Avatar w/ Jerzy Gwiazdowski

It's all about family.

Jude discusses the Avatar series with the original Sully's, Jordan and Jerzy Gwiazdowski.

We talk about the origin of story and talk about the subreddit.

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:00

I love realism. I know. And I love uh I love finding humor in in the things that define us.

SPEAKER_03 0:08

How we change. I mean, I love the evolving lore of like gump and stuff in your show. But how we were doing the pun show, and it was like, oh, it's a pun puncast. It's a podcast about puns. And then it became a show about brothers who love each other. Who also both do pun sometimes. Oh my god. Because everyone was like, we just love hearing you guys fucking fight all the time about what puns are.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Yeah, I want more lore of the uh the pun podcast. I know nothing about this. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 0:34

Somebody at a pun show. Because I did like my final because I'm having a kid, right? So I was like, I'm gonna do one more. I'll go back. I'll go back and do the pun show. And I didn't win because I'm slow and old now. And um is there hot talent there? Yeah, there's all they're great. They're so funny and good. But what the per one of the people ended up winning or wins a lot came to me, you know. There, I don't know if you know that, but it's uh Faith. She's like, shout out to Faith. Um her dad has a podcast and he talks about old dad music. Um Faith is great. She's a teacher, uh uh high school teacher. And uh she's like, No, I listened to your podcast with your brother. Oh, you know, did maybe you met her. No, you probably have never met this person. Like, I she's a friend of mine, I met her yours, but she's like a newer person that does the punt thing. She's like, I've listened to every episode of that podcast. Yeah, and it like helped me prep for this, and then she crushed everybody. So I feel like I've given the masked magician.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Yeah, you're like, give me half your prize money because like I I deserve it.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

Well, famously there's no prize money. So it's easy.

SPEAKER_04 1:38

There was a good portion of the start of the show where we like the mass magician did a lot of hard work to demystify puns and demystify that space. And uh and then we realized that we were just we said everything that could be said about puns, and then we just started making puns. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

Yeah. That's like how it starts, probably. You know, it just like gets brought up, and you're like, oh, like I wasn't thinking about puns before, but now I'm gonna like schedule my day around it. Yeah. I wasn't gonna make a pun there. You're both looking at me like I was like gonna make a pun. No, no, but I'm I'm just not in the lifestyle anymore. Out of the game, I'm out of the game. Yeah, I'm out of the game.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

Sweetheart. I know grandpa's stories bore you, but I think you might want to listen to this one. My name isn't Grandpa. Well, you probably know that already. But the name that your mommy and daddy called me isn't the name I was given. It's a name I chose for myself, and I'd like to tell you why. I had a daddy too once, but I didn't meet him until I was much older than you are now. He was from here, this planet called Earth. But I was born and raised far, far away in a place called Pandora. I was raised by the Sully clan. They were tall, connected to the land, and had beautiful blue skin. And they called me Spider. They raised me as one of their own. And after a while, my body started to change as I became connected with their planet. I could breathe their atmosphere. I could physically connect to the planet's natural network. This little nodule peeking out of the top of my head is something that grew out of me. It used to be covered by my head of luscious, beautiful white, treadlocked hair. Now it's just a little vestigial stump, a reminder of a lifetime ago. Millions of miles away. As much as I grew to be like them, sweetheart, I always felt a longing to return here to this planet, which I eventually did. But when I returned, it bore very little resemblance to the fables that my birth father had told me, which I should have expected. He was not a good man. You're lucky that your father was a good man. I know he could be a damn idiot sometime, but he's looking up at both of us now in Awah's embrace. Where was I? I was shocked by the earth that I found. An economy driven by power, nuclear power. The United States, I was told, was my ancestral home, didn't exist. There was no Ohio, there was no Massachusetts, there was no Illinois, just a massive expanse of land dotted by cities, each one ruled by an overlord oligarch with the keys to nuclear power. I thought I would finally be among a society of people that looked like me. I used to be a light pink color, you see. But the generations of evolution based on environmental decay had turned all unmelanated human skin an orangey-yellow color. As had the habit of a largely onion-based diet, which were vegetables we used to hang on our belts when vegetables still existed. I took a new name from my father's religion. The name of a boy who was nearly killed by his father to appease his god. Abraham. And then I had your daddy, Homer, and he and your mommy made you.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

When they can speak with Sword.

SPEAKER_05 6:28

Speak with Jordan Volden.

SPEAKER_00 6:33

Do you think that if we had Avatar technology, would they let people in the Special Olympics use it? Wow.

SPEAKER_03 6:42

I mean that's kind of the premise of the whole film.

SPEAKER_00 6:46

Yeah. Do you think it would like undermine the Special Olympics if you were like you can plug in to use a Navi to do Olympic sports?

SPEAKER_04 6:55

No, because I think anybody can plug into a Navi. It is a great equalizer, I think. Well, you would not make it the Special Olympics anymore, it would be the Navi sports. Okay, Navi sports.

SPEAKER_03 7:08

And we're presupposing that the only use of avatar technology is to put humans into Navi. But that's really not You can go into other beings with the avatar technology, is all I'm saying.

SPEAKER_04 7:20

It could be an empathy teaching machine as well.

SPEAKER_00 7:22

To walk a mile in someone's shoes. Yeah. Yeah, you get avatar into their shoes.

SPEAKER_04 7:26

We want to think about all the kind of things. I mean, like this is literally the premise of the movie. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:29

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04 7:31

No, I love it. We're already talking about the movie, which is giving me so much anxiety in this space. Yes. Um, you know, we have to heighten into comedy premise. So let's keep it going, Jude. What else could you use avatar technology for? Probably uh door dashing. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

You know what I mean? Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:56

Jersey, how can we work this out? You dash to the door. You don't have to go anywhere. You can just eat with the food that you want. You everybody avatars into like a person that's decided they're gonna be like a wall-e person that goes around and eats a lot. So that's your door dasher. So we actually do the eating for you. You don't put on the pounds. You keep slim.

SPEAKER_00 8:15

We're we're getting big brothered right now, dude. We gotta we gotta fight back.

SPEAKER_04 8:18

Yeah, I actually just I'm gonna pull the chain. I'm gonna bail. I'm gonna bail him. No, no, no, no, you can't.

SPEAKER_00 8:22

No, don't leave me here. So I'm so he's gonna kick my ass in fucking street fight. He's bogging me hard.

SPEAKER_04 8:26

He's bogging me hard. Welcome to Squequels at the Sequel Podcast. It's also a a um uh a pro podcast about brothers loving each other. Um, it is a gump cast.

SPEAKER_00 8:39

We believe in gump. We believe in one gump, Father Almighty. I'm so scared. Gump save us. Jersey just did the code where he made um Goro sp tear up my spine and dangle it in front of me. And it's really scary. Babality on both of you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:56

What wait, so I'm so glad you said one gump. I know, and uh here's the thing I respect about you guys is that you don't like you don't check the Reddits or anything, do you? Never. You don't follow the Reddit. Which Reddit? I mean oh so you don't know you you haven't been our online community, dude.

SPEAKER_00 9:18

Oh, oh, I thought you were talking about the one where it's like um like the leather community.

SPEAKER_03 9:23

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

Those are I mean, those are active too. I've been checking those.

SPEAKER_03 9:27

Not a lot of squeakels, a lot of squeaky pants on those, but not a lot of squeakels. Yeah, yeah, but you haven't been yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

No, no, sir.

SPEAKER_03 9:33

Oh good. I mean, that's good. Um but I I respect I would just respect that about the way that you guys operate because I mean if I was reading the stuff that was online, I it wouldn't it would it would really implement self-consciousness. Yeah, it would make you more self-conscious. Oh yeah, that's why I'm not reading it. Which I would hate to do, yeah. But you know, if at any point uh you want to I can like I'll curate if you want a little bit from some of the online uh uh discourse about maybe I mean like uh we maybe we should just get a hint because like maybe like if if we get some feedback, maybe we can improve.

SPEAKER_04 10:04

I'm above this, I'm above the fame, I'm above the like cool guys.

SPEAKER_00 10:08

No, but I'm just talking about in terms of like you know, making a would you recommend this podcast to your to your friend or family member?

SPEAKER_04 10:14

Whenever I'm on stage, the last thing I want to hear is feedback, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 10:18

So this is what the community would call classic JJ players there. Um and I'll just you know we've got JJ players. Yeah, J Jordan and Jude. Yeah, I mean they have they shorten everything down, and there's I'm not gonna get into like the slash fic stuff because like I just think that implies there's a lot. No, yeah. You have you have an archive of your own, you know. Um but I didn't you have the whole thing where you wrote Slash Vic of us. Yeah. Um but so yeah, um there so there's R Squeakels that is uh a band, but there's this just because of like a lot of moderator drama and there's like a hostile takeover. Um okay. And then there's R R slash gumping. Um well that's not us. That's bigger than us. It is bigger than you, and that's kind of what happened to Squeakels, actually. So there it broke into factions, kind of like Catholicism. Yes. And and but you I'm glad that that's why I said I'm glad you guys are into one uh one one gump. Uh but then there's also Squeakels Circle Jerk, of course. Of course, and then there's okay buddy gumping as well. You know about okay buddy?

SPEAKER_01 11:25

No, no, okay buddy subreddits?

SPEAKER_03 11:27

Okay, I mean you guys are always like going on Reddit and looking stuff. So like okay buddy, I won't say like the the meme that it's from, but basically an okay buddy subreddit is like deep fried nonsensical memes based on the thing that kind of mock the fandom, but also are part of the fandom because you have to have like an extensive knowledge of the fandom. Yes. So there's like the one that's the uh yeah, it it okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:49

It'd be like Jim Henson holding Jordan over a barbecue or something.

SPEAKER_03 11:54

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it would be like called like okay buddy mana or whatever, and that would be the subright where they do like deep-fried memes about or just like I yeah, anyway. Those are those are like the main spaces, and obviously the wiki, you know, the the fandom wiki uh also exists.

SPEAKER_04 12:07

I'm proud of the influence, you know. I I didn't start this to not have a voice that matters. So I'm glad that what we're saying is having an effect. What kind of effect I'm having, I'm less concerned about.

SPEAKER_00 12:21

All publicity is good publicity, right? Like, even though there's like lots of pictures of us doing like unspeakable positions to each other.

SPEAKER_04 12:29

After the words come out of my mouth, they are no longer my responsibility.

SPEAKER_03 12:33

Can you go to the deviant art for squeakels? Ooh, I haven't found the deviant art. Here's like a top post uh from r slash squeakels too. Okay, I might plug my ears and go la la la. Shower thought. If Jude had overcome his social anxiety and acknowledged Jordan at the Forest Hills Weird Al concert, how would the podcast be different today?

SPEAKER_00 12:59

Oh my god, I totally was like, Jordan, I'm up here, dude. What's going on? You didn't look at me.

SPEAKER_04 13:05

Yeah. I feel that if I knew him earlier, I may I might not have asked him to do this podcast.

SPEAKER_03 13:15

That was posted by um Reddit user Drew Barrymore was my hot teacher. Hell yes, hell yes. We can look at that throughout the show after you.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

I like that. I'm sorry, dude. I I think I took a picture of you at that concert. You were wearing like a you were wearing like an aquamarine tank top.

SPEAKER_04 13:36

We've always flown in each other's uh, you know, orbit until now where we're just constantly crashing into each other. Revolving each other, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um I didn't finish my introduction. I'm so sorry. Uh which I hope, dear voice, you do not bring your wrathful uh shout upon me. Um the voice is all knowing, it is all seeing, but it is not all communicating. You can only hear it at very specific times, usually when like your life is in danger, or you find out later that your life could have been in danger. The life the voice will tell you to like not get on a certain plane, or to like get up very quickly, open the door, and run out of your car, you know. Yeah, that kind of thing. But thank you, the voice.

SPEAKER_03 14:23

I went to R slash the voice, and it's just a lot of Gwen Stefani stuff.

SPEAKER_04 14:29

I think it was about the blaspheming the voice. Um, and we believe, of course, in the power of Gump. We understand that there have been a few um divisions within our collective community, but it is like Fiona Apple always says, it is not our differences that that bring us into or it is not our similarities that bring us into unity with each other, it is our differences that make us special. Um so remember that. But also if your fervent nature causes a brutal takeover of the gump subcommunity because you are growing in numbers so quickly compared to the other um factions, then continue your glorious rise and bring Gumpdom to the world.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

And Jordan too, I want you to like focus right now because, like, honestly, as much as I really like and respect Jersey, I feel like he is bringing Big Brother energy into the room, and just know that we can always call mom. Yeah, that's true. Because that is the you know, the eternal trump card of Big Brothers. They they have no power against moms. Not our mom. Damn it. Fuck, we're so fucked.

SPEAKER_04 15:37

Um, and of course, as Jude once uh just said, we have in the room our guest of today, my big brother.

SPEAKER_03 15:45

Yezh Jersey. Reddit user NPH Winehouse cake. Started a thread. What's your least favorite dark era episode? Do you know about this whole fan thing about the dark era and the of the show?

SPEAKER_00 16:06

No. This is bad. No, I and I'm scared to learn.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

This is good.

SPEAKER_03 16:14

The the dark era of the show is just like it's uh don't it's not like a judgment. It's just like a way that the fandom uses to refer to the shows before Nas appeared, basically. But it's all shrimp content. And well, that's the thing. So universally, everyone said and shrimp beef is a beloved guest, of course. Of course. You're in his chair. Yeah. I'm in the shrimp beef seat. I'm in the cat bird seat and the shrimp beef seat, as they say. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:46

What the shrimp beef seat is, is just uh being a co-host better than Jude has been.

SPEAKER_03 16:52

So yeah, I mean Nas was really good though, honestly. Replying to this is more I mean, no, Nas is amazing. I know. I mean, there's another Nas-based. Okay, well, I'll go back to the Dark Era thing, but here's another post from the Reddit, which is after the last episode, is anybody getting hungry or should I say thirsty for a Greek nach show? Note from the mods. This is the Nas mega thread. All other posts about Nas will be perma-deleted. And it's just a bunch of like thirst shots of Nas.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

Oh yeah, yeah. You're showing the picture now. He's like on you, you uh photoshopped him on like a Dothraki. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:33

That was posted by Reddit User Anti-Goggins.

SPEAKER_04 17:38

Oh, anyway. This is such a dark ear thing. Yeah, yeah, into our lore, our history. Um That was a really hard time for me.

SPEAKER_00 17:46

That was a hard time for me, but whatever. I'm I'm good to move past it. The dark error.

SPEAKER_04 17:50

Yeah, yeah. My brother, Jersey Gwizdowski. Hello. Uh Jersey Gwiaz on social media.

SPEAKER_03 17:55

Oh, yeah, yeah. You can follow. I mean, I guess like uh yeah, you can follow me there if you wish. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:00

Uh you run a show at Caveat called Vocaboray.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

Yeah. Um also fighting words. Fighting Words on hiatus, because I'm having a child and I couldn't run and operate two wordplay-based comedy shows at a the same Lower East Side venue every month. So yeah, follow at vocaborae, which is like cabaret but with vocabulary.

SPEAKER_04 18:19

Um, you are uh you know teacher, you have you're doing a lot of things. Um your C V is extensive. Yeah, yeah. Um we'll talk about it more in the future, but uh those are your active projects right now.

SPEAKER_03 18:31

That's yeah, that's the active, that's the active uh count. Follow yeah, at vocaborae.

SPEAKER_04 18:36

It's so good to be sitting across uh mic stand from you. Once again. Once again, the brothers are united. So, Jude, the thing that uh didn't happen last time, because I I didn't come prepared, um, is that when you asked about Tobias, it reminded something about me. When you have three brothers, two of them always team up on the other.

SPEAKER_00 18:59

Yeah, yeah. I'm getting that vibe actually, and I'm like, it's it's like uh it's like a latent kind of anxiety that I'm getting because it's like he's really cool, you know, like and I knew like of Jersey, but it's like, oh, he's cool and he's funny, yeah, and he's like kind of bigger than us, so like we're kind of absolutely fucked right now.

SPEAKER_04 19:17

Yeah. But so it's whoever he was going when you bring in the third energy, especially a brother energy, it's whoever the brothers decide to team up with.

SPEAKER_05 19:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 19:28

And usually in our cases, because he was bigger, it would always be one of us against one of the other ones. So Jersey was always involved in the team up. Okay. Fair. Yeah. And then it was one one one of us.

SPEAKER_03 19:41

So I was always the aggressor against the other?

SPEAKER_04 19:44

No, just if there was the brother, one brother would always try to get you on their side.

SPEAKER_03 19:49

Well, that's the only other brother available, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:51

So I feel like I'm are are you implying that like I'm in the Tobias cuck chair essentially right now? Like I could I'm in danger of that.

SPEAKER_03 19:58

Tobias is four children. No, I'm in the most potent.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:05

I don't want to be cocked by I'm trying to get him on my side early, is what I'm saying here. Yeah. Oh, I see.

SPEAKER_03 20:11

This is not like the tomato married to the tomato who secretly had sex with an eggplant AI video. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:17

Um, well, Jersey, um, I give uh mediocre massages. Great. Um, I do an okay Arnold Schwarzenegger impression. He makes a great bolognese. I do make a really great bolognese. Uh you came over to my house one time, and Steph and I made uh you and Anna a nice bolognese.

SPEAKER_04 20:36

Well, okay, so you're misrepresenting the situation. Is I yeah, I came over to your house. Yeah. Uh and then um I you told me to tell Anna to come over for dinner, and then Stephanie came home, and we ate bologna's in awkward, quiet, and then Stephanie said, kick them out of our house. I'm tired. Why did you invite people over to Stephanie?

SPEAKER_00 21:00

Okay, that's actually what happened. But like, I don't want to tell you to Stephanie.

SPEAKER_04 21:03

Yeah, amazing woman.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

I don't want to like uh yeah, paint Stephanie badly. I'm very bad at communicating. Yes. No, I didn't tell her, and then she came home from work and there were just like two people eating.

SPEAKER_04 21:14

And you and I were, I think, pretty drunk. Oh, of course.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:16

Yeah. No, um, I'm not painting Stephanie in a poor way, in that I I think that you should be shamed for doing to your beautiful wife.

SPEAKER_00 21:25

I'm always in shame. Good. Of everything I'm doing.

SPEAKER_03 21:28

Remember, this is a Jude supportive space now, okay? We're bigging you up here. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 21:35

Oh, I feel like I did just tear you down. I apologize for that. That's fine. Um, it was a funny situation, if anything. It did not besmirch my memory of either of you. I just thought it was a funny social interaction. That was good.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

I was like thinking about it the other day, actually. I was like, that was weird.

SPEAKER_04 21:50

Yeah, Anna was like, Why did you invite me over? I was like, I don't know. And then she realized how drunk I was. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:57

That's usually how it goes.

SPEAKER_04 21:59

Um We are talking about Avatar this week. Oh my gosh. Speaking of uninvited guests.

SPEAKER_03 22:07

Avatar? Yeah. Oh, I guess Jake Asulli is really an uninvited guest in the Navi community.

SPEAKER_00 22:14

Absolutely. They gave him the most Boston name possible, and they like never bring that up the whole time.

SPEAKER_04 22:20

It's strange how much people's like heritage and accents are not a focus of the film when they are so present in like every character from Earth. Yeah. Yeah. It's like um yeah, he talks with a fucking boss and accent the whole time. Sullies never give up. What does he say? Sullies never say die. Sullies never say die. Sullies never quit. Sulli's never quit. Yeah, which one is it? Because he says it a thousand times a little bit. There's a lot of things Sullies never do.

SPEAKER_03 22:52

Skip a bow and arrow fight, not meet other kinds of avatars that are a slightly different shade of blue.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

They'll do all that stuff. When is the first time you guys heard about avatars? Because I feel like it was happening before it happened. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because like I feel like I was in high school and my friend Sebastian was like, dude, James Cameron is gonna make a movie that's gonna fuck you up. He's got these crazy cameras. It's coming in eight years. And I was literally like, I could not care less. I've got I'm going to log jam my high school girlfriend and live my life. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Damn. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to summer camp.

SPEAKER_01 23:35

I don't give a shit about no blue people. But then did you try to finger somebody during the movie? During Avatar?

SPEAKER_04 23:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:42

Oh, that's some other 90s movie. Sgt. Bilko or something?

SPEAKER_04 23:45

That was yeah, it was in C Nome.

SPEAKER_03 23:47

Oh, in C Nome.

SPEAKER_04 23:48

So you were in a we we always talk about this a little bit is like the difference in our age bringing a much different perspective on kind of pop culture and media.

SPEAKER_03 23:57

I mean, for maybe for people that were like alive then and care about the micro differences between the pop culture of 1992 and 1998 or whatever. But like, you know, anybody's a podcast for. Yeah, I guess. I guess so. That's the demographic. But then I have, you know, I teach like uh young adults, right? And they're like, oh my god, that's like the most 2012 coded shit ever. And I'm like, wasn't that the same? Isn't that all the same? You guys heard of Beck?

SPEAKER_04 24:21

Yeah, yeah, exactly. But like I didn't see fucking Titanic, and that was one of the biggest things that happened like in my childhood ever. And then when Avatar comes out, James Cameron, I was like, I don't care about this guy.

SPEAKER_03 24:36

I watched Avatar for the first time like two months ago. Not Avatar. I watched Titanic for the first time, like two months ago.

SPEAKER_00 24:45

So I don't know what planet or what happened to Wisconsin at this time period because like I swear to God, when um Titanic came out, my dad for some reason was just like on a lot of business trips. Like he got really into cheating at that time. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. So no um starting his new family in a story of the stuff. Yeah, so he yeah, he was like doing this whole like new family thing. Yeah, and and that's when he started telling us like never turn your back to the ocean. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, because of the business trips. Right. Um, but when he was away, my mom and my sister, my sister's probably like as like your age, um, and they would take me to see Titanic, and they did it four times. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I I was like fucking like I knew it was coming, it was like being tortured.

SPEAKER_03 25:28

You know that was the normal thing, was like to see it a lot of times.

SPEAKER_00 25:32

All everybody in high school So why did you guys not see it like a hundred fucking times?

SPEAKER_03 25:35

Because I was fucking too cool for it at the time, I thought. I was like, I was gonna go see being John Malkovich and s instead or whatever. Like, I thought Titanic was corny and I hated Leo, and it was like not cool enough.

SPEAKER_00 25:50

I see. I think you may have lived in a household where like wasn't mom dominant, because I think my mom is the alpha.

SPEAKER_03 25:55

Well, we lived in a mommy dummy house. Yeah, dummy mommy. Um but she was also like do your own thing. She has like a very cute Wisconsin voice, but says like crazy shit, right? She's like, Don't listen to what anybody thinks about you, do your own stuff.

SPEAKER_04 26:09

Yeah, she didn't really bring home too many like romantic blockbusters. I think some of the only ones I remember like being coming home were like Legends of the Fall she had for a while. Yeah. Um, English Patient, I think she maybe got into. Okay. Just like Marney independent cinema of the night is.

SPEAKER_00 26:28

Yeah. So your mom was like less mainstream. I feel like my mom didn't have that kind of taste. So she was like, We're gonna when we were seeing it in the theaters. We were going to the theater to see Titanic and we did it like four times. So I feel like it's one of those things like you saw it once, and she's like, I can't get enough of this, and then she's like teamed up on me with my sister, and we just did it four times.

SPEAKER_03 26:47

Our mom was an early Jurassic Park adapter. She had us read the book, and then she's like, They're making a movie of this. We're going opening night. And we went to a movie because she's like, I will hear it.

SPEAKER_00 26:57

I willed it into existence. Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_03 26:58

She's sort of like Jordan. She likes if it if she was around it, it's like becomes her story, like she created it. Yeah, the third level of your mom. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, the third level. Um, and we I think we saw a movie because, and they're like the Jurassic Park teaser. It's like, you know, now 2026, you know, like, oh, go see this because like the Avatar trailers before, or the Avatar, the Avengers trailers, but whatever before this movie, and people go and then they leave. But we did that in 1993, and it was like the teaser trailer for Jurassic Park was before some other movie, and we were like, we're going to see the Jurassic Park trailer, and it was like for 65 million years. It's like they didn't even show anything, it's just like a guy hitting a rock, and it's like Jurassic Park is coming. We were fucking excited.

SPEAKER_04 27:35

She would point at she's a she's a dino lover, she loves a beastie or a creature. Um, and so we would like drive past construction sites and she would point at like the beastliest construction worker.

SPEAKER_03 27:47

Yeah, no, like tear me apart.

SPEAKER_04 27:50

How like a backhoe and be like, isn't that like a triceratops or something like that, you know?

SPEAKER_03 27:54

Oh, yeah, she would pretend that her construction equipment was a dinosaur. Yeah, that's like Abrantasaurus. Wow, I hadn't thought of that in a long time. So Titanic was the beginning of Avatar. Actually, Titanic Avatar existed in his mind before Titanic.

SPEAKER_00 28:11

That oh, I've I've heard that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:13

And he told Guillermo Del Toro that he wanted to make this movie, but then he waited because he thought like the technology didn't exist to make it.

SPEAKER_00 28:21

That's wild. That's why you were hearing about it for so long. Yeah. It's probably really annoying about it, I guess, because like Guillermo del Toro is like probably like, oh fuck, I'm just like, I'm gonna do Frankenstein again. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I'm I'm I could do whatever I want.

SPEAKER_03 28:32

You know, somebody that loves monsters.

SPEAKER_00 28:34

Yeah, yeah. I just love monster, and and meanwhile, this guy's like, they're blue and they live on a different planet called Pandora.

SPEAKER_04 28:41

And actually it's Yes, I can visualize this Pandora of which you speak. Was that Girma? That's Giro. Yeah, that's pretty good there. I didn't see Avatar when it came out. Did you missed it too? It missed you kind of like Titanic missed. I went to try I tried to see it. Avatar?

SPEAKER_03 28:56

Yeah. Oh, I saw it when it came out. I saw it three times.

SPEAKER_00 28:58

I tried to see it, but like Titanic, I missed Avatar too. Oh, I see what you're saying. I tried to see it, but the movie theater was closed.

SPEAKER_04 29:06

Okay, and then you just never tried again.

SPEAKER_00 29:08

Yeah. Well, I assume I got the idea. And then when I saw it, I was like, okay, I I pretty I think I got it.

SPEAKER_04 29:12

So when did you see it?

SPEAKER_00 29:14

Oh boy. Um probably like 2014.

SPEAKER_03 29:18

Okay. When did you go to the movie theater expecting to see a movie that the movie theater was closed?

SPEAKER_00 29:23

It was like 2010. I wanted to see. No, I meant like what time of day? Oh, it was like the afternoon. It was like, yeah, yeah. Because my friend and I were like, oh, we got weed, and it was like definitely like mid, we got like mids, you know, in college. So we're like, oh, like let's go see the movie, and then the movie's closed, and we're like, oh, we smoked a bunch of mids in a in a Honda Civic.

SPEAKER_04 29:42

In the movie theater parking lot. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:45

And then we're like, okay, and they were like avatars closed, I'm sorry. And then uh it just kind of went on with my life.

SPEAKER_03 29:51

I the the highest I ever was where I like couldn't function in a movie theater was in college, and it was when Eternal Sunshine and the Spotless Mind and Passion of the Christ were out. No, and I walked terrifying. You're like, and it was like all the Christian people were there, yeah. And uh my friend Tom Sawyer, real name, it was like the summer, right?

SPEAKER_00 30:12

He's like something painting this fence is fucking awesome.

SPEAKER_03 30:15

I know, dude. He'd heard he's he's heard it all. All the rush jokes, everything. He was like, he nothing could hurt him because he'd heard every joke. And so this lady that was leading a group of uh church kids like stepped on his sandal going in, and she was like, I'm so we were so stoned. And she's like, I'm so sorry for stepping on your sandal. And he's he said, they get stepped on all day. And it took it took me out for like 20 minutes.

SPEAKER_00 30:41

Did she think that he was like Jesus or something?

SPEAKER_03 30:43

She, I mean, the sandals didn't he had a nice little scruff, longer hair. It was college, it was like 20, 2002, whatever. And then I walked up to the box office person and I ordered a ticket for eternal passion of the spotless Christ.

SPEAKER_01 31:02

That is insane.

SPEAKER_00 31:03

That is just an insane time to be alive. Yeah, people were buying out theaters just to yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:09

We should have known then, you know that we're where we are today. Yeah, that's like the little Cthulhu thing. Like it was an earthquake. Yeah, it was that it was we knew.

SPEAKER_00 31:20

I thought you were implying like Mel Gibson will eventually become president and you know.

SPEAKER_03 31:24

No, because he has an accent.

SPEAKER_00 31:26

Oh, yeah, truly. Much like that. Unfortunately, R.I.P. Um, that's very funny. I wish I was part of the group that was buying out theaters to watch Eternal Sunshine and Spotless Mind. This this is my Messiah. This is my New Testament.

SPEAKER_04 31:39

My highest in a theater follows this, uh like George Lucas would say, it rhymes with your story. Um that I was also seeing a movie with a very long name um when I was the highest I've ever been in a theater.

SPEAKER_03 31:58

To Gillian on her 37th birthday.

SPEAKER_00 32:01

Um uh Rachel getting married to Don't Be a Menace of South Central or drinking your juice in the hood.

SPEAKER_04 32:08

Uh it was everything everywhere all at once. That's a good one. And uh not only did I get too high, but the other two people I was with, one got so high that he called 911 and was taken out of the movies in a stretcher.

SPEAKER_00 32:21

I wasn't calling 911, I was calling A24. Uh I just wanted to talk to Ari Aster how he thought about that whole shit with the girl on fire.

SPEAKER_04 32:36

Yeah, and uh and then I sat, and because of the multiverse thing in it, I actually did like go and sit in a car for like two hours and think that maybe uh what you were saying, I make every story about myself that maybe the only reason I had been seeing all of this multiverse content was because the multiverse was about to crack open and all these realities were gonna like filter into ours, and this was the end of days, and I was like having a psychotic break, and I like fell asleep in that mindset, like in my car. But it was just the endive days, it's just the endive days. That was so high. And so I understood why he had a panic attack. The wrong bitter leafy vegetable.

SPEAKER_00 33:13

Yeah, yeah, you should have stuck with um marijuana. I don't know, yeah, marijuana or kale or whatever. It's like another uh ridicio. Yeah. That's gonna be my contribution to the bitter leafy vegetable convo. Arugula. I'm sorry that happened to you. I legitimately am, if I was there, I wouldn't have been any help. I would have just been talking to the back. Shut the fuck up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:34

That was not mids. Whatever made.

SPEAKER_00 33:36

No, yeah, meats. Whatever you were smoking came out of a resealable bag.

SPEAKER_04 33:41

It well, yeah, it was in a it was actually I didn't smoke it. I ate like a full sour uh rainbow strip. And then while I was eating it, I was like, this is burning my mouth with how much like weed it tastes. And then I found out that it was like hundreds of milligrams of edible. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:58

That's yeah, I remember when we were in Vegas. Oh yeah. And you had like a hundred milligram frozen drink or something.

SPEAKER_04 34:05

That well they lie, they lie so much, but that was fun. Yeah, it was good the fact that THC is legal in Vegas now.

SPEAKER_03 34:12

Well, yeah, now it's everywhere. It was before it was legal in New York, so we were really excited. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:18

Um Avatar. Avatar. Um, I missed it. I saw it pretty um recently. I mean, compared to how long ago it came out, and was I didn't see it in 3D, I didn't see it in theaters, I was relatively unimpressed. I feel like it was a story that I had seen so many times.

SPEAKER_03 34:35

I'm not the secretary of Avatar. You don't even apologize to me for not liking Avatar. I feel like everybody's like, fucking Avatar sucks, fucking, you know? Yeah. Yeah. But it's like the most popular movie in the history of the world at times three now. Yeah. And everyone fucking allegedly hates it. But I don't know, there's gotta be something going on there because I feel like it's a collective dream we all shared. And there's no there's no like avatar extended. I mean, there's like all these movies now, but no one's wearing avatar t-shirts or like no one's talking about avatars, no merchandising, there's no like TV show. It just is this m these movies that exist, and then we go into the world having seen it, and that's just it just still is just is just a movie, and I love that.

SPEAKER_04 35:27

Yeah, I'm not I am not talking shit on what it is, but I do I just don't find the story incredibly like compelling. But like I went to see Avatar 2 in theaters, the Way of Water, The Way of Water, and I was so thoroughly impressed with like every bit of filmmaking and a lot of the acting. So like then I was like, I get this, and I I I still didn't like the story.

SPEAKER_03 35:56

He creates new like he waited all those years to make the first one, and then he did the same thing with the second one, and he's like, we gotta do the next two at the same time because like I can't keep doing this. I'm gonna I'm James Cameron, I'm old. Um so he creates new technology for each of these movies. It's not like oh it's L C G blah blah, but like they couldn't nobody else can make these movies. No, he they created new ways of doing performance capture and like rendering water and shit for each subsequent movie and smoke, it's you know it's he loves making movies and and actors more than as much or more than anybody, and he's pushing the envelope of movie making, and he's decided to do it with these like giant smurfs, and I think that's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 36:39

Hell yeah. No, I'm just confused right, because like now that you're putting it that way and I'm thinking about it, right? It's like I'm just I just want to put up Avatar against like uh like Lord of the Rings, right? And it's like and it's against something where it's like the characters like are actually developed and likable, and then it's like you've got Avatar where it's like who who the fuck cares? You know, and it's like it's like why does Avatar have like the same amount of like staying power or whatever? And it's like um I guess it made me think about it like this this year at the Oscars, too, because they were just like fuck this guy, like we're not even gonna nominate them for like one fucking thing because like we're over it, you know? So it's just like except all the visual. I don't even think they nominated them for that. Yeah, it won all of them. Yeah. Oh, it did win all of them?

SPEAKER_03 37:27

Yeah, except sound editing, which went to F1, rightfully. Or sound, it's just one important thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess they won the visual effects award.

SPEAKER_00 37:33

Yeah, I don't know. I'm just like curious about like what like what what sway he has over like that kind of like storytelling.

SPEAKER_04 37:40

Because it's like it has all like the visuals and technology and filmmaking stuff that like Lord of the Rings had, but like Well, I think the there's two things that work there because Lord of the Rings, in addition to Peter Jackson like pioneering technology and being like a very incredible filmmaker in that regard, he also hearkened back a ton to traditional techniques, miniatures, paintings, that kind of thing, forced perspective. And so you're getting a marriage of those two things, and you have a story that's like timeless in its regard, and he was very good at making it digestible in a way that like the novels sometimes are not. In Avatar, he's got his dream, his like story that he's been digesting for over what like 30 years.

SPEAKER_03 38:25

It's like a some dream he had when he was a kid, and now it's like real and all.

SPEAKER_00 38:28

He always talks about that too, because he was like Terminator came to me in a dream. Yeah, you know, and it's like, oh, that's like that's fucking wild. Like because Terminator to me like is scarier than Avatar, you know, because it's just like, okay, well, like what if this technology was able to like reproduce itself to an endpoint where it could travel back in time.

SPEAKER_03 38:45

You're saying you're like more scared by uh robots taking over and killing all humans than like a beautiful society that's connected to the planet.

SPEAKER_02 38:53

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I just I really hate I hate hippies that much.

SPEAKER_03 38:58

No, no, that's more scary, is what I'm saying. Yeah, I'm with you.

SPEAKER_04 39:01

Um, but I think where he succeeds, where he's like trying to tell us this story that somebody's finally like, well, put it down on paper, man. Let's see it, let's see it. And he's just giving us kind of like regurgitated, coherent junk. Uh, his visual storytelling is incredible and phenomenal. And he is painting a world and a picture and a dream in a way that is like innovative and fully tech forward. I I don't think the story of the Sullies warrants three movies. You know, I understand that we're gonna see generations to come probably from who knows, who knows what's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_03 39:37

Yeah. Oh, you mean from him? I thought you meant from us when I do the pitches. Uh I made this about me. Yeah, no, setting the technology stuff aside, which is like the inch the opening, the story is okay. Think of it this way, Jude. Yes, sir. Or like sorry, am I being too big brothery? Okay, no. No, no, no, keep it. I don't let that. What I love about it, what I love about it is, and there's a pretty now popular um leftist read of Avatar, that it is the most success commercially successful film of all time, and it is anti-imperialist, anti colonization, pro-environmental preservation, anti-capitalist, film, anti-military thing that's ever been made, and it is the most successful thing, piece of entertainment period in human history. I think that is something to hang its head on. And I like, and I'm not the first one to say this, but I like how it's about, I'm maybe the first one saying this way, it's about like the shitty brother, because that's the whole part of the story, right? There's like the you know how like sometimes there's like a worse brother? Yeah, you know, but they're twins, yeah. So it's a twin. But he's like the fuck, yeah. No, I'm not saying, I'm not, I'm just saying, like, do you know how that happens sometimes? I'm just I know how it happens specifically with twins.

SPEAKER_04 41:08

Yeah, no, I'm not saying talking about Tobias?

SPEAKER_03 41:10

No, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_04 41:11

We're not talking about any of our brothers right now.

SPEAKER_03 41:13

Everybody's talking about anything other than the kid that happens in the world that's a big thing. We're sometimes a shitty brother.

SPEAKER_00 41:19

Are you talking about my brother that my parents keep in an attic? Is he your twin? Yeah, I'm not gonna be.

SPEAKER_03 41:23

Then yes, we're talking about that fucking freak. But like when you can't get the good brother, and the twin thing is important, right? But he's just this hard-drinking um veteran, grunt, idiot, marine, who is like would be a total, you know, MAGA dude, probably now, right? And this was like made during Iraq war, like Bush 2, right? Yeah, he would be like totally that guy, and he gets this opportunity because he shares the DNA, because he's a twin. And the story of Jacosoule is that he gives up and gives up everything he already all everything he's believed in for his entire life. Red Sox season tickets in order to get some blue strange, but also to like get uh in get in touch with something new and different. So I like that he's like not a chosen person, he's like not the son of anybody, you know. And again, this is like other people have said this before me, but I think that's cool that he just rejects his entire worldview, and that's like the message, right? Not that you need to be special or like somebody's son or whatever. And I think that's cool.

SPEAKER_00 42:30

It's a it's a great message, but I'm gonna I'm just talking off the cuff here. Yeah, I feel like there's probably a lot of MAGA people that are into Avatar, yeah, and they don't get it, and they just wouldn't get it, you know what I mean? So it's like maybe it's touching on you know, James Cameron is able to like touch on this aspect of you know our society that consumes but doesn't think about why it consumes or something. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 42:54

I think that the thing that a MAGA person can like touch into, and I say MAGA, I don't say MAGA.

SPEAKER_03 43:03

I think it's like a gif-giff situation, really. That's the most important thing about it.

SPEAKER_04 43:07

That um they can always view themselves as the underdog in that situation.

SPEAKER_03 43:13

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 43:13

They will always say that they are the victim, that we need the strongest military because other militaries are going to be bigger and badder than ours. And that's why they will always be the aggressor, but always play the victim. So I think they'll they would say, like, oh yeah, we are the Navi. We are the people who are.

SPEAKER_00 43:30

Your point is that James Cameron is actually good at making like Ur stories or like stories that resonate.

SPEAKER_04 43:35

I think this is an Ur story, and that's why I'm like less the the specificity of it is what I cried.

SPEAKER_00 43:41

Okay, that's that makes sense to me.

SPEAKER_04 43:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:43

Yeah. I mean, it's like there's only so like so many stories. I had this old professor that's like, there's only two stories, like somebody comes to town or somebody leaves town. That's every story is one of those two things, you know. Uh but what if it's yeah, right? Or like Aristotle's like, Oh, there's seven stories or whatever. Okay. But like uh the eighth one was avatar. And Ferngully and Pocahontas. But the the thing about oh yeah, okay. So I watched Titanic for the first time like a month ago, right? Never seen Titanic. Titanic's fucking Avatar, bro. Titanic is the same thing as Avatar, it's the exact same story because he's it's a class story, it's coming from one thing to the other. Um, except, well, it's sort of combined because she has to reject her life to go with him, right? So he's kind of the interloper and then she becomes the person who like leaves her place. But it's exactly the same, and it has the same um like class struggle thing throughout it. So I was just watching it like, oh, this was just a sketch for Avatar, like some of the shots and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 44:41

Yeah, to me, I guess to me, Titanic was always like um one of those movies, it's like a disaster movie or something. It's like where the world is ending or something, and it's like a bunch of like vignettes of like things happening of things being destroyed. Like, I don't know. Would you call that a disaster movie or something?

SPEAKER_03 44:56

Like there's definitely disaster in it.

SPEAKER_04 44:58

Yeah, yeah. I still have not watched Titanic in full. What? How are you robbing yourself of that?

SPEAKER_02 45:05

It's really good.

SPEAKER_03 45:06

I don't like Billy Zane. I have good news for you. He fucking croaks in this movie. Yes. Um Billy Zane haters, right?

SPEAKER_04 45:15

Yeah, yeah. He looks like shit in this movie. It just did feel like I absorbed so much of it through Osmosis because of pop culture, because it was like inavoidable for three years of my life, you know. Um, but I'll watch it. I'll watch it.

SPEAKER_03 45:29

The end of Avatar 3 literally does the end of Titanic, where it's like in heaven, but they're all with Awa. And you know the thing where they she comes on the boat and goes through the thing and is with all the people and sees Leo and they're all like clapping. That's the end of Avatar 2.

SPEAKER_00 45:42

And like Bill Paxton just comes out at the end and he's like, This diamond's not worth it. Okay, that's the other thing people forget about Titanic. That there's just like a fucking Bill Paxton fucking storyline the whole time. It's like, yeah, it's like a it's like a story told from the from the future about the past, you know? Yeah. Um, and it's really bad.

SPEAKER_04 46:04

I still have not seen uh Avatar Fire and Ash. Oh, sorry, spoiler. That's fine. Um I was doing the Samurai Movie Jam podcast, the same people who uh gave us the kindergarten cop movie, and they had just seen Fire and Ash, and as we were walking out of the studio, the guy who runs the studio is coming in and they talked about Fire and Ash for a little bit, and they're like, Yeah, it was really fucking cool, but like it just felt like the same story a third time. Like it was a lot of the same story beats, a lot of the same things happening, and the guy was like, I understand that criticism, I think that is so intentional to the long form of what the story James Cameron is telling right now.

SPEAKER_03 46:44

I'm with that guy, the proprietor of that studio in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

SPEAKER_00 46:48

Yeah, he's like, James Cameron is sending me secret messages.

SPEAKER_03 46:52

You yeah, you have to see it for the performance by Una Chaplin, who was from Game of Thrones. She was like the girl in Game of Thrones that what's his name wasn't supposed to marry, and then he married her. I don't watch Game of Thrones. Okay, whatever. Um, and she's also the granddaughter or great-granddaughter of Charlie Chaplin. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Um and she gives like the most sexy giant Smurf performance I've ever seen. And her the whole thing is she seduces the the general guy who's actually the reincarnated genetic version of himself because he steps on his own skull in the second movie. I don't know, that feels like a that feels like a very it's not that's not polka that's not in polka artis. You know what I mean? That's not in Fernelli. But like he she he she um like seduces him in and then he basically militarizes the natives and like gets them on the side of the human. So he's back.

SPEAKER_04 47:48

He's been back. Did you see the second movie? That's the one I really saw. And I was like, it's crazy that they're bringing him back for the second movie, but then he doesn't he die in the second movie? No, he's alive. Oh, I thought the boat fight they kill him.

SPEAKER_03 48:01

Where they do like Titanic again, but yeah, in Avatar? Yeah. The whole crash.

SPEAKER_00 48:06

Have you seen what of the have you seen two? I'm so sorry. I've seen one and two, but I like don't remember them in in this way. I just kind of like push it out of my brain.

SPEAKER_04 48:16

Okay, let's talk, let's then just talk about the the the the whale in the room. Okay. Plocoon.

SPEAKER_03 48:22

I love Plocoons.

SPEAKER_04 48:23

Uh Piacon?

SPEAKER_03 48:25

Piacon? Yeah, Piacon, yeah, exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 48:27

That's the one thing I do know about movie three is it starts off with Spider yelling, You're the man, Piacon.

SPEAKER_03 48:35

Yeah, I love Spider. No, Spider, it's tough because sometimes you like cast a child and then you're just stuck with them, you know? And he becomes very important in the thing.

SPEAKER_00 48:43

Yeah, it's like having a kid, you know. It's like you you didn't choose Spider. Yeah, Spider just kind of kicked it. They did, they chose Spider, you know, they adopted him, but you think that's like James Cameron's like actual kid, like now?

SPEAKER_03 48:55

It's like Kip Cameron, you know. Yeah, his grandkid, probably, right?

SPEAKER_04 48:58

Yeah, he found what I the lore I heard is that Cameron found a baby deep sea, like in the Titanic, locked in a case. Like an aircraft. Like a case, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he pulled it out, and it was the kid who's playing Spider-Noun.

SPEAKER_00 49:12

He's like perfectly blonde, dreadlocked baby.

SPEAKER_04 49:15

Yeah. He was like, I will take you in. I will teach you the ways of the upper world, but we need them to hide these gills. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:24

Slick them down, cover them in dreads. Oh my god. Okay, yeah. The Plocoon, I mean, they're great. They're beautiful creatures. Do you think they're supposed to be like whales? They're more yes, but they're more intelligent than whales. And they have a language, they can talk, yeah. Yeah. So they're as intelligent and have a older traditions than the Navi. They're like the deeper level of connection to the spirit of Awa. I just said that totally earnestly.

SPEAKER_04 49:54

I like that the the Plocoon uh or Piacon, the Plocoon we meet in the second movie, is like uh the outcast. Yeah, he's the outcast.

SPEAKER_03 50:03

I know. It sounds like a pretty nuanced and rich story of characters with depth. Jude.

SPEAKER_00 50:09

Well, do you think that he's closer to the spirit of the the one tree, or is he like further away? Like what makes him an outcast?

SPEAKER_03 50:16

Oh, because he um what does make him an outcast? I for I'm forgetting that part of the story, but he like kill another. Oh yeah, I think yeah, he like killed another one of his cars. Yeah. Or that he was responsible. Yeah, and then so, but the the um one of the water boys has a affinity for him and basically like convinces them to let him back in the tribe. I forget if that's in two or three.

SPEAKER_04 50:42

Yeah, in two, he just racks house. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:46

Because they're pacifist uh beings, and he oh yeah, he he crushes the the bad the baddies.

SPEAKER_00 50:52

Okay, so they have to do like group therapy to bring him back in and basically, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And they're like, you're forgiven like whatever that whale like.

SPEAKER_04 50:58

And then by ep three, he's the man.

SPEAKER_03 51:01

He has to come, he saves him again. I think it's like he saves him again or something.

SPEAKER_04 51:04

Nice.

SPEAKER_03 51:05

Yeah. From uh Jermaine Clement. Jermaine Clement from Flight of the Concords is in Avatar 2 and Avatar III.

SPEAKER_00 51:13

And it's like, and he kind of like sold his career away. They're like, I'm sorry, dude, you you gotta get locked away for like ten years. Like, I know I understand you're funny and charming, but like you're gonna have to be in like James Cameron's basement for ten years. What was he doing?

SPEAKER_03 51:26

They were in New Zealand anyway, right? Yeah. I'm assuming those are in New Zealand.

SPEAKER_04 51:30

He was getting residuals from what we do in the shadows. And he's he's in the same Hawaiian shirt he's in in the movie. He's playing.

SPEAKER_00 51:38

That made me so I I will say, man, I I that made me like depressed when I saw that because I was like, this guy's so fucking funny, and I love Flight of the Concord so much, and I'm like, now you're in this fucking bullshit. Look, this is where Giovanni Rabisi goes to die.

SPEAKER_03 51:52

This is where sneaky Pete goes to die. Dude, he snuck his way into the top three grossing movies of all time. And also Sam Worthington's.

SPEAKER_00 52:06

Would not exist without this these. Oh, for sure. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but like that parties that like um James Cameron hosts, he like makes Giovanni Rabisi like get his drinks for him.

SPEAKER_03 52:15

Oh, he must.

SPEAKER_00 52:16

Yeah, he's like, okay, answer the door, dude.

SPEAKER_03 52:18

But Giovanni Rabisi's like in like deep in Scientology. I don't know if either you guys are Scientologists, so but I don't know, maybe he has like some sway or some pull, or like he thinks that he made it all happening. I can tell you about that when we stop recording. Great, thanks, yeah. No worries. Sigourney Weaver playing like a 16-year-old kid. Yeah, she plays like a reincarnated version of her own spirit in a Navi that's sort of avatared.

SPEAKER_04 52:40

Yeah, that's really one of the most impressive things in the movies for me, is like how good the motion capture is and also how good she is at playing that part.

SPEAKER_03 52:49

I mean, again, that's not in that's not in Fern Gully, you know what I mean? That part of the story. It gets so weird. Tim Curry is in Ferngully, dude. He is.

SPEAKER_00 52:58

Yeah, well, that's what's having sex with Sigourney Weaver is like, actually. Tim Curry? The hair stuff. No, no, like the hair stuff. Um, yeah, she's really into that. That's what I heard, you know.

SPEAKER_03 53:10

She sleeps, she sleeps above the covers, three feet above the covers.

SPEAKER_04 53:14

Nice, nice, nice, nice. So, what made you want to bring Avatar here today?

SPEAKER_03 53:22

I mean, yeah, is Avatar a simple story that has like been rehashed, or is Avatar the core story of humanity that AWA has been calling us to write, and James Cameron's the first person to like tap into it and other bites at the apple like Ferngully and uh uh Pocahontas got close?

SPEAKER_04 53:42

I don't know. This is really ringing true to that DMT antenna that I told you about. I was thinking about that too.

SPEAKER_00 53:49

Yeah, yeah, you you did DMT and the machine elves were like, hey, have you seen Avatar?

SPEAKER_03 53:53

They're like, yeah, hey, there's a collective consciousness that we can tap into. I've never been on hallucinogens when watching an Avatar movie, surprisingly, but uh it feels like a hallucinatory experience. It feels like a window into this other place in the way that it's immersive. So I don't know, I just wanted to like play in that world, I guess, is is why I wanted to take it to you. And because I know everyone's a hater.

SPEAKER_04 54:15

This feels dangerous because we're in our classic podcast pose, but Jersey, you're sitting in sort of a Buddhist stance right now. You're extolling to us how perhaps the posture is like horrific. Or a yeah, or a like ancient uh like primal tradition.

SPEAKER_03 54:33

I'm a gumpist, I'm a gumpist, okay. But I'm just thinking maybe there's a way of looking at gump that we haven't considered. All right, and then maybe I'm the living gump on earth.

SPEAKER_00 54:41

And I feel like I feel like if Forrest Gump went to Avatar movies, he'd be like, This is all bullshit. I don't like this. You know what I mean? Like he he he would he would sniff it out.

SPEAKER_04 54:52

Navi. He would probably no, I feel honestly, I feel like gump is kind of a Sully. Sully is a is a gump almost.

SPEAKER_03 55:02

Sully is an activated gump. Yes. And y'all clocked us about Forrest Gump. He does nothing, he's a nothing guy. He's just some fucking idiot who just happens to be there because of coincidence. But Sully is a gump who makes choices to get into further gumping. So he is uh he's just as much of a fool, just as much of a doesn't quite understand what's going on around him, but he makes the choice, and I think that's beautiful.

SPEAKER_04 55:29

I I do want to say this. I think we've I think we've unlocked maybe a level or a tenant to gumpism. Is that like what does gump care about? Like he cares about like excelling at things or at least like doing things well, right? And usually that's just the situation that he's within. He finds himself in the military and so he's gonna like do it to the best of his ability. He finds himself playing ping pong and so he like rises through the ranks, but he is not making the decisions. When is he making decisions? When it comes to people he loves and his family. That's when he gumps in a direction.

SPEAKER_03 56:05

Okay, I feel like we're getting into dangerous territory. I just want to go back to that Reddit thread really quickly. What's your least favorite dark era episode? Right?

SPEAKER_00 56:15

Um What has it gotta be? I feel like what do you think it is?

SPEAKER_03 56:18

I favorite my This was posted by Reddit user you slash Tyler from Grammarly, and everybody says the same episode. Oh god. Okay. Wrap up with shrimp beef. I knew it is nobody, it's like everyone has a different like bottom five, but that's the bottom for everybody. Not because that shrimp beef is like a nautical mile away from the microphone during the whole thing, but because that's the episode where the gump division happened, where we flirted with dark gump. Yeah, okay. This is why the first subreddit got shut down.

SPEAKER_00 56:56

So like you're yeah, yeah, that was the one where he postulated where like gump would have gumped would be an Elon Musk.

SPEAKER_03 57:01

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, I don't want to touch anything too dangerous, but like that's when it that's when it happened. And Jude, you got to a place where I mean something began that I think that I think is spiral out of control, and you know, the mod the mods of the first subreddit shut it down, but um I think it it's possible to reawaken.

SPEAKER_00 57:25

Uh so I I'm recalling like unfortunately, I don't want to like go back to that headspace. But like I remember looking at Shrimp like here now and like him looking at me and me looking at him, and then he his face kind of like turned into like a Tom Hanks kind of like image, and it was like you know, like no color, and it's like had like big like dark pupils, and it was like just L Bay, Obey, Obey. Um and yeah, I was kind of like drawn into that um for a little bit, you know.

SPEAKER_04 57:52

Flirted with it for a bit, and um, yeah, it was like uh I think everybody who is pursuing gump maybe follows that for a bit or at least is tempted into that space, is is we all must deal with the dark gump as well as the gump of light.

SPEAKER_00 58:08

Because you have to let go. And when you when you do that, yes.

SPEAKER_03 58:13

But all the all those both of those gumps are contained within the one true gump.

SPEAKER_04 58:18

Much like Afroman, we contain multitudes. We contain multitudes, we are vast jump.

SPEAKER_03 58:24

The famous Afro Man quote, we are vast, we contain multitudes.

SPEAKER_04 58:28

Well, the gump the quote of Afroman's I'm is that he he doesn't like Donald Trump, but at least he's trying to get the bathrooms right.

SPEAKER_03 58:37

Oh, I missed that one. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 58:40

Oh great, yeah. Um, so gump is just like that. Yeah, that's gump. Now it's avatar, though. Jake Sully is a gump. Um we please a jigadasuly.

SPEAKER_02 58:53

Nurse, this guy can make a bolognaise, can't he?

SPEAKER_04 58:55

Nurse Jackie, she's like, hey, I'm I'm here with the United States military.

SPEAKER_03 59:00

Nurse Jackie been there for a decade, huh?

SPEAKER_04 59:02

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, uh Edie Falco comes in with a crazy accent.

SPEAKER_00 59:06

When I watch the Sopranos, I'm like, oh fuck, yeah, Tony's married to Nurse Jackie. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 59:11

That's really the cultural touchdown for Edie Falco Nurse.

SPEAKER_04 59:14

We've now talked about two shows you've been on, Jersey. Do you like this? What was the first one? Sneaky Pete.

SPEAKER_03 59:18

Sneaky Pete and Nurse Jackie, two shows that I have appeared on. You were on Sneaky Pete? Yeah, I love that I love that. Two episodes of Sneaky Pete and one episode of Nurse Jackie. Hell yeah. That's funny.

SPEAKER_04 59:29

Um so she comes in with a crazy like Jersey accent, and then you know, there's people with like Texas accents in this thing. Where is Earth and what is happening on there where these people exist?

SPEAKER_03 59:43

So there is a cut scene from Avatar One that takes place on Earth. Have you watched? Do you know about this? No. Okay, this is not a bit. Sorry for saying this is not a bit. The but it's Jake's Jake Uzuli is like a drinker, and I think he's in New York City, surprisingly, not Boston. Because it shows like Times Square and stuff, and it shows what Earth is like in the age of Avatar, it's the whole beginning, and it shows how he gets selected. He like gets in a bar fight and he's seeing all the stuff on the news about like we're populating this other planet, Pandora, and it adds this kind of like gritty, you know, post-apocalyptic or you know, during apocalyptic.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:21

He's in like the Olive Garden in Times Square.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:23

Yeah, is it kind of like idiocracy? A little bit, yeah. Yeah, it is that sort of like hyper grotesquify like technology run amok, and he's just drinking in a bar and he gets in a fight. I think he's like trying to protect a woman from uh a tough guy who's like being a big thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:40

Yeah, he's trying to like protect an AI generated image of uh she could have been.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:44

You can't tell anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:46

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:47

Um and and then he gets thrown out from of the bar, and then some like you know, some guys from the government are like, Jay Sully, come with us, you know. And then it shows him go through all that thing uh of like going to Pandora.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:01

So maybe these like hyper focused dialects would be more pronounced because they've divided into these like oligarch city-states.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:11

Well, we don't talk about that. I know. I'll do reference.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:16

Also, I I hate to just I was just expounding on the I hate to go off association, but you know who was also thrown out of a bar on New Year's Eve in a wheelchair in Times Square? Lute.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:27

I thought you were gonna say like pops up when you least expect it. Dude, the gump is like so powerful. Lieutenant Day.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:36

Oh god, your gump is so fucking good, dude.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:39

Um it's so in me.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:41

Yeah, it's really there. It's so weird. It's deep in there. Uh yeah, so that so that's what's happening on Earth. Yeah. And I think that it's also like a Star Trek situation where we've passed, like we're we've we're having um issues with like other planets, so all of the humans are like united in humanity in a way. Right. So it's like a further because like colonialism is not like we did Earth, Earth is done, Earth is fucked, you know, the environment's done. We've all like had war with each other, but now it's like rather than we're all at peace, like in the Star Trek world, you just we just take it on the road, you know. But the humans are all together now, so it doesn't matter what your race is, as long as you're not blue.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:24

Yeah, we all like look like Louis Guzman at this point, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and talk like it. And hopefully, yeah, yeah, we all talk like him.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:32

Who wants to go first? Um, amazing. Uh any any last thoughts on where are what are we? I mean, so you are taking on sequels from this.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:44

When we talk about these franchises, yeah, like just to give us a little preview, did you consider that there are other movies coming out?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:53

One of the three considers all the movies that have come out and the potential other movies that will come out and is intended to be nestled within that continuum. And then two the other two pitches are just pitch sequels to the first movie. Okay. Alright. Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:10

Let's get into the pitch room then. Uh Jersey, you've come in with three pitches to give to Jude and myself about what a potential sequel to Avatar or something within the Avatar franchise could be.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:20

My first pitch is called Avatar. But Tar is a capital T. Kate Blanchett stars as Lydia Tar, who gets so cancelled for abusing and harassing female co-eds and being a fraud in her career, that she has to go even further to conduct uh concerts, including the military base of Pandora. And that's where she learns about Avatar technology, which allows her to, when she returns back to Earth, to jack into a lost moment elsewhere in time.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:53

It's like a USO situation. Yeah, basically. Yeah, basically.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:57

I have you seen the movie Tar? Yes, yeah, yeah. Okay. So uh so she's able to go uh jack jack into a lost moment in time, which is the moment where uh Leonard Bernstein selected his assistant conductor. So she basically avatars into Bradley Cooper as maestro and gets to choose Lydia Tar as his assistant to correct her lie and put her path, her life on the right track. Okay. That's number one.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:23

I love this. This feels very like Nolan to me. Um, this feels like we're getting two prestige films just already handed to us on a platter. We get like a Kaufmann in to write this thing, and we get like a Nolan to direct, maybe. We try to see if they'll work together. Um mind bending.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:43

It sounds good too. Also, I'm from my head, I'm thinking like this is the origin of like the skinwalker. Okay, yeah. You know what I mean? So it's like maybe the skinwalker actually is like a uh a defunct avatar or something that's like going between bodies, you know, that's like able to like manifest itself in these situations where you know, like maybe by the end it's just like this horrific beast or something. I see this. It could be kind of like horrific too.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:08

Yeah, and then you know, both these people they are the beast within themselves, too. Man is the real monster. The real monster.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:15

And like this like this Yeti thing is just Tar, like the the fifth time.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:20

Um, is there some sort of like horrific body horror element to maybe the jacking into Maestro situation?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:27

Oh, I think it's it's interesting you mentioned Charlie Kaufman because it also has shades of Malkovich, right? Which I did see instead of a Titanic, right? And um so it's I think it's a little bit more like psychological identity horror um rather than body horror. At least that's how I'm thinking of it, but I'm open to it. If there's like a sort of Soderberg angle you want to go, or you know.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:50

No, I like that, yeah. The Kate's attached, yeah. I was thinking about yeah, like a Fincher or somebody also like the game. I like this. I like it, it feels Dark, uh, we're taking it away from Pandora. It's also well, there's still a little Pandora to like tie it in, but is it it starts on Pandora?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:08

Is this technically a pun? Avatar. Yeah. Perfect. Okay. A really good.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:13

I just want to like get that to Jordan just so he like and like absorb it.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:17

Jude knows what a pun so thank you, Jude. I'm growing. Thank you for telling me that that was a pun.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:22

Um all right. Uh let's see pitch two. That's really good. Thank you, thank you, thank you, sharks. Um pitch two is Avatar Blue Collar.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:31

That's the name. It's it's Avatar Colin Blue Collar.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:35

Okay, so this is a working person's drama that chronicles Jake Sully's old drinking buddy. Uh her name's Francis, and she works in a factory on Earth during the events of Avatar that makes like giant Ed Hardy shirts and huge Oakley glasses for like navi-sized military guys that you know just really want a piece of earth or comfort on Pandor, even though they're on you know, another planet. Yeah. And she organizes her colleagues to form a union and convince them not only are they participating in this like exploitative scheme, but they themselves are being exploited.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:18

Okay, I like this too. Um thoughts?

SPEAKER_00 1:07:23

Uh yeah, I'm getting that like Aaron Brokovich kind of kind of vibe here. Um you know, I just I so there wouldn't be any Navi in this movie, but it would just be implied that they're not.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:37

Yeah, no, the Navi are implied because you're making the b the stuff for the big blue guys that are like because it's military, it's not a military operation. It's the military industrial complex that they're all participating in. I kind of like the Norma Ray of the factory.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:47

Yeah, and I kinda like the idea of them just like uh sweating and um you know breaking their souls and bodies over these like oak leys that have to like fit around a Navi head.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:57

Yeah. It's very um poignant because I think you're taking a story that we're disconnecting from the struggle of humanity and putting onto you know Navi, something we see every day, and that and somehow more people are like interested in watching that and seeing that take place than they are, you know, right in front of them when it happens to you know their everyday uh human. And then you're taking that disconnect that they have from it and how they've attached that and then reconnecting it back to humanity. Yeah. So we can say, like, oh, this is an avatar story about humans. That's the other title is blue collar and avatar story.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:33

Yeah, well, that's where they tell like all the all the people that are running those like phone farms in India, they're like, You're actually like trying to get Navi to give you their social security numbers.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:43

This is was inspired because a in the third avatar movie, Koric, the like colonel guy, is wearing a giant like Ed Hardy shirt as a blue avatar, and it's like where who who make that? And two, because in Titanic, it's like the lowest class of people is you know Leo DiCaprio, and then they go below that to the guys who are operating the steam engines on the boat, and they're like not even people, and they're the people that die first. And so I think like that's very Cameron to do that whole again, that look at class structure.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:11

And do you think Ed Hardy saw those guys and they were like those guys? The Ed Hardy. They deserve nice shirts.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:17

Yeah. I think Ed Hardy makes shirts for working people.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:21

Like people that just like are like kind of like throwing things into giant glowing furnaces.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:26

Yeah. Well, it also their function is in making the camouflage and the flak jackets and all that stuff too. Like that stuff also happens. I like the putting it into even further beyond that, like the leisure wear of this.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:40

I think like there was already the military wear, and then somebody had an idea, you know, became a military contractor. Like somebody who used to work on the floor of the other factory that was making the regular stuff, you know, too. So there's a striver thing to it as well. Yeah, that'd be nice.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:56

I wish I could have that idea to be like, I, you know, I think I think I could military contract this, you know, like what the military needs now. Like the needs have probably changed, you know. Like what is what is like the military need? Like, probably we uh, you know, like a like an anime girl they can all date. So if you could create that and trademark it, like you could make a like a language model that could talk in her voice. Um her name could be Jordan. Um I wish for him.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:23

Oh, I read this one actually on AF3. That's it.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:26

What subreddit is that on?

SPEAKER_03 1:10:27

Oh, that's not that's on our own fanfiction.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:30

Oh my god. I'm so terrified to go on Reddit tonight. I can't like man. But you guys just hit 500k subscribers, so that's really exciting.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:37

On the subreddits, I don't know what the show numbers are like.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:40

I mean it's it's exciting for like the podcast, but it's like less exciting for like the egos, I guess. Yeah. It's gonna be really weird to read all that stuff.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:46

Don't don't read any of the stay above ignorant and indifferent. I won't look at the smoke. Um The Ed Hardy in this is kind of this twisted portrait of like a wonka gone, you know, too far. So it is like, what is the twisted capitalist who has a brand that is very blue-collar and then you know brings it to the farthest form of like military exploitation.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:14

So also like wants to kill kids a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:17

I mean, I I don't think at that point you want to kill kids, it is just a byproduct of work.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:24

It's like the subreddit, he just like doesn't look up.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:26

Yeah. Remain ignorant and indifferent. Um all right, pitch three.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:33

Yeah, okay. So pitch three is titled Avatar, Colonel Ploam and Gak. So, yeah. So this is basically like think of this as like the 11th Avatar movie. Okay. Oh, okay. We've been in the continuum where it's like, you know, I had this bit with my friends, and maybe you at the time when that show was coming out, what was it called? With the vampires, um, true blood, right? With Suki Stack House. Uh and a pack one of Sucky. And it's like Suki. Yeah, and the so the first season is like, there's vampires here, and then the second season is like, now there's werewolves here. Yes. And then the third season is like, hold on, fairies, and it like keeps getting stupider. Like the adding to it. So we're taking uh deal with like season eight. Yeah, season eight of True Blood would be like, now there's a Frankenstein. So this is like Louisiana Frankenstein. Yeah. So this is like taking avatar, it like keeps going. So obviously it's like water, fire. Next one, we got rock avatars, right? Yeah. Then maybe like some ice avatar, right? Then maybe there's like avatars made out of like other beings.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:49

They like our avatars that are like oh yeah, they're like a collective consciousness or like a yeah. I think of Avatar Spirit is probably something you'd see.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:58

Yeah. Wait, so are you predicting that the end is just like call-in, like product press placement?

SPEAKER_03 1:13:05

Here is what it here's here's kind of my theory of the case, which is so because the core of this story, again, the most successful story in all of human history, Avatar Avatar, is that uh this community is uh it's reckoning with like humanity kind of becoming part of this pristine community in all the ways it changes and is forever changed by it, like introducing guns into this thing where the guns didn't exist before. So the society starts to be shaped by humanity. So after generations and generations and generations of evolution, things from humanity start to become part of their thing. And that there's this one tribe that we meet in the 11th uh movie that's like super into Nickelodeon products from the 90s, yeah, and they sort of base their whole technology on the two greatest things that humans ever created phloem and gak. A sort of it's really fire and water, you know, but in Nickelodeon.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:58

I have two pitches in this mini pitches. So perhaps what we find out is that there are essentially two natural occurring substances on Pandora that are a perfect replication of phloem and gak. So it's like, oh now this is why the resurgence has happened, not because like there's you know it's being produced on Earth, but it's because they're like, look, we could just sell this on Earth as Phlom and GAC and bring that back. That's the first pitch. Yeah. Thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:31

Uh I think the US military would be like, well, we could use this gak to seal off the Straits of Hormouth or whatever. You know what I mean? Like the US military would be very interested in like uh military grade phlom and gak.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:44

And then yeah, Jim Maine has to stop them, or like his great great great granddaughter has to like stop them from doing that.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:49

Yeah, or like a pharmaceutical company comes with a new painkiller called GAC.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:54

Or like because it like unobtainium and the painkiller's like pain go away, EM, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:59

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh you watch uh laundry feel good em or something. I don't know. What would you kid stop screaming?

SPEAKER_04 1:15:07

Oh, well, give me some. So second part of this pitch is that like we're looking at this avatar movie down the line, right?

SPEAKER_05 1:15:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:13

Um, it's probably not gonna come out for another what 30, 50 years, but it's filming now. It's yeah, it's in development now.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:20

It's in like vertical short film.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:22

James Cameron is in their mind space already dead, and they have acquired the full rights to produce Avatar, post him without all the fucking woke bullshit. Really just like lean into the product play. Yeah. Um, and so this is going to be in some sort of nostalgia resurgence, which we can maybe kind of seed into the community before this movie comes out.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:48

So they're gonna be nostalgic for like the first uh avatar?

SPEAKER_04 1:15:51

They're gonna be nostalgic for the first avatar, they're gonna be nostalgic for Flum and Gak because in their old people brains, that's all gonna be kind of one error type.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:00

So they're gonna love like jib jab. Yes. Yeah. They're gonna be like, John carries a flip-flopper.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:06

And kids are gonna be like, that's such 2000s bullshit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:12

Yeah. I I I would challenge you to find a 25-year-old tomorrow and be like, John carries a flip-flopper and just see what they say. They would love it. Jib jab really tickled the recesses of my brain. My mom still pays for a gib jab.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:28

She sends you the Christmas cards. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:30

She pays like a monthly subscription. And the thing is, like, I saw it. Like, I saw her credit card because I was like, Can you just because every Christmas she sends a jib jab of the whole family.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:40

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:41

And I was like, Can you just show me like the website? Like, I just want to see it. You know what I mean? Like, to be nice. And like she did, and like her credit card is in there. They charge her monthly.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:50

Like, oh, but that does come with a some e-cards membership, too. Oh, well, that's weird.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:57

Yeah, yeah, it she keeps getting like e-bombs world uh like messages.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:01

Yeah, like Jib Jab is now like a subsidiary of Skydance Paramount or something. She doesn't know she has like free Paramount Plus and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:10

Like, what is the what is the like really bad one that does like the group get togethers? Uh uh Palantir is like gun. No, yeah, because like uh my mom was like, Can you send me a picture of Steph?

SPEAKER_04 1:17:22

Because like I gotta put her in this like jib jab You know they're AI learning from these pictures, mom.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:29

When they're developing the conversation that we have, hey, Merry Christmas. That's actually them machine learning how our family interacts, how to put our heads on new bodies.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:38

No, dude, they're actually it's better than that. They're actually creating a North Pole that's real. Like Jib Jab is working with the US government to create uh versions of us as elves.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:48

Does that include does that bundle include the you're the man now dog? You're the man now, dog, ytmnd.com bundle.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:57

Yes. Um all the memes that comes with that. So good.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:01

I love the unhinged nature of uh Flum and Gak. I I feel like Sturmundrang. Sturm und Drang. Flum und Gak. I feel like we may be for us to like write an Avatar movie though, does sound like a lot.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:22

Yeah, dude. And it's my turn.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:24

That's literally the premise of your show.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:26

Did you bring your brother on to pitch avatar because you know it's my turn?

SPEAKER_03 1:18:31

This is also a a white, a blue canvas, right? You could you could go any direction with it. I'll just say sharks, like if you want to um if it there's other product placement or like in the same way that an avatar 2, it's like oh the water people, but also the whale, like the Plocoon. You know, what else is there on the planet? You could because I know you like to kind of go off, you know? Yeah, go you can go any direction from Floeman Gak.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:54

Like we could meet them and then meet like I'm the woman shark in the situation.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:57

There's an avatar like made out of Skittles or something, you know.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:00

Yeah. Have you ever tasted the rainbow and then they like fly up into the atmosphere? Oh, they blow it. Because there's some yeah, there's some creature they're on that can go even higher, and there's some sort of like inter-atmosphere phenomenon that they can like eat that's made out of Skittles. Yeah, the sharks the sharks are going to love this.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:22

Oh, the sharks are like this.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:23

We do need to get a Kevin O'Leary cameo.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:26

We we need to talk about it. He'll do it.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:29

He'll fucking do it. Is he he's Canadian? The most shocking thing of all those interviews is finding out he was Canadian. I was like, damn, of course he is. But at the same time, I was also disappointed.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:39

Stolen American capitalism.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:41

Yeah, stolen valor. Yeah. Why can't an American, a true United States American? They should include um Billy Bob Thornton as landman, as a shark. And he's like, well, look, you're gonna have to deal with people, and that's the hardest thing you're gonna deal with.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:00

Fuck it, I'll do it myself.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:02

Exactly. Dude, it's like man, it's you know, it's like middle management, just the hero of middle management.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:09

God damn.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:10

You guys should start a landman appreciation cast, but I'm sure there are probably a hundred already.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:16

And they're all like, ugh, season two kind of sucked. That's what all happened with landman.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:19

Yeah, no, but it was fine, it wasn't bad. They they they essentially replaced um Don Draper with uh the woman from the substance. This is what I do for names now because it's faster.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:30

Much like Tony, uh much like uh Demi Moore or Margaret Qually. Okay Demi Moore. Yeah, much like Edie Falco is Nurse Jackie, Demi Moore is the woman from the substance. Yeah. Yeah. And added Sam Elliott as his dad, which is the most brilliant casting in the history of the world.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:50

I'm so I'm not surprised they got him for Landman. But it just brings us back to Starzbourne where he's the older brother of uh Chris Kyle.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:00

Sam Elliott is already online uh Yellowstone or no?

SPEAKER_02 1:21:04

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:05

Oh, okay. He's at him on it's all the same.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:07

Yeah. It's all the same, dude. It's all it's all part of the Longhorn Steakhouse extended universe.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:14

You always were a stubborn prick, son. Well, god damn it, dad. I have to work all goddamn day.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:22

Every episode. That man is like almost 90 years old.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:26

And he still has sexy scenes with like 19-year-olds on that show.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:31

As he should. On a show with Ashton Kutcher, too. The ranch. Um Jude. Jordan. I'm I'm here with you. You know, we've got we've got a lot. It seems like you're taking on the responsibility for this script. Oh my god. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:50

I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:51

Um, I think the first one is maybe a little too um a little too cerebral to dive into right now. Yeah. In the emotional state that you're in. Yeah. Um remind me of the second one. It's the um they're uh it's a union organizer. Yeah, they're crafting the Ed Hardy shirts.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:16

That one might be better for me, I think. I think I might take on the the union one. I think that would be more fun.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:23

I think especially in this age, we're gonna eschew kind of the bringing capitalism to its like parody end.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:31

Yeah, also I was like my my um whatever is between your your penis and anus was tickled by Jimmy Hoffa earlier.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:42

My taint. Um so I was like, oh, well, like maybe we could work in like an avatar, Jimmy Hoffa, that's like fighting for the rights of people that are like trying to support the avatars and he hates the avatars because the avatars are like the Kennedys or something. Yeah. That's fun.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:57

Bring it back to the Kennedys.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:59

Maybe there's like one Navi on Earth, or maybe there is like a they've started using the avatars to make workers or like make people into Navi. So maybe like cops are Navi now.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:10

Or they put like the Kennedys into Navies, and you're like, you're putting these stupid inbred fucks and making them relevant into like actual like beings that are gonna live forever. You know what I mean? Yeah. So it's like the dumbest people on earth like now have access to these like superhuman bodies that can live forever, and then also you have like a working class of people that are just meant to completely support them.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:33

I love this.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:33

That's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:34

That's pretty good. And then we're connecting the worlds without it being like. I just feel like I did Jersey's job for him, but like that's fine. No, this is our job now. We developed this. I think I done my job. I don't want to do anything else. I I had a segment, I'm throwing it away just because I've been so demoralized by all this Reddit talk.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:52

So Reddit user Oh boy Shania Twain poster.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:58

That's my father-in-law.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:59

Wrote Why does Jordan always accuse Jude of not knowing things and getting things wrong? Here's a list of all of the things that Jordan has gotten wrong on Squeakels just off the top of my head.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:15

Oh my god. I feel like Enya is playing in my head right now.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:19

He called Jonathan Lipnicky Ricky Stanicki. I think this might have been a joke, but he obviously couldn't think of the name Jonathan Lipnicky.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:27

Yeah, I I actually did. I remember letting you off the the I I let you off the chain for that one or whatever, because I was like, what did he just say? Like I thought you were talking about like uh Chris Crumbs.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:36

You just said let him off the I don't know what the word would be. Don't appeal to me. This is not me. The post is the 920 poster. You're talking about the kid. I know, I know.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:46

Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:47

Oh, there we go. Name. The movie is a name, so it's my Jerry McGuire.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:52

Jordan called the Dunning Kruger effect the Cronning Dogger effect.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:58

That's really funny. That's just funny knowing what that means. That makes you a cunning Kruger all-star. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:07

He said, he said that the meme was of the dress was that it was a gold and white dress that looked black and blue. The dress was black and blue. That one, I'll leave. Yeah, that's fine. Okay. Okay, this isn't my this I'm just reading all of them. But here's one that I also agree with where you you guys are doing all the shark movies, right? Yeah. And he's like, the only one you can come up with is Shark Tail, and it's not even gonna be on the list. And then it was number three on the list.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:32

I remember that. I didn't say anything.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:34

And you just let it go by, okay. Um humorous effect. Humorous effect. He thought that the commissioner at NFL was named George something.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:42

It's Roger Goodell. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:43

And then he also, and this is just an omission where I just want to say it's a big, it's a big step for me to even know enough about football.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:51

That's your back.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:52

That's true. That's true.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:53

That's true. You are level three, Jordan, right now. The hat came down again. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's in the picking up.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:00

He's a level three. Okay, there's more. Uh oh, this is just an omission. Um, just a amazing fact is that the movie about the maker of Alf is called Permanent Midnight, and it was written by, starring, and directed by Ben Stiller. Okay. Just FYI, the fake Alf movie. That's a great thing to know. Yeah. Um I should have known that. Oh, and then there's one for one for Jude.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:24

Have you had Ben Stiller Soda? Have you had Ben Stiller Soda?

SPEAKER_03 1:26:27

No, I haven't had Ben Stiller's soda. Stillers? Is that really? That's pretty good. Yeah. Oh, good. Good for him. Oh, and yeah, Jude, uh people don't like that you use ChatGPT. I know, I'm sorry. No, it's fine. It's not me. It's not me. It's not me. Um and then, oh, you said Kareem Abdul Jabbar went to some other college besides UCLA, but he famously went to UCLA. Oh my god, I said he went to Kansas.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:48

Oh, you're right. Oh my god, I'm sorry. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:49

No, that's what listen, I'll go. I'm in the muck of the credits. I'll go say, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:54

No, I know. I I I take the ownership of that. I'm so sorry. Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:59

So um we've got our movie in mind, Jude. Yes. Jersey. It's been so good having you here, not just because I love you as a brother, um, but also because uh yeah, you hold us accountable on each appearance that you make. The only thing that I'm sad about, I'm so happy that you have this new step in your life, and you're gonna have a child, and I'm gonna have another uh nephew, and this is very exciting. Uh, and the only thing that I I rue about that is that we will no longer be held accountable for all the things we do wrong on this.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:32

Yeah, I I do feel like this was like, Jersey, like you're like an angelic being. I agree. Kind of like came down from from nowhere um and corrected all of the things that were wrong on this podcast, and we really need you back.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:48

A reckoning was had. I'm here, I'm here on behalf of the people who just want, you know, I just wanted to curate for you so that you don't see it could be overwhelming to see it all at once from the community. So I just wanted to share with you drips and drips.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:00

Yeah. Thank you. I I know I said I would never do psychedelics again, but if Jersey's involved, I will definitely. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:06

Well, that's one of the safest, most com wonderful things I've heard. I'm on psychedelics right now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:13

If you want to do like a like a like an Airbnb or whatever and like hang out, I've never done Airbnb before. That's fine. We'll figure it out. And I'm I quit.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:20

This kid, ChatGPT, Airbnb. I was gonna say I just quit it. Yeah. Coffee, all these things. You can find us on all social media at squeak pod. You can find us at Gmail at squeakpodcast at gmail.com. Send us your thoughts about future movies to do, about thoughts you might have. Like maybe people you want to hurt. People you want to hurt, we'll find them, we'll take care of them for you as long as we do a thorough background search and they look weaker than we are. Exactly. Yeah. Um, send us your thoughts on gump. We care. We want to hear, we know that there's some division within the community. What we're here to do is unify under the most powerful of those groups.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:03

And I've been hearing a lot of shit about like Eastern Orthodox Gump, and I don't want to hear that shit anymore. Because it's not, I'm not breaking it up, right? We're we're not breaking it up.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:13

If we have one good unifying gump, we're not gonna have like an even more fractal order of that one good order. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:22

And that's all you have to say about that.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:25

Thank you so much, Jersey. Thanks for having me, guys. It was really fun. I mean, thank you for being here. I love you too. Thanks, Judy, for having you too. Bye.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:34

Alright, great. Thank you, Jersey. Thanks for having me so long, I'm so sorry. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:39

Oh, it's great.