Born To Be Her
Born to be HER is the podcast for women who are ready to rise into the life they truly desire. This is your space to remember that you actually can—despite the stories you carry, the self-doubt you’ve battled, or the old patterns that try to keep you small. Together, we’ll explore how to hold your shadow with compassion, transform it into wisdom, and step boldly into the vision of a life that feels expansive, aligned, and deeply yours.
Because you were Born to be HER.
Born To Be Her
Part 3: When Knowing Becomes Action
Imagine if self-trust didn’t arrive after success but grew because you moved before you felt ready. That’s the heartbeat of today’s conversation: turning inner knowing into aligned action, one honest decision at a time, even when courage feels wobbly and the outcome is unclear.
We recap the core of our self-trust method—spotting the patterns that make us abandon ourselves, then reconnecting with the quiet truth underneath—and push into the step most of us resist: doing the thing. From rolling out the yoga mat on a flat day to pressing go on a first international retreat, I share how micro commitments create real evidence that you can hold yourself through discomfort and delight. We talk detaching from outcomes, not by pretending not to care, but by proving you can carry whatever unfolds without betraying your original yes.
You’ll hear how honouring energy and boundaries keeps your path clean, and how simple practices—meditation, movement, and journalling—amplify the inner signal above fear’s static. We go deep on support too: why mentors, healers, and brave friendships can be the difference between staying stuck and stepping forward, and how heart-led investments often mark a life’s turning points. Finally, we widen the lens with yoga’s invitation to trust something greater, letting nature and ritual restore perspective so the next step stops feeling like a cliff and starts feeling like a path.
If you’re sitting on a decision, consider this your nudge: the smallest aligned action counts. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs a gentle push, and leave a review to tell us the one step you’re taking today. What’s your next yes?
Hello, welcome back to another episode of the Born to Be Her podcast. I'm your host, Fanilla Wiley. Thank you so so much for being here. If you're an avid listener, you'll know that I've taken a couple of weeks of a break in between episodes, and that is because life has just simply been so full. Since the last episode, we have packed up our apartment in Sydney. We have gone travelling for a couple of weeks on the west coast of Australia on our way home. And at the point of recording this episode, I am currently sitting in my living room in my home house. It is snowing outside. The universe has certainly not eased us in with the weather, but it is so so beautiful to be home. It is so so incredible to introduce our daughter to all of the people who are already so mad about her. And it just feels so special to be back. I am definitely gonna do some episodes on our move home, what has supported me with that, knowing that so many of you who listen are expats as well. And even if you're not an expat, there's probably some big transitions that you've moved through in life, and I know some of the things that I've been reflecting on will be lessons that will be supportive for you regardless of whether you're an expat or not. But anyway, that is for another episode. This particular episode is part of a three-part series. So this is the final episode in a share that I've been bringing to the podcast around the methodology that I use with my clients when it comes to building a relationship of self-trust with ourselves. So if you haven't listened to the past couple of episodes, I definitely invite you to go back and listen because they will be almost like the precursors to this one. As a little brief overview, the first episode of this series, I talked about how to recognize where we stop ourselves from building self-trust. So the patterns that we might hold, the habits that we might have, where we are almost like abandoning ourselves in a way that stops us from really being able to trust in our knowing, trust in the decisions that we're making, all of the things. Then the next episode, I spoke about how to build a connection with our inner truth and how that allows us to know who we are, to know what our desires are, to know how to make decisions, to therefore feel like we can really, really trust in ourselves. And so those are almost like the two first steps that we can take in being able to build this relationship of self-trust. And self-trust is, of course, something that we all desire to have more of. Something that I love that yoga talks about is how self-trust goes way beyond our trust in the universe or trust in something greater than ourselves. Whilst yoga does talk about that, Ishvara Pranidana, this ability to trust in something greater than ourselves, it also really gives us all of the tools that we need in order to be able to trust in ourselves as well as being able to trust in something external. And all of the tools that yoga gives to us really allows us to know that we have absolutely everything that we need in order to do that. That really yoga gives us these tools and these practices that give us a way to expand in our capacity and therefore our ability to trust within ourselves regardless of what life is throwing at us. And I wanted to speak to the final kind of steps in being able to build this relationship of self-trust today. And one of those things that is really important is actually taking aligned action with the voice of inner knowing that we have. So when we are aware of our desires, when we are aware of who it is that we truly are, when we are aware of the decisions that we want to make, that we don't then sit in that spot of knowing all of those things, but staying stagnant, staying in a spot where perhaps we are holding ourselves back from doing whatever the thing is that we're being called to do. Whether that is that you are right now in a spot in your life where you know the thing that you need to work on is to build a loving relationship with your body, or perhaps the thing that you know you need to do is to evolve in your career path, or do something new in your business that is inviting you to expand further into your gifts. One of the greatest ways that we can begin to build self-trust is to honour our commitments, is to actually follow through with the things that we say we are going to do. Not to say, oh, I should do that thing or I will do that thing when I'm ready or after X, Y, Z, then I will allow myself to have that thing that I really want, and instead to notice the voice that is guiding us to where we're meant to go, to trust that the timing of that desire of that inner truth is now, and to follow the action steps that are leading us to what it is that we want. Not that we have to do the biggest or the scariest thing straight away, although maybe that is true for you, but that there are little micro decisions that we can make every single day that are starting to allow us to trust in ourselves, to back the things that we're saying that we're ready for or that we want or is true about us. And when we don't do that, that is the thing that stops us from trusting in our ability to do the things that we want. And this is a really interesting thing for us to reflect on because we can wait to have the self-trust after we do the thing, or we can wait till the moment is right and we feel like there'll be this thing that happens, or this time that happens, where we've got enough self-trust to be able to go for what it is that we want. When actually that power lives within us, that ability to cultivate self-trust lives within us because it is in the taking the action that we receive what it is that we really desire. And sometimes we actually have to take the action first in order for our mind to catch up with the reality that we were actually always ready to do the thing. Sometimes it's really impossible for us to believe that to be true before we've taken the action towards what it is that we want. So maybe you have to take the step in your business before you've got the evidence that you can trust yourself inside of that decision. Maybe you have to step onto your yoga mat every single day to prove to yourself that you actually can build a relationship of trust with your body, whatever it might be. So perhaps there are some things that you can reflect on right now, some spots in your life where you can start to think about where there may be actions that you could take, where there could be little micro decisions that you make on a day-to-day basis that are allowing you to remember that you have your back, that you can trust yourself inside of the things that you really want. And the reality of this is that it doesn't always feel comfortable. Self-trust is not always this journey that feels like it is soft or gentle or easeful. You know, even in a simple practice like showing up to our yoga mat every day and building a relationship of trust with our body, there will be days where you do not want to do that. And of course, this doesn't mean that we have to be perfect all of the time and we don't fall off the bandwagon every now and again. But in those moments where you choose to roll out the yoga mat anyway, where you choose to step onto your mat and be in discomfort even though you don't want to be there, those are the really powerful moments where you get to build self-trust in a deeper and deeper way so that you know that you can hold yourself, that you've expanded your capacity to have your back regardless of whether it feels easy or not, in the desires that you have to follow the path that is meant for you. And it's in those little micro decisions that we make to do the thing where we are then able to hold ourselves and trust ourselves regardless of what the outcome is as well. When we allow ourselves to take the action, to trust in what it is that we're doing, to follow the desires that we have, we can start to become less and less attached to however that thing that we're doing pans out because we know that we have the capacity to hold ourselves through whatever that outcome is. We've trusted in the inner knowing, we've trusted the voice that is guiding us to where we're meant to go. And then we also trust in ourselves to be able to hold whatever that looks like in the future part of whatever the desire is, because of course we can't know what that's going to look like. So that is the very first thing that is really important whenever it comes to moving towards that place of self-trust and taking action is really reflecting on that ability to be devoted to whatever it is that you desire, to be in that place of taking action, of being committed to the things that you're being called to do, and to allow that to be a daily practice, something that you come back to again and again and again, to listen to what that inner voice is guiding you to do, and then inviting yourself to show up to whatever that is, even when it's not convenient, even when it feels hard, even when you don't want to, because in that you are backing every single part of yourself and what it is that you want. When I booked my very first ever retreat overseas in Bali, I was fucking terrified. The opportunity came by like magically by chance, but of course, I was working in a studio. I had shared with the owner that I was really considering running a retreat overseas, and that I had a real desire to do that. And long story short, she had a deposit put on her property that she didn't get to use because of COVID, and then because she ended up having twins. And when I shared with her that I wanted to run one, she was like, Oh my god, you should use my deposit on this incredible property in Bali. So I sat with that decision for probably a bit too long, and she kept like nudging me about it and asking me about it. And every single time I came back to my desire around it, I knew that it felt like my truth. I knew that it was calling me. And so the very first thing that I did around that was I trusted in that desire and I booked the retreat. I had no idea in that moment if it was going to work out. I had no idea who was going to sign up. I had no idea what the retreat was going to look like exactly. But all I had to do was trust in that initial inner knowing that I had that retreat was calling me to say yes to it in Valley. And so much magic that I couldn't even begin to tell you has unfolded from that one decision of listening to my inner knowing. And the reason that I share that example is because, like I said, it's not always convenient, it doesn't always feel easeful, it doesn't always feel like it is just this beautifully aligned experience, and therefore we can trust ourselves and we just know that it's right and we know that the universe has our back and blah blah blah. What actually is true is we trust in the knowing and we trust ourselves to hold through ourselves through however that thing pans out. Whether that path that we are about to go on turns out to be easy or challenging, or things flow into place magically, or they take a little bit of work. And having now ran four retreats, I think it is, in Bali, some of those moments have been so magical and beautiful and useful, and felt you know so in alignment. And there have been times that have, of course, been challenging. There are so many things that we navigate when hosting a retreat internationally, and I can see in all of that that there have been potent, incredible lessons that my soul is meant to move through along the way. So we can always trust in the voice that is guiding us to where we are meant to be, regardless of what the outcome is. And as I shared, there has been so, so, so much magic in that decision to run a retreat in Bali, more than I could ever even put into words. When I try to share about the magic that happens on retreat, it often feels absolutely impossible. And I reflect back on that version of me that sat on that decision that kept feeling into whether she was going to go ahead and do that thing. And I am so proud of her that she listened to her truth and she said yes, that she trusted herself enough to book that initial spot inside of that retreat and trusted herself to hold herself through however that panned out beyond that very first decision. So self-trust is something that we have to choose to do again and again and again through the micro actions that we take, through the ways that we show up for ourselves inside of our life. And another thing that I wanted to speak about inside of this was honouring our energy, honouring what feels like a yes, honouring what feels like a no, honoring where it is that we're being invited to set boundaries in our lives and being able to take action that looks like it is in alignment with however that feels for you. Every single one of us has our unique vessel, our unique body, our unique heart, our unique soul, our unique energetic system that is literally designed to take us to where we are meant to be. And if we allow ourselves to listen to its inner guidance system that is always there, that is always leading us to where it is that we're supposed to go, then we will always be stepping further and further into our own divine path. It may take us to where we think it will, or it may take us to somewhere entirely different, but it is always going to connect us more deeply with what is true, and therefore with that place of being able to trust ourselves because when we are on our own divine path, we are no longer guided by anything externally, and we are simply rooted deeply inside of ourselves. And so I share all of this today as a reminder to you that you can always trust in that voice that is guiding you to where you're meant to be. You can always be rooted inside of whatever feels true for you. You can always trust that that is exactly where you are supposed to be in life. And so maybe if there's somewhere where you are holding yourself back right now, or maybe if there's somewhere you've where you've been stagnating on a practice that you know that you're meant to implement, or perhaps there is something that you're saying, oh, that'll be a 2026 thing, I'll start that in January, that instead you can begin to commit yourself to the things that are calling you right here, right now, whether it's to book the experience or to show up to your yoga mat or to do the thing in your business, that you really allow yourself to let that voice of knowing be your guide in every single move that you make in your life, even if it feels challenging right now. If this episode invites you to do something, to honor your yes, to honor your no, to build a practice, to do something new in your business, please come and let me know there is nothing that I would love to hear more than how this podcast is supporting you. And I can't wait to be back in here with you again soon for another episode. And building a relationship to your internal world looks different for everyone. And maybe there's a period of trial and error for you if you're not sure what allows you to connect more deeply to your body, to your truth, to what is real for you. Maybe that looks like carving out a meditation practice and sitting down daily in quiet and solitude and sitting with those big questions around what is your truth and what it is that you desire. Maybe it's a yoga practice that when you move energy and when you move your body, you start to really feel that sense of clarity inside of your mind. That definitely feels true for me. Maybe it's that you journal and you ask yourself some deeper questions that allow you to again tap into what your own inner truth is. All of those things can just really support you with knowing the path forwards. Doesn't mean that it feels suddenly easy, but it certainly means that you are able to hold that truth inside of everything else that may be coming up for you. One thing that I have really reflected on in my ability to hold the truth of my inner world and to be able to create the things that I want to create in my life in this season as well has been the relationships that I have inside of those transitions and the support team that I have built around the transitions that I've moved through. And this season was no different. I knew that in creating shifts and changes in the business that I wanted to continue to have in early motherhood, in envisioning the birth that I desired and the pregnancy that I wanted to have, that I was going to need a really beautiful support team around me inside of my relationships and also in some of the investments that I made. So I made some investments in business coaching. I've always found it to be so incredibly supportive inside of my business to have a mentor or a coach who can really help me to bring the vision that I have to life to hold me accountable inside of that, to help me to work through any mindset barriers or things that are coming up for me in order to step into the next evolution of what my work looks like. So I had business support. I also had an incredible team around me whilst I was pregnant. So I had a chiropractor who is also a kinesiologist who is also, I don't know what the actual title of this is, but a functional medicine guru. So she gave me adjustments to support my body to be in alignment for birth. She supported me with supplements and vitamins, which I have learned is so incredibly important for this season when your body is wildly depleted after all of the things that it's been through. And she also supported me energetically with anything that was wanting to be cleared through kinesiology. I worked closely with my energy healer, with my Reiki teacher throughout my pregnancy to support me to feel really in alignment and also to be able to continue to work inside of my business right up until a couple of weeks before I was due, maybe even a little less than that. And I also hired a doula. I know that doulas can be seen as a bit of a luxury during pregnancy and birth, but I can hands down say that if I hadn't have had the doula that I hired for my birth and also for postpartum, that I would not have got to experience the birth that I had, which I'm going to talk about in a later episode. And so you can hear that I made quite a lot of investments to be really supported inside of this season. And also the personal relationships that we have in our lives are really important when it comes to moving through change and transitioning in a way that we desire in our lives. Because it's really difficult to hold a vision and to step into a vision of what we want if we feel like nobody else around us gets it, or that nobody else around us really believes in what we believe in to be true, or that nobody else around us is supporting us in what we want, because ultimately, not always are the decisions that we are making or the life choices that we are choosing to have something that makes sense to everyone. But it is really important that we can feel like we are supported through the changes that we are making and that we intentionally carve out relationships that allow us to feel that particular way. And this has been an edge for me in many ways in becoming a mum. This is a season where it is so important that you allow yourself to lean on support from the people who love you maybe more than ever before, and to ask for what it is that you need. And so that has been an edge and a learning curve for me, and something that I am continuing to expand into as much as I possibly can. And this is often a tricky edge for many of us. It may feel easier to invest in things that are practical or that give us an immediate result. It might be easier to invest in things that give us satisfaction straight away, or even things that are going to support other people in our lives. And if investing in support for yourself feels like a real tricky edge, perhaps there is something for you to reflect on inside of that. Of course, we're not always in a season where that is possible for us. And when that is the case, looking at the relationships and the support teams that we have in our lives can ultimately be the most powerful work that we do, and maybe the first step that we take towards allowing ourselves to be more deeply supported. But if it's possible for you to have support in your life, then what could that look like? And what kind of support do you need to allow your vision, to allow your reality to be the thing that you're actually leading? I have made investments in my life that have literally made my toes curl, my stomach do a million belly flips as I have pressed the button on sending that investment towards a coach or a mentor that I have invested in in the past. And I have never ever regretted any one of the investments I have made that have felt like they are deeply calling me. I hear this all of the time whenever clients are investing in coming on a retreat, for example, with me, that it felt really edgy for them to make that investment because it was something that was just solely for them and solely for their evolution. And yet, one of the most incredible things that they have ever done for themselves. So when we think about investments that we are being called to make that are really led from our heart, that are really led from that place of knowing that it is the right thing that is going to support us to do and to receive what it is that we most want, then how can you allow yourself to have it? I know that it can feel like we should be able to do all of these things alone, or that if it was the right time or if we were ready, we would be able to make the transition, make the shift by ourselves, and that is just not always the case. And the last thing that has ultimately allowed me to step into this transition with trust, with groundedness, with clarity in what I wanted it to look like, with the ability to stay steady inside of my vision of this next season of my life, was trusting in something bigger than myself. Was that knowing that I have and that I hold that I am always being guided in every single aspect of my life, even when I don't know what my business is going to look like on the other side, even when I'm not sure what it's gonna mean for my lifestyle, even when I don't know what moving home to Ireland is going to mean for many things that will shift and change in that season. The knowing that when the desire is there, that I am always being guided and that I can absolutely trust that. That has been something that has been wildly supportive for me and some of the big decisions that I've made in my life. In the moments where I chose to leave my full-time job and trust in my business and the knowing that I had that it was the work that I was meant to be doing, in the ability to leave my job whenever I was working at home and move across the world for a season of travel. And now in this new season of becoming a mum and the shifts and changes that are happening inside of that. When we can allow ourselves to trust in something greater, it really allows us to listen to the voice of our soul rather than be guided than the voice of our fear. Building a relationship with something greater than you does not need to look fancy in any way. Maybe it is allowing yourself to be outdoors more often and just to be in the beauty of nature. There is something about being in nature that really reminds us of just how incredibly magical the world is and how much possibility there is when we are reminded of the fact that we are literally just a tiny speck in this whole entire universe. Maybe it is building a connection to an energetic practice. If you love going to Reiki or if you love practicing yoga, maybe there is something that becomes like a bread and butter practice in your daily life that allows you to trust in something outside of yourself or trust in something greater than you. And when you can build that connection to your soul, to your essence, to that place of knowing that you're being guided, it will allow you to keep taking steps forwards. It will allow you to keep moving in the direction of where you are supposed to be. So, whatever transition you're moving through right now, wherever it is that you're being called to make a shift, to make a change, to step into a new season of your life, I hope that you can allow yourself to be supported. I hope that you can really build a connection to your internal world. I hope that you can remember every single day that the things that you desire would not be calling you forth if they weren't meant for you.