Officially Unofficially
Two guys. A microphone. No tangent left unturned.
Officially Unofficially
Making Sweet Love to Cbat 😳 Officially Unofficially #35
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Don't tell YouTube but we're not ACTUALLY a Reddit podcast. It just gets more clicks because YouTube's algorithm is dumb and all powerful 🙃
As well as Reddit Chat of the Week™️ we discuss air cons, England smashing Ghana and YOUR comments from this week!
Rating 5* is MASSIVE - and post a comment as we read them all <3
Me and Cole were discussing right before this episode started. Have you heard of many classic Reddit stories? You said you hadn't heard of the Sea Bat story, which I do find crazy. Yeah, I'm so intrigued about this one. You've you've sent me a link, which looks very fruity. So I'm curious how we're gonna walk around such topics. This was posted. Well, this is it was posted one year ago, but it was posted to Museum of Reddit. So it was posted well before that. Okay. So anybody who knows the Sea Bat story knows where this goes, but uh trigger warning fruity nature. It is a bit there is S asterisk X involved in this one. So I'm gonna put that in all the titles. Okay. Okay, um the title is just uh Today I fricked up. We're still in the first 30 seconds. My 20 female girlfriend of two years told me the music that I, 25 male, problematic, older. Okay, uh, play during sex is weird and is a major turn off. So, uh a little backstory. When I first started having S uh S asterisk X. I researched into ways to be better as I was a little stiff. That's the first step. That's the f and pretty much had no idea what I was doing. I read online that you can play music and match the rhythm in order to put on a better performance. Okay, like Barry White, you know, that's the classic That's that's the goal. When I think of S asterisk X music, I think made of Marvin Gay as well.
SPEAKER_03Uh I searched love making songs and started slowly creating a playlist in which I was comfortable matching the rhythm. I don't know how you learn that you're comfortable matching the rhythm either without her.
SPEAKER_02Because shortly, you're just in your room, just like when one man or woman loves themselves very much, they're able to then do I just don't know how you would they're just standing there in their room like air humping. It might be, it might have been using a pillow sort of situation, like a dog. Maybe. You know? Or using a dog.
unknownOh no.
SPEAKER_04We're not ready for that. I did not say I did not say that. Uh there are a few songs in my playlist. However, there is one song in particular, which actually happens to be my favourite, that my girlfriend hates and says turns her off in a major way. Okay. I don't understand why it's taken her two years to tell me she hates that song. It's a good lovemaking song with good rhythm.
SPEAKER_03I feel the way I fucked up is I could have possibly asked her previously if she likes the playlist or if there's any song she'd like to add or change. Oh. But to leave it for two years thinking our sex life is great, but in uh but in her eyes has just been ruined by my music, has left the whole situation feeling awkward.
SPEAKER_04And I'm a bit annoyed. I'm gonna say I agree with that completely. If there's an issue, you're two years in, mention it. Exactly. If if every time things get fruity due to S asterisk X, and it's because you're putting the Tweenies theme tune on, just say, Look, look, Simon, I know you like the tweenies.
SPEAKER_02I like the tweenies too. Do you know what I mean? Tinky Winky. Tinky Winky is an excellent tweenie. Nunu, he's Twinkin' about.
SPEAKER_04Are you a uh Tinky Winky, a dipsy, uh la la or a Poe head? I always thought Poe was quite cute in a sort of like, oh, Poe's adorable sort of way. Um who was the one who had the fabulous handbag? That's Tinky Winky. That was the purple one, which I think is Tinky Winky. Yeah, I think Tinky Winky. Purple. Dipsy, la la la. Poo. Po. Poo. Okay. Uh I don't think it was the Tinky Winky theme song though.
SPEAKER_02No, I know it was whatever the C Bat.
SPEAKER_04I don't know what C Bat is, by the way. I don't know if I'm the only one listening to this right now that doesn't know what C Bat is. The fact that you've not heard this song makes this so much better. I'm imagining it's like a um Yan cat or some sort of novelty, like me, me, me, me sound thing. But I have no idea.
SPEAKER_03Uh I pretty much played this song every single time. So the amount of time she must not have been enjoying it when I thought the complete opposite is annoying but also embarrassing in ways. Not to mention my previous partners. However, they've never complained about the song.
SPEAKER_04So maybe it's just her? Okay, I didn't realise this person carried the song over between partners.
SPEAKER_01I'm assuming it's a guy who's made a new place male. Yeah, mate, okay, yeah, yeah. Yeah, if you say if you say, oh yeah, my ex used to love it when I made love to this song, I think that's enough to put me off to that song, no matter what it is.
SPEAKER_04You know? Uh however, they never complain about the songs, maybe it's just her. It's fucked up the relationship, to be honest, because sex feels awkward now. Sorry. S. apostrophix X. The other day we were having S. with no music, but I was still thrusting to the tune playing in my head.
SPEAKER_03She recognised this and asked me to stop. So he's still thrusting to the song. And he's in her head. There must have been a point where she then thinks, is he Is he about to go faster? Bom bom slow.
SPEAKER_04Oh, it is. Bo! Poe is points! He's pointed me! Um uh I thought this song was perfect. Oh, where's he off to? He hates it. He just has to be a big thing. He knows you're about to practice.
SPEAKER_01Jasper, not till the tweenies theme tune starts.
SPEAKER_03Come on, mate. Uh I thought this song was perfect, and I always thrust along with the tune, and I feel it gives me the perfect rhythm for doing the deed. Maybe a bit too much information. I usually bust to this song and find it devastating that she hates it. Would you like to hear the song?
SPEAKER_04Yes, I would. So this is the song that over many different partners, this person has uh completed two. Yes, he has reached completion. Are you ready?
SPEAKER_02I'm so ready. Okay, quite an epic start. Some of the video game song.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I can see it's like awakening. Hang on. So will he. Here it comes. Oh.
SPEAKER_06Uh-huh. Oh.
SPEAKER_03How this is not to this!
SPEAKER_01It's so like wormy. It makes me think of like a sea slug.
SPEAKER_04If you shut your eyes, this doesn't have to think of like a sea slug at the bottom of the ocean, just going about not knowing it exists. Slugging.
SPEAKER_00Slugging about. Oh. So he was going to.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Bear in mind, she recognized this song from his thrust. So he was there going boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
SPEAKER_04That's also a real pace at various points.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it definitely. I like the fact that it stops and it goes boom boom. Yeah. Oh my god. So man. And at multiple partners he'd do this with.
SPEAKER_03He was like, oh, she hates it.
SPEAKER_04I don't know how that made it on to the Bussernut Spotify playlist. How on earth did she not bring that up for two years? That's what I wonder.
SPEAKER_01Two years is such a long time to have that. Do you know what I mean? It's like, oh my god, thank you. Simon, it's been such a lovely the roses you got me, fabulous. You took me to my my favourite restaurant, this uh this nice place called uh Pizza Hut. Uh I just love it. It's so well made. Classic Italian pizza. Should we go home? Simon?
SPEAKER_04Darling, to the boudoir with you, but let me just put on my Spotify playlist. Oh my god. And as he's as he's undoing her bra from behind.
SPEAKER_01Louis Marvin Gay, Mary White, Pharrell. Is this awful, absolutely foul.
SPEAKER_04There is an update to this story that we will read you after we tell you welcome to officially, unofficially, the best podcast on the slug loving internet.
SPEAKER_03Can we have that as our new uh title song?
SPEAKER_01Let's run it with it, ready? Okay, welcome to officially the best podcast on the internet.
SPEAKER_04That was horrendous. We're never doing that again.
SPEAKER_06That's so much worse.
SPEAKER_04Sounds way better. Let us know in the comments which one you preferred. Uh right, I want to hear this update because this is mad. It's just I can't get over the fact that he's done this across multiple partners as well. I never had any feedback. Uh, the post title uh for the update Today I fucked up. Posting on Reddit about our sex life with CBAT, and now our relationship has ended. Oh no. Okay, this exploded more than I expected, and it's been a bit overwhelming with the messages, but I thought I'd give an update. Oh my. The attention hasn't exactly been positive. And this hasn't been the best thing to happen with my relationship, and now it's sadly ended.
SPEAKER_03Oh god. I didn't expect it to blow up so much. I should have used an anonymous name instead of my real name and our real ages. Uh there aren't many 25-year-old Ty-Us his full name. Full name! There aren't that many 25-year-old Tyler Lifes who are in a relationship with a significant other for two years who is 20.
SPEAKER_04Oh, Tyler Lifes. Unfortunately, her younger sister recognised this and showed her parents who weren't happy at all and made the situation extremely awkward.
SPEAKER_03What made it more awkward and cemented the fact that it was me is that they recognized the song. Once at a family dinner, we were discussing music taste, and my ex-girlfriend stated that I have an odd taste in music. Everyone laughed and pressed me to play something from my phone of what I like as music. To which I then blessed their ears with C Bat.
SPEAKER_04Okay, right. Well, aside, if I you like crap music, famously. You like the front bottoms. I don't. Yeah, Midwest Emo, the front bottoms, the flat Stanleys, the hot mulligan. Okay, it can't just be me then. Michael Sarah Palin.
SPEAKER_01I I quite like one song by Michael Sarah Palin, I think, to be fair. Thank you. The front bottoms, by the way, got us to the Spotify, the worst sound.
SPEAKER_05I use a PlayStation controller to control my iPad.
SPEAKER_04Listen to the Grand Finale or Montgomery Forever, and you will love the genre.
SPEAKER_05Montgomery, the chorus for anyway, anyway.
SPEAKER_04Montgomery Forever. Imagine if Imagine if, imagine if. The first time you meet lovely Anna's family.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Uh, and she's she's Scouse. How are you, Scouse? Scouse, alright.
SPEAKER_05And she goes, uh Hey, listen, everyone. Alex, I like him a lot. I like his brown hair and and height, but he's got shit music taste. You should listen to this terrible band that he likes.
SPEAKER_01And all her family gathered around the table, and then she presses play, and they're all looking at you laughing. That's genuinely horrible. That is a horrible thing to do.
SPEAKER_05I like PlayStation controllers.
SPEAKER_03Oh, I unironically fuck with it. If there was if Homebe Johnson did lyrics over this, holy shit.
SPEAKER_04It would be objectively horrible, but I would grind it. I would listen to that.
SPEAKER_02That's so far towards sort of like the extremes that I'd be, I'd respect that. That's horseshoe. But no, it's it's a horrible thing to do, right? The fact that this woman made them all laugh at her boyfriend's music. That's addictive, is all I'm saying.
SPEAKER_04Well then her father laughed and said it was terrible. I guess we all had different taste. I nodded in agreement at the time, although I was thinking in my head, this is a great fucking song. Respect. Did he mean a great fucking song? It's a good point. Or a great fucking song.
SPEAKER_02That's a very good point. That's a very good point.
SPEAKER_03We're over now, and I'm moving on. I already revealed my face on TikTok. Idiot. I never do that.
SPEAKER_04But with the amount of hate I originally got, I decided to say I didn't have it and backtracked.
SPEAKER_03It didn't have what?
SPEAKER_04Didn't have his face? Oh, I didn't have TikTok and backtracked. Okay. Oh, okay. I'm a center of that as well. I don't think the song is that bad. It's quite bad. Yeah, it's pretty much. It's wormy. It's worm music. It's like, you know, in Rick and Morty, uh, where Jerry is is Beth's the Beth's image of Jerry and Jerry's image of Beth. Do you know that one? I'm a little Jerry. It makes me think of that. That is truly what I think of when I hear it. There's like there's one that's like all like wet and like I don't even know how to describe it.
SPEAKER_03It's like it's like a TikTok song. And there's n I've I've Googled worm music TikTok trending sound.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04It's it's like it's like uh it's like my stinky brother, like that kind of thing. It's like like my my my my stinky brother and his friends have just come over.
SPEAKER_05Squelchy, generally squelchy dubstep, squelchy is unpleasant noises.
SPEAKER_04Smelly brother. He's gonna get me some weird stuff, man. This is gonna be in your search history forever. Here we go, is this it? Okay.
SPEAKER_01Oh I feel like I'm walking down the street, but it's in like the the grunge universe.
SPEAKER_04Where everything's going down the street like Yeah, Jimmy, I that's how I was talking, walking backwards, yeah, like uh legs moving comically far forward. Proper leaning back, yeah. Yeah, oh that's ugly. That's an ugly sound. Imagine playing that at a barbecue, and like someone goes, Oh, you're what kind of easy do you like to listen to? And you then rock up with everyone else is horrified.
SPEAKER_06You're still there going yeah.
SPEAKER_04Um I don't think the song is that bad. Now I had no idea she didn't like it until recently. And as soon as I did, I stopped. No, you didn't because you kept thrusting to CBAT. That's so funny. I didn't force her CBAT. Not all can handle C BAT. I know it's different. Uh my playlist I actually burned onto a CD and have been using my CD player. For the record, this was posted maybe like 10, 12 years ago. We had Spotify then. You don't need to burn a CD to listen to your favourite songs. Clearly, Tyler, what is it? Not Tyler Durden. Tyler Tyler Life Frisk. Tyler Life. Clearly, Tyler Life is a bit of a hipster.
SPEAKER_01You know, it's a bit I I bet Tyler Life has got a record player, uh, but he doesn't use it.
SPEAKER_04It's just there literally to collect dust, you know, and he's got he's got big alb he's got vinyls of fans that he feels he should have vinyls, and he has it in the lounge and he's like, oh, check out our record player.
SPEAKER_01But can I listen?
SPEAKER_02No, no, it's it's for show. Yeah, loser. I didn't actually know that was you. Is that really you?
SPEAKER_03That much of that is the I the vinyls are really nice.
SPEAKER_04But the record player just doesn't really work. So it's okay, okay. So it's an ornament. It worked, but it's like it they just it doesn't go to my sound system properly. So you can have to listen to like through the through the vinyl player speakers.
SPEAKER_01Genuinely, I think that having one as an ornament that doesn't work is better than having one that would work, but you're like, oh no, no, it's not for listening, it's for show. Like a guitar, a guitar that something you can't play on the wall.
SPEAKER_04That's fair. I wish ours did work, but it just doesn't because of grounding or something. Um but and it also it's under a table, so it's also not really on show. But otherwise, you're dead on.
SPEAKER_03The thing is, I'm not sure. I was in records.
SPEAKER_04I know, you knew nailed it though. I don't own vinyl of things that I think I should own. I own vinylslash albums that I do like, like Mumford and Sons and Noah and whatever else. I get that, because then that's part of the collection itself, even if you don't listen to the vinyl. Genuinely, I'm not just softening what I said because now I've accidentally insulted the person I'm talking about. Somewhat different, but it's also funny that you got it about 80%.
SPEAKER_02That's very funny. That's pretty funny. Right, finish this, finish this, then we can uh move on.
SPEAKER_04That was it. That was it. That was the sea bat story, and I'm so happy that you've never heard that song before.
SPEAKER_01I I just, you know, if if I were to ever S asterisk X of myself, I'm gonna try putting that with you. I'm gonna try putting that song on and and hear how it hear if it if it works.
SPEAKER_04Next time we S asterisk X each other, we should both thrust to that song and then see who can get it first.
SPEAKER_02Guess the song. We can guess the song. It's like that's a good YouTube video.
SPEAKER_04We put up like a sheet in between us, but you know what's happening. I know what's happening. I've I've I've seen similar videos. I had, I see by the way, that we're both in. Oh my god, my dog, I'm gonna kill him.
SPEAKER_01Jasper, stop ruining it! Shut up for 10 minutes, babe. Come here.
SPEAKER_04What's he doing?
SPEAKER_01I don't know.
SPEAKER_04I might have left a window open so he doesn't boil, and now he's like, oh, there's someone outside.
SPEAKER_01Jasper, that's it. But it makes it worse. That's okay.
SPEAKER_04If the old window's open. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, the warm.
SPEAKER_01No, it's the the airflow is is super important at the moment because in the UK we are all boiling. It's the classic thing. Have you seen that video of um people from outside? Oh my god. One sec, let me beat him. Let me actually show you.
SPEAKER_04Elastic band around the mouth. That was great timing from him. That was excellent timing. This is the this is the most he's recorded ruined a recording ever. Right, good boy. In your bed and relax. I know the windows are open and that's difficult.
SPEAKER_01Okay, uh yeah, have you seen because like we are going through mental heat waves at the moment in the UK. Yes. And they are tough. So it's a weird time for us of celebration, Ingerland, the World Cup. Wacka wacka.
SPEAKER_04You play tonight, Ghana! We do. We do play tonight as we record this. So hopefully, as you listen to this, you're thinking, wow, those guys were made happy last night.
SPEAKER_01Score prediction? Uh anyone against Ghana. I think like 3-0. I think we're gonna smack them.
SPEAKER_04I'm I'm thinking like five. Do you reckon? I think five. And how do you remember uh Ghana's flag? Uh because it's got a black star in the middle. Which sounds like Black Star, Ghana. There you go. Ghana told me that, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Is that like is Somalis like blue? They've got a blue star in the middle. It's like a white flag with like like a blue star. I can tell you that Denmark's is white and red. It's not too relevant.
SPEAKER_02Finland, bit of blue and white action going on. Uh if you're if you're curious. There you go.
SPEAKER_04White star with blue. I'm gonna go either backwards. I said blue star on white, but it's white and blue. Somali. Oh, cool.
unknownYeah, nice.
SPEAKER_04Uh but yeah, so we've got the uh the football tonight. Uh and do you reckon 5-0? I think five-nil, because they're also they've got a lot of rain at the moment in the US, and so therefore, uh, we're gonna be having, you know, that's that's home turf for us. That's true. Three English boys, which is quite nice. Um it is, as we say, we say heat wave, right? Today, mine says 27, which is hot, and in the UK, we're lucky. I say we're lucky enough, we're clever enough to have bought aircons. My brother has finally folded and bought an air con because for years he said to me, I dare to get one. It's hot for like a week of a year. And I'm like, Alright, alright, fine. If you don't want to get one, you're not gonna get one. And then he went on Phosphate Marketplace yesterday and bought one for like 200 quid, got it, put it immediately in his bedroom, put it to 16 degrees, and he said, Well, that was the best night's sleep I've ever had in my life. And I was like, it's just it's not a one-time use. You're gonna use this every year now for at least like two weeks or so.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I I think it's I saw a thing that said, like, using an aircon for about 10 hours is less than a trip in your car to like the local seaside. And we wouldn't bat an eyelid going to the local seaside. That's just considered completely fine. Whereas if I said to you, as a stranger, like, oh, by the way, he's my aircon for 10 hours today, uh, part of you would probably think, Oh, are you sure?
SPEAKER_04That's a bit more. No, I I don't care. You the man on the street though. You are you are the um Vox Pop. No, you're Vox Pop Barry. And I still think that Vox Pop Barry would still align with me and on every view because it's me, unfortunately. I struggle to align with this hypothetical when I feel so strongly about an aircon. Okay, imagine you're you but the opposite of you. Horseshoe theory. We're back round, baby. We're all they're back round. I'm a proponent of Aircon. And I have been strongly for I've had mine for like seven years now, something like that. It was pre-COVID I got mine. Because you went to my old flat in Ketrick. Big up Ketch. I got it that summer. That was like 2018, because it's the year that we went full time, so 2018. Woo!
unknownWoo!
SPEAKER_04Um, and yeah, it was eight years ago now. Uh, it was horrific in that flat. Um, and so uh I had to have an aircon there, and it was much, much nicer after that. I've been a big proponent. You buy it for like 300 quid for like a 10,000 BTU uh unit, 12,000 BTU. British thermal units. Is that right? I didn't think you'd know that. You've impressed me. Thank it. It's depending on like the room size, basically. Don't scale it. Um, it's to do with the like room size. So how much can it cool down? So like a lower uh or cool it down by an amount. I don't know much past that. So like if you've got like a a 6,000 BTU unit, it can cool down a smaller room to whatever temperature you want. You put it in a bigger room and it's too much air to run through and it can't get it down to the target temperature. If you want to get one for like a living room that's like 10 to 12,000 BTU basically.
SPEAKER_01Well, I've got this fat boy down here. It's it's it's G is its logo. God knows what brand that is. But there's a G on it. Gosh. So it's it's a gosh uh aircon unit. And the thing is, so I've got it off at the moment. I like turning off then on for a bit because it makes a sound as well. I'm always patterned with my microphone and stuff like that. So I'll turn it on for a bit, turn it off for a bit. And then probably because I've still got part of me, like like you as Vox Pop Barry, bit of judgment internally.
SPEAKER_04Oh, aircon, are you sure? Do you know what I mean? They they've still got that stigma a little bit. I think there's people are foolish. I think if you can't afford it, that's it. Objectively, I agree. Right. Yeah. I think if you can't afford it, fair enough. Sucks to suck. Game's the game. But if you can afford an aircon and you think, no, I don't need it, it's only 10 days a year. Okay, but then over the course of 10 years, that's a hundred days that you could just make better for like 300 quid. And if you're old, not die.
SPEAKER_01Because like old people do a lot wrong. They've ruined the world, they've bought all the houses, they refuse to move. They partly because of stamp duty. They they get in right wing, uh right wing parties, they're racist, uh, they're selfish, they're thoughtless, they don't understand the fact that they just smelly smelly, they do smelly.
SPEAKER_04And they can't even play sport anymore because they're smell like this. You need to you need to not have access to the soundboard. That's what your nan smells like. Well, she is dead.
SPEAKER_02She smells like that, but she smells like that played on your on your um player.
SPEAKER_01Uh uh, what was I saying? Yes, but my thing, I don't quite understand the way to use it because it's got um it's got up and down, it's got modes that are just like an ice cube or a water droplet or so the water droplet will be dehumidifying.
SPEAKER_04Okay. Uh what was the other one? Ice cube, that'll make us make cold, lol. Yeah. And then there's also like a snowflake. Which is very modern. Oh, a snowflake? And an ice cube. How the hell are they different?
SPEAKER_01Well, it's not really a snowflake, it's more of like a Oh so it's a snowflake, sorry. It's a snowflake, it's water droplets, and then it's a not quite snowflake, but a different fan symbol. It might, and that might be a fan.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it's probably fan. Because there'll be a there'll be fan, which then doesn't use the rear exhaust. There'll be the uh snowflake, which then uses the rear exhaust to pump all the heat out all the hat. And I've got the I've got the willy hose. And then there'll be the water droplet, which is dehumidify, because mine has all those same options, but cleverly mine says, cool, dehumidify and fan. That's helpful. That is so I mean I hate I hate UIs that assume you recognise what it is.
SPEAKER_01It's what I don't like Instagram. Instagram, it's got reels which are like a little film player, then it's got a grid which is a grid, and it's got like an arrow, it's like the It's got an arrow with a line in it, which is DMs. Just all everything about Instagram confuses me. The fact that it's all so icon-based. And if you use it a lot, it's like obviously I'll press that, but it should say. It should say like the GOAT Twitter.
SPEAKER_04The goat twitter. The goat twitter. Says look, say a lot about Elon, but he says what he means, alright? And I respect that about him. If he wants a DM, it says DM. It doesn't have like a picture of a. No, it doesn't anymore. Does it not? Has he changed it? It's got a little speech bubble and it's called chat. Oh, it says chat then. It says chat, which is still nonsense. Woke nonsense. It is woke nonsense. At least it says something. At least it says something.
SPEAKER_01Um but yeah, my my um aircon unit, it's also got the number on the side. And I I think that is because basically the question is if you press up, are you making it more powerful? Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Or are you making it warmer? Or are you making the temperature up? So again, mine's quite good with this. So you press up or down, and then it says the number on there, which is the target temperature for it. Nice. So you press down and it goes to 16 or whatever, then it tries to make it 16. It's one of my least favourite things again about UI, where I can't think of an example annoyingly, but like, does the icon mean it already is XYZ or you're setting it to XYZ? It's like a toggle where it says like uh turn off uh audio guidance. Yeah. And then you press it and then that's on to turn it off.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's if it's blinking, does that mean it's working, or does that mean it's muted? I need to find some examples. I'll come uh to this podcast next week with some examples of what I'm talking about, but it's one of my pet peeves.
SPEAKER_04I despise it. When I worked at a software company, I'd always flag that.
SPEAKER_01And then I was going, no, it does make sense. And I go, no, it doesn't, because are you turning it on to mean it's on, or are you tapping it to mean that it's not uh yeah, you know what I mean.
SPEAKER_04You know what I mean. I'm with you, I'm with you. Well what we can do, you can look on the back of your ERCON unit and you can then find the model number, search that PDF, and then you know. And then you've got the lines locked in. Yeah, but am I gonna do that? Let's be honest. Should Sure.
SPEAKER_01But are you are you actually someone who goog Yeah when there's something around your house and it's like, oh, I really must get around to XYZ, do you do it every straight away?
SPEAKER_04No, we currently don't have a loft hatch. Really?
SPEAKER_03And I haven't done for six months.
SPEAKER_01That's the heat. That's where the heat I think that keeps heating a house.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, so yeah, it's not great. So the issue is I like put a ladder up because we've not got the one with like, you know, where the goat, the goat loft hatch is one where you pull it down, the ladder's on it, and then it goes, ladder comes out, you then want to put the ladder away, put it up, fold it back up. That's the goat. What we've got is like a telescopic ladder on the landing that I bought. Okay. Um, and then just a normal like plastic loft hatchy thing with like insulation and whatever in it. Um, the issue is I put the ladder up into the loft, right? And then because there was like that much insulation on the loft hatch, it like pushed the the for the flap back too far, that then snapped the things that it was holding onto with and it fell. And it's literally a piece of plastic about yay big, literally half a centimetre, that is snapped off. That means I can't use the loft hatch. To replace it, it's about 40 quid in half an hour. But but I mean, I need to go to screw fix, I need to then it's also not a fun job.
SPEAKER_01And what if you get the wrong one?
SPEAKER_04Then it's 40 quid, it's like that could be sort of three pints, or that could be a loft hatch. What am I gonna rather have? Exactly, exactly. So at the moment we don't have a loft hatch, much to the shagrin of my of my fiance.
SPEAKER_01Well, I was gonna say, I'm sure that Anna is is there sweltering, you know, saying like, oh come on, Alex, please fix that. And Enzo, your dog, your lovely big uh absolute mutt of a hound from um Hungary. Is it Hungary? Oh, it's mixed up. Romania. Romania from Romania. Uh and I bet he's looking up to you like, I'm overheated.
SPEAKER_02Well, attached to which you see behind you.
SPEAKER_04You fucking do it then, Enzo. Putting your hind legs in your shit.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Behind me you'll see.
SPEAKER_04I've only got a fan behind me because currently all of the all of the other creatures in this house are being basked in air con downstairs. Fair play. So they've got that, and I'm I'm sweating my anus off.
SPEAKER_02Uh so you're giving a Meroasis so you can have a little cheeky prolapse while recording officially unofficially with me. Precisely.
SPEAKER_04As is my dream and as is my want. And uh that is also um, you know, just just the start of our heat wave in the UK. We've got tomorrow. I think no, Thursday for me is the hot day. Just a little 38.
unknownSheez.
SPEAKER_04Just a little 38 in the UK.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_04Which has changed loads, I will say. Like, it's changed a lot. Yeah, so um UK weather update- I Googled UK heat wave.
SPEAKER_01UK weather updates, hottest June day record, likely to be broken after overnight storms. So that's the second sign of the apocalypse. We got the heat, we got the heat death, and we've also got the old storms, the old light.
SPEAKER_04Friday's my storm day. Friday's my storm. Yeah, I've got I know my parents had loads of rain uh down in like Northamptonshire. They had loads of rain and thunder and lightning, and I think London did too. Um, but I guess that's coming to us on Friday, because that's that's the big day. But Thursday for us is it's actually gone down to 33. So 33 is the is the is the big day for me on Thursday. Jesus, that's ridiculous, isn't it? It's crazy. What do you think of when people be like, um they're like, oh, it looks worse than it is, the weather forecast, because they use purple colours now rather than like rather than like a nice green colour to be here. You ever see that one to the map on the UK map? Yeah, exactly. And they're like, uh, oh my god, we're in the purples or in 35.
SPEAKER_01And people go, oh yeah, but you've changed the colour. You've made it red instead of orange, so now it's scarier. It's like, yes.
SPEAKER_04I did I did see a map of Europe where it surpassed all of the colours and they've just gone back round to white. And so Paris was like, I think Paris is 40 degrees. My friend, you know John, uh my best man. Yeah. He's currently in Paris. Really? The only best man. Um he is currently in Paris. Uh, and he said it's it's like 38 degrees for him at the moment. That is messed up. And I was there when it was 33. You were there when it was also at the same time as me. And it was horrible how hot and sticky that was. Well, people are gonna have to figure out like the old.
SPEAKER_01I remember when I worked in an office job back in the day, they had a thing where they'd have the they had an up window and a down window. And basically the science is if you have both open, I think it's like the heat m any heat that comes in through the down window then leaves through the up window. So it might create like a vortex thing. So there's all sorts of science in order to make people's homes cooler.
SPEAKER_04Uh, you know, the classic thing of like putting ice water in front of a fan and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You ever do any of those, really?
SPEAKER_01You ever tried any of those tricks?
SPEAKER_04I used to have like a cheap uh air con. It wasn't an air con. It was like uh but it looked a lot like yours, where except without the hose out the back, and it was just like yeah, but it was basically it was just you had to fill it with water slash ice and it would then uh blow it, then had all of the cold water going through like a radiator, and it would then blow the air across that. It was just a fan and it was shit. It just it just it was never good. And then you also just had like a big wet box in your living room, and it was just and again it was horrible. So I didn't like that at all. I think I just binned that when I moved because it was just awful. It's like a glorified fan that I thought, oh, this will be good for 50 quid or whatever from the range, and it was horrible, it was really bad. So I had this as well.
SPEAKER_01The like if you have aircon at night during bedtime or s asterisk X time, I hate the noise. I can't sleep with it.
SPEAKER_04I need noise. I've told you about the bedroom. Uh, not even that. So I've said I said this to Anna as well. We have probably the bedroom from hell for most people, right? We have uh the we like to both wake up with the sun. So we have the blinds like also the cat likes to go onto the windowsill. Yeah. So even if it's all the way down, she'll like push through blinds and it's a bloody nightmare. So what we do is we have the blinds two-thirds down, uh, and then also I have the them like spun the wrong way. So like so you know how like it goes up and down. So it's like instead of slanting down, so the sun comes into our eyes, it goes up, so then it's being blocked. And anything that does come in doesn't go into our eyes, which is clever, but it looks like it's movie so far.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, movie so far.
SPEAKER_04Um we then have the I need the window open um in basically any temperature for airflow. For airflow, just I need coolness. Yeah. Um, I then have the fan on directly on me, with with it like oscillating either side, but it will be blowing on me.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_04I then have my tablet on playing a YouTube video. With light. Yeah. With with light. Anna on the other side of the bed has her iPad on playing a completely different video.
SPEAKER_05That can't be true.
SPEAKER_04You're making this up for content. Two different videos, similar to two different audios. No. So you're you're listening there, but you listen and the football on. That's fair. I've fallen seats to football.
SPEAKER_02I fallen seats of most late World Cup games this one. So the football I get.
SPEAKER_04Like I'm there on the sofa and I'll turn away from it, but I'm like, I'm listening. Go over there, I'm listening. So the football I get. But I like the thought of you listening to like a history podcast, meanwhile, she's listening to I'm about to go to sleep, darling.
SPEAKER_03Good night.
SPEAKER_04Uh, yeah, the um uh we've then also then got the dog under the bed. Uh he's asleep under there. He's got his own little cave. So you go to sleep under there.
SPEAKER_02That's cute.
SPEAKER_04And then the cat will then walk on us slash get in the duvet, um, and we'll sleep there. Uh, and then we'll also at various points in the night attack our legs.
SPEAKER_03So, and I know for a fact, and also we'll have the door open. So, this is like hell for most people.
SPEAKER_04Why is it gonna be some in a fun sort of like nibbly like roll around in it way? Like, oh, she's just gonna be able to get it. Rolls around.
SPEAKER_02Or do you'll see what you go here?
SPEAKER_04And she's just beating up your leg. She does both. She'll thrash, um, or she'll just like if my feet are out of the duvet or like out the end of the bed, she'll go to the end of the bed and I'll just see her, like, go up, I'll see her face, and she'll just go, and just like go and scratch at like our feet. Scratching, with with Claws out, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05You need to get rid of your cat, mate. You need to say to cat's protection and then say just get rid of, do not resuscitate.
SPEAKER_04Honest to God, so it sleeps on Anna, right? So she she sleeps and the cat will sleep on her chest. And I've woken up there face to face, right? Okay. And it will be completely asleep on her. At various points, if she then rolls on her side, the cat will claws out, scratch her shoulder to make her lay on her back so the cat can then lay on her chest. The cat is evil at night. She knows it doesn't work with me because when I first moved in, I just I boot her. Yeah, good. Yeah, I said if you go for the foot, you get the boot. That's good. Yeah. Thank you. If she went on the bed, literally, I'll go, whoop, and she flawed. If she refuses to flail, she swung by her tail. Exactly. All of the all of the c uh the common monikers for the cat.
SPEAKER_02Well, to be fair, there is that phrase you can't swing a cat, which is probably the worst phrase in the English language. So that's true.
SPEAKER_04But yeah, our room is health asleep in. I I need noise. I need noise, and I I don't like complete darkness. I like a little bit of light. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Would you let me sleep toe to toe when I when I knock on your hat when I knock on your door and say, hey, just thought you wanted to come over for some, I don't know, play play games outside or whatever.
SPEAKER_01And Anna's like, go along, Alex, go play over Mill. And we go and play. And we come back. And I say, uh, I say, well, my mum, my mum says, Oh, do you mind if a mill says over for a sleepover?
SPEAKER_04Your mum asks my mum, can he stay for a sleepover? Yeah. That's weird to not be the one to offer the sleepover.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, but I'm there looking all sheepish. I mean, I'm kicking my heels because I want to stay over. Oh, so you've clearly asked, yeah. We've got our matching little t-shirts, okay?
SPEAKER_04So lazy would I let you have a sleepover? Yeah, but top to toe. I mean, I just go, I just sleep like normal. I've never cared about going head to toe. You can sleep over the ball. Well, no, but Ad is there as well, so it's weird if like and the dog, and we're all heating up this room.
SPEAKER_02And also, as well, I bloody love listening to battle recreations from 1942 on my phone at night with with with um with my screen full blast of uh brightness as well. So yeah, that's funny.
SPEAKER_04You have it casted to the Google speaker that we have in the bedroom.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_04And every hour on the hour it does cannon fire.
unknownBAM! BAM!
SPEAKER_02So that's me. That's me. And you also notice at one point that I've got my headphones at you're like, what's he listening to?
SPEAKER_00And then you just hear, and then play the song if you see what it says. Oh, hang on, hang on. The blue first one. See that, play a bit see that. And then you just hear. Oh, oh, hang on, let me try and find my tab. And then all tinny. There it is. Oh, I can't hear it anymore. Something else has turned off.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I start, I stopped sharing my screen with Josh. Oh, that'll be why I mean. Well, there you go. I'll fish it out. But yeah, then you just hear Bing Bidoo is the funny little throwback little little name. And you're like, what's it? Do you have a little Reddit story for me?
SPEAKER_01Okay, yeah, I got a little Reddit story for you. Uh I've actually Reddit, man. Even though that's the name of the website. So should we have a little look at this Reddit story?
SPEAKER_04This is I'd love to.
SPEAKER_01The Ultimate Act of Laziness, a story by user Topper Wolf.
SPEAKER_04This is a classic from 13 years ago. Okay, because I've been on Reddit for. Let me see what my Reddit account was made. A very long time I've had a Reddit for. Uh 14 years. Oh, so you were July 1st, 2011. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Uh mine was uh funnily enough, is it a view profile? Is that what you say? Just on your profile.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, View Profile, and then it's like on the side. I use I also use old Reddit, which you hate. Okay, yeah, that is ugly. Um okay, higher or lower. So what year were you, sorry? Uh I was near enough exactly 15 years ago today. I was um uh 2011, July 1st, 2011. Okay, Stumpy Goblin is July 1st, 2011. Place your answers now. Is Cole older or newer as a Reddit user than Stumpy Goblin? Stumpy, what was your answer? My guess would be you are a newer user, so your account is younger than mine. I don't think by much. Okay, give me the year. I need I need specifics to see. I think by 2012 or even late 2011. I think I think we're very close.
SPEAKER_01Apparently, I was August 5th, the day before my birthday, and my future beloved's birthday. Uh 2009. What two years? Yeah, the day before my 16th birthday. I thought, do you know what? I like this. I think it's because that's when the dig pocalypse happened.
SPEAKER_04I forgot you were a dig head. Yeah, I was never on dig or anything, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, dig was cool. Dig was less of a meritocracy than reddit. There were like 10 power users on dig. Like one was called like Mr. Babyface or something like that. And if Mr. Babyface like put something forward, it would just go to the front page. No one could just upload something and it would just go high because it was all power.
SPEAKER_04I thought it was weird. Uh but anyway, yeah. So I'm I'm an older relative than you. Go on, let's let's go band to band on Twitter. Oh, okay. Okay. Because I know I've got an old Twitter. Fair play. Fair play. I know that. Uh my my personal one is quite new because I use the brand one these days.
SPEAKER_01Uh but my oh I say that, that's not true actually. So my personal one is July 2012, apparently.
SPEAKER_04That's that's that's old.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I must have used it and then I must have tried to uh win uh PlayStation 2 4 controller dual pack or whatever it was called back in 2012.
SPEAKER_04Uh I was a January 2009. Wow. So I got Reddit, you got Twitter. I was pre-U on Reddit. I was on Twitter. But then I did the classic thing. I got a Twitter and then did like four posts and then didn't use it for like eight. Yeah, that's always the way. So many people did. But people sell these things, don't they? Uh anyway, do you want to hear about the ultimate act of laziness and then maybe we can share some of our own? Of course I do. Okay, so 13 years ago, Tupperwolf said in a thread saying, Ask Reddit, what's the laziest thing you've ever done?
SPEAKER_01Late to the party, but this one is too good to pass up. I was once on a US military ship having breakfast in the wardroom, brackets officer's lounge, when the operations officer, brackets OPS, walks in. This guy was the definition of not a morning person.
SPEAKER_04Can I have a brief intermission here?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I hate when people tell a story on Reddit, and this person's done fine with it, but when normally it's a military story on Reddit, and they just fill that bitch with acronyms and initialisms. Yeah. It's so annoying. And they're like, yeah, my my R and L I uh managed to uh sneak out of the QBR. And I'm like, what the hell? Yeah, I agree. No one can read this. You fight it. Oh, PGBST. Oh PGBS T. We know you're in the military. Like you don't have to show off with acronyms initially. Sorry, carry on. Uh okay, so OBS is operations manager. Okay. Uh this guy was the definition of not a morning person. He's still half asleep, bleary-eyed, basically a zombie with a bagel. Oh, wasn't it nice when nice writing was actually a human, wasn't it not? Nice. A zombie with a bagel. That's nice. He wrote that. This human wrote that 13 years ago, rather than just spaff it into ChatGPT.
SPEAKER_01He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in at one of the portholes, putting a big bright ass circle of light right on his barely conscious face. Okay, so he's like, ah, it's a big thing.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but it's almost like a spotlight. Yeah. Because it's a porthole, yeah.
SPEAKER_01You ever uh have it when you're at uh an event, like at an RCS event in an arena, and the spotlight ends up on one person.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02The sea of darkness, like zh, zh, zum, and those zums end up on one person.
SPEAKER_03They're just like, ah, what the hell? I hate when you're at a gig and like the light's going up and down.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And every now and then you just get flashed by.
SPEAKER_04Oh god.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, just for that split second.
SPEAKER_04Uh okay.
SPEAKER_01Um big ass, bright ass circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today.
SPEAKER_04It's painful to watch. But then, zombie OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone and dials the bridge.
SPEAKER_02In his well-known, I'm still totally asleep voice, he says, Hey, it's OPS. Could you shift our bar pad?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, one six five. Thanks. And puts the phone down. Okay. And then he just sits there, squinting, waiting. And then, ever so slowly, I realize that this big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the room behind him. After a moment, it clears his face, and he blinks slowly a few times, and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back and forth patrol by about fifteen degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.
SPEAKER_04That is so good. He slowly picks up his bagel, and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness, since he's not gonna wake up for another hour.
SPEAKER_02Between his next bite, he pauses. Looks at me and gives me the faintest sly grin before returning to Nore slowly on his zombie bagel.
SPEAKER_04That's so insanely good. That person also does it so incredibly high up.
SPEAKER_03Where they just like, just let's just 15 degrees. That's right.
SPEAKER_04Instead of just going like that. Yeah, even drooping more. He's like, I'm really comfy. This is perfect bagel eating positioning. Oh my god. I think the laziest thing that I can think of that I've done to relatively dire consequence is at my old house, the uh uh well generally in my house. I don't know if this is lazy or just like smart homes nowadays. Yeah. In three areas of my house, I have motion sensors so that I don't need to turn the lights on. So in the porch, when you open the door, the light comes on, and if it's dark, it goes on to like 1%, so it only just lights the porch. Clever, smart, yep. And then in the day, it just won't turn on. Yep. Um in the kitchen, same thing, it turns on like lights underneath the cabinets, and it also turns on the spotlights uh in the light in the thing. Okay. The annoying thing is then when it's like night time and the cat walks in there, she sets off the motion sensor, so then it then lights up the kitchen. She's a fucking nightmare.
SPEAKER_02When we have our sleepover, she's not welcome.
SPEAKER_04That's fair. Uh, and then also on the upstairs landing, but that then turns off at half ten because as ever, the cat kept leaving the bedroom and then turning the light on. Um it's a shame that your cure for cancer was broken by your cat because you were just about to send that off to the Cancer Curing Society, weren't you? Uh so those those are like lazy, but I think they're also clever because I just don't want to be turning off and on light switches all the time. Yeah, automation is cool.
SPEAKER_01The the most so when I read that, what it reminded me of is not something I've done, but it's something I suffered through. And uh regular listener, big fan of of Cole, uh Matt, my mate from Uni, Pinky. Um, he and our mate Tom, we were like we were like the triangle crew.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, like the the trio, right? Did you call yourselves that? But no, we didn't. We didn't call ourselves that, sadly. I wish we'd call ourselves a triangle crew. That would have been cool. Um but they I I I did weekend work. I was a rep where I used to go.
SPEAKER_01I used to work at a what wasn't called a Panasonic store, but it was. So Panasonic owned it, and Panasonic gave them um payments for any Panasonic thing they sold, right? Okay. I was there to sell Sharp tellies. So I was the enemy. I was there in my sharp, buy sharp. And if I ever got anyone over, like, oh, this person's like, oh, sharp, yeah, interesting. Can I show you these Panasonics?
SPEAKER_04And they'd literally steal people from me. That's so funny. I was the bad guy, the spy. So I'd go to do that. I'd basically literally sold no TVs in all my time there. There was about four people I'd speak to a day, really quiet store. I'd come back exhausted, probably out the night before, might be going out that night, whatever, right? And they said to me one night, oh my god, Emil, you have to watch this video. And I go, okay. And they show it to me, and it's about eight minutes long, and it's them recording. It's like, you know, shaky cam 2014 era camera phone, right?
SPEAKER_01And I'm like, What is this? And they're like, no, honestly, this is amazing. And basically, I had my PS4 by then, and they would they were too lazy because they were hungover to get up and turn on the PS4 or insert a game or whatever it was, right? Let's say insert a insert a disc. They didn't want to press the button to get a disc out to replace it. So they went on this epic journey of trying to find things that could reach over, you know, put this together, attach this to that, attach the forks together, maybe, you know, maybe that'll work. Leaning it. Oh no, they fell. And they'd show and they and I get one minute in, they haven't done it yet, and I'm like, Do I have to watch this? They're like, Yes, you have to watch this in full. If you ever trusted us, you have to watch this full. And I watched it in full. So is it a video of them? They showed me a video of them doing this for seven minutes, and uh finally got six minutes in. I was like, right, this better be worth it. I've watched this for six minutes, and I was like, Yeah, just just take the last minute, and then it gets to the end, and they just go, I give up.
SPEAKER_02I'm like, guys. Why did you make me watch this shit? That is so seven minutes for seven minutes.
SPEAKER_03That's so dickheady as well, because they also know it's not worth it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I because I'm the the the more they fail, the more I'm thinking, okay, how did they MacGyver this thing together to press this button that they're too lazy to get up? I'm talking like two steps. Two steps it would have taken them, and they didn't do it. And that's one of the that's the one where you where that mission becomes the most important mission. And breaking the rule is then not worth it. It's like say you can't think of someone from a TV show and someone goes, Oh, we're not gonna Google it. No, it's like now everything in my brain, I only want to figure this out. And I'm sure I will do in three days' time randomly when I'm on the train.
SPEAKER_01And I'd love to know why that is. I'd love to know the mechanism of why if you're trying to think of um Robert Downey Jr., you can't remember his name, and you go, Oh, is it is it is it Terry Terry something? Mm-hmm. Uh Tony? And then four days later, oh, it's Robert Downey Jr. Out of nowhere. Why does that happen?
SPEAKER_04Is that just like like a little fella in your brain, just like still whirring away, like doing all the little like filing cabinets? Exactly. That's Jake. I imagine filing cabinets. I imagine a guy, an old fella tootling along in his monocle, going, Oh, yes, uh, well, we'll try B.
SPEAKER_05Is it Barry?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_05Maybe not.
SPEAKER_01Maybe not that all right. And then eventually he gets to R. And he's like, oh, here's that name you requested a week ago, sir. And I'm like, oh, puts it in the shoot.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, exactly. If my guy was faster, I'd be somewhat better at recording podcasts. I mean, the laziest thing I've done is I was sitting on the sofa at my old house and the light was on. This is before I had like smart lights in my house. Yeah. And the light was on, um, and I was laying on the sofa. I don't I don't think I was hung over, I think I was just tired laying on the sofa doing whatever, watching the tell, and I thought, okay, I want I want the the light off now. So I saw the light switch and a similar thing where I thought, I need to, I need that off, but like fuck do I want to move. Yeah. And I used to have um uh the uh like shoe rack next to me, and I laid there, it must have been 10 minutes, just picking up a shoe and then just throwing it, and it just kept missing.
SPEAKER_03And it was putting like loads of like dust and like bits of mud on my wall. And I thought, I've started this now. And I was like picking up like a flip-flop, and I was like, nope, didn't work. And I wouldn't, it wasn't just like a chain, it's like every like 30 seconds. I thought, right, yeah, I went through. Nope, missed that. Eventually, I picked up like a shoe with like um, you know, sometimes that's not like a spongy like heel paste to them.
SPEAKER_04I picked up one that was more like a leather shoe with um like a proper like hard thing. And I thought, I need to if I nailed this, this is this is doing it. This is the one. I got it. Come on, picked up the shoe, threw it, dead on, bang, straight on it, light goes off, and I'm like, oh my god, finally nailed it. Vindication later on, stood up, uh, was gonna go to the kitchen like late that night or something, stood up, I absolutely obliterated the light switch.
SPEAKER_03The uh the switch had been snapped and was forced inside the wall from how much I must have hit it with like the heel or whatever.
SPEAKER_04Jesus. And it like it caved in the switch, and I then had to replace it. So it was like 15 odd quid that I'd spent to basically turn off my light. At least you did it though, which I never would have got to. That's why you need to do your your attic, your attic door. Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01Shall we have a very quick look? Because it's something I want to bring in. Oh yeah, yeah. A little look at the comments that we've got over the last week. Some of my favourite comments that we've had, because people are taking us in across uh YouTube. And if you're watching this on YouTube now, if you've been watching us for 53 minutes, drop a sub, drop a subscription. Started off with a little Reddit chat. Now we uh chat about whatever, and uh we're about to go into something else as well. But um, yeah, make sure you sub. And also TikTok and Instagram and all of those Spotify. Yeah, so I've um I've sent you some of my my favourite comments that I've seen. Oh, okay. Uh so from Jerry Monster on Spotify, as you mentioned. Have you? Uh he was referring he was referring to the uh video we put up of uh We Like It, we like it, we love it.
SPEAKER_04The USA chant.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Yeah. Uh so Jerry Monster is a proud Murrican. And he said, That chant you two are lampooning isn't American. I heard it from an under-17 Irish side. I was playing in Italy at least five years before the American outlaws picked it up to run with. That recording of it is really bad though. They're not even doing it really. Oh, come on!
SPEAKER_03But he's he also watches a stream, and bless him yesterday he was trying to like defend bits of American sporting culture.
SPEAKER_04It's so funny how bad that that chant is. And it's so funny how many examples there are. Maybe they're the ones that go viral. It's selection bias. Yeah, yeah, of course.
SPEAKER_03The and that's the way we like it. We like it, we love it! It's so cute. I really like it.
SPEAKER_04So on TikTok, people got it. Um, Sydney, who's a regular commenter, shout out Sydney, said uh a sticker of like laughing at it and said, seed more energy at a funeral. Which I thought was funny. But then I responded with, We mourn it. We mourn it. Uh, and then a lot of people saying, We love it, we love it, they love it, we love it. So TikTok really, really sort of got it. Shiv said, I don't know how they managed to be so out of tune. Uh YouTube, meanwhile, didn't didn't quite get it in the same way. NPC YouTube. Oh no.
SPEAKER_02Uh, where um Maximus said Europe has better fans. Okay. Europeans.
SPEAKER_03The rate of NPCs on YouTube is remarkable. It's insane how many there are.
SPEAKER_02Well, maybe maybe Daniel's check will change your mind, because Daniel's check said, uh, that's a joke of a chant. Come to Europe and watch a soccer game there, Wink.
SPEAKER_03I don't know what he thought we were doing. I don't know. Did he think we were defending that chant? Because we're saying that we like the chant, but not because it's a good chant, but because it's sweet. It's sweet that they're giving it a blooming good go.
SPEAKER_04Don't think Daniel's check quite got that. Quite got that.
SPEAKER_01Uh and then uh Shakistiak said, uh, this is actually quite good on it. Why did you let why did you let El Oringiano himself write your footy chance for fuck's sake?
SPEAKER_04Go back, focus on the lyrics and the tempo, imagine the voice, then tell me it isn't true. When you're famous, they let you do it.
SPEAKER_02They let you chant it.
SPEAKER_00We like it, we like it, we love it. We love it. Beautiful chant. Beautiful chant.
SPEAKER_04Uh, so yeah, there were some comments that I saw this week. So should I post more comments? There was also, I saw, I saw that I got some hate for shuffling albums. Oh yes, I forgot about those ones. So yeah, do you wanna read what people said to you directly? Because basically, Sampy said that he shuffles every album even on First Listen. Brand new album, like the old shuffle. Go for it. I was gonna say because I'm just you know, as we said during the what was it, the defamation of Strickland Banks. That's a very funny clip of what we were saying. I said I knew he was innocent before he even did it. Uh and uh and did he do it? I don't know. I've got no idea. Uh but yeah, I I'll shuffle an album, I don't really care. Uh Dion Olsen said this is criminal, just this is straight up criminal. Uh Mega Camera Dan, who's one of your mates, Petey Dam. Yes. Yeah. If you're listening to the whole album, it should be illegal to listen to it on shuffle. I also like how much it frustrates people, which makes me do it more.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I know that. Because it's it doesn't it doesn't matter to them. It's such a good opinion to have because it doesn't it impacts nobody negatively, right?
SPEAKER_04Yeah. If you're like, well, you get a worse experience, but I don't care about that. So therefore I don't. Like, it doesn't matter to me.
SPEAKER_03Uh, Greg Robertson, those who shuffle albums bring upon us Armageddon.
SPEAKER_04I love that wording. That's very nice, a very poetic wording. That's beautiful from Greg. Do you think I'm bringing about Armageddon by shuffling albums? Uh, I'd say that Russia is more by invading Ukraine.
SPEAKER_03Thank you everybody for listening to episode 35.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, we never said that. Officially. Unofficially. The best podcast on the internet. Thanks, guys. And next week, we will have a look at You Be the Judge.
SPEAKER_01We teased this last week. Yeah, yeah, no. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. If we always go at the bank, we teased this last week. We've got to tease it again. You be the judge. Should my flatmate stop using my details to sign up for free trials? Ronnie is using Billy's name to register for free streaming services at gyms, which Billy objects to.
SPEAKER_04You get to preside over this trial next week. Everybody, thank you very much. Appreciate you. Drop a like, subscribe, comment, all of those stuff. You'll be the judge next time. Uh cheers, lol. England!