Born To Be Her
Born to be HER is the podcast for women who are ready to rise into the life they truly desire. This is your space to remember that you actually can—despite the stories you carry, the self-doubt you’ve battled, or the old patterns that try to keep you small. Together, we’ll explore how to hold your shadow with compassion, transform it into wisdom, and step boldly into the vision of a life that feels expansive, aligned, and deeply yours.
Because you were Born to be HER.
Born To Be Her
What Helped Me Choose Home After 9 Years Abroad
We unpack the tug-of-war between staying abroad and moving home, and share how values, intuition, and both-and thinking created a grounded choice. We explore practical tools to process change, design timelines, and trust desire without demanding perfection.
• living with both feet in one place as a grounding practice
• using a one-year runway to process endings
• values as a decision compass for family, freedom and work
• meditation and yoga to separate intuition from mind chatter
• trusting the both-and instead of chasing perfection
• embodying desire and building capacity for change
• designing work around lifestyle and location fit
• questions to test alignment and reduce second guessing
If perhaps you have just moved home and you are seeking connection and community, then I would love to invite you into my upcoming retreat in Greece, which is happening in April over Easter next year. If you have questions, please come and DM me.
Hello, beautiful human. Welcome back to another episode of the Born to Be Her podcast. This topic that we are going to be diving into today is one that I know will be a big one for so many of you listening. I am recording this episode in my home house. We have arrived home just under a couple of weeks now. Oh my god, it'll be two weeks tomorrow when I say that out loud. Time is literally flying in as it always is. Um, once you have a BA, I feel like I don't know what happens, but it's almost like someone presses fast forward on your life. Um but yeah, I wanted to record this podcast today because if I honestly had a dollar for every time I've had a Reiki client or a coaching client who comes in to a session with the intention of receiving clarity around whether they want to stay living abroad or they want to move home, then I would be a wealthy lady. I know this is such a huge topic for so many of us. And honestly, if you spoke to some of my friends, they would definitely tell you that I have been going home ever since I moved to Australia for the past few years. Like I think that I spent the first probably five years of my nine years in Australia saying I was moving home next year, and I know that there will be many of you listening to this who can resonate with that reality. Um, and then someone said something to me that really made me think about the way I had been leading my life and the desire that I had to feel really grounded and rooted inside of myself and how I was actually just making that really difficult, which was you can't live with one foot in one country and the other foot in another country. You have to decide that you're living where you're living and choose to be wholeheartedly there until you make another decision. And that advice was something that really spoke to me, really resonated with me, and also really supported me to shift the way that I was living my life abroad because it's true. Constantly thinking about where we should live in the world once we have moved to another country can feel deeply ungrounding. It can make it feel like it is really difficult for us to actually feel like we're at home in the country that we're in. And of course, that can be also true if you have moved home and you are then constantly thinking about the country that you lived abroad in previously. So there's a little nugget before we dive into this podcast episode today, because that advice helped me to be really present over the past, I would say, about four years of living in Australia until we made the decision to move home. And I wanted to speak about that decision that we made and what allowed me to hold myself inside of that decision, having made it about a year before we actually moved. And if you're in a spot right now where you're thinking about making the decision to move home, maybe there will be some things that I've implemented or ways that I've thought about things that may be of support to you too. So I really hope that this episode can allow you to, yeah, have some things to mull over and chew on and perhaps start to explore inside of yourself that might allow you to, yeah, make a decision that feels best for you. So let's dive in. So given that I had made the decision to keep both of my feet firmly planted in Australia for the next couple of years after receiving that advice around not having one foot in one country and the other in another, I knew that I wanted to build my business in Australia. I knew that I was very content there. I knew that I was, you know, loving the lifestyle that we had. I was really content in the work that I was doing. Like everything felt like it was beautifully in alignment. And then whenever we started to talk about starting our family together after we got married in 2023, that was the point in time where I really started to consider moving home. I started to envision the next chapter of our lives and what I wanted that to look like. And that's when my decision became clear around what it is that I wanted to do in moving home. And something that really supported me in the decision that we made at that time was that I had a full year after we made the decision before I was actually going to be moving home. And that felt really important for me to almost like grieve and let go and yeah, process the fact that life was going to change in a really significant way before we actually made that move. And everyone will be so different inside of that. But I think that that was something that was really important for me personally, and perhaps something for you to consider as well. If you're someone who needs time to process things before you go, I think many of us do. Um, but what actually helped me to make that decision? Because there were so many factors that in my head could have stopped me from making that decision, could have held me back, could have made me believe that I should stay for another few years and put off what I was feeling into at that time. One thing being my business, the fact that I had spent the past five years building it in Australia, that it was thriving, that, you know, I was running these incredible retreats across the world on that side of the world. So many things that I could have listened to in my mind that could have stopped me from trusting in what I knew to be true. And so the first thing that I really want to speak to here that may be something for you to feel into or reflect on, if it's not something that you've spent some time feeling into previously, is what are your values and what is really important to you in life? One of my biggest values in every values exercise that I've ever done is family and friends. And every time that I pictured having my own family, the thing that I really knew that I desired was for her, not knowing it was a daughter at this time, but her child to be surrounded by her extended family that felt like something that was really, really important to me. And I think that really understanding what your values are is so key in many of the decisions that you go forth and make in your life. I know that another big value of mine is freedom. And that was one of the things that really supported me to make a decision around the career path that I wanted to follow. It is something that I always consider when I am creating any kind of a new offering or opportunity inside of my business. Is does this thing that I'm about to do continue to allow me to have the freedom that I really desire in my life? If it doesn't, I know exactly how that is going to make me feel. And perhaps if you're someone who your lifestyle or who maybe some of your health decisions are really important to you, maybe those are some of your biggest values, perhaps those things will have an influence on where you want to place yourself in the world. So I really recommend sitting and spending some time considering what your top values are. And something that could be really helpful inside of that exercise is to limit yourself to about five values, five of your key values that you carry with every decision you make for yourself. Because of course, you could have so, so many values, and that can make it even more confusing. But to really feel into what is actually most important to you and the life that you want to lead, because it will look different for absolutely every single one of us. But my values were definitely something that really supported me to yeah, make the decision around what I wanted this next chapter of my life to look like. A values exercise is something that I do with almost all of my life coaching clients at the beginning of our work together. And it is so powerful to witness just how much clarity that can allow someone to receive, just how much trust it can give to us inside of the decisions that we make, because it's a way of understanding what is truly important to us and to be able to move from that place of being connected to that inner knowing around how it is that we want to lead our lives. Another thing that really supported me to make this decision, which is something that I have spoken about many times on this podcast already, is the connection that I have built to my own intuition, that ability that every single one of us has to differentiate between what is mind chatter and what is actually true. Because, as I mentioned, there could have been many stories and fears and anxieties that I could have listened to around making this decision and what it would mean for different aspects of my life. But my ability to be connected to what is actually true is what allowed me to follow through on this decision. There have been many moments where I've been like, oh my god, what the fuck am I doing? And remembering this part of me that already knows that I am safe, that I am held inside of what I'm doing, is what has carried me into following through on the decision that I've made to move home. And this can look like so many different things. You know, our ability to even firstly notice what our mind is telling us is that very first step in being able to separate from our mind and, you know, our beautiful place of intuition or truth. And one practice that can really support us to do that is meditation. That is one of the practices that I love to do to support me to connect in with what is actually true. Because when we meditate, we are starting to become witness to our thoughts. We're starting to become aware of what we are telling ourselves on a daily basis. And so that starts to allow us to not identify with those thoughts in such a deep way, we're able to just see them and witness them and be with them, but to separate our decisions from all of those fears and anxieties that may be coming up for us. So, however that might look for you, maybe there's a moment in your day, there is time that you can care about, maybe it's stepping onto your yoga mat where you can really just be with your thoughts and then be with what sits underneath that. Because we could easily make a decision to move home, for example, out of guilt or out of fear of what it might mean if we don't move home, or we can make it from that beautiful place of being in trust, in being in connection to what it is that our desire is. So this is something that I harp on about all of the time is our ability to begin to become aware of what's happening in our mind and to begin to be able to separate from whatever that is. Not that our mind isn't this brilliant tool because of course it is. Our mind is so brilliant, it is always aiming to keep us in safety, but it becomes tricky when we are about to step into some chapter of change because our mind often will direct us to what it is that we already know. And so we have to go a layer beyond that in order to get to the crux of what it is that we truly desire and what it is that we truly want. And the last thing that I wanted to speak about, in terms of what supported me to make our decision to move home, is my ability to trust in my capacity to hold the both and. What I mean by that is of course I have did a lot of planning, I've done a lot of manifesting, I've did a lot of envisioning what I wanted this chapter to look like, and I've made really intentional decisions and stepped into action into creating that reality, but I also haven't moved from a place of needing it to be perfect. I haven't made this decision, deciding that Ireland is just going to be rainbows and butterflies and sunshine all of the time. Something that yoga teaches us so beautifully is that every single one of us has a unique soul, a unique essence, this part of us that is unchanging, unwavering, regardless of what life throws at us. And our capacity and our ability to connect with that place is what can hold us through the absolute highs of life and also the moments when life feels really challenging. Our ability to stay connected to our essence, to our soul, to our truth, is what allows us to then be able to be okay with whatever life throws at us. Because even since I've made this move home, there have been days where it has been really rainy when I thought I was going to get a beautiful walk on the beach in Donegal, for example. Or there have been moments where I've been like, oh, this isn't really what I imagined it was going to feel like doing this particular thing because of the weather or whatever. Um, but our ability to trust in our capacity to hold the rainy days and the sunny days and the highlights of our trip and the moments where it feels tricky, and our ability to be okay with all of that is what sustains us in our ability to stay steady inside of a decision. And this is true regardless of whether the decision you're about to make is around moving home or it's about a business that you're about to start or a career move that you're going to make, that you can trust in the desire that you have, and you can trust in your desire and your capacity to hold yourself through the many iterations and versions of what that decision is going to look like in the future. How can you allow yourself to build a sense of trust inside of your capacity to hold yourself through life when it doesn't feel perfect, when it doesn't feel like the stars are aligned in every single moment of every single day? And that ability to keep coming home to that soul, to that essence, to that very unique part of you that lives inside is a thing that can carry you through all of life seasons, that can continue to keep drawing you back to the desire you have and the way that you want to lead your unique, beautiful life, that part of you that never ever changes, that part of you that is your soul, that is constantly whispering to you. And honestly, this is the thing that I feel like allows me to be what others might view as totally delul about my dreams, about the way that I want to lead my life, about how I want to feel whenever I make the decisions that I am making, because I can trust in that desire that I have because I know that it is being led from a deep part within me. I know that the desires that I have that may look delusional to somebody else are exactly where I am meant to be because they are unique to the person that I am here to be in the world. And that part of us that is unchanging never goes away. It never goes away in the moments where life feels incredibly lit up. It also never goes away in the moments when life feels super challenging. It is always this part of us that we can reconnect to, that we can remember through all of the different seasons that we are moving through. So the reason that I share that is because perhaps there are things that are drawing you to make a decision and then there are fears that sit alongside of that. Instead of making yourself believe that those things won't be tricky or that they won't be hard, instead, can you allow yourself to trust and know that you will be okay inside of all of those things as well? Because this part of you that is guiding you to make the decision is guiding you there because it knows that you can hold space for those things too. I hope that this episode supports you in some way. Perhaps you can go and sit with your values, perhaps you can start to carve out a practice that allows you to connect with your truth, perhaps you can start to build new ways to connect with that essence, with that part of your soul, and then to build your capacity to hold what lives inside of that. And that always is in connection with our ability to build a relationship with our body. I also wanted to share with you that if anything that I'm speaking about right now is something that resonates, if this desire to connect more deeply with your essence, to know what the decisions are that you want to make and how you want to lead your life is calling you right now. If perhaps you have just moved home and you are seeking connection and community, then I would love to invite you into my upcoming retreat in Greece, which is happening in April over Easter next year. This retreat is filling with the most beautiful humans. I am so, so excited for it. Picture yourself in a really beautiful location right on the ocean, surrounded by mountains, practicing yoga, practicing sitting in beautiful circles with incredible women and coming back home to the beautiful truth of who you are so that you can go powerfully be her in the world. If you have questions, please come and DM me. I would love to have a conversation with you about it, and I can't wait to see you and to speak with you inside of another episode really soon. Have the best rest of your day.