Rewire Your Mind, Rewrite Your Life

We explore how self talk shapes identity and results, and why strategic plans fail without inner alignment. Through reflection, repetition, and kinder language, we show how to build new mental pathways that support the life you want.

• why words direct the subconscious
• identity as the driver of behaviour
• limits of harsh motivation
• tracking and rewriting self talk
• repetition and neuroplastic change
• the dirt track metaphor for habits
• returning to essence beneath stories
• seeing desire as a mirror of potential
• practical daily reps to build belief
• personal examples from body image to leadership

If this podcast has supported you in some way, as always, come let me know

Transcript

Why Words Shape Results

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Hello, welcome back to another episode of the Born to Be Her podcast. I'm your host, Fanula Wiley, and today I wanted to dive into a topic that has been really present inside of my work over the past few weeks. As I've been working with clients who have big goals, big dreams, big visions for this year, which, if you're here and listening to this podcast, I'm gonna guess that you do too, because you're on this road of personal development and following the life that you want to lead, which is the importance of our words. The importance of the way that we speak to ourselves, whether that is out loud and the things that we share with others or the words that we speak to ourselves. You know, part of my work inside of my business is working as a coach, supporting my clients to bring business dreams to life, to step into their new era of becoming inside of the work that they want to share with the world. And you might think that as a business coach, the main part of my work is strategy and planning offerings and supporting someone to increase their visibility, do the things that they need to do to allow their business to thrive. And yes, that is definitely a big part of the work that I do. But if we don't have the mindset, the words that we speak internally to ourselves in alignment with where it is that we wish to go, our subconscious is absolutely not getting on board with whatever that vision is. And this is relevant to you whether you are a business owner or you're someone who desires to call in a relationship this year, or you're someone who wants to feel good about themselves, whether that's inside of your body or just simply inside of your mind, then you can never create those goals from a place of giving yourself a hard time. And I really want you to listen to that reality inside of yourself and just notice how true it is. Because sometimes we can think that motivation comes from recognizing where we are out of alignment in life and then having a lot of discipline, kind of beating ourselves up to we get to where it is that we want to go. And in reality, that type of motivation tends to dissipate very, very quickly because when we are moving from that place, it is literally impossible for subconscious to get on board with wherever that path is taking us to because we don't believe it to be possible for us. We don't actually believe that that thing that we want is going to be achievable for us if we don't actually believe that it's part of our identity. I once was in a workshop and I heard this beautiful healer and spiritual teacher that I've loved ever since share some words that always have stuck with me, which is our words are like spells. We are casting out spells with our words every single day. And so the ways that we speak to ourselves is really, really important. And when we look at anybody who has success in whatever area of life that it is that we wish to have success inside of, it is without a shadow of a doubt true that that person has done some inner work to allow themselves to receive whatever that thing is. There is no doubt that they have rewired their brain to create that level of success for themselves, to allow their thoughts to get on board with where it is that they wish to go. This doesn't mean that they don't experience friction. This doesn't mean that they don't have doubts around whether it's possible for them or not. This doesn't mean that they don't experience fear because, of course. But what it does mean is that when they notice those things come up, they are challenging them. They are giving themselves space and time to envision what it is that they want and to align their thoughts with whatever that desire is. And so maybe this looks like reflection over the ways that you speak to yourself. Something that I often say to clients, this is often one of the very first pieces of work that we do together, is that when we start to take notice of how it is that we're speaking to ourselves, what it is that we're saying to ourselves, and maybe we spend like two to three days noting those things down, journaling them down, is that they will begin to notice that they have the same shitty thoughts over and over and over again. It is estimated that up to 80% of our thoughts are the same ones that we've had the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that. And also that a huge proportion of those thoughts tend to be negative. And this is why that peace around rewiring the way that you speak to yourself is so, so deeply important. Because if you just let your mind what it does, what it is here to do, then it is going to run rampage with those negative thoughts. It is going to be the thing that is guiding you to what it desires to create, which is safety. Our mind is always guiding us towards what it already knows to be true. And something that you may have heard me share on here before is our mind doesn't know the difference between what is reality and what is perceived reality inside of our own head, something that it hasn't actually came into fruition before. And so when we can repeat that desire that we have, that belief that we have about ourselves enough times, that is when it starts to create a new pattern inside of our brain. And I like to imagine this almost like a dirt track on a road. Let's imagine that you've always followed the same dirt track down a road for years and years and years. You can imagine that that dirt track that you have created on that road is pretty deep. It's got plenty of wheel marks on it, it has been well formated, and you know exactly how to go down that road because you've been down it very, very many times before. Then when you think about starting to choose a new path, choose a new road, start to create new grooves and a new dirt track, they're going to be very light in the beginning. It's maybe going to take you some time to become familiar with that road. There may be times where you feel really called to go the road that you've already known for so many years before. And the more times that you can choose to go down the new road, the new path to create that new pathway, the easier and easier it becomes. And so the thing that will allow you to create that new reality, create that new vision for yourself is to create repetition, to do this practice every single day, to sit with your journal, to write down the negative thoughts that you have, to rewire them, to tune in to what it is that you wish to believe about yourself, to tune in to what it is that you truly know to be the real truth about you, the one that lives beneath the stories, the one that reconnects you back with your essence. I also love to think about the fact that when we are born, we are so pure, we are so divine, we don't have these stories attached to us. And so even if something feels really, really true and right inside of your system right now, whether it's that you believe that you're not worthy of receiving the thing that you desire in some way, or whether it's that you believe that you're just always going to be a perfectionist because that's the way that you've always been, or perhaps you believe that you can never be the confident person that shines at the front of the room the way you want to be. Remember that that is not your essence, that that is simply a story that you have told yourself for such a long time that now you really feel and believe it to be true. But that doesn't mean that you can't shift it, that doesn't mean that you can't change it. Yoga gives us this beautiful reminder that when we come back to our essence, when we come back to our soul's truth, to our own unique magic, that anything that we desire to happen for us, to be true about us, is of course our innate way of being, because we wouldn't have that desire if it wasn't true for us. And when we can even witness those things that we desire perhaps in others, they are just simply a mirror and a reflection of what already exists inside of us too, because we couldn't see it in someone else if we couldn't have it inside of ourselves. And so I share all of this with you today so that you can be reminded of the power that you innately hold within you, that you can be reminded of the magic that exists within you, of the potential that exists within you, and that all you have to do is to begin to get out of your own way, to begin to become your biggest cheerleader, your own biggest supporter inside of your visions, inside of your goals, inside of the things that you want. And in doing this work and in doing it consistently, these are the things that are going to support you to manifest the things that you desire. And I can say with full knowing that this is true because I have done this work for years, personally and with clients. This work began for me in a season of my life where I had a horrendous relationship with my body, where I had a pretty turkey relationship with food. And I spent, I'm gonna say, a full year rewriting my thoughts over and over and over again to now where I am sitting here today in my postpartum body, which I could give so much criticism to if I listen to things external to myself, and yet I have so much approval for the season that I'm in right now and the way that my body looks. I have did so much work inside of myself to bring the business that I have to life through mindset work, through investing in support that has helped me to work through these things and my own blind spots that sometimes we can't see on our own, that has brought me from a place where once standing at the front of a room and guiding my fellow students when I was doing my yoga teacher training through one posture, which was a stand-in posture, made me shake from head to toe, believing that I could not do it. To now having held hundreds and thousands, probably of rooms of yoga classes, having hosted retreats across the world. And so I know to my core that this work really does work when you stay committed to it, when you allow yourself to rewrite the story over and over and over again till you're sick of rewriting the story, so that those new thoughts, those new beliefs can land and feel true inside of your system. And so let this be your work this year. If this is a spot for you right now, let this be a practice that rewires your mind to allow you to fulfill your own unique potential, to allow you to step beyond any limitations that you have placed upon yourself and your divine magic and the magic that you're here to share with the world. I hope you have the most incredible day. If this podcast has supported you in some way, as always, come let me know. I just love having conversations with you if you are an avid listener and to know that I get to tune in and connect with you in this way. And I will chat to you next week. Have the best day.