No Name Podcast
This is a podcast where we talk about anything and everything and nothing all at the same damn time!
No Name Podcast
Master The Spectrum: Choose Energy, Not Victimhood
Ever notice how one person can lift a room while another quietly drains it? We go straight at that dynamic and unpack a practical framework for mastering your energy so you can lead, parent, and build without burning out. Drawing from hermetic concepts in the Kybalion, real-world leadership inside the Navy, and everyday family rhythms, we show how “energy is contagious” becomes more than a quote—it's a system you can train.
We break down the power plant model: take raw inputs (sleep, movement, breath, hydration, sunlight, learning) and convert them into steady output that people can rely on. Instead of chasing constant highs or faking positivity, we talk about honoring cycles, setting a baseline, and using small rituals to hold your floor on tough days. The conversation moves into emotional range—why numbing pain also blunts joy—and a key reframe from victimhood to growth: shift “Why is this happening to me?” into “What is this here to teach me?”
Relationships are the amplifier. You’ll learn to read the room, spot “mosquito” dynamics that only take, and set healthy boundaries without guilt. We share how to use open conversations, reduce proximity when needed, and even “refer” people to better fits to keep connections humane and sustainable. Then we connect energy to discipline by returning to its Latin root—learning and instruction—so your standards become tools for consistency, not weapons for self-blame. Curate rooms that match your energy and values, elevate others as you rise, and build communities where momentum compounds.
Close with a simple challenge: audit who has access to your energy this week and adjust with intention. If this conversation sparks something for you, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a quick review—who in your circle needs this reframe today?
Welcome back to episode seven of the No Name podcast where we talk about anything and everything and nothing at the same damn time. I'm your host, Alex Lang.
SPEAKER_00:Oh yeah, you know you got Derek. Hey, I thought I was gonna do the intro. I was gonna say, welcome to, you know, and take the spiel where your friends like to be late and don't give you a hard time.
SPEAKER_01:Yo, Derek is Derek is here with uh with eye boogers and everything. A little bit of uh slobber because he's a mouth breather.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it's so crazy to think that we're going on a Disney cruise. I'm glad we at least made some time to do this.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, no, man. Derek, man, I'm I'm so excited that you decided to do this because you know you're about to go on vacation again, and I think our con our conversations are just filling. It's a little different because we're not in the same room. Would you agree?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, definitely. I gotta figure out where we're moving to in a couple of a couple of weeks, and then hey, hey, we might be in the same room. Yeah, definitely a little different.
SPEAKER_01:I love it. Hey, so I want to talk about something. Today's topic, I want to talk about something. It just came to my mind as we were we were talking about not being in the same room. You gave me this book called The Cabalion. And uh the caballion, one of the so it's it's hermetic wisdom uh from from history centuries and centuries ago. And one of the things that it talks about is energetics. I want to dive into I want to dive into energetics with you today because I think it's I think it's important that we talk about energy. I'm gonna use I'm gonna throw this term out there or this statement and then just throw it to you is energy is contagious.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, well, that's one of the laws, right?
SPEAKER_01:It is one of the laws.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, break it down. I'm a little rusty. Actually, since I gave you the book, I didn't dive back into it, so I need to finish. Break it down, break it down.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, you want me to break it down? I wasn't I wasn't verbatim gonna break it down as the book. I just wanted to wrap on it in regards to our own experiences of energy as contagious. So here I'll go, here, here I'll go. I got you. So I was mid-coffee, I was about to take a sip of coffee. Uh I remember being in the military. I was a chief petty officer, and I wasn't a big fan of my job. I didn't like what I was doing. And I I became aware of this concept when I was a leadership instructor in Sigonella where we met, is called Batari's box. Do you remember me saying this to you before?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, but the energy you bring affects everybody else's energy.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. So Batari's box is my energy affects my actions, which affects your energy and affects your actions. And it's this loop, it's just this continuous loop. So, with that thought in mind, in my experience in Sigonella, coming back to the ship, a lot of a lot of uh people come to the ship. Obviously, it's not the best life. They're a little down, you know, they're they're just moving through their day, they they know what they gotta do, and they're just trucking through it. For me, I always wanted to raise my energy because I knew that it would it would match, it would help other people raise their energy. So I was known as Chief Chief Ric Flair. I would I would walk around, I would rock around the deck plates and say, let me get two clamps in a Ric Flair.
unknown:Woo!
SPEAKER_01:You know, and and then everybody initially eventually they started to like uh gather on, they would start doing it with me. Even if they were mocking me, they were still their energy was uplifting, they're smiling, they're giggling, they're laughing. And uh this came to my mind because I started teaching at this school last week, and one of the rules that I told the kids was we always start with a high energy movement. And the reason why is because energy is contagious, and the way that we show up in our lives and our marriages, as fathers, as businessmen, as podcast hosts, as future Disney uh crews, alumnus, you know, like we gotta bring the energy, and those around us will see that and it will be affected by them.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. No, I I like that a lot. It makes me, you know, we can compare notes on this. I am a high energy person, but I can sometimes let people affect my energy. So, uh something I've been working a little more on, even as a father, you know, showing up, you escaped the military, I'm still here, is how to be a plot a power plant. Because what does a power plant do? It takes all these raw materials and then it turns it into energy. So maybe that's what we can talk about a little more, too, is how to become your own power plant. How do you take everything that's thrown at you and then you use it as a source for energy that other people can benefit from?
SPEAKER_01:Oh, I like that. I love that. What do they call that? An anecdote.
SPEAKER_00:Uh yeah, anecdote.
SPEAKER_01:Yo, you better trademark that. Someone's gonna take it. How to be a power plant.
SPEAKER_00:That is something I want to get better at.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I think I think it's important that we just in my own experience, we talk about living the full spectrum of life. You know, I I've mentioned that to people all the time. It's like, hey, you want to you want to live the full spectrum of life, you can't choose which emotions are convenient. You have to choose to feel everything. And so I think it's important that we're aware that emotions, this energy that we're talking about, I've said this before, is energy and motion. And motion, yeah. Emotion is energy and motion. And if you block one of them, that you're gonna block all of them. Understanding that if you allow them all to come up, you'll be able to feel the full spectrum of life. So that's number one. You were talking about being a power plant and how to gather these raw materials. And in my and my thought process here, and I'm gonna throw it back to you, is if we're able to feel the full spectrum, and I don't I want to try to take away people have says this is fake positivity, but I I really want to rewire that that concept of even in like losing a child and having brain tumors and getting kicked out of the military, whatever the hardship is, there is lessons within the hardship. So really learn, instead of being in the victim mindset of like, hey, why is this happening to me? Start asking the question of what is this here to teach me? And sitting and sitting with that. And so when we're able to feel all of these emotions, then we can start to figure out where the even kill in it is in all of it. Because if we get too high, you know, we're gonna enjoy the highs, and then when it goes down into the lows, we're gonna be like, man, life sucks, right? If we get too too low, we're gonna be like, man, woe is me. It's it life is out to get me. But then we realize that there's ebbs and flows in life's in life, and we have to we just have to main maintain, find that even kill, and stop. You know, something I told you, man, when you were here is like stop and acknowledge and celebrate the wins, and then look at the hardships, look at the hardships, acknowledge them, stay with them, but look at what the lessons are within the hardships. Because once again, energy is just like emotion is just energy and emotion.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and energetics, uh it gets deep, it for sure gets deep, especially once you read it, and you even learn that you can pick up energy from people. So maybe years ago they would say that's trusting your gut, but we now know that's energy, almost how you can feel somebody staring at you, you interact with somebody, and you can just say or think to yourself, their energy is low. Because in that book, and in several other books, it talks about people with eye high energy, they don't take energy from you. You sense it, you know it's there, and you're good. But you have low frequency people who their energy takes. So now you have these people in your life who they're almost like mosquitoes, right? Like you're the host, they're just latching onto your energy, right? The mosquitoes, because I saw one behind you, like where you've been at.
SPEAKER_01:No, the mosquitoes, they're not actually coming for me, they hear your voice, so they're looking for you. They're like, Where's he at? Where's he at? He's got some good blood. He's got some good blood.
SPEAKER_00:But they some people just use you as a host and they latch onto your energy. So it's almost like defensive driving. If you know you're somebody with high energy, you have to know how to navigate this world because some people are just enter your life to take your energy. Like you're at that power plant, they just want to plug in, they don't want to give any. So energetics gets really, really deep.
SPEAKER_01:So I'm gonna throw this back at you because I have a question. You're bringing a lot of good anecdotes, and some of them I feel like they're jarred at me because I'm a I'm an actual aggressive driver, not a defensive driver. Oh, yeah. Turbo, Mr. Turbo. Mr. Turbo, say turbo. How you're talking about you're talking about people coming and wanting to plug into your power plant. How how do you, and I'm throwing this to you, this is a you question. How do you put up those energetic boundaries? Like, how can you when you feel like someone is trying to just take, take, take, take, what are some things that you do to to conserve your your own energy?
SPEAKER_00:That's a good question, Alex. Honestly, I I say first you have to realize what's happening, you have to be cognizant of what is going on. Because you you can't be this uh madman swinging in the wind. Everybody's taking my energy. You have to be aware of what's going on, and then knowing, okay, this person isn't bringing anything to the table to increase both of our energy. They're just taking from our energy. You have to be able to see that, identify it, and have an open conversation about it. Because you can't just assume, ooh, this person has you know low frequency, they're they have low energy, and then dismiss them. Some people are by you because they want to be elevated up. So just having that conversation with them, like, hey, are you okay? I could tell your energy is a little off what you got going on. But if you're engaging with that person and you realize they they they're just here to take what you have, then you you have to be cognizant enough to cut that relationship off, or at least minimize proximity. That's another excellent one for navigating energy that I've used. Because I found that if people don't have access to you, then they can't take. But if you provide this high energy all the time, but you're giving these people who are ready for that opportunity, you're giving them proximity to your energy, they're just gonna take. And you may find that you're dwindling down too, you're exhausted, you're not benefiting. Not that it's about benefiting, but it's not a healthy relationship because that person is just taking and you're giving, but there's no give, give, there's no elevating together. There's a give, take. You're giving and they take. I would say, not that I would say, I believe the most important thing is identifying it. You have to know it's there. You have to navigating human relationships and adult relationships is all about knowing where you stand with that person. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You brought something you brought something to the forefront of my mind uh when my when I was in the military, you know, as our job as chiefs, and I I know that we're trying to stay away from that field, but I want I want to bring it for a second because this can relate to real life as well. But I remember being in the military, and any time that I felt that from a sailor or like someone that was wanting a lot from me, and I I didn't either want to or something felt off, it felt out of alignment. I always pulled it, pulled out of my bag the you know, I want to say deflection, but I would I would get them in contact with someone else in the in regards to you know, like another chief or someone I thought thought would be like a good mentor. You know, I would look, man, right now I'm I'm I'm tied up on a lot of the things. This is stuff that you know, I I hear you, I can relate to you a little bit, but I want I want you to know that this person probably is a better fit for you. So like I would always just isn't like skirt, you know, like try to try to push them to the to the right or the left using the resources that I have, not necessarily like saying, Hey, you all you do is take, take, take, but hey, this person's a better fit for you at this moment in your life. So you give it a few.
SPEAKER_00:That's just something it's almost it's like you're giving them uh a referral, energy referral.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, because you because it's it's not it's it's not uh it's not in alignment with you, you know?
SPEAKER_00:Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's a lot of power in energetics, and I'm glad you're reading that. Um, this topic gets a little deep, and it's not for everyone. You have to be ready to understand what energetics is. I find that a lot of people are just existing, they don't know what this feeling is when they come across people or they run into people. But energetics is real, it's very uh objective. It it is, it's there's no if and or buff. It goes by so many different names. It goes by the vibe. All right, like I'm vibing with this person right now. That's just high frequency energy and it matches. What else it goes by uh we chilling, um Hotel Transylvania, we zing, right? It goes by all it you know, people say I found my people. All of that is high energy, all of that is energetics. It's um, and I love that we're talking about this because it normalizes this conversation. It's not a hard conversation, but it's an interesting one because when you start putting relationships in terms of energetics, you start realizing where you stand for people and where people stand for you. It's almost like you can inventory the people in your lives based on energetics and realize why some relationships are the way they are, why some feel like they strain, or why some just come so easy. You may find like, wow, energy-wise, like this is flawless. Like when me and you are together and the family's together, our energetics is one full of books. There's no friction whatsoever, and it's always been like that. But you do have people that you're like, I don't know what is off, right? And you break it down in terms of energetics, that's why that is off because we're in two different places in our lives, and the energy is off, or where they're allocated their energy. I've already done that, so there's there's a mismatch in energetics, you know, for example.
SPEAKER_01:Uh, real quick before I dive into a thought, I just love how you're able to like tie energetics into like the modern day in different ways that it's used in a kid's movie and you know, different areas of of the of modern day society. So I really like that. You are a beast for that. I just want to make sure you know that because I would never make that. I wouldn't I would have never made that association.
SPEAKER_00:That's why we we're strong here. I watch a lot of TV, so my my mind is like we're weaponizing our ADHD.
SPEAKER_01:Our ADHD, I love it. You know, like so with this energetics though, to build off of what you're saying, think about it, you know, when they say you are the five people that you surround yourself with the most. And for people that are listening to that, like don't don't be the smartest person in the room. This is a big, big piece of why you need to get out of your comfort zone and push yourself and surround yourself with people that you want to be like. And that doesn't mean that you that you have to consistently be the dumbest person in the room, right? Because then we're going back into that take, take, take energy. But it's about surrounding yourself with people that challenge you, that push you, that make you want to be better because the energy is contagious. When you're around them, you're gonna you're gonna learn their language, you're gonna learn their their mechanics, how they show up in the world, how they do things, little cheat sheets here and there of how they how they operate. And that's what uplifts you. And part of this process is as you're uplifting yourself by challenging yourself to be in these rooms, you need to be also creating that for others. It goes back to when I think about things that I've learned in my military experience, it's like always create opportunities for others to succeed. So your growth as a person, you know, we all as humans want to give back. It's like that humanistic connection. So service to others. So as we're the energetic side of it, as we're raising our energy, we're trying, not trying, we're we're creating a space for others to do the same. And that's that's how we fill the cup. You were you're saying earlier is like, how do I continue, how do I create this power plant where I can take raw materials and generate this continuous flow? Well, the thing is this I think it's important that we have to normalize that we're not always gonna be on all the time. We there are gonna be cycles to where we are slow. We are to ourselves, we're trying to understand what's going on. And then there's gonna be times when we're high vibing, we're zinging, right? We're we're we're doing what we're doing. And the the piece of us to get back to that, that always, trying to always be on, right? To be on more than off, so to speak, is filling our cup, pouring back into ourselves. And that doesn't mean every relationship around us gets neglected. That means that we just have to we have to prioritize our own relationship so we can then be the best for the other relationships around. If we're not if we're not zinging with ourselves, connecting with ourselves, raising our own energy within, how can we do that for others? How can we show up in that area for others? And that's just a thought for me.
SPEAKER_00:No, that's money. Just like you can't pour from an empty cup, you can't give energy from an empty source, all right? It's like a battery pack if it's if it's empty. And you're gonna go to charge something and you ain't getting no juice, big dog. I like that.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, that's why that's why you're going on this Disney cruise. You know, you got this Avengers t-shirt on. Yeah, yeah. You're about to fill up, man. You got the what's what's Tony Stark got on his chest? What's that thing that he gets in his chest? I don't know.
SPEAKER_00:Let's call it they they they talked about it. I don't know. I'm not a big Avengers guy, but Steph and the kids, they like friends. So they they added the friend vibes on there. I'm just glad to be here. I'm just glad to be here. So I gave him a shout-out, Matt. Hey, I appreciate you. He has a little cricket machine, so he he went ham on it for us. So that was awesome.
SPEAKER_01:Hey, it looks good. I you know what for a minute I was looking at it and I was like, man, that's like a legit. Did you buy that from Disney? That's what I thought.
SPEAKER_00:No, yeah, they they made this and they live in a uh not a camper, but um what do you call it? Uh RV. We call those RVs. Yeah. We know uh and so I'm even more blown away. Like they're an amazing family, and just like our family, uh, they get along really well. I actually had this idea. I was talking to a guy, another one of my friends. I said, yo, when I get really wealthy, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna just throw a party with all my friends so all my friends can meet my friends. Because what they don't know is they all get along. Like all my friends, I have no, I don't have no suspect friends. I relentlessly inventory the people in my life to now when I hang out with people, you're you are my people. Because I love it. It's almost like um, you know, buds. I put you through the we you've been through hell week, you're good.
SPEAKER_01:You know, I like what you said uh when you were here, you were like, Man, I do an energetic vetting process. Yes, yes. Yes. But I love it. I want to ask you one last question before we close this podcast. Go ahead, go ahead. Are you ready for it? I'm ready. We're talking about energy. If energy if everything is energy, how do we use that awareness to live better today?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, if any if everything is energy, how do we live better today? I think we're trying to take that out thing. Uh we talked about that. Where you have to know and be aware of it. Well, you you absolutely have to. The the the energy is gonna be how you navigate. This answers the question that I was I was gonna propose something. As entrepreneurs, you have to manage your energy. As fathers, you have to manage energy. As people, the man that we are, having our baseline, having something to fall back on whenever things get rough or get difficult, energy can do that. So, say I'm not having a good day, but I have my baseline energy, people should be able to know that I'm not having a good day. That's something that I want to get better at. Or, for example, say you notice something's off with the kids, right? They're they're not as energetic as they used to be. You have to be able to tap in. Okay, if you're an entrepreneur, I believe it's better to work with somebody who matches the same energy as you versus the better deal. Because energy, excuse me, could also reflect having the same values, having the same moral compass, having the same character. So we call it energy, but it could be just having these like-minded things together. So energy, energy is usually what you could use to just navigate and build with with people. So hopefully that kind of answers your question. But uh your energy is insane. Before you go, would you mind taking a stab at that? Because I'd love to learn from you.
SPEAKER_01:How do you think energy is I really I um I've always said to people that sometimes we get caught up on what we can't control. Like we get anxious and we get overwhelmed, get distracted by things that we can't control. And so how we make change in our own lives is focusing on what we can control. And this topic specifically, like we have direct ownership of our own energy and how we show up in the world. So turning that back inwards, and I was doing a little studying this morning. I was asked to be on a podcast, another podcast, and the theme is discipline. So I was in my own head, I was thinking about what discipline has always meant to me. And it was like this all rigid concept that you just had to be consistent every single day, like hit it on the hit it on the head. Like I felt this so rigidity, this rigidity that kind of turned into a negativity thing, right? Because if you don't get it, you beat yourself. If you're not consistent, you beat yourself up, so to so to speak. So I was like, okay, stop, full stop, take a deep breath. Let's reframe discipline. How do I reframe discipline? I have to look it up. I have to do some uh I have to get have to get this understanding. So I looked up what discipline was, and it it's the Latin origin, I wrote it down, so that's why I'm looking down. The Latin origin of discipline. Yeah, so it's meaning, its meaning is instruction and training, which is derived from the word it's called de seer, which is to learn. So really, discipline emphasizes teaching, learning, self-control, and then applying a system of which you want to achieve an objective. But I want to focus on the first three for a second. If I can look at every aspect of my life, challenging, exciting, you know, the full spectrum. We talk about the the emotions, the energy and motion. If I can look at it all and pull some type of wisdom from all of it, then I'm I'm a disciplined person. It's not it's not like consistently, like obviously there's some consistency in that because I have to I have to make sure that I have awareness in every aspect. But it's, you know, we've gotten to a world and I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to, what's the word I'm looking for? I'm not trying to make this soft, right? I'm not trying to turn discipline soft, but there's a connection.
SPEAKER_00:I really wanted to There's a connotation. I really want to mean that you're like David Goggins or something.
SPEAKER_01:Oh no. Yes, yes, yes, the the lights went out. He he just dropped a bomb and the lights went out there. Oh yeah. But but where I'm going with this is that with energy, how we can build some how we can build some consistency with our own energy is being able to stop, to sit in it, not be a victim of whatever challenges are going in our life, and then just saying, okay, what is this here to teach me? And then and then showing up in an energetic way on how we want to respond in the world. But we also have to have some within those teachings, we have to create some type of standard to where we can continually move forward. It goes into our saying that we talked about together is always move forward, but be strategic. And where I'm going, where I go with that statement is always moving forward, even when adversity hits, even when loss or something hits, it's hey, pause, take a deep breath, understand what's going on in your own internal body. And then the strategic, being strategic is doing things that fill your cup so you can energetically always move forward. Even when you're like getting hit in the stomach repeatedly, it's like, okay, I feel it, I understand it. Now, what can I do that fills my cup that helps me continually move forward? A lot of people in when when life's challenges, and I'm and I'm gonna throw it to you to close the podcast here, but what a lot of people do when life's challenges hits them is they restrict. They close down, they they think that everything is happening to them. They don't they don't continually they don't continue to move, they stop eating, their breath is restricted, they stop drinking water, you know, like they all the things that we need for life, they close down. And they as the more that they do that, it takes over their mind, they become paralyzed, so to speak. Analysis by paralysis.
SPEAKER_00:Say that again? Analysis by paralysis. Can you say can you say that again for the people in the back row? Or you could flip it and it could be paralysis through analysis.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I need to put my glasses on that one. You were so smart.
SPEAKER_00:No, no, no. Hey, um uh we talked about closing it out, and I and I see you looking down here and there. I've drifted from the light. I haven't been writing stuff down as much as I should, and I I already know you're doing it, and and that was my reminder. I'm reading a good book by Ryan Holliday called Nice. I just finished it. What is it? Discipline is the key?
SPEAKER_01:Discipline it uh is destiny.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's one on justice. I'm I'm reading that one.
SPEAKER_01:I have it right here.
SPEAKER_00:Did you see that in my library? I did, I did, so I've been on a whole kick, but I haven't been writing things down, so I need to because I would love to be able to quote a lot of the amazing things that I've learned in that book. But we gotta write that stuff down. So that was my reminder. Now I know you have to step away. Um, what would you like to close us out with? I know you you you said I was gonna close it. How you wanna end today's podcast?
SPEAKER_01:Dude, it's the the floor is yours. I'll say this real quick. I'm gonna I'm gonna throw the little plug in. Please, if this message resonated for you, share it. Share it with someone that you know, spread the word. This no-name podcast, we really are not trying to niche into anything. We're just talking about everything that comes up that comes up to us. I feel like we collectively have a lot of wheelhouses that we can talk into and we we vibe. Like, you know, we're talking about energetics, but me and you, it's a total different energetic field. When we get together, we're we're bullshitting, we're having a good time. We're talking about real things at a deep level. Because I think that's what the that's the most important thing is to create a deep connection, especially with other men, because you know, we're we're we're having this conversation. It's about having a conversation that stimulates the mind.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, no, fine. Uh, thanks for saying that. To close it out, hey, this week let's do this practical application. You know, you know, if you talk about energy, and and this is where I'm also talking. To you, and I'm talking to myself. There's one thing to know and understand energy, but this week, let's go out and do the practical application. Let's go out there, let's interact with people, let's sense it, let's let's feel these feelings of energy and inventory the people in your lives. So take a moment, have a seat, and go through the people that you interact with. Like Alex said, the five people in your circle, but you might have 10, 20. You may find that people have access to your energy that don't that shouldn't have any business having that kind of access to you. So that's that's what I want for you this week is uh to inventory the people in your lives and let's work on energy.
SPEAKER_01:That's that. Bro, that's fire. That is fire. I love it. And I'm not even gonna say anything else. We will see you next week.