Mrs. Doubtfire

A very silly episode and a very old episode.

What would Mrs. Doubtfire smell like? That's really the bulk of our discussion.

Featuring Shrimps.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hello everyone. Errrrrrr. What's that noise? That's the sound of the vault opening, because this is actually probably one of the first six episodes we ever recorded, and then we are just now producing the Doubtfire script for you next week. Um, but uh this is the second time we ever had shrimps on the podcast. There's a lot in here that actually I thought had been said out loud at some point, and so we've referenced things from this episode at points on the podcast. Once again, this is kind of a Rosetta Stone for the lore of our show. Um it's very fun, it's a long one, I hope you enjoy it. Um and then the Doubtfire script next week is one of my favorites of all time. Okay, that's it. Enjoy.

SPEAKER_12 0:58

You dressed up like Jughead Jones from the Archie series, complete with Burger King crown and a very realistic prosthetic rubber face, but no one knew who you were. Is that from Riverdale? says an ignorant partygoer. Yes and no, you think. But you don't say anything. It doesn't matter anymore. You belly up at your local dive bar, identity crisis. You put your elbows on the table and let your hands feel the prosthetic rubber of your second face you 3D printed earlier in the week. It feels nice to push down on the dimples, sending cool rushes of air across your eyeballs. You look to the left. A man in a green, the mask mask, takes a shot. Flames burst from his mouth.

SPEAKER_15 1:41

He says, Somebody stop me.

SPEAKER_12 1:44

To your right, a guy in a Venetian porcelain mask from eyes wide shut is drinking a glass of Bordeaux. He lets out an audible moan. You decide you could white your whistle, and the bartender comes over. Oh hello, she says, in her characteristic Scottish accent.

SPEAKER_14 2:02

You look sadder than my poor Winston. He died from the drink.

SPEAKER_12 2:06

You love it when Mrs. Dalfire is working the bar. Every flourish of her arm fat she reaches for bottles is practically scored by a whimsical string flourish, which you can almost hear. She makes you a mudslide, and the bold roasted flavor of the Kalua feels great against your tired throat. Tired from explaining that Jughead's hat is a product of his non-conformism. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, all right, okay. Tired of explaining that the world should already understand about Jughead.

SPEAKER_14 2:46

God damn it, sorry. They don't call it a slide for nothing, Mrs.

SPEAKER_12 2:55

Doubtfire says. With how strong I'm You need a better Mrs. Doubtfire.

SPEAKER_04 3:01

I think it's pretty good.

SPEAKER_12 3:02

No, it's so bad, it's bad, it's bad, it's bad. Okay. They don't call it a slide for nothing, Mrs. Doubtfire says, With how strong I make them, it's more like a landslide. You laugh politely. You go to take off your prosthetic jug head mask, and you realize that you can't find where the rubber ants in your face begins. Mrs. Stop! Oh my god, this is so stupid. Um Mrs. Doubtfire, you ask, can I have a razor blade? And what will you be needing that for, my sweetie?

SPEAKER_14 3:37

I know Jordan is gonna love, I'm really excited.

SPEAKER_12 3:40

Okay. Alright, you guys. You go to take off your prosthetic jug head mask, and you realize you can't find where the rubber ends and your face starts. Mrs. Delfire. This is so stupid. Okay, Mrs. Delfire, you ask, can I have a razor blade? And what will you be needing that for, Miss Sweetie? To cut off my mask. I can't tell where it stops and where my real face begins. The bar erupts with laughter. The mask's eyes bulge out of his mask. The eyes wide shut sexual deviant lets out a hearty guffaw and starts rubbing the outside of his The Eyes Wide Shut Deviant lets out a hearty guffaw and starts to grab the outside of his pants.

SPEAKER_08 4:25

This is the whole episode.

SPEAKER_14 4:28

Mrs. Delfire lifts up her shirt to reveal two enormous and very real breasts.

SPEAKER_12 4:36

Mrs. Doubtfire lifts up her shirt to reveal two enormous and very real breasts.

SPEAKER_14 4:41

Why, Jughead? Don't you know the truth? Around here, the masks stay on all year round. You scream a mighty jughead scream.

SPEAKER_12 4:56

And pass out because Mrs. Delfire is real.

SPEAKER_07 5:05

Alright. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 5:07

That's a that is a tight ending. That's a doozy. That's a doozy.

SPEAKER_03 5:16

Get the buckle ready. Lava jump.

SPEAKER_07 5:25

Sweep a child for the two days.

unknown 5:29

Shh.

SPEAKER_12 5:29

So Halloween is a a costume holiday. And then in the the Jewish religion, there's also another holiday with that it's like you have to wear costume for. I forget the name of it. I don't know. Is there any other kind of like costume holiday?

SPEAKER_04 5:49

I think more holidays should be costume holidays.

SPEAKER_12 5:53

I was at my friend's house last night, and uh he's dating like a Danish woman. Uh-huh. And she was with her friends uh who were visiting from Denmark, and they were like, I never wore costume in my whole life. We have no concept of Halloween. That's interesting. They didn't talk like that. That was a crazy accent. But their accent was crazy, but they were like, we have no concept of a costumed holiday.

SPEAKER_04 6:17

Good. I was gonna say in England, I did I lived there for a couple months. It's like the opposite. They are like constantly it's not even holidays. They like there are just costume parties, are like um an all-year round.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

It's called a fancy dress party.

SPEAKER_04 6:33

Yeah. And they just you just so like on any given Saturday night, you'll see like a group of people in costumes going to a party, and it's like not weird at all.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Yeah, you'll have a birthday and it's like, well, is it a fancy dress party? You know, or you'll go out bowling with your friends and they're like, is it a fancy dress bowling?

SPEAKER_12 6:49

Yeah. I guess I was picturing more like Guy Fawkes Day or something, but I can totally see British people just doing something weird like that because they're so straight-laced for like the rest of the week that it's like whatever. Oh, it's the third Friday in May. Let's dress up like the May Fairy.

SPEAKER_04 7:04

Yeah. I don't know if Halloween's as big of a deal over there.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

It has become so. I listen to a lot of British uh I watch a lot of British TV, I listen to a lot of British podcasts. It has become more prevalent in like the last 20 years, but like trick-or-treating was not really a thing in like the 80s, 90s in uh the UK. Um, but it has become, they've taken on some of the American ideals of Halloween over there. Yeah. Um, before we get too far away from this, Jude, I just need to say that like when asked for a cold open intro, uh, you did two things, which is one, you went immediately to the concept of, which is also not supposed to be discussed, your comedy bit, which is Halloween. So already that tenuous link of Halloween to Halloween has been stuck.

SPEAKER_12 7:53

So one of the most important things about this podcast, though, that you got you gotta break the rules to make the rules. That's right. I keep telling it to myself every time before we record, I'm like, gotta make the rules to break the rules.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

And then the other one is that uh you did not open with like, you know, a non-sequitur uh conversation. You asked a question. You posited a question to the room, which is also not how cold open.

SPEAKER_12 8:18

Well, you know, sometimes you gotta deflect the work on other people.

SPEAKER_01 8:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 8:22

You should see me in a group project.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

I do I am right now, actually. What do you think? Uh welcome to Squeakles the Sequel Podcast. My name is Jordan. I'm Jude. I'm Alex. Alex is here once again. Alex might be mentioned in stories of shrimp beef. Alex, Alex, what do you prefer?

SPEAKER_04 8:38

Uh shrimps. Shrimps? Is good, yeah.

SPEAKER_12 8:41

Shrimps is so fun. I'm sorry for calling you Alex earlier. I just didn't know, like, if sometimes with nicknames, I feel like you could cross a line with somebody. Like you haven't earned it. Exactly. So I was like, I'm gonna call him Alex until he's gonna be like, you can he's gonna pass me like a card that's like you can do it now. You're allowed.

SPEAKER_04 8:56

The only one I don't pass out handedly is Al. Those you had that one, it's like the only people that have ever called me Al, they knew they could. They're like really deep.

SPEAKER_03 9:06

Well, you played them the song. Which one? Oh, call me out.

SPEAKER_12 9:12

Oh, that's Salisbury Hill. I'm just saying the wrong song at you.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

Alex, I've been wrestling with the concept of you on this podcast for the last uh hour and a half. And it was because I, you know, we just kind of brought you on without any sort of like pomp and circumstance. People just all of a sudden there's a new voice in the room calling himself Alex or Shrimps or Shrimp Beef. And, you know, it's like, who is he? And I think for the sake of our listener, we'll just say our listener, our one listener. Well, we have 14 downloads uh on our last episode. I just got um we have 14 regular listeners to this podcast right now. But I would say, Alex, uh, I'll call you the producer. Because on other podcasts, that's somebody who kind of like chimes in here or there, even though you don't do any of the work, I do all that work. Yep. You'll just be kind of like, oh, our producer Alex, when you're here. Does that sound good?

SPEAKER_04 10:16

Sure. That's my favorite role to have. Or like permanent guest. Hell yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just a voice.

SPEAKER_12 10:23

No, producer is so much better. I just feel like it makes me sound like I do a lot more. Yeah, no, it's a because I feel like every good podcast has to have like, you know, like, shrimp, bring up that, you know, bring up bring up the backbeat or something, you know, like shrimp. Can you bring that up for me for a second? Is it Jamie on um uh Rogan? On Rogan experience, yeah. Yeah, Jamie, what's going on?

SPEAKER_14 10:45

Jamie, how long is it?

SPEAKER_01 10:46

You got Robin on Howard Stern. Who are the great producers of all time? Ross on Fraser?

SPEAKER_12 10:54

Yep. Oh, Ross. I thought you meant Ross from Friends. Oh, he was producing and Ross.

SPEAKER_02 11:00

Frasier! Stop going to the clinic! He's like, You're on a bad topic. Pivot, pivot.

SPEAKER_09 11:08

Oh, and then and then Frasier's like, I thought we were recording the whole time, and he's like, We were on a break.

SPEAKER_14 11:14

Maybe you should maybe the show should be called acquaintances.

SPEAKER_12 11:18

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_14 11:21

Can I tell you something I was thinking?

SPEAKER_12 11:23

What? This is Doubtfire, the movie. Oh, that's the topic of this epic of the episode. It is like an episode of fucking Frasier at the end, and I loved it.

SPEAKER_01 11:35

Wait, hold on. Welcome to Squequels, a sequel podcast. Uh, we already said this, but we believe that every seek every movie deserves a sequel.

SPEAKER_12 11:43

And every sequel deserves a movie to have been derived from.

SPEAKER_01 11:47

Yes. Everything is derivative. That's what we do here. We pitch a movie. We pitch three possible sequels, we choose one of those sequels, and then a week later we present it to you and to each other.

SPEAKER_13 11:58

Because time is a flat circle. Because time is a flat circle the yellow king.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

Um, you can follow us on all uh social media at squeak pod and send us emails at squeakpod at squeakpodcast at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_12 12:11

And if you don't, I'll find you.

SPEAKER_01 12:13

So back to what you were saying about uh Fraser.

SPEAKER_12 12:16

Yes. Okay, so Mrs. Doubtfire, it's a freaking comedy of manners over here when he's like running back and forth to go to the bathroom to change at the end. I just like because this is another thing I like to do that Jordan hates is just start talking about the movie right at the end. Like I'm ending it. No, but I'm like, the 90s, man, we had so many great comedy of of errors. Yeah. You know, you know what I mean? And we don't do it anymore. Like, what if he was at you were at a meeting and it was like you had created a podcast that the Groupers loved. So you had a meeting with like Nick Fuentes on one side, and then on the other side, um, freaking I don't know, Z-Way is like, let's I need to interview you. So you need to like be a different character for Z-Way than you are for Nick Fuentes.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

For both of those, I would just be George Santos.

SPEAKER_12 13:08

It would work either way, they would both hate you.

SPEAKER_09 13:11

But the but the fucking public would've loved me. They would love it.

SPEAKER_12 13:15

They would love it. Would you what kind of costume would you put on between Nick Fuentes and Z-Way?

SPEAKER_01 13:21

I mean, I would probably for Z Way be in as drag Santos. And for, you know, I would be the buttoned up um, you know.

SPEAKER_12 13:30

Camouflage hat. I feel like a camouflage hat you get a lot of mileage out of that.

SPEAKER_01 13:33

With Fuentes, yeah.

SPEAKER_12 13:34

Oh, yeah, but I'm saying like you could even like put like a sticker on it that says like bitch. Like if you had a camouflage trucker hat, and then you had a sticker that said bitch that was in pink, and you put it on the front, that would be great for you know, Z-Way.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

Yes. She would she would read you to hell though.

SPEAKER_12 13:52

Oh, I would be done on Z-Way's podcast, buddy. She would fucking figure me out. She'd be like, You just love saying stupid shit for the sake of saying stupid shit, don't you? And I'd be like, Yeah, some other Did you see any of the um Eric Adams was just on the way I did, I did.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Yeah, that's how kind of why I brought it up. Yeah. He's uh he's a crazy man. He is a crazy man. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:13

I feel like it was one of the first times I've seen her like stumped at someone's craziness almost.

SPEAKER_12 14:18

Yeah, I because I think he was like, I'm gonna get away with it because I'm too stupid and crazy. Because she would be like, you know, do you would you like to because she throws little barbs in there that are like, you know, to get them thinking, and one of the things she said is like, oh, did you want that in American dollars or like Turkish lira? Yeah. And he's like, definitely Lyra. It's like, okay, well, it can't make you look stupid because you obviously love Turkey.

SPEAKER_01 14:39

Do you know I think his name is Jesse Walters? But he calls he's like a pastor and he calls Trump the great white savior.

SPEAKER_04 14:49

What about him? Was he on Z Way?

SPEAKER_01 14:51

I feel like he would also be somebody that would make Z-Way kind of stop at her tracks a little bit. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:57

Once you have a certain level of like lack of self-awareness, yeah. Like it's impossible to tell if Eric Adams is in on the joke or not.

SPEAKER_12 15:06

Yeah, and it kind of makes it more powerful because he's kind of just like funny.

SPEAKER_04 15:10

It's very powerful because he's just like nothing seems to faze him. He lives in his own Halloween. Yeah. The part where he's like, Oh, I met your dog, and and the dog loved me. And then she's like, I actually have a photo of this just for context. And the dog is like, Looks so afraid of him.

SPEAKER_12 15:32

I hate to go back to another podcast or reference another podcast, but if Eric Adams just started a career as like an Airbud like character, like just in like Eric Adams and Meets a Dog, it would probably do great. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, back to the point, is like I'm just saying, like, that kind of like comedy of manners thing, it like doesn't happen anymore.

SPEAKER_01 15:51

I think cell phones I say cell phones ruined everything. Oh my god. But cell phones uh in movies are just a such a funny thing to have to bake into it because unless you're setting something in a period piece, everybody has an active communication device constantly on their hip, and those communication those uh comedies of manners are a little bit, you know, hard balance.

SPEAKER_12 16:16

Yeah. So if like you're saying like if you know if if um the family from Mrs. Doubtfire took a selfie with Mrs.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

Doubtfire, showed it on Instagram, somebody be like, that's a man. Yeah, that's your dad.

SPEAKER_12 16:27

That's your dad.

SPEAKER_04 16:28

That's your dad. Or also just having to navigate that comedy with having location turned on, right? Be like, dad's in our house.

SPEAKER_12 16:39

Why and where? Oh, yeah, yeah. Because the only one they really gave it away was when he was peeing, standing up, and the son was like, Mrs.

SPEAKER_14 16:47

Delfire, you're not a Mrs. Delfire.

SPEAKER_01 16:51

No, it's it's so much worse than that. It's like I I watched a video on YouTube called like I watched Mrs. Doubtfire with four of my trans friends, and for the most part, they're like loving it. I don't even remember their reaction at this point, but watching this part specifically is Sun catches dad standing up to piss, or catches Mrs. Doubtfire standing up to piss, goes, He's a she, she's a hee he, he's a she, he's a she. Call 911. Mrs. Doubtfire is a half man, half woman.

SPEAKER_12 17:20

Yeah, like there's like no um yeah, because it's I mean, I guess like the implication is like the son is afraid that like she's there to rob them, even though she could have just as easily have been a hermaphrodite.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

It's the same person who's in the house. It is just you learned that Mrs. Doubtfire has male genitals and now they are dangerous because of that fact. Yeah, yeah, it was bad, it was bad. But it's almost immediately followed up by uh the horny bus driver looking at Robin Williams' hairy ass legs and saying, I like that on a woman.

SPEAKER_03 17:52

The Mediterranean look. That's cool. It's cool.

SPEAKER_13 17:54

Oh, yeah, it's healthy with that. Yeah, he's like, it's healthy, it's natural.

SPEAKER_12 17:58

I love that. And then, like, if Mrs. Delphire just like whipped out her actual pussy, prosthetic pussy. Because like that's another thing that you want to see. There's a deleted scene where uh Harvey Firestein makes him this like really graphic, realistic vagina.

SPEAKER_15 18:13

I never thought I could give my brother a pussy. Mom's gonna love this.

SPEAKER_04 18:18

I don't know why they cut that out.

SPEAKER_15 18:21

Let me take a selfie.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

Oh, Harvey Firestein is so good in this movie. It's such a San Francisco movie, too.

SPEAKER_12 18:31

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

Yeah. They show it a lot. And you uh like it's probably one of the first movies where like a gay couple was so just normally presented without any sort of joke, without any sort of like anything other than that.

SPEAKER_12 18:44

Lovingly, yeah. That was very uh that I've you wouldn't have seen it like up to that point, I would say, other than like um other great San Francisco movies, like arachnophobia. Which also is like weirdly just almost too many shots of San Francisco.

SPEAKER_08 19:00

You know, I heard Jeff Daniels on that movie.

SPEAKER_12 19:02

Jeff Daniels in Arachnophobia.

SPEAKER_08 19:04

Was like, I'm gonna I I just rented Fly Fly Away Home. He's like, Where's Anna Packwin?

SPEAKER_02 19:11

I just rented Flyaway Home.

SPEAKER_12 19:13

We were discussing there's a video of like Jeff Daniels where he like has a romantic scene with Anna Packwin in a movie and he kept bringing up like Fly Away Home, like which is a little girl. And he's like, Oh my remember fly away home, and she's like, This isn't helping. The intimacy coordinator was like, just bring up Fly Away Home a lot. Yeah, that'll make her more comfortable. Gross. But anyway, can we get to the point? Why are there no com- Oh, because of cell phones. Alright, you figured it out. Yeah, the qu your question actually answered that.

SPEAKER_04 19:42

I thought you had a good question and I answered immediately.

SPEAKER_12 19:45

I yeah, and not only that, I think I made an audible, like, oh, Fuki's fucking right. Cell phones fucking ruined everything.

SPEAKER_04 19:51

Something better.

SPEAKER_01 19:52

Cell phones did ruin movies. I I think that's uh I I still like movies. I think there's still good movies being made, but cell phones actively ruin society and ruin movies as a result.

SPEAKER_04 20:03

Because you have to build it in essentially, or it like becomes I mean, if you can put this aside, but it becomes this kind of like distracting thing of like, well, why aren't they just like calling somebody? Like in like horror movies or whatever. You have to be like, oh, I don't have service. It's like, are you really in the era of 5G? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

Yeah, what do you have? Verizon?

SPEAKER_12 20:23

Wow, Verizon's good.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

Oh, what do you have? Oh, sorry. What do you have? ATT? T Mobile?

SPEAKER_12 20:28

Yeah, or what about you make a movie about like cricket wireless and they have that and they can't call the police, and so they get brutally murdered because of their choice.

SPEAKER_04 20:37

Yeah, if they built service providers into the narrative more, then I could believe it.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

I did want this was gonna be my uh kind of cold open or my like non-sequitur is if Jude didn't come up with the beautiful one that he did. Was there's a commercial right now with uh Billy Bob Thornton for T-Mobile, I believe, where he's like, T-Mobile built the largest network.

SPEAKER_12 21:00

No, no, no, no. He says something like they invented the telephone. Is that what you're talking about?

SPEAKER_01 21:05

Yeah, he's like wandering along a dirt road. Yeah, I saw that. And he's it's just him on a dirt road, and he's like, Verizon had the best wireless network. They made those claims, and that's because it was true, but not anymore. And when when is when did Middle America ever look at Billy Bob Thornton and go like, yeah, he really is like salt of the earth kind of guy? No, no, Billy Bob Thornton is one of the most like elitist fucking like liberal, you know, actors that you can possibly imagine.

SPEAKER_12 21:37

He also the other thing about that, and I was thinking the same thing, because he looks like uh like a hairless freak in these characters. Like he looks not great, you know. I I don't know how to describe it, but it's like he doesn't like I get you say, Oh, Billy Bob Thornton, he's rugged, he's salt of the earth, or whatever, but he just looks kind of like he looks sick, like mangy.

SPEAKER_04 21:57

Yeah, I haven't I don't know if I've seen these commercials.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

It's just him in a flannel shirt. He's drowning in like a medium-sized flannel shirt. The shirt's wearing him! He's got that same bowl cut he got in Fargo season one. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I haven't seen his hairstyle in Landman.

SPEAKER_12 22:17

I've never had the honor or the pleasure to have watched Land Man. I watched uh some clips from it. I watched Jerry Jones uh in it for some reason.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

That's good. It was alright. You watch Land Man?

SPEAKER_12 22:28

No.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

I don't know what that is. You watch Yellowstone? No. You watch Yellowstone 1893.

SPEAKER_04 22:39

Um, but yeah, the cell phone thing does kill me. Yeah. That's why I like period pieces, because you don't have to eat you don't have to worry about it.

SPEAKER_01 22:47

Yeah, if there's a car crash, if anything happens in a public area, it's immediately like, okay, a group of people on their cell phones gather around and start taking video.

SPEAKER_12 22:55

Yeah. Yeah. And then someone's like, oh, like what? That guy's got a giant uh suit underneath his dress. That's not a man, that's Mrs. Doubtfire. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:05

Yeah. How many movies have come out in the last ten years, and the kind of rising action is clip of this person doing that thing goes viral, and they are then like shamed into the next act of the movie.

SPEAKER_04 23:19

Maybe we just hate it because our minds of real life too much.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

Cancel culture.

SPEAKER_04 23:25

Yes. It's hard to suspend your disbelief about being in a movie when you have to deal with the same cell phones and such.

SPEAKER_12 23:34

I gotta say to you, like, because Sally Fields really deserved, you know, I don't she didn't get an Oscar, which is fine, but whatever. But like her character is really hard to play off because she has to really be kind of stupid. Like you have to like respect her and also think that she's really stupid. Yeah. Because the whole time I'm watching the movie, I'm like, can't she like smell? Like they've been together for 14 years. Yeah. Doesn't he have like a he doesn't like fart? You know, like that.

SPEAKER_04 23:58

Like the way the way he moves. Yeah. The way he drinks, picks up a glass of water.

SPEAKER_12 24:03

And granted, like no other actor could have pulled it off other than Robin Williams. He's fucking amazing in it. And he, you know, he's so funny.

SPEAKER_01 24:11

Maybe at this time, let's talk about actors that now could play a Mrs. Doubtfire. I will uh just off the hip, I'll shoot um the guy from Split. Um what's his face? James McAvoy. I'll say a James McAvoy could play a Mrs.

SPEAKER_12 24:25

Doubtfire role these days. Yeah, maybe um, though there's one actor that's kind of having a comeback from like Lucky Number Sleven guy. Um he was in that M. Night Chamblan trap movie.

SPEAKER_01 24:38

Oh, he's the best.

SPEAKER_12 24:39

Uh oh yeah.

SPEAKER_13 24:41

Oh god, I fucking hate doing the what is his name thing. That's all you do.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

I know I can't fucking help it.

SPEAKER_05 24:46

I'm fucking stupid.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

So I'm gonna give I'm gonna wait on this one because his career is stronger today than ever before.

SPEAKER_12 24:54

Yeah, yeah. I think he could definitely pull off a um uh a kind of like Mrs. Dalfire. Josh Hartnett, Mrs. Dalfire, I think would be really good.

SPEAKER_01 25:02

You know, Josh Hartnett is both in um 40 days of night and 40 days and 40 nights.

SPEAKER_04 25:09

Wow, what's the third installment of that? Um I would say maybe Channing Tatum. That is and it would be somewhat. I just feel like being that he's a part of the community, it might be feel a little more respectful. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:33

Whereas like Eddie Redmane would do like a prestige version. Or like a and it would be like, okay.

SPEAKER_12 25:40

He had his chance. Yeah. Or like a dad that loves his family so much he gets like surgery to become Mrs. Dobbins. Right. You know what I mean? It's not like a forest, it's like a kind of like, you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:49

Or there could be a a re Yeah, they would have to rewrite it certainly in some to update it to the modern lens. But also, you could do a reverse one.

SPEAKER_01 26:01

Well, we can't pitch sequels right now yet. We can't, we can't do that.

SPEAKER_04 26:06

Well, just like a the just a gender. Like joy. Like if you had um oh, what's her name? Uh she was in euphoria.

SPEAKER_01 26:19

Zendaya. No.

SPEAKER_04 26:20

It's a trans woman that's in euphoria.

SPEAKER_01 26:22

Oh, I don't know. I don't watch euphoria.

SPEAKER_04 26:25

Okay. Well, I'll think of it.

SPEAKER_01 26:27

But see, with him, it could be as easy. The answer could be as easy as Zendaya, and he would still say, Who's that person? Yeah, I'd be like, who's that one?

SPEAKER_12 26:35

It's a Spider-Man. She's a Spider-Man's girlfriend.

SPEAKER_13 26:39

They're always out. She's a little bit taller than him, but it adds to the allure.

SPEAKER_12 26:44

Yeah, you can. Yeah. Jordan, you got your fucking thinking face on. You look like you're about to say something. I just wanted to get back into controversial.

SPEAKER_01 26:51

No, I just wanted to get back into doubt fire a little bit because like you the smell idea is something that like I really latched on to. And it's like he's a little hairy, sweaty man. That's one thing we know about Robin Williams is he is hairy and he is sweaty. So, like wearing all those prosthetics, doing that shift for what five, three to five hours, especially out in like that hot California sun.

SPEAKER_12 27:19

And he keeps doing zany, like he cannot run doing zany shit. Like in the yeah, like even at the beginning of the movie, he's doing kind of the uh like dancing to like the most deaf thing, and like got all the kids playing guitar and like sliding across the ground with a broom, you know? Yeah, it's fucking nuts. And like, and you're telling me that his wife is just gonna come home and be like, Oh, yeah, it smells like my fucking ex-husband in here.

SPEAKER_03 27:46

Smells like his balls.

SPEAKER_12 27:48

Yeah. Why does it stink? Yeah, no, Sally Fields really like sold it though. I was like, oh damn, this lady's like she's dope. She's really stupid, or just really unaware. Do you think they should have added the plot point where she's like, oh, I have to get my glasses refit? At what point that would have been good. I have no sense of spelling.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

That's like my phone doesn't work of that time. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:07

Trying to put yourself in that situation of Sally Fields in that movie, though. At what point do you begin gaslighting yourself and being like that's cra there's no way my ex-husband is. I just miss my husband too much. Yeah. There's no way I my ex-husband is dressed up in full prosthetics as an old woman to see our kids.

SPEAKER_01 28:30

But you you you put the pieces together. He's an actor, a voice actor. His brother is a stage makeup, you know, expert. A movie makeup expert.

SPEAKER_04 28:41

It still feels like a reach. Like I think I would be like, I'm going crazy. There's no way. I wouldn't be able to cross the Rubicon of making an accusation. Because what you know.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

I'm gonna push back on this a little bit because I just watched most of it, most of it last night. Um, but he's not he's also breaks character so often, like in front of her, especially when he's talking about Stu, he'll always be like, Ooh, that guy needs to take a fucking shower or like something, you know? And she just kind of gives him like this little weird, like, okay, Mrs. Doubtfire look. But it's like she says the nastiest things about Stu all the time.

SPEAKER_12 29:25

Yeah, trying to get her off the topic and the dress too, where she was like, I wore that to my aunt's funeral in 1979, and she was like, Well, you don't want to be a tramp or whatever, you know. Dude, I was fucking cracking the fuck up watching Mrs. Delfire again. It's been a while. It's a great film, dude. The shit that he says, like in between, it's like it's like fucking like Groucho Marx.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

Well, he does plenty of impressions of Groucho Marks.

SPEAKER_12 29:51

When he's talking when he's talking about the vibrator when they're like at the dinner, he's like, I'm surprised she hasn't chipped her teeth. Oh, she's got a real jackhammer.

SPEAKER_01 30:01

That's so good. Robin Williams in this movie uh is kind of a he's not a sympathetic character. He's kind of a creep, he's kind of a weirdo. Um when he like leers at that woman in the bikini and is like, your drink's on me, and she's like, No, thanks, because he's Mrs. Dadfire. It's like, even if he wasn't dressed up as Mrs. Dadfire, this is still a weird situation.

SPEAKER_12 30:22

Yeah, I also like that when he gets the dinner with the producer, um, it's like, come to dinner with me and pitch me some ideas. But he just gets there and they have like seven scotches and they're just talking about Tang, and then and then he comes back, dresses Mrs. Doubtfire, and he's like, Oh, I had a piss like a racehorse. That was so funny. But yeah, they don't talk about any like creative discussions or whatever until the end when he's like, I want to introduce you to Mrs. Doubtfire.

SPEAKER_01 30:48

The that whole part, the producer part, is funny because you know, he like kind of gets he talks to the guy at first and he's like, This guy's so boring. And the guy's like, When the prehistoric era entered, he starts making all these jokes, and the guy starts laughing. The jokes aren't that good, and then he sneaks into the studio and plays with the dinosaurs. That is not material that he does. The material that he does would not play for children.

SPEAKER_12 31:18

That's all it's also not educational at all. Like he's like, Oh, and then the dinosaur, oh, it's like I'm a raptor. Look at me, rapping. I'm a prehistoric, trapping. Like, it's like you're not teaching the kids anything about dinosaurs. No, yeah, the T-Rex, look at the- This is T-Rex, king of the dinosaurs.

SPEAKER_01 31:35

Oh, oh.

SPEAKER_12 31:36

Oh, he does an Elvis impression, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 31:38

And then he does a Groucho Marx impression.

SPEAKER_12 31:41

You're just kind of giving them exposure to the concept of dinosaurs. Yeah, at all. And then like the producer comes out, and the other thing too I want to like bring out is like that they don't have to have movies anymore. I think they should bring back, is like whimsical string flourishes, like whenever anything, something happens. I feel like that's like the director, like Chris Columbus. It's like his oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:01

It's so crisp. I was talking to Anna Home Alone. Pardon? You do Home Alone?

SPEAKER_12 32:05

He directed Home Alone. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:07

I was talking to Anna about the soundtrack, and I was like, it's so Christopher Columbus.

SPEAKER_12 32:11

Oh yeah, yeah. And he does like a bunch of the Harry Potter movies, too. It's like all very like whimsical and like I don't know, it's like you picture someone's eyes opening in the morning and it's like Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:26

There's a very specific instance of that where he fucks up making dinner the first time he's cooking dinner and then he orders delivery dinner and then sets it out so pristinely, and it is a moment where like it's embedded in my mind the way the carrots look on the plate, they're like fully carved down to like those beautiful, you know, spears, and they just have like the little green parts are like just enough that they're like cute on the end. The way those carrots looked, I thought about that my entire childhood was like how good those carrots must taste.

SPEAKER_04 33:03

It's like the goofy movie pizza.

SPEAKER_01 33:04

Yes, yes, or the leaning tower of tea.

SPEAKER_04 33:08

Yes, yeah. Um, did Danny Elfman do the soundtrack for that too?

SPEAKER_12 33:14

That's Howard Shore. It's Howard Shore, yeah, yeah. Which is also makes like another good one, too.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

Yeah, yeah. Um when he presents that meal, the mom's coming home and she sees the kids and they're coming down and they just finished homework, and they're like, We did homework. She's like, That's so nice homework. And then she looks into the dining room and sees that dinner splayed out, and you see the look of like joy on her face.

SPEAKER_12 33:39

Oh my god, it's yeah, it's unforgettable.

SPEAKER_01 33:41

It's that that glissando um dinner is served. Dinner is served. And she's smiling, and I'm like, the whole time I'm like, this is fake. All of this is fake. Why does it feel like why are we scoring it with like this like ethereal music when it's all fabricated?

SPEAKER_12 34:01

The other thing that is also kind of troubling is when he just makes up the fake babysitters to call her in the beginning, and they're just like all just the most psychotic people you've ever heard, and he's basically just gaslighting the wife into thinking that like everyone's nuts so that he can introduce Mrs. Doubtfire. Yeah. And he literally goes like showtime before he's like emotionally abusing his wife. Showtime.

SPEAKER_10 34:29

Before he starts phone stalking his wife. It is problematic. Oh, yeah. I don't work with males because oh, I don't work with males because I used to be one.

SPEAKER_04 34:38

Have we lost our sense of whimsy though? That we can't suspend our disbelief enough to be like, this is problematic if it were to happen in real life.

SPEAKER_12 34:48

Well, I just feel like I feel like, you know, in in today's world, the Mrs. Delfire writing room, they would need like a lawyer in there, like a P like a PC lawyer.

SPEAKER_04 34:58

But a lot of things wouldn't, I mean, even probably like Home Alone is an insane tale as well.

SPEAKER_12 35:05

Well, Home Alone when that is a hole to be poked. In the second one where he puts his like finger in a light socket and you see a skeleton, that's where I lost. I lost the whole thing.

SPEAKER_01 35:16

Second Home Alone is bad. First Home Alone is one of my favorite movies of all the yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_12 35:20

So good.

SPEAKER_01 35:20

No, Second Home Alone is bad.

SPEAKER_12 35:21

Second Home Alone is not good. I don't like that. That is it's like it blows the roof off of everything because the first thing, the thing that's so good about the first one, and I've talked about this before, is that it's like all the things that happen, it's like it's kind of magical, but it's like everything kind of like you understand why it happens. The second one is just like, let's watch this guy torture, let's watch this kid torture these fucking adults, you know. Yeah, it's like torture porn.

SPEAKER_04 35:46

You well, I like is that why you like it? Yeah. Well, you like it, sure. But yeah, it's like Saw Jr. Yeah. But you guys are, I think, the first two people that I have met, certainly at the same time, that thought that Home Long 2 is not better than one. I feel like it's widely accepted that it's a better sequel than the other.

SPEAKER_01 36:05

I know I I understand what you're saying. I know a lot of people who like love it, but I saw it late in life and realized that it is just, and so I think there's a lot of nostalgia that comes along with it. Um, because it's like a gorgeous movie, also. But it is yeah, yeah. Um, but it is just the first movie, and then they chat GPT'd what happens in New York. It's the exact same beats as the first movie. Nothing new happens, nothing exciting happens. The Dove Lady is just the shovel guy. Yep. It's all the exact same beats, but they added Rob Schneider, Tim Curry, um, and Donald Trump and made a, I think, a worse, less, less heartfelt film than the first one.

SPEAKER_04 36:52

I do agree with that. I think it's a I would say the first one is probably a better movie. Yeah. I think I like I have more sentimental value for the second one because the second one I had on like VHS. Hell yeah. And that was the one I always watched like over and over again. And it wasn't until we, you and I, did a Home Alone a Thon one Christmas because we were living together, and that was the first time I had seen the first one in a really long time, and I was like, wow, this is actually really actually good. Whereas Home Loan 2 is like fun and silly. Yes. I do think that, however, the brick throwing scene in Home Alone 2 clears any scene in any Home Alone movie in terms of the funniness of it. It's like the peak slapstick uh for Joe Pesci and what's his nuts.

SPEAKER_01 37:44

Daniel Stern.

SPEAKER_04 37:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:46

I I can't argue with that. Uh Home Alone 3 does feature Scarlett Johansson as the sister. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

unknown 37:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:55

So I didn't think they fall off fast. And there's a talking parrot, I believe. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 37:59

As soon as Macaulay Colgan was not involved, it all went down here. That's a really good plot point as a talking parrot. I feel like we can bring that one back. Yep.

SPEAKER_14 38:07

Your mom's cheating on you.

SPEAKER_12 38:08

Or something like that. Like it's like it's repeating like what they said in the in the bedroom.

SPEAKER_01 38:12

Expect me to. This is one, before we get to pitches, there's one like final kind of thesis. And you guys feel free to have any other thoughts, but this is my final thesis about Mrs. Doubtfire after watching it again. I think it's a fantastic movie. I think that like in the ways that people say movies of this kind don't age well, I think there's a lot of things about this movie that age perfectly fine, like a wine. The thing I will posit though is that Robin Williams, I think, is a brilliant performer. I think he's a very funny man. I think he kills this role. I think they posit in this film that he is funny and entertaining, and his character is not funny or entertaining. He does voices, he makes bad jokes, nothing he says as the character to be funny amuses me. Him as the actor playing Mrs. Doubtfire amuses me.

SPEAKER_12 39:08

I I I see what you're saying.

SPEAKER_01 39:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_12 39:10

Yeah, because if you kind of distill it and you remove the Groucho Marx jokes and you remove just him being entertaining, it's just like a shell of a freak. Yeah. That's doing the weirdest shit to also the Groucho Marx jokes aren't funny. I think they're so funny. I love Groucho Marx jokes. I like Groucho Marx.

SPEAKER_01 39:29

The funniest joke he makes is, oh, I also do an impression of a hot dog. Yeah, that's the funniest.

SPEAKER_12 39:36

Yeah, I they do like little like clip rushes in that movie too. They do like little runners of jokes, and they'll just be like, Oh, we can't not show this. And it was like him being Barbara Streisand.

SPEAKER_01 39:46

Yeah, all the Yenthal shit.

SPEAKER_12 39:48

Yeah, yeah, it's too much. It's too much. I wish I could do that though at certain points in my life, you know, just like give people a runner of five different things. Here's my impression of Hunter. And the lady's like, that's not very entertaining.

SPEAKER_01 40:02

Yeah, and then they Do you find yourself amusing? Well, I used to. Until this conversation.

SPEAKER_12 40:08

Until this conversation. Yeah, man. Yeah. Oof, rough. Yeah, you obviously I was we should bring this up too, but it's like that YouTube clip where someone just made it into a horror movie and it just worked like way too well. Have you seen Oh Mr. Fire? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This plays like eerie music and he like puts the teeth in.

SPEAKER_04 40:25

Yeah, I have seen that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:27

Um they present I the movie ages well because it is honest with itself. It presents uh Robin Williams as a bad father, as a pretty useless man, and then his work as Mrs. Doubtfire makes him a better person and a more understanding and like a feminist man, I think. Um Sally Fields is not presented as a shrew. She is presented as a albeit stupid, one of the stupidest women in the world, um, woman who is frustrated at the end of a rope and like needs a change.

SPEAKER_12 41:02

I never said that. Honestly, I think like her performance is like kind of vindicates the role. I feel like it's a hard role to pull off, but I think she does it because she's like, I'm so fed up with this immature um guy who I'm no longer in love with, I no longer think you should take his friend. I'm going through this divorce, I'm reconnecting with someone else. So it's almost like that informs why the character just isn't recognizing that her husband. But I think for me, it's just more like there's a primal element to Sally Fields where I'm like, you can fucking smell him.

SPEAKER_03 41:36

I know you can. I know he date.

SPEAKER_12 41:38

You know that he's like, ooh, you know your way around the kitchen, don't you?

SPEAKER_01 41:42

But it might be that her nostrils are just inflamed by the beautiful pheromones of Pierce Brosnan as Stu, who also is presented in a very wonderful light. In a lesser movie, it would have been like he was cheating, yeah, he's just there for the puss, or like, you know, he hates the kids and is trying to figure out a way to send them off to boarding school. But when the guy's like, You, Stu, are gonna date a woman with three kids, he's like, I'm 40. You gotta settle down. And honestly, these the little angels.

SPEAKER_12 42:16

Yeah, especially the Mara Wilson woman who is by far the cutest of those kids because she's amazing, she's so fucking funny.

SPEAKER_01 42:23

She lives in our neighborhood.

SPEAKER_12 42:24

Yeah, she's so cute. Yeah, she's so cute in this point. I love I love just looking at her little face. I almost felt when he was like, How could you resist that face? I was like, I can't. I just want to eat her up.

SPEAKER_00 42:34

We're his goddamn kids, too.

SPEAKER_12 42:38

It was so good.

SPEAKER_01 42:40

Uh, any other thoughts specifically on the movie?

SPEAKER_12 42:44

Um, no, the smell thing they actually do bring up at the end because when he's having the meeting with the producer, he's like, Are you wearing ladies' perfume? And he's like, Yeah, yeah, I'm wearing ladies' perfume because I just saw my ex-girlfriend and I fucked her before I came to the table.

SPEAKER_04 43:01

So someone in the movie can smell.

SPEAKER_12 43:03

Yeah, like someone in the movie can smell they bring up the concept of scent.

SPEAKER_04 43:07

Yeah, we don't know that it might be uh a different cinematic universe. No smell.

SPEAKER_12 43:12

No, like no one can smell but this one guy that's kind of magical too. Because he just comes out of nowhere and there's like a little string flourish and he's just playing with the dinosaurs. Again, I was like, I hated that dinosaur performance thing.

SPEAKER_13 43:24

That's bad.

SPEAKER_12 43:24

And he's like, you know what?

SPEAKER_13 43:25

You've got you know what? They don't talk to the kids like they're people, they talk to them like they're little shits.

SPEAKER_01 43:33

Yeah. I don't know. Well, he's from the old age when smell was still a thing, and in this universe, smell died.

SPEAKER_04 43:43

It may have predicted COVID.

SPEAKER_01 43:45

That's true. There was an early COVID. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 43:51

And everybody the whole world lost their sense of smell. Kids today, after long COVID, don't understand dinosaurs anymore. And what they and how much they stink. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 44:02

Also, they really dunk on that old actor guy. Because at the end, like they make him like a Pee-Wees playhouse, like inept neighbor.

SPEAKER_01 44:10

That guy for a second, I was like, is that Kurt Vonnegut? And then I was like, no, it is just like an actor who always played this role, though. I'm gonna look up him up.

SPEAKER_12 44:19

It's like, yeah, tired Kurt Vonnegut looking like guy. Um, but I am really looking forward to like giving you these pitches because um I don't know. I don't know what you're gonna think. I think you're gonna think that I think Jordan's gonna think that he doesn't like them.

SPEAKER_03 44:34

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_12 44:36

Jordan once again doesn't like my Mrs. Dalfire.

SPEAKER_01 44:43

I gotta find this old man. It's so not important.

SPEAKER_12 44:48

Do you think that like you know how they say like sexual preferences and stuff can kind of like for to be developed by at a certain age by watching certain things and stuff? It's like do you think Mrs. Dalfire ever like and kind of like yeah, activated someone sexually?

SPEAKER_01 45:05

100%.

SPEAKER_12 45:06

Yeah, yeah, definitely. I can see it too. It's like, oh my god, it's something about Scottish nannies, something about like goofy guys dressed up like Scottish women.

SPEAKER_04 45:17

Yeah. Or just Pierce Bros and his whole character.

SPEAKER_12 45:21

Dude, do you know that's like the movie like before James Bond? Like some some somebody watched this movie and watched him do that flip off the fucking diving board and was like, that's that's James Bond.

SPEAKER_04 45:31

That's our James Bond. We've got it.

SPEAKER_12 45:34

Exactly. That's the only thing that were.

SPEAKER_04 45:36

What year did Miss Deffrack come out?

SPEAKER_12 45:37

I think 1992 or 1993.

SPEAKER_04 45:39

Oh, it was pre Pierce.

SPEAKER_12 45:42

Yeah, pre like Pierce Brosnan James Bond.

SPEAKER_04 45:44

Because when did what was his first one? Goldeneye?

SPEAKER_12 45:47

I think there was one before. I think it was uh fuck. What was the first Pierce Brosnan Gold uh James Bond, Jordan? Goldeneye. It was Goldeneye? Yeah. I think so.

SPEAKER_01 45:56

Yeah. Oh. It went goldeneye. Uh Tomorrow Never Dies. The World is not enough. The world is not enough.

SPEAKER_04 46:06

And then uh the one with Madonna.

SPEAKER_01 46:11

Yeah. Um, uh Die Another Day.

SPEAKER_12 46:14

Die Another Day. Yep, yep, yep. Pierce Brosnan Bond. I really did think that um Tomorrow Never Dies came out before uh Goldeneye. But I'm totally wrong. I'm sure.

SPEAKER_04 46:25

Yeah, Goldeneye was definitely the first one.

SPEAKER_01 46:27

Goldeneye, yeah, Sean Bean.

SPEAKER_04 46:29

Tomorrow Never Dies is the one with Michelle Yeo. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 46:31

And then Alan Cumming.

SPEAKER_04 46:34

Yeah. And then The World Is Not Enough is the one with Denise Richards as Christmas Jones.

SPEAKER_01 46:39

I thought Christmas only comes once a year.

SPEAKER_12 46:44

That's a good one. I love the Bond one where um he throws the uh it's um you know he throws the toaster in the bathtub and goes shocking.

SPEAKER_01 46:55

Is it uh isn't that that's uh uh goldfinger or no? It's goldfinger. Yeah, yeah. Okay, all right. So no Jude. Now that we've discussed Mrs. Doubtfire 2 that stretched her skin as far as it can go. Let's enter into the producer's room. Alex and I will play the producers. I will have final say on green lighting this project, but give us your three pitches on. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 47:20

I like that we both have sunglasses on for this. Hell yeah. That feels appropriate.

SPEAKER_01 47:23

Well, we told Jude to wear sunglasses for a cool vibe, and he didn't.

SPEAKER_12 47:26

Where was that message? Because I don't think I got it. Instagram.

SPEAKER_01 47:29

It was in our Simpsons Deep Lore.

SPEAKER_12 47:31

Uh I've unchecked it.

SPEAKER_01 47:32

Did you actually did you post more Simpsons Simpsons Deep Lore? No, not yet. I liked what you sent us though about the crackers.

SPEAKER_12 47:39

Oh, yeah. I was showing because I didn't want to like think you think I made all that up. The Florida crackers are real and they're still out there.

SPEAKER_04 47:46

It's like encrypted.

SPEAKER_12 47:48

No, dude, not only that, okay, I'm gonna read the pitches in a second, but just imagine that you know I'm telling you a little preface to my pitch. But that movie, the the book I told you about, it's called A Land Remembered. Uh-huh. It just got optioned for$200 million by like a Christian movie studio. They're making a land remembered movie. Wow. I'm not making that up.

SPEAKER_01 48:09

I didn't think you were.

SPEAKER_12 48:10

How could I? All right.

SPEAKER_01 48:12

Okay. It's gonna be like Heartland Landman. Landman.

SPEAKER_12 48:17

Let me tell you something. Oh, sorry, I just had scotches had to piss like a racehorse. Because you guys are the pretty scotches. Oh, let me get another drink then.

SPEAKER_04 48:28

Yes.

SPEAKER_12 48:29

Yeah, get us all one. And then say something like Are you wearing ladies perfume?

SPEAKER_01 48:34

If you want another drink, I only have uh orange and cranberry liqueur or pistachio cream liqueur.

SPEAKER_04 48:42

Oh, okay. You only have straight liqueur.

SPEAKER_10 48:44

Uh yeah, right now.

SPEAKER_04 48:46

That's fine.

SPEAKER_12 48:47

That's I'm not gonna drink this.

SPEAKER_01 48:49

This is 40% though, though. Orange and cranberry liqueur.

SPEAKER_04 48:53

I'll try it. Alright, I guess. I'm not above it.

unknown 48:56

Hell yes.

SPEAKER_04 48:56

Once I get started, I don't stop. Yeah, dude. And that's a fun that's a fun thing, though. I'm glad this is all recorded.

SPEAKER_12 49:03

I can show this right to my therapist.

SPEAKER_10 49:07

I edit out the correct thing.

SPEAKER_04 49:09

Good. Which is everything besides that. It's just us saying that, and then you send it to all our friends and family.

SPEAKER_12 49:16

So they can have it. She's like, you better not be drinking. You better, you and Jordan better be trying to make something funny, not just drinking and being goofballs. Have you heard?

SPEAKER_08 49:26

First one was completely sober. And it was a great episode.

SPEAKER_12 49:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:30

Last one I was sober. This one?

SPEAKER_12 49:34

No. This one I'm like. This is more of I will give myself a little bit of grace here. I've been drinking a lot this whole week and I need a run down. I need more.

SPEAKER_04 49:45

I need the shampoo. Me too. And also, you know, it's Monday. You gotta live a little. Are we all unemployed? Yes. That's why we're making a podcast. Does anybody oh that's a good point.

SPEAKER_12 50:02

Does anybody have any job prospects coming up that they like to share? Because I don't.

SPEAKER_04 50:07

I'm not looking, but don't tell the unemployment office that.

SPEAKER_12 50:10

Fuck you guys for you guys are both getting unemployment.

SPEAKER_04 50:13

Not yet, but I I just applied for it. Oh, because you're not gonna be able to get quit. Yeah. I just applied for mine. Thank you, King. Cheers, guys. It's hard to get it, you think? Yeah, I couldn't. No, the cheers are from there. Yeah. Is that like a THC thing?

SPEAKER_01 50:30

No, they're called queensy. Uh they're like canned cocktails. That's actually pretty good. What's in it? This?

SPEAKER_03 50:39

I thought you put two things in it.

SPEAKER_01 50:40

I put, yeah, the orange liqueur and the cranberry liqueur. Oh, both. Okay.

SPEAKER_12 50:44

Nice. That's so good. You know what happened yesterday? It's I was at a football party and the bears won. And some guy was like the giants. Yeah, and some guy was like, we gotta celebrate. So he brings out the Malort. Oh, hell yes. Did they change it? They did change it.

SPEAKER_01 51:03

It's so much more approachable now.

SPEAKER_12 51:04

It's better.

SPEAKER_01 51:05

Yeah. Yeah, Alex, great move mixing the seltzer with. Oh, seltz.

SPEAKER_02 51:11

It's actually pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 51:12

Um no, yeah, Malort is easy now. Yeah. Much yeah, much more. Can we both uh just either put them on the ground or on something less uh on the table? Yes, sir. This guy over there.

SPEAKER_03 51:24

Thank you. This guy over here.

SPEAKER_01 51:26

Um yeah, I like Malort and new Malort just tastes like Amaro. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 51:33

It's still a little bit astringent.

SPEAKER_12 51:36

The the ending had, I would say, a um I just drank blisterine feel that kind of lingered. Um but is it wormwood? Is the liquid yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:47

It is essentially a wormwood amoro. Um we did uh Melort Negroni. Oh. Um, which are very good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't the that which will not be named. But yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_12 52:03

We don't call it that anymore because you're mad at it. Well, I was talking about my fluence.

SPEAKER_01 52:07

That would be cool.

SPEAKER_12 52:08

Did you actually piss on it?

SPEAKER_01 52:09

Yeah, I went back. Um I was seeing the George Lucas talk show at the bellhouse, and I went to the bar right next door, uh, had a few drinks with my buddy, and then I went and I knocked on the window, and a bunch of the employees came out and like gave me a big hug, and they're like, and then I went over to the side of the building and I pissed on it. That's awesome. That's classic when I leave stuff.

SPEAKER_12 52:33

People don't do stuff like that anymore. No. Yeah. When I leave a work environment that I don't like, I just don't ever go. I avoid the street.

SPEAKER_04 52:40

That's what I do even when I leave a work environment that I do like. Yeah, yeah. I never talk to anybody ever again. Yeah, I just cut them off, just not even on purpose. Yeah, it's just how it works. Except for you.

SPEAKER_01 52:52

But I left before you did, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 52:54

Yeah, you left before I did, so that changed that changed things up. Nice.

SPEAKER_01 52:58

Alright, so we are in producer's room. Uh, we are seven scotches deep, Alex and I.

SPEAKER_12 53:03

And I just pissed like a racehorse.

SPEAKER_01 53:05

And you have half of a prosthetic hanging.

SPEAKER_12 53:08

And I smell like you smell like ladies' perfume. I actually just saw my ex-girlfriend on the way to the bathroom, and uh, she has a girlfriend. It's the 90s. Anyway, okay, so this is my first one. So Daniel Hillard is once again struggling to find work. He auditions for the touring cast of Mrs. Doubtfire the Musical, which is based on his life after he loses the rights to the character. This is like all that jazz, but it's Daniel losing himself in the role of Mrs. Doubtfire the Musical. Feels like he has to perfect the character, loses touch with the connection to his family. So it becomes sad. The whole point of Mrs. Doubtfire gets unwound. Well, like he like starts to reactivate like his actor self-becomes like a narcissistic. Exactly. He's like the fucking guy in Beethoven part two that started to go into like method.

SPEAKER_01 54:08

Oh, right. Beethoven the first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um I I love this because this is how I like to talk about the pitches, is I like to I like to always start with I love this because it's therapy talk for pitches. I love this pitch because you can have the director being like, you just don't get the character of Mrs. Doubtfire, you know, and that really fucks with his head.

SPEAKER_12 54:36

Yeah. Well, it's like that thing where it's like, you know, Groucho Marks entered the is it or not Groucho Marks, but Charlie Chaplin like entered a Charlie Chaplin Look-alike contest and came in third. You know, so it's kind of like the Mrs. Doubtfire came.

SPEAKER_01 54:49

Or Timothy Chalamet showed up at the Timothy Chalamet look-alike contest and nobody even noticed.

SPEAKER_04 54:55

No one bats in it. I think they did notice.

SPEAKER_01 54:59

Alex, this is the other part of having you on this podcast that I wanted to talk about. Is that when it's just me and Jude, I act as the like grounding wire, yeah, and he gets to be insane. I've decided as producer, your role on this podcast, because you've kind of firmly gotten in, is Killjoy.

SPEAKER_04 55:19

You get to be like the no butt at the yes and I am a no but uh person in general.

SPEAKER_01 55:26

The last time we recorded with you, you would like throw out premise. You'd be like, what do you think is like the best Christmas music to eat a cookie to? And we'd come up with something, and you'd be like, no, that's not what I meant.

SPEAKER_04 55:38

Do it actually, that's wrong.

SPEAKER_12 55:40

Actually, that's a wrong. Actually, bring it back to it over. Yeah, no, I don't like that. I'll be uh the hunter of joy. Or just like derail like every run. Like if Jordan and I like do like a character thing, just be like, those are you guys are doing funny voices. That sucks. This isn't good at all. Yeah, this is nobody like this. This whole thing stinks, and all the comments are like, Shrimp is right. We gotta go to another podcast.

SPEAKER_04 56:06

It's really like this meta commentary where it's like I'm the character that everybody's rooting for within this other podcast.

SPEAKER_01 56:13

You are the audience's like advocate here, yeah.

SPEAKER_12 56:15

Or you're like a saboteur sent out by Barstool to like go to other podcasts to ruin them. I'm standing on my tippy toes right now. You work for David Portno. You are David Portno.

SPEAKER_01 56:25

Just before he leaves NYC, he's gonna stop by my house and kill this podcast.

SPEAKER_04 56:30

Talk about Mrs. Doubtfire.

SPEAKER_01 56:32

Yeah. Fucking gay shit.

SPEAKER_10 56:35

That's what he would say.

SPEAKER_04 56:38

He says stuff like that all the time.

SPEAKER_10 56:40

You you know how it goes. One bite, Mrs. Doubtfire.

SPEAKER_12 56:45

One bite of one bite doubtfire is the pizza thing. Yeah. He only gets one bite of Mrs. Doubtfire's prosthetic. No, the carrots. Oh, the carrot. If he had had one bite of the carrots, maybe he would have changed his tune. There is one video of have you seen him doing the Staten Island Pizza Place? I don't know that he got kicked out of? No, it was like a viral one.

SPEAKER_01 57:08

But it's Is it the one where like somebody walks by with like one leg?

SPEAKER_12 57:12

Yeah, it's it's like a runner of just insane stuff happens. Yes. These two guys walk out and they're like, Don't go in there, they won't give you any business. And he's like, I'm assuming they were gay. I don't know. And the guy with like a peg leg comes over and is like, World War II is hell. And he was like, Thank you for serving. Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:31

There's something where it's like that guy is carrying a purse. He's got like no arms, and he's carrying a purse, and then all of a sudden Portnoy's like, How is he carrying that purse?

SPEAKER_12 57:40

Yeah, and then like a homeless lady comes out, it's like, give me a slice of that pizza. I hate you. And he's like, No, I'm not getting the pizza. I don't know what it was like the only video where I kind of like was entertained by him, but I think it's just because you know he didn't know. He's getting bullied. It's the circumstances, yeah. As long as he's getting bullied, then it just seemed like a bad like improv scene, you know, it's just like too many people were throwing out crazy characters at him, and he was like had to remain grounded because he was a person.

SPEAKER_04 58:09

But it was just Staten Island being how it is.

SPEAKER_01 58:13

I have two questions about this pitch, Jude. One is is this the Mrs. Datfire the musical that exists in our world, or is it a completely separate entity uh in their world?

SPEAKER_12 58:24

I think it's the one in our world. Okay, because I think the world is like too connected right now, so everything kind of if it's a sequel, it probably has to like take place in you know our current world.

SPEAKER_01 58:34

So this is separate than the COVID, early COVID COVID happened. Yes, twice now.

SPEAKER_12 58:41

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 58:42

Okay. Um the other question I have is what you know, he's pretty well established at the end of the final at uh the first movie. What would cause him to, you know, get back like to have that lapse where he becomes unemployed again, where he forgets to trademark or copyright his character?

SPEAKER_12 59:05

I think the producer guy turns on him. You know, like he's like, let me take you out to bridges one more time. And he's like, I fucking took you for all you're worth, you dumb bitch. Why did you sign this fucking idiot? Blah blah blah. He like tears up the contract, it's like um fucking there will be blood. Yeah. And then he's like, No, you can't do this to me. Or you could do this to me. That's my impression of a hot dog. Whatever. You know, he he does some like groucho marks routine, and then he's destitute. You know, he's broken because you know, he lost his beloved character, he lost his income, the court lady comes back and it's like we can't see your kids anymore until you get another job. I thought he repaired the relationship with this man.

SPEAKER_04 59:49

Not necessarily. The court just steps in and says, actually Yeah, yeah, the movie says, Redo. You can't do that. Redo.

SPEAKER_01 59:56

Well, okay, so this is this is the method acting thing that we we need to discuss is he starts to lose the relationship of his kids, but then he realizes that that feeling feeds into the character of Doubtfire. That's why he can't play Doubtfire anymore, is because it it it you know gestated in a time where he was separated from his family.

SPEAKER_12 1:00:19

And desperate too. Like he inadvertently introduced Mrs. Doubtfire to this producer, like in the same way that like someone walks in on you taking a shit and is like, that's brilliant, you know? And so that's like what what gave birth to this kind of like Pee-wee Herman setup.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:36

But comfortable Doubtfire just doesn't have the same He's bored, the Bernetic energy is no longer there, yeah, because it derives on the chaos, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:46

I think that maybe as his family life Well, you said his family life gets better.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:52

No, it gets it degrades because he's focusing on this character.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:57

Yeah, it's like it's at first it gets better, like in the immediate aftermath of the movie. Oh, yeah, that's like the best it's heaven, yeah. And then it degrades because he doesn't know what to do when he's given something good.

SPEAKER_12 1:01:08

Yeah, when he's not like frantically dressing up like a woman and tricking county employees, yeah. He doesn't have a reason for living.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:15

So in the universe of the sequel, is does the Mrs.

SPEAKER_12 1:01:20

Doubtfire movie exist or it's like his story? No, the movie Mrs. Doubtfire doesn't exist, but the show at the end exists. And then that is kind of like he he sold off the rights to his life of this story. That's they're then became the Mrs.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:37

Doubtfire musical that exists in our world.

SPEAKER_12 1:01:40

And now he's like, I've gotta reclaim it by auditioning and making them not know that I'm fucking Daniel Hillard. And then that's how it becomes like a Bob Fossey. Oh, he's doing it under wraps. And it's for in a sick, sick obsession.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:56

Yeah. He's trying to relive. And what if because of woke? Yes, they want to hire a woman to play Mrs. Doubtfire, so then he dresses up like woman to get part of Mrs. Doubtfire. Dressing up like a woman dressing up like a man, dressing up like a woman. Yeah. It's like a Tootsie Mrs. Doubtfire combo.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:16

That's I want you to run with that if you choose this. Okay. All right. Give me the second pitch. Let's move on to worse ones, okay? All right. Danielson goes through the same thing. Danielson from Daniel did Danielson from Sweden. Danielson. Yeah. Goes through the same thing that his fathers did. Uh, and I mean one father, the Mrs. Doubtfire. He's recently divorced and revives Mrs. Doubtfire from his dad's prosthetic collection, which he keeps in his closet.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:47

So this is just so he just revives Mrs. Delfire. Is that the end? He just revives Mrs. Delfire just for the thrill? Yeah, but it's the son with the weird. To live in his father's skin.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:58

He's in the same situation, he's in the exact same situation, like Jude said.

SPEAKER_12 1:03:01

So it's He visits his uncle, he visits his uncle. Yeah.

SPEAKER_15 1:03:05

Who's Del Have Me Fire Steen? Yeah. Oh, you want to make you want me to make you a pussy?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:11

So many people from Mrs. Delfire are dead. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_12 1:03:15

Oh, ooh.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:16

Ooh.

SPEAKER_12 1:03:16

Sally Field's still going.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:18

Yeah, she's good.

SPEAKER_12 1:03:19

In memoriam segment. Oh my god. Uh the kids are still alive. Mara Wilson's alive. So this is like more alive than dead, Jordan. That was a terrible observation.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:28

Bus driver dead. Social worker dead. Social worker dead. Robin Williams dead. Harvey Feierstein dead. The guy who played the producer, dead.

SPEAKER_12 1:03:43

Mara Wilson, very much alive. Other two kids, super alive.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:47

Performing at QED in Astoria. Mm-hmm. Um, okay, so this is kind of Mara Wilson. It's no. You could look up Mara Wilson and it would say book reading at QED. I'm kidding. So this is kind of like a National Lampoons Vacation Reboot with Ed Helms.

SPEAKER_12 1:04:09

It's just the same movie kind of it's the second idea that I had to because I came up with two ideas and I was like, shit, I've got to come up with a third one for the podcast. So I made it the second one, so the third one's kind of better.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:21

Okay. Well, I like this one. Because it's like we could just get out Ed Helms to play this on. Easily. Yeah. Do you think he could do the Mrs. Dowfire? Ed Helms? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:34

Absolutely. Yes. Yeah. You know who I think we also, going back to that conversation, overlooked? John Krasinski.

SPEAKER_12 1:04:41

John Krasinski. He just keeps looking. Every time he fucking gaslights his ex-wife, he just looks at the camera and it's like, ooh.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:50

I'm thinking Steve Carrill.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:53

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:54

Because he's good at the dramatic parts of roles. And also, I think he would make a wonderful looking older woman. Yeah. Brian Cranston, too.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:03

He's little and hairy. Like Robin Williams.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:06

Yes. He is little and hairy. And he's got a little bit of that frenetic vibe as well. When he needs it.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:13

Brian Cranston, famous voice actor, too.

SPEAKER_12 1:05:16

Yeah. I think Brian Cranston could really, really pull it off. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:21

I think that would be nice as well.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:24

Both both Steve Carell and Brian Cranston could hit those emotional beats too.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:31

What if you think about this? They were it was Brian Cranston and Steve Carell a gay couple. And they're both doing a Mrs. Doubtfire situation for the same family. So then it's like double swap. Like and Sally Fields. They got two nannies, neither of them know that the other one, because then it's like I gotta be the nanny, so we gotta get another nanny for the my off days, my visitation days, and then they're both. So they're both ex-married to they're both they're each other's they're married to each other. Okay. Or ex married.

SPEAKER_08 1:06:07

I know that's hard for you to conceive of. Wait, wait, wait. Two men.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:12

Oh, that's Brian Cranton Steve Krill married. Okay. They're not friends. Well, they're not roommates. They're not just roommates.

SPEAKER_12 1:06:19

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_09 1:06:19

They're friends of Dorothy.

SPEAKER_12 1:06:21

Friends of Dorothy. So Oh, I get it now. Now they use that euphemism from 1967. Now I understand that they're homosexual. So they're married, or well, their marriage is on the rocks, but they're still married. But no, but I'm understanding, like, why because you're saying like they're going to be a nanny for a family?

SPEAKER_04 1:06:41

No, for their own family.

SPEAKER_12 1:06:42

Same as Mrs.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:43

Delphire, except they both do it. Two Mrs. Delphires.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:49

Because it's okay, so this is in a post-Trump America where the government is threatening to take away all children from homosexual couples.

SPEAKER_12 1:07:00

So they have to dress up and that's a lot more than I was thinking, but that's good too. So it's taken away from them. But Jordan gives a precedent because I didn't understand like why. You know what I mean? I didn't understand.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:10

Well, I wasn't doing a very good job of explaining it. No, we're essentially the exact same situation as Mrs. Delpire, but with two dads, both doing the stuff. Oh, what if they're getting divorced? Yeah, they're getting divorced.

SPEAKER_08 1:07:21

They're both losing the stage in some way. The nanny for the other one. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's what I was trying to say.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:28

Yeah, they're both nanny, but it's like one nanny's in and they're like, oh shit, I gotta do my go do my nanny thing, and then another dad comes back.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:38

The schedule is like, well, I'm always unavailable from Thursday, Friday from 4 p.m.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:47

school pickup to dinner time. I'm not available to see the kids. And the kids are just like a part-time job.

SPEAKER_12 1:07:54

They're just on completely known who they are. Yeah. And they're like, this is so annoying. Like, it's annoying to pretend that I don't know that you're my dad's. Yeah. Everybody knows. That's good.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:06

Okay, I like, I like, I like these ideas. I like this. Because it, Jude, you have to admit. Terrible pitch. Oh, yeah. Oh, awful. Awful.

SPEAKER_14 1:08:17

100%.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:18

I knew when I wrote it. I like the imagery, though, of like him going into the closet and opening up a trunk, and it's like the suit is in there.

SPEAKER_12 1:08:29

And it's very hidden. Yeah. And it's like musty.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:33

But when he opens it up, it's like pulp fiction and it's like, oh. Or maybe one of those classic.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:39

Oh, that's so it's nice. In my understanding of it, it was like if like, yeah, if like it's like the sins of the father sort of thing. It's like Luke Skywalker opening up a closet to see the Darth Vader.

SPEAKER_12 1:08:51

A lot of like Polaroids is like him dressed up in Doubtfire. And you're like positions. He's going down the same Darth. Oh, yeah, he was like into this sexually.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:00

No, not sexually. Not necessarily.

SPEAKER_12 1:09:03

This is like a very like unsexual movie, too. Going back to Mrs. Delfire, like they really like removed the idea of like kinks and perversions.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:12

What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_12 1:09:13

I don't know. They just like, is it like that's not true at all? I felt that way.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:18

The bus driver wants to fuck Mrs.

SPEAKER_08 1:09:20

Dutfield.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:22

The bus driver has like an R Crum-esque uh type.

SPEAKER_13 1:09:27

Yeah, yeah. He's like you're a big hairy lady with huge. Wash me. Meditarian. Yeah, make me make me your slave. I'm just a sweaty, neb ish little freak. And I love your hair. Not the one on your head, the one on your back. All of them actually seem like one.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:46

And I do think Robin Williams plays a sex creep in this movie. He's constantly like leering at women. He did it once. He does it a couple times. He's pretty like normal.

SPEAKER_12 1:09:58

You know. Like he's like, he's you know, you're walking in the park and you see like a nice looking lady and you're dressed up like a fucking 60-year-old Scottish woman. Oh, he does it twice.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:09

I don't know. I just I whenever a man looks at a woman in an inappropriate way, I cancel him.

SPEAKER_12 1:10:16

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:16

That's a part of your that's a part of my your the Ten Commandments. Yeah. Um I but I I I think it being non-sexual is like that's normal. It's about a divorce. Uh they divorced couples still fuck.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:35

There's a whole messy aftermath where they're like, but she meets Stu right away, and Stu Stu lay in goodpipe, you know.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:41

Um, but Stu's making up for his tiny genitals. That's why he has an expensive Mercedes.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:49

Oh, Mercedes, yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:10:50

Yeah. My dude, my Mrs. Doubtfire is really bad. I gotta work on it.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:54

I think I might, not to reference the opening, but I think I might replace your Mrs. Doubtfire with a good Mrs. Doubtfire. Yeah, it's really bad. Woo! Hello! See, that's even better than what you were doing.

SPEAKER_12 1:11:06

Yeah, because it's like it's one of those things where you need to like get a little warm up. You gotta loosen up. You gotta go to the bullpen and it's six seven scotchy.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:12

Mrs. Doubtfire is so often speaking in a soft gentle tone. Gentle tone.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:18

Little Scottish lady kind of thing. Like, yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:21

The oo only happens a couple times.

SPEAKER_12 1:11:24

You're doing it every word. Yeah, but that's like the you know, that's like you gotta warm up. Mm-hmm. You gotta hit the highs and lows.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:30

Hello, dear. Hello, hello, hello, she calls, she calls and she says, Oh, I had so 15 beautiful years.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:41

I haven't seen this movie in a long time, so I can't vouch for any of this. I think the only time I saw it was on a bus.

SPEAKER_12 1:11:46

Mrs. Doubtfire as like a cryptid or like is like pretty scary. You know, it's like for some reason this character like got I don't know, some kind of curse brought Mrs. Doubtfire like to life, and she like roams around some kind of like weird town, and it's not human. It's not human. Yeah. You know?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:10

I one, we can't just always start talking about cryptids when shrimp beef is on the podcast.

SPEAKER_12 1:12:17

I I didn't even start talking about it. No, he didn't. I didn't. In all fairness, it was me. But I'm like, it's it's creepy to think about. I bring a vibe though.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:25

I did think about when you brought up the dark, the sins of our father, yeah, kind of like fucked up Doubtfire outfit. I did think of like Leatherface as kind of like this is the next generation of Doubtfire. Is that yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:40

I wasn't thinking of it in as much of a horror way, as much as like a just well, like I said, Star Wars was the main thing I was thinking of. Like, he's taking on the the evil ways. Yeah. Not that Mrs. Doubtfire was an inherently evil character in any way.

SPEAKER_12 1:12:55

But in this universe, she could use her powers for fucking evil. You never know what she's capable of. Yeah, she's sneaking into people's homes under false pretext.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:04

Putting Kayan Pepper in fucking whatever. She almost kills him.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:07

I mean, she goes and saves him. She could have continued to do that. She could have not we don't know. Here's something important that I feel like we need to st get out there. We don't know if that was limited to only that family. He could have been missed out firing on the off days in a in a bunch of other houses. Yeah. We don't know. Yeah. Stealing people's panties or something.

SPEAKER_12 1:13:32

That's the next movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or the one before it. That's really scary to think about because he is kind of at that age where he can't.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:40

Don't say that's the next movie. Like, that's not the fucking premise of this podcast. I know, I know, I know. I know when I said it.

SPEAKER_13 1:13:48

I know what I was doing when I said it.

SPEAKER_12 1:13:51

But it's like he's doubt fired. We got doubt fired.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:55

Yeah. That's like a criminal conspiracy of like the wet bandits. Similar to the wet bandits. Yeah. He's just going from house to house. He could start stealing. Other things. Wives. Children. Children. It could become like the black phone.

SPEAKER_12 1:14:12

It's like getting divorced and like the grabber? Yeah. He could be the grabbelle. Ethan Hawk would be a really bad choice for Mrs. Delfire.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:21

Yeah, Ethan Hawk doesn't have a ton of rain.

SPEAKER_12 1:14:24

Yeah, they'd be like, you're fucking Ethan Hawk. I know that.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:27

I know you're Ethan Hawk under there.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:30

You still have a mustache because you thought that made you more legitimate as an actor. Yeah. Okay, so we're pitch.

SPEAKER_12 1:14:36

Third pitch. Okay. Well, I'm gonna start with the title for this one. I I like that. I think you're gonna like this one. It's called Mrs. Doubtfire Goes Viral.

unknown 1:14:47

God damn.

SPEAKER_12 1:14:48

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:14:49

Cell phones and movies, am I right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:14:51

So anyway, in 2019, a novel coronavirus was identified in Wuhan. I'm just kidding. That's not viral. Alright, Mrs. Doubtfire goes viral. Mara Wilson now runs a social media company. She decides to ask her dad to use Mrs. Doubtfire or a Mrs. Doubtfire type character to play pranks as an old lady. She puts it on TikTok and she becomes super famous. But the fans demand meet and greets. They really need to meet this new backflip and old lady in real life because that's what they expect. They have to keep up the ruse for interviews, etc. And he becomes so into the character that he fears he's gonna let him down.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:41

Here's my question to you. So all the people think that they don't know that Mrs. Delfire is still a man in a in a costume, a prosthetic mask.

SPEAKER_12 1:15:51

I think okay, so this is what I'm thinking. I think Mrs. Delphire is it's it's not gonna be Mrs. Delfire. Yeah, it's like a new lady. But like he makes a new old lady that can skateboard. So it's like bad grandpa, basically. It's not basically it's exactly the same as bad grandpa.

SPEAKER_08 1:16:10

But it's cool grandma.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:11

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:16:12

If it was Johnny Knoxville's son running the company. Yeah, but imagine like big bad grandpa bad grandpa. Imagine bad grandpa wasn't released in theaters and like we're all in on the joke. It's a TikTok account called like badass granny. Yeah, and people think it's real. People think it's real, they love it, they can't get a fucking off of it, right? So if they think that badass granny is fucking Daniel Hillard, they're not gonna fucking watch it.

SPEAKER_11 1:16:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:39

And Daniel Hillard is also famous in this universe still.

SPEAKER_12 1:16:42

Or like Yeah, like a known known actor. As an IMDB. Yeah, exactly. That would ruin the bit. Right. Maybe. And Amara Wilson's career, the cute ass Mara Wilson is like depends on it.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:02

Yeah, I guess my question is what's the movie? Because like, am I just rooting for Mara Wilson's career here? Is that all okay?

SPEAKER_12 1:17:11

She looks at the camera, she's like, help me out. No, because like it's like they get into creating it's the same thing as Mrs. Doubtfire, but for society.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:20

Does it perhaps bring them closer together?

SPEAKER_12 1:17:23

Like always, every second.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:25

That's okay. I feel like that may be a important part of like their relationship, maybe got strained, and then he was like, She's like, Oh, my company's struggling. He's like, Well, shut up for me to act. Yeah, and he's like, Well, because she's trying to be a Nepo baby, but it's not working. Right, because her dad's not helping her out. And then he's like, their relationship is fractured, and their money died maybe in Iraq, unrelated to the war. Had a heart attack. She died in Iraq unrelated to the war. She had a heart attack and had a layover.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:00

No, Stu, Stu had some like holdings in you know, Baghdad. That's Iran. Wait, no, Baghdad was Iran.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:07

Yeah, no, Baghdad's Afghanistan.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:09

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:09

Stu had some holding. Yeah, right. Cut this out.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:12

Yeah, Baghdad is in Iraq. Stu has some holdings in the Middle East, and he like gets her to you know interior design them. And then she goes there and fucking IED fucking war. It's unrelated to war. It is, but it is a it is a random unexploded, horrific, yeah. It takes place years later.

SPEAKER_12 1:18:37

Yeah, it takes place in the same universe as like from Desert Storm. Yeah. From Desert Storm. From Desert Storm. Oh my god, so it's really recent. She's like, I have to go to Iraq. You know what? You can watch the kids for three weeks. I've got to go to Iraq with Stu. Oh sure, honey.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:51

She goes to Iraq.

SPEAKER_08 1:18:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:53

She fucking blows up. And then his relationship with his kids, because you know, you you can tell the other two are smoke shows, they're just gonna have a fucking beautiful career doing whatever they need to do. But Mar Wilson are ugly kids. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:10

I'm sorry. So their relationship is fractured in one way or another. It doesn't have to and this is how they become closest.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:16

I'm writing it. It in if it's happening, it involves an ID.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:19

It involves an IED. Yeah. She's getting blown up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:23

Maybe all three of the kids, all two of the kids, the two kids except Mar Wilson are in the same like car with they all get blown up.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:32

Yeah, they all get blown up. So they're the last two remaining members of the family.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:19:35

Can I tell you something that happened to me yesterday? That's unrelated. I'm sorry. I just need to say this. You may. I went to like my friend that I've I knew in college, and he was like, he we invited him. So we were hanging out at his house yesterday, but the week before he came over to our house with our friends, and he was like, Oh yeah, your friends, like the one that you're like in a polycule with. What what are you talking about? Wait, which one so he so my wife and I have two polycule? No, we don't have a polycule. But we're not in it.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:09

No, no, but like we manage a polycule, but we're not involved.

SPEAKER_12 1:20:12

No, but this okay, so I'm just not I'm not exaggerating, I'm not making anything up. He was like, Oh yeah, so we have a a couple that are friends, and we're we all hang out. We hang out a lot, we're like friends, we got to dinner, we you know, watch sports and stuff, and the guy was like, Yeah, the couple that you guys are in a polycule with. And I was like, I'm not offended, because if if I was in a polycule, I guess I'd be offended if I like was trying to hide it or something. But I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? What gives off polycule about that? You know? Jordan, you look like you got something to say about this.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:45

I mean No. You could just be swingers.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:52

I could just have friends.

SPEAKER_12 1:20:54

But that's the thing. It's like, is that what having friends and like now means that I'm fucking them? Where does this guy live? 31st Sunway?

SPEAKER_01 1:21:04

Not the friend, the guy who sa accused you of being an Apollo.

SPEAKER_12 1:21:07

That's the 31st and Signway. That's the guy.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:09

Why would he assume that?

SPEAKER_12 1:21:11

Because we hang out with this couple a lot.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:14

Is he single?

SPEAKER_12 1:21:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:16

Uh any he wasn't trying to be funny. No. This is this is the male loneliness epidemic at work here. But he's like, but he's like, When they see people having friends, they assume fucking.

SPEAKER_12 1:21:34

Maybe, I mean, maybe, but like the other thing too is like he he's got a job, he's um, you know, he's like in production and stuff. He's like a pretty normal guy, and like, I mean, he'd he'll be like kind of a hater. Um, but he does A woman hater, an incel? No, like a hater, like, oh, your team sucks, kind of guy. Oh, okay. But like imagine being like, oh, like, oh, you guys are in a polycule with them.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:57

Do you think that was his way of asking if you were? Like he didn't want to ask, but he just like accused you, so then you can if you were, you would just say.

SPEAKER_12 1:22:07

Maybe. I don't know. All I know is like it wasn't I wasn't mad, but I was like, I want to know why you thought that. Stop doing that. It's a pretty aggressive assumption. Yeah. So it's it's on him. He's an idiot.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:20

Um I I do like this though, is that maybe he's seeding the thought into your mind because he thinks you're all hot.

SPEAKER_12 1:22:29

Oh. Oh, like he's like real. Like he goes at his mind. He's encouraging you.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:34

Yeah, he's like, oh, you know that couple that you're in a poly. You you you guys fuck. Like you you fuck other people, right? Okay.

SPEAKER_12 1:22:42

That's fair. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know him that well.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:44

You just dip in his toe, the toe of his penis.

SPEAKER_12 1:22:50

You know, they say the tip is the toe of the penis. Yeah. The tip is the toe. Yeah, I always say that. God damn. If you had little penises on your feet, that would solve all my problems.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:59

Yeah, or if you had little toes on your penis.

SPEAKER_12 1:23:06

Dude, Jordan brought up Mr. Toad's Wild Ride and like he goes to hell, apparently. Does that happen?

SPEAKER_04 1:23:13

I don't know. I feel like you brought this up with me as well. Was it all three of us? Yeah. Last time? Yeah, I just didn't I bring it up. Right.

SPEAKER_10 1:23:20

This is good. This is good content, dude.

SPEAKER_12 1:23:24

Like, I can't remember. You remember this? I can't remember that. Who brought this up? Did you bring it up because like it's like Dante's circle of hell, and you just assigned Mr. Toad to a circle, like for being covetous? No, Mr.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:36

Toad's wild ride, or especially on the ride uh at the amusement park that which shall not be named, uh, he goes to hell.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:45

Why can't it be named? Is it cancelled?

SPEAKER_01 1:23:48

Disney?

SPEAKER_04 1:23:50

Oh. I didn't know that's where it was. There's no way that ride still exists.

SPEAKER_12 1:23:54

I will tell you that much. It's definitely now like Moana's woke adventure. That's true. Got him, got him, got him.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:02

It's got him. Can you imagine?

SPEAKER_12 1:24:13

Jesus Christ. That's what they're actually afraid of, though, I feel like.

SPEAKER_08 1:24:19

Well, because it's happening. Have you been to Disneyland recently? Tomorrowland is now like today. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:24:29

Just just bullshit.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:31

Um, is what's what's what's a good joke? Tomorrowland is like, what's a what's a good joke? What's a good joke? Tomorrowland is like freaking powerful.

SPEAKER_10 1:24:42

They're not using oil.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:46

Fossil fuels.

SPEAKER_12 1:24:48

Using fossil fuels at Tomorrowland. No, absolutely not. Um, dude, the fucking people. Do you remember the fuck there's a thing there called like the people mover? And uh it's a show. And it's not happening at Disney. It's not a cryptid, dude. It's a crypto.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:06

It was a cryptid. I was about to say it's a crap. I said something happened to you at Disney. No, nothing. The people mover got you.

SPEAKER_12 1:25:14

It's the grabber.

SPEAKER_08 1:25:15

It's the grabber from the bar.

SPEAKER_12 1:25:17

It's the grabber. No, no, no. But it was like it would. Okay, Mrs. Doubtfire. Yeah. It would move you through different eras of humanity. So you started in like the caves, and it was like a man and a woman. It's a ride? It's a ride. It's like a show ride.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:33

The people mover is a vehicle, and it's not a person or a character, right?

SPEAKER_12 1:25:39

But the show is existed. I fucking saw it. I know what it was. I know what I saw. I was moved. And it's like, not emotionally, but like it's like a it moves me. It moves. It moves you. Through time. Yeah, but it's always a family. So it's like you're in a living room in a different era. So like the first one is a caveman. He's like, honey, did you make the Jaguar?

SPEAKER_04 1:26:02

You know This is giving Cracker House energy.

SPEAKER_12 1:26:06

No, it dude, it is real. It's real. That's what you said about the Cracker House.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:11

I sent you evidence of the Cracker House. You you posit these things, or you like you talk about these things, and you never actually say what they are.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:20

I'm tell I'm trying to fucking tell you. You're explaining the experience of being in it. Not what it is.

SPEAKER_08 1:26:27

You're saying it's a family.

SPEAKER_12 1:26:31

It is a family.

SPEAKER_08 1:26:31

So it's like So the People Mover is a family.

SPEAKER_12 1:26:34

The people mover is Is it a room? Is it a vehicle? It's a show. It's a show. It's a show. In a theater? In a theater that moves people. So when you're not but not emotionally, physically.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:49

Does the it does move you physically? It moves you physically. So the the audience moves.

SPEAKER_12 1:26:55

Yes, and the show, it's like the show is like a circle in the middle, and the audience gets moved around the show, and it's like different eras of humanity. So it's like a family that is cooking Bronosaurus. Okay. They're cave people. Um, that never happened. Well, in the Flintstones, it fucking did. I don't fucking know. I'm not a fucking paleontologist, dude. I am a I'm a person that's being moved. Alright? Next era. You were a victim of the people mover. Betsy Ross, did you make me my pie? Immediately after.

SPEAKER_08 1:27:29

It goes, this is the most jingoistic shit I've ever heard. It goes from the Paleolithic era to pre-revolution of era.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:38

Nothing else happened in between. Nothing happened in between.

SPEAKER_08 1:27:40

She's selling the flag and they're like, Betsy Ross, did you make a pie? Did you cook Jaguar?

SPEAKER_12 1:27:45

Okay, yeah, let's go. Okay, alright. Um, Julius Caesar's wife, did you fuck a gall? I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:53

Sorry, I had to make you think of something outside of the last 300 years of the human experience.

SPEAKER_12 1:27:59

Okay, I didn't make. The people mover, Jordan. I'm telling you what I saw on the people mover.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:04

You are. Don't say you didn't make the people mover, because before in this space, before we had heard you mention the words the people mover, it did not exist to us.

SPEAKER_12 1:28:14

I'm shocked.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:15

So you are creating in this space the people mover?

SPEAKER_12 1:28:18

No, I'm not creating. I'm telling you about a thing called the People Mover that existed and might still exist. Okay? And they sing a song in between. Every time the move it I I kind of remember the song.

SPEAKER_11 1:28:31

It goes like, is a great big beautiful tomorrow. Shining at the top of every day. And there's a great big beautiful tomorrow. Just one dream away.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:45

That's more to that song than I remember of most songs. I couldn't. Exactly. How could I make that up? I don't think that you made it up. I just think that you know more about it than you're letting on.

SPEAKER_12 1:28:58

No, no. I'm telling you everything. I'm I'm I'm shooting from the dick.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:04

I don't think a uh ride like that would exist anymore. I think these days it would be something like Elsa's woke journey. Elsa's woke coaster. Yeah, Elsa's woke coaster.

SPEAKER_12 1:29:13

But anyway, the point of it is at the end they go to the future. And it's just Amazon devices, essentially. But it's like it's pitching you this in like 1997, and the mom is like, Toaster, make hot liquid. Toaster make hot liquid. Oh, oh, sorry, microwave. That's what I meant.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:36

And that's the future's voice activated.

SPEAKER_12 1:29:38

Yeah, it's all voice activated shit. And it kind of looks like the Jetsons, and there's like a 70s kind of like, you know those like fireplaces that look like UFOs? Yep. That's it.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:47

It's an old bride. I would love if in this post-COVID, post-early COVID world that Mrs. Dadfire takes place in, there is some sort of like retro futurism that ends up like taking aesthetic hold of the world that does slightly separate it from our current existence to give that like definition to it.

SPEAKER_12 1:30:10

Okay, so I was I was talking to my friend about this. 2005? That's kind of a vibe. Like Lincoln Navigator.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:19

The element?

SPEAKER_12 1:30:20

The element? Yeah, yeah. There was a maximalist energy. And we still had like Nokia's and a lot of like chunky texture.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:30

Do you remember what a Mac looked like at that time?

SPEAKER_12 1:30:32

Yeah, the see-through one. Yeah, dude. It's like, am I in a fucking Apple store? No, because they're not around yet. Maybe there's one in fucking three towns over.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:43

I mean, we're getting our we are getting our iPods. We're just well before the iPhone, right?

SPEAKER_12 1:30:49

It's iPods before iPhone. Yeah. So maybe like Mrs. Doubtfire 2 can take place in that universe.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:56

Yeah, smartphones never came to be.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:58

And that way we don't have to write them into the movie. That's good. In the Doubtfire verse.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:03

What replaces them? Maybe some sort of like psychic bean? Psychic bean that you put in your ear or under your tongue.

SPEAKER_12 1:31:15

It's like in Dune when like the computers are like people. Yeah. Oh boy. That's wild.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:24

Nothing has to replace it.

SPEAKER_12 1:31:26

Yeah, that's true. Do you want to know an intrusive thought that I've I've had before? No. No, you don't want to know it? Oh my god. You're gonna say it anyway.

SPEAKER_07 1:31:36

I know, well, I have to now.

SPEAKER_12 1:31:38

Let's hear it. Beetlejuice is a really like novel idea. Like there's no like there's no derivative of it of Beetlejuice. It's like the most creative thing I think I've ever thought of. Wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:00

Are you aware of the movie? That there's a movie based on it.

SPEAKER_14 1:32:05

I made them up.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:06

I've had this idea for this thing called Beetlejuice for so long.

SPEAKER_12 1:32:10

Well, I got bad news for you, buddy. No, I'm saying it's it's an idea that's been in my brain for a while. Just Beetle idea Beetlejuice. No, no, I'm telling you that I think it's so original. Like I don't know how they would have thought of that. Like, I don't think AI could come up with that.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:30

Yeah. I I agree because AI can't come up with anything. It only pulls information that exists and makes like a direct monster. You know what I mean? But like But we literally talked about this on one of our podcasts about how the bureaucracy of the afterlife is something that's like a fun, explored topic in other media.

SPEAKER_12 1:32:56

Before Beetlejuice, though?

SPEAKER_01 1:32:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_12 1:32:58

Okay. Alright. So maybe like it's a wonderful life kind of deal.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:02

Yeah, there's also the one that I mentioned, and now I'm gonna have to fucking do this again. It's like Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep.

SPEAKER_12 1:33:11

But I'm saying, like the idea of having to do like a reverse exorcism to get rid of humans, because the aftermath is this or the afterlife is this like bureaucratic mess is so fucking creative. And like, how did they make that movie, right? Because it's like I'm gonna pitch this thing to you. Because even now, if I like pitch something like kind of wild like that, I'd be like, where's you know, where's where's Superman?

SPEAKER_04 1:33:42

There's no Marvel.

SPEAKER_12 1:33:43

I peak.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:33:46

You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Tim Burton.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:51

He's kind of a weird guy. He's got some crazy, crazy ideas.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:56

But now they would have to you'd have to make that through A24. Yeah. Yeah. It would be like Ariaster's Beetlejuice.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:05

Yeah, but these days it would be like it would be like Ariaster's woke woke juice.

SPEAKER_08 1:34:13

Beetle Beetle them. Yeah, beetle them.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:19

Um Defending Your Life is about Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep being like dead, and they have to like argue their reason to get into heaven in like limbo court. Okay, so that's not a great idea.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:30

There's also, well, this is not as bureaucratic, but I guess in a way it is, there's no exit to play.

SPEAKER_12 1:34:36

Yes. Salt. Yeah, but I don't think he was thinking about that when he like made You know what they say about Beetlejuice? No, I don't I think he I think Beetlejuice is like a being that was like visiting different creatives, and you think he went to Salthe.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:50

And he was like, no. Do you think do you think a Beetlejuice uh would be like uh hell is other people? They're no exit.

SPEAKER_05 1:35:01

I'll tell you what.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:03

Not kidding. You gotta give us a Beetlejuice now. I do? Yeah. Yeah, because Beetlejuice. Give us like a little bit of that juice.

SPEAKER_12 1:35:08

Give us the juice, beetle me, beetle my juice. I don't know if I can.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:11

And then you also have to do after that uh Mrs. Datfire.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:14

Oh man, I haven't even really seen it in its entirety. She's British. I thought she was Scottish.

SPEAKER_12 1:35:20

Whatever. Her and she's like They touch on it in a moment because uh Piers Brosnan is like, oh, I owned how I owned a whole. But he's like, oh, I own property in London. Like, where are you from?

SPEAKER_01 1:35:32

She's like, oh, here and there. Here, there, everywhere. And then he goes, Yeah, your accent is kind of muddled. Yeah. Don't you go to your tan? Yeah, it so is your tan.

SPEAKER_12 1:35:42

And then he leans in and smells her, and it's like, you smell like a man. Stink like a hair. I smell man flesh.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:50

Uh perhaps his database. It smells manflesh. What is that? From Lord of the Rings? Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:35:59

Looks like meats back on the menu, boys. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:01

It's like meats back on the menu, boys.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:03

Alright. Beetlejuice. I have to think of what he was.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:08

What's the context?

SPEAKER_12 1:36:09

Just any Beetlejuice like Beetlejuice? Beetlejuice getting his driver's license. Because he's now got to drive. He's got a and it's like a CDL. He's got to drive a big truck.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:18

He's got to get his uh Beetlejuice has to deal with the bureaucracy of the living world. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:36:23

Oh my god. He's just trying to feed his family, his Beetle kids. So he's got to get a CDL license. His Beetlewife. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:32

I'm gonna go to Cincinnati. What? Why do you have to go to Cincinnati?

SPEAKER_04 1:36:42

Oh man. He'd probably be like, what Beetlejuice be like? If Beetlejuice has a DMV. Oh god. I can't even do the- I don't even know how to do the voice. He'd probably be like. Well, what do you mean I need the voice model ID?

SPEAKER_05 1:37:04

That was unbelievable. That was actually better than I was expecting. Thank you. Yeah. What kind of ID? Just a bunch of Forbes.

SPEAKER_12 1:37:16

Um, so it's about the director. And this has nothing to do with Mrs. Doubtfire, but it has to do with Christopher Columbus. Uh, but Chris Columbus details bizarre experience with Chevy Chase that led him to quit as original director on Christmas Vacation. So apparently the long and short of this article is that Chris Columbus was supposed to direct uh Christmas Vacation. All right, and he was signed on to do it. Um with Vanity Fair, Columbus recounted connecting with John Hughes, uh, who was rep by the same agent at the time. So I guess John Hughes wrote the screenplay. Yep. Um, signed him on, uh, he met Chevy Chase, uh, and he was excited to work with him, but he realized that he couldn't work with the guy. He said, I was one of the many who couldn't work with him. And I called John, John Hughes. I said, This is really hard for me, but I can't do this movie with Chevy Chase. Um, and Christopher Columbus explained, I talked about how I saw the movie, how I wanted to make the movie. He didn't say anything. I went through about a half hour of talking, he didn't say a word. And then he stops and he says, and this makes no sense to any human being on the planet, but I'm telling you, I probably have never told the story. Forty minutes into the meeting, Chevy Chase says, Wait a second, you're the director? And I said, Yeah, I'm directing the film. And he said to me the most surreal bizarre thing, I still haven't been able to make any sense of it. He said, Oh, I thought you were a drummer. So I said, Oh, okay, let's talk about the film again. And about 30 seconds, he said, I gotta go. Yeah. So what do you what do you make of that?

SPEAKER_01 1:38:50

Do you think I've heard this story before.

SPEAKER_12 1:38:52

Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:53

Why did he say I thought you were a drummer? I think it's his comedy. Mmm. Bad. Yeah. He's so unrecognizable. You know how like the drummer is the least the most replaceable part. Yeah. Oh, like it's like, yeah, the drummer is a obtuse insult.

SPEAKER_04 1:39:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:11

Well, yeah, have you ever tried to enjoy Chevy Chase? As a drummer, formerly. I mean I know I haven't. It's just he's a piece of shit.

SPEAKER_12 1:39:21

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:22

Yeah. He's like an egomaniac piece of shit. Um, but that him denying or him getting off of that movie got him onto like it was Christopher Columbus, right? Um, John Hughes put him then on Home Alone. Home Alone, I think, or something really amazing. Because he was like, Yeah, if you nobody fucking likes Chevy Chase. I'll that's not gonna ruin your career to not want to work with Chevy Chase. Oh.

SPEAKER_12 1:39:49

Okay, well that explains it, because I would I could not figure out what I thought you were drawing. I thought it was like a David Lynch thing or something, like it's a weird thing to say to somebody.

SPEAKER_04 1:39:58

Yeah. If you reimagine him saying all those things as Beetlejuice, it's a lot funnier. I thought you were a drummer.

SPEAKER_05 1:40:05

I thought you were a drum, I thought you were a drummer.

SPEAKER_12 1:40:08

So, what do you think about this for a pitch? Yeah. I'll just pitch you one more sequel. It's Beetlejuice meets uh the bug from Men in Black. Okay. Yeah. The Vincent D'Anofrio bug?

SPEAKER_05 1:40:19

Yeah, exactly. Put the sugar in the water. Yeah. It's like, well, I can't put sugar in the water, I gotta do an exorcism.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:24

Vincent D'Onofrio in Men in Black is kind of doing a Mrs. Doubtfire. Wearing like skin over skin over skin. He's a bug. True. So what if it's just like Doubtfire X bug? Like an MIB Mrs. Doubtfire crossover, like King Kong Godzilla.

SPEAKER_12 1:40:47

That would make sense. I mean, easily enough that that San Francisco would be full of the same fucking freaks that are wearing the human suits, like these gosh darn aliens.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:55

These lizard folk that walk among us, the reptilians.

SPEAKER_12 1:40:58

We talked about men in black in the last pod, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:41:00

Whoever wins, we lose.

SPEAKER_12 1:41:02

Did you ever uh anyway? We were talking about this like meme. It's called like when you nut, but she's sucked. Yeah, I'm familiar. You guys can die on the phone. Jordan's uh taking a piss break.

SPEAKER_15 1:41:16

Uh anyway, it was like the you know, the alien is like the universe is in Orion's bell. Yep, yep, yep, yep.

SPEAKER_12 1:41:23

And it was like Jordan was like, oh well that meme is for like stoner stuff, and I was talking about like, you know, how it could be for like when you know it and she keeps sucking.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:41:31

Um yeah, apparently there there was like a lot of talk about making a Mrs. Doubtfire sequel, just like in general. Really? Yeah, they never made it, I think. And I think it just had to do with like the same things that we were talking about, just like what the roadblocks. What else does Mrs. Doubtfire have to learn? You know?

SPEAKER_04 1:41:49

Yeah, yeah, it kind of covers covers all of it.

SPEAKER_12 1:41:52

Yeah, because it's like, why is he gonna put on a suit again when he's like kind of gone to court?

SPEAKER_04 1:41:57

Yeah. He doesn't need to to strap up the suit one more time for one last run. One last run.

SPEAKER_12 1:42:04

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 1:42:05

Yeah, there's gotta be a good reason for him to do that though. Like I'm sure we can come up with a good reason.

SPEAKER_12 1:42:11

I think it would be like a uh I think like a even like a heist movie or something, or just like he had to like dress up as someone else in order to be hidden, you know. Yeah, but someone who was like unfamiliar with the idea of Mrs.

SPEAKER_04 1:42:25

Doubtfire prior to that in that universe in the doubt fire verse. In the doubtfire verse.

SPEAKER_12 1:42:31

Yeah. Um have you guys ever been doubtfired before? No.

SPEAKER_04 1:42:39

I'm trying to think, not in the literal sense, where someone dressed up as someone else and came in like Tom Fooleried you. Yeah, and like inserted themselves into my life.

SPEAKER_12 1:42:49

But I'm saying, like, we can even go like a little bit less. Like, does someone fooled you into thinking they were someone that they weren't? Because again, this is like I think this is like a pretty old testament tale.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:01

Yeah. I guess when my parents were on the verge of getting a divorce, there was an old man that hung out outside our childhood home. And my my dad was or my mom had moved out to one of her buildings. And after I would get home from school, there'd be an old man outside and he'd go, Oh, don't forget to brush your teeth.

SPEAKER_12 1:43:35

Don't smell me. Don't smell like your mom. Don't get close enough to smell my pheromones.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:44

But I know that's nah.

SPEAKER_12 1:43:46

It couldn't have been your mom. Nah, it couldn't be. She had that giant, or that thing had a giant. She had a part-time job from Yeah, she was busy and doing very specific hours. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:00

So it couldn't have been her.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:01

Yeah. It didn't smell like her. But it looked like her. It smelled like Jordan's mom.

SPEAKER_13 1:44:07

That's old guy doesn't smell like Jordan's mom.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:10

I still haven't chosen my sequel. I think I'm just because the free format of it and I've taken your last suggestions a little too seriously, and I want to get a little goofy now. Yeah, feel goofy.

SPEAKER_12 1:44:22

Get the goofy. I'm gonna go with the second one. You're gonna do the second one.

SPEAKER_08 1:44:26

The worst one. The worst one. Well, no, I'd argue the third one's the worst one. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:30

Is the second one the one where he finds like the sun finds his like secret box? This maniac box.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:39

I I don't want to give too much away. But I'm thinking there's like an update to the suit.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:46

Yeah. No. Some tech? Some tech regenerative like Terminator skin.

SPEAKER_12 1:44:53

Yeah, the whole thing has like a fucking like anime intro. Yeah. It's like Mrs. Doubtfire putting on a mech suit and it's like fucking cannons. The boobs of machine gun jubblys.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:06

It like forms around her, or it could be a little bit of like a mystique situation. Or it can transform into more than just Mrs. Doubtfire, and he's been living there. He opens the closet, and there's pictures of him like in all sorts of situations throughout history. Yes.

SPEAKER_12 1:45:26

It's like a suit can lie for hundreds of years.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:29

Yeah, and the suit can make you into whatever you want. And he's made his way into so many people's lives. He was Betsy Ross for good and for evil.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:39

Oh, I like that.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:40

Like a venom. It controls him too. It calls him like the green goblin mask.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:47

It whispers in a sweet voice. Come here, boy.

SPEAKER_06 1:45:51

Put on the seat.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:53

Yeah, what if see there's so many options because now I'm like, what if it is like Robin Williams from the first time he put on the mask was hearing that voice? You know, he was already controlled and just didn't understand.

SPEAKER_12 1:46:07

He kind of shows like attributes arts, I mean maybe with mental illness or schizophrenia.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:11

Yeah. But Mrs. Dadfire has existed since the dawn of man.

SPEAKER_04 1:46:16

Something has to be linked to Harvey Firestone. Like he's like a witch. Like a mother. He passes on the witchcraft of the new suit. Baba. And there's been yeah, it's Baba Yaga. Yes. Baba Harvey.

SPEAKER_15 1:46:30

You gotta you're gonna feel the essence of the being.

SPEAKER_05 1:46:34

Oh.

SPEAKER_15 1:46:35

Studio makeup technology has not changed since the dawn of man. Since man crawled out of the ocean since the first single-celled organism.

unknown 1:46:50

Fuck yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:51

There's like there's like ancient blood in the latex. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:46:56

Cut to the Aztecs, just like fucking tearing out a human heart. It's spiritual. He's wearing a Scottish dress.

SPEAKER_04 1:47:02

The spiritual component in this is Delphire.

SPEAKER_15 1:47:04

Why do you think they call it Spirit Gun? Because that's the guy that's what they would do in Ferratanity. It's a stole. The soul of the vampire.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:19

Well, this has been Squeak Wools, the Squake Bull Podcast. Uh in one week, I will uh have written this is Doubt Fire 2. Uh The Sins of the Father. The Sins of the Father. Um May We Never Doubt Fire. Um, thank you so much for joining us. Alex, thank you so much for being here with us today.

SPEAKER_04 1:47:38

You're welcome, dude. It was really hot that you were here. Thank you. Thank you. I agree.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:44

Jude, as always.

SPEAKER_12 1:47:47

Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. All right, boys. All right, great job.

SPEAKER_04 1:47:53

Good stuff. Goaded. Goaded episode. We did it.