How To Create True Success In Business

We pull back the curtain on what really creates business success when strategy is not enough and pushing starts to feel like burnout. We focus on the internal work that makes success feel aligned, embodied, and steady even when results are uncertain.
• strategy as a small part of sustainable success
• subconscious beliefs driving behaviour behind your goals
• noticing repeating thoughts during launches and visibility edges
• building a new internal narrative that can hold uncertainty
• staying curious without shame as the foundation for change
• reading nervous system signals through breath and body sensations
• regulating in the morning before emails and Instagram to set your day
Please, if you're a listener and you have enjoyed this podcast, like it, share it with anyone who you think it might support, download it

Transcript

Welcome And Why This Matters

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, welcome back to the Born to Be Her podcast. I'm your host, Vanilla Wiley, and I'm so grateful to be back here with you this morning. It is for me, tuning in to a solo episode where we are going to be diving into all of the beautiful things that create success inside of our business. I wanted to speak to this because I think sometimes we can get so bogged down in strategy, in what it is that we need to do inside of our business, how we can cultivate the perfect messaging, the perfect niche, the perfect client, all of those things that of course are important and needed, and we need structure and we need strategy, and that is absolutely part of the work that I do with my clients. But this is really 5% of the overall picture of what creates true success. What I see to be true is that when we focus only on strategy, we can absolutely create financial success. We can, you know, go implement the things that we are being guided to implement and it can get us results. But often that is the fastest road to burnout if our internal system is not in alignment with those actions that we are taking. If we are feeling like we are on a pressure cooker, bringing those actions to life, if we are constantly feeling like we are on a merry-go-round of emotions based off of whether our business is bringing in the revenue that it brought in last month or not. And so when it comes to creating success, it feels aligned, when it comes to creating success that is deeply in connection with our gifts, when it comes to creating success that feels like home, that feels like when we think about our business, that it is deeply in alignment with who it is that we are, the work that it is that we're here to share, the message that it is that we are here to gift to our clients, that is what I believe true success to be. And what I also believe and have witnessed over and over again with my clients to be true is that that kind of success comes from doing the internal work. That is what makes up 95% of the overall picture. The other 95% of what creates success is down to our subconscious and our nervous system. Our subconscious and our nervous system are constantly in communication with one another. They are constantly talking to each other. And this is what will allow us to create the freedom inside of our system to even go and do the strategic steps that we know that we need to take. This is what will allow us the freedom to do that with ease, to do that in a way that feels like it is deeply embodied so that it doesn't have to feel like a chore or like stress or like we are pushing ourselves up a hill to keep going with where it is that we wish to go. And so let's dive into what that looks like. Let's dive into where we can begin to become witness to that 95%, where we can begin to shift and change and evolve inside of allowing ourselves to be more visible in our work, to show up more authentically, to be more embodied inside of our message, to say the thing that we truly actually want to say, not the thing that we have filtered down because we are trying to morph ourselves into what we have believed to be true about where it is that we should be or how it is that we should be showing up based on a strategy that someone has potentially given to us. So when it comes to our subconscious, the beliefs that we hold, the stories that we hold, we have that 5%. You can think about it as the strategy or the goals that we set. We have that 5% at the front of our brain that is the thing that we are desiring, the thing that we have set a goal around that we are working towards. And then we have the 95% of our brain that sits behind those goals and those desires that is fueling our behavior, fuel in the things that we do, fuel in the ways that we show up, fuel in the things that we say. And this is a part of our brain that we want to get really, really curious about. This is a part of our brain that we want to pause and take note of. And often we can begin to understand what that sounds like, how that shows up for us when we think about the moments in our business or in our work that feel challenging. Perhaps when we have launched something and it didn't go the way we wanted it to immediately. Perhaps when we have put ourselves out in the world and we didn't receive the response that we thought we would receive straight away. Perhaps when we are about to do something new that we've never done before and it is inviting us to meet our edges in some way. Those are the points and times and moments where we want to get really curious about what it is that our mind is telling us, what it is that the stories are that are being shared inside of our mind. And often when we start to become familiar with them, we'll notice that we have the same thoughts over and over and over again. And this is a really incredible part because that is what makes it easier, starts to become easier to rewire our thoughts, but we have to become familiar with them first. And so you might even now pause this podcast if you're in a place where you can do that, or take some time after this podcast to just sit and think about one of those moments you've had recently, because of course we all have moments in our business that feel tricky, and to write down all of the things that came up for you around that, to write down all of the thoughts that came up for you inside of that moment. Maybe it was that you were about to post something, maybe it was an offering that you had or a launch that you had, and you can reflect on some of the thoughts that came up for you at that time. So when you now have the ability to notice what those thoughts are, we want to begin to think about how we can support ourselves inside of those moments, how we can start to cultivate a new narrative. And of course, this new narrative has to be connected with our ability to deal with uncertainty. Because often the thing that we are craving when we become so focused on strategy alone is the certainty of the results that it will create for us. When we all know that we don't have absolute control ever in the outcome of the actions that we take. And so we have to become okay with the uncertainty of wherever it is that we are taking our business and whatever it is that we are wishing to step into. And we have to allow our dialogue, our internal dialogue to be in alignment with that ability to be uncertain. So it might be that you in those moments think about how can I bring forth the memory of other times in my life where I've dealt with this feeling? How can I bring forth other times in my life or my business where perhaps I had this feeling and then things went in the way that I desired them to? So we can remind ourselves, oh, even though this is happening right now, this doesn't mean it's the end of the world. Remember that time where it actually went really well or I had that result or I did that thing. Um, we want to remind ourselves of the moments where we were able to figure it out so that we know that whenever these moments of uncertainty, of challenge come up inside of our business, that we can hold ourselves inside of that, that we've got ourselves, that we can carry ourselves through those moments so that they don't feel all-consuming whenever they happen. So that they don't mean that our nervous system goes into a state where we either stop showing up for our business or we ghost our business for a little while, or it starts to become deeply uncomfortable and we might try and push through and keep going anyway. And so think about the things that you can share with yourself in those moments where business feels challenging, feels stressful, feels like it's pulling you towards your edges. That is the first thing that I would love for you to get really, really curious about, to get really, really interested from a place of non-judgment. This is the most important piece. If we are going to do this work on us our subconscious, it has to be done from a place of non-judgment. Because as soon as we go into shame around where it is that we are showing up or how it is that we're showing up for ourselves currently, it is very difficult for us to be able to create change from that place. So it's like, oh, that's interesting that I speak to myself that way. I wonder if I could get curious about that. Now, the other piece that I wanted to speak about here is our body and the role that our body has to play in our business, our nervous system. As I shared previously, our subconscious and our nervous system are constantly in communication with each other. And so when we again feel that sense of discomfort, stress, anxiety, we have thoughts coming up in our mind. It's really incredible to get curious about what's happening for your body as well. What is happening to your breath? Where in your body do you feel a tightness or a constriction? Where in your body can you support yourself? Where can you shine a light on what your body is trying to communicate with you? And how can you be in communication with your body so that when those signs and those signals are coming up, that you can really nurture your body, instead of making it mean that you should stop or the opposite, that you should force and push beyond your body, that you can instead slow down, tune in, listen to it, breathe, connect with those signals and sensations so that we can create capacity in your nervous system to go and do the thing that you really wish to do. So those are the two things that are making up the 95% of the pie, the full puzzle of what allows us to create success. And what I have witnessed again and again and again to be true inside of my own system and inside of the systems of my clients is that when we do this work and when we stay devoted and committed to doing this work, this is what truly creates success. Not only because it allows us to show up entirely differently to the strategy that we maybe have already implemented. We might do the exact same thing from an entirely different spot, not only because it allows us to do the things that we want to do in a totally different energy and different way, but also because it feels so different for us. That type of success feels so different from the kind of success that we get through pushing, through striving, through only doing in that masculine way without ever looking to nurture our internal world. And so when you create success in this way, it feels deeply aligned. It feels deeply nourishing. It feels like it is the type of success that was always meant for you. Instead of your business feeling like this pressure cooker that you have to show up for and that is kind of like pulling you along every step of the way, it gets to instead be this spot that feels like a haven when you step into it, which of course is the reason that you likely created your business in the first place because it was a gift that you wanted to share with the world before you had to do all of these other pieces of work too. And this is one of the greatest joys of having a business. It continues to support you to evolve, to grow, to look at yourself in a new way. It will invite you to meet every single part of yourself at each new level of your work. This doesn't end at any stage, it's always shifting and evolving as you shift and evolve into the new seasons of work that you're here to share with the world. So I hope that this has supported you if you're in a season of business right now where you have that deep desire for success. Perhaps you're in a season of challenge right now or you're just really desiring to step into that next level of your work, to have some things that you can tap into in your toolkit that will really support you to do that. And I wanted to just finish with a very simple, practical thing that you can implement to start your day because this is one of the quickest ways that we can start to cultivate change. Think about the way that you start your day. When you are a business owner, it is so easy when you start your day to open up your phone, perhaps go on Instagram, maybe open your emails and feel your system with the cortisol or stress of where it is that you need to place your attention for the day. So instead, before you do anything connected to your work or your business, can you take even a few breaths into your heart space? Take a moment to be in gratitude, take a moment to tap into the vision of where it is that you're going. Take a moment to allow yourself to have a breath, to let your nervous system regulate in the morning. And that will feel so much of the rest of your day. It will allow the energy to feel so different as you tap into the magic of where it is that you're going inside of your work. I hope this has been supportive for you. Thank you so much for tuning in. It is always such a joy to be able to share with you in this way. Please, if you're a listener and you have enjoyed this podcast, like it, share it with anyone who you think it might support, download it, and that is the way that this podcast gets to be in the ears of the people who need it most, which is, of course, the greatest reason that I show up and share these every single week. I will chat to you really soon. Thank you so much for being here. Have the best rest of your week.