The Real Barriers to Exercise for Mums (And What Actually Helps).

In this episode, I talk about the real barriers that stop many mums from exercising and why it’s usually not a motivation problem.

From time pressures and childcare to exhaustion, confidence, and simply not knowing where to start, motherhood brings very real challenges when it comes to prioritising your own health.

We look at why exercise can feel overwhelming after having children, the mental load many mums carry, and how unrealistic fitness expectations often make things harder rather than easier.

I also share what actually helps women begin moving again in a way that works in real life — starting small, building confidence with simple movements, and creating routines that fit around busy family life rather than fighting against it.

If exercise has felt out of reach since becoming a mum, this episode is an honest look at why that happens and how to start finding your way back.

Come and say “hi” on Instagram @claire.coachingkings
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this episode!

If you’re ready to stop running on empty, join STRONGER and get 50% off your first month with the code PODCAST50.

STRONGER gives you personalised programming and support without the hefty price tag,  just £22.50 for your first month (£45 per month thereafter) for tailored training and guidance.

Tap the link in the show notes and let’s make the next 6 months completely different from the last:

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome to Lift the Load. It has been another hot minute. I have got so behind with this podcast. It's been a crazy couple of weeks. We've had half term. Miniking has been at home. Reset has been happening as well, which is alongside my one-to-one clients, both in personal, in person and in and online. And, you know, there's only so much bandwidth one person has. I'll freely admit it, but I'm gonna be honest. Um I obviously put a lot of effort into my coaching. And then there's obviously that whole element of providing free content and value and helping people out that can't necessarily afford coaching. And I've loved doing that through Instagram and using captions to help educate and be like, right, you know, mums, we can do this, we just gotta start and all those things. But the reality is, Instagram is quite hard work at the moment. Not in terms of putting content on there, but just being on it, just being on it in general. Life outside these four walls is hard. It's it it's slightly depressing. I'm not sure. I feel like I am almost done with that constant like doom scrolling, seeing all that all those different things come up, especially politics, because I do feed into it. I do want to know what's going on. I love seeing other people's opinions that might question my own or might confirm what I believe, but it's a lot, and you know, sometimes we just gotta step, take a step back. So I I might feel like I'm gonna podcast more just because I feel like it's a safer outlet. Like people can come and find exactly what they're looking for, and they're not necessarily gonna see things that they don't want to see or don't want to hear about. Basically, there's an outline of what it's gonna be about, and you you know you what you see is what you get. Whereas on Instagram, you know, you could be seeing all types of things based on other things you've liked. And sometimes that might be fun and uh memes and those kind of things, but other times I think it's just a lot. Anyway, I am digressing hugely. So let's get going. If you've ever thought about exercising, but you feel completely overwhelmed by where to start, you aren't the problem. There is so much information. Like I said, Instagram is a lot. There is so much information out there, not just on places like Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, but on podcasts, on YouTube, on ChatGTP, or no, yeah, is that what it's called? You know, all of those things um are just adding to that overwhelm, that noise. And like you're probably going, what on earth is the right or wrong answer? And you might be like, well, you're not really helping Claire, are you? Because you're just adding to the noise. But kind of what I stand for is very much that often women's biggest barrier to exercise is time. That is the reality of it. I think there's been surveys where they've looked into this, and that is one of the biggest factors that stop women exercising. And I know it's because they're juggling work, they've got kids at home, the majority of the house admin is rel is theirs, um, they think about everyone else's needs, and the idea of exercising or working on their nutrition just seems like another thing, and it's not essential. That's how they're gonna see it. It's not essential. All these other glass balls need to like happen. You need to keep spinning them, and if you drop drop them, there are consequences. And often they think that by exercising or their nutrition doesn't count as one of those things. When in fact, it probably does have huge consequences long term, especially if you keep putting it off into your 60s, 70s, or 80s when we know that exercise has a huge impact in mortality. Um, it has a real impact on the kind of retirement you have. It's never too late, but equally, if you start now, you're gonna be in a way better position than if you don't. So I kind of wanted this episode to be about why exercise feels hard, why those barriers get in the way, and what can actually help you to break through those barriers? How can I help you actually make exercise a priority? Because I think it's frigging important, and I desperately want you to prioritize yourself because not only will it help you mentally, physically, um, role like being a role model as well, but it will also help you long term and how you show up. Make sure that you're not a burden later on. There's a whole host of things to consider, and I'm probably jabbering on and you're like, Claire, you're not very succinct here. But um, sorry, I just closed uh a box there. Um, but that's kind of where I'm at. It's a Friday. It's a Friday evening. Um, it's been a long week. Maybe this won't be the most coherent uh podcast, but you know, that's me. I'm just as chaotic and going through as many things as you. I am not special in any shape or form. In fact, I am distinctly average in a lot of places. So, and a lot of things. And that can help me help you. So, anyway, let's get going. Like, let's talk barriers. So, we got childcare. Now, childcare changes in the seasons of motherhood, but it is a barrier. The barrier that you have when they're in there before school is different to their school time, and then obviously when they go into their teenage years and they start to be more self-sufficient. So we got different, there's gonna be different seasons of your life. And you could continually say, I'm waiting till that next season. But I personally think it's doing what's not optimal, but doing the best you can in that season. So you can still prioritize yourself, you can still make yourself a priority, but it might look different. So, yes, I think going to the gym is fantastic. Going to the gym means that it's really easy to do progressive overload. There's a vast variety of equipment to try out, to use, you can have a social aspect if you go with friends, you can not speak to anyone and put your headphones in and ignore the world. It's a different four walls to work and home. It's great. But when they're little and if you've got a partner that's working and you don't feel like you can get out because there's a lot going on, and everyone's like, oh, in the evenings, you know, your husband can live after them. Sometimes, yeah, maybe if there's one, but sometimes if there's two and you're trying to get them to bed at the same time in different rooms, needing different things, you might uh divide and conquer, or you might be a single man. Working out at home is a great option for that, and I will talk more about that later. So we've got lack of time. Now, I'm gonna be honest, I am hugely someone who will prioritize myself over other things, like the friggin' washing out. I really need to get a dishwasher, like so badly need to get a dishwasher, because I will just be like, well, I can just do a little bit of that whilst the broccoli is cooking. I know I talk a lot about like squatting and job stacking, like squatting while you clean your teeth and stuff, if you've seen my Instagram. But ultimately, I'd almost rather do those odd jobs, like while the kettle's boiling, or you know, you're putting you're look you're w cooking um some pasta, be a kid's or whatever, and you could do a bit of washing up aside and then prioritise the workout, even if it's 20 minutes to half an hour, personally, like because that makes me feel so much better. That's for me, and those other jobs can wait, and they can also be divided between potentially you and your partner. The mental load. Let's talk mental load. Now, this is a real bizarre one. Like, I I actually train um quite a few men uh in my in-person business, and I find it really fascinating. They're like, they, you know, we say that like women are from Venus and men are from Mars, which I imagine is so unpolitically correct now. But it's that thing of we we often just experience life differently and deal with it differently. Um I have had men say that like when they go to work, their family goes in a box in their head, and they just like can massively like divide the two. Whereas I feel maybe this is just me, but I find like I find that quite hard. I can be very much in work mode or in family mode, but I will often have other tabs open at the same time. Maybe that's why I want a short circuit so much of the time. Who knows? But I also think that there is a lot of things that I see that potentially my husband doesn't. Like he will do the washing up, but he might not wash, like, wipe down the counters. Or he might put something out like the rubbish out, but he wouldn't necessarily put the washing in the washing machine. So, and I don't know if he does that because he doesn't think it would be up to my standards, and I like to divide like things up, and if he could just bung everything in the washing machine and he didn't have to think about whites or like lights versus dark colours, maybe, maybe it's that, maybe it's a step too far. I have no idea. But sometimes it's just that thing of thinking about lots of stuff, especially, I don't know about for anyone that's got kids that go to school, the school calendar. Today I was literally putting in okay, we've got Odsock Day on the 20th, and we've got a school disco coming up, and this and that, and I was like, it's not in my diary, and I don't know, I've got to put it in my diary, and all those things. It's just a lot to think about. And then I think for many women, we feel guilty about leaving our children. So we already work, or lots of us do, work, and we feel like that takes us away from our uh children, and then we feel bad if we even want to choose to go away from our children to do something for ourselves, however, I actually think it's a really good thing for our children to see. I wonder whether many of our parents, or especially our mothers, were quite selfless in that sense. I have often joked about the 90s and stuff, but my mum didn't really ever do much for herself. She is she's actually like absolutely fantastic mother. She doesn't really do much for herself now. She's still that selfless person, very like bordering or martyr. And I'm not sure that I want Lizzie to grow up feeling guilty about taking time to look after herself. That's just my thoughts. But actually, I'm looking after me so that I can look after me for longer. I often think that many people feel intimidated by the gym, low energy, because they're already exhausted, and they just generally feel a little bit unfit and embarrassed. And these are so there's so many, there's I've just listed what? One, two, three, four, like maybe five, seven. I have no idea if that was actually seven, but I'm guessing around seven different barriers. And they probably could be looked at even more deeply than that, and I'm sure there are many, many more. So I think that it's just really highlighting that, you know, we're not lazy, that it's not a motivation problem. Most people really are quite motivated in lots of ways. Life logistics just feel like they're a problem, they feel overwhelming, and you already probably feel, if you're anything like me, that you do some stuff not as well as you could because you're being split several ways, and therefore you don't want to add another thing that you're mediocre at. But I tell you, being mediocre at exercise is better than not doing any at all. And I'm gonna kind of dig into that a little bit more because starting matters. Because starting means you have a knock-on effect. You genuinely do. Like you can work out. I have so many clients, I have um, especially my one-to-one, um, are nurses because we live near a hospital. And often they rock up. Some of them rock up between night shifts and they look bringing exhausted. The first thing I do do is offer them a cup of coffee uh to go along their workout because sometimes I feel like that is needed. Often they say no, but the key thing to remember is by the time they leave, they generally have more energy than they started with. And I can vouch for that. Like, I there are plenty of workouts I have started and was like, I am not up for this. Like, I'm tired, I'm groggy, but I feel better after moving because we're as humans are designed to move. We really are, and it does release a lot of endorphins and it does help us feel good. Obviously, there are times when you could like warm up for like 10 minutes and you're still feeling like dump. Maybe just, you know, you're not rested enough, go home, call it a day, and try again another day. Also, the comeback is totally crucial. Like it's, you know, not letting things drag on, but I think that's a conversation for another day. I feel like there's so many conversations around exercise that it can get I almost want to say so much. I'm like, I could do loads of podcasts, stop jabbering, knock on effects, feeling in control. I also feel like it is quite pathartic picking up heavy stuff and putting it back down again. You know, if you're in a bad mood, pick something heavier and put it back down again and do it on repeat. I guarantee you you'll feel better afterwards. I also feel like once I'm exercising and I'm moving my body, it makes me want to make better food choices. And that sounds really random because there's sometimes that like I would say that running can actually, like you always only run, sometimes that can actually affect food decisions because you're just so hungry. Again, a discussion for another day, like so many byproducts. There's always nuances to these things, but generally it makes you want to eat better because you're like, oh, I feel great after that workout. I want to keep it going. I want to, I want to keep feeling great, so then you want to eat great, and then you want to eat, you know, you eat great, so then you want to move more. And it's this little cycle that edges you forward. And no, it's not gonna be perfect all the time. There are gonna be things that come up. You aren't gonna eat great some days because you've gone out with your family and you you at something that you don't normally eat and it has made you feel slightly bloked. Like these are all normal things, but I'm talking about 80% of the time, these things are gonna help. It will improve your mood, your confidence, and it just helps with momentum. And I see it again and again with clients is that exercise really does become the keystone habit around everything else. It's the thing that's gonna keep you going long term. You are gonna hold on to and carry forward. And once someone starts moving their body regularly, they'll often make better food choices naturally. They're not because they're forcing themselves to, but because they want to support their efforts they're making. And I really genuinely believe that most people don't do a tough workout and then think, oh my god, I I really regret that choice. Oh, it was awful. I I jokingly say sometimes I question my life choices after a difficult workout, but I'm joking. I genuinely do feel better, and most of the time I don't do a tough workout and then think, I know what to do. I'm gonna eat six packets of biscuits. So that's what I'm saying. All these things link together for long-term health, and that is why I truly believe exercise is a keystone habit. And also, if decide to diet or whatever, you're shrinking. But I feel like when you strength train, it's building, it's about taking up space, it's about confidence. Muscle looks muscle looks hot on women. I have never felt sexier than I do now with more muscle, and I'm freaking 40 for Christ's sake. I sometimes wish that I had spent my 20s doing what I was doing in my 30s, and I'd be even even more of a badass. I'm like, oh my god, in my 20s, all I was doing is like dieting and trying to exercise to shrink myself. And it just had such a knock on to my performance. I'm like, oh my god, I wasted all that prime time where I could have like made myself a better athlete. And that's what's saying you might be like, oh, I'm not an athlete. Believe you me, I'm not an athlete. Anyone that trains can be an athlete. That's how I kind of look at it. Anyway, where am I? I feel like I'm digressing all over the place today. I'm all over the show. You can tell it's been a long week. But you know, I think this is just just me in reality. Do you know what it is? I am I'm passionate, and I don't, I'm not actually, I'm not ashamed of that. I am passionate. I want women to realize that they are a great, amazing species, and they deserve to feel good. They deserve to feel strong, and they deserve to feel they belong in a gym. I j I truly believe that. Like so many things. But anyway, let's talk low bandwidth entry. I have put some notes down to help keep me in line. Because obviously, we've talked about all these barriers and we've talked about why it's so good to exercise, but then you're like, well, great, I know it's good. It's something I want to do, but like, how do I overcome those barriers? And I think I've talked about it before, I think starting with one session, I truly believe two to three sessions is more than enough, especially as you get older as well. Perimenopause is especially if you're not sleeping, or actually even an early when you've got early children, your sleep and recovery are going to affect what you are able to do as well. And actually, training and working out in the gym is this is the stimulus, and the adaptation comes with the recovery because it there is it's repairing in order for you to adapt to the stimulus so that it can keep going and can improve and can lift the weight that it struggled to lift last time and it will be easier and all those things, but that does have an element of recovery, so you know, realistically, one session might be all you can manage, and you can slowly increase that. I would always go for full body, especially if you're not able to train like four or five times a week. And I genuinely believe 20 to 40 minutes is enough, and sometimes if you're only doing 20 to 40 minutes, you're able to do it more times in the week, and that way you're recovering because you're not putting so much stress on your body at one time as well. I do think the gym is technically your gold standard, but I'm honest, I train at home because we have uh our own gym here. You know, we've we've built up a you know a fairly good gym, you know, it's got like a squat rack and cables and barbells and stuff. So it's got more than enough. I don't need too many fancy machines personally, and it means that I can do it and fit it around my life. But I understand that not everyone is able to have that at home. I also know that like it might not necessarily be practical to have that at home. But I do think if the gym seems like a really far off, like I don't have time, I'm really struggling. You don't have a partner that supports you, that's another thing, maybe another talk for another day as well. But like someone that supports your efforts you're making in so they're willing to do some extra bits or pick pack up a slack, or they just made me discourage you and then you don't make that progress. The gym is uh the home workouts are a great place to start. It also helps if you are embarrassed, if you do want to work out in your PJs, no one's judging you, you're not confident on form. Especially if you've got a coach, you can then send those videos in and have that all checked before you've even made foot into the gym because then you feel confident with it. I highly suggest adjustable dumbbells and um barbells, and places like Argos, Amazon, and things are fairly cheap. They're not the best quality, but they're enough to get started with. Facebook Marketplace, loads people are selling dumbbells and things all the time. And then you don't need to worry about it being a perfect routine. I genuinely be believe, I genuinely believe the most successful people are the ones that are adapted. I think if you can adapt, because I think, especially if you're a mum, things are thrown at you, you know, someone's come home from school and they got chicken pox, or they're ill, or there's appointments, or you've got to go in for some fun afternoon activity thing, all those things, um, football matches and swimming competitions and I don't know, gymnastics lessons, you name it. So sometimes you've just got to be a little bit adaptive, but consistent. And I think if you accept that your routine is not going to be perfect, it's easier to be consistent. And if you were like, okay, my one I'm gonna do one workout a week and it's a non-negotiable, I want to slot that into my diary as if it's an appointment. I might even send a reminder to myself. So saying it, I might even pack my gym bag the night before. Or I'm gonna go to bed in my gym clothes. I've never really thought of that. Or do it in my pajamas, and I'm gonna get up. I'm not my one for getting up super duper early. No one needs to be getting up at four o'clock in the morning. But like potentially, I do get up before Minnie King. So she generally gets up now at 7am. I say this as if I'm really smug. She goes to bed so damn late, I don't get any. I literally go to bed at actually the same time as her. Um, she's never been a great sleeper. We've I've talked about this many a time. But I do like to get up, not to work out. Uh, I do it at the weekends actually, so it doesn't impact on our time together. But mostly I just like to drink a coffee in peace. But that might be a prime time. Do it in your PJs or your, I don't know, a giant t-shirt and baggy pants. No one cares. But it's an option. And there's no childcare needed. It builds confidence, it's flexible, and it's a great starting point. Just remember that in the end, you will outgrow them because the progressive overload is usually either more volume or more weight. And if you don't have adjustable dumbbells or you've only got dumbbells up to like five or ten kilos, you might outgrow those. So that's just something to consider, and then you need to keep buying more and more weights. And I do have a client that has done that and has created her own little mini gym in her back garden in like a little outhouse, and it works perfectly for her. And she's even got a little rack now and a barbell, and and then she adds to it like at her on her birthdays and stuff, and asks for little extra bits. And sometimes you can get some like bargains at Aldi and stuff, and she's like, Oh, I've picked up a med ball, that kind of thing. So it depends, it really depends on you. She's got a bench and a step, and it depends how much you want to put in. Technically, if you spent if your gym membership was 50 quid a month over a year, that's quite a lot of money. Or was it like 600 pounds? So could you spend that 600 pounds on creating equipment? Well, you could get a bloody lot of equipment for that. So it's just it's what's right for you, but I don't want it to be a barrier. I won't always be like I can only go to the gym to move. Because I think once you start, again, that momentum will progress. And I think I think that's everything I've covered, really. That's kind of the point of today's podcast. I don't sound very clear, do I? No, it's not that. It's just I feel like I went on so many little tangents. I did plan out a few bits and pieces, mainly little pointers. So I just really wanted to talk as if I was just having a chat with a friend. And that's kind of what this podcast is about, really. Chatting, chatting like some of my friends. Um, and that's kind of nice. And there's not that editing and that focus on how I look, because currently I've got my hair up in a very messy thing, my glasses are on, my hair is a mess, and I probably smell because I haven't showered post-workout. So there you go, there's the reality of me. Anyway, I hope you have found some value in this podcast. If you could share this, let people know about me because recommendations are usually how it's entirely it's the entirety of how I've built my business, in all honesty, is mostly through recommendations. Um, I'm not a big account on Instagram, I'm not a big podcast account, and I genuinely do this to provide value. I understand that there might not be many people that listen to it, but somebody might, and someone might get value out of it, and that's what is important to me. So I hope you all have a fantastic week, weekend, whatever you're doing, because you're probably all listening at this different times. And if you could rate and review, I'd be even more grateful. And then I will see you again soon on Lift the Load.