We got to Third Base ⚾ Officially Unofficially #26

**WHEN WE SAID AARON RODGERS WE MEANT AARON HERNANDEZ**

Batter up! We're taking the viral 9-9-9 challenge this week to see if we can drink just over a pint in...three hours? And like, a hotdog and a half?! Blimey America, I thought you guys were good with food.

We also chat playground heroics, broken boilers, and why baseball is the weirdest sport in the world. 

Rate 5* and drop a comment - we read them all <3

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Good after morning, every single person that's currently listening to this. Cole is sad. I don't know why. He said, Stumpy, you ask me why I'm feeling sad, and then we'll make it into a really natural bit, and you can lead into the episode with this. Cole, what's up? Why do you hate the fourth wall so much? Can I just start with it? It's not always cool to break the fourth wall. I'll tell you why I'm devastated.

SPEAKER_03 0:18

I'll tell you why I'm devastated. I went, I took the dog to the park, right? A couple of days ago. Yeah. And there was uh at my park, right? There's like a there's like a football cage. Okay, really bouncy.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Is that like where the net are like the foot the metal that's kind of bent into the kind of basketball? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:34

And if you score a goal, it's just boing, and there's a basketball court in there and football and in indented.

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Is it a full surround? Is it like a is it a full rectangle or is it just the ends?

SPEAKER_03 0:45

No, it's a it's a it's a huge square of bouncy metal, right?

SPEAKER_00 0:48

Okay, alright. And let me let me ask you something, okay? And this goes to people watching as well. When you walk past kids playing football and you're a man in a park. Oh no. What's the dream? Tell me what the dream is. What do you want to happen? The dream is obviously that the ball rolls out towards you, and that you can then no touch, probably, you can just you you bang it straight back, either basically for the kick that you want, whether it's a pass to a child, or whether you think, I'll take a shot because it's funny, and then you take a shot and it and you nail it, and then you just keep walking, right? That's the dream. Now you're a man that plays football. I do play football, I consider myself quite good. And I every time I've walked the dog to this park or walked in Eddie Park kiss playing football, I've had the same dream. Come to me on my chest, bop, bop, bop. They all go, whoa, he's good. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 1:43

And you go, give him a wave.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

So and there's just there's just there's this one kid like kicking the ball about, he's sort of training, few key pluppies, shoot it against the thing, you hear patang on the metal every now and then, right? Because it bounces. And then I walk in the dark, and literally the ball goes over and it goes bump, bump, bump to me. Lands at me. And I think no worry, no worry at all. So you've kicked a ball in the last, would you say, week before this? Multiple occasions. I do six aside, I do indoor, you know, I'm quite good. The thing that I pride myself on most is my ability to select where I kick the ball, you know. Oh no. So I think easy. Because also, if you kick it in this context, really far away, you're gonna have to awkwardly go and get the ball because it's your fault. Well, let's see. Let's see if that's what happens to you.

SPEAKER_02 2:33

Oh no, you didn't! Let's see if that's what happens to our titular protagonist!

SPEAKER_00 2:37

Let's see. So the ball triggles to me, it literally lands by me. I think no problem. Little dink. I'm thinking a little dink over the metal and in.

SPEAKER_01 2:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:45

Go for the little dink. Scuff it. Absolutely scuff it. Absolutely scuff it. Do you hit the metal? Hit the metal. Does it dink back behind you? It bounces back behind you. Worst case scenario. Yeah, it might have skewed it like completely amiss. Oh, whoops. But no, I kicked it from the floor to a little chip, didn't get the height, it sort of skewed sideways, bounced off the metal behind me. Now. Now imagine you're playing like uh you know those games where you type in, choose your own adventure type. You got two options. You go and get the ball, you're oh haha, a little it's funny at this point. Yeah. Just the one kid. He's about 15, he goes, Oh no worries. So what are your options? You go and get the ball, you're standing over it. I tell you what isn't an option. I tell you right now what is not an option. Okay. It is well, firstly, the first non-option is not getting the ball. You have to get the ball. Sorry. Yeah, well, I'm trying to see. Well, I'm gonna go. Sorry, mate, my bad. And it's like rolled off to the main road. Like, that's not an option. You have to get the ball, right? It's like returning your trolley. That's a that's a given. Yeah. The second option, you cannot kick this ball and it hit the metal again.

SPEAKER_01 4:01

No. So genuinely, please tell me that you did not do this.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

So I sort of try I've got the dog in on the extended lead. So I'm like, oh my gosh, but I tried over to get the ball. And I can't try and chip it again, can I? Because I've already tried the chip. Chip option one failed. Did you kick it out with your hands? And it hits the metal.

unknown 4:20

I picked up the ball.

SPEAKER_00 4:21

Mate. You're fucking kidding me. I thought like part of me is obviously thinking I could just throw it in. I could be safe. You know? I'd have to walk through the water. I'd throw it. I'd throw it. I'd throw it. I would 100% throw it. You throw take two, would you? You'd throw two. I I give it a laugh. I go, ah, my bad. Grab it. I go pull overarm. Bosh. Or even underarm. Just a safety throw. Safety first, yeah. No, I I picked it up and I thought I'd kick it.

SPEAKER_02 4:47

I thought I'll give it a kick. A nice little drop kick.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

And was it a nice little drop kick? It was worse. It didn't even hit the metal, it went to the side. Oh wait, so you've absolutely booted it well past where this kid is. I mean, I didn't boot it. It was like the right power. It's not like I went fucking John Smith, but I'm it. Bang! Hoping it would go up and then lamb of stuff. And also, this kid's in a cage. So he can't just like. This is why I asked if it was like ends and ends, because there's um a place near where I grew up called Earl's Barton. If you know it, you know. Any Earl's heads in chat. Any Earl's heads. Um, and uh that had those two metal goals you're on about, but the sides were open. And it was also the left side then sort of went into a hill, into like a moat where a castle used to be. So if the ball went off, you'd have to get it before it went in the moat, otherwise that's a real nightmare. Um and if it's moted, yeah, true. Because they'll pour oil at you from the walls above. Yeah, if you get too close, they shoot arrows out the slits. Um and then, yeah, so in that one, I'm thinking you could even just go round the side and roll it to him. Whatever, cringe, but fine. Yeah, this child is stuck in a cage of demise as he's watching you kick his football everywhere but back to him. I'm having a game of pinball. I'm trying to hold it, I'm trying to get the plus 100 points.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

How many times could you do that to a kid? Like, you kick the book, oh sorry, you grab it, you go again, you kick it over the whole thing, you go, oh sorry, you run, you get it, kick it back into the metal. How many times did he just leave the the cage and goes, I'll get it? Like, don't worry, please stop.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

Yeah, true. Clearly, you've got bad legs, I'll get it for you. Um, but yeah, no, so I tried the drop kick the second time and I caught it like the side of my foot, I guess. Oh no to the side. And uh so then I I accepted defeat and I did a little chuckle. I went, oh sorry, went and got it. What did the kid do? He was like, oh, don't worry. He was fine. The kid was fine, the kid was a little bit. You know he's telling his mate. Oh, I hope so. I hope so. I hope he tells his mates of this dopey, ugly ginger rat boy who thought he could hear he dead, who did his football into the cage, fucked it up, then fucked up the drop kick, and then the third time I can see the defeat. I went and got it, picked it up, walked to the cage. Oh no, underarm roll and it bounced in, and he went, cheers. I went, no problem, but we both knew.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

That is gonna be a story that he tells for a long time.

SPEAKER_00 7:20

That is fucking mortifying. It was really bad. It was it was that's really bad. Do you think it's worse if there was only one of him?

SPEAKER_02 7:29

Because it was only him. If it was five of his mates, you know, would that have been better or worse?

SPEAKER_00 7:34

It's a bit of both, because then if if his mates are there, they are then probably on the second time laughing and going, wee, that makes me feel better. I I know there's some that's people share the laugh. Yeah, I know there's some people that would fucking hate that. They'd hate to be weed. I think that relieves all anxiety and stress. I'm like, yeah, I'm the dickhead, whatever. We all now know we're on the same wavelength. I'm the silly old twat that can't kick a football, right? That's okay. If they are silent and they're all standing in there watching me fail to kick the ball, that's worse. So I think they're balls like Oliver. Please, can I?

SPEAKER_01 8:09

Please can we play?

SPEAKER_00 8:10

Like, um, I would say I'd rather that all of the kids are there because then also they can all back each other up when they tell the story at school, and then they'll all tell different parts, and that's funny to me. That's true.

SPEAKER_02 8:21

Oh, but then but then the good news is as well that if they start doing that, then they might start telling different stories, and then people will start to think it's all bullshit.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

True. And I'll be I'll be safe. You'll then be stuff of legend. I'd rather be remembered. I'd rather give kids that memory than firstly, I'd rather fucking kick it in first time and not like a dickhead.

SPEAKER_03 8:41

That would have been so much. That's ideal.

SPEAKER_00 8:43

Yeah. That's number one. Um, but yeah, I think I'd I would rather do uh it I'd rather there was more of them there that they can all tell that story. Because I've got something similar that happened to me years ago. Or was it no? I was the guy. I was the man. Please make me feel better. I'm begging you, please be the loser of the the the British, be the British comedian of this story rather than the American, all-conquering, sexy, long-haired, handsome, bearded, increasingly skinny.

SPEAKER_03 9:14

Quite handsome. Did I say handsome hero?

SPEAKER_00 9:18

Anyone uh listening on audio, you can go fuck yourselves. And I was looking in the camera, because that is not how this story ends up going for CoolCon, unfortunately. So uh it's actually I I parked up near a near like a rec centre or whatever where there's like a few, there's like, you know, the two sideways, five or side pitches, and or it can be long ways, a normal pitch, on like an astroturf.

SPEAKER_02 9:37

Yes, yeah, yeah, that's that's right, that's right.

SPEAKER_00 9:39

That's what I play each week. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're classic pitching in the UK. There was um they're tall.

SPEAKER_02 9:43

The the the gate, the fences around those ones are way taller.

SPEAKER_00 9:46

Yeah, really tall. Um probably about, God, if I was to guess it in like feet, like 20-foot fence? Maybe less. 15 feet. 15-foot fence. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Because you could, yeah, it'd be struggled to get down the other side. Um I was in the parked in the car park, and a ball, somehow, someone's completely fucked it, don't know how. But it's bounced, it's gone over the fence entirely. I'm in the car park, and I want to say there's about 40 people who are standing there waiting for their ball to come back to them now. Uh because it's like it's the two. It's a whole gabble. It's two of the, I guess, no, 20 people or whatever, like of the two five aside pitches, they're all watching, and then there's other pitches around as well that have also got people. So I'm in view, right? The ball goes over the fence, it bounces and hits a car immediately, and I go, oh, that's not great. I give them a look, they then laugh, and then they're clearly expectant. They're now waiting for their ball to come back, and it's coming towards me, and it's b it's on the bounce in a car park.

SPEAKER_03 10:45

Fuck off.

SPEAKER_00 10:46

No, you don't, no, you don't, I don't believe you.

SPEAKER_02 10:47

Because I know what you're gonna say, you're gonna say you caught it on the half folly and everyone fucking clapped, but I don't believe I I do I do I believe you? I'm looking into the ball.

SPEAKER_00 10:55

Do you believe I could be jammy enough for the one time that I would say I kicked a football in the last five years at that point for it to be great?

SPEAKER_03 11:04

I uh look look look in the camera, let me see your eyes. Hmm. I'm gonna go with yes, I'm gonna trust you. Am I gonna regret it?

SPEAKER_00 11:14

So, ball goes bouncing, goes straight over this like the chain link fence type thing. Lands on a car, I give them a look, they give me a look, we all do a little giggle, and then it continues bouncing, I shit you knot near perfectly to my right hand side.

SPEAKER_03 11:27

Just quickly, I was gonna say, to find out the end of this story, we'll have to carry on watching officially good, unofficially the best podcast on the internet.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

That was really good. Okay, what happened? What happened? That was very good. Thanks listening through the uh title sequence and give it a follow, give it a subscribe, give it a fucking whatever you're looking for. Give it a like. What happened? So comes bound to me on my right hand side, and I give it just a straight up I walk, I just go on the middle of my foot, no fucking fancy sidewalk shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not like doing one of them. I'm just going fucking through it, bang, like that. What? Forward to back, back to forward, like straight lines. Shit, you not, I'm gonna stand up, literally just bang, straight up. It's so jagged. Right? It's like the Ministry of Silly Walks. And I catch it perfectly. I can hear it now. It just goes bang, goes straight off my foot, straight over the fence, lands on their pitch, and then bounces probably a bit, I can't remember, but it probably bounces a bit too high and then like rolls off somewhere.

SPEAKER_03 12:44

But it lands in the vicinity that I was aiming for. Guys, in this in this scenario, all that matters is it within the fencing. You're not like trying to do a cross, you're not trying to get it on their pitch, it's in the fencing.

SPEAKER_00 12:55

I want to get it in the fencing, yeah. Uh, I then just go! I give that so cold for all of it to atonement. Imagine the coldest that you can imagine, audio listeners. Just hand up, I sort of give them a look, and then I keep walking. I shit you not my heart rate, it's like my heart rate is going. Because if I fuck it, there's like 20 cars around, there's 40 people watching me. If it then goes down like a little ditch, I obviously have to get it.

SPEAKER_02 13:27

Or if it bounces, if it hits the fence and bounces behind you, as well. Exactly. There's so many ways this can go wrong.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

And I just thought, fuck it, full send, and it landed in, and I do not think I could catch it as well as I did. With the height as well, because that's the thing with a high fence, you need to nail it. So yeah, I've I've got one experience of that that I can remember, and it was again for any Northamptonshire heads, it was in Daventry near the tip, if you're wondering.

SPEAKER_03 13:50

I mean, I I I can I can try and get a picture of that. Will it be on Google Images? I can try and get a picture of the exact let me find the place.

SPEAKER_00 13:57

I hope it's not. I mean, it might be Northamptonshire, is that stuff just might just be fucking gone now.

SPEAKER_03 14:03

But because of the the wild bulldozers that roam at the large amount of not poverty, but not not wealth. Very much not wealth. You took a zoology degree. What's a what's a gang of bulldozers called in the wild?

SPEAKER_00 14:16

Uh it's a JCB. A JCB of bulldozers.

SPEAKER_03 14:20

Okay, yeah. They they might have gone over this sports pitch and and taken it down.

SPEAKER_00 14:24

Daventry Sports Park. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 14:28

I don't know if it is. I mean, I just said after.

SPEAKER_03 14:30

Okay, I can just give it a Google after if you want. If you want, I can just after it's after we've done this, I can give it a look.

SPEAKER_00 14:36

Oh, apparently it was Daventry Town FC. It was at the football club. The scouts might have been watching.

SPEAKER_03 14:44

Oh god, I might have been scouted based on that. That's gotta be the dream though. Like I that can't just be a British thing, and it can't just be a football thing. But when you walk past you know, kids are adults sort of playing in in a in a sports field or in a in a public park, you are desperate like the same as when I watch cricket.

SPEAKER_00 15:01

Every time I walk past cricketers, I'm thinking, hit a six.

SPEAKER_03 15:05

Hit a six.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

You're thinking, just nail it.

SPEAKER_03 15:08

And I will be there and I'll catch it and I'll do the little one arm up, there you go, mate.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

Carry on, as you were. There you go. I've got you a little screenshot. There's no street view down the road, but on that screenshot you can see the the car park that I was in. Oh, there's a big gap.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

There's a big gap there.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was in that car park, and you see the tip across the road, Daventry Highway's recycling.

SPEAKER_02 15:28

Wait, were you on were you on the so there's the pitch?

SPEAKER_00 15:30

No, I was I was on I was by the car park, you know, where where it says Daventry Indoor Bowling Club. There's a car park next to that, the green pin.

SPEAKER_03 15:37

Yeah, yeah, okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

I was in the next to Van Bougles. Uh no, I was on like the left side car park, like literally right above that green pin. Okay. Yeah. I was in that car park. I parked facing the thing. It went over. You can see the height of the fence based on the shadow. There's a bit of shadow. You can, you can see it, so it's a high boy. It's a high boy.

SPEAKER_02 15:56

And it's also a very I was expecting you'd be sideways on, but your frontways on. So there's less width to play with.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

Honest to God, you're just bang. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

So you get the height right, you can get the power right, but if it's like too far to the right, you end up going below Davent Streando Bowling Club pin.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

Yeah. It's maybe on the roof.

SPEAKER_02 16:12

You could have roofed it.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

That would have been mortifying if it lands on the roof. That's awful. That's and that's that is kill myself scenario. You just have to drive up. You just gotta get in your car and just drive into the nearest wall. Even, even oh god, imagine then you get in your car, you revert into another car.

SPEAKER_01 16:29

Fuck. Oh my god, what am I doing?

unknown 16:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

Oh god. But yeah, there you go. So that was um I've that's my only other experience with that, and I have unfortunately for the story absolutely nailed it.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

Well, please, everyone listening to this, if if if you have ever been the the winner like Stumpy Goblin or the loser, like little old cool colt in one of these scenarios, let us know. If you're an American, you've you've caught a baseball as it's flown out, or uh, you know, if if you've if someone's about to score an American football goal and you just sprinted on and dive tackled them, you know, that's a good thing. You get a little bit of CTE just for the banter. What's CTE? It's the like head trauma. Shakes your head about and then you go mental and you kill your family. Much like Aaron Rogers.

SPEAKER_03 17:12

God, that's topical.

SPEAKER_00 17:13

There you go. It's not really, I think it happened in like 2000, I want to say, 17. It's pretty topical as well. He had like stage four CTE. I'm listening to a podcast on him at the moment.

unknown 17:23

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:25

I didn't think CTE came up. So what's yeah, go on, what's what's he been up to? Talk to me about Aaron Rodgers. He basically was a Aaron Rodgers. God, I think it's Aaron Rodgers. Um I remembered. He was a uh American football player, was really, really good. Uh the NFL basically then denied. Goalkeeper. I think he was winger. Okay. So he's the tricky winger. He's like, he's the tricky winger, yeah. He's doing Croyff turns, he's doing the game. No, I shouldn't think he was. He was like a Billy Big Bollocks that would get absolutely smashed every single game. Like they they would have concussions eight times a game, kind of.

SPEAKER_03 18:01

Oh, he's the little fucker.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

He's the one that is little six at three. Oh. He's the big boy that either rams into someone or someone rams into him fucking head first, because that's the best way to do it. He's the dude. Yeah. Uh, and then uh he basically went mental uh after getting CTE. The NFL denies that there's you know any issues with head trauma in their sport, and it's like have you ever watched it?

SPEAKER_02 18:26

Yeah, I I that's weird to me that they deny it. It's like they should just say they should just say these people get a lot of money to injure themselves. Yeah, that's sort of not on us. If you want to be a footballer, you're probably gonna hurt your head. Now we'll we'll try and mitigate it. We'll make sure you wear a helmet, but ultimately that's what you sign up for. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:48

And I think the people with my podcast I was listening to, they'll but they said the exact same thing. They were like, if they just came out and said, actually, you know what? Actually, if you just said, you know, we'll add a bit more padding, uh, we'll try and mitigate it as much as we can, but ultimately, it's an injury-based sport, it's going to happen. We'll try and make sure it happens as little as possible, and we'll give them support and help if needs be, because we have loads of fucking money. Yeah. But yeah, they just basically um a uh a scientist came out and said, Hey, I'll analyse all these brains of uh dead uh NFL players, and like 90% of them have got CTE. So, like, from where the brain gets shaken around fucking loads, and then it causes like scarring or something within the brain, causes different pathways and makes people then have mental issues which include extreme violence, they have a propensity to murder.

SPEAKER_02 19:34

After dying.

SPEAKER_00 19:35

Uh after dying, yeah. So basically, it's how poltergeists are made.

unknown 19:39

They're American football.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

They're American football. Um, in in English people, they call them Goltergeists. Very good. So um that they ended up uh basically taking his research, hiring somebody, like a scientist, then basically say, No, it doesn't. And the guy goes, What the the NFL did? Yeah, they hired somebody just to go, no. But why? I don't know. Basically, yeah, so they hired him, and then this scientist who gave the actual research is like, well, yes, it fucking does. What? Yeah, okay. I'm gonna keep looking at brains then. Keeps looking at brains and goes, guys, it's still like 90% of all like NFL player brains get fucking rocked to shit, and the NFL are like, no, they don't. So they then they then deny it all, right? Uh Aaron Rodgers ends up having like a really high level of CTE in his brain. It's like stage three or something, and I think it's like four stages.

SPEAKER_02 20:26

Um he's not what does that mean? What does that does that mean he's not even himself anymore? He is a different being.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

He is got extreme mood swings and has very, very little impulse control. So if he gets angry, he gets a hundred angry. If he gets sad, he gets a hundred sad, right? Okay, they took all his nuance. A sort of like bipogler, I guess, where it's like the ups and downs, like on the absolute extreme ends, and you're very rarely in the middle. To the point where a guy spilled his drink on him at a club, um, uh, and he oh, he also smoked a shitload of weed, so it's destroying his brain in multiple ways, right?

SPEAKER_02 20:59

Did that help at all? Do we know the weed can be? I don't think so.

SPEAKER_00 21:03

Yeah, not in this regard, because it just keeps him cloudy. Uh drunks are bad kids. And then, well, some are good. Um, and he ended up um uh having a drink spilled on him in a club. The guy goes, Oh, sorry, and then like turns around. Aaron Rodgers then gets really fucking angry with him, shoves him about, whatever. Bouncers get involved, they kick him out of the club. He's like an NFL player at this point. He's like extremely rich, millions rich, right? And strong and powerful and like six gigantic. Yeah. Yeah, your average bouncer, probably. He then gets uh uh in the car with his mate, uh, they then see the two guys, one of them who spilled the drink on him, in the club.

SPEAKER_05 21:36

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_00 21:37

They then get in the car, they then pull over alongside each other. Aaron Rodgers then leans out the window, starts shouting racist shit at them because there were two black guys, pulls out a gun, shoots them both dead. And because they spilled the drink on him. And then later on, the guy that he was friends with that was in the car, he ends up uh driving with him for a little bit, keeps saying, Aaron, you're fucking mentor. What's going on? Can we get you help here?

SPEAKER_02 22:01

This for months. Well, yeah, but what did his mate expect though? Did it so it was his mate like, I'll beat him up, slap slap slam them into the pavement, give them permanent scars, disfigure them, stop them walking, but don't shoot them, Aaron Rodgers.

SPEAKER_00 22:14

That's a bit far made. No, his mate was trying to get him away. His mate was trying to get him away. His mate at every single turn. Yeah, his mate was driving. Who was Aaron? How was he trying to get sorry?

SPEAKER_02 22:22

How was he trying to get him away if he was driving?

SPEAKER_00 22:24

Because they'd stopped at a light, but then they pulled up next to each other. I think he thought that Aaron was gonna shout some shit at them, and then they'd move on, he'd get out of his system, blah, blah, blah. Whatever, right? Aaron pulls out a gun, shoots them both dead, okay? Um, later on, Aaron then, uh, when they're on like a car ride home, uh, this guy Aaron's now getting really paranoid. He's like, Okay, you're it's like a year after the murders, he's then going, You're gonna report me. You're doing this, you're doing that.

SPEAKER_02 22:48

Oh my god, like it wasn't known straight away that it was him, it wasn't like on 16. Aaron Rodgers said this. Oh, I see. I assume it's like that.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

We're like, surely wasn't him. Because he's our American high, he's our American football star. Like he'd kill people, yeah. Um, and then he ended up um uh being in the car with his mate who was uh driving that night uh in the middle of nowhere with two other guys who were not good guys. Um was called like Shadow or something, I can't remember his name. Or like Sonic. I don't remember. Yeah, Shadow and Sonic were sitting in the back saying, I could do with a chili cheese dog. He's with his head jokes, he's got he's got spines everywhere, digging into his back. He's like, Fucking Sonic, can you get rid of it? Hold on to Sonic's temple. Uh and then um uh yeah, his mate is sitting in the passenger seat, is like saying, Aaron, I'm not gonna snitch on you. We just need to fucking let's just get home, let's be chill. Aaron pulls out a gun and shoots him straight in the face. His mate. Yeah, his mate, who he's driving with. He then leans over, opens a door, shoves him out the car in the middle of nowhere, right? And then keeps driving. About, I think it's a couple of weeks later, Aaron receives a phone call from the mate that he shot in the head. That motherfucker survived. Fuck off. There's this he got a shot in the eye, past his brain, he's now got an eye patch, and he's your shot me in the head, Aaron Rogers.

SPEAKER_04 24:15

I'll take you down to TV George's longer.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

Fly the Jolly Aaron, the Jolly Rogers.

SPEAKER_01 24:21

And he um yeah ends up like calling him and basically saying to him, if you don't give me loads of fucking money, I'm gonna tell I'm gonna tell on you that you murdered two men.

SPEAKER_02 24:30

He's got one eye and he made a play on it instead of being like, I should get this guy locked up. Yeah. Fucking Shadow and Sonic are unhinged.

SPEAKER_00 24:39

No, Shadow and Sonic are just sort of there all the time smoking Aaron's weed. That's all they do.

unknown 24:43

Sonic.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

It's like, what?

SPEAKER_00 24:44

Sonic's like, what's going on, man? Sonic the green hedgehog. They're just there the entire time. So yeah, so that basically happened. Um, and uh that's what CTE is. It makes you go mental. And then I've not got to the end of it, but I think Aaron kills himself. That's always a good ending. Yeah, he's not a good one. He was basically fucked over by the system of the NFL, had loads of money, wasted it, and then killed like I think he killed like four people in the end.

SPEAKER_02 25:13

Fucking hell.

SPEAKER_03 25:14

I mean there there there truly is a duty of care from these huge leagues because no matter how wealthy anyone footballer is, or anyone American footballer, anyone uh ice hockey, whatever, football is richer. Yeah. Ice hockey is richer.

SPEAKER_02 25:28

You know, they fund these people with the infinite wealth that they have and they churn them in and out of the system.

SPEAKER_03 25:35

It's a whole thing in UK football of footballers coming up who don't quite make it, and then they're 16 and they go, fuck, I'm not gonna make it.

SPEAKER_00 25:42

What the fuck do I do with my life? I've barely done my GCSEs because I was at training every single day. I've exactly have no prospects outside of football. Yeah, there's a lot of care that should be taken.

SPEAKER_03 25:52

And then for the for the professionals, that's why so many of them end up getting into gambling and getting into drugs and alcohol. I had when I was um in Ireland with my uncles, I actually heard on BBC Island, whatever the fuck it's called, on their like radio station that they just had on in the background. D BBC. D BBC. They had an interview with I don't know his name, but it was and maybe someone listening will know. It was an Irish footballer, Republican Irish footballer, who had had to retire early. And he'd played for the here's the clues that I remember. He'd played for Millwall.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

Okay. And he had to retire early due to an injury. Let's see if Groc knows, hang on.

SPEAKER_03 26:26

And that might be all okay, put in Irish footballer had to retire early, played for Millwall, was recently on a radio interview. See if it knows who we're talking about. Uh while you look into that, I'll I'll Okay, is that is he is he answered?

SPEAKER_00 26:42

Uh oh, is it Richie Sadlier? I don't know. It might be a wall. And Republic of Ireland striker, who was forced to retire at the age of 23 due to a hip injury. That sounds like him. So what's his name? Uh Richie Sadler. Sadlier. Richie? Right, so they had an interview with Richie Sadlier on, right?

SPEAKER_02 26:59

Richie Sadlier! Richie Sadlier. And Richie Sadlier was saying that um, yeah, at the start of it, he he got uh this was on like, I don't know, 11am, it was in the morning, right? And he was talking about how he was doing cocaine, he was talking about how he was doing alcohol, and that the interview was like, Oh, when you did the cocaine, did that make you feel more connected with yourself? And the guy was like, Yes, okay, so I suppose it did. It was like it was like a proper like 9 pm interview.

SPEAKER_03 27:22

Apparently Republican hit is different. It was on at 11am. And it was it was just genuinely fascinating. It was really interesting to hear how this one poor dude's life had been going in one direction his whole way, and then suddenly one injury, you fucked, and you've got all this money. You're 23, then you were I was a good 23, you were a dickhead. You know? Being a dickhead.

SPEAKER_00 27:45

Probably, yeah. At any given point, you 10 years ago was a dickhead. I think that's very fair to say. And yet, ironically, I consider myself in ten years an absolute tosser.

SPEAKER_03 27:56

Tosser in ten, dickhead minus ten.

SPEAKER_00 27:58

Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, yeah, that sounds good. Um, there's an I've actually seen online that there is a uh a baseball trend that is not giving a duty of care. Okay. Because it's I might have found the most aggressively, pathetically American tradition that I can find that got torn to shit on the internet a couple of weeks ago. Okay. Can you click on the New York Post tweet that I sent you?

SPEAKER_03 28:27

Okay, yes, I'm looking at it now. What the heck are we looking at? I'm gonna pause this now. What are we looking at here?

SPEAKER_00 28:32

So this is probably the most regrettably American thing I've ever seen. The stomach churning, quote, stomach churning, 999 challenge at City Field. So if you give it a play, bear in mind this does feel a lot like watching the Mets. It's a lot like watching the Mets, and any Metheads in chat can can confirm. So we're just watching, are we? Yeah, just give it a watch. And let me if tell me if you think you could do it.

SPEAKER_06 28:58

The real action today isn't the Mets home opening game. How can they actually not be the Mets? Okay, pause it.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

Yeah, that's all right. Let me let me try and track what Just means. Nine Okay, they're not pints for a start, are they? They're like nine half pints.

SPEAKER_00 29:17

Are they fat, mate? Yeah, they're little diddlies. They're little diddly diddlies. Little baby ones, yep. And then what do you think about the size of the hot dogs?

SPEAKER_02 29:24

Well, if they're little baby diddly diddlies, then they're presumably also little baby diddly dogs.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

Yeah, so it's the nine nine nine challenge, which I've seen people basically do uh like of their own accord. They will buy a pint and they will then buy a full-size hot dog, and they will have it per inning uh for all nine innings. I see, okay, yeah. I've just Googled that takes just under three hours. So two hours and 98 minutes, right? Three hours for nine pints. I that I probably would struggle with that. That's a very good amount. You couldn't do that. Yeah, I could not do that.

SPEAKER_03 29:57

I mean, I could, but that's not what I'd naturally that's not my pace.

SPEAKER_00 30:00

Along with nine hot dogs, full-size hot dogs, that's tough, right?

SPEAKER_03 30:03

That's the real deal, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:04

That's really hard. So uh give it a play again. This costs 60 bucks, and we'll look at the size of the beer when she pours it in. That's the size of the hot dog. It's how how big would you describe that for uh for any person? Uh I'm trying to oh my god, I've just seen her shot of beer. And that's like that's a little diddly diddly diddly dolly. It's what, about four five inches? Like it's I'd say I've actually got an individual cheese packet here that I've that was about to put in my bin that I had earlier.

SPEAKER_02 30:35

It's about this big. It's about as big as a little individual cheese lunchbox snack pack.

SPEAKER_00 30:40

I'd say it's really bigger than that. That's really the size of the dog, but then you've then got the bread. I'd say in total, it's about the size like the footprint of like less than a phone.

unknown 30:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:48

Like the footprint is less than a phone.

SPEAKER_03 30:50

Yeah, definitely less than a phone.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

It's it's small.

SPEAKER_00 30:52

It's a small hot dog. And then when the beer comes up again, pause it. Yeah, we'll do, we'll do. I mean, that to be fair, that popcorn behind her, that's a big thing of popcorn. Fair play. If you jump that in and that guy's beard, then suddenly we're in business. That's a lot. That's a lot to deal with. But yeah, she's like, yeah, okay. So the beer that she's holding, pause it. Um that is spread across the nine beers. That in that can is all nine beers. So what is that's like 700 mils of beer? Yeah. So across three hours you do a pint and a quarter. So the amount that you're drinking is one large can of beer. Nine small hot dogs. But like, I saw somebody do it. When they pour the beer in, if you pour it to like near full per glass, it doesn't even fill up all nine. It fills up eight of them. It's about 600 mils of beer.

SPEAKER_02 31:48

This is a bit pathetic. I'm disappointed. Americans like big things. I thought this would be good. It's awful.

SPEAKER_00 31:55

So small, it's a shot glass! One of the nine beers! Shall I play? Keep going. And shit, bear in mind, stomach churning if you can believe such a thing. Why is she shaking her head? There's another one. Okay, in the second inning.

SPEAKER_06 32:12

Honestly, I'm ready to eat this hot dog. I bet you are.

SPEAKER_00 32:15

You must be fucking carving.

SPEAKER_06 32:18

What the hell is that?

SPEAKER_00 32:20

That's pathetic. That's so shit. That's laughable. If somebody shows up with that glass anywhere, that's small for a wine. Imagine, imagine taking that to the local pub. You know, the uh you ask for a Guinness, you ask for like a proper, like a proper job. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 32:38

A beery beer. The barman goes to it on the pipe, you go, no, no, no. Hey, hey, Derek.

SPEAKER_00 32:44

I've got my own. Oh my god. It's that's under that's gotta be like a less than a hundred mil a beer. I'd say that's about 80 mils. I think that's about 80 mil a beer. That is the barrel of beer glasses. If the Mets were a beer glass, it would be that. Oh my god, it's so met-coded. Ready? Mm-hmm. Oh, fast forward. Why are we fast forwarding?

SPEAKER_06 33:07

I fear I overestimated myself because I'm already kind of getting balls.

SPEAKER_01 33:14

And about 200 mils of beer.

SPEAKER_02 33:17

Also, I didn't know that well, I guess I did now to think about it, but they're out the whole time. The hot dogs, we can see them at the bottom of the screen. They're gonna get ming in, they're gonna get flies if you put like sauce on them ahead of time. You're gonna have to get like a sachet for each one and put it on fresh. That's nine sachets. That probably triples the calories.

SPEAKER_00 33:33

That's it's embarrassing. Keep it going. It's embarrassing. I'll play the day with that.

SPEAKER_06 33:40

I don't think that's gonna happen. This is a little underwhelming for me. Underwhelming the whole thing, so you can just speed it up if you want.

SPEAKER_00 33:46

Well, yeah, eat the whole thing. That's the point. Well, you should hope so. You're on number three. Okay, so Oh my god, the shit of beer. The big sip at the end. Okay, so she's starting to get a bit drunk. Um, slow down! Wait, how long's an inning? About 20 minutes or so. Uh how long is an inning?

SPEAKER_02 34:10

I'm determined to get through a please.

SPEAKER_00 34:12

She wants to finish.

SPEAKER_03 34:15

Oh, it's it's 24 fluid ounces. So what is 24 fluid ounces?

SPEAKER_01 34:21

Is 710 mil.

SPEAKER_03 34:25

It's a it's less than a pint and a half.

SPEAKER_00 34:27

It says 1.5 pints, but it's not quite. It's 1.5 American pints, though. So it's like 1.3-ish pints. Across three hours. That you're having across three hours. And this is the stomach churning challenge. It's embarrassing. The 999, all American stomach churning challenge. Okay, it's not even pulled to the top. I like the little glass for the record. If I was a little glass on that, I said it switched. The glass is cute. Yeah, yeah. I love it.

SPEAKER_06 34:54

But like, I think I would struggle. We unfortunately did not complete the 999.

SPEAKER_00 35:01

469 challenge. I would struggle not to drink that in the two two hours and 40 minutes.

SPEAKER_06 35:08

She drank the entire beer. Oh, she should be sacked. Uncomfortably full and bloated. Do you know what?

SPEAKER_00 35:17

If this is the state of journalism, I back AI. Get Chat GPT in. I feel uncomfortably full and bloated because I had a pint and a third of beer and probably about two and a half hot though. So when when we watched, when we went and watched baseball in America. I I I think I loved it more than you. I I think you liked the sit-down and the beer and stuff. I liked five minutes. I liked being there with mates. The sport was nothing to me. That's fair, that's fair. Yeah, yeah. Um, and then I like boring sports, I like my snows, I like my crickets. But then I I I would struggle to not have had three beers there. I had like I think I had three of the cups of beer. There's not much I could do. I had two hot dogs. So I think I ate as much as her accidentally. Like it's not a challenge. Right, and then, thankfully, I then linked to another one right underneath by the Amarillo sod poodles. Love them. They then said, time to the real one. Full-size beer, full-size dogs, all the time. Wow. For immediate release.

SPEAKER_02 36:21

Yesterday we were shown imagery on social media of several MLB teams selling a pre-package, several of them have done. Not just the Mets! Not just the Metz. I assume this would just be the Mets, a pre-packaged 999 challenge. After careful review and consideration, we as an organization have decided not to acknowledge this, the true 999 challenge, and have decided to take matters into our own hands.

SPEAKER_00 36:38

See next slide for further details. So this one, that's a pro that's that that's the shit one. This is not what our forefathers would have wanted. This is the proper challenge.

SPEAKER_03 36:48

Also, forefathers, very woke.

SPEAKER_00 36:51

Nice.

unknown 36:52

Thanks.

SPEAKER_00 36:52

I was right for setting that. There we go. Right. So it's still a bit of a small one, but it says full-size beer, but that's probably an American pint, 500 mil. Fine. That's the pint in America.

SPEAKER_02 37:03

I guess it looks smaller because it's fat. So it does look smaller.

SPEAKER_00 37:06

And then a full-size dog. I think then they've got the next slide, is then all of them together. Oh, it's not. What?

unknown 37:12

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 37:12

That's great. So that is the same uh oh, that's on Thursdays only. Nine beers, nine hot dogs, 60 bucks. That is great for a football whatever, sports ground. Very good. So do you back yourself? Do you back yourself to do the firstly the woke shit one?

SPEAKER_03 37:33

I mean, yes, because there was this one time I had an entire slice of bread and followed it up with a glass of orange juice, and it didn't take me three hours.

SPEAKER_00 37:40

So I basically matched that. So yes, I I could. I think both of us would accidentally do it. Like if we were given just that tray, I could I I think we could both do it in no real effort in half of the time, in an hour and what would it be? An hour and twenty.

SPEAKER_03 37:59

Well, just imagine you go into the say you go into like if it's not sport and there's no innings, it's not broken up into twinnings, but you go to like the cinema, and they that you know, Citaborld says, Oh, there's a new offer, this little mini hot dogs and this little mini beers or for me siders, and it's like 30 quid. It'd be like, oh, go on then, why not? You'd give it through the film. You wouldn't not.

SPEAKER_00 38:15

That's not again, I'd actually do it.

SPEAKER_03 38:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:18

Um, this big one, that's a challenge. That's this is this is like a real challenge.

SPEAKER_03 38:22

Like Yeah, there's no picture of the full real thing, it's just that, which is a shame.

SPEAKER_00 38:26

But I guess what I would say is a good or 12 ounce beer, hang on, we can now see. Oh, wait, oh, that's not quite a pint then. That is oh, the sod poodles have let me down a little bit. Not the soders. 356 millilitres, so it's just over a bottle of beer.

SPEAKER_03 38:44

It's a can, it's a can.

SPEAKER_00 38:45

Nine cans is still a lot. Nine cans will get you fellow. It's still a lot, but it's not quite the pint that I was after. Very fair. That's fair. Yeah. But that's still that's still a tough one. Much more manageable now, because you're knocking off 200 mils per drink that you're having. Yeah. But yeah, so that's.

SPEAKER_03 38:59

I think we we manage that so easy. I love that it's going viral as well. We'll we'll have to try something like this at some point. If if anyone has got any challenges for us, let us know as well. Because like we we we like doing these challenges. We both. You didn't think it was possible, but on our stream we did the um one Terry Chocolate Orange in three minutes, and it was easier than you thought it would be?

SPEAKER_00 39:18

Uh I thought it would be obviously harder for me, not a sweet tooth. Um, and I was still able to do it in another three minutes, just about like 256 or something. You did yours in 225 or something like that? 220? I th I something like that, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:31

I mess up, I mess up a bit on the theory, but the actual eating of the chocolate was was quite easy. But yeah, we are we're always on the lookout for things like that, everybody. So so do let us know.

SPEAKER_02 39:39

Also, if you're still watching this, we're we're 40 minutes into this. Um if you're still here, I imagine you're having quite a good time. So I think just just like sub.

SPEAKER_03 39:47

I think hit like. We do need more subs. So we're we're we're trying to get monetized on YouTube, right? And we you have to get um 4,000 watch hours. No, you have to get 4,000 watch hours in 365 days, and you have to get a thousand subscribers. For the watch hours, we're about um sort of 60% of the way through 365 days, and we're on like 2,700. So we are well up on that on watch hours. What we're struggling with is subs.

SPEAKER_02 40:14

So if you're watching this and you're not subbed, just do us a favour. Just cling, tingling, get that button.

SPEAKER_00 40:19

We have now though, uh oh no, oh, we've not quite. We are one subscriber off passing our other Rocket League-based podcast, available on Epic Games right now. Um, so if you want a sub, give it a go. Give it a go. That'd be that'd be delightful.

SPEAKER_03 40:34

Uh we were talking about baseball earlier, Stumpy, and funnily enough, because I said to you I've got a thing to react to today. And then you went, Oh, I've got a little thing as well we can have a look at. Uh that baseball thing. And I went, What?

SPEAKER_02 40:43

Because I thought we'd both sucked up the same weird little baseball clip. But no, coincidence genuinely coincidentally, I've got my own baseball thing that I want to bring to the crowd.

SPEAKER_03 40:54

Can I show you this? Can you see my screen?

SPEAKER_00 40:56

Yeah, can I can I read that?

SPEAKER_03 40:58

Have a read.

SPEAKER_00 40:59

Just insane title. Um Tanner Bibi calls off David Fry to catch a pop-up. Two pitches later, and the entire infield swarms BB to prevent him from catching another. Okay, so I'm gonna play this in full. Okay. Just talk through what you're seeing. Okay. Right, uh, pitch and hit, dead on. Uh two players, the pitcher and the catcher, both go for the ball.

SPEAKER_05 41:28

And then catches him out.

SPEAKER_00 41:30

So that's good, I'd assume. Okay, so for the for the pitcher, he has caught the ball. Yep, and it was it was the it was the bowler that then caught it. Yeah, the pitcher. Yeah, watch it all the way, catches it in that. Give it a pause. Quite frankly, oversized fucking mitt. Way too easy. You you get given a bimbag to catch it in. It's huge. Catch it with your hand.

SPEAKER_03 41:52

But then, carry on watching, carry on watching. This is where it gets weird. So this is now fast forward, however many throws.

SPEAKER_00 41:58

Yeah, it gets popped up again. Oh, everybody runs in to go catch it. What? What did he ever do? And they're all annoyed at each other. Why? Why was that not Tanner's? Why do they all run in? I don't know. Is it because it's funny? I don't know. Is this banter? Do they hate each other? If they, if then that guy, the guy who catches it, like laughs and goes, hey, we got you, Tanner, and then like chugs it back to him. That's funny, that's a weird little thing. Tanner looks pissed.

SPEAKER_02 42:31

Yeah, right. This is I might I watched this, so this came on. I think I was on I I think I was on my regular Reddit.

SPEAKER_03 42:36

I wasn't on all or anything. I don't know why this came onto my Reddit feed, but for some reason it did. And I I like a bit of baseball, I like the big its, I like the diving catches, all that. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 42:43

It's fun to me.

SPEAKER_03 42:44

So I was like I'll check this out.

SPEAKER_00 42:45

It feels like a highlights-based sport. Like the highlights are cool, but then the actual sport is not.

SPEAKER_02 42:50

Like ultimately, like any sport, same with football.

SPEAKER_00 42:53

If you don't like football, watch the highlights all the time.

SPEAKER_03 42:55

Do you know what I mean? So that every sport's the same there. Um, but I watched this and normally, you know, I know enough about sport and various sports to be able to tell what's going on.

SPEAKER_02 43:04

I've got no idea. Is the first bit bad?

SPEAKER_00 43:07

Is it just comms? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Should he not be the guy?

SPEAKER_02 43:11

Are you not meant to catch it if it's going out of the one pops it up? Well, that would just be a foul.

SPEAKER_00 43:15

That would just From my knowledge of Wii baseball. Um if you hit it. You've got some history in this sport, so tell me what you know. Yeah, so I'm a proud Wii baseballer. Um, if it goes past that white line, then it lands, it's a foul ball. I don't know if that's like a strike or something, because he did swing and hit it, obviously, but he hits it out, so I don't think that counts as anything. I think they just go, all right. You can basically, as far as I know, you can have a ball. I think you have like maybe three foul balls, and then either you have to run or it's a strike. I don't know. But something happens after three, I think.

unknown 43:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 43:49

Which is so non committal from me. Brilliant. Um, thank God we've got the expert on. Thank God. So I think something happens if you hit it out a few times. So here. He's gone out to catch it, because that then means that he is now out. That's an out out. That batter is now gone. GG. If you're here for a foul, don't give a shit, right? Yeah, right. Is it because the the the the man behind the hitter? The catcher. Should that be his?

SPEAKER_02 44:17

I think that's why he's annoyed. Maybe the catcher like wants to get 100 catches, like a hat-trick, a catch trick or something. Catch trick, yeah, yeah. So he's like, it's like if the centre back steals the striker's goal. Yeah, yeah. The other way around sort of works. If the striker steals it, the striker's meant to be selfish, you know what I mean? They need to get the goals, get some informal that. But if the striker is thrown goal, gets it past the keeper, and the fucking centre back who's still up there, sprints, slides, and prods it home, the striker would be annoyed at the moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that what we're seeing here?

SPEAKER_00 44:45

Is it not his ball to go for? And Big Tanner BB, frankly, with a massive ass, is able to. Can you go back and look at his ass, please, real quick? Look at he looks like he's wearing a nappy. He's packing. He's got a fucking BBL. Look at that shit. So then, but then later on, Tanner B so it's called a pop-up.

SPEAKER_02 45:06

Oh, so this is one from the other night. This is one from the other night. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:09

So after the case, we then cut back to the other night. That to me feels like it's his, because that goes like in his zone of influence. And he's happy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:19

But then this time then calls.

SPEAKER_00 45:21

Oh look, the other guy. Oh, did Tanner not call it? I don't know. Because look, if you go back a little bit, look at how much he's like gesturing to him. Go back a bit more. He like he like waves him away. Look.

SPEAKER_03 45:33

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not good comms at all. They could have gone each other.

SPEAKER_00 45:36

Bad comms, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:37

But then so then later, this weird zombie one, and then he sort of apologizes. Oh, someone else apologises? I'm so lost. I've got no idea. But then, yeah, fast forward to later. And then this one, and they're all sprinting at.

SPEAKER_00 45:51

Everybody on there, for any audio listeners, everybody from their individual bases is running what I would describe as into Tanner's zone of influence. Like zombie-ish. They just sprint in there, and then the guy on first base then catches it, and then Tanner, our protagonist pitcher, looks particularly. He looked so annoyed.

SPEAKER_02 46:12

I've just got no and he just stands there.

SPEAKER_00 46:14

Well, what do the comments say?

SPEAKER_02 46:16

Yeah, I was gonna have a look at those afterwards, but look at him standing there. How weird is that? Is he the captain? Okay, before we look at the comments, do they have a captain?

SPEAKER_00 46:27

Do they have a concept of hierarchy? Baseball did not have a captain. Baseball didn't set me up at this point.

SPEAKER_03 46:34

But okay, what I think I think it's yeah, I think it's the in the first clip in the in the first clip, the centre back steals the striker's goal and the striker's pissed off. That's what he's doing.

SPEAKER_00 46:47

I think so too.

SPEAKER_02 46:49

But then in the second clip, the centre back's about to score, so the striker pushes him out the way and then scores himself. It's still weird.

SPEAKER_00 46:56

It's w I feel like that's just bad comms. It's clearly muddy comms. One person just needs to say, Mine, tatters! Mine to take. Yeah. Mine to take. Okay, shall we shall we have a look at the comments? Yes, go for it.

SPEAKER_02 47:11

So the third thing I'll say before we click off is I'm glad there's not one more K there, because annoying baseball would be That's what happens if they go out one more time.

SPEAKER_00 47:19

It's like, oh yeah, what's gonna happen? You're gonna get cancelled, guys. Okay, so with three Ks. Now we now try and what's our opinion? What does what does R baseball tell us our opinion is? He got a taste of catching a pop-up last start, and he wants it all the time now, lol. Okay. So a pop-up is caught and bold.

SPEAKER_03 47:38

So you throw it, you catch it. That must be a pop-up.

SPEAKER_00 47:41

Is it because it's like but it says a taste of catching a pop-up, which to me implies that it's rare. So to me, he's like, it was never his to catch. A pop-up is not his to catch, and he's now been like, oh, but I got that one. I now want to get more of them in the future.

SPEAKER_03 47:56

Should we look for more opinions? Is there some betting line that I've missed, Lol?

SPEAKER_00 48:02

Oh, the Cleveland announcers last game were alluding to him really wanting the golden glove this year. I don't know. That's true. I imagine that's Tana Bibby.

SPEAKER_02 48:11

No, I imagine that him is the wiki. The wicket keeper, like the wicked keeper.

SPEAKER_00 48:14

No, I don't think they're about the wicket keeper at all. No? No, I didn't know, because it says the title is Tana Bibby Calls Off David Fry. So it must be about Tana Bibby is the he in this situation. Okay. Is what I would argue.

SPEAKER_03 48:31

Fucking hell. This is like this is like some police detective work. Okay, next comment, you ready? Yeah, okay. They're like brothers trying to steal the oldest spotlight to impress mom lol.

SPEAKER_00 48:40

Love this chemistry. Okay, it's the guys who practice this all the time. This is so vague, but I get they're not expecting us to read this. Exactly. Exactly, exactly. We're peering into the baseball world. It's the guys who practice it all the time running in to take the play away from the guy who does not practice it all the time.

SPEAKER_02 48:59

What? Catching it with a glove? I've caught things with a glove. You don't need to practice. The glove does it for you.

SPEAKER_00 49:06

The glove does it for you. It does it for you. That's not the hard bit. The hard bit is hitting the ball. That that looks really hard. That is tough, yes. These these people are the prompt engineers of the sporting world. Okay. Okay, so now I see uh uh from evening ordinary. True, plus a pitcher doing a modest level change off the mound to go towards a ball adds difficulty no one else there have. So he's saying that because their height differ, so he's standing on a mound. Yeah, yeah, because he now has to move from mound to half a foot lower. They call it mound to ground. Mound because he's going mound to ground to try and pound sand is harder. And God forbid he then has to throw the ball a random distance after living. Oh my fucking god, they think that's the hard bit. Hang on. God forbid he has to then throw the ball a random distance after living 60 to 6 to a rectangle for over a hundred throws a game. If you can prevent a catcher from fielding, do it. So they're saying because he can only throw it from the mound, this exact distance from mound to the square that's super or the rectangle that's superimposed the batting uh rectangle or whatever, he then is unable to throw it to a man that is about 30 feet away. Because that's a fielder's job. That's insane. That is mental.

SPEAKER_02 50:32

That's insane.

SPEAKER_00 50:33

We we baseball, I bet I bet the the Miis would manage. Dude, you nailed it. I pitched up to a reasonably high level. Drives me fucking nuts when people don't understand why pitchers miss getting an easy ground ball to first. Motherfucker, I've been throwing the exact same way all day. And now I've got a moving target while I'm also moving and probably Fucking grow up! Throw the ball! You've been doing it since you were fetuses!

SPEAKER_02 50:59

You can throw the ball critically well. After fielding a ball is ridiculously difficult, lol. Okay, so we're starting to get it, we're starting to piece us together. It's because they're saying the bowler shouldn't have gone for the catch when other people can go for the catch, because the bowler is only do one throw.

SPEAKER_00 51:15

He can only do one type of throw at one distance from one height, and if he tries to do another one, his arm just turns into rubber and glue. Because he only does one throw, the really quick one, he's gonna rocket it through the skull of the man on first base.

SPEAKER_03 51:28

Alright, let's see next time.

SPEAKER_00 51:29

With frightening accuracy, it's like okay, so Tanner Bibby is the bad guy, is what we can tell, because he went and caught it, but then because he cannot physically throw it to first, which by all accounts he's already done, he's the bad guy. Alright, I I I stand with the bibinator. I stand with big bibs.

SPEAKER_03 51:50

I stand with big bibs, you know?

SPEAKER_00 51:52

It can't do we stand with big bibs stumpy as officially unofficially. I think I'm gonna have to stand with big bibs because he's realised maybe I can throw in two different ways. Without the battle, without 60 to 60. So fucking insane. Have we seen enough of it? Have we seen enough of it? No, let's keep going through. You want to see more comments? Okay. Uh fuck the Philz, but you're a McCutcheon zip powder blue and the rooms look so I want to kill myself.

SPEAKER_03 52:21

We've got to do an episode at some point where uh it's an idea I've had before where we look at either subreddit like explain the joke and we try and figure it out. Yeah. Or we ask people to send us obscure subreddit posts like this one. They're specifically. And we try and piece together. Exactly. Like, we go to massive in Magic the Gathering, send us the most Magic the Gathering-y subreddit post you can find, and we've got to put it all together, or baseball, or anything else.

SPEAKER_00 52:46

I was thinking like going to for some reason I first thought was R slash motherboards, right? And they're like, oh my god, you soldered R to J7. No wonder it doesn't work.

SPEAKER_01 52:55

And we've got to try and figure out what the fuck's going on.

SPEAKER_00 52:58

What's best as well is when it's like in jokes as well, you know, like um, don't solder the boulder or whatever. A million up votes. Like, oh, what the fuck does that mean? But then like, it's not the subrank's fault. I want to get that really clear. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 53:10

It's our fault for not knowing. This is for them. They aren't anticipating us to go in and get it. We are not the audience for it, but it's so funny.

SPEAKER_02 53:18

Oh fucking hell, we've hit the mother load. We've hit the fucking mother load. What does that say, Stumpy? Okay.

SPEAKER_00 53:24

Lemon Smashy, the goat. So what's wrong with a pitcher catching a pop-up? I'll correct the typo. Yeah, good question. Scurvy Jenkins replies nothing really wrong with it. You'd just like anybody else to do it. Injury risk, fucking Christ. What? And pitchers don't practice or get reps at fielding slash catching pop-ups like a position player does. He is catching a ball that is falling at normal speed with a bin bag on his hand to catch it in, and then throwing it to his mate about 30 feet away. It's not that hard.

SPEAKER_02 53:57

I mean apparently it is, because Max MSE says I'd say anyone but the catcher. You ever catch pop-ups in a catcher's mit, bad times.

SPEAKER_00 54:05

So the catcher's. But it's for catching! The catcher is the wicket keeper. So he's got a different glove to the other. Like a folded glove or whatever. Or like a big glove that's then two bin bags strapped together or whatever. So that's harder to catch it in.

SPEAKER_02 54:18

There we go. You really want it to be anyone but the pitcher and catcher, but I really wouldn't want my pitcher, hashtag my pitcher, making a habit of sprinting off the mound while looking up and going that far into foul territory. Plan for the worse, and reality is you can replace a catcher much easier than a good starter.

SPEAKER_00 54:36

So is he saying that then he's out of position? Is this the s is this the defender running up in football to go and get a header when you're at one all and then you're thinking up? You're then the goalie. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's one all and there's still half an hour left, and the keeper goes up for a header. And you're thinking, yeah, he can head the ball. He's probably quite good at that, but leave it to the people whose job it is because we've only got our backup keeper.

SPEAKER_02 55:02

With the added context that three weeks ago in the 95th minute, when the team did need an equaliser, the goalkeeper went up and got the header. He's got the header. So he's got that at the moment.

SPEAKER_00 55:10

He's got the taste for a header, he's got the taste. He's got to bullet at a bad time because actually the the the centre back or one of the tall strikers is already in the box waiting for the header. And he then goes on an hour. And he then says Pickford and goes for it.

SPEAKER_02 55:29

But he scores again, but he did it! So he scored again.

SPEAKER_00 55:31

Pickford with half an hour left against Brentford. Score the winner. That's such funny imagery. But now I get it. It's Pickford running up.

SPEAKER_01 55:41

Pick Fern! And like calling it, he's half a foot shorter than the others. And he he gets the header. And then I love okay. Spartian has then said, sure, but they're professional catchers. They're literally paid to catch. Give them up. Thank you. Yeah, okay, okay, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 55:59

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 56:00

I don't think it's ideal for a catcher to catch one in fair territory due to the angle they're coming from, but foul pop-ups are not really a problem. And sure, an MLB catcher should be able to catch anything, agreed. It's just easier for the infielders, so why not let them, you know?

SPEAKER_00 56:13

So basically they're saying it's unnecessary risk. Let them catch it. Let the guy who catches it at this angle and is used to it catch it. I would say, however, I would back me to catch that ball nine out of ten times, and I have played with a baseball glove twice in my life. You wouldn't need the glove, mate, because you're British. I would not I I could just go. I would quite I would quite simply cuff my hands together and catch the fucking ball. I cannot explain how any audio listeners, fuck yourselves, but also how easy that ball looks to catch. It's straight above you. It didn't look particularly sunny. There's no sun in your eyes. No wind. It's just coming down, and you just go, Mine to take.

SPEAKER_03 57:02

One of my favourite memories. So uh Sumpy and I, for anyone who doesn't know, we we cast in the RLCS, we commentate the Rocket League World Championship series. It's available in the Epic Store. Free to play.

SPEAKER_00 57:11

Physics based game, would you recommend? Yeah, it's like playing with uh uh Tanner Bibby's glove. Imagine you're the glove and you're controlling everything. That's how physics-based it is.

SPEAKER_03 57:19

And um one of the events we did was in Düsseldorf, and it was in an ice hockey stadium. Um but before, obviously, the ice wasn't there, it wasn't icy, it was just this big empty arena. And were you there for this week there when we played? Because one of them brought a baseball. Yeah, so we the one of them brought a baseball and two of them brought gloves, and they were chucking it around. We were like, Can we play? Me, Stumpy, and a couple of Aussies, uh, Yummy Cheese Man and CJCJ. And they were like, the Americans are like, oh man, you'll you'll need a glove.

SPEAKER_00 57:47

But we went, no, we won't. No, we're good. And don't get me wrong, it's a hard ball. If that ball is absolutely being pung at you, it would really shatter your hand. If they're if you're you know pitching, then you can shatter as it as it would with a cricket ball, it would shatter your hand. Uh, catching a tennis ball is considerably easier, right? Like it's still a very solid piece of leathery ball, whatever, right? It's hard to catch if it's going fast. If you are throwing it overarm to your mate, you can just simply catch it. You can cup and cushion. Like we cupped and cushioned. Yeah, we did. It's fine. It was absolutely fine. And we were just getting further and further away. Because the Aussies, as well, you know, they're big on cricket as well, and they were like, what are these guys all about? And the Americans were using their little gloves. Using their little gloves. And don't get me wrong, the glove is fun. When I was in a San Diego for Rocket League event, um, we had like, I don't know, six gloves or something, and it was really fun. Catching with no catching with the glove on your left, you just go bang, grab it, throw it back. It's so auto. It's just, it's your hand in about the right area. Done. You now have a ball in your possession.

SPEAKER_03 58:57

I did let the um intrusive thoughts win at one point though, when we were in that big arena. Uh, yummy cheese man, who's uh who's a big, loud, confident Aussie, um, he had a bottle of water. Um he he hadn't opened it yet, but he just had it down next to him. And we were about sort of 10 metres away from the nearest sort of set of chairs. And I I saw it there, stood up next to him, and I I just I just thought I'm gonna do it.

SPEAKER_00 59:21

And I just sprinted up to it, and I just kicked it as hard as I could into the seats, and it just went everywhere.

SPEAKER_03 59:27

It was a dick move because ultimately someone had to I think I tried to wipe it, but someone probably had to wipe that up. I felt terrible, but also he just looked at me like, Why?

SPEAKER_00 59:36

Why that made me funny? He's like, Oh yeah, fair enough, it was kind of funny. It was so funny. It was kind of funny. Yeah, okay, so basically we've decided that that is the wettest sport is baseball, because you need the glove to catch, and then you're not catching it quite in the right way. If you think that baseball is not the wettest sport going, drop a comment below. I'm sure we'll be angry Americans down there saying, uh, actually, Tanner BB isn't meant to catch at a bad angle. He's more of a he's more of a 70-degree kind of guy. Yeah, they all right. He he's he's got the hand equivalent of CED or whatever it's called, where his hand is fused in one direction, so he can only catch upwards. He's got the murderer's hand. The hand is whispering to him. You want to shoot that bloke in the head, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:20

Alien hand syndrome.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:22

Yeah, maybe it's that. Have you heard of that? He puts on the fake hair, and then he becomes a murderer.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:29

Now, this might be the first sentence reference you've made that I don't know. I don't know that one.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:33

What's the name of the criminal guy? Who has the snake? He puts on uh uh snake's hair, and then he then becomes a gangster and becomes murderous. Do you not remember that?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:44

Is that a tree? No, is that a tree house of horror episode?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:46

I think Snake gets uh killed in the electric chair. Homer wants a hair transplant, they hair transplant snake's hair onto him, and he's then controlled by the Is there like a wiggly, does it sort of wiggle as it moves?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:59

Think so amble. Okay, I can I can I can think of that imagery, but that's about it. That's about all I can think of.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:05

Okay, Snake Homer hair transplant. Simpson's Treehouse of Horror 9.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:10

Um was what else happened in Treehouse of Horror 9? Let me see if I can place any of them.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:15

Uh oh, okay. It oh, three self-contained segments. Hell Tupé. Um, that's a good name. Name first. That's also uh Homer gets a hair transplant, is possessed by the spirit of an executed criminal. The terror of Tiny Toon. Do you want to know what that is? Yeah, yeah, tell me, tell me. R and Lisa are trapped in a special extremely violent episode of Itchy and Scratchy show. I don't remember that.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:39

I don't remember this one.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:40

No. Uh and Starship Poopers. Marge reveals that Maggie is a product of a one-night stand with the alien Kang. I remember that, because then the like R or whatever, the promotional picture is them on Jerry Springer with Kang backstage and her and Homer sitting on the stage, and Maggie's got the tentacles. Do you remember Maggie has all the little tentacles? And then she like she goes on the ceiling, goes, I might not have seen that one.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:01

I might tell you what, I probably have at some point when I was six or whatever, and there's probably one joke where I'll see it and I'll go, oh yeah, I remember that. That's the joke where the the the Homer drops the hammer on his foot or whatever, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:12

This what you just looked shocked at. What have you seen? The original air date for a reference that I have just made. 93 or 98 or something? It's 1998. Oh great job. Very good job. I was three years old when this air, and I referenced it 28 years later.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:30

That's I mean, yeah, but great film.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:32

You know, that's that that is the permanence of uh The Simpsons of a Goodfellas of an officially unofficially episode 26. You know, these things they they get they get referenced long into the future, and that's a beautiful thing, you know, when real quality has been made.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:46

I am amazed that I've made a Simpsons reference that you didn't know off the off the rib. That's my way the first time it's ever happened.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:53

Well, because you you've been an angry man recently. You've got a rant for me that uh we're sort of wrapping up time-wise, but I do want to hear your rant because you said you've got one or two things to get off your chest. So before we go, I do want to know what you got.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:04

This morning, I woke up and I thought I'm gonna have a nice shower, record at half ten, it's gonna be lovely, right? Go downstairs, do a little bit of washing up, and I think the hot tap's not coming on properly. Yeah. Like all the water's coming up, but it's like completely cold. Normally it takes like what 10 seconds, and then you get like warm water. Um, still freezing cold. I open the little boiler cupboard, it says zero bars of pressure. I'm thinking Oh, you had to re-bar it. I'm thinking, oh, for fuck's sake.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:29

Because then there's loads of twisty things. It's like which fucking one do I twist?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:32

Loads of stuff, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:33

I don't know why none of them have if bar low, tilt the right, tilt the yellow one to the right. You never know that.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:39

Do you want to know what's annoying? Every single thing that I looked at on YouTube said it was like a minute and a half tutorial. I'm thinking, oh my fucking god, easiest thing in the world. Brilliant. Because if a tutorial is like, how to fix this, 18 minutes, I'm like, oh my god. Yeah, I'm gonna do it. No equipment here. It's already all there for you. Easy peasy, I'll show you how to do it. I'm thinking, thank you very much, YouTube man. Uh I go on a thing and it says, so all you need to do is um you need to find your like water inlet, you need to find your okay, it mains cold, and then uh the filling pipe will be connected between the two. And they show a boiler, and it's got, say, five like brass tubes going into it, five pipes going into it. It's quite confusing that they're all going on, different colour coded. And there's this doesn't exist. You're inlet, you're inlet. I don't have this on my boiler. I don't know what's going on. So I'm then like you got a combi? You got a regular? It's a combi. And I'm I'm just confused at this point. I've asked as if I know what the fuck you uh oh yeah, combi. It does two things. By the name it does two things. I'm not a boiler man, right? I then am on YouTube looking at different diagrams for my uh different PDFs, looking up the exploded diagram of my boiler so it can then point to all of the different things on the setup to then what it would then be telling a boiler installing man or they then to then say this is what you need to kill it to that. No, of course not, no. Um so I then am completely lost. It says it's an easy fix, it clearly isn't. Um I then realize that I need to connect two pipes together. It says, if yours doesn't already have the pipes connected, you need to buy a pipe that can connect. Basically, you need to refill it with water to then get the pressure back. There's a leak somewhere. So I then think, okay, I found two things that sort of work with that. I've now found the terminology. I'm like half an hour deep. I found the terminology that I need of like it was like a filling hose or a filling pipe. Filling Luca is what it was. I think, okay, I'll go on screw fix. I find one of screw fix, like 17 quid. So I'm like, fine. If that's the fix, I now need to buy this thing. Cool. I will do that. Um, and because the man has said on YouTube it's an easy fix, and everywhere says it's an easy fix, we're not gonna claim on the warranty.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:52

I've I've heard things that are easy fixes. Easy is like aimed at people with working fingers, you know, is aimed at people with with brains. And often I can be none of the things.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:02

You can be below that.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:03

I can definitely be below that.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:04

Well, I backed myself because I thought I can follow a 90-second tutorial, most of which is intro. So I go to screw fix, I get the filling loop, I then go home, and I'm thinking, literally, I'm holding this pipe, and I'm like, where the fuck does this connect to? I'm like, all of the things that they have said that it should connect to don't exist on my boiler. I've sent pictures to Anna's dad. Anna's dad's very good at fixing things. We had a call with them, uh, and they're like, right, have you got this on there? I'm like, I don't know. I'm I'm having a look. I'm getting emasculated by the second. I'm like, I don't know what's happening. Like, it's just this thing doesn't exist as far as I'm concerned. Um, get off the phone, send over pictures and stuff, and then turns out they've like covered up the bit that I need with a piece of wood that you can just slide away, and it reveals like five more pipes. It was a fucking hidden compartment. What you fucking up pulled out one book and it all spun. All of a sudden, there's new pipes with this pipe connected that then very nicely just has arrow pointing that way and an arrow pointing that way. So one down, one up, and then all it said was, yeah, just fucking turn the valves on, wait for the pressure to get to like two bar, turn it off, turn boiler back on.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:21

So it was a really easy fix in the end, but there was so much as- Wait, how is this hidden? What do you mean it was hidden like in the wall? Is it like a bigger one?

SPEAKER_00 1:07:27

No, it was literally a slide-away piece of like wood that I guess they'd covered up the ugly pipes with, because it's in our kitchen next to the sink and the cooker and whatever.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:34

Oh, ours is under the ours is under our stairs, so ours is sort of hidden away.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:38

Oh yeah, no, ours is like in the kitchen next to the sink. Okay. So they've put it there for aesthetic purposes, which is good because it is ugly behind there. Um, but I didn't you'd have to I just saw I saw two pipes going down. What I can only assume is it's a fucking void. I'm like, did you tap tap tap tap tape? I just put my hand down there. I put my hand down and I felt around, and then Anna then goes, don't fiddle with the things down there. You don't know what that is. And I'm like, it feels like the pipe that I can see in the video. I think this is it, and then pull it open, and then it literally has the thing that I've been seeing for about an hour and a half in these easy tutorials, and I then just go, Oh, turn it on, turn it on. I then hear the water go. Yeah, water doesn't matter. Gets the two bar, and then I turn it off, turn it off, restart the boiler, and then it goes, yep, all good, happy days. Wow. But I was summoned up it's assumed knowledge. You have to start at zero. You can't just say, connect this pipe to your uh cold water in and your um and your uh mains water. I don't know what that is. There is there is there is a nice irony though that the bar was too high. It's annoyingly nice, isn't it? It's like that's the name of the this chronicle. The bar is too if this is the Simpsons episode. Yeah, I was gonna say, yeah, Tree House of Horror, Stumpy does his house. Yeah, I did this this the assumed knowledge just annoys me when they think that you know what's going on. Is that a dumb thing though?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:09

Is that a dumb thing to hide some bits for aesthetic purposes behind a sliding bit of wood? Like, is that taught in boiler school or did they improv?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:15

Did they get there, this fucking artist of boileries, and go, uh, you know, Jenkins, I've I've I've I've figured it out. I've figured out how to make this fucking house in Liverpool not repulse everyone who comes into their kitchen. What I'm gonna do is shove a bit of wood.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:30

Shove a bit of a slow clap. Brilliant.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:33

Because they'll know to look behind that if then anything goes wrong with this fucking boiler. The Michelangelo, the Bobelangelo. It infuriated me because I was like, I don't know what I'm looking at, I don't know what I'm looking for. I got uh oh, I've got another rant, very very short rant. Uh and then we should fuck off. Yeah, ticket sales for uh for a gig that I was very much looking forward to, that I'm looking forward to. Uh that was coming up. That was at 10 a.m. this morning. Who you're seeing? Hang on. Uh that was at 10 a.m. this morning. Who you're seeing? That's a I'm talking. I'm I'm saying I'm saying the thing. I'll get there. I want to know who you're seeing in this person. Wait, about honestly, 10 seconds.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:11

I didn't know that. You just said, mate. Who you see?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:14

Give me 10 seconds to delay a little bit of groundwork and then say.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:20

It sounded like you were trying to skirt around who you were seeing. You were like, oh, so I want to get these tickets for this person I really want to see, and then it's like, well, okay, who? Why did you interrupt?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:27

I was 10 seconds away.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:30

Impatient story for a steamboat. No, no, no, no, no, no, sorry, no, that's not what this is. I thought you were weirdly skirting around the fact. Why? You know, I don't know. That's why I was weird. I'm seeing Gary Glitter or something. Are you seeing Gary? I'm achieving Gary Glitter until you tell me otherwise.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:46

Until I say, which would have been about a minute ago now, I'm seeing. I was waiting to buy some tickets at 10am to see an art that I was looking forward to. We had a group chat set up with some friends. We're all waiting forward for that. You don't need to know yet! You don't need to know. Just be a patient listener. But it's weird, it's weird to withhold this information. I'm not withholding it, I just haven't got to it yet.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:11

That's so strange, but go on, okay. It's not strange. It is.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:14

I'm telling the story. You're still not gonna do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:17

No, it's not an impatient, this is an impatience thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:19

It's the twice in three seconds.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:24

Yeah, because the way you worded it is, oh, this thing I really want to see. Oh, which one? I haven't got there yet. It's like what?

SPEAKER_00 1:11:30

Gary Glitter. Okay, right. So you want to see Gary Glitter? Okay, now I'm in. It changes nothing about the story, and I was going to get to me saying that. Arguably that does change quite a lot about the story. I I like it more. Okay, so uh I was uh waiting to buy tickets, um, and that was coming at 10am. I'm thinking this is a laptop job to buy tickets because I just want to make sure it all goes through smoothly. Phones can like refresh the tab and stuff, and like then you lose your spot in the queue. Um, it got to about 9.55, and that's then when I discovered the fucking secret compartment of my boiler, but then it managed to work. Everything's coming up at once. All of a sudden. So that then worked, and then sit down at like 9.58 or something, and then I get in the queue for Noah Khan tickets. There you go. Did you give up on Garaglitter? Gave up on Garry Glitter, yeah. Um, as people should have done it about 20 years ago. Um, and uh ended up uh getting in the queue for that. Gig tickets now are so expensive.£110 for normal standing tickets, right? There are two tiers of standing ticket. I think they've literally split the crowd in half. So there's a back half of the gig that was£110, right? That's the cheap one. That's the cheapest standing is£110. Yeah, that's right. Seated in a good position was£130. If you want to stand in the front half of this gig, it was£164. That's so fucked up. That's so fucked.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:05

Especially when he was gonna perform, but there was COVID on the plane.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:08

Very good lyric. Yes, I do like that. Good memory. There was COVID on the plane.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:13

There was COVID on the plane. No, that's I completely agree with that. That is messed up. That is like that would be justified for I think that's justified just about for like Euroases.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:22

I agree. That is justified for maybe a Beyoncé or a Taylor Swift. I was saying like a a cold play where everybody's got those like light-up bracelets that do all the things, an ear is tall. I agree, a Beyonce. Something that in 50 years you're gonna say, I went to this one gig, you know, Queen Live 8 or whatever it was.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:40

Yeah, yeah. That is worth that uh, you know, equivalent in the 80s money, but not your average Noah Khan gig. I completely I'm not ripping on I like Noah Khan, not as much as I'm gonna be like.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:49

I agree as my favourite artist. I yeah, it's it's a complete piss take. It's uh we were expecting like 80 odd, like for standing. It's still a lot that is feels like a number that's been bullied into us as people. Agreed, completely agreed. But like, isn't that mental to split the crowd in two to then have- You know what's up with that?

SPEAKER_02 1:14:07

There's like a gap.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:08

So I imagine there is literally a second barrier.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:13

That's so weird. That that feels like milking. That feels like milking the Noah heads.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:19

So we've literally said as yeah, as our like we we saw him uh in like a two and a half thousand person arena, like a real small one.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:28

Um like a hundred quid for two and a half thousand.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:31

No, no, no, no, no. Hang on, hang on. So we saw him in a small arena about three years ago, uh, and that was like that was I think like 40 quid a ticket or something. Right, yeah, I guess. And that was brilliant. That was like an O2 uh warehouse in Manchester, very good. We then saw him at the um uh co-op live arena in Manchester last year, and that was I think that was 80 quid for a ticket, and that was 21,000 people. He's now performing in front of another 21,000 people in the AO arena in Manchester for one minimum£110 per ticket.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:07

It's like at some point you can pay you can charge it and they will come, sure. But do you want to? When you are that wealthy and you are when you're a singer, songwriter, artist, whatever, you you sort of want to come across as like one of the people. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:15:25

Especially for him, he's he's that chill, like uh uh uh like banjoe mumpad and sunsee guitare country-ish vibe. Like he's not it's not mental. It's very well produced, but it's not cosplay having a massive fucking elephant in there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay, okay, yeah. No, that's that's obscene. So that's 2.3 million pounds just on this one night. That's the minimum ticket cost at uh uh£110, by the way. For the one night, he's doing two nights there, and this is two nights out of about 30 on his tour.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:58

So you don't need to charge that much. Because surely that gives negative vibes, and at some point there's a tipping point. It must be. Where people think, like say, you know, you wanted your best pal Cool Cole to come, right? You'll say, Oh Cole, do you want to come along? You're looking like no car. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. If you told me 50 quid, I'll be like, yeah. Yeah. If you told me 100 quid, I think wanker. I think fuck him. I think I don't want to listen to his music anymore. I think he's a tosser. And sure, there he'll maybe he'll always fill those stadiums, but I don't know that.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:25

I know I completely agree.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:26

But there must just be some point where it's not worth the extra 200k you'll make.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:31

Because this tour, if I've got it right, is going to be making, or is going to uh be bringing in, obviously pre-profit, whatever, blah blah blah, 70 million pounds, right? And I would also say he released a song that has been long awaited, The Great Divide, and it has been uh the music video is sponsored by MasterCard. So at the start of the video, it shows a fucking MasterCard logo and there's product placement throughout the music video, and then his tour is sponsored by MasterCard as well. So he's also getting the credit card bag as well as quite frankly when you see it.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:13

I think it will love my wife and whatever. Are you like? I think I think it will.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:17

Like, it's it's such a shame because I adore him. The music, it's incredible. I love it. It has put in the group chat that we're in to get tickets, it has it's put such a bad taste in our mouths. We've all said this will now probably be the last time that we see him, because it's like I can't justify£110 every time that he then comes to the UK. It's a piss that's a very good thing. Uh no, uh no, there's two nights in uh London, two in Glasgow, two in Belfast, two in Manchester, or something like that. Um and then he's also then doing the ones in like Stockholm, Oslo, whatever, like the classic stops in Europe.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:57

I mean, fair fair enough, you know, do your touring and make your money, but when you're it just seems like money grubbing from the people who will go and see, and you don't need to do that because he's gonna have generational wealth, whatever he does. But then maybe I'm a you know socialist cuck and I'm not quite seeing it as if if I you know, when we do officially unofficially live in 2027, that's the dream. Yep. All I want for us to do OU Live is like 20 quid a ticket, we fill the room with like 50 people and we pay for that room.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:26

Yeah. That is my dream. Just cover my dream. However, if someone said to me, you could charge triple that and make 300 quid, I would be like, fuck the listeners. Would you really?

SPEAKER_03 1:18:36

Oh, instantly. Instantly, just like that.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:39

God, well everybody, if you want to come to OU Live in 2027, let us know in the comments. Otherwise, this has been a bumper episode, quite frankly. Of OU'd uh an hour and twenty. So I hope you enjoyed listening to about five minutes. It was you on the phone that I'm gonna have to cut. Oh, yeah, true, because I did say my entire address. I thought I'd muted. I thought I'd learn and press the mute button.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:59

Did you really? I thought you purposely didn't. I thought you just wanted to be to l to listen with some.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:02

No, that's why I mouthed sorry to you, because I was on the phone.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:05

Ah, no, you said sorry, I heard it. Oh, did I? Yeah, I think so. Or maybe you just mouth that bit. Either way, I heard everything, but it's gonna be cut for anyone who's listening, so I don't know why we're even talking about it, because I don't know anything.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:15

Thank you for listening to officially.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:17

Unofficially.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:17

The best podcast on the internet. Appreciate you all. Give it a like, give it a subscribe, give it a yeah, just give it a bloody everything. Drop a comment um of is baseball the wettest American sport or were we too harsh on it? And could you defeat the 999 challenge? Let us know. Thanks all.