Casablanca w/ Sara Rose Caplan

Jude and Jordan welcome the incredible Sara Rose Caplan to chat about Casablanca.

And the audio was goofy - so what you get is a few interesting facts about history, the pitches, and a game.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey everyone, just wanted to jump on and say thank you so much for listening. It means so much. Episodes are going to be coming out on Thursdays now. It just works better for me. And this episode is going to be a little bit strange and abridged. We had a great chat with Sarah Rose Kaplan, the incredible intelligent comedian. And we talked about so many cool things, some very, you know, tough things to talk about, how Canada is becoming kind of a Casablanca for uh trans refugees from the United States as they seek to escape the unjust laws and system that are stripping their rights away. I just want to say trans rights are human rights. Um that's that. Um we had so many fun little bits and talks. Uh I kept in some parts that I think are just like super interesting or fun. I kept in the pitches, of course, and I kept in my uh game at the end. Um Sarah's audio is just like really clicky and poppy. It it's pretty jarring at first, but especially after editing it for like four hours. Um I got used to it, so maybe you will. Um either way, I think it's a valuable listen. I think it's a fun listen. It's pretty quick, and then we will be giving you the Casablanca script next week. So um thank you so much for listening, and thank you, Sarah, so much. Uh, we'll have her on again soon, and then uh you can experience her in the complete uh fantastic audio that I know she is capable of. Hey, Sarah, if you're out there, I believe in you. Anyway, enjoy the show.

SPEAKER_02 1:42

This might be a bad time to admit I've not seen movies. Oh, that's fine. That's good. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

That's alright.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

I did prep for the videos, though, because I I knew you said we would. I I I did some prep.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

I read the Wikipedia for Casablanca.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

I had Chachi PT summarize it for me.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

Okay, good, good, good, good, good.

SPEAKER_00 2:09

I'm so glad you asked that question, Sarah. Uh, that's actually the best movie to like.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

Hey everyone. Welcome back to Fortnite. This season, the island enters a new setting, inspired by the 1942 romantic drama Casablanca. Drop into a neutral zone at the edge of conflict, where every player arrives with a past, and every match is a chance to decide what you stand for. The Rick Blaine outfit is available now, featuring a classic cafe ready look and his timeless trench coat. Switch between cynical proprietor and reluctant idealist at any time in your locker. The Ilsta Lund outfit also joins the item shop, offering her indelible style to players navigating uncertain alliances. The Germans wore grey, you can wear blue, white, green, purple, neon, whatever you like. The choices are endless. Whether you're looting, taking fights, or choosing when to walk away, every match presents meaningful decisions. Build your loadout, form temporary alliances, and prepare for moments that may not last, but have a lasting impact. We'll always have Tomato Town. And finally, express yourself with the as time goes by emote. Only on Battle Pass. The Catsablanca set is available now in the item shop for a limited time. And remember, the island is waiting.

SPEAKER_03 3:54

Lava chip and job and bold shh.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

To me, bergamot tastes like black pepper. And I was like twenty-four when I realized that like Earl Grey tea, other people thought it was like refreshingly citrusy. And I'd I didn't even know bergamot was like a a a fruit. I literally thought Earl Grey tea was tea plus black pepper, and I never understood why people drank it.

SPEAKER_00 4:29

Uh my my 23andMe back and said that I had the cilantro gene, uh, but I never had a problem eating cilantro, and like to this day I don't. So I'm wondering, like, maybe I just like the way that soap tastes, or they mixed up my 23andMe.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

Welcome to Squeakels, it's a sequel podcast. It's also a lifestyle podcast. Uh, we believe that every movie deserves a sequel. We believe in the all-powerful voice, and we also believe that it is within each individual's power to gump up to the max. And when we do gump up to the max, we join the collective gump movement. Um, and together uh with uh uh a collective gump and a fulcrum large enough, we can move the world. Jude, how are you today?

SPEAKER_00 5:17

I'm very good. Uh I woke up this morning uh fully devoted to reaching the uh fourth level of gumpification, uh being completely clear, uh, understanding that with a clear mind and complete ignorance, I will be able to conquer uh society.

SPEAKER_01 5:39

Fantastic. Thank you. Um today with us we have Sarah Rose Kaplan. Thank you, Sarah, so much for joining us.

SPEAKER_02 5:47

Ahoy.

SPEAKER_01 5:48

Ahoy. Um Sarah is a trans comedian and philosophy grad student who stands locked in eternal combat with Tnuthi, the anti-goddess of flame. Tell us a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

Yeah, it's getting old. I'm gonna be honest with you.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

Um it's eternal, it sounds.

SPEAKER_02 6:04

Yeah, yeah, which I did I underestimated when I signed the contract initially. Um first I do want to correct your pronunciation. Very close, but it's not a th, it's an aspirated tea. It's tenuti. Um, tenuti. Yeah, and look, she's my arch nemesis, and I hate her, and I I hope forever to dissolve her into true void, but um I I do want to make sure people get her name right. Um it's it's okay.

SPEAKER_01 6:32

Like it's a job. Could you just quickly help us um and define the difference between like an anti-goddess and say a demon or or devil?

SPEAKER_02 6:42

Oh, sure, yeah. Demons and devils don't exist. So that's one big difference. All right, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

I was watching somebody talk about um the insidious nature of AI and how, like, yeah, of course, it sucks for the job market on all these things, but the worst thing about it is that it makes like a fascist police state, uh, a totalitarian regime, that much cheaper to run um with facial recognition technology and all this, because one of the hardest things about running a authoritarian state was well, you need to have a constant surveillance and police force and all of these things that are are actually functioning. And now, if you're not paying people to do that, but rather some like AI network is mostly taking care of that for you. Yeah, that's the actual scariest bit about it.

SPEAKER_02 7:35

Someone posts a TikTok from Rick's place and you know gets a two-second clip of Victor Laszlo in it, and then like he's been arrested that night.

SPEAKER_00 7:45

Yeah, yeah, or the or like uh the your Palantir partyful act uh picked up that like Le Mar Le Marseille was being played at like a very loud volume, uh, and therefore uh you know the drones have been activated. That actually was a scary thought. I was like, oh, this is like such like especially like when they're playing like the French national anthem over the you know whatever like Nazi jig that they were singing. Um I was just thinking like, wow, like that's like such a great like moment of uh you know resistance, and I'm like, I wonder if like people would be like more scared to do that now because they think that all like everyone has a microphone recording what they're doing at all times.

SPEAKER_02 8:25

Yeah, I mean it changes shit. It does. Can I tell you all a fun little Nazi jig tidbit? Yes. Of course. Are you familiar with the song um that goes?

SPEAKER_01 8:40

Classic circus theme?

SPEAKER_02 8:42

It's yeah, it's it's now mostly associated with circuses and clown clowns. It's called The March of Gladiators, and written in the 1800s. I just looked this up to get sure the guy's name right, Julius Fluchik. Uh or Futzik. And he wrote it to show out there's like a new trumpet technology where now trumpet valves could move a lot faster than they could before. So you now you could do these chromatic scales like remarkably fast. So ta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Like you couldn't do that before, but now you could. Um anyway, uh there's this Nazi guy who ran one of the concentration camps who loved that song and like thought it was like a badass military march, and had a band of like concentration camp victims, like a Jewish like victim band, and he would make them play that song every morning when the SS and like the concentration camp guards rolled in for work, they would have to like play that song for them as they came in. And that's just a thing that happened in history. That like one of these concentration camps, all these fucking Nazis were coming in to the fucking clown song. And I don't know what to do with that information. It it's just a thing that happened. Um and now you know what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

When you talk about the fetishization that still is kind of pervasive in our media, and and it does give Nazis this kind of like glossy veneer to this horrific history. Do you think it would be better if we started to demystify it or like de um sexualize it in a way by playing the clown theme song as they're marching?

SPEAKER_02 10:25

And like I think that a video that video of the ice guy slipping on on ice in Minnesota did more damage to the Trump administration than like any podcast episode ever has.

SPEAKER_01 10:40

Um well, let's just picture you know Rick and Captain Renault walking into you know that foggy airfield, um, and and and picture perhaps the future that these two share together as we step into our pitch room. Yeah, so Sarah, why don't you give us pitch number one?

SPEAKER_02 10:58

So pitch number one, I feel like is the pitch that the movie sets up. I mean it's right there. So, like I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship. Boom, Casablanca too, colon, a beautiful friendship. And uh it's just like kind of a buddy cop comedy. Um, uh Odd Couple, Fish Out of Water, uh Turner and Hooch, a Starsky and Hutch, sort of uh the other guys, um a Herald and Maud, sort of um that's all the movies I know that have two people in name in them. Um and I think what are they gonna do? They they don't like they don't make it clear what it is that they really have to do, right?

SPEAKER_01 11:42

They gotta get all the Nazis out of Morocco, maybe, but I think Well they say they're they say they're going back to France, right? Because they're he's like, You're no longer going to be welcome here in Casablanca Rick, and then he's like, Why don't you come with me? And then they they I think they're traveling back to France together.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

I I thought I was under the impression they were just going to like another like special area like uh Casablanca like like Dubai or something. You know, like a like a safe haven in between. Um but I like this as like a broad comedy, they should just have like an animal friend uh with them in their own.

SPEAKER_02 12:19

Yeah, I think I don't think they're going back to France personally. I th I think they're going east across North Africa in the search for a new place to set up a new rigs. And I I think it's really it's like a Harold and Kumar kind of thing. This is a dude wears my car. This is just a s a cavalcade of of it's almost like an anthology of little sketches. Um all the shit that they run into, like what's happening in Algiers, uh they you know what's what's what's going on in Tunisia, like what happens, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:50

Like what's the monkey friend that they get a little monkey friend. They they meet a mummy in Alexandria, they're gonna reopen the library. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 13:01

I yeah, and then uh you know, Neil, you know what? Neil Patrick Harris is there, and yet again he's straight. And um I'm actually thinking this should just be Harold and Kumar. Um just Harold and Kumar starring Hungry Bogart and uh Renault.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

I I love this, it it also because it's you're talking about this kind of like short vignette kind of anthology style to it. I think it follows in this tradition of these like um French road trip buddy sex comedies too. And we know that both these guys love to fuck.

SPEAKER_02 13:37

They love to fuck.

SPEAKER_01 13:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

So I think like they have a destination in mind, like they're trying to get to pick a place on a map, they want to go to Timbuktu. Like, that's where the next Rix Rick's two is gonna be in Timbuktu in Casablanca too. And they're just trying to get there. And boys boy howdy is it just unnecessarily difficult.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

Think of all the extremist groups they could meet along the way in that area too. Like they could meet like a young Qaddafi. That's yeah, it's it's fun. That that we could have cameos, we could have dead dictators.

SPEAKER_02 14:09

Yeah, there's like a young like Albert Camus. I mean, Camus is like uh you know, uh an Algerian-born French resistance journalist at this time. They pick up heroin and run into him. Yeah, like what the fuck's going on with Camus? Like he's probably fucking nuts, so yeah, heroin. Who else is out there? Uh I mean the Unglorious Bastards, maybe they're there. Um this is good.

SPEAKER_01 14:34

This is very, very good. I love uh, you know, I we I always appreciate just us having like a nice direct sequel um, you know, in in the roster. Uh, what do you have for pitch two?

SPEAKER_02 14:48

Okay, pitch two is um this is this is not a real pitch. This is just another title I feel like the movie wanted uh Here's Looking at Two Kid. And I don't have anything for that, um, but I did have to say it because it's on my note.

SPEAKER_01 15:05

Is it is it in your thing in your official? No, it's not.

SPEAKER_02 15:08

I just it's I wanted you to hear it.

SPEAKER_01 15:10

We'll just do a short on it then. Maybe um when they get to America, Ilsa realizes that she has twins by way of Rick, and it's like three men and a little baby, but it's like Victor Laszlo, Ilsa, and two of Rick's kids.

SPEAKER_02 15:27

Or maybe like she doesn't know, it's like uncertain paternity. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 15:31

Yeah, at that time that would be super common and uh I think you know, shameful for them, so they would have to go live with like aunts or something. Um maybe like getting the twins back, figuring out whose kids they are, and maybe kind of a situation where just you know, like maybe Rick and Laszlo are both the daddies.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:53

And maybe they have to enter into some co-parenting situation.

SPEAKER_02 15:56

Maybe it turns out the whole time like Laszlo knew they couldn't have been his because he I assume suffered some horrendous shit in the concentration camps, and maybe he has reason to suspect he's uh no longer fertile. He's got a Laszlo sperm count. He does, yeah, exactly. That's that's exactly what he has. And maybe that's kind of revealed at the end, like, hey, that's they're my kids because they're your kids and because we're raising them, you know? It's like I don't care about my genes.

SPEAKER_00 16:27

This if this movie doesn't have uh fucking um Adrian Brody in it, that's a huge missed opportunity. He like belongs the reason for Adrian Brody. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:38

Um and in following in the misogynist tradition of the film, maybe when Laszlo like realizes that Rick's kids, he can be like send her back to Rick and be like, you should really be with him. I'm making this decision for you now.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

Yeah, I've done all the thinking. Um yeah. So that that's yours looking at two kid. Uh it's fine. Um, okay. We have Casablanca 2. We no longer have Paris. Alternate title, Paris is burning. If you want to take it in more of a voguing direction. Yes. I was thinking more like Independence Day, Paris is blown up um by aliens.

SPEAKER_01 17:24

Now Earth. What if it's yeah, what if it's like a district nine where Earth is kind of like a refugee camp for wayward aliens? It's not bad, you know. You've got like that Space Ricks.

SPEAKER_02 17:37

Yeah, like Rix Rick's is now yeah, it's like a the fucking whatever Cantina.

SPEAKER_01 17:42

Can I tell you something about the actually the Moss Ice Lee Cantina song?

SPEAKER_00 17:46

Yeah. That was that was actually written in Buchenwald. Was it actually written in Buchanwald?

unknown 17:53

No.

SPEAKER_02 17:54

Or were you referencing my Nazi jigtail from earlier?

SPEAKER_01 17:57

That's what was happening.

SPEAKER_02 17:59

Okay, but my Nazi jigtail was true. Are you lying to me or is this true? Was it written in Buchenwald?

SPEAKER_01 18:08

I would have to ask George Lucas where all that jizz actually was composed.

SPEAKER_00 18:15

God, this concentration camp sucks, but honestly, this Cantina song is kinda getting me.

SPEAKER_02 18:23

Um, yeah, that's true. I believe I'm choosing to believe you. Thank you. I'm gonna tell people this. Next time I'm a guest on a podcast, I'm gonna use this as a fun fact.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

You know what? Based on your current performance, Sarah, I have no idea what the fuck you're gonna say to somebody else on another podcast.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

I'm just gonna be honest with them. I'm just gonna tell the podcast the truth. As you should. As you should. Actually, you know what's you know what? Uh, I do know. Do you know the Snake Charmer song? That one. Yes, that was written for the Chicago World's Fair because uh some guy had to write uh an African-sounding song, but he was like a a Jewish guy. So I I knew that and I was like, that's not interesting enough to say, so don't say it. That's fascinating. It is fascinating, but that one is not the same. It doesn't have the same ground. There's a place in France. You could see the girls in their underpants. No, I know. How did it become that? Well, the guy was also a famous pervert. Oh, he wrote the lyrics. Yeah, yeah, he wrote the song music and lyrics. Well, no, it was like a Lennon McCartney there there's a it was a Lennon McCartney situation where like one guy was just writing all the music for the World's Fair and the other guy was just writing kind of pervy lyrics.

SPEAKER_02 19:44

Well, I hope that place in France where the naked ladies dance wasn't in Paris because we no longer have Paris. Paris was destroyed. Uh there's a lot of space refugees now at Rix. And I think the plot of this one is it's a bunch of space refugees who are trying to get to the United States, and then at the start of um Casablanca 2, we no longer have Paris. Probably sort of a CD alien criminal gives him a couple of um passes. Glorobot. Glorobot gives him some free transfer passes that don't have any like names on them, so they're very valuable. Then maybe he dies and then Rick just has them. You know?

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Yeah. Um can the passes be like um like trans-dimensional crystals?

SPEAKER_00 20:40

Sure, yeah, it doesn't matter what they are. Um Okay, go. Do they do they smell bad? What color are they?

SPEAKER_02 20:47

Uh they are there's they're sort of holographic, uh pink to green, and you can't smell them. Um because unless you want to make this a 4D film. Um I think.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

Yeah, I think at the time when this is gonna be relevant, 4D film will be all the roach.

SPEAKER_02 21:06

I have invested all of my parents' money in it, so I hope so.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

Um I heard porn porn is going 4D, so that means it is the way of the future. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

Well it depends on what genre you're watching, so 4D, 2D, 0D for some people. Um I I think maybe then he's at his bar and he hears Sam playing a song and he hates it. Uh maybe it's the most Leslie Cantina song. And he says, I told you never to play that song, and then he sees who else but his ex the alien ali Alien Elsa Ilsa. And she's there. Uh and it turns out she's there with her husband, um, Alien Laszlo. Who's been kept by the space Nazis in a concentration camp.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

So really what we're talking about here is just kind of a one-to-one mapping of the case.

SPEAKER_02 22:04

It's sort of like a sort of like an episode uh seven kind of situation.

SPEAKER_01 22:09

Yeah. Just imagine it in space.

SPEAKER_02 22:11

Yeah. Yeah, this is sort of the um the twenty like twenty nineteen reboot.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:18

Like they're not taking any risks.

unknown 22:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:21

This is like kind of like when Jude just rewrote the departed as it taking place in nineteen or seventeen seventy-six Boston.

SPEAKER_00 22:29

That was great, though, because Benedict Arnold was the bad guy because he was the the traitor, famously. That's quite good. That's nice.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

Um, I actually don't mind this at all. I wa if if we choose it, I'd love to discuss it a little further, but because it's mostly a mapping of one onto the other, um, I think I think we don't need to let it jestate in this moment too much longer. Uh, what would your third pitch be?

SPEAKER_02 22:57

This is sort of my more out there pitch, and I'm gonna need your help figuring out what this film is, but the title spoke to me. Uh Casablanca 2. Rick and the Hill of Beans.

SPEAKER_00 23:10

Yeah. Oh fuck yeah. Okay. Yes. Yeah, that that one got me too, because I was like, oh, this is the most important part of the movie. Pay attention. And he's like, he says Hill of Beans. He says Hill of Beans. And I'm like, I can't get off that. I can't just fucking let that one go.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

No. I need to know more.

SPEAKER_00 23:29

So does this happen when he was like a kid? Something happens to him with Oh, it could be a prequel?

SPEAKER_02 23:33

Like, what's his backstory with the Hill of Beans? Is this something he has to return to? Like it could be like an El Dorado thing. Um It's rumored somewhere, somewhere south of the Sahara, you can find the Hill of Beans.

SPEAKER_00 23:51

Some say it's just a a visionary hallucination, but others say that it is an oasis.

SPEAKER_02 23:58

Yeah. Um Yeah, but I didn't really have a clear direction for it, so what what do you all think? What would that be?

SPEAKER_01 24:05

I mean, I love because uh in in reference in the film, it is kind of this dismissive term, like uh our problems are nothing but a hill of beans. So if it is like this mystical thing, it would I would imagine it as a prequel, and in the El Dorado sense, it's like he it's this journey that takes him somewhere and he learns a lot along the way, but when he arrives there, it's a hill of beans.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

I like that. It's it's like a dis a disappointment for him.

SPEAKER_01 24:37

Yes. Um but if we're looking at in the future sense, maybe the making like a mountain out of a molehill thing is like he was dismissive of it, and then he realizes that like a hill of beans is the greatest um challenge that one could take.

SPEAKER_00 24:55

Oh, like a toothpick bridge building contest?

SPEAKER_01 24:58

Yeah, or like um eating, you know, however many hard-boiled eggs, like from cool hand Luke. He like enters a bean a bean-eating competition.

SPEAKER_00 25:10

Late that's what he becomes. He's like, Oh, I let the love of my life go off for the greater values, and I'm gonna enter like food eating challenges the kobayashi of North Africa. Yeah, yeah. He's like, How much fucking hummus can I eat? Yeah, that's fun.

SPEAKER_02 25:26

Oh, when you describe it as a as a kid's movie, I start seeing like a classic like roll doll film like James and the Giant Peach stop motion style. And like, maybe it like was a normal hill of beans, but because he's freaking out about it, it grows and grows and and becomes like he's making the mountain out of the molehill.

SPEAKER_00 25:45

And it's a great opportunity for Peter Laurie to come back too, because he's a hideous freak. He could be one of the the animal friends.

SPEAKER_02 25:52

I think all the character all the actors come back to play these like little animals, bugs that are in the hill of beans. Maybe like the hill beans starts growing out of control and it's gonna like crush his little town, wherever he grew up, probably in Nebraska, and like the resolution has to be, he has to learn that like he's escalated everything way too far, and like he's he's gotten carried away. This thing doesn't really matter that much. And as he's able, like the more he's able to convince himself that this thing he's catastrophized is actually not as big an issue as he thinks, but the hilla beans shrinks smaller and smaller and smaller until it's just the dinner he refused to eat at Aunt Girdle's house. That's good.

SPEAKER_01 26:36

I I really love this. I love this metaphor style storytelling. Um it does, it is very rolled rolled doll.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

I feel like you and I have never really taken on a um a fairy tale before Jordan 2, so that kind of leaves this uh this door wide open for us.

SPEAKER_01 26:56

And also if we do it in the style of like a James and the Giant Peach, we can um really stick it to that disgusting anti-Semite rolled doll.

SPEAKER_02 27:07

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 27:08

Jude, yeah. I uh one because you know I I immediately was like, I'm going to hold this too precious, so I don't want to have too much of a like serious say in this. But Sarah, your your suggestions um I think are so fucking perfect um in that regard. I'm slightly gravitating towards that third one, Jude. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

Yeah, I think it's good. I think this fantastical element of it too will really get us a chance to kind of practice it. We could do like a claymation element of it. I think you and I have always been really looking forward to playing with clay with each other.

SPEAKER_01 27:50

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

Um I think also another real fun fact. You're probably trying to wrap this podcast out and my computer's dying, but this is vital information.

SPEAKER_01 28:00

Yeah, give it.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

Uh do you know like the Rudolph claimation movie with like Rudolph and the island of the Misfit Toys? I'm gonna I'm gonna quickly pull up some I'm gonna Google search to make sure I'm getting people's names, right? But so do y'all know like what are your associations with that movie?

SPEAKER_01 28:21

Um, I saw a number of the Rankin Bass movies, like w when I was a kid, but we never watched them regularly, like I know some families did.

SPEAKER_02 28:33

Um but you're like with the uh the Rankin Bass, that it's a Rankin Bass film. Yeah. So my favorite thing about this movie that I learned just this past Christmas, that movie, along with almost every other Rankin Bass acclamation movie, was animated in Tokyo by a studio run by a dude named Tadahito Mochinaga. And he was a Japanese guy who developed that specific style after alright, so he's got a little bit of a backstory. He went to animation school, graduates, it's the middle of World War II. It this is happening at the same time as Casablanca, and this is all true. Uh his first job is making propaganda films for the Imperial Japanese army. So he makes a film about like how great kamikazis are. Um and then he's sent to work in uh Japanese Manchuria, which is like when Japan conquered and colonized a bunch of China and brutally uh uh ruled it. And so he's there, he's making Japanese propaganda. It's not really like his choice, you know, he's a vassal of an emperor. Um probably didn't have to do it, he's doing it. Uh so he's making propaganda films there. Japan loses, they're getting kicked out of the war, they have to leave China, and he gets kidnapped, he's kidnapped by the Soviets, he's kidnapped by the the Chinese, he's he's he's he's whatever, a lot a lot of shit happens, and he ends up being kidnapped eventually by a brigade of the Chinese Revolutionary Army. And he is put in a POW camp where because he's got all these valuable propaganda animation skills, they force him to make animated propaganda now for the new um like Chinese uh Communist Party and for the Republican Army, or the people's army, Mao's army. But because he has such limited materials, because he's a POW, because China's undergoing like massive economic collapse at this time, he doesn't have enough access to paint to do a normal cell-based frame-by-frame animation that he's used to doing. And so he innovates this particular approach to claimation because he just doesn't have enough materials to generate the number of propaganda films that this Chinese army is forcing him to churn out. And he survives for years by doing that. Eventually he makes his way back to Japan, where he carries his tradition forward and uh starts eventually working with Rankin Bass and using that Chinese communist uh improvised animation style to make a bunch of beloved American children memories, like we all the red-nosed reindeer.

SPEAKER_00 31:23

So you're saying like if if it wasn't for Chairman Mao and the Cultural Revolution, we wouldn't have the Island of Misfit Toys. Yeah, the mis the Island of Misfit Toys, everything about it is Chinese.

SPEAKER_02 31:35

It's actually it's actually Taiwan. It is the the co-product of the Japanese Imperial Army and the Chinese Communist Revolutionary Army. And it's Rudolph the Red Nose Ranger in the Island of Misfit Toys.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

It's I just love it. That's what I got when I watched it when I was a kid. My parents were like, I don't think that's what it's about, but I was like, no, no, it's a pretty sure it's what it's about. You can feel Manchuria. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is about like uh uh killing your parents and uh you know taking over China for like uh the right reason. I just I thought it was about wanting to be a dentist.

SPEAKER_01 32:13

Casablanca is one of the most quoted movies of all time, but play it again, Sam, is actually a misquote. Never said in the movie.

unknown 32:25

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 32:26

So I went down a little rabbit hole of famous misquotes from movies, and I will give you the misquote, and I want you to tell me what the real quote is.

SPEAKER_02 32:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 32:39

So, first off, from the movie She Done Him Wrong, Mae West famously or infamously said, or didn't say, Why don't you come up and see me sometime? But she didn't say it. What did she say?

SPEAKER_02 32:55

Well, I'm gonna completely guess because I didn't know this was a film. Um what she actually said is, How about you come up sometime and see me?

SPEAKER_01 33:05

That is almost exactly right. It is just the switch. It's why don't you come up at sometime and see me? I changed too many things. I should have gone first instinct. Very good though. Um then Snow White, we have mirror, mirror on the wall.

SPEAKER_00 33:21

Oh, she didn't say that?

SPEAKER_01 33:22

She did not say mirror, mirror on the wall. What did she actually say?

SPEAKER_00 33:26

That's fucked up. That's uh man. This is a tough one. Uh why do you look like that?

SPEAKER_02 33:35

I think you know it's still gonna rhyme. It's gonna be similar enough because it's still followed up by Who's the Fairest of Them all. So I think she probably just said like Maybe just mirror on the wall. Yeah, oh mirror on the wall.

SPEAKER_01 33:47

It's magic mirror on the wall.

SPEAKER_02 33:49

Magic mirror on the wall. Magic mirror on the wall. Who's the fairest of them all? Yeah, I mean it still scans, so yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:54

Okay, yeah, you're gonna tell that you're the mirror is like you don't have to tell me I'm magic, you dumbass. Like, I know it. I'm literally a living weird mirror. Yeah, I'm not using science to do this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:07

Fantastic. Uh, we're gonna go to Jaws. Uh famous line, we're going to need a bigger boat. Never actually said. What is the real line? That's some bad hat, Harry. It's you're going to need a bigger boat, fucker. And I he just kind of throws away fucker, so it's that most people don't know that.

SPEAKER_02 34:28

But it's a big one. You're not we're is the big error.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was taught not to use you statements. I feel like you're gonna need a bigger boat.

SPEAKER_01 34:37

Um, Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back. Uh, it says, Luke, I am your father. But he never actually said that. What did he say? He says, No, I am your father. That is incorrect. He says, Luke, I'm your nasty daddy. Luke, I'm your nasty little daddy.

SPEAKER_00 34:56

Oh, what? Is that is that on the AFI list of a hundred uh under 15-minute porn videos I saw when I was 15?

SPEAKER_01 35:03

Yeah. In Oliver, uh, he finishes his gruel and brings it up to the master. And uh everybody thinks he says, please, sir, can I have some more? What does he actually say? May I have some more, sir? He says, please, sir, can I play Roblox now?

unknown 35:22

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_02 35:22

Oh, because of Gen Z.

SPEAKER_01 35:26

No, this was from the original. It was crazy that they're original?

SPEAKER_02 35:30

Yeah. They should. I mean, the answer should be no. Like, how old is Oliver? Like, there's a lot of people. And then there's all these like dangerous like neo-Nazis scouting on there, like child predators, like Jeffrey Epstein would have been all over Roblox.

SPEAKER_00 35:46

Yeah, yeah. And Roblox is using like uh they're they're trying to get kids to kind of gamble, you know. Um, so maybe he's like, uh, police sir, may I have some more uh Robux? Yeah. Uh to Yeah, that's nice too.

SPEAKER_01 36:00

In the movie Wall Street, Gordon Gecko is often quoted as saying, greed is good. He did not say this. Uh what did he actually say?

SPEAKER_02 36:08

Oh, he's a Gecko. So I think he kind of just like bugs are good. Made like a suction cup noise, and then like uh he stuck his tongue out.

SPEAKER_01 36:19

Um he did not say greed is good, he said God is great. Uh in the field.

SPEAKER_00 36:25

I didn't know that lizards were religious.

SPEAKER_02 36:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:28

Uh in the field of dreams, uh, it's often quoted, uh, if you build it, they will come. However, that is not the correct quote from the movie. What is it, Jude? I know you love this film.

SPEAKER_00 36:40

Well, I feel like this is not it. Uh we're we're may we're goofing now. Uh so we're in goofland, field of dreams. Uh if you build it, they will come. Hmm. Uh Your Dad is Ray Lota.

SPEAKER_01 36:54

Yeah, they did say that. Um, but the actual quote is go into that cornfield and make some men come. That was that is the actual quote from the movie.

SPEAKER_00 37:06

Hey, you get that's how you that's how you get children of the corn. Yeah, well, that's true.

SPEAKER_01 37:10

We have I'm out of order, you're out of order, this whole damn courtroom is out of order. Never said. Yeah. The actual line? It's almost exactly the same, but then he also mentions that the air dryer in the bathroom is out of order, and the vending machine in the nearby hallway is out of order, and he wants his 35 cents back for the bag of pretzels he bought.

SPEAKER_00 37:32

Who is responsible for that in the courtroom? Who is it- is the bailiff actually responsible for that in like the court building? Yeah, bailiff. It's the stenographer.

SPEAKER_01 37:41

The stenographer's got the quick and dexterous fingers to like reach up and and fiddle with the things, but the bailiff does have the tool belt.

SPEAKER_02 37:50

That's true. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:51

And finally, hello Clarice from Silence of the Lambs is never actually said in the movie.

SPEAKER_02 37:59

Oh, this one's this one's a trick question because they don't say anything in that movie. It is in fact a silent film. So Hello Clarice was held up as a sign, sort of in between cuts.

SPEAKER_00 38:11

Exactly, yes. It it comes along with a score for like a Wurlitzer.

SPEAKER_01 38:18

Yeah. That feels more accurate. What I have here is that uh you said Sul Sul Clarish. Uh, and the whole script was written in Simlish, actually.

SPEAKER_02 38:28

So interesting. Yeah. Sultuf me. Tutu Fush.

SPEAKER_00 38:36

I yeah, I love I love, I put my clarice. I like to put my clarice in a swimming pool and like remove the ladders.

SPEAKER_02 38:42

Oh, you must.

SPEAKER_01 38:44

You are Buffalo Bill.

SPEAKER_02 38:46

Uh, it puts the lotion on the skin. And then I put the ladder in.

SPEAKER_01 38:53

So this has been Say It Again Scam, one of our classic segments on the show. Um, Sarah, thank you so much for joining us today. This has been an absolute pleasure.

SPEAKER_02 39:03

It's been great. It's perfect timing. My computer just hit 1% battery.

SPEAKER_01 39:07

Oh, amazing. You can find Sarah at Sarah Rose Kaplan on uh Instagram social media. I became a big fan of yours um through seeing you on like YouTube and and reels and things. Um you're an incredible comedian. One thing I love about you is you like straddle this line of kind of this deadpan um absurdist humor, but then you also really communicate with a lot of intelligence and a ton of heart, and um I I I appreciate that so greatly.

SPEAKER_02 39:40

Oh, thank you so much. Uh, this was very fun to join y'all with. I'm gonna be real fast because my computer is gonna die, and I don't want to lose this file. But it's been a blast. Thank y'all so much. I can't wait to see the script.

SPEAKER_01 39:54

Sarah, you rule. Jude, another great pitch meeting in the bank. How are you feeling about Hill of Beans?

SPEAKER_00 40:03

I'm so excited to get started, to get into the Claymation Studio with you, uh, to kind of bring this uh Phantasmagoria to life. And I and I don't use that term lightly. I really do uh think this is going to be phantasmic.

SPEAKER_01 40:21

Fantastic. And uh I know that you're talking about leveling up in your gump journey. Uh, do you have any, you know, words of wisdom for the people out there who are possibly taking their first steps into gumpism?

SPEAKER_00 40:37

Yeah, absolutely. Uh I think the most important thing is to, you know, not overthink it. Specifically, don't overthink it. Uh, you don't need to inhabit the accent, you don't need to eat the shrimp. Uh gumping in of itself uh is uh it's a spiritual uh kind of plane. Um so just don't think. Uh follow your instincts uh and let the world happen to you like rain on the back of a slick frog.

SPEAKER_01 41:09

Jude, thank you so much. It has been a pleasure, as always. This is coming out on tax day, so make sure you have your taxes done, everybody.

SPEAKER_00 41:18

I won't I won't. In the spirit of Rick, who I'm sure was doing something weird with his taxes, I ain't gonna I ain't gonna do that.

SPEAKER_01 41:28

I would encourage people beyond this. Do not pay your taxes. Tax strike 2026. Um, do not give your money to a government that does not support you. Uh exactly.

SPEAKER_00 41:44

They love it when you do that.

SPEAKER_01 41:45

Thank you everybody so much for listening once again. Uh, we will have this script for you next week. Uh, you can follow us on all social medias at squeakpod at uh on Instagram, or um you can email us if you have any thoughts, suggestions, movies that you want to see us sequalize at squeakpod at gmail.com. Thank you so much. Bye. Bye.