AITA for Abusing my Niece? 🤔 Officially Unofficially #34

Another Reddit episode! This time Judge Stumpy and Lawyer guy Coolcole go through some of the most CONTROVERSIAL AITA posts of the last few weeks and the debate gets SPICY.

Fear not, we veer wildly off-topic throughout <3 

Leave a 5* review and a comment - we read them all :) 

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Order! Order in the court! Bang, bang, bang! We are here to judge the worst. You want me to get a hammer?

SPEAKER_02 0:10

Yeah, get a gavel.

SPEAKER_03 0:13

My judge's box? Yeah, yeah. Leave the judge's box.

SPEAKER_02 0:17

Stumpy's a judge today. I'm uh I'm a poor lawyer who uh who needs some work. Do you have anything gavely? A gavel would make this whole thing complete. He's going oh, that's the gavel of our dreams. Now, alright, alright, okay. Take two. Restart. Let's go. Let's do this.

SPEAKER_03 0:32

I don't really want to hammer my for any audiences, go fuck yourselves for anyone who's watching. I literally just have a hammer. Like a um what can I hit? Okay. Yoshi. I don't want to hit Yoshi, he's made of plastic. Have I got like a box or something that's not gonna break?

SPEAKER_02 0:47

What about the big Rocket League ball?

SPEAKER_03 0:49

No, here we go. Right, okay, I have a box. Okay, perfect.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

Order!

SPEAKER_03 0:54

Order!

SPEAKER_01 0:57

So yes, sir.

SPEAKER_03 0:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Shut up!

SPEAKER_03 0:59

Shut up! Uh we are here to judge the worst of Reddit. And you are the jury, everybody who has tuned in. You are the jury for this episode. We have both brought stories. So my judge role becomes a little bit muddied quite quickly. Very quickly, yeah. Very quickly. We've both brought stories. I mostly wanted to use a hammer. We've both brought stories and we will be judging. Am I the asshole? And also I found a different suburb that I've heard of. Just Am I wrong? Oh, that's a nicer wording, isn't it?

SPEAKER_05 1:29

That's like am I am I the bad guy? Normally. Normally, I've learned. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:33

Normally. I've got a biggie to start with. You want to go with your biggie smalls, do you? Okay. Iggy Iggy too biggie. Would you like me to start off the rip?

SPEAKER_02 1:43

I would love for you to present it to the jury? The court? The defendant? Again, muddied.

SPEAKER_03 1:50

Wearing a tie.

SPEAKER_02 1:52

So like what wears a tie? The defendant, I suppose.

SPEAKER_03 1:55

I guess so. The stenographer. I'll type. I'll type as we go. You also look like you've been done over like a traffic sex crime. Which I don't know how that would necessarily work.

SPEAKER_02 2:05

Yeah, okay, well, let's find out what I've been done for. Alright, this is AIT. Is this AIT Air or is am I wrong?

SPEAKER_03 2:10

This is Am I the Arsehole on officially, unofficially, the best blooming courtroom on the internet. That was way quicker than the last episode, which took us about half an hour.

SPEAKER_02 2:30

I think we've on average about 15 minutes for each one, which is what we were.

SPEAKER_03 2:33

That one has dramatically brought the average down, which is quite nice. Okay, so um would you like the title?

SPEAKER_02 2:39

Yes, let's go, let's do this. I'm so ready.

SPEAKER_03 2:42

Am I the arsehole for locking myself in my office when we have company? Now this one reminded me of you. I was thinking, my first thought is okay, no, you're not.

unknown 2:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:51

Off the rip. Mo, I need to hear no more. I, 36 female, took in my mother during the pandemic after some medical issues. I never made her move out after. It works for us, she has her own bedroom and bathroom. What's that called? Like a granny annex or something like that. Granny annex.

SPEAKER_02 3:06

That's like a side little side balcony thing.

SPEAKER_03 3:08

Yeah, where you've got like a little area of the house that has a little kitchenette, bits and bobs, a shed. Uh she has her own bedroom and bathroom. We share other spaces, and I work from home most of the time so I can look after her. My stepdad died about a decade ago and she was lonely. It made sense for us. Rip, of course. Uh sustained. Sustain the rip. Sustain the rip. Uh as mentioned, I work from home most of the time, and a lot of times I'm in some kind of Teams meeting or call. Yes, even those that could be emails, but that's not important.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

Oh, little a s little aside for our for our office workheads out there.

SPEAKER_03 3:41

I love to have the office heads in chat. So I don't really have time for chit-chat during office hours. My mum's sister, aka and my aunt, as she is commonly known, tends to drop by unannounced to visit with my mum.

SPEAKER_02 3:55

To be fair, no, to be fair, my aunt could be my dad's sister. It could be the other sister. So in her defence, in her defence, Your Honor, it it there is reason for it. Sustained, denied. Sustained. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 4:08

Um lippiness from the judge will not be tolerated. Uh my arms' sister, AK and my aunt, tends to drop by unannounced to visit with my mum, which I don't really mind, but she had a tendency to step into my office without knocking while I'm working and start talking to me about her neighbour's sister's kid who did blah blah blah. I've more than once explained to her that I'm working, and or I'm on a call and I can't really chat right now. But she just keeps talking like nothing happened. Insane for a person to do that, first of all, right? That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 4:41

Well, she might be, you know, losing her marbles a bit, bless her, might mum bear in mind. So she might be struggling to comprehend.

SPEAKER_03 4:46

This is her mum's sister, aka her aunt.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

Okay, well, aka her aunt might be losing her marbles a little bit, bear in mind as well. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:54

Today, she actually announced to my mum she was coming over. I reminded my mum to tell her I'm working and um and I'm on calls and can't be disturbed. And my mum agreed she would tell her not to bother me. But just to be safe, I locked my office door so she couldn't walk in. Very reasonable so far. Brilliant. Yeah, I like it. It's good problem solving. Despite my mum telling her, she came upstairs and tried to open the door. When it didn't open, she started knocking and calling out, Hello, it's me, open up!

SPEAKER_06 5:23

That's Mendel!

SPEAKER_03 5:25

Oh, that's horrible. I didn't respond. I didn't respond at first as I was on a call with a client, but she kept banging on the door so loudly, I ended up having to put the client on hold. I told her without opening the door, I was on a call and could not talk right now, and my aunt left in her house. Now she's bombarding my mum with text about how rude I was for locking myself in my office, knowing I was having company. So, am I the asshole?

SPEAKER_02 5:52

Oh, my first thought is no one million percent not. Unless there's some other context that we're missing. Because it's not like if she'd invited Aunt we don't have a name, do we? Aunt Doreen over and said, like, oh yeah, come over, make yourself at home, Bessie. And um, if you if you if you want to come in do and then it's locked, that's on you. That's weird then. That's very weird. But as far as I know, Bessie's just like, right, dear, I'm coming over.

SPEAKER_03 6:20

I'm gonna She'd set the boundary as well. Made it clear, and Bessie's just not getting it at all. Like, repeatedly, if you come to my house, fine. She's not blocking her from coming to our house. Like, that's okay. She's still allowed in the home, but just don't come in my office when I'm working. That is an incredibly reasonable thing. Do you think that the aunt just doesn't respect it because she's like, Well, you can't work if you're at home because it might be that live.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

Yeah, it might be work where you live.

SPEAKER_05 6:46

Right, dear. Computers are for two things taxes and porn.

SPEAKER_02 6:51

And I can walk in on you doing either of those as much as I like. Either way, somebody's getting fucked. Very good, very clever.

SPEAKER_03 7:00

Thank you. Sustained. We have got an update. We have got an update today.

SPEAKER_02 7:08

There must be more context about in some way Bessie's in the right, because so far I'm getting no vibes of this person being remotely TA.

SPEAKER_03 7:16

I hope this turns around. So Me too. Come on, Bessie. Uh is this person the arsehole? This is the update uh for having her aunt like walk into her office or bang on the door when she's working, when she told her not to. Uh, update. Went to dinner for a few hours, returned to Reddit. This post has fucking exploded. First of all, thank you. Oh, I don't care about any of this, blah, blah, blah. Now for the update. After I've finished my workday, I took my mum out for dinner and we discussed the matter. She hadn't responded to any of her sisters, my aunties, texts because she is fully on my side. Babe! Get on, mum. Get on, mum. Uh, I know people are asking why my mum didn't stop her. My mum isn't very mobile anymore, and my aunt simply got up from her and went upstairs.

SPEAKER_05 8:00

No, Bes! Bes! Bes, you can't- Fuck off!

SPEAKER_03 8:05

Fuck off, Janet! I'm upstairs. She can't be working because she's at home.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

I'll just stay here and drink my tea and be sad and old.

SPEAKER_03 8:14

Puts like marbles on the stairs just in case she tries to come up. Um, okay, so okay, the mum, so she's fine. From what we can tell, mum is fine. Uh, Janet is okay. We discussed it over dinner, and we agreed that my aunt simply is no longer welcome during office hours. Since the since it's the only way to stop this behaviour, either she can pick up my mum to go to a coffee shop and talk, come over after office hours, or come over on the one day I work in an office. Brilliant. That is really well. From our main character. Yeah, that is just three great solutions to one easy avoidable problem.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

Ripping them off one at a time. Solution one, go, solution two, go, solution three, lock her out.

SPEAKER_03 8:58

Yes. All of them, fantastic. My aunt seems annoyed about it, calling their brother, my uncle, to complain as well. But he texted me earlier saying he told her how wrong she was. And apparently her husband had also told her she was wrong. She's currently stomping her feet at home because everyone's saying she's wrong. Delightful woman she is. Remind me to one day post a story about her Disneyland trip.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

Oh my god. I'm seeing it now. There is an update to the update on the Disneyland trip. Let's let's hold on for that, though, because let's discuss the update that we've seen so far. I love it. I I as as her defendant, as Janet's defendant, I'm I'm rifling through my notes. No, this is just Bessie. No, I know, but what I'm saying is that I and my tie and Janet's defendant right now in our muddied courtroom law, and I'm strolling through notes.

SPEAKER_03 9:48

Yeah, go on. Janet's the mum. Yes, Bessie, Bessie is the aunt. Bessie's the aunt, Janet's the mum, and Bob's the uncle. Very good. But if he had wheels, he'd be a bike. He'd be a bike. Okay, so then OP, Bob, Bessie, and Janet. Okay. Who are you defending and who am I?

SPEAKER_02 10:07

So I I mean, at this point, I think it's more humorous of me to be defending Bessie. Yes. Which is why I'm comedically rifling through my notes, sweating.

SPEAKER_03 10:17

Um I'm waiting.

SPEAKER_02 10:19

I should tackle watch I have. That's true. Um, Your Honor.

SPEAKER_03 10:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 10:25

What do you want? You look good today. You look great. What do you want? No, no, Your Honour, you do look good. And I can see you've been working out. You've lost a lot of weight. You're very happy. Two eyed. There's all there's loads of good stuff about you. Very good, very good. Um, okay. Dear old Bessie is uh a beloved guest here in the home, and she should have free reign. She should have been. I disagree. She should have free reign to anywhere in the house, Your Honor. Stop touching your tie. Sorry, Your Honor. I'm this is my nervous tie. Uh sorry, my confidence tie. It's when I touch it when I'm very confident my client is in the right. Bessie should be acquitted.

SPEAKER_03 11:10

That will be for the jury to decide. So everybody in the comments, pop in. I'd love someone to make it like. Is anybody defending Big Bessie? Because we've also got the cliff notes to the Disney story, which I'm gonna say, yeah, it's longer than the rest of the entire story that we've already read. So we've got the background here on Bess. Okay, so yeah, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02 11:33

Your Honour, Your Honour. Uh, I, as Bessie's um defendant, lawyer, if you will. Lawyer, she's the defendant. But the old courtroom. The one who does the law and that, I would like to call up a character witness. Mickey Mouse. A shock character witness, yes. It is Mickey Raw. Mickey Raw, Mickey Raw!

SPEAKER_03 11:58

I do know how ready I work to do a Mickey Mouse impression. And then fucking Mickey Rourke, who I only know as the guy who cuts the F1 car in half in the Iron Man 2?

SPEAKER_02 12:11

Yeah, I think that's Iron Man 2. Mickey Raw. Straight from or is Mickey Raw the one who uh for sure. He's Hellboy, is he? He's not Hellboy, is he? Mickey Raw?

SPEAKER_03 12:22

No, that's um. Oh my god, no googling. No googling in the courtroom.

SPEAKER_02 12:27

He's also in a show called The Capture on BBC 2, which is fantastic. Ron Perlman! Ah, you're right, that is Ronnie P.

SPEAKER_03 12:34

Capture. That was like uh 2021? 2021 hour TV show, yeah. It was all right. I remember being indoors and watching it. Which for most TV shows I am.

SPEAKER_02 12:45

Oh yeah. Oh Titanic, that's the one that we saw in that room with all the people in there, wasn't it? With the speakers coming out.

SPEAKER_03 12:51

I remember being indoors. Must have been COVID.

SPEAKER_02 12:54

So I I would like to bring in Bessie's number one character witness, which is Mickey. I'm trying to think of another Mickey.

SPEAKER_03 13:02

O'Flanagan, the comedian. Mickey O'Flanagan.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

With the hair, with the hair. Let's go with the mouse. And I want one line of Mickey Mouse before the joke runs out, and then you go to your normal voice. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 13:15

Update to the update. This is the cliff notes version of the Disneyland story. So this is Aunt Bessie, who has been barging in on uh OP this entire time in her home office.

SPEAKER_00 13:27

She has twin boys, and for their birthday, she booked a trip to take them on one of their friends out to Disneyland. Ha ha.

SPEAKER_02 13:33

And then the joke's over, so you can see Union Worlds.

SPEAKER_03 13:35

The joke's over, so now we move on. Mickey Rourke. Hey, Mickey Rourkey. The friend ended up cancelling last minute and told me if I paid the friend's share, I could go. Reasonable enough. I figured why not? I was 16 at the time this story. Oh, I was 16 at the time, comma. This story is like 20 years old. I'm European, so this is Disneyland Paris I'm talking about, and I'm not from France. So this is an international trip. This becomes important later. And my cousins are maybe 10-ish at this point. So she's filled in for a friend who couldn't go, and she's 16 years old, joining the ARN, and her cousins who are 10 years old. Makes sense. Makes perfect sense after. I've got some ears from Disneyland. Shall I wear my Disney ears while I'm doing this?

SPEAKER_02 14:16

If it would make you happy, then yes.

SPEAKER_03 14:23

Look at them. Is that Lilo and Sorry? Stitch and Stitch and Angel.

SPEAKER_02 14:30

Angel. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 14:31

This is pushing my temples really.

SPEAKER_02 14:33

That looks really uncomfortable. I give it about two minutes before you have to take that off and go, oh, it's giving me a headache.

SPEAKER_03 14:37

Alright. Uh headache starting. Uh so anyway, we're in the parks and she has been a menace all trip already, but I'm dealing with it. It's the last day, about five hours before we have to take our train back home.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

Objection!

SPEAKER_02 14:50

Oh. How is she being a menace? Not said. Not said. Another curious lack of context, but carry on. Shut up.

SPEAKER_06 14:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 14:58

It's the last day about five hours before we have to take the train back home. International travelling train with customs, etc., like a plane would be, only less boarding time. Thanks for explaining the Eurosome. One of my cousins wants to go on the rock and roll roller coaster, and the other one doesn't. The line is like five minutes or less. That's really good at Disneyland. I can confirm this. If we saw a line that was like half an hour or less, we were in. Great. Brilliant. Love that. Um so my aunt tells me to go with him and she'll wait at the exit with our bags. So I leave my bag containing my phone, my ID, my money, everything in her care. Very reasonable for a 16-year-old to do to give her bag to her aunt to look after it. All good so far. Ten minutes later, me and my cousin get out of the ride and she is gone. Oh. So I start looking around, can't find her. After half an hour of waiting, maybe they went to the bathroom or something, still nothing. Okay. We go check the bathrooms, neighbouring rides, the works, no aunt. I have no phone on me to call her, and with us having to leave for the train in four hours, I get nervous. I'm a sixteen-year-old with a ten-year-old at my hand, and no money, no ID, no phone, nothing.

SPEAKER_02 16:06

Sounds like an origin story. Sounds like an origin story of a great business. I mean, I arrived in Paris with a ten-year-old to my side. No money, no ID, no nothing, and I made a billion dollar empire.

SPEAKER_03 16:18

That's your dream, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 16:19

A little bit, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:20

So I decide to go to the lost kids department. It's a funny way of phrasing it. Uh to the lost kids. And explain my situation. They end up calling her through the Parks Intercom. Another hour goes by. No aunt. Thing is, as an adult ma'am, if I did this and say, you know, I went there with my wonderful fiance, and she then wasn't around after an hour and a half at this point, and I've not got a phone or anything, I'm also panicking. Like, less if I was a kid.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

If you've got to go home in like three hours as well. Yeah. It's like, do I go home without her? Or is she planning to meet me at the station? And there must be some plan.

SPEAKER_03 16:55

Like, you can even get there. There's a train station by Disney that just takes you to a big one. Yeah, do you do she doesn't have the ticket or anything? And no money, can't buy one. Um I remember my dad's phone number back home, so I use Disney's landline to call him. He tries calling her cell phone, my cell phone, no response from either. At this point, I have like an hour or less before the train leaves, and I'm in hysterics because I can't afford this train without money or ID, let alone with a m with a with a minor. Which is also, this kid's mum has just disappeared for like two hours. Yes. My cousin, at this point, seeing my panic, is crying his eyes out. So I'm also dealing with a scared child, and I'm barely an adult myself. You're not an adult.

unknown 17:41

Ooh, I'm gonna have a cry.

SPEAKER_03 17:43

Sustained. Yeah, that's fair, that's fair. Oh, I'm just gone. I'm leaning towards Bessie. My dad eventually tells me it makes no sense for him to drive out to Paris right now. Valid. To go back to our go back to our hotel. He'll pay for another night and he'll come pick us up in the morning. I take my cousin back to the hotel, explain the situation, the receptionist hears me, say my name, and says, quote, Oh sweetheart, I have a note for you. What? It's a note from my aunt. What? Gone to dinner, see you on the train. Oh my god. What? That is a twist.

SPEAKER_06 18:22

Bessie!

SPEAKER_02 18:24

Bessie, what did you expect would happen, Bessie? What? I'm gonna have to hang up my law practice. I need to stop taking these clients on.

SPEAKER_03 18:33

You have to hang the tie up. I'm glad well hang something with the tie. That's insane to do. That's crazy. With no communication, you leave a 16-year-old and your child in Disneyland. Gone to dinner, see you on the train. Could she could and also she was in and out of the ride in 10-15 minutes? Could she not have waited for dinner?

SPEAKER_04 19:00

Also Where on the train? Like a set scene. It's a long train as well.

SPEAKER_03 19:12

Before the gate, after the gate, at the entrance. But we're also adding some logic to this.

SPEAKER_02 19:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 19:18

Do you know I mean we're saying, oh, was it before or after the gate? That doesn't matter. She's done she's done this anyway. It's we're in too deep at this point. It doesn't matter what that note says. That is outrageous. And why wasn't she answering her phone from dad?

SPEAKER_03 19:31

Yeah. Like you you couldn't do this to an adult, let alone to two children. That's how a mental.

SPEAKER_02 19:39

There's still more. How are stitch and stotch feeling on your on your temples, by the way?

SPEAKER_03 19:43

They not great. They're supposed to be coming off immediately. Okay. They're not happy. You can see how upset they are.

SPEAKER_02 19:49

Still kissing though, still loving life. Okay, alright, finally.

SPEAKER_03 19:51

Which is good. At this point, I have half an hour to run to the station. Open we'll still get through customs where she's supposed to be waiting. I make it with 15 minutes to spare. I'm out of breath and fuming. We end up making it through customs, god only know how, and manage to get on the train literally as the doors close on us. I call my dad, explain the update, and he is also fuming at this point. To which my aunt turns to me and says Prepare yourself. I don't know why you're so mad. I left note at the hotel and I brought you something to eat and hands me a dinner roll.

SPEAKER_02 20:29

So it gives her a bread roll after four and a half hours. And no at no point did she think to check, and she didn't answer her dad.

SPEAKER_05 20:38

That's what I don't get. What happened to her phone? What happened to Bessie's phone?

SPEAKER_03 20:44

I took my stuff, went to the dining car with my cousin, who she also almost abandoned, and gave him the biggest slice of chocolate cake my budget could buy, and never came back to our seats to talk to her. So then she then has to then buy her cousin food, because her aunt has still not bought them anything. Apart from well, she got she got this uh objection.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

She very thoughtfully got them a dinner roll. What's a dinner roll? Like a roll. Sustained.

SPEAKER_03 21:09

Yeah, I think literally like you know the free bread that you get?

SPEAKER_02 21:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:12

Where like you cut it in half, then put it on the side.

SPEAKER_02 21:14

Oh, I see with a bit of butter on it.

SPEAKER_03 21:15

A little hard one. Doesn't mention butter.

SPEAKER_02 21:19

Spreads are not that into butter, are they? They're sort of cheese and bread.

SPEAKER_03 21:22

Sociopathic.

SPEAKER_02 21:23

Yeah, it is. I uh so then the poor this poor op is like, I might be in the wrong here. So then what's but what just go back to the beginning. What's Bessie knocking on the door to say when she's working?

SPEAKER_03 21:35

She says just like chit-chat. So it is like talking about her neighbours, her sisters, um, her sister's kid who did something blah blah blah. Oh yeah, that's it. General shit that you would talk about like uh uh like a coffee or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 21:50

Okay. Um I'm I'm uh I'm ready to make my closing statement. Yes, go ahead. Uh please don't send it to prison. I need this. I need Money.

SPEAKER_00 22:02

She's going down for life, Bucko.

SPEAKER_02 22:04

Yeah, I think that's fair. I think that's fair. I think Bessie should be hanged. It's the only explanation.

SPEAKER_03 22:11

That's fucked. Okay, so uh I'm gonna I'm gonna pre-jump what the jury, the comments think. Guilty.

SPEAKER_02 22:21

I think that's gotta be of everything as charged. That's insane. I can't believe this woman exists. I can't believe she's so terrible. She's so cartoonishly terrible and thoughtless.

SPEAKER_05 22:30

But she doesn't seem self-aware. That's the bit that doesn't get me. Bessie doesn't seem to realise. The fact that she's knocking on the door, oh hey, thought you'd like a chat.

SPEAKER_03 22:36

Yeah, I I wouldn't forgive this aunt. I'd be like, no, you're a prig. You know you're a prig. Obviously, you're a prick.

SPEAKER_05 22:42

But she doesn't seem to know she's a prick, impressively. It's almost quite impressive that she doesn't realise this.

SPEAKER_03 22:47

But then everybody in her life, her husband, her brother, is saying to Bessie, like, so you know you're a dickhead. You know that you've been a piece of shit and you're you have no uh uh like positive attributes in this situation, and then she's going, no. She's entitled, she's completely entitled, she's entitled to this person's time.

SPEAKER_02 23:08

It's a very impressive lack of self-awareness there from Bessie. Uh but she's she's she's broken my lawyer company. I think we need to stop accepting these clients.

SPEAKER_03 23:19

Okay, well, uh I can Okay, well, guilty is charged. Yep. Uh, everybody here, before we get to the next one, is enjoying this. Cool, call episode number 34?

SPEAKER_02 23:28

Yeah, I think so. I think they're racking up now. 3-4, baby, the big 3-4. The big three-four.

SPEAKER_03 23:33

So what are they page?

SPEAKER_01 23:36

I beat you to it, I beat you to it, I beat you to it.

SPEAKER_03 23:38

Make sure that you drop comments in. Being the jury for this episode and also giving it a follow, giving it a like, giving it a subscribe on all of your various platforms. I'm gonna need to take this off, stitch it and fling it.

SPEAKER_02 23:48

Nice, fling it away, never to be seen again. Good fling, good fling. Uh, next up is from Am I the Asshole? Uh and it is Oh, drop my hammer. Okay, you don't want to lose that, you can't lose that. Let me just do a bit of this, do a bit of this. Am I the asshole for making an insensitive joke? The incident this story stems from happened between me, 19, and two friends. We'll call them Mary, 20, and Marshall, 18. For added context, I'm gay. And so's the person that's talking. Yeah, just dumpy. For out of context, I'm gay, and on the larger side, Marshall is gay and mixed, and Mary is part Jewish. So they walk into a bar, and then the bar looks like.

SPEAKER_03 24:33

Is that mixed is in mixed race or is it? I believe so.

SPEAKER_02 24:36

No, I I think it's mixed race.

SPEAKER_03 24:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

As most young people do, we make stupid jokes towards each other about those things, and it's mutually acceptable. No one ever takes them seriously because we are all very close and understand there's no real meaning behind it. I'm still very close of Marshall to this day. Uh sorry, I lost my place. I'm still very close of Marshall to this day, and love them to death. Them. So that's another one. Oh, damn.

SPEAKER_03 25:00

Okay, so hang on. Marshall is part gay, mixed race, mid-fat, and a they.

SPEAKER_02 25:09

So there's there's a lot of ammo. There's a lot of ammo for Marshall. If you want to make some jokes.

SPEAKER_03 25:14

Somebody who possesses a gay friend, very easy to just fire gay bullets at them, because it's really funny. And to then have them returned in in jest. It's good. If somebody has got a protective characteristic, they are the person who normally jokes about it the most. That's because they're allowed to. And that's fine and funny.

SPEAKER_02 25:34

And then you're not allowed to, unfortunately. Uh okay. Although, but the op is, because op is gay.

SPEAKER_03 25:41

Oh, lovely. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 25:42

So there's all sorts of context going on here. Okay. Uh I'm still very close at Marshall to this day and love them to death. Mary, though, was arguab was arguably my closest friend. She was someone I take a bullet for and trusted with my life. We never needed a reason to hang out, okay? We told each other anything without judgment, I judge everything you say. Besides the classic friend judgment, of course, whatever that means. And I thought she felt the same way about me.

SPEAKER_05 26:06

I was convinced we were for life.

SPEAKER_02 26:08

One day, in January or February of 2025, I'm not sure which. Doesn't fucking matter. It doesn't matter either. It's just last year, whatever. Winter. But there was exactly and there was a snow day. The three of us were hanging out and decided to go play in the snow like children. While we were outside, Marshall drew a shape in the snow that's very offensive towards Jewish people. Oh gosh. Foreskin.

SPEAKER_03 26:33

That's that Marshall, big statement. That's a big one. I, as somebody who loves to do a bit of offensive comedy, wouldn't.

SPEAKER_02 26:44

You wouldn't, you wouldn't swaz.

SPEAKER_03 26:46

No, I wouldn't, I wouldn't drop a swazzy. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 26:48

You wouldn't drop the swazzy.

SPEAKER_03 26:50

I wouldn't drop a swazzy.

SPEAKER_02 26:51

Okay, well, Marshall's gone ahead and done it, it would seem. I'm sure I don't have to tell you which one. Marshall and Mary are both giggling at it as Marshall makes more, and I join in because everyone is obviously joking and having a good time.

SPEAKER_03 27:04

This is interesting, because I didn't think I'd disagree with the offensive joke. But don't love this. At least it's not permanent. And also, if it's just those three there, it's a bit odd, but you can then sort of like stamp it out or whatever, and you kind of move on.

SPEAKER_02 27:21

But it's weird. It's weird they all one-up to each other with more. That's how murder cults happen.

SPEAKER_03 27:28

So then I made photorealistic phone out of Hitler.

SPEAKER_02 27:32

Mary is worried her father will see them and get really upset and wipes them away, which we would have done anyway. Because again, there is no meaning behind it. Okay, up. Alright, fair enough. Okay. I've spent my life being judged for things I can't control. Why on earth would I do the same to someone else? Anyway, the hangout continues for however long, and then we go home. Everything was normal. Less than a month goes by.

SPEAKER_03 28:00

Swazzies. That's so many swazes.

SPEAKER_02 28:05

Less than a month goes by, and Mary brings it up to me and Marshall separately and says she thought it was too far and asked us not to do anything like that again. I started to defend myself, but she was entirely right, and I apologised and agreed. Marshall didn't really apologize or agree to stop the jokes, but she said, I can't control him, he's him now. I can't control him, so it's fine. I also want to note that she never stopped calling me fatty or making gay jokes.

SPEAKER_03 28:30

Right, it feels that's not even clever. Like Fatty. It's not even clever. Well, like, if you're gonna be making like a vintage joke, they have to be at least a bit clever. Otherwise you're just saying the thing.

SPEAKER_02 28:45

Yeah, it's it's like if if if you pass Seaworld and there's a whale and it goes oh, that's you, that's a joke. Yeah, exactly. Fatty.

SPEAKER_03 28:53

Yeah, fatty fatty bumbati. Like a joke. Like, that's just okay.

SPEAKER_02 29:00

However, however, time goes on and we keep hanging out. Marshall continues to make insensitive jokes every once in a while. Mary doesn't say anything or even seem to mind.

SPEAKER_05 29:09

Towards the end of the year, we stop hanging out as much because we're all busy, and Mary lives a few hours away for college. I think nothing of it. Later that year in December, she blocks me on everything.

SPEAKER_03 29:20

Oh dear.

SPEAKER_05 29:22

I also find out that my boyfriend knew she was going to block me and didn't tell me.

SPEAKER_03 29:26

Why did the boyfriend know?

SPEAKER_05 29:28

We argued about that and he complained to her, which led to her sending me a mean paragraph saying I never cared about her feelings and implying I meant the jokes. She also never blocked Marshall and claims he stopped the jokes. I was fine for a while, but recently it's really been messing with me.

SPEAKER_02 29:42

She's been in my dreams, and I've been unable to trust that anyone in my life actually wants me around. Most of all, I just want my best friend back.

SPEAKER_03 29:51

Well that for that that's a bit of an overreaction, uh, I can't trust that anyone wants it. Fucking get over it. It's fine. Like, it's gonna hurt a bit, but like you can't then jump to nobody likes me. Like, come on now. Come on. Yeah. Get that self-deprecating shit out of here.

SPEAKER_02 30:06

And that's the whole story. That is it. There's no extra con there's no like update. Um, we were in art class and we were making a statement. Nothing like that.

SPEAKER_03 30:14

There's there's no extra context. They were just in art class, Marshall got turned down to enter college for it, and he's really taken away from No, they were just they were just making swastikas in the snow.

SPEAKER_02 30:27

I don't know how if they were yellow swastikas. Never, never never eat yellow swaz. Um then they just stopped being friends after calling each other fatty.

SPEAKER_03 30:38

So, yeah, so firstly that so it seems like either OP has misread what Mary was laughing about. I imagine that what happened was they were but then no, but she then said Mary was making she was dropping some swazzies herself. So they're all they're all swazzing.

SPEAKER_02 30:59

They're all having a swaz, the three of them swazzed.

SPEAKER_03 31:02

I think it's weird.

SPEAKER_02 31:03

Yeah, very weird. It's a weird thing to do.

SPEAKER_03 31:05

Shouldn't be doing that. Especially if she's saying 2025 more than the current climate. Yes, exactly. It's a big thing right now.

SPEAKER_02 31:13

I'm I'm just skimming through the comments, and in a lot of them, the person, the op is saying, like, oh, because you never did anything you'd regret or stupid when you were 19. When I was 19, when I was any age, I wasn't swazzing. Swazzing is a big thing to do.

SPEAKER_03 31:27

I think back in like the like uh what what there's like a call of duty or a halo where you could make uh your badges and whatever. You didn't. And if I I didn't, but I'm saying that people made like swastika things like that. And every now and then I'd see it and be like, that's funny. I'd be like, whatever, that's funny. Because also this is in a time where we're a lot more sofly progressive and you're taking the piss out of those people by having like a swastika and a knob like on your Call of Duty like picture. That's funny. That's okay.

SPEAKER_02 31:57

The willy softens it, the willy definitely softens it.

SPEAKER_03 32:00

But then if it was just like red background, white circle, dropping swaz in the middle, I'm like, well, that's too that's just it. That's just the thing. There's no joke surrounding it. I feel like it's not inherently awful to make those jokes, but with the current climate, as it very much was in 2025 as well. Yes. Not the time. Not the time.

SPEAKER_02 32:23

I don't think there's any time for a swaz. I think swans are a swans. Swans, I hate swans too. You also hate swans. Yeah, I do. I think swazes are always just weird. That's that's weird to just chuck on a swaz sticker. That's odd. And then everyone to join in and do more. Do you know what I mean? It gives me sort of that vibe of like a psychotic communal breakdown.

SPEAKER_03 32:44

I wouldn't, but I can understand where the joke is if you're being self-deprecating, or rather, being you're deprecating at each other. But I feel like the joke's kind the joke is kind of done after one. True, you do it once, and you scrub it away, kick it all out, and then you then do a big knob or whatever. Knobs are funny.

SPEAKER_02 33:02

What that's that's that's what upsets me about this. Why not just do a knob? Yeah. Knobs are always funny. Someone can walk by and and laugh at a knob. Uh uh a Jewish person and a Nazi could both walk by, see the knob, and communally laugh. It would bring knobs bring people together of all creeds. They they sustained.

SPEAKER_03 33:23

I needed this sustained. Um I did it in a microphone with the hammer, so I'm sorry for that noise. Um so yeah, uh, I think OP they're all in the wrong for dropping swaz. Yes. I think we can agree there, Mary as well. Do you think maybe she went back home to her Jewish family and then felt immense guilt for it? Maybe. Oh my god, and then felt awful about herself, and so then it's had to be like, no, it was you guys, you guys did this. It wasn't me. I was just trying to fit in with your dark humour. Do you think that's it?

SPEAKER_02 33:57

I I don't know. Because also, all we have is the ops word that Mary was giggling. Like, maybe Mary wasn't.

SPEAKER_03 34:04

But Mary made them too. That's the thing.

SPEAKER_02 34:06

No, but what I mean is that when you're in a situation where everyone's doing something and you are the outlier, you may laugh along to something that you don't actually find funny.

SPEAKER_03 34:15

You might laugh along, but do you then also make the thing that's making you not comfortable? At that point, I'm again, I'm drawing a knob. Or like I'm doing an arrow and then like writing some shit about it, right? The whole thing's weird.

SPEAKER_02 34:32

This is this is a group of people I wouldn't want to hang out with. Not because they're getting-fucking Sostika drawing freaks, frankly.

SPEAKER_03 34:42

I think then the issue is that Mary then goes to university, goes to college, yeah, and gets infected by the woke mind virus. Oh, I see, is that what it is? She's then like, whoa! She's spinning on a chair. And then she's then feeling all of this guilt, and then thinks, I hate that memory. Weird to then be say to Marshall, yeah, you know what, mate, you're good. You're good.

SPEAKER_02 35:11

Especially apparently Marshall didn't really apologize or agreed to stop the jokes. And she said, Oh, I can't control Marshall. She seemed to say that, oh, it's just Marshall Marshalling about, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:24

She just doesn't like OP.

SPEAKER_02 35:26

It might literally be that. Should we have a look at some comments? Some comments. So this has got um zero up vote or down votes. It's on dead zero. So I can't go either way because I'd affect the equilibrium. And 59 comments. Um, none of y'all sound like good or considerate friends. Major everyone sucks here. Everyone sucks here real hard. Also, for God's sake, use paragraphs. It sucks real- that's why I got lost. It sucks through the wall of text. Uh I wasn't aware of the cabinet character limit, so I edited quickly. Minus 28 now on that response. Uh next comment. Info. What is funny to you about swastikas? It's a good question.

SPEAKER_03 36:01

Yeah, very fair. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:03

Um Procedure Quirky 8183 said, One, I wasn't the one that started it. Two, I made it clear I regret that decision. I forgot 19-year-olds never say or do anything they regret.

SPEAKER_03 36:15

This is also last year.

SPEAKER_02 36:17

So, like No, this is 14 hours ago. Oh, the comment was. The comment was 14 hours ago.

SPEAKER_03 36:22

No, no, no, no, so no, then the the Yeah, so I guess you can regret it, but then don't be like 19-year-olds do things like, yeah, but you are now 20. It's not that different. Like, over the course of five years, yes, very much so. But you can't be like, oh, I was a crazy 19-year-old. That's true. You're still mostly the same person, I'm sure. There'll be a little bit of difference, but like, that's still essentially present-day you behaviour. You can regret it, but don't put it down to age, because that's completely irrelevant.

SPEAKER_02 36:50

Yeah, so I think they're all just terrible people. Send them all, send them all away, send them all to prison.

SPEAKER_03 36:57

Sustained, all terrible, everyone sucks here. Jury in the comments, let us know. Uh, I have got one that the title, quite frankly, made me giggle. And I like Am I the asshole for sleeping naked in my own room?

SPEAKER_02 37:14

I'm gonna guess this is something like a joint room or boarding or something like that.

SPEAKER_03 37:20

Maybe, maybe. Firstly, uh, do you sleep naked? Are you a boxer's man? Do you wear the full PJs with the long white cap and the little light?

SPEAKER_02 37:28

I wish I had the long white cap and the little light. Um, normally boxers, sometimes big nake. You're you're a naked man, aren't you? I know this.

SPEAKER_03 37:35

All naked all day. Not all day, not now. I'm window open, all naked.

SPEAKER_02 37:41

Window open is nice. The reason we don't open our window is that there are stupid monk jacks opposite. And at night at 2 a.m. they go, ah and Jasper then barks, and it's 2 a.m. and I'm tired and it's chaos, so we have to stick the window shut and I hate it.

SPEAKER_03 37:55

That's fair. If you shoot them with a gun, I would. I might be asked of sleeping naked in my own room. Since I was a teenager, I've always slept naked. I always get too hot at night, and it's just generally way more comfortable for me to sleep that way. I agree. I'm I'm on the exact same path. Okay. Whenever I leave my room, I'm always dressed, or at the very least have shorts on or something if I'm going to slash from the shower. They don't say if they're male or female, by the way. My roommate knows this, and up to the point up to this point has had no problem with it, and we always knock on each other's doors anyway to be polite. Valid. Makes sense. The issue started when he brought over his girlfriend to stay a couple of nights. We all get along pretty well and have all hung out a few times before. But this was the first time she had come over and spent the night. Okay. We'd all gone out drinking and got home pretty late. So once we walked in, we all went straight to sleep. I, of course, went to bed with my usual routine of getting naked and hopping in bed.

SPEAKER_02 38:46

Whoa, that is a that is a pampered pooch right there. That is that is Metro's sexuality at its finest.

SPEAKER_03 38:55

Uh well, sometime during the night, my roommate's girlfriend needed to use the bathroom, but she didn't know which room it was.

unknown 39:02

What?

SPEAKER_03 39:02

So she's been over many times and has never gone to the bathroom.

SPEAKER_02 39:07

I reckon she accidentally walked in the wrong door, tripped, fed Oh, and landed on it.

SPEAKER_03 39:13

And landed on him and it. Maybe, maybe. Uh, and she didn't know which room it was. My room and the bathroom are right next to each other, and she opened my door by mistake. Okay. I have a vague memory of her opening my door but was half asleep, and when she closed it, I went right back to sleep. The next morning I woke up, and my roommate and his girlfriend were upset with me. Because when she walked in, she saw everything, and she was mad I would sleep naked when a guest was over in the first place. What? They both said I need to start wearing clothes to sleep, since my roommate's girlfriend is probably gonna be sleeping over more often, and it makes her uncomfortable. My argument was that I'm in my own private space away from them, and that while I understand it was a mistake, it's still her fault that she walked in on me sleeping. So yeah, right. So that's correct.

SPEAKER_02 40:00

Question one, is there not a lock on this door? Do you not put a lock on your bedroom door in a shared home?

SPEAKER_03 40:07

At Union we had locks. We had like you know the you know the internal front door lock where you turn the turning room. We had that on our room. Yeah, yeah. So first off, just do that. If you have that, yeah, you might not.

SPEAKER_06 40:19

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 40:20

Um also obviously her fault. Like we walked into your room when it wasn't the correct room to walk into, and somehow she forgot which room the bathroom was.

SPEAKER_02 40:34

Yeah, I again I'm I mean I'm I'm I thought this was going the tripped and fell route, which would have been fun.

SPEAKER_03 40:41

Would have been awful.

SPEAKER_02 40:43

In the words of um, well, I guess so. In the words of um Eminem, uh what if there's an explanation for this shit? What? She tripped, fell, ladder on his dick. That's from uh guilty conscience of Dr. Dre, who beat up a woman in the 80s, which is fun. Oh.

SPEAKER_03 40:57

Uh I the arsehole beat other woman in the eighties from Dr. Dre. Uh it's been a few days, and my roommate still won't let it go. So this could easily, by the way, have just been like, oh my god, I'm so sorry I walked in on you. That's my bad. And then he goes, It's alright, no, you're good. Like, you've not been to the bathroom room before. So I'm obviously a little bit silly. Oh, not do you like what you saw? But did you?

SPEAKER_02 41:21

But did you? I still sleep naked. Good. Yeah, I might start doing it just to, you know.

SPEAKER_03 41:28

Sustained.

SPEAKER_02 41:29

Yeah, sustain that.

SPEAKER_03 41:30

Oh, I hit my hand with the hammer. Oh. Um, uh, I still sleep naked, and now once on purpose, he's walked in on me sleeping to see if I was naked or not. Oh god, move house.

SPEAKER_02 41:41

That's weird. That's next level. That's again.

SPEAKER_05 41:43

Why do all of these end up turning into like, into like, you know, self-murder cults? That's where this is going.

SPEAKER_02 41:51

Do you know what I mean? Suddenly the charismatic leader is saying, making sure you're wearing your your follow-up Jesus clothing, you know?

SPEAKER_03 41:58

You're wearing your garments. That's what Mormons have to wear. They have to wear garments, which is like like long underwear down to the ankles and like a white top. And they have to wear that for them to then remain pure and a little lantern.

SPEAKER_02 42:09

So they're never nudes, basically.

SPEAKER_03 42:11

Yeah, basically. Um, I don't really care about him seeing me naked because we've seen each other naked before, but this is getting really out of hand. I don't think I should have to wear clothes to sleep just because it makes his girlfriend uncomfortable, even though I'm in my own private room.

SPEAKER_02 42:26

I'd I'd be not wanting that woman to come round my home ever again if that happened. If she was like, you can do I I will police what you can do in your room in any capacity, as long as it's not making noise that's keeping other people up or whatever on your own.

SPEAKER_03 42:41

Obviously, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:41

Yeah, then I'm saying I don't want you in my house. Like that's move house level.

SPEAKER_03 42:47

I just say, look, this is what's happening at roommate. This is what's happening. Let's be let's just have like a bro to bro real quick. I'm not changing my behaviour. I don't feel like I need to. Yeah. Don't dick check me in the night, and we're all good. I still like you. I still I don't love your girlfriend, but she's a person, so I'll be honest. Wait, what's that about loving my love?

SPEAKER_02 43:11

Right. That changes things a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 43:12

I laid I put a sign on my daughter's bar, please. Yeah, true. Piss in here. Piss in here. He's sleeping with his mouth open.

SPEAKER_02 43:23

Oh no, sorry, you're a bit sleepy, love. I'm the toilet. Just do your thing. I've got a mug brush if you want. It's frilly.

SPEAKER_03 43:39

Oh my god. Okay. Um edit. Everyone's saying I should uh lock my door or out of lock. I'd really like to, but unfortunately, we can't do that.

SPEAKER_01 43:49

Why?

SPEAKER_03 43:50

Update. I guess it would stop their uh what's it called? Uh like deposit or whatever. I just put something in front of the door. Yeah. Like a I think it's like a Pillow or whatever, or like something heavy, like some clothes. So then when she then goes to open it, it's pervert.

SPEAKER_02 44:05

Also, she's made this mistake once. Fair enough. I've told a story before. I told it on the um CJ podcast, episode 10, I believe, of when I accidentally walked out of a hotel. Think I was in a hotel in just my boxes. I thought I was walking into the bathroom in Bristol. I was actually walking into the hotel corridor and it locked behind me. That's a crazy mistake.

SPEAKER_03 44:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:26

So I can relate to the walking into the wrong door, half groggy, half asleep. However, do it once, shame on the door. Do it twice. Shame on you. Do it what do it twice, and you're starting to think it's it's it's the user's fault. It's her fault. Do you know what I mean? She's doing it on purpose a little bit for a little cheaper. This is an end-user error, right? Yes, exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 44:45

We have an update. So, update the story, uh sleeping naked in his own room.

SPEAKER_05 44:50

Is he the bad guy?

SPEAKER_03 44:52

Um didn't expect this to blow up, blah blah blah. Always. A lot of you recommended a door stopper because they're super cheap and easy to use. Um that's what I've ended up doing. So thank you all to recommend who rec oh thank you to everyone who recommended them to me. They they said, and that's what I've ended up going with, so thank you all who recommended them to me. Okay. Uh okay. So I've had a talk with my roommate and brought up some of the points you made. For starters, I brought up how hypocritical it is to ask me to not sleep naked, since they are most definitely naked when they're having sex in the same home as me. Oh, Your Honor. And he said that was different since they're not sleeping that way, and usually hangs something on the door handle. So you're telling me that you bump uglies and then you nip the loo or whatever, have a little weed to stop a UTI, and then you're going back into bed and whacking boxes on.

SPEAKER_02 45:42

And also, do they do that if they live in the house? Do they put something on the doorknob every time? Because I don't think that really happens. That's such an American, like, um, what, you know, in sorority thing, like, oh, there's a sock on the doorknob, wink. But it's like, you wouldn't do that in your own room. You wouldn't you wouldn't be in bed. It's you're falling asleep, and then you know, one thing leads to another, it's about to happen and you go, Oh, wait a minute, I just need to inform Jason.

unknown 46:06

Jason!

SPEAKER_02 46:07

Don't come into my room!

SPEAKER_03 46:09

I'm naked, don't come in! No, Jason, I'm naked, don't come in! No, I'm naked, I'm coming!

unknown 46:16

Don't come in.

SPEAKER_03 46:17

Same time. Three doesn't happen. Doesn't ever happen. I also brought up the point that now she knows which door leads to the bathroom, so it shouldn't happen again. Yes, exactly. Yep. And he said it still makes her uncomfortable. Your girlfriend's a psycho. She is su she is psychopathic. She is odd and weird and maybe Mormon. Uh, I guess she thinks I'm gonna come out of my room at night swinging my dick around. I suggested that he only spends the night at her place, it makes her sound uncomfortable. Another good solution. Yep, yep, that makes sense. You'll never guess what her flatmates do though. Go on.

SPEAKER_02 46:56

When they shower.

SPEAKER_03 46:58

Yeah.

unknown 46:59

They're not.

SPEAKER_02 46:59

It's all it is all off. I'm telling you, not not even the the jorts. Not even the sleeveless jorts. No, when they shower, completely naked. It's awful.

SPEAKER_03 47:10

Uh, but he literally just said it was easier for them to sleep here instead. No idea how that could be if I make her so uncomfortable. So in the end, I basically said I'm still gonna sleep naked. I'm putting a door stop on my room to make sure it doesn't happen again. And if they're still not satisfied, they're gonna have to deal with it. Brilliant. What a good solution.

SPEAKER_02 47:27

That is honestly the end. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:29

That's fine. I don't really talk about him walking in, because again, I don't really care if I'm seen naked. I understand dropping that point. Because what do you say there? Don't do that. And then the roommate must then think Yeah. I know I mean that really.

SPEAKER_02 47:47

So wait, sorry, just I haven't imagined this. Roommate said, I'm gonna do dick check. That did happen. He didn't say that. He didn't say it. He's he did it. That's that that's alright, I'm out. That's really funny. Contacting someone, that's like an invasion of privacy at the very least.

SPEAKER_03 48:02

I'm talking to Esther Ransom.

SPEAKER_02 48:04

Who's that? Uh the woman who runs childline.

SPEAKER_03 48:07

Oh, okay, then yes, you you should be.

SPEAKER_02 48:08

I'd be there holding your hand if you want to run childlike if you're ready for hand holding. You know?

SPEAKER_03 48:13

I know that's kind of rare, but I'm super comfortable with my own skin, and it's really his fault if it doesn't want to see me naked and walks in on me sleeping. I'll continue to update um him as this goes on. Side note, the people saying his girlfriend wants me or something, I'm rocking an average 5.5 inches, so I'm not that impressive. Not only that, I think that's about twice as much as average. Not only that. I'm pretty sure I wasn't hard, and I'm a grower, so it was even less impressive. Thank you all for thinking I was cracking, though.

SPEAKER_02 48:40

No, that that yeah, okay. Yeah, the whole thing's weird. Whole thing's weird, everyone's a freak. Um but I'm glad that the op was like, obviously, I'm gonna do in my room what I'm gonna do in my room.

SPEAKER_03 48:49

Very normal reaction of like, I'm gonna buy a doorstop because it costs like 80 cents or whatever. But I'm obviously going to keep sleeping naked because that's how I sleep. Like, if I when like when uh my mum was over this weekend and we have like the door slightly open because we've got the dog and the cat and they'll go around the house and whatever. Um, and I will, for the purpose of that, I will wear boxes to go to sleep, because I'm then thinking if I need to get up in the night or whatever, just in case she's getting up in the night as well, that's just weird. So I'll wear boxes on. I find it more uncomfortable, but it's for like two nights or something, so it's not like a big deal. But that's for my own thing, right? I find that so weird if someone else is making that decision for you. Yes. Or like if I'm doing a sleepover at like a mate's house, I will sleep with boxes on, like in their spare room, because I find that just normal. I'm not gonna go full everything out in a mate's house. Because for me, I'm just like, no, I'm just gonna wear boxes and it's fine. It's like 10% less comfortable, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 49:43

But policing someone in their own home is insane.

SPEAKER_03 49:46

Mental. Absolutely insane. If someone wants to sleep upside down like a fucking bat in their own house, I don't care. That that doesn't affect me at all.

SPEAKER_02 49:54

Am I the asshole? I was sleeping upside down like a fucking bat, and my flatmate's girlfriend walked in and now she thinks I'm a bat. Should I stop?

unknown 50:01

No.

SPEAKER_03 50:03

Well, we can say that I mean guilty.

SPEAKER_02 50:07

Oh, as in the other parties. Exactly, that one. I hope that's clear.

SPEAKER_03 50:15

This box is getting battered.

SPEAKER_02 50:17

Yeah, oh my god, that's a one in a million, that's a one-off Charizard shiny box, isn't it? That's worth $25,000. Ah. One podcast at that. Exactly, exactly, exactly. Especially if everyone listening to this subscribes, posts comments, post likes. Just do us a fucking favour and hit fucking like. Or we'll look in on you naked. I will. I'll do it. We'll be naked as well. Uh I've got a quickie. And then I'd like to do a quick you be the judge as well. Because we've got we've got we've got time, we got time. So this one's super duper quick. Um I'm the asshole for asking my husband to stop sending peeing photos to his friends. My 28 female. My 28 female husband, 28 male, is sending photos of himself peeing to his friends. Throwaway account for anonymity. He has a group chat with his male friends, and I saw that he sent the photo of himself peeing to them. There was no genitals or anything like that in the photo. It's just the toilet bowl and the pee. I asked him why he does that. That's her wording. Why stop? I asked him why did he do that. And he said it was an ongoing joke, and he's been doing this for a while. He showed me that he sent lots of photos like this to this group chat from lots of different locations, bar toilets, etc. I asked him to stop doing that, but he says it's just a harmless joke. Does anyone else do this? Should I be weirded out?

SPEAKER_03 51:35

No.

SPEAKER_02 51:36

Boy's got a boy.

SPEAKER_03 51:38

That's funny. Boy's got a boy. That's a that's a consistent joke. Yep. It depends on the reaction of the group chat. If everyone's like, yeah, joke. If everyone's like, Dave, please. We're 45. Can you please stop sending pictures of your piss? Dave's like. No, dude, it's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 51:55

Dave, this is Slack. Okay, this is for work conversations. We're checking Claude's tokens in here. Uh, there's there's been a bit of a fire uh at the reception. And then there's Dave Belo!

SPEAKER_03 52:07

Check this out in a bar in downtown Louisiana. Look at this golden piss. Uh I funny. That's a funny thing to do, especially if it's a running joke. Yeah. I have, so there was uh there's a picture that immediately sprung to mind. There's two photos. One is one that we found very funny in our mate's uh uh uh flat. Uh it was in this tiny little flat in Leicester where we were having a house party, and our group chat photo for a while was uh the bathroom light didn't work, so you had to um put your phone torch on to go to the toilet. All our mates before we went on a night out went to do a poo and the door also didn't lock. And so someone went in there accidentally, opened it up, everyone laughed. It's like, oh my god, that's so funny that you're doing a poo for a night out. Um and then they also like near enough stripped off naked, and so then they took a this guy, took a selfie on his phone with the flash on of him and my mate doing a poo in the background, and then that what you couldn't see anything, but you could see him naked on the toilet, like covering everything. Um, and uh that was then the group chat photo for a little while. Nah, funny. That's good. Oh that's great, right? And then the other one, I remember I went uh to the toilet in a costa, I think it was near Kettering, chat with anybody in Kettering. Um, and next to the toilet, the entire wall was a mirror, right? So then I was trying, I need to try and find a picture and send it to you, which cannot go on this podcast, but I'll send it to you because it's funny. Okay. I like I'm sitting there and I'm doing a poo, and I just took like a picture sideways of like my bum and like my naked legs, and then I sent that picture in a group chat with my mates and just put like and had like a little thumbs up. And they all just like did like four laugh reacts, and I was like, that's funny.

SPEAKER_02 53:53

Mate, four laugh reacts is big. Laugh reacts in a group chat is is the best thing as well. Like, yeah, you know, we we can put stuff on Twitter for thousands of likes, and it's like cool. But if you put a if you put a witticism or a reference in the group WhatsApp and it gets like five thumbs up or laughs, oh my god, I have made it. Life is life is good again. So that that that that that euphor euphoria is definitely worth it. So I imagine that Dave gets at least two upvotes, two likes every time he does this.

SPEAKER_03 54:21

I think it's funny. I think that she doesn't get it, and that's okay. Yeah. I think she can say, don't do that. But ultimately, he's gonna if you want to. It's harmless. It's completely harmless. It's funny. I yeah, I I'm against her, I'm with him. What what do the comments say on what do you think?

SPEAKER_02 54:36

Uh so yeah, no, I'm I'm the same as you. I mean, boys are gonna be boys. I've heard I I've never been part of a rugby team, but I've heard all sorts of stories of drinking one's piss and going about and jizzing on a cupcake and just stuff, just boy stuff. That that is very much filed on the boy stuff that some of which I'm into, some of which I'm not that into. I'm more into the drinking side of boy stuff than the nakedness side of boy stuff, but it's still a thing, right? Um, yeah, everyone's saying YTA, you're the asshole, is it dumb? Maybe. Is it harmless? Definitely. Are you the fun police? Apparently. What a lie.

SPEAKER_03 55:09

Yeah, it it's completely harmless. It is harmless. Like, you might think it's weird, fine, but as long as his genitals aren't in it, then it's okay. Oh, yeah. Okay. Uh talking of genitals in a photo. We like, for some reason, um uh in this like small group chat, me and three of my uni mates, we were on a night out at uni, and uh someone went to the toilet and they took like they were standing up, was having well, they were having a Wii in a cubicle, yeah, and they took a picture and they had their thumb, like where their knob should be, and they like took a picture so it looked like it was their knob. Oh, that's it. So just like the very tip of it, yeah, and then sent that in the group chat. I then looked at it, laughed. You could clearly see it was a thumb. I then went and did the same. I took uh had a piss, picture, thumb in it. Yeah. Another mate didn't saw it, thought it was hilarious, didn't the same thing. Yep, yep, yep. The final mate did didn't recognize that they were all thumbs. So he then, in the group chat, it's like three pictures of thumbs, and then just his little knob, like soft as you like, but just the end of it, like a little one-tong in the group chat, and it's so fucking funny. Again, completely harmless.

SPEAKER_02 56:26

Oh, that's so funny. Did it did he did your mate realize? Did your mate realize at any point and go, oh shit, what have I done?

SPEAKER_03 56:31

I told him as soon as he came out, and we were like, you know that we sent a picture of our thumbs right, and he was mortified. It was very funny.

SPEAKER_02 56:39

And that picture is there forever. Well, if you guys have got any boyish stuff that you do that like your mates do is super weird, then do let us know in the comments. We've we've we've gone over. So we'll do you be the judge next week. That's something that everyone can subscribe to look forward to. And the uh I I like the headline for for the You Be the Judge, so it's a Guardian thing. It's not sponsored by the Guardian everyone, but it could be. Um, and I'll just give you a little teaser for next week for a headline. Uh you be the judge. Should my flatmate stop using my details to sign up for free trials? Ronnie is using Billy's name to register for free streaming services and gyms, which Billy objects to. You get to preside over this trial. So, yeah, that's one for next week.

SPEAKER_03 57:21

We'll op we'll open with that. That's very funny. If you do want to be listening to that one, make sure that you drop a uh subscriber, follow whatever it is to officially best podcast on the internet. Thank you for listening to episode number thirty four. I appreciate you. Have a good one, jury. And this episode is sustained.