When the World Stops: Unimaginable Tragedy and Faith with Patty Williams

In this heartfelt episode, DeAnna sits down with Patty Williams who shares her powerful testimony of faith and resilience. For the first time publicly, Patty recounts the heartbreaking details of a tragic Christmas Eve car accident that claimed the lives of her two teenage sons, Paul and Aaron.

Patty shares the raw and honest reality of navigating the unthinkable—from the immediate shock on that cold, rainy afternoon to the dark, overwhelming journey of processing profound grief. She opens up about the moments when she didn't want to live and how her unwavering faith in Jesus Christ became her anchor. Ultimately, Patty discusses how she found comfort in the belief that her sons had fulfilled their earthly purpose, offering a profound look at the tangible presence of God and the comforting peace of the Holy Spirit in our darkest hours.

Whether you are navigating your own season of loss or supporting a loved one through grief, this episode is a beautiful reminder that even in our deepest trials, there are supportive people God sends to help us navigate hard times. The conversation closes with a special prayer of comfort and strength led by Patty for all those who are grieving.

In this episode:

• Meet Patty: Her background as a speech-language pathologist and raising her four children, including her youngest son who is on the autism spectrum.
• The Christmas Eve Accident: Patty’s agonizing first-hand account of the accident involving Paul and Aaron as they drove to their grandmother's house.
• Navigating the Deepest Grief: Insights into the emotional darkness of losing children and the critical decision to rely on her relationship with Christ rather than giving up.
• Finding Purpose & Peace: How Patty processed her loss, ultimately finding peace in the knowledge that her sons' souls had accomplished their God-given purpose on earth.
• A Prayer for the Grieving: Encouragement and a closing prayer for anyone walking through a difficult season of loss.

Memorable Quotes:

• "I realized their purpose here was finished... they did what they were supposed to do."
• "He has never left you... There is a plan. There are things that we need to do here."

Resources: Today's episode includes personal accounts of depression and suicidal ideation. The following United States-based resources are available for those who may be struggling or in need of support:   

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 or use the online chat to connect with a trained crisis counselor 24/7.
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a volunteer crisis counselor

Transcript

DeAnna 0:05

Hello, everyone. Thank you so much for joining us today. I'm so excited about my guest. Patty, thank you for being here today. Thank you. We met through a mutual friend, Evie. Yes. She's actually been a guest here on the podcast, and she has such a wonderful story and a wonderful testimony. She just said, I know someone that would be perfect to come on if she's willing. I prayed about it because always pray that God bring those special women as guests on the podcast.

Patty 0:31

This is something it's taken a long time to get to the place that I could openly share it. I never dreamed that I would share it publicly. We were in Nashville at the Red Letter Awards. We're all in a van, and I was telling Lacey, a friend of mine. Lacey has been on the podcast as well. Yes, Lacey has been a guest on the podcast. And Lacey was a friend of my third child. I was sharing this with her, and Evie looked like she was pondering something. And she said, Would you be on a podcast? And I thought for a moment and I said, Yes. So that's how this came about.

DeAnna 1:12

Again, I'm so thankful that you're here.

Patty 1:14

Thank you.

DeAnna 1:15

So I want you to tell our listeners a little bit about yourself.

Patty 1:18

Well, I am a speech language pathologist. I am retired now. I worked in the school for 21 years and then I did home health. I did that for about seven years, and then I decided, you know, I'm about the same age as my home health patients. I think I'll go back to the kids. And so I do contract now with the same school system that I retired from.

DeAnna 1:41

Yes.

Patty 1:42

I am married and I had four children. My oldest is a girl. She was born in 79. And then my next son was born in 83, and then 85, and then 89. The two middle ones, their names were Paul and Erin. This is kind of going to be about them. My children basically have been my life, and I have two grandchildren. They are the best thing since sliced bread. I will agree with that.

DeAnna 2:09

Yes.

Patty 2:09

That is a blessing.

DeAnna 2:10

Yes, it's a wonderful, wonderful blessing. Absolutely. Patty, please share your story with everyone.

Patty 2:16

Well, Paul had just finished his first semester at the University of Kentucky. Aaron was 17 and Paul was 19. Paul and I were extremely close. Aaron seemed to be so much closer to his daddy. He wanted to be just exactly like his daddy. But he really was turned more like me. And Paul seemed to be turned more like his father, gentle and peaceful and kind, where Aaron and I were more type A, and um the dynamics are there. I mean, it's just raising a family. Paul had spent the summer in Slovakia. We had an exchange student the year before, and so she invited him. He stayed the summer before. He came home, we got his things together, and he went to UK. So then that gave me time to get closer to Aaron. Not that we weren't close, but he really wanted to be like his dad.

DeAnna 3:11

Right.

Patty 3:11

Paul was home for Christmas, and they were having a great time being together, and then they have a little brother, and he is on the autism spectrum, but he's he's a hoot. So um that's a whole nother story. It was Christmas Eve. We were having a great morning. We had plans for the day, wrapping presents, and just we always had uh Santa Claus come, even though they were older and like my daughter was not even living at home any longer. We always had Santa come. And I have to admit, we didn't usually spend a lot of time with my mother-in-law, but I really wanted to make amends with that. And so we decided that we would go to my mother-in-law's and spend time with her and celebrate with her. And the boys, Paul and Aaron, they wanted to drive Aaron's vehicle and they wanted to go separately. Aaron was 17, he hadn't had his license. He got them the summer before. And Paul, of course, wanted to ride with him. They wanted to be together. We left pretty much the same time. And I know that the last things I said to them as they walked out the door, and I can see that this in my mind, it's like a picture of a video. And I say, be careful, and I love you. And they get in their truck, we get in our pickup truck, my husband, our youngest son, and myself, and you know, we head to my mother-in-law's. We had to stop and get gas. And so we were behind them. We're driving and we're talking, and you know, the Christmas carols are on, and it's kind of a cold, rainy day, kind of ice pellets in and out of it. Our area is in the country, it's very curvy roads. We're driving along, and an emergency vehicle, a truck with his flashers on, came around us. And I told my husband, I'm like, that that's not good. That does not look very good. So we're driving, and then there is a uh sharp curve. We stop. We can't see like beyond the curve. We stop though. We know something's going on. I had a horrible feeling, horrible. And uh my husband is military. I said, maybe you should get out and go and see if you can help who whatever's going on up there. And so he did, and our truck was still running, and our son, our youngest, was in the middle, and you know, I was just sitting there, and time went on, and it seemed like an eternity. And the thought that something really bad had happened continued in my mind. So I got out of the truck. If you kind of know, it feels like you kind of know something, but you're not thinking at the same time, because I left my younger son in the truck with it running to stay warm, thinking I'd only be there in them and back in a moment, but not really thinking at all. And there were people, and they were running back towards the downside of the hill, and I kept shouting, What is it? Who is it? We don't know, we don't know. And our community is very, very small. And I had worked in the school system in that community, and my husband was raised in that community. So more people. Who is it? Who is it? And finally, someone stops and says, It's two boys. One is dead, one has a slight pulse, and I knew who it was. And so I ran then, as hard as I could. I ran to them. I knew it was them, and yet my mind did not grasp that it was them. I kind of I am grateful to God because after that, he has blurred things so that now when I think about it, I see colors and I don't really hear sounds. I just see colors, blurry colors. But um, I remember my husband came up to me and he grabbed me on either side of my face, and there are people all around us, and so many people, it felt like. And he he put both hands on my face and he was sob he was sobbing, and he said, Patty, it's our sons, it's our boys. He said they're dead. I don't remember crying at that time. I remember in my mind thinking, that that can't be. God would not take both my boys. God would not take my boys. And I know a voice said to me, and then which would you have me take? And I don't remember where my husband went then. Someone took me to sit on the back of an ambulance, and I remember asking if they were going to take the boys to the hospital, and they didn't answer me, of course. So my husband didn't want to tell me what had gone on. A friend got us back to the truck eventually. We were there a very long time, and my husband tried to hide my head as we passed the truck, and I remember knocking him off, and I know the truck had caught fire, and so we got to my sister-in-law's house. This is also jumbled, and I'm sorry.

DeAnna 8:03

No, you were doing fine. No.

Patty 8:05

I remember sitting there. I remember someone saying that our youngest was vomiting. Again, he's on the spectrum. So when he hand he has stress, he's he's you know, that's a way he handles stress. And somebody was taking care of him. It wasn't me. I uh couldn't call any of my family because I couldn't remember their phone numbers. I remember uh a lady that I worked with came in and she sat and she rubbed my leg. I don't remember a lot other than going back home that night, and my daughter had come in to that to my sister-in-law's at some point. We got home and I didn't know what to do. So I got under the tree and I handed out gifts. We had Christmas and we all cried, and I would move their gifts over as I handed out everyone else's gifts. We went through the whole process of because you don't expect your child to die. We had to pick out caskets, of course. We had to pick out clothes. We put their presents between them. We got through that. I did so many crazy things.

DeAnna 9:12

I I cannot imagine.

Patty 9:13

When I first walked into the funeral home, I tried to get them out. My brother-in-law and my husband, one grabbed one leg and one grabbed the other one, and they moved me in a sitting position to a chair and wouldn't let me out of the chair. So I I mean, I was I was clearly not okay. So we take care of that, and my husband lost his job and was activated. He was in the National Guard and he was activated. So that left my youngest son and I at home. And I think, you know, by the grace of God, I could take care of my youngest son. And I was very angry. I did not want to live. I did not want to see anybody, I didn't want to talk to anybody. So I mowed my yard a lot. And whenever anyone would come to the front to talk to me, I would mow my yard and not get off my balone mower. I did not seek out help for a while, but it was getting bad. When I would wash dishes, I would put knives behind my back because I would think to myself, you can take care of this very quickly. You don't have to hurt anymore. So I would hide the knife behind my back as I put it in the drawer. Um, my husband finally came home and it was getting really bad. So I did start seeing a counselor and uh was in therapy. She tried to talk me into going into the hospital. I didn't want to go. I was suicidal. And one day I finally said, okay, I'll go. And I remember laying in the bed, and I wouldn't let anyone know I was there. My husband knew, of course. I didn't want anyone to know. There's such great shame with being in a hospital and being taken care of in that setting. I wanted no company, I wanted I wanted no one except my husband. A few days later, the nurse came in and she said, Are you still considering suicide? And I at that time I said, No. I wouldn't do that because that is against my Lord Jesus Christ. And so that's the first time that I could say that. We tried to go to church and I would get mad in the sermon, and I would say, give me the car keys, and he would say, My husband would say, No. I would say, give me the car keys. No. And I would leave anyway. And our friend EB eventually I came back to school and she had written a little note on a post-it note that said, No worries. And I kept that on my post-it note basket. A family came in and we were having a meeting, and they told me that I was still raw from everything. Yeah, from everything. She told me that she had seen it, and we had not seen it. We had been a little bit behind. So I got through the meeting and uh got down the hallway. I broke down. Two teachers carried me into a classroom. There were no children around, and they took me home that day, and I I stayed home until I had healed enough to work. And that may have come before me deciding to go to therapy. I mean, yeah, obviously I needed it. But I just want I want them to be remembered. But I always remember about Aaron when he went to the altar. And when Aaron went to the altar, the minister prayed with him and prayed that he would lead people to God and that he would be used in a ministry. And Paul had been saved and baptized too.

DeAnna 12:31

I've never experienced anything like that, and I can't even imagine. What I do understand is that people handle grief differently.

Patty 12:39

Yes, very much so.

DeAnna 12:40

And you've lost your boys, your those were your babies, and you you lost both of them at the same time, and you're here. Yes, and you're talking about it. Yes. That's a huge testimony from the strength I believe that God's giving you to be able to share.

Patty 12:56

Yes. And and it it does come from God because I didn't talk about it, I didn't elaborate, I couldn't, because all I could do was cry.

DeAnna 13:06

You know, it broke my heart. I've never experienced what you've experienced, but I've I've experienced loss in a different way. And you just don't know how to handle it. No, you just you don't know. And even though we serve a mighty God, you don't know how to handle it. You don't know what you're supposed to do. You're in a a place of darkness. Yes, very, very dark, very dark place, very deep holes. And I know, like, even going through the things that I have been through, which is nothing compared to what you have. I was just such in a dark place. And it's like, okay, Lord, well, what do I do?

Patty 13:41

But I couldn't even talk to him.

DeAnna 13:43

I couldn't, I was so mad. I was so angry. And so you were, if you can't talk to God, like you're completely just in the abyss almost. Like he just Yes, and that's perfect, a perfect word. You just don't know where to go, where to turn, where am I gonna land. So when you went through the therapy, do you feel like at some point during that time that you were able to finally kind of like talk to God? Actually, yes.

Patty 14:10

Um, my daughter is married to a wonderful, wonderful man, and his father is a minister. So my son-in-law and his friend, and my daughter and and his friend's wife had a group they called Spirit University. And they did that for several years. They had uh groups come and sing, and we had our granddaughter by then, and so they wanted us to bring our granddaughter to Spirit University, which meant that I had to go to Spirit University. I had to sit and listen to what the presenters were saying and singing about. I think that their idea was to bring the youth to God. And of course, Ebbie, again, she was involved in that as well. Um her and her husband. But um, I didn't want to go. But as I sat there and I listened to them talk and that presenter, it was like my heart melted. And it was a time where I could ask for help and forgiveness. And I'm not perfect. I ask for forgiveness every single day.

DeAnna 15:16

Oh, I do too. Every time that I pray, Lord, forgive me of all my sins so that I come before you with a pure heart, because you know, we sin all the time. The Bible tells us that we fall short of the glory of God, and so you felt like your heart was melting. I felt better.

Patty 15:30

This has been such a long process. I did ask for forgiveness, and I did want more, and I was able to go to church and I was able to stay there through a sermon.

DeAnna 15:42

So without one of those, give me the keys so I can go.

Patty 15:45

No more, give me the keys. I think there was a verse and it spoke to me, and I've thought so much about this. My thoughts are not your thoughts, my ways are not your ways. And so I'm like, okay, I understand that. And the more that I thought about it, and the more I processed it, and the more that I prayed about it, I realized their purpose here was finished. They came, they did what they were supposed to do. Their souls were old anyway. They were alive long before they came to this earth, and it was their time to go. It wasn't my fault, right? It wasn't anything that I did or didn't do or should have done. Right. It wasn't anything that could have stopped it because it was their time to go. God knows. He knows.

DeAnna 16:36

And he knows the end, he knows the beginning, and he knows the in-between.

Patty 16:40

Right. So then that means that there must be something I'm supposed to learn from that.

DeAnna 16:47

Was there anything that really resonated with you through that that God showed you or that he revealed to you?

Patty 16:53

One of the things is that when like when you say, you know, I haven't been through the grief you have. I think we all have lessons that we're supposed to learn based upon our needs and and what we are supposed to know or become aware of, what he uses us for.

DeAnna 17:10

Right.

Patty 17:11

And so my grief is no bigger or worse than your grief. Wow. Because we all hurt. Yes, we do. And there is no scale there. We all hurt. And so we all lose people that we love. Right. We're not ready for them to go. No. He has blessed me beyond belief to be able to have the family. I always wanted a big family. And he has blessed me beyond belief to have the husband that I'm married to, and to have those four children and two grandchildren and friends, and you know, at one time I was ready to end that life. There are lots of coal trucks where we live. Coal trucks would come toward me, and I would think, just one quick turn of that wheel. That's all you need to do. But my baby son would be in the car with me. So that stopped that. I'm just so grateful that he still stuck with me.

DeAnna 18:06

God knew everything and he didn't leave you, even though you felt like he had left you. Right. He was still there loving you, caring for you, even though you you couldn't feel that, you couldn't see it. Do you feel like with what happened with your son's pitch strengthened your family? That's a really good question.

Patty 18:22

And I think at this point we're stronger. There were times, there were hard times. My husband, men handle things differently than women do. They do. We're emotional beings. Yes. And I'm typically very talkative about whatever he's not. Right. But yeah, we are very close. We can actually start to enjoy life and be thankful for what we have been given and what we are able to experience. We love the outer banks. We love to go to the beach. My husband wants to go to Alaska, but it's cold and I hate the cold.

DeAnna 18:55

And I we just learned that you are going to Scotland soon. Damn it. And we just returned from Scotland, and it is the most beautiful place that I've ever been. The people are so friendly and they're so kind. Of course, you can tell by my accent that I'm definitely from the south. They really liked my accent. And I had one young lady tell me, she said, Oh, your accent sounds like a warm bug. Oh, that's lovely. I thought, oh my gosh, thank you. I'm so glad that you're gonna get to go and be blessed by everything that God's gonna show you while you're there. And I know you're gonna have a great time there.

Patty 19:26

Thank you. You know, we've had some other things come around and we're better able to handle those things, I think.

DeAnna 19:32

That was a very dark valley, but now you're closer to the mountaintop.

Patty 19:36

And you know, God put so many people in place for us at that time while my husband was activated. He wasn't far from home. He was only in like Fort Campbell, and we live, of course, in Kentucky. He wasn't far from us, but his brother was also there with him and friends that he had been in the guard with for a long time. So he had that support system. And then I had friends in um from school, and they would come out and they would try to get me to go out of the house. And you don't see that at the time. You don't want that.

DeAnna 20:13

You don't you just want to be left alone.

Patty 20:15

Yeah. You just like leave me alone, don't bother me. I'm in misery, I'm gonna stay in misery forever.

DeAnna 20:21

I'm in misery. Let me just let me be in my misery. Let me have my misery, just let me have that. Okay. And it feels good, it's warm. I'm gonna just sit here. Leave me alone, just let me be. Go away, just let me have my space, get out of my bubble. Just gonna sit here and be miserable.

Patty 20:37

Yeah, right. I don't know how our youngest was, you know, cared for, but somehow we still made it through and I still took care of him. And I had a beautiful flower bed that year. I mean, I you know, there lots of growing flowers because I spent all the time on the yard. So I I don't know.

DeAnna 20:56

I I just feel very honored to be there, their mom. And you had them for 17 years and 19 years, and you got to have so many firsts with them and so many moments. There's so many people out there that never get that opportunity. Never get that opportunity. And you were able to have those. And I know that's not a consolation, but to have that, that is a blessing.

Patty 21:16

And what is so interesting, my father-in-law and I, and and Aaron, and then my youngest, just a few days before Christmas, we had gone up to this store and we were shopping and on the way, and we were just talking, you know, and we had actually lost another student in the high school just a couple of weeks before. All of us were like, oh, I don't know how our parents are taking that, I don't know how they stand that. I don't know how they're doing it, and it's so awful. But I was I remember telling my father in law, and he was such a good Christian. He was such a good Christian. I remember saying, I feel a heaviness. I can't describe it. I don't know, I don't understand what it is. The entire time my Aaron is back there eating this humongous sand. Ham sandwich and he loved he loved to eat. He ate all the time. I'm like, it's just it's weighing on me. It's so heavy. And my father-in-law said, I feel the same way. I've been feeling that. And I said, I don't know what it is. I just feel like it's really bad. And then just days later, this happened. And I I don't know if that was God kind of like kind of giving you a little bit of a I don't know. If that I don't I I don't know. I yeah. I just know that both my father-in-law and I had that same feeling of foreboding, I guess, of something coming.

DeAnna 22:34

Do you feel like looking back that you have a better I don't know if if understanding is a good word, but this happened and this was God's purpose and this is his plan. And I don't understand because of the way that it happened, but it did, and I have to trust him because we may not ever know why things happen. God may give us revelation and then he may just decide to conceal it, and then we just have to trust him with the plan, even though we don't understand.

Patty 22:58

I've thought a lot about it, and I don't know that it is about understanding. I really go back to it is his plan. He knew it was their time to go. I don't have to blame myself. No, no, I'm not at fault. I would pray, I would want the Holy Spirit, and I would think, oh, wait a minute, I'm gonna have to give everything to God. If I give everything to God, what if he takes another one of them away?

DeAnna 23:25

That's hard.

Patty 23:26

Yeah.

DeAnna 23:26

That's really hard. I can relate to that. But at this point, it's all his anyway. It is, and you have to just trust him that no matter what he decides to do, you have to just put every bit of confidence and every bit of trust in him.

Patty 23:40

Yes.

DeAnna 23:41

To know that he has a perfect plan, even when we don't understand. If you don't do that, what do you have? You don't have anything. You have no peace.

Patty 23:49

You don't have peace. And for a long time I went around. I remember we went on a field trip and um it was to another denomination and was out in the country. And I remember asking one of the other ladies, I'm like, Do you have peace with this lifestyle? And she kind of looked at me like I was really strange, but it was like I was constantly searching for peace within myself. And the only way that I get peace is through him.

DeAnna 24:18

Because the word says that his peace surpasses all understanding. Yeah. And that's I mean, that's so true.

Patty 24:24

I mean, that's when you have peace.

DeAnna 24:26

Do you feel like you're stronger with everything that's happened? That do you feel like God just has given you a different version of you?

Patty 24:34

I do feel like I've had like a rebirth because after Spirit University, I had my son-in-law pray with me to be saved again. Because I felt like, well, I went to Spirit University and I asked for forgiveness, but that's not enough. I'm still not forgiven. So okay, now I'm having my son-in-law pray with me.

DeAnna 24:51

And you just want to make sure that you're like completely right now. I'm gonna have his father pray with me too. I'm gonna make sure I wouldn't make triple sure.

Patty 24:59

I'm gonna make sure. Okay, I'm anybody else, someone else pray for me. And like you said earlier about how you want to come to God in purity, you should see me before communion. I will pray so hard to make sure that I am good enough to take communion.

DeAnna 25:19

I know. Communion to me is it's very sacred. And so when I take it, I know that I'm I'm partaking in something that is part of Christ. Yes.

Patty 25:28

We took communion once, and my grandson was on this side, and my granddaughter was on this side. And he said, What is this? And I said, Well, this juice represents the blood of Jesus. He was little and he just kind of looked at me and and I said, and this represents his body, and what we're doing is and I'm blah, blah, blah, all this. And he looks just frightened and like, why are we? What's going on? I don't want this. And my granddaughter, she's eight years older than he is, and she said, It's grape juice and it's a cracker, just go ahead and eat it.

DeAnna 26:00

And then he would, but I was like scaring him to death and like this is really how what it is. Yeah, yeah. I would so your son, your youngest son, he said it's on the autism. He's on the autism side. So, how how did you sit down and kind of explain when his brothers passed? How did he process it? How did he handle that?

Patty 26:18

You know, I I really don't know. I um when we had our youngest, and he didn't talk until he was four, four and a half, maybe even five. And we started taking him to doctors everywhere because I wanted him fixed. I didn't know what pervasive developmental delay was or anything like that. Right, right. And I took all the kids with me. We he'd have speech and OT at school and we'd go somewhere and he'd have speech and OT. But he is the most beautiful young man and the kindest young man. And funny, you know, I don't want to say he saved my life, but he was always in my mind, I have to take care of him. And so sometimes throughout the whole process of it.

DeAnna 27:04

Throughout the whole process, yeah, I have to take care of him. So maybe God just lets him have a peace. You just you never know how God can take care of that, you know.

Patty 27:14

I think sometimes he's afraid that he'll make me cry. But we have days where, like if we're cleaning or if we're doing something, um, we'll have days where he wants to play music that Paul liked, and then we'll go back and we'll because you have to be even on them. Then we'll play music Aaron liked.

DeAnna 27:35

So um and he talks about them. Oh, that's good. Your spirit is so pleasant while I've been sitting here listening to you. All I keep thinking about is that you are a very strong woman.

Patty 27:45

Thank you.

DeAnna 27:46

To see what has happened in your life and for you to be sitting here with me. And you're beautiful, by the way. Let me just let everybody out there. She's a gorgeous lady. I feel your strength, and God has given you amazing strength to be able to share this story.

Patty 27:59

Thank you.

DeAnna 28:00

But I'm just, I'm just plain Jane, just Patty. I'm not You're not a plain Jane for sure. For sure.

Patty 28:07

I'm just me. I'm not any different than anybody else. And most of the time I'm questioning myself.

DeAnna 28:13

But those are things that we do as humans anyway. We're gonna question what we do. I think sometimes we just don't give ourselves enough credit. I'm just grateful that the Lord He sees something different in me than I see in myself. Yes. But I want you to leave us with some wisdom for someone who is going through what you've been through in whatever capacity that might be, if it's an instant loss like you had, or if it's a loss that they know is coming, what words of wisdom would you leave them to maybe ponder and to think about that might help them in what they're dealing with?

Patty 28:46

I think that everybody grieves differently and and they go through that process in so many different ways. I know what helped me, first of all, know that God is with you. He has never left you. The person, your child, your parent, your sibling, your spouse, he's with them too. There is a plan, there are things that we need to do here, there are people we need to touch, there are lives that we need to change, maybe. And when we're finished, when his plan is finished, then our job is finished. That's okay. That's a beautiful thing, actually. And that's hard to grasp right now, and it hurts, and it's okay to hurt, and it's okay to cry, and it's okay to be unsure. If you need help, it's okay to go to counseling, it's okay to talk to someone, it's okay to take a journal, write down your every thought, and you will get through it, you will come out stronger. And I know that when I pray, I always ask God to please me with those who have lost their children, who have lost their loved one, their spouse, their sibling. God lives inside us, giving us the power and the joy that we need to keep going. Life was never meant to be easy, but we are never alone. Our Father carries us through the very things that we fear the most, the unimaginable. We always come out the other side closer to him. And he blesses us with supportive people who help us navigate these hard times until we are safely back in his arms.

DeAnna 30:29

I think those are great words of wisdom. I think those are really good words. Uh my heart just absolutely goes out to you, and you are definitely again a tower of strength. Whether you see yourself that way or not, I'm telling you, hearing your story and know where you've been and where you are now is just the strength is amazing. It's just a testimony to who God is and how he, even in those times of grief and the times of loss, he's still faithful.

Patty 30:57

Absolutely.

DeAnna 30:58

He is still faithful. Even when we can't pick ourselves up, he is there. Yes. And he's got his hand upon us. Yes, he's loving us. We'll get to the other side of it. Yes. And then you start a new chapter.

Patty 31:11

And then when I think of my boys, look where they are now. Would I want them back? No.

DeAnna 31:18

They're they're exactly where they should be. And although you miss them terribly, yes. There's a piece of knowing where they are. Your boys are in heaven and they're seeing things that we're gonna say someday. That's right. They're already like they're probably doing all kinds of fun things up in heaven, I'm telling you. Right. Do you mind praying for our listeners, especially those that are kind of dealing with the same thing?

Patty 31:41

Father God, in heaven, we come to you this day. We are so thankful for this time and being able to tell our story of Paul and Aaron. Lord, we long for you in our hearts and in our souls and in our spirits. We long for your Holy Spirit to pour over us and anyone who is listening to this podcast. God, it is so hard, and you know that. You know everything about us. Yes, you know every emotion and every feeling that we have, Lord, when we lose someone because you created us, God. And Father, I just pray that if anyone is listening to this and they have lost a loved one, yes, and they have lost their child or their wife or husband, their spouse, their sibling, whomever it may be, that is so hard, God, and you know that. And Father, I pray your blessing over them. I pray peace over them, Lord. I pray your Holy Spirit over them, God to comfort them and strengthen them and let them know that whatever they're feeling, you're there, Lord. Yes, Lord. And God in heaven, I pray that you would just hold us close to you, God, for whatever trials that we may go through. Yes, Lord. And God, you have given us such beauty in this world, and we are so thankful for it, Lord. And we are so thankful for your presence and your spirit and the people you send to us, Lord. And God, we just pray that you be with us at all times, Lord. We love you so much. And Father God, we just praise you in your son's name. Amen.

DeAnna 33:09

Amen. Well, Patty, thank you so much for being here. Thank you. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for opening up your heart, and thank you for just allowing everyone to hear this story. Thank you, listeners, and we'll see you soon. God bless.