then when I did my year of community college to do like my basic, to get my like aa, um, degree and stuff like that, I was like, um, this is too much. I just don't even like school. Like this is just too much. And so I ended up doing a year long internship program in like, like. Bible classes and stuff like that down in Texas. And the first year, you're actually not, you weren't allowed to date. It was like very like strict rules and stuff like that. So no dating, no secular music and a bunch of other rules. I don't really remember. So the first year was that, and then the second year you were allowed to date if you stay on leadership. And so I stayed on leadership and. Um, I had a bunch of like, previous relationships before that and so, um, the first year I really like got clear on my like, relationship with God and. What I believed in and what I wanted in a future husband and relationship and stuff like that. So I had told God, I was like, when I like see the person I'm gonna marry, like you have to tell me like this is the person I'm gonna be with for the rest of my life. I don't wanna like joke around anymore. Like I want, like I want commitment. And so my friend's like, Hey, I am going to the airport. Do you wanna come with me? I have to drop my friend off and then we can hang out for the day. And I said, sure. So she comes to my door and she has this other person with her, not the person she's taking to the airport. And she's like, oh, this is my friend David. He works with us. I'm like, oh, hi. And I was so annoyed. I was like, who is this kid? And then we go to the airport, we drop off the other friend, and then it's the three of us hanging out and like. At, at lunchtime, and she's like on the phone and raising support and I'm sitting across from this person and God's like, oh, this is the person you're gonna marry. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. He's from Washington State. That's too far away. But he was like, really cute. And I had always thought that like church boys were like ugly for some reason. And like, uh, and I was like, he's really cute. He has a great personality. And I was like, kind of like, oh, okay, maybe. Um, and then, um. I don't know. It, I, I just, I just decided that I wouldn't like, pursue him and that if he really was the one that he would like eventually ask me out and I would just like be patient. And so eventually he asked me out

Speaker 27:03

and it worked.

Speaker 2 27:05

And it worked.

Speaker 27:05

It worked. Yes. Did y'all lived in Sep separate places though?

Speaker 2 27:10

Yeah. So, um, by the time he did ask me out, we were on our third year of leadership. So I was up in Minnesota opening up the sister campus and he was still in Texas, so we had a, an 11 month courtship. Um, so it was like long distance phone call and snail mail and all that old fashioned stuff. Yeah. So that was, um, that was good because he had read a book from Joshua Harris called I Kiss Dating Goodbye. And if your listeners don't know what that is, it's like a commitment to like abstinence and purity. And he like took that to the extreme and he was just like, Hey, just so you know, like I really feel like God is saying like no physical touch at all until we make it to the altar. Like no holding hands like nothing. Wow. And like, uh, okay. Um, if you like, feel strongly about this, like I'm gonna support you and love you, you know. Well, I didn't use the word love, but I was just like, I'm gonna support you through this. So the first time we like held hands and did everything was like on our wedding day at the altar in front of everyone. I was like, oh my God, I can actually like touch you and hold your hand. Like that was amazing and everything else that day. So that was really good and worked the weight kind of thing. Um. And then like of course a couple months later, I was pregnant right away, obviously. Um, so that, that made life very challenging, very quick. And oh my gosh, what, what are we doing? But

Speaker 28:42

that's really interesting. That takes me back to, you said snail mail and how you used to have to call like long distance or after hours, so it was free, all of that, it just takes me back. Um, so organized chaos.

Speaker 2 28:58

Yes.

Speaker 28:59

Tell me a little more about this. How did you get into the decluttering? Because I love to declutter. I love organizing. I do, I'm fixing to clean out my closet later today probably. Yeah, because it's, it's hot here. We're turning from winter to summer real quick, like, um, mm-hmm. So is, is that just fun for you?

Speaker 2 29:15

Um, it's, it's both. So, um, when we, when we first moved into, okay, so we got married and then. With having the three kids and I had originally like wanted to be a kindergarten teacher, I ended up going down the route of always, um. Working in daycares and stuff like that so I could bring the kids with me. So one of the last daycares I was at, one of my coworkers was like, Shabana, like you're really healthy. Will you help me to lose weight? So I encouraged her and stuff like that, and by just by encouraging her, she lost like 40 pounds in like a healthy, safe amount of time. And I was like, oh my gosh. It seems like if I actually got certified and was a personal trainer, I, could actually do this. So then we moved into this house, and then I end up being a personal trainer, and that's like an amazing story in itself.

Speaker 4 30:07

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Speaker 2 30:31

And then after I become a personal trainer, I end up, becoming a house cleaner and I help people start decluttering and organizing. And that's like another story that like I manifested and stuff like that. It's just something I just, everything just keeps weaving and my life is just so magical. I just, I can't get over it. So that's just another thing. And so now I offer to my clients that I will like get on a plane and stay at your house for two to three days and help you like declutter your house kind of thing. So I have lots of different avenues where I love and serve and support people through many things.

Speaker 31:10

To me that is, it comes more natural to me. But do you find some people just don't really know how to do it or they can't decide about it? Like

Speaker 2 31:19

Oh, absolutely.

Speaker 31:21

Tell me more about that. Because like, to me, I'm like, I don't want this. I'm getting rid of it. You know, it's just clear cut to me, but people aren't.

Speaker 2 31:27

Yeah. And I think that's why there's a whole like organization and profession and a whole like business out there that people like, like I said, like that's, that's my job where I come to your house and help you declutter and organize. Not you per se, but, um. Because that muscle hasn't been built yet in them because they grew up in an environment that was so stressful and chaotic and dis dysfunctional and disorganized. And it really is, um, like, you know, people go to school to be therapists or, um, personal trainers or psychologists or whatever. It's just that, it's just that, that muscle that hasn't been used.

Speaker 32:08

So I always think that like when my house is in order even, I mean even the smallest things like my drawers or my car, when the, when I'm in or when I'm in order on the outside, I'm more in order on the inside

Speaker 2 32:22

100%. And then there's so much psychology behind that because. I don't even, I feel like I can't even explain it'cause my brain's like, I guess disorganized at the moment. Yeah. That's hilarious. But that's lot of why, that's why like, I feel like my podcast is organized chaos because all of my stories are kind of like chaotic. But then I put like an organized, like, thread through it, like when I wrap it up at the end of my stories and stuff like that. But, um, just order is so important and so. When, yeah, when we're organized on the outside, it reflects the inside. And then when our inside is, is disorganized, it reflects our outside. So it's like a mirror, just back and forth, back and forth. Um, but a lot of times the wiring isn't, it's like, just like yarn all like, or like, you know, the headphone drawer where it's everything's, everything's tangled up and stuff like that. And people are just walking around with all this like. Spaghetti brain like this, and then it, it's filled out in their entire house and they're like, somebody else untangled this, please.

Speaker 33:28

It's mental clutter and physical clutter. They're, they're the same thing, just in a different location.

Speaker 2 33:34

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 33:34

Yeah. So,

Speaker 2 33:35

and then let's taught them how to, to untangle it

Speaker 33:38

in some of it's decision making. Like we're so overloaded with having to make decisions in our daily lives. You don't wanna come home or spend your weekend deciding, do I wanna throw out this pair of shoes? So it just sits. Mm-hmm. And, and I, but I also think that it is. What would you call it? Like it, it builds exponentially, like once you start, it just keeps building and it becomes sort of addictive.

Speaker 2 34:02

Yes, it does it and it's so freeing. That's the thing. It's like you a lot of times. Uh, if you haven't built that muscle, you need that coach there to say, all right, let's do this together. Let's set a timer for 15 minutes and let's get it done. And then you're just helping your client and you're coaching them through. Because a lot of times when I, when I help my clients, it, it's, it's therapy, it's coaching, it's teaching. Um, and then they feel amazing and you're like, yeah, let's go. Like, it's such an exciting process to help them through it. And see them through, like, it's so transformative.

Speaker 34:38

You said something earlier in the podcast about, um, or maybe this was before we hit record, but you said something about how you store things in the body. You know, you store emotions in the body. This. I feel like you could tie that to your clutter and your disorganization and your home too, because if you're, uh, if you're storing heavy emotions in your body, you definitely don't have the space in your home to deal with it either. And so I feel like symbolically, if you get rid of something sort of meaningful, like I, I don't wanna put a label on something, but like, maybe you have an old comforter in your closet that's just sitting there and you're never gonna use it, but you like it from years ago, taking something bigger or meaningful and discarding it. Yeah. Can be symbolic for releasing things from our soul too.

Speaker 2 35:23

Absolutely.

Speaker 35:25

How do people feel after you get'em organized?

Speaker 2 35:27

Oh my gosh. They feel so, they feel free, more free, more alive, more energetic. Those are like mainly like the biggest things. And they feel, they feel so relieved. And they're so joyful and so happy. And then most of the, because I have a minivan, I usually put all the seats down and I'm like, all right, give me all your stuff. And I just load up my van and take it straight to donations. And they're just, they're like ecstatic. They're like, this is amazing. And I always, it's always so important to take before and after pictures.'cause a lot of times people don't, they're like, oh no, we won't really see a big difference. I'm like, no, trust me. Take before and after pictures. Um. It's like, it's so transformative.

Speaker 36:12

That's what I was fixing to say is transformative.

Speaker 2 36:14

Yeah.

Speaker 36:14

So a thread that I've noticed with you just from our conversation today is you tend to say yes. You tend to follow what, because you could have said no so many times to what you have just brought up all your different things going to India, um, you know, meeting your husband, all of the things you could have said no to your podcast or no to decluttering or all the things. But you have said yes even when it's chaotic. Is that true? Do you relate?

Speaker 2 36:45

Absolutely. Yes. So I was gonna do a post on this earlier this week, but. Well, I guess I said no to one thing this week. But, um, so a couple weeks ago I was thinking, I was like, I wanna make more money. And then I walked into a store and the guy goes, who does your social media? And I said, I do. Why do you ask? And he goes, well, I'm looking for someone to run our social media Instagram page. And I said, okay, tell me more. So he's like, well, I just want a couple posts a week, blah, blah, blah. I said, great. Let's have a conversation. So then the next week we, I went in and I had my list of questions, got them answered from him. We had like a, an actual meeting and then I like dragged my feet for a week and then made a proposal. And head chat. GPT helped me a bunch and, um, submitted it and now I'm their marketing person. I've never done that before. No way. But I'm like, let's say yes and let's see what happens. So I'm like, I just made my first post last night and I'm like, Hey, make that

Speaker 37:54

money. No way.

Speaker 2 37:55

Yeah. So this is more of me saying yes.

Speaker 37:57

Yeah, this is full of synchronicities. A lot of people would say, and I would too, like some of this stuff is God given. Um, wow, that's, that's really something because you, you knew this man ahead of time, right? He had seen your posts.

Speaker 2 38:11

Yeah, so I knew him, but the catch is I wouldn't have gone in if the Amazon go store didn't close and I didn't have to return something for Amazon go at his like, shipping store.

Speaker 38:22

Oh my gosh. Like, you can't make that stuff up. Yeah. And your podcast is full of stories like that. So, uh, just a little shout out to that podcast. Um, a lot of times on the, on my, on my podcast on No knockouts, I like to talk about like, resilience, and I like to ask my guests what's, what resilience means to them. And we don't have to dive into that, but what kind of things knock you down? Like in resilience, a lot of times people say it's what you bounce back from. Okay. Hmm. Um, but what kind of things like knock you down?

Speaker 2 38:57

I don't like when you have to like, read too much on a, um, on like a website where like things aren't clear and it's like, all I wanna do is fill out the form, but where is the form? Mm-hmm. Like, I don't like when there's too much information on a website that like irritates me. Like I'm trying to sign up my kid for something and I cannot find the right link. And I'm like, I've given up like four times. I'm like,

Speaker 39:27

yeah. Where you have to scroll like 10 times just to get to the bottom. That is frustrating. Yeah.

Speaker 2 39:31

And you can't find the link and you're like, have supposed to do it like two weeks ago.

Speaker 39:35

Yeah.

Speaker 2 39:35

Um, so that really, really frustrates me slash knocked me out and, um. I really, I mean, yes, we should pay taxes, but I that like whole stuff of like being organized and like, I just, I don't like. I don't like paperwork and like that type of logistics stuff.

Speaker 39:54

Yeah.

Speaker 2 39:54

I like physical organization, but I don't like computer organization stuff.

Speaker 39:59

Got

Speaker 2 39:59

it.

Speaker 40:00

Alright. On a daily, how many kids do you have? Three.

Speaker 2 40:02

I have three teenagers.

Speaker 40:04

Oh my gosh. Three teens. Yeah. That's a rough one. Yeah. Um, I'm a little ahead of, yeah, I have two college kids. Um, so what do you do to stay strong?'cause motherhood alone is hard, much less all the other responsibilities you have. What do you do to stay strong that like keeps you elevated? How do you build yourself up?

Speaker 2 40:23

I go to Zumba'cause that's fun. I do that like once a week with my best friend. I like to take naps. Those are fun. Um, but honestly, like this morning I got like, I dropped the kids off at school and I got to go back to sleep for an hour and then like scheduling fun podcasts like this, I was like, I love my life that I get to just jump on a phone call and record and have like juicy conversations with people. So it's, it's things like this that make me so happy.

Speaker 40:51

Yeah, I couldn't agree more. I love to just sit and have girl talk. I don't, as long as it's deep. I don't like small talk very much. I'd rather go deep.

Speaker 2 40:59

Oh yeah, for sure.

Speaker 40:59

I mean, we jumped right, jumped right into your adoption story. How can it, how can that really, wow. Okay. And then do you have a favorite Bible verse or quote or mantra that like, resonates with you or you commonly rely on? Does something stick out to you?

Speaker 2 41:18

I guess this just popped up. This is on my, um, desk. Um, I love, because of my background, I feel like I struggled a lot with, um, um, like a poverty mindset. And so a lot of the last, like I would say, five to 10 years, I've been really working on my wealth consciousness and my money mantra. And so this one is really good. It says, wealth is my birthright. I'm done playing small, I'm taking my power back and claiming it all money, clients, payments and aligned opportunities fine me because my energy is open to receiving it all. And I've been in a lot of like Bible verses and. Um, all that stuff. And I know I feel like a lot is like, oh, like don't be greedy. And I know that it doesn't like, I dunno, things like that. But I also, in the church world, I feel like we don't talk enough about, like, I feel like I didn't hear enough of like God's abundance and how. Um, having good wealth and stewarding it. And now it's like I wanna combine manifestations, God's abundance and using that, um, to bless myself, my family, and give to charities and like not live in like a poverty mindset and just more abundance and claiming that.

Speaker 42:45

Yeah. So you're looking to make money and not hoard it. You're willing to make others Yeah. Other people's lives better too. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 42:51

Yes.

Speaker 42:52

So you're saying yes to wealth and abundance?

Speaker 2 42:54

Yes. Yes.

Speaker 42:55

Let's bring it. Let's get it, girl.

Speaker 2 42:58

Yes.

Speaker 42:58

All right. Before we close, thank you for joining me and sharing your story. I have really enjoyed this. Thank you so much. Thanks. You're welcome. Tell everybody who's listening, how they can find you or connect with you.

Speaker 2 43:11

I want people to listen to my podcast more, obviously. Again, it's um, find me on Apple Podcast, Spotify, and other platforms. Again, it's organized chaos stories with Shabana. And then, um, follow me on Instagram. It's just shabana Do Knight with a K and send me a message if you want.

Speaker 43:32

Yep. I'm gonna spell that. It's, it's S-H-A-B-A-N-A-K-N-I-G-H-T. So y'all go look for Shabana. Again, thanks for joining me and being a guest on the Nok Knockouts podcast and thanks for listening, everybody. Have a nok knockouts kind of week and I will talk to you next time. Bye for now.

Speaker 2 43:51

Bye.

Speaker 43:55

So do you know anything about your birthday? Like was all of that recorded with. The paperwork that they brought on the plane, like how did that go? Because you were just kind of found in a train station. Do you know anything?

Speaker 2 44:12

Yeah. No. So, um. When the police officer found us and passed us over to the orphanage, um, they basically, when we got the to the orphanage, um, they, um, you know, you get your physical by the doctor and they have that on record. So they basically just looked at our teeth and going off of our teeth. They guessed our age and they just. Gave us a birthday when we arrived at the orphanage. So I just got the day that, like the day after we arrived, whatever that date was, which was September 22nd, um, 1984. So that placed me at two years old. So that's what those were our, like, you know, you have to have, uh, birthdays for legal documents and purposes and stuff like that. So those were our given birthdays at the orphanage. And then, last year I went to the Bloom retreat. Okay, this is kind of, okay, I have to back up a little bit. Okay. So last year in February I went to India and at the time I had, um, gained some extra weight prior to that trip and my wedding ring did not fit. And so I had been wearing just like a simple ring'cause I wanted to wear a ring when I travel and stuff like that. And, um, we end up going to this fancy jewelry store and I was like, I'm not buying anything'cause this stuff is really expensive and I've always. Already spent a lot of money on this trip and, but I'm drawn to this like one ring and the tour guide's like, no, like go ahead and buy something. Like you deserve it. Um, I'll help you talk down the price. So he helps me talk down the price and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna buy myself something. So I buy myself this gorgeous ring. I'm like, that's right there.

Speaker 45:53

Wow.

Speaker 2 45:54

Um, and I'm like, oh my gosh, it's so gorgeous. And so I buy it and um, then I go on the Bloom retreat. And we're talking about human design and everything. And since I don't know my birthday, Alexander Cole, the one facilitating the conversation about human design is like, just go to the group that sounds most like where you would fit in. And I was like, all right, I sound more like manifesting generator, blah, blah, blah. And then, that evening, one of the ladies in the group is like, oh, do you wanna, like, do you wanna go out to dinner? And stuff like that. And she had could tell that, like, that was a very, like, interesting conversation for me to be having because I didn't have a birthday. And she, like, I think she, she was just had a lot of compassion for me that day because it was a lot of energy and a lot of, um, deep conversation. She was so sweet. But we were talking and stuff like that. And it was through that conversation with her and another lady at the retreat that I, we kind of just like decided that my, my birthday, my real birthday was gonna be April 22nd. Which is interesting because this ring has 22 diamonds on it, and April birthstone is diamonds. And there's 22 diamonds on this ring. So it was just like so ironic or whatever we wanna say significant that this ring represents my, my I chosen birthday, um, that I had just gotten in India, but more recently, which now my husband's like, now you have three birthdays. I'm like, I can't explain it, but it is what it is. So do you know what, uh, dowsing rods are? I

Speaker 47:40

don't think, oh wait, are those the ones where you, they point right or left? Yes. Yes. Yes. You would like, it tells you the truth if something is truthful or not?

Speaker 2 47:49

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 47:49

Okay. Explain a little bit more'cause you know more than I do.

Speaker 2 47:52

Okay. So, um, if you've ever played with like, like a pendulum

Speaker 47:57

mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 47:58

You know what those

Speaker 47:58

are? Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 47:59

Yeah. So they're like the same thing. So they just conduct energy? So like one way's? Yes. One way's no.

Speaker 48:05

Okay.

Speaker 2 48:06

Okay. Um, those are like these. Those things.

Speaker 48:09

Yes.

Speaker 2 48:10

So, but you just hold them like the dowsing eyes, like you said, they like, you hold them in your hand, but you really have to be like tuned into like God or Spirit or whatever. You can't just like use them like flippantly.

Speaker 48:23

It's not like a magic eight ball.

Speaker 2 48:25

Yeah. It's not like a magic eight ball. It's not like a ooh whatever. But so. Obviously you can just order them off Amazon. That's where I got them from. But you have to like channel in and be in the right energy and stuff like that before you use them, before you ask them questions and stuff like that. So, uh, one day, like in my quiet time or whatever, I was like channeling in and just, um, like. Talking to like my spirit team and stuff like that. And then I was like, I don't even know what questions I wanted to ask. And they're, and they were kind of like, you gotta ask better questions kind of thing. I was like, okay. I was like, when's my birthday? And you're supposed to ask yes or no questions. And so I finally was like, was I born in the month of January? Was I born in the month of this? And so I went through the whole calendar and I finally hit a month. Then I finally went through, you know, all the dates and I finally got a date. And so then I took that, that month and that date and that year, and I put it into human design and I got a time too, I put it into human design and then I put the chart into chat, GBT, to read it for me. And I kid you not, it could not be more accurate. And it wasn't my given birthday or my chosen birthday. It's a new birthday. And I am so blown away. So apparently my new accurate birthday or whatever is January 16th, 1984, around the time of 7:30 PM and like, I'll never know, but like reading this chart is blowing my mind. So it says I'm a generator. I think it's a six two. But it would be interesting if I could get Tracy, um, hill to actually read it for me and like, help me. But like as I'm reading it, my mind just keeps like. This could not be more accurate.

Speaker 50:09

Yeah. Let me butt in here and say, Tracy Hill is a specialist in human design and I did have her on my podcast a while back. I can't remember the episode right now, but I'll link to it in my show notes. Um, and she also has her own podcast called A Beautiful Fix. So if you don't know what human design is, yeah, I really, really suggest that you learn a lot about it. It has told me so much about myself, and obviously it has you too. Mm-hmm. So did you say you're a generator?

Speaker 2 50:35

Yes. And so like some of the things, it's like build, create, sustain, master things over time, light up when you're doing the things you love. And then this is also like you're not meant to chase clients, forced launches, initiate from the mind, and like just all these things are so on point. I, I just,

Speaker 50:59

yeah, I agree. I, I would've, when you look at human design, or at least this is my experience mm-hmm. I thought I was something, I thought I labeled myself as one of the types, and then I put in my actual birthday and all the information, and I was not that at all. I wouldn't have picked what I was, what it labeled me as. But then when I drove, when I dove down deep into it. I, that is exactly who I am. I'm a projector and Okay. You know, when you go into like, um, the area you're supposed, you're, you're the area you thrive in and mm-hmm. All the different energies that you have and what you need to do your, to be your best self. It is so spot on for me. Yes. And so I just, I learned a lot about myself and it made me accept myself. As who I am as. As opposed to being like wrong. You know? It's like Exactly. Oh my gosh, I was made this way. I didn't choose this. Yeah, I'm made this way.

Speaker 2 51:55

It's such validation and healing and like acknowledgement. It's like, oh

Speaker 52:01

yeah, so what birthday are you gonna celebrate going forward?

Speaker 2 52:04

Oh, all of them

Speaker 52:05

that miss? Happy birthday, queen.

Speaker 2 52:07

Thank you.

Speaker 52:08

Yeah, you can party year round. We can make up a birthday every month if you want to.

Speaker 2 52:13

I guess it like, it literally is like every, like every season I got my fall birthday, my winter birthday, and my spring birthday. There you go. I'm enjoy it all.

Speaker 52:21

And then hopefully your kids have birthdays in different months and you're just big celebration.

Speaker 2 52:26

Yeah, pretty much they do.

Speaker 52:28

Thanks for sharing that. Um,

Speaker 2 52:29

yeah, so it was just really neat and then. I turned it into like an email and I sent it to my best friend and she like read it all. She's like, this is all you. And then I also realized like, um, I'm a Capricorn and I was like reading all that. I was like, this is so me, like oh my gosh. Because on when I did human design at the retreat, um, I got manifesting generator and I was like, oh yeah, this is me. But now reading the generator one, I'm like, oh no, this is more me. It's so, it's so interesting.

Speaker 53:00

It is. Well, hey, thanks for sharing that.

Speaker 3 53:02

Hey, you. Yes, you. Thank you so much for listening to Organized Chaos Stories with Shabana. If you love this episode as much as I did, hit that subscribe button. Leave an outstanding review and share it with a friend who needs some inspiration. Thank you for being part of this community. Remember, in every bit of chaos, there is always a story waiting to emerge. Who knows? Maybe sharing your story might inspire others to share theirs. The possibilities are endless. Let's live in the possibilities.