Everything I Wish I Knew Before My Tummy Tuck + Breast Reduction

I’m spilling all the tea on my tummy tuck and breast reduction — the good, the bad, and the belly button. 👀

After losing 100 pounds and having four babies, I finally decided to have surgery — and I’m walking you through everything. From my obsession with finding the perfect belly button, to what recovery was actually like (spoiler: I slept in a recliner for a month), to the unexpected way it changed my confidence, my back pain, and even my relationship with my body.

If you’ve ever thought about getting a breast reduction, tummy tuck, or any kind of “mommy makeover,” this episode is the real deal — no filters, no shame, just the truth about what it’s really like.

Ready to lose the weight and keep it off this time? CLICK HERE to Join The Body Confidence Academy.

Transcript

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You're listening to Real and Naturalish, the podcast where we evolve and own the glow up in real time. I'm your host, Natasha Pearson. Alright, so today we are going to take a deep dive into my story of getting surgery. Um if you don't know this, but back in gosh, what is even this year? What is this year? What is this year? Is just too deep of a question. It's 2025, is the simple answer to that. It's 2025. I had Allen in 2022. I lost the weight over the next year. I had surgery in 2023. So we're coming up on two years post-op this December. My entire life. I feel like I have to start all the way back in fifth grade. Don't worry though, this isn't gonna be that long. But in fifth grade, that was actually when I started going through puberty. I started my period when I was 10 years old through puberty early, is my point. And so in sixth grade, like my boobs started to get big enough to the point where I had to wear a bra. Like I didn't have an option to not wear a bra. By the time I was in eighth grade, I was a double D cup and my boobs kept growing every year until like high school, until that I graduated. And then even then, you know, I started gaining more weight. And what happens when you gain weight? Your boobs get bigger. I have had big boobs my entire life. And one thing I actually think that people don't consider when it comes to getting any type of cosmetic surgery or any surgery that alters your body. One of the hardest things for me that I had to actually deal with was kind of my identity because my whole life, literally my whole life, I was known as the girl with big boobs. People called me the girl with big boobs. Like I was always the girl with big boobs. Tasha, oh yeah, she's got really big boobs. That was how people described me. Not saying that I liked it, but it was really weird to think like my entire life for over, well, not over 30 years, but probably like 20 years, I was known as the girl with big boobs, and I'm no longer going to have them. That was very exciting to me though. But it was kind of weird. Like, I don't think a lot of people think about the way that you think about yourself changes when you have surgery. So, anyways, my whole life I knew I was gonna get a breast reduction. I knew since middle school that I wanted to get a breast reduction. And people say all the time, before you get any type of cosmetic surgery, like really take a lot of time to think about it. For me, this was something that I had been thinking about for over 20 years. Like, there was no question in my mind. The reason why I didn't do it sooner, though, is because it was really important to me to be able to breastfeed my kids. And when you get a breast reduction, there is a chance, depending on how much breast tissue they remove, what they remove, like there's a possibility that you will not be able to breastfeed. So for me, I didn't want to take that risk. Looking back now though, I don't know if I would have made that same decision. Just because, like, I, oh my gosh, it was crazy waking up with small boobs. It was so cool. I'm like, anyways, we're getting ahead of ourselves now. Maybe I'll talk about that during the Q ⁇ A because I asked on my Instagram stories what questions you have. We have a lot of questions to answer, but I kind of wanted to share the story first. I knew I was gonna get a breast reduction for a long time. I knew it was gonna happen after I had kids, once I lost the baby weight. So after I had Alan, you know, I got within like 20 pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight, and that's when I went in for my consultation. So I actually consulted with different surgeons. Here's the thing I didn't know. And I don't know if you knew this, you have to pay for consultations. And it's not cheap. It was like 200 bucks. So you pay$200 to come in to consult with this doctor, see if you like them, see their pictures, ask all the questions, do all the things. If you decide to move forward, the usually that goes as a deposit towards your surgery. But if you want to do your due diligence and, you know, meet different people, it is expensive. So what I actually did, because I didn't want to have to pay out of pocket to go consult with a bunch of doctors, um, so I asked around my community. I talked to all the people I knew. I asked my midwife if she knew anyone that had had any surgeries after having babies. I had some friends who had different um surgeries done. So I asked everyone to find um a plastic surgeon. The other thing is, it was really important to me. I wanted my boobs to look natural. Um, and for me, I actually felt more comfortable with a female surgeon, not because like I think a male is any less good, but when I met with the surgeon that did my surgery, that was really weird to say the surgeon that did my surgery, I really liked her because she was a woman, she could understand what I wanted. And the way that she spoke to me was like, I get it. I know what you're going through because I'm also a woman who has breasts. And I I mean, I have heard horror stories from people that are very close to me where it was, hey, I went to go get implants and I knew what I wanted. I wanted to look natural, but the doctor talked me into getting these ones, and now my boobs look unnatural and I need to go get them fixed. Like I have heard that story so many times. Now, this is a little bit different because I did get a reduction, which is more like reconstructive. Um, to quote one of the things that I heard during one of my consultations is anyone can put in implants, but to actually take your breasts and make them smaller, like it's almost an art form because you're not just sticking something in, like you're reshaping them, you're making sure they're the same size, like it's a little bit different. So I went in, I had a couple of consultations. I did two, and I ended up going with, I know this was one of the questions. Um, at the time it was called golly plastic surgery, but now it is MD plastic surgery in Scottsdale. My surgeon was Dr. Gagan, who I loved her. Like all of my consultations, she was so kind to me. She spent so much time with me. Like I never felt like I was rushed out of there. And you know, it's kind of funny. I was talking to Betty before this, and I was telling her um that I'm kind of obsessive compulsive. And when I I am someone that asks a lot, a lot of questions. And there were like several times where I went in, like, even my pre-op appointment, I had a page front and back of qu new questions that I had after I had already like paid the deposit, had my surgery date. Like, this was my pre-op appointment. I'm like, because I mean it's kind of scary. You're like going into under anesthesia, like all of these things. And I had so many questions. She just made me feel so at ease. I think that was also because I had gone down so many rabbit holes on Google of things that could go wrong. But ultimately, the mindset that gave me the most peace going into surgery is I thought about it this way. A lot of like the horror stories that you hear, you're not getting the full context. Sometimes those people are going out of the country to get surgeries, or let's put it, let's, let's put it this way. There is a difference between eating at a Michelin star restaurant and a McDonald's. I don't think that all surgeons are created equal, and I think that's why it's so important to do your research, talk to people, read reviews, do all of the things. And I I felt really confident with my surgeon. I knew how long she's been doing this, how many of these surgeries she's done. She gave me all the stats on everything, and I just felt really comfortable going in. So make sure that you feel that way if you decide that you end up wanting to get surgery. Now, I said I wanted to get a breast reduction. I also ended up getting a tummy tuck. After I had my surgery scheduled, we went on vacation to Turks and Caicos, and I just remember feeling so uncomfortable in my swimsuit because of my stomach. And for me, for the longest time, I thought like I just have to lose more weight. I have to lose more weight. Like, I still have a lot of fat on my stomach. I have to lose more weight. And I finally was like, you know, I've lost a lot of weight. I've lost a hundred pounds. I've had four babies. Maybe this isn't just extra fat. Like, there's probably some loose skin here. And so I decided when we were on vacation, you know, I had talked to a lot of people. Um, my mom also had a tummy tuck, gosh, a long time ago. And she said, you know, if that's something that you think you might want to do, like just do it all at once. So you're not going into like multiple surgeries. And so I went home and I was like, okay, I'm gonna ask questions about this. And I went in, I had another consultation and I asked, I said, is there anything that I can do for this, like non-invasive, or how much more weight do you think I need to lose? And she literally looked at me and said, There is no amount of weight that you can lose. This is all loose skin. And that moment I was like, all right, I am gonna get a tummy tuck. I was so nervous though, because I personally think tummy tuck belly buttons look weird. And so I cannot tell you how long I spent Google searching different belly buttons to give her like an idea of because I didn't want like a slit. I feel like my belly button actually looks pretty good. Um, and I'm really happy with it. And do I like my old belly button better? Yes, I do. However, I would take the belly button I have now with my abs repaired because that's another thing. I also got my abs sewn back together. I had a two, like two and a half, three-inch gap in my abs from having babies. I didn't know what core strength was. Like I could not engage my core. It my I'm gonna get into this in a minute, but like my life changed after getting a tummy tuck in a way that I think people don't even realize. So I decided I wanted to get rid of the loose skin. And I think I will interject right now because so many people say, like, literally every time people say this to me, I just roll my eyes. I don't even have a response because I'm just like, really? Where people think that, like, oh, I cheated because I got a tummy tuck. Listen, I lost a hundred pounds naturally before I got pregnant. Then I went through a 41-week and one day pregnancy. I had a baby. I lost the baby weight again naturally, all before I got surgery. Like, I lost the weight naturally. A tummy tuck is not weight loss surgery. I'm gonna repeat that. A tummy tuck is not weight loss surgery, it's skin removal. And I also had an abdominal repair. And I've talked to so many women who, after having babies, you know, they either have like a hernia that they need to get repaired, they have a big ab separation that they need to get repaired. I literally had my abs sewn back together and I had five pounds of loose skin removed on my stomach. Um, so it was not weight loss surgery. I did lose the weight naturally, and then yes, I had the skin removed. And I know I think that it's really important to talk about this because I don't think that there was anything wrong with my body. I I knew that I wanted to get rid of my loose skin. I mean, it's not fun putting your pants on and worrying about zipping your skin up. Like, I didn't want to have to worry about that anymore. But just because you want to change your body does not mean that you don't love yourself. I mean, just even think about it with weight loss. Even if you want to lose weight, does that mean you don't love yourself? No, it doesn't. And for me, I thought, and I agree with this now, like getting those surgeries greatly improved my life. Um, so I did all the pre-op stuff. I went in, I got my surgery, my mom actually drove me in. Um, one thing I would highly recommend to anyone, I did not know this was a thing until um my surgeon told me. She was like, you know, people who are getting both breasts and a tummy tuck, she required this, which I'm so grateful for. And anyone I know now that's getting a tummy tuck, I always say, like, make sure to do this. Um, after my surgery, I actually stayed at like an outpatient care facility with a nurse. So I still had my IV. I was getting pain medication through an IV. I had a nurse helping me get up and go to the bathroom because that's the thing. After you get your abs repaired, you cannot, like, you have no strength. I literally had, I needed to be lifted up. And so that was a game changer. I actually had a nurse care for me overnight, and then I went home the next day. I would recommend that for everyone. I went home the very next day, and another thing I highly recommend is a lifting recliner. Had I just got a breast reduction, I would not have needed that, but I definitely needed the lifting recliner. I slept in that for a month, and it's so weird. So after getting your abs repaired, I don't know if it's like this with a typical tummy tuck. A lot of people say that recovery is very similar to if you have had a C-section. I've never had a C-section, so I don't, I I can't make the comparison, but a lot of people say it's very similar to that. But I walked hunched over for like three weeks. It was almost like I had to stretch my abs back out. But as soon as I could stand up straight, this is where it's crazy. Like I I did not even know that this would happen after getting a tummy tuck, but this is what makes me so grateful I did it. All of my back, I've had really bad lower back pain ever since I gave birth to Ralph in 2016. I have been seeing a chiropractor multiple times a month because like the pain in my lower back is so bad. There was even a point where it got so bad I could not get out of bed. It would take me 20 to 30 minutes to get myself out of bed because it was so physically painful. All of my lower back pain is gone. All of it. I have not had lower back pain since I had surgery. And it's because I have a core now. I actually have core strength. And I remember like experiencing this and like I feel like that, I felt like that emoji whose brain was exploding. I was like, is this real life? I remember like lifting my leg up and using my core strength to lift my leg. I was like, wait, this is what people mean when they say engage your core. I've never been able to do this that I can remember. And so now, like, no lower back pain. I actually have core strength. It makes a big difference when I exercise. Yes, I have had to like really work. I mean, just because just because it's there does not mean that it was very strong, but like it has made a huge difference, not just cosmetically, but just the way that I live my everyday life. And then my boobs, oh, I I I can't even talk about like when I was at my heaviest, I was a 36H. In H. Did you even know that an H cup existed? Even when I got down to 132 pounds before my reduction, I was a 32 double F. So yeah, and it always like it hurt my back. Like my breast, I feel like was more of my upper back, not my lower back. But also because of that, since I was 13 years old, so middle school, I have had to always wear a bra, even when I sleep, because it was so uncomfortable to not wear them. So really think about that. I got surgery when I was one and a half years ago. How old am I now? So 34. So really think about that. For 20 years, the only time I wasn't wearing a bra was when I was in the shower. Even when I was wearing a swimsuit, I had to get underwired swimsuits. I always wore a bra. So after surgery, I'm like, I don't have to wear a bra. This is what this is what people mean when they say quote unquote, take your bra off at the end of the day. That's what this is. Like, it was so nice. Like I could wear normal sized things. I could get like bras in small, medium, large. I could never get that before. I mean, when you're a 32 double F, that's like an extra small band size, but like a triple XL bust size. Like I couldn't, I couldn't buy those kinds of bras. Now I can. Some of them though, I I just naturally have like a more narrow rib cage. So some of them still don't fit. And I've also realized, so now, now that I um have lost all the weight. Oh, that's the other thing I didn't mention. I got surgery. So she, my surgeon said, um, make sure that you are within 10 pounds of your ideal weight before you get surgery. So that's where I was. I was at like 145 when I got surgery, and my 100 pounds down weight where I wanted to be was like 134, 135. So I was within 10 pounds. But what's really wild is I was so swollen after surgery. I weighed, I think I weighed myself as soon as I got home, like in the morning, just because I was just curious. I was genuinely curious. People say you get so swollen. I weighed 156 pounds. That is how like over 10 pounds of swelling. Like I felt like my skin was gonna burst. Um now that I'm at like, I'm at, I think 134 right now. I'm floating between 134 and 138, I think, at the time of recording this. And my bra size is it's kind of weird. I'm between a 32 and a 34 band size, depending on the bra. And if I'm a third, I'm either a 32 double D or a 34 D. So for me, I'm like, I have small boobs, but now like it's really funny. Now that I'm actually able to like wear normal clothes, I've realized like, oh, I still have big boobs. They're just not like extremely big. They're still big, but yeah, they're they're small to me and I like them. My husband likes them. They have done so much for my confidence. I mean, you have to think, like, really think about this. I don't want to get too graphic here because this is kind of embarrassing, but I have lost a significant amount of weight four times. I have lost a hundred pounds. I have had four children and I breastfed all of them. I'm sure you could imagine what my boobs look like. They were so like saggy. I so it has been life-changing. It has been absolutely life-changing. Um, if you have been thinking about a breast reduction, do it. Like, I, oh, that's what I was gonna say. Would I have done it sooner? I don't know. It's hard. It's hard to think because I can see all the benefits, and it's like, yeah, there are times where I'm like, man, what would it have been like to have small boobs for the last 20 years and not have to have worried about all these things? But I also don't know like how I would have felt if I wouldn't have been able to breastfeed my kids. So I don't really know. I don't know what the right answer is. I am just glad that I did it sooner rather than later, like right after having kids, so now I can enjoy my small boobs in my youth still. Now we are gonna get into some QA. And I feel like I've already answered some of these, but I will rapid fire do it again. Would I get surgery again? 1000% yes. I'm also really grateful that I did both surgeries at the same time because my recovery for my abdominal surgery, the recovery for that is really painful. And because it's so painful and your brain can really only process pain from one area at a time, I did not even feel my boobs. Like I didn't even feel them. It was just like, oh yeah, they feel normal because all of this pain is concentrated in my abdominal area. Um, the recovery was pretty hard. I would say that was probably the hardest part. I exponentially got better though. So yeah, this next question is what was the recovery like? I would say I did not feel back to 100% until a year post-op. But most of that happened in the beginning. So I would say the first, the first 10 days were the hardest. Like they were really, really hard. I didn't want to move, but I had to move because I didn't want to get blood clots. I had to take off my compression to shower. And every time I took off my compression, the swelling hurt and it was hard to stand up. I slept in a recliner for a month, which is not comfortable. Like, just because I did it doesn't mean like, oh yeah, sleeping in a recliner for a month is comfy. No, I like I couldn't even go on my side. I was literally sitting straight, reclined back, sleeping on my back. And I am a side sleeper. That was so hard for me, but again, it was worth it. So by three weeks, I felt pretty normal. Um, and this was in December. I did it around Christmas time because I didn't want to be in the sun. I didn't want my scars to be in the sun, and it was just the best time to get it done for me. I remember by Christmas, I still was sitting in my recliner, and Dave moved my recliner out to the Christmas tree for me. Um, but I slept in that thing for a month. It was probably three weeks before I could comfortably sit on the couch. I still had to like slowly sit down though. Then by three months, I would say I was doing almost everything pretty normally. I would still swell a lot when I exercised. And even now, I will still swell sometimes when I exercise. It's not as bad, but that was really hard for me having lost so much weight and then my weight fluctuating a lot with the swelling. There was like a couple months where I just stopped weighing myself because it wasn't doing anything, just because I was so swollen. And it the days where you move more, the days where you walk more, you are going to swell more. It was probably three months before getting dressed didn't hurt. And I did an extended tummy tuck. So I actually have a scar. I'd say right where your hip bone is. That spot on my back is where my scar starts. And so it goes from there all the way around my front and then all the way to the other side. So it was hardest. Is sometimes when I was moving or sitting, it felt like my scar was pulling apart. And that was the hardest part with compression too. I mean, in the beginning, I actually had really good compression that was like hook and eye type closure, where when I transitioned to like skims, it was actually painful on my scar to put them on. So I stayed in that other compression for longer. Um, but I would say that was probably the hardest part, is it was six months before I comfortably could wear a pair of tight pants just because like my scar was so sensitive. And then by there, like between six months and a year, it was just really slowly over time, I started to feel better and better and better. I am a year, a little over a year and a half out though, right underneath my belly button is still numb. I like I can feel pressure, but it's still numb. I think I'm gonna go do uh lymphatic massage. I've heard that that really helps just because I I am still numb in that spot and I don't know if that's permanent. Okay, so this next Okay, this next question. I'm literally like looking at Betty the baker over here. Where's my sourdough, by the way? You didn't bring me a loaf today. But someone had asked on my Instagram, are they round? And I was like, was that a girl that asked that? Like, are they genuinely curious about the shape or was that like a creepy guy? Um, this is a genuine question. And I actually understand it because I mean, when you're getting your breasts done, it's really hard to know what they're gonna look like without a bra on unless you're looking at a lot of pictures. And actually for reductions, there are less photos out there, so it's harder to find someone. But that was actually one of the reasons I chose my surgeon because I felt like her breast reductions looked more natural, whereas other ones that I saw, they looked almost like almost too wide. Oval, like a long ways oval, if that makes sense. I don't know. But I feel like mine are really like a natural shape. I did not get an implant though. So a lot of people will get a reduction in an implant. I did not want to have implants, but the reason why they do that is for the fullness at the top of your breast. And I didn't realize this at the time. I mean, yes, I would still make the decision to not get implants, just because when you have big boobs for a really long time, the last thing you want is implants and thinking that they're gonna get bigger. But now I understand why people do it because it adds fullness to the top part of your breast. So for me, like they just look, I feel like they probably look normal. I mean, they look normal to everything else I have seen. They look normal for natural breasts that don't have implants. Um, I feel like that's kind of how you can tell when people have implants because there's more fullness at the top. Like it's round, more round at the top. Mine are not like that. So when I'm not wearing a bra, like it's still like kind of flatter on the top. So they're not like circular round, they're not implant round. Not that that's a bad thing if that's what you're looking for. I just didn't want that. They just look very normal, I think. Oh. Were there any negative side effects or anything that you didn't anticipate happening during recovery? Um, no, but I will say, I mean, hindsight's 2020. There's one part of my scar where it's thicker on um on my abdominal scar, on my right side, there's like a three-inch section where it's a little bit more stretched out, where on my left side it's so thin that you can hardly see that. And I actually think that it was caused by like moving around or over stretching, like my scar got a little bit stretched out. So that's the other thing I would say is like, do not overdo it. Like, really take your time recovering. I know a lot of people like try to get back into things as soon as possible. There is a reason why you are not supposed to move around, like, there is a reason why you are supposed to let yourself heal and recover. And it's not just for everything internally that's healing, but also like it affects your scar. So I also used a silicone gel on my scar for the first couple of months, and then I used silicone tape. And then the other thing that I use, and I still use this now, is bio oil to help reduce the appearance of my scar. But my scarring actually looks really good. I remember after, like a month after I got my surgery, I had to go um just get like a regular annual physical, and my doctor, who's not a surgeon, like I showed her the scars on my breasts, and she was shocked. She she literally was like, I have never seen scars look this good on my breasts. You can't you can't even see them. Like it's question about the scarring. What do the scars look like? So I already mentioned the one on for my tummy tuck goes almost all the way around. For my boobs, I think they call it like I don't know, it's like an anchor or like a lollipop. I don't know, there's names for the scars. So I have a scar all the way underneath my breast. So think about where an underwire would go on a bra. That is all a scar for me. So that's one line, and then I have it looks like a lollipop. So I have a scar all the way around my nipple and a line going up where it makes it look like an anchor from like the middle bottom all the way up to my nipple. But again, like it's really hard to tell. Next question Was it hard to find motivation to work out after your surgery? Yes and no. Um, no, because I didn't work out for so long. My body was craving movement, especially after being on my weight loss journey for so long and like being in such a good routine of working out and walking three miles every day and then like just stopping. That was really hard for me. I think the hardest part though was like mentally I wanted to work out, but physically my body could not handle as much as I thought I could because I was still recovering and I would get swollen so easily and then it would get painful. So I really had to ease myself back into it. But honestly, like I was excited, especially with the the loose skin gone on my stomach. I was like, oh, I wonder if I'll ever be able to see my abs. Like, I wonder how my body is going to look now as I lose the last 10 pounds, which losing the last 10 pounds took a very long time. And I think partially that's because I was so swollen for so long. I feel like now I was I'm finally like back to regular. Next question. Next question. Where did I go and how much did it cost? Um, so I went to MD plastic surgery in Scottsdale. My doctor's name was Dr. Gagan, and I honestly I don't remember the cost. I do remember it was more expensive than the other place, but for me, I mean, I have a horror story. When I got my eyebrows microbladed for the first time, this was this was almost 10 years ago now. I had like a botched eyebrow job. Like it was so bad. I had to go to like two different people to get them fixed. It was a whole thing. But that experience taught me like, don't just let anyone make a permanent change to your body. Like, do your research, it is important. So for me, I'm like, I don't care that it's more money. This is the person I trust. This is the person whose results like I want mine to look like. I think that it will be worth it. Um, but the extended tummy tuck with the abdominal repair was the most expensive. The breast reduction was not as expensive. You also have to pay a facility fee. I had to pay the anesthesiologist, like it was broken out into a lot of different things. Um, I also did a fat transfer. I don't, I mentioned that when I first got it done. So when they do the tummy tuck, they actually um I think they liposuction just like a little bit in the back because if they don't, you'll get like a roll over the scar. Like they do it for almost everyone. I had them inject that into my hip dip. So I have a hip dip, I don't know if you know what a hip dip is. Um, it's actually pretty common, I think. You can Google search it, but essentially, like I'm very hourglass figure, so small waist, big hips, and then I had like a little indent on the side of my hips. So she injected fat there to smooth it out, so now it is not as severe. Which when she did that, it made my butt look more round. So I'm not mad about it. I'm glad I did that. So that was another thing that I had paid for too. Um, sometimes insurance will cover breast reductions depending on who the surgeon is and depending on how much they're removing and if they're removing breast tissue or not, because having large breasts can affect. I mean, I had so much back pain, um, which is kind of shocking to me. I'm guessing though, if you're getting a tummy tuck for abdominal repair or a hernia or something, that probably is covered by insurance. I want to say it was around 40,000. I would say that that's my I don't remember. I would literally have to go pull up everything. Um, but I think that was how much I had paid for all of it. And again, it was it was worth it. It has changed my life so much. Um, were you worried about what others would think and if they would attribute your weight loss to surgery? So, yes, this is actually something I wrestled with for a while. Um, and I think this is, I think I answered almost everything, right? This will be the last question. Um, but yes, I was a little bit worried about that because by this point in time I had over a million followers on TikTok. I think I had over a million on Instagram, and people had followed me specifically for my weight loss journey. And I had shown that I lost a hundred pounds naturally. So there was that aspect where it's like, you know, yeah, people might say it, but if they say it, they clearly have not been following me. And I'm so grateful. So many of you guys always defend me in the comments. They're like, girl, you have not you have no idea. Like, go scroll back three years and you will see that these results are not fake. Um, and I feel like a lot of people who lose a lot of weight get skin removal surgery. Just because it's not called a quote unquote tummy tuck, it's okay if they do skin removal surgery, even though a tummy tuck is removing loose skin. So I think it was just more so, I think it's just like the assumptions people I mean, even just think of what people call it, a quote unquote mommy makeover. I hate that term. Yes, technically I got a mommy makeover, but I was plan like I wanted smaller boobs. I didn't want a mommy makeover because I didn't accept my body how it was. I wanted it because I wanted to feel more confident. I had worked so hard to lose so much weight. I had so much loose skin. I was so uncomfortable. I was holding my boobs up in the shower. To me, that is more than just a mommy makeover. I think it's just the conno the negative connotations people typically have when you say that you are getting a tummy tuck. And at the end of the day, this is what I realized and I came to terms with. I am not doing this for anyone else. I am doing this for me. If I was nobody on social media and nobody knew who I was, what decision would I make? And that was how I went into this. I made the decision that I wanted to make. And guess what? No one else has to live in my body every single day except me. Just because you want to change your body doesn't mean you don't love yourself. I think that more so was what I was worried about is people assuming that I thought there was something wrong with me, or I've talked about being confident in your body. You can still have confidence and have loose skin. You can still have loose skin and be beautiful. For me though, I I just wanted to change it. And I don't think that there's anything wrong with it. I wanted it. It has tremendously improved my quality of life, and I would do it again. Okay, we're gonna wrap this up with our final little segment, which I am so excited. I have a new idea um for this, and I think I want to call it love letters to my family because the reason I thought about this, so last night Dave and I we were having a really good conversation about what were we talking about? We were talking about forgiveness. It was a really good conversation, and I thought afterwards, you know, my husband's love language is words of affirmation. That is like my lowest form of love language. I am acts of service. Like just do something for me to make my life easier. That is how I feel loved. Um, I show love to people. I love giving people gifts and not just any gifts. I will give people very thoughtful gifts. That's that's what I love doing. Um, Dave is all words of affirmation, and that's really hard for me to remember. And so I thought about this last night because I was thinking all of these amazing things about my husband, and I was like, when's the last time I told him this out loud? I was like, you know, Dave feels so loved with words of affirmation, so I'm like, why not share on the podcast? I know I harp on him so much about his 3D printer junk and the random crap he buys, and I don't think I talk as much about how much I love him and how amazing he is. At the same time, though, I do want to say this. I there is a reason why I don't share a lot about our marriage because for me, it is so sacred to me, and it is something that is so personal to me that I don't want to share that with the world. It is like I I cherish our marriage so much that like I don't want to put it out there. I don't want people to comment on it, and I think that we have such an incredible relationship that I do think that as much as I doggone him for his 3D printer, I should say nice things. So I want to say, I want to share a love letter to my husband. And the reason I thought about this, we were having this conversation about forgiveness, and he said to me, he was like, you know, it's really hard because we were kind of sharing experiences in our life. Like, yes, we know, we know each other, we know everything about each other. And there have been a couple of times for me where I don't even know if I forgive someone. Like, even now, it's like I don't think that forgiveness is something that you just decide one day. I almost feel like it's kind of like grief where it comes in waves. Because just because you decide to forgive someone doesn't mean that the hurt isn't gone forever. And I think that is one of the things I struggle with so much when it comes to forgiveness. Because even if I choose to forgive someone, those feelings of hurt can still come back up. And that's really hard. And then it makes you question do I actually forgive them if I feel this hurt? Anyways, David had said to me, he's like, you know, I feel really lucky because I don't think I've ever had a situation where it's been hard for me to forgive someone. Like, I just no one's ever wronged me that much. And I was thinking about that, and I was thinking about that for a while because then he like uh we went and off and did our own things for a little bit for like a couple minutes, and then he came back in the room and I said to him, I'm like, you know, Dave, I don't think that's true. Like, what if you are just such a forgiving person that you don't even realize like how hard it's just something that is easy for you, it just comes natural to you. Like you, you are just naturally forgiving that you don't think anyone has ever wronged you to the point where it's hard to forgive them because you're just naturally like that. And if you have met my husband, you probably can see how that's true. And I feel so lucky that he is my husband. We truly make each other better people. Like, all of I'm gonna cry. All of the things that I struggle with are his strengths. Like, like I said, he's so charismatic. He's that person that anyone, like, if you ever met him in real life, you would just when I met him for the first time, literally, my first thought, the first time I met my husband, the very first thought that went through my head is that's someone I would be best friends with. He seems like he would be my best friend. Like, I just like I felt this connection. Like, he's so kind, he's so nice, he's so giving, he's so forgiving. And like, if you know me in real life, I'm an Enneagram eight. I have been told my whole life, aside from the fact that you have big boobs, I have been told that I can be aggressive, intimidating, I am not afraid to speak my mind, I'm not afraid to stand up for what I want. And my husband is just a natural peacemaker, and he makes me want to be a better person, and he brings that out in me, and I am so grateful for him and I love him so much. So even if you hear me, you know, harping on him, making fun of him, just know that that's part of our relationship. We have fun together, we joke around together. Like, that's also something I love about him is I can joke with him and be sarcastic, and he's never gonna get offended. But he's just so incredible. So, Dave, I love you. And that's how we'll end today's episode. See you guys next week. You made it to the end, which means you're officially one of the real ones. Don't forget to follow, leave a five star review, and text this episode to your bestie. 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