The Basketball Diaries

Have you ever seen this movie?

It's a good time. We joke about it.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I forgot to send my dad a picture of our AI baby for Father's Day.

SPEAKER_03 0:04

Oh my he didn't check in at all. He wasn't like, Oh, he's the worst pitbull.

SPEAKER_01 0:08

Yeah. I called him and he said we we talked for a bit and then he said, When am I getting that uh baby pitbull update? And we had talked for a while about a few things and I was like, Oh yeah, I'll get home and I'll I'll make sure I send it off to you, of course. And then I think he was gonna say to me happy birthday, but he forgot. So we went through the entire conversation on Father's Day uh without him wishing me a happy birthday. Did you like lead him on? No, uh this birthday this year was like I wasn't really trying to focus on it too much. Okay, you know, I I just kind of I took myself out to like a lunch.

SPEAKER_03 0:50

Well, because if I were you, I just would have been like, you know, baby Pipple, you know, her birthday. Yeah, her birthday is when she was uh, you know, brought into she was hallucinated on you know June 14th. Of course, Gemini. Um, just to lead him on and to try to get him to be like, hey, you know, you're missing something here, Pops.

SPEAKER_01 1:11

Yeah, he did say, like, uh, there's one more thing I was gonna say, but uh I guess I'll maybe I'll think of it later. I'll text you. I was like, okay. Was it was it happy birthday? Was it happy birthday to your baby boy?

SPEAKER_04 1:27

Get the bundle ready.

SPEAKER_03 1:40

I do have this cousin named Ryan. Do you have someone in your family that everyone just dunks on? Because like they don't want to like make fun of everyone. So there's just like one family member and you just always dunk on this. They're a specific scapegoat or do they deserve it? They don't really deserve it. He's just like an Uber nerd, basically. Okay. Hey, and like his, you know, his Instagram bio is like, you know, Disney Dad, um, ENFJ, uh Philadelphia sports fanatic.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

I love having the what is that, the the psychology profile.

SPEAKER_03 2:19

Yes, yeah, the uh the Myers Briggs. The Myers Briggs next to like Philly Sports and Disney Dad. And yeah, and he definitely he kind of talks like cousin Kyle, Kyle's cousin Kyle from South Park a little bit. Yes, so we'll you know, we kind of do that one, and then he posts pictures of himself running like half marathons, and they're like not flattering. Cool. So my sister and I will just send pictures of him uh running half marathons, and then whenever the Eagles lose, he posts like a selfie and he goes like game result, not ideal. So whenever something bad happens, I text my sister the selfie. He also does the smile thing. I the other thing too that's so funny is that he's totally nice, like he's like he's a fine dude. He's a Disney dad, of course. He's a Disney dad, and he's an NFTG, he's an NFTG, but like Jordan, when you take a selfie, like they should I don't think about this too much, but they should teach classes on like how you should look at the camera because like he does that thing where he like lifts his mouth up and then he opens it a little bit, like he's like getting like hit by wind. Right. So like you see way too much teeth. Yeah, you know, so that's like that's that's just I guess as my family, we just kind of dunk on one dude. That's pretty good, though. Kind of don't deserve it, yeah. The the game result not ideal is my favorite.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

It's like he did a scientific experiment and was like, the results of this uh Philly game are not ideal.

SPEAKER_03 3:52

Yeah, but you know what, to his fairness though, he he really loves wrestling. And when I was a kid, he would like give me VHS tapes of Stacey Keebler, the female wrestler. Yeah. Because he knew I liked it. And he was like, Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

Kick off to this.

SPEAKER_03 4:05

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

Yeah, that's really nice.

SPEAKER_03 4:08

Yeah, and that's what I fell in love with.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

Um Welcome to Squeak Wools, it's a sequel podcast. Uh, we are back to format this week. Jude, we believe that every movie deserves a sequel. Yes, yes. We believe uh in many things, we believe in the power of the voice, we believe in um brotherly love, we believe in just the ability to ascend through your own means, whatever that might be. We're still looking for you know purpose and and and and religion in our own right.

SPEAKER_03 4:41

We are cafeteria gumpists. I think we've established that. We go we go to gump church on major holidays. Yep. We wear our nice clothes, we bring our kids out, we have gump egg hunts.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

Gump egg hunts?

SPEAKER_03 4:54

Yeah, but but other than that, we're not really, we're not fanatics.

SPEAKER_01 4:58

We're no longer Philly fanatics result.

SPEAKER_03 5:01

Yeah. Not ideal. Results, not pod results, not ideal.

SPEAKER_01 5:06

Um, I just quickly want to check in because we're doing these like so fast and furious. Um, we had shrimps on for our recap last week. I gave him currently the mic that I'm speaking into because he's you know, he's gonna have a jazzy kit. He'll where you never know quite where he's gonna end up. If he starts talking into the mic up here by the end of pod, he'll be like three feet back, and it sounds like he's in another room on the record. Kind of a cat. He's got cat-like behavior. Yeah, and I can I can tell him as many times as I want, like, make sure wherever you are, you can move the mic, you can do all those things. I can edit out those sounds, but like make sure you're generally within this amount of space from the mic, and uh he just but you know, well he'll make direct he'll make direct eye contact with you and just shit outside the litter box. It basically it does feel like that because he'll like be on mic and then when he starts talking, he'll when he's not talking, he'll like face the mic and then he starts talking to you and then he talks away from the mic like this. And you're like, don't do that, just continue to to speak into the microphone. So I gave him this handheld, like a stand-up comedian, thinking that he would use that a little better, and I think he just held it down here like the whole time, and then I would notice him Oh, playing with the cord, kind of and then like waving it around in front of his face, and it's like this is specifically like a directional microphone, it's designed to be spoken into, not around.

SPEAKER_03 6:40

Yeah, you know, so but he's not gonna take that, you know. He's like, I I gotta look like Jerry Seinfeld out here. Oh, you know, that and that gives him the energy.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

When he's always trying to look like Jerry Seinfeld, he does kind of look like Jerry Freddie. He had a big suit era for a while. Um, but speaking of shrimps, this week we are discussing the basketball diaries. So we are back to format. If this is your first time joining us, welcome. We believe every movie deserves a sequel, and so it is our mission to watch every movie, and then we sit down, we discuss three possible pitches for a sequel to that movie, and then by the next week we write that movie. Though we are back in format, we are slightly out of format because this week we are doing no pitches. We might come up with some fun ideas of what we think might happen, but next week Shrimp will have come in written, uh, having written a sequel to a movie he pitched, the basketball diaries, without ever having watched the movie or looked up anything about it.

SPEAKER_03 7:41

That's the most entertaining part because I think he brought it up as something that he wanted to do. Yeah. He said, I want to write a sequel to the basketball diaries, and he full on said, I've never seen it. I don't know who's in it.

SPEAKER_01 7:51

Yeah, I will not watch it. Yeah. Uh, which is kind of his attitude about a lot of things. He's like a stubborn dude. If he like doesn't know something, he's like, Yeah, I'm never gonna look that up.

SPEAKER_03 8:02

But it's still exciting to like see what that brain's gonna come up with. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

He's a funny dude.

SPEAKER_03 8:07

I also want to you know follow up on something. So are we and this is for the listeners as well. I think we should do a poll because like Loving Brothers Wet Room or like the boys' playroom, yeah, I still love it. SEO, terrible, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:21

The playroom part is terrible and we'll just get grouped into like a different kind of lifestyle podcast. Yeah, but you don't want that. Um it is strange to think of like if we get that audience, would we retain them? No. They listen to this and think like it has a certain like swinger quality to it.

SPEAKER_03 8:43

Yeah, they have one favorite movie and it's Cocktail. You know what I mean? They like they haven't seen any movie past that. They're like, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 8:50

A movie about the invention of Applebee's. Exactly. Um, so the basketball diaries.

SPEAKER_03 9:01

You had never seen it. Jordan, I had never seen it, and and I'm not, I know that I tend to speak in hyperbole sometimes. This movie it shook me. Like I was I was really shocked by what I saw because I was, I think like Shrimp, I was expecting like a Coach Carter or Remember the Titans, kind of like a Disney sports movie. Um, and it turned out, like I said before, it turned out to be like Diet uh Requiem for a Dream.

SPEAKER_01 9:29

Yeah, kind of a YA novel version of Requiem for a Dream.

SPEAKER_03 9:33

Yes. Um, so I'll tell you what I thought. The first the first thought I couldn't get out of my head is in the first five minutes, there's like a Sopranos speed run.

SPEAKER_04 9:42

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_03 9:43

Like so, so I thought I thought it was like a prank or an AI or something. I don't know, because I was watching it on YouTube. So I was like, this is AI, you know, because it was like immediately the door opens and Dr. Melfi comes in and she's like, Matt, get up. It's time for you to go to school, you know.

SPEAKER_01 10:01

Yeah, Lorraine Broccco really doing the Lord's work in this movie.

SPEAKER_03 10:04

Yeah, no, it's part of the brocc it's part of the extended Bronco verse, uh including Rosolian Isles. Um yeah, and anyway, so then after that, um the the the beef boys, um, the the bouncing beef boys go on the Staten Island Ferry, and one of them uh huffs too much paint thinner and then pukes on Big Pussy Bump Bombacero. Yeah um and Big Pussy doesn't show up. He's just like gets puked on and chases them on the Staten Island Ferry.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

Yeah, and he's a relatively small pussy in this movie.

SPEAKER_03 10:34

Oh yeah, he's he's not uh filled out yet.

SPEAKER_01 10:37

No, he's he's relatively trim.

SPEAKER_03 10:38

Yeah, yeah, really trim. It's from chasing all those kids on the ferry, probably. Um, and then we got uh Christopher Maltesati. Well, that one was just like I thought it was that's when I thought it was AI. That was the pale cherry on top. Yes, exactly. That was beyond the pale when powder showed up, when Chris Christopher Moltesanti showed up as powder um and said, like, I can't even get a decent chubby anymore after showing pictures of someone having sex with a donkey, I think.

SPEAKER_01 11:09

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:10

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

That was that was I have a few things to say about that scene, but yeah. Was there another Sopranos?

SPEAKER_03 11:16

Not Sopranos, Jason, but the coach, um Oh yeah. That's like in case Joe Pesci dies, break glass guy. Like, you know.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

Um what's his name? Swifty. Yeah, Swifty. Swift, yo, Swifty signed it. Um, I love let's just talk about the coach for a second.

SPEAKER_03 11:37

Oh hell yeah. Well, can you can you need a little music cue for Coach Swifty?

SPEAKER_01 11:41

It's what it's like he um there's a moment, and I think they do it like pretty well, but immediately when he starts talking to the kids, you're like, this man is a pedophile.

SPEAKER_03 11:56

Yeah, yeah. And I don't know how that actor feels about that, but like the casting director was like there's kind of an aura about him that I think is really right for this part.

SPEAKER_01 12:06

Yeah, and the fact that he's like he has this like bravado, but he's so he's such a pipsqueak. And I it I think it plays really well. I thought about specifically him in casting this movie because there's the part where, like, um, you know, like he gets in a fight with Leo. Yeah, and you can tell the whole time that he's like being tough, but he's also like physically scared of Leonardo DiCaprio because he's like two feet taller than everybody. Yeah, like this teenager could beat me up at any time.

SPEAKER_03 12:38

And just like the tiniest little voice, like, who's gonna believe you?

SPEAKER_00 12:41

No one's gonna believe you. You did that filthy little drug addict. You're a punk. Shut up, you're no honest. You're no honest.

SPEAKER_04 12:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:48

I walk Bob Dylan on stage.

SPEAKER_03 12:50

Yeah, dude. If there was this movie, if this movie could be distilled to one phrase, it would be like, I'll suck your dick for money.

SPEAKER_01 13:01

Or like, I'll get my dick sucked for money. Because that's what ends up happening is like he doesn't even have to suck anybody's dick. He just gets his young, sweet dick sucked.

SPEAKER_03 13:13

But okay, so that's what makes it so entertaining and so baffling, I guess, is going in thinking that this is going to be Remember the Titans and seeing Swifty at first. I was like, because the movie starts out like kind of like an okay tone. Like it's a little dark, but like not terribly dark.

SPEAKER_01 13:30

No, it's it it's very so basketball diaries starring Leonardo DiCaprio, uh, Marky Mark. Yeah, Mark Mark, Marky Mark's in it. Yeah, Lorraine Bracco and and Ernie Hudson from Ghostbusters. And um, it's just kind of like this, yeah, like dark, kind of edgy, like story about these kids in New York playing basketball for their Catholic high school.

SPEAKER_03 13:53

Okay, and also the other thing, Jordan, is when like when I see a group of Catholic boys in the 90s playing basketball, I assume that they're gonna play like the black team. Right. You know, and that's gonna be like the story is how they learn to be together. Yeah. But then it just devolves into like I'm gonna have sex with men in bathrooms for money.

SPEAKER_01 14:12

Yeah, very quickly, it's like a speed run of a heroin addiction. So there's, you know, his friend who has cancer dies, and like that's feels like 20 minutes into the movie or something, and then it just goes, Did I ever tell you about the first time I did heroin? Yeah. And then the rest of the movie is just like straight decline.

SPEAKER_03 14:35

Um Yeah, they're literally, he's like dancing on a basketball court doing like naked brother stuff with his friends, yeah. And he's like, Let me tell you about the first time I did heroin. Yeah, dude. Yeah, they cut out the scene where um when Michael Imperioli dies, uh Tony Soprano comes in, and James Gandalfini comes in and just like strangles him to death, and he's like, You should have looked at you should have appreciated the stripper, you little motherfucker.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

You should appreciate the strip of you little motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01 15:01

Do you know the scene from Wet Hot American Summer where they're like, Let's go into town?

SPEAKER_03 15:07

Yes, and it just keeps escalating and escalating. Yeah, that's what this movie would be. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

Um, but I just so the first time I saw this was um I was ye I was young, I was probably about 19 years old. Okay. I was managing a cafe in Milwaukee called Sven's Cafe. The owner was Steve Goretzko. Shout out to Steve Goretzko, you creep. Um, he was like an older German guy who lived in like the Argentina LA area um in the 80s, and his entire life beyond this cafe and roasting pretty decent coffee beans, um, was just longing for the days when he was like a thin, young, probably gay man, gay boy, like doing crazy shit on VHS tape in like LA in the 80s, and like listening to Pet Shot Boys and stuff like that. Um, and so this movie meant like so much.

SPEAKER_03 16:10

Oh, I'm sure. And he was like, Oh, you know the person that plays like his smack dealer? Like, that's my buddy. Yeah, like I actually auditioned for that role. Yeah, yeah. So he kept bringing it up to you, probably.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

Um, he would invite me to like do things with him all the time. I think he had a big secret crush on me. Um, because I was, you know, skinny. Everybody thinks you think that about everybody, Jordan. And uh yeah, he invited me over to his house one night to watch the basketball diaries.

SPEAKER_03 16:35

Did he invite you over for pizza too?

SPEAKER_01 16:36

Yeah, it was pizza in the basketball diaries. And there was always like weird, creepy energy between me and him, but uh I remember watching it and I was just like, this is what this guy wants me, you know, Leonardo DiCaprio like jerking off on the roof in the rain and all this stuff. I was like, this guy's fucking weird. Probably didn't absorb a ton of the movie just because I was so weirded out the whole time.

SPEAKER_03 17:00

Yeah, yeah, it's a very uncomfortable scenario. I was watching it on YouTube on my couch, um, and every molester in my life was safely on the other side of the door. I was keeping them at bay, like K-pop demon hunters.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

Um, so revisiting it, I was like, this is a fucking good time.

SPEAKER_03 17:20

Like oh, yeah, it's definitely, and it's it's like a spectacle, too, you know? And then also, okay, so there's so many elements in this movie that like don't go together, but like are there anyway, which is kind of entertaining. That he's like a poet, yes, and like a very serious artist poet. And like when he's on the roof, I'm Jordan. He jacked that from As I Lay Dying, like the the William Faulkner book, where he's like, I just wish I could drink up the stars and touch myself and let the air that is like ripped off of Faulkner, like like that is like directly from the book, which is fine, because like whatever. But uh, but yeah, he's this very serious, like emotional guy. He writes poetry about his like little punk ass friends, he hangs out.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

Um, and he's also how do you feel about these like memoir kind of poetic movies? Like you've got your fear and loathing, you've got your basketball diaries, you've got like your bar fly.

SPEAKER_03 18:17

Yeah, yeah. Some are done better than others. This is the worst one I've ever seen. The other thing, too, is like, again, we brought up Diet Requiem for a Dream, but like having seen Requiem for like loving Requiem for a Dream. Yeah, like the way that he shows the what happens when you get that first hit. When like all the cutscenes, the eyeball and the blood injection, and the music being so amazing. And this movie essentially playing the music from like Lethal Weapon. Yes. Yes, yeah. And my favorite scene that pushed it for me was when he's on the stoop with Mark Wahlberg when they get kicked out of school.

SPEAKER_04 18:56

So good. Like, we're gonna do it.

SPEAKER_01 19:03

It's so funny because they get kicked out of school just for like one that the basketball scene with Riders on the Storm is genuinely a great scene.

SPEAKER_03 19:12

I know, I know. Okay, okay, the other thing, Jordan. Um, we talked about sports movies where the sports looks really bad. This one was good. Like the basketball looked believable and like great. I was like, damn, like whoever directed the basketball was awesome. Yeah, the basketball director. Everything else was awful. Um and also I couldn't stop thinking about the director being like, okay, so like if you guys were actually on smack, you know, you can like it. You know what I mean? Yeah. And like just them kind of doing this like very offensive, like drug addict accent on that stoop with Mark Wahlberg and Leo. That just I I had to like save it.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

Well, it's just so good because it's like it's immediately after they get kicked out of school and off the basketball team, and they are at like that level on a stoop where they're like, We got kicked out, man.

SPEAKER_04 20:06

Yeah, what are we gonna do?

SPEAKER_01 20:08

It goes so it was just one bad afternoon guy.

SPEAKER_03 20:12

I know, I know, I know. And then he does cocaine once with like a like a prostitute girl, and then it's like goes in her pill closet, and then like the next scene, he's like, Do you love when he goes back to the girl's house?

SPEAKER_01 20:28

Yeah, where's Winky and Blinky? And they're just like perfect little dolls, and they're like, Father, we don't know what he's talking about. I was like, damn, the CD underbelly of the upper class.

SPEAKER_03 20:41

Yeah, this is what it's really about. And then he closes the door and he's like, Girls Paige Epstein. You know what I mean? Like that he's got like a secret tunnel that takes him to Little St. John's back there.

SPEAKER_01 20:51

See, that was cut out of my movie. Oh, yeah, they didn't like that one. Yeah. Um, so this is kind of, you know, just to speak to our show, this is kind of a departed reunion. You know, one of our first episodes, I think our first true format episode of the book. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Yeah, we get um we get Marky Mark and Leo brought together. Was this their first movie together? Probably. It had to have been. Yeah. Yeah. Um, Leo Young, still good. Like you can tell he's got the thing.

SPEAKER_03 21:21

Oh, yeah. And he he's going for it. Yeah, he's giving he's putting everything into this role. I just I don't think he's like street sleazy enough to kind of like pull it off.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

No, and like even at those scenes, he's still just like this beautiful wayfish little boy.

SPEAKER_03 21:36

Yeah, yeah. Even like a Timothy Chamelet in that role would have done better because he can look worse than Leo. Because they they refuse to like make him not look beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 21:47

Yeah. He's got like bruises and stuff, but his hair is always just perfect. Perfect. Um, he's paired against Marky Mark. Marky Mark, once again, it's like a very energetic performance like you get in a boogie night. It's there's nothing great happening on screen here. Uh-huh. But he like does the job.

SPEAKER_03 22:04

I have it in my notes. I'll pull them out later. But he one of his lines is don't talk about my mother like that. He's always like, say hello to your mother for me.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

That line delivery on like we gotta get more pills. It's so it was like I rewatched it like six times because I was like, he is doing something in this scene.

SPEAKER_03 22:28

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're making a choice to sound like that.

SPEAKER_01 22:30

It's the most acting I've ever seen him do.

SPEAKER_03 22:33

Um yeah, Juliet Lewis shows up out of nowhere and just offers to suck dick for $15.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

She's yeah, she's sucked, and then at the end, she's in a nice hat and a sweater because she somehow turned her life around.

SPEAKER_03 22:47

She got into the Epstein tunnel. That's the thing. She got to the tunnel inside Winky and Blinky.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

She blew it in with C4, and then she was like, I'm I'm over this.

SPEAKER_03 22:57

Yeah, I know what this is not comet ping pong, it's not going on in here.

SPEAKER_01 23:01

No, she she did she did the um what's the QAnon movie called? Loose Change. I don't know. No, it's not loose change. The one where the guy goes in and saves all the I'm doing air quotes, saves all the children from being trafficked. I don't know. Starring Jim Cavizel.

SPEAKER_03 23:16

I don't know, I didn't see it.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

But I'm kind of Song of Glory or something like that.

SPEAKER_03 23:21

We gotta watch that. They're making a um January 6th movie.

SPEAKER_01 23:24

Oh good.

SPEAKER_03 23:25

Yeah, with um Walpole Paul Hauser Thomas. Paul Walker Hauser. No, no, no. It's Paul Walter Hauser Bradley Cooper. Is it really? Yes. Yeah, he plays one of the officers. Jesus Christ. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:39

I was like so freaked out when they started making 9-11 movies so quick after it happened. And now this is just the world we live in.

SPEAKER_03 23:46

Yeah. Okay, so here are my notes for uh basketball diaries. Um it's like if a 90s PSA about drugs was way too long.

SPEAKER_02 23:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:57

Um it's the kind of movie that you would expect to find the DVD form in a thrift store very easily.

SPEAKER_01 24:05

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's probably a bunch of like, yeah, like parents who own this or like kids who thought it was so cool when they saw it, and then they grew up and they were like, Alright, I don't need to own the basketball diaries.

SPEAKER_03 24:19

Yeah, yeah. This was very important to me. Like when I was 15, I thought this was deep. Yeah. Like I paused the scene where he like went to the girl's house and like made made whoopie with her. You know, that was like a very like erotic scene to me when I was 15.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

Yeah, all the poetry is like really important. I read the basketball diaries and then I read the rest of this guy's stuff after.

SPEAKER_03 24:41

Um the book takes place in like the 60s, and they had to like push it into the 90s. That was like an artistic choice, which is kind of why everything seems like way too weird and fast, and there's like no black people in it.

SPEAKER_01 24:58

That makes a lot more sense. It does, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah, like getting kicked off the basketball team in the 60s is like way different.

SPEAKER_03 25:06

And also, basketball in the 60s, like they didn't have like three pointers. Like, you could have like as many people on the court as you want. If you watch basketball games from the 60s, it's just like 13 white guys just like making laps around a court and like doing like underhanded throws into like it doesn't look anything like basketball.

SPEAKER_01 25:26

Like what if they updated everything in the movie but kept basketball? They like were like the rules of basketball have to stay the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they just have an actual basket, like a wicker basket. Because there's like there's actually a plot point in the book that we we we we need the 60s rules of basketball to make make sense.

SPEAKER_03 25:45

Um I would have gone with that if I was the director 100%. And then like a coach just has like a giant, like must like a like a pencil thin mustache, and he's like, Oh, too many black men on the field.

SPEAKER_01 25:57

Um, I want to jump into that Michael Imperioli scene for a moment. Michael Imperioli is his friend, he has like leukemia or something, and he's he's pale and bald from the moment you see him until the moment he leaves, which is only like six minutes after he's in the movie. It's awesome.

SPEAKER_03 26:13

Yeah, they don't they don't use him a lot. Um, but he was probably so pissed off. He definitely auditioned for the main character.

SPEAKER_01 26:18

Oh, yeah. Uh he does a great job though.

SPEAKER_03 26:21

He's the best he's like kind of steals the the show a bit.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

Yeah, he does so little and it's really an impactful moment. Um, but there are there all those lines in that scene are kind of weird. Oh, like I can't even get a decent chubby anymore. Yeah, he goes, They're pumping so much shit into me. He's pulling out the the photos of the woman fucking the donkey. Yeah. Um and then he says, I beat your record. And Michael Imperioli kind of smiles and he goes, How many times you choke it? He's like, seven. And I was like, This is what they're talking about right now. They're fighting to see who can beat themselves off the most in a day.

SPEAKER_03 27:05

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I guess that's what you did in the 60s. I guess so. There was like one picture of Marilyn Monroe that like everyone had to share because there was like no hot women, like no, like the concept of like a woman in like a nude woman was just unheard of.

SPEAKER_01 27:24

Is that why circle jerks were probably more prominent in older generations? Is because you had to like share pornography. There wasn't so much personal 100%.

SPEAKER_03 27:32

And then honestly, probably the character or a guy with like the biggest imagination would kind of like lead you through it. Like it was like an ayahuasca ceremony.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

Now I'm thinking about like Socrates standing. Oh yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 27:46

And he's like, then the Behemothes rode in and took the women upon their stallions that you just have a circle of men, and they showed no quarter to the Sabine women, and they and they begot a new generation.

SPEAKER_03 28:04

And they're like, oh, oh, you're oh, and what happens then? That's actually the original Socratic method, they just couldn't keep it because like all the papyrus was covered in sploog. Yeah. So they were like, oh, this missing part is covered in the substance.

SPEAKER_01 28:19

Um yeah, and and truly they do go to kind of uh that same thing, that tradition, that Socratic tradition is carried on because Leo takes Michael and Perioli to a like um dancer booth where there's probably a bunch of other men in booths sitting around jerking off to this stripper.

SPEAKER_03 28:38

Wait, does that model still exist? We gotta bring that model back.

SPEAKER_01 28:41

Like the woman who's dancing.

SPEAKER_03 28:42

The woman in a tube?

SPEAKER_01 28:44

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:45

So it's like what is this like a panopticon? It's like it's like it's like one central tube.

SPEAKER_01 28:49

Yeah, it's like a glass room. Okay, and then surrounding it are like a bunch of little booths in a semicircle.

SPEAKER_03 28:56

In a semicircle, okay. And so you get like a private booth and you watch it. So is there like bad seats? Probably.

SPEAKER_01 29:04

Because I don't know. Yeah, if for it's a if a good performer, it's like acting on a thrust stage, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like you have to use your proscenium to its full effect. You want to maximize your angles, you want to do that kind of thing. A lot of three quarters, you know.

SPEAKER_03 29:19

She probably has to play to different areas, yeah. But I would just say, like, oh, you know, you're getting obstructed view tickets. Like your tickets are $31 plus tax, just because like you're you're not gonna get a lot of pussy. Right. You know what I mean? Just because like the way the thigh looks and the air, you're gonna get away. Mostly side boob, you can get a lot of ass, which I like. And some people are really gonna be into that, yeah. But anyway, so yeah, he goes there and they're watching.

SPEAKER_01 29:41

Honestly, as a business owner, you can just find ways to charge more for every seat. Obstructed view, that doesn't mean anything. This is for somebody with a couch fetish, you know? It's like you get to see the couch in its full glory.

SPEAKER_03 29:56

Yeah. Well, I guess they would they would find something very erotic about one of those like large suburban um furniture stores where like you go in and you like pick like at like a um uh what are those furnace? Bob's discount furniture is yeah, that's very erotic to them.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

I went to a Bob's discount uh in helping Anna move into her new place in Vegas, and uh we were looking for a mattress for her. She's never bought her own mattress. So she was very surprised to find out how much mattresses cost. Oh, yeah, yeah. Uh so most of my job that day was as a therapist, money therapist, just being like this is expensive. Yeah, but I kept having to say things like, Hey, you've paid $300 for a concert ticket, um, and that was for three hours. You're gonna spend, you know, hundreds of thousands of hours probably on this thing in the next six years.

SPEAKER_03 30:47

Yeah, but she's like, I've seen all these piss-covered mattresses on the side of the road for free.

SPEAKER_01 30:51

Yeah. And why can't I just pick one of those up? Because they're heavy and I would have to carry it.

SPEAKER_03 30:57

I hate that argument that you just made because my parents made that argument to me because they showed me their new bed. I visited them in Florida. I'm keeping track of this tangent, just so you know, so we can all we can go back. It's it's strip.

SPEAKER_01 31:08

Bob's discount furniture.

SPEAKER_03 31:09

But that started because of the cylindrical uh proscenium stripper. Yeah. Okay. So my parents were like, we got a new bed. And I'm like, oh, that's awesome. Like, like I see it. He's like, Yeah, it's got air conditioning. Uh, you can adjust the firmness for each side. It has memory settings. I was like, I'm just curious, like, how much does this cost? Like, ten thousand dollars. Okay, I was imagining like six to eight, ten is ten is ten's big. And then my dad said that he said, you know, imagine how much of your life you spend asleep. You know, you gotta you gotta spend it well. And I'm like, are you remembering your sleeps? Your body remembers. Oh my god. The body keeps the score. They say the body keeps the score, or else it gets the hose again.

SPEAKER_01 31:53

Um, but so we were in this bob's um and uh she was doing mattress stuff. I was helping, I was checking in, you know, all that stuff. Yeah, she was doing mattress stuff, wing wing. And then I went, Do you have this right now? And she was like, Yeah. And at every mattress store and at every furniture store we had visited that day, they had these massage chairs. Oh yeah. And they're not like recliners that have a massage function, they are like pods that you encase yourself in and they give you full body like pressure and massage.

SPEAKER_03 32:28

Is that the thing that's always in the Costco circular that's like eight thousand dollars? Probably always like, please buy this. Yeah. No one no one's getting this thing. Who gets that?

SPEAKER_01 32:38

I if I had tons of space, I would get it. It it was just the the best thing. Oh, you used it. Oh, because I was like, I've been like lugging furniture and like all this stuff for the last two days. Um, I'm probably gonna have to like build the bed and all this stuff tonight and get then get this mattress on there. Um we still have a lot of driving and like lugging stuff to do today. Yeah. While you pick out this mattress, I'm gonna go get a a chair massage. And I just sat in there for like 30 minutes.

SPEAKER_03 33:11

Okay, so my question though is like assuming that you got it, like, where do you put that thing in your house?

SPEAKER_01 33:16

Your garage, your your your play space.

SPEAKER_03 33:19

And that's just daddy's daddy's play space. Like, daddy's gotta go into his play zone.

SPEAKER_01 33:23

Yeah, so you watch a movie and you just get a full body massage while it happens.

SPEAKER_03 33:28

That actually sounds pretty cool. Yeah, it could definitely be in like a dude cave.

SPEAKER_01 33:32

They have these like um inflatable pillows on your calves, arms, and like neck area, and you can turn it on and it just like does like the blood pressure thing. It like inflates to a comfortable degree, and then it releases a bit, and then it just keeps kind of like applying pressure in that way. It's very fun.

SPEAKER_03 33:50

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And like the government can hack it so it like kills you by accident, and you like die in like a massage.

SPEAKER_01 33:57

Reading biometrics. Um, so yeah, Michael Imperioli sees a woman get naked for him, and he's very depressed, and he's like, Gimme the hell out.

SPEAKER_03 34:05

You see the light go out of his eyes. Yeah, yeah. He's like, This pussy does nothing for me.

SPEAKER_01 34:10

And then he's dead the next scene.

SPEAKER_03 34:12

Yeah, the pussy was so good it killed him.

SPEAKER_01 34:15

Um a lot of people talk about how depressing this movie is. I think it's a good time. I think it's fun, I think it's funny. A lot of people bring up the trench coat.

SPEAKER_03 34:23

The trench coat that that one that pushed me over the edge. When I was watching it on YouTube, it got deleted uh for some for some reason. It looks like Dylan Cleveland.

SPEAKER_01 34:35

It's a very controversial scene. It's a school shooting. I know those are a lot more common now than they were back when this movie came out.

SPEAKER_03 34:44

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:44

So think of even how like shocking it was then. Um relatively cavalier subject now, so let's joke about it. Um I forgot that he he went to a Catholic school. Yep. That makes it a little more understanding why he would do this for me.

SPEAKER_03 35:02

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he definitely takes his revenge on like the the the first off, that priest is like such in such a bad mood the whole movie. I think that's just priests. I know, but like what the fuck is wrong with you? And he and he rats him out in the basketball game and he like whips him with the paddle, yeah, and he's like, I enjoyed doing that.

SPEAKER_01 35:22

No, I think yeah, he takes it out on like the Catholic hierarchy before any students, and then the only students that he really guns down are like the ones that were like watching and enjoying it.

SPEAKER_03 35:33

Does he get the trench coat because it's a shotgun? Like, and he wants to like pull it out and look like Neo.

SPEAKER_01 35:39

I don't think at that point he wanted to look like Neo.

SPEAKER_03 35:42

Well, but why in the dream? I know it's a dream, but like why do you wear a trench coat to do a school shooting? I guess is my point. It doesn't just to hide the weapon.

SPEAKER_01 35:50

Yeah, to hide the weapon. And also just because you want to look badass on your way off this mortal coil.

SPEAKER_03 35:56

Yeah, yeah. But I would get I guess I would wear like fatigues. I would I guess I would like make camouflage that look like a bookshelf.

SPEAKER_01 36:03

Let's really discuss how you would go about your yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:06

I would I would make like a shirt that had like, you know, the book covers on it. It was like the wind in the willows and like little women. And then I would kind of hide. Oh, I see what you're saying. You know what I mean? Like like like urban camouflage. Right.

SPEAKER_01 36:20

You wanna, yeah, okay. You're hunting more than mass shooting.

SPEAKER_03 36:26

Yeah, exactly. No, it's not about spectacle for me, it's about efficiency. But anyway, when I saw him in that trench coat whip that shotgun out, I started fucking laughing. Like really, like a belly laugh.

SPEAKER_01 36:38

Yeah, it's crazy. This is also, once again, to say I think this school shooting is more justified than other school shootings. One because it's imaginary. And we've all done it. We've all imagined maybe a situation like that where you just take immediate violent revenge on the people that have wronged you in your life.

SPEAKER_03 36:57

Jordan's like reaching into his backpack right now.

SPEAKER_01 37:00

Yeah, um, but don't come to school tomorrow. This is also the scene almost directly after his basketball coach tries to rape him.

SPEAKER_03 37:10

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's cool with it. He's like, listen, Swifty, I'm not gonna tell him your dirty little secret.

SPEAKER_01 37:17

Oh, yeah. He he's I think him and Swifty have a special relationship to him.

SPEAKER_03 37:22

Swifty, like, honestly, I know we're not really pitching sequels on this episode, but Swifty makes off like a bandit in this movie. Like, he gets to keep all his wet, sweaty, jerking off boys.

SPEAKER_01 37:34

No one finds out he's a molester, and he's like whatever was left in Leo and Mark's lockers belongs to Swifty. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_04 37:43

The sequel should be Swifty becomes the new pope. Like he gets elected to the Vatican.

SPEAKER_01 37:51

That's I mean, that's it's a very Catholic movie. Swifty does make out like a bandit, I think.

SPEAKER_03 37:57

Yeah, also, Jordan, what is the music in this movie? Like, there's a song in the beginning where it's like Catholic boys just want to have fun. Catholic boys, they get shit done. Yeah. What is that? Did the they write it for the movie? Like, did the director write that song? I no, it's probably a song. Okay, I don't know. It was just very funny to me.

SPEAKER_01 38:19

Um I enjoyed some of the music choices in this movie. Like The Riders on the Storm is very funny.

SPEAKER_03 38:25

They play um um PJ Harvey when he's when he's having sex with the with the like prostitute. I'm doing air quotes as well. Um yeah, that was a weird choice as well. Um Riders on the Storm. When did the doors become associated with not doing drugs? Because like in like in every 90s movie, they would play a door song when people were tripping, yeah, and then that just went out the window.

SPEAKER_01 38:51

I think when people stopped uh putting the doors songs in movies. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:56

After the doors movie.

SPEAKER_01 38:58

I'm a I'm a I'm a doors hater for the most part.

SPEAKER_03 39:00

I think everyone is I d I gotta say, in terms of classic rock, they fell off, dude. Oh yeah. They could not keep up with your ACDC's.

SPEAKER_01 39:07

It's because it sounds bad. It's because the music for the most part sounds it's kind of the basketball diaries of music. It's like something that you were like, oh yeah, this means a lot.

SPEAKER_03 39:18

Well, it's yeah, it kind of is two things that don't really go together. It's like kind of like psychedelic, like the bird's music, but with like a crooner. Yeah. You know? So it's like Frank Sinatra singing over like the mamas and the papas or something. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 39:33

It just He was like a male model that did drugs and wrote trippy poetry, and it, you know, it like worked hard for a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 39:41

Yeah, oh definitely. And in a movie like this, where the main character also has is his little his little basketball versus his little basketball diary, bouncing.

SPEAKER_01 39:49

The other thing I'll say in defense of this school shooting is the other kids that weren't getting shot thought it was cool.

SPEAKER_03 39:55

Yeah, they were rooting him on. They're rooting him on because only the bad guys got shot.

SPEAKER_01 40:00

Yeah, it was the bad people that got shot, and that's okay.

SPEAKER_03 40:05

Then he woke up and he was like, that was a scary dream. Oh, I love it when he's taking the free throws, too. Okay, also there were no free throws in the 1960s, I guarantee you. He just like lobs it up and it's like on the side. Oh my god. Yeah, no, that was very funny.

SPEAKER_01 40:26

Um, right before that basketball game, the the writers on the storm scene, they're doing pills in the locker room, and it's kind of the breakup of the original friend group. And it's actually, I was watching it and I was like, the acting and the writing of this movie is actually pretty fucking sufficient for what it's doing. Uh-huh. And what it's doing is crazy. Um, but his friend, the one who goes straight. Neutron. Neutron and makes the all-American team.

SPEAKER_03 40:55

There's no way that that okay, that's the other thing. They they're not playing basketball in college, not even in the nine uh especially not in the 90s, okay?

SPEAKER_02 41:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:02

You're coming up with Alan Iverson. Like, it's uh that was like and Michael Jordan. It's like the most like physical, intense, like basketball era. Yeah. None of these kids are going to anywhere to play basketball. They're going to the YMCA.

SPEAKER_01 41:17

Yeah. Um, and and this kid is like, they're like strung out on their drug trip, and then they see on TV like their friend Neutron made all American. It's like on the TV, and they're like, is that Neutron? And it's like, it's only been three weeks.

SPEAKER_04 41:34

Um it is like that went out of America's summer.

SPEAKER_03 41:38

Well, he looks really good. They had to sell their like last gold cap to like buy the bit of smack that they needed after three weeks. Yeah, you they're fine. They would be so great after three weeks. They're like also 17.

SPEAKER_01 41:54

Um, but his friend Neutron in in the in the locker room says, It used to be about getting high and playing people. Now it's just about getting high. And then he's like starts to argue, and I was like, in so many other movies, this scene would be so elongated, and this fight would be so like Where where were you when fucking this thing happened? Blah blah blah. And as Leo starts to like start the argument, where he's like, No, no, no, I'm not high. I'm like, I'm fine, I'm fine. He goes, No, you're right. I'm really proud of you. Everything's cool, you look great. I'll see you in the NBA. Good luck. And he walks out, and I was like, What efficient fucking writing is like this kid doesn't even want he's like, No, you look great. You're doing great. I'll see you in the NBA. Oh, yeah, and then walks out.

SPEAKER_03 42:43

That kid understands the stakes of high school at this point. Like, I'm never gonna see you again, dude. I'm sorry. Like, I know we like grew up in a gutter uh and we were essentially like little chimney sweeps together for like 10 years, but uh I'm never gonna see you again in my life.

SPEAKER_01 42:55

Yeah, and if you're like gonna push away your best friend who's like trying to help you, fuck. Fine.

SPEAKER_03 43:00

I'm gonna I'm going to Georgetown next year. I'm on the same team as Alan Iverson. Like Wait, wait, hold on one second. Is that character the same one that takes him to the prostitutes? Isn't it Neutron that takes him to get Winky and Blinky? So this guy just discovers pussy, basically.

SPEAKER_01 43:17

He the this is the proto pussy posse.

SPEAKER_03 43:20

Yeah, but this guy is just like, okay, pussy, I don't I got basketball and pussy. I'm fine. Yeah. Like you guys enjoy your smack. Yeah, that makes total sense now. I'm this guy is a winner. Doesn't need drugs. This guy, I'm trying to think, like maybe like like Steve Nash or something. Just like a white guy that was in the NBA in that era that made his way. Um, yeah, that guy's fucking all star.

SPEAKER_01 43:43

You know how Dare is like winners don't do drugs? I think it more accurately is winners don't need drugs.

SPEAKER_03 43:50

Yeah, well winners get pussy and money.

SPEAKER_01 43:52

Yeah, and drugs for free, so they just do it like casually.

SPEAKER_03 43:56

Yeah, yeah, on weekends.

SPEAKER_01 43:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:57

But that's what he says. He's like, You think you're only gonna To do it on weekends, but then you do it on Tuesday and Wednesday. Do you think that RFK Jr. saw the basketball diaries and were like, I want to talk like that?

SPEAKER_01 44:13

Um, so uh I wrote down Rappaport in my notes. Okay. Is he in this movie? Because Yeah, he plays a skinhead who beats the shit out of him. Of course he is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:22

He's drawn to this movie like a moth to a flame.

SPEAKER_01 44:25

Yeah. Um, and there was a good argument between David Crumholtz and Rappapore that went public recently.

SPEAKER_03 44:31

Well, how did it go?

SPEAKER_01 44:32

Uh Rappaport was like, hey buddy, he sent him a DM on Instagram and it was like, Come to the screening of my new uh like documentary or something. Um and it was like it looked very lame. And then Crumholz was like, absolutely not, fuck you. Yeah, hell yeah, dude. That guy's awesome. And he just like laid into him, and uh he's like, You fucking bitch, you're and he's like, Come to Queens, I'll beat the shit out of you. And he's like, Queens hates you, fucking Rappaport.

SPEAKER_03 44:59

Yeah, although Queens is so big, like just come anywhere in Queens, I'll find you. Yeah, what is he a fucking missile?

SPEAKER_01 45:04

Um, and then all these people were like, Oh, wow, his friend invited him to a thing, and he responded really rudely. What a cool thing.

SPEAKER_03 45:12

I was like He was an asshole to him, right? On Traders? Uh yeah, I think so. Yeah, I watched it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:18

Also, Rappaport's just a fucking freak. Um, oh, the one the reason I bring it up too is because at one part Crumholtz goes, You could have been a real actor, man, and instead you chose the punk life or some shit.

SPEAKER_03 45:29

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:30

Because Rapapore, uh, yeah, he has some good roles.

SPEAKER_03 45:32

Yeah, what is it? Beautiful girls, that's a great movie. Uh Nally with Nally Portman.

SPEAKER_01 45:38

Leonardo DiCaprio refuses to suck dick or get his dick sucked through most of this movie by a man.

SPEAKER_03 45:45

Mm-mm. But um until one enchanted evening.

SPEAKER_01 45:49

One enchanted evening, but before that, um, there's the detox scene, that great detox scene, where Ernie Hudson basically kidnaps him, holds him a prisoner. Black snake moans.

SPEAKER_02 46:02

Yeah, black black snake moans.

SPEAKER_01 46:06

And then um and he makes him detox, and then he leaves him to just get swallowed up by the streets again. What is this? But at one point, he's like Leo's talking a whole bunch of shit to him. He's throwing him around the apartment. Yeah, great, great physical scene. Really, really fun to watch Ernie Hudson just like manhandle Leo.

SPEAKER_03 46:28

Oh, dude, that made me want to have a black dad. Can you imagine the discipline that I would have? Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_01 46:34

And at one point, like a dad, and maybe like a black dad too, Ernie Hudson starts to take off his belt to give him a whipping. Yeah, pick your switch. And he says, Leo's like, I'm not gonna suck your dick, man.

SPEAKER_00 46:51

He's like, don't want to shoot anything about suck your dick.

SPEAKER_01 46:54

He goes, he freaks out, he like grabs him, starts throttling him, and he says, Who the hell wants you to suck their dick, goddammit? Who the hell wants you to suck their dick, goddammit?

SPEAKER_03 47:06

And that is and isn't that such a moment from like Tropic Thunder? Like, I'll suck your dick! He just keeps saying it over and over.

SPEAKER_01 47:14

Um, it's a good way to get out of a bad situation, I've found. I say it at work a lot. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:19

The customers are like, my food's a little late. Yeah, yeah. My my food's taking 17 minutes.

SPEAKER_01 47:24

I'll suck your fucking dick. Suck your fucking dick. Um, who the hell wants you to suck their dick, goddammit.

SPEAKER_03 47:32

I do it at the grocery store when I don't bring my discount card, and the person checking me out has to scan theirs.

SPEAKER_01 47:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 47:39

Oh, your fucking yick.

SPEAKER_01 47:42

Um, do you remember Don't Be a Menace to South Central while drinking your juice in the hood? Yes. Um, when that guy's like, I suck your dick for a cheeseburger. Yeah. And then at the end, somebody's like, okay, yeah. And then after he sucks his dick, he gives him a cheeseburger. And it's like, he's like, if you let me suck your dick, I'll give you a cheeseburger, is what he was saying the whole time. Oh. Not buy me a cheeseburger and I'll suck your dick.

SPEAKER_03 48:11

Yeah, he was like, he was waiting to give someone this beautiful burger. That was so good. Um also the guy from Popeye, Jay Wellington Wimpy. Who's that? I'll suck your dick today for a cheeseburger tomorrow. Yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 48:29

Um I used to love that guy. And then he fucking stiffed me on some money.

SPEAKER_03 48:37

Well, that's pretty much who's running the economy. Now it's running the US economy.

SPEAKER_01 48:41

Well, we were talking to a guy just before we got here who was saying that, you know, you always want to be a good amount in debt. He was giving us good financial advice and rather than credit. Um, so keep yourself in a little bit of debt, everybody.

SPEAKER_03 48:54

Yeah, because it it it lights that fire. Yeah. Under that little capitalistic fire so that you can just keep expanding and getting fatter.

SPEAKER_01 49:02

So Shrimps is gonna be writing a sequel to the basketball diaries.

SPEAKER_03 49:06

Um it's not gonna mention heroin once, I guarantee it.

SPEAKER_01 49:09

No, I I think he's probably along the same line as you in thinking that it's like a love and basketball or you know exactly.

SPEAKER_03 49:18

A walk to remember.

SPEAKER_01 49:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:20

Um, yeah, because when I first saw Swifty, I was like, oh, this is gonna be the whimsical coach that like brings them together. But he's like, why don't you come in my office and pizza lead?

SPEAKER_01 49:31

Um, but he eventually ends up being the fever dream of a heroin trip while Leo is getting his dick sucked in a stall.

SPEAKER_03 49:39

I just also can't get over like how little trouble Swifty gets in in this whole arrangement.

SPEAKER_01 49:45

We've gotta protect our men.

SPEAKER_03 49:46

We've gotta protect our molesters, our precious child molesters. Yeah, but I do think that he rises to a very prominent position in the Staten Island Catholic community.

SPEAKER_01 50:01

All right, so yeah, let's just quickly, we've got uh we don't have any segments, and we still have about like five minutes left. Let's talk a little bit about um what we think knowing the movie sequels could be. So we have Swifty as the president or the Pope. Oh, the Pope, yeah. He goes right to the top. Um, is this like an investigation of the Catholic Church? Do we have maybe like a young priest writing a diary while they start like a basketball team on the diocese?

SPEAKER_03 50:29

I think it's the Vatican starts trying to bring back like 1960s basketball rules. Like they get rid of the three-pointer.

SPEAKER_02 50:36

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:36

Uh, and they make it just so it's like a bunch of white guys in converse and like really small shorts, just like running in circles. Um, and it's all so he can, you know, have his little boy his little boy Bacchanail. His little boy Bacchanal.

SPEAKER_01 50:52

These long shorts have are what's ruining the game. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I would love to see um maybe just like a a a soft kind of bucolic family drama, and it's Leo and it's Juliet Lewis, and they have like a home, uh a home for the recovered.

SPEAKER_03 51:17

Oh, they kind of get married and start like a uh a recovery house. Yes. Like a la, like the NM Matilda, where she moves in with Miss Honey. Yes. And like they she uses her powers for like making tea and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 51:28

Yeah, I think it's like a halfway home. Maybe that's the name of the movie, is like halfway home a basketball diary. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I saw that chapter from the basketball diaries.

SPEAKER_03 51:39

Yeah, yeah. And it's like you see the hand open the basketball diaries, and now it's like got like gold leaf. Yeah. And it like opens all the way to the end. It's like incursive.

SPEAKER_01 51:48

The diary is a notebook that's shaped like a basketball, you know. Oh my god, yes. Cool.

SPEAKER_03 51:54

Jordan, I saw the play Giant last with John Lithgow. With John Lithgow, yeah. It was um, it was very funny. Not it wasn't supposed to be funny, I think, because it was basically just roll doll was anti-Semitic, and I kind of didn't know it. So I went in and the whole play felt like to me, what is he gonna say next? So so I was like whispering stuff to Steph to try to escalate it and see if I would could get the dialogue, and I fucking did it. I actually did it. You nailed some of them, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Uh one of them was by the end, I was like, he's gonna say, like, you know, that Hitler guy wasn't didn't have all that bad idea. He literally said that. Like on the record, on the phone. And I looked it up, he said it in real life.

SPEAKER_01 52:37

Yeah, Roll Dahl, horrible anti-Semite, wrote some of my favorite books of all time. Gotta separate the art from the artist.

SPEAKER_03 52:46

That's the point, I think.

SPEAKER_01 52:47

Yeah. Um, it is, you know, I think the Twits was originally called the Jews. The Jews.

SPEAKER_03 52:53

Yeah. Well, he at one point he's like, Well, what do they think? They made me change the oompa loompas from pygmies. Yeah. Like that was some like slight against him. I think the point of the play was supposed to be like, you kind of need to separate anti-Semitism from like Zionism, I think is the point of the of the show. And Rolldoll, but just kept getting more and more anti-Semitic, and it kind of like that was the escalation. That was like the um the going into town scene from What Hot American Summer.

SPEAKER_01 53:22

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 53:23

Like, what's he gonna say next?

SPEAKER_01 53:25

How is John Lithgo?

SPEAKER_03 53:27

He was great, yeah. He was like a heel. Like, if he was like a um a WWE heel. Yeah. That's like the anti-Samite.

SPEAKER_01 53:35

Were you you said what was he gonna say next? Was it kind of like what is he gonna say next? But also kind of like, what is he gonna say next?

SPEAKER_03 53:42

To me, it was kind of like both, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and I think I laughed a lot in the audience when I shouldn't have been laughing. You know what I mean? Because like some people were like, oh, but in my head, I was like, this is escalating so much. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:57

I think I'm also that person because I I I felt a little bit like you.

SPEAKER_03 54:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:01

So there's there is a musical about these two guys and they like murdered a kid, and the musical is about them like planning their It's the producers for killing a kid. For killing a kid, and it's like not good, but at one point, um they're talking about like dissolving the Leopold and Loeb. Leopold and Loeb. Okay, okay. It's about Leopold and Loeb.

SPEAKER_03 54:23

Yeah, those guys were assholes. Yeah, they were I didn't know there was a musical about it, but like they were just like, We can we can fucking kill a kid and get away with it.

SPEAKER_01 54:30

Yeah, I'll show you. And um at one point during one of the songs, they're talking about like dissolving the kid's body in acid, and he holds up a vial, and one guy goes, That's a pretty small bottle of acid, and the other guy goes, Well, he's a pretty small kid. Cracks up. That well, that line is supposed to be funny. People, I've talked to people who are like in the show before, and they're like, No, that's not a joke. And I was like, It's a joke. That's a joke. Yeah, that's a joke. It's a hundred percent a joke. I was like, I think it's written with some sort of like cheeky kind of like mentality to it. Because they're like, how weird is it that we're writing a musical about Leopold and Loeb?

SPEAKER_03 55:10

Okay, so the and to k to go along with that, the thing about this movie, that this or this giant play is that the whole play, he's being really anti-Semitic to like their house guest, and then finally his like girlfriend is like, You need to apologize to her for being anti-Semitic and be nicer. And he's like, Okay, I will. And he does it, and then you kind of think it's over, and you're like, Okay, he learned his lesson. And then she leaves the room and a reporter calls, and he's like, Hey, it's Tim from the Guardian. Uh, can I get some new statements about your new book, The Witches? And he's like, Yeah, I don't like Jews at all. I think they're terrible. And it just like the timing of it was just so funny because he had just told everyone that he was gonna stop being anti-Semitic, and he's like, going on the record, and the guy's like, and he's like, Yeah, the stuff he was saying was just so grandpa anti-Semitism, you know, like they control everything, blah blah blah blah. And I was just laughing so hard. And then his wife comes back in and she's like, You've been so good. I made you Pavlova. And he's like, I love berries, you know, and it's like the end of the show.

SPEAKER_01 56:16

That's so good. Yeah, people don't people think that like serious shows are just supposed to be serious, but most things are funny, most things are funny. What do you think Shrimps is going to write?

SPEAKER_03 56:29

I think it's gonna be I think from because he's gonna look at the cover, and I think he's gonna think it takes place in a boarding school.

SPEAKER_01 56:35

Do you think he's even going to look at the cover?

SPEAKER_03 56:38

I don't know him that well. Yeah. But I mean, maybe, you know, in a board moment or something, he'll Google basketball diaries and he'll see Leonardo DiCaprio in like a suit with a basketball. Right. And he'll be like, okay, it takes place in a boarding school. A la um what is uh Carpe DM? Dead Poet Society. Dead Poet Society. I think he'll see that. I don't think it's about overprivileged kids in a a prep school that are trying to play basketball and be better at it, and then they bring in Coach Carter, who played by Samuel Jackson, who teaches them to be great, and then they play in like the regular leagues, and then they end up like becoming like winning the championship, but one of them dies. What do you think? Yeah, I feel like you know him a little bit better.

SPEAKER_01 57:19

No, I don't.

SPEAKER_03 57:19

Oh, okay, nobody knows about it.

SPEAKER_01 57:21

Um, I've chosen not to get to know him on any sort of actual like personal level. Uh, we mostly have like a shallow kind of transactional friendship.

SPEAKER_03 57:30

Like kind of like uh like like suck your dick relationship.

SPEAKER_01 57:34

Yeah, he provides me with heroin and pills, and I suck his dick. Finally, uh I had this thought, and I just kind of want to hear your musings on it. Absolutely. Basketball Diaries feels like a squeakels prequel that we would write to Wolf of Wall Street.

SPEAKER_03 57:54

Oh, okay. Yeah. Alright, so like that it's in the same timeline. Yeah, so this is Jordan Belfort.

SPEAKER_01 58:01

Yes, when he was a kid.

SPEAKER_03 58:03

Okay. Alright. Yeah, and he comes up with like penny stocks or something. Yeah, because he's like, he quits heroin and he's like, fuck, actually, my dopamine, I need some fucking high. Yeah. But he's like, I already got high off of heroin. I knew how stupid it was and how bad it made me feel in the long run. But you know what's not gonna make me feel stupid? Money. Making money, getting pussy.

SPEAKER_01 58:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 58:25

Oh yeah, and all the cut and cast a characteristic Jonah Hill can come back, is like that's Pedro.

SPEAKER_01 58:31

Yeah, this has been Squeakels. Thank you so much for joining us today. You can follow us on all socials at Squeak Pod. Um, you can email us if you have an idea for a squeakel. If you want to write a sequel to the basketball diaries and send it in, we'll take a look at it.

SPEAKER_03 58:48

Tell them what we'll do if they send us an email. We will read it.

SPEAKER_04 58:52

Suck your dick. Suck your dick.

SPEAKER_01 58:54

We'll read it. Um one of us will read it out loud while the other one is busy sucking your dick. Yeah, yeah, dude. So please send us an email because we'll suck your dick for an email.

SPEAKER_03 59:05

And Jordan, this has been such an honor to actually spend the first uh recording session in the wet boy room.

SPEAKER_01 59:10

Yeah, um, I I always think about bringing this up at the beginning and then I forget to because it's not really important. I will I like it though. This is a check-in on the progress I've made post Ana. We are sitting in a new studio space. It is a fresh psychic freak space. Do you feel good vibes in here?

SPEAKER_03 59:28

Actually, yeah, it's like psychically freaky.

SPEAKER_01 59:30

Hell yes, hell yes, hell yes. Um it's been a very good day, um, and it will continue. This space will grow, and I will grow, and Jude, our relationship will grow. And this podcast is just gonna get better and better. Of course. Uh, thank you all so much for joining us for the basketball diaries. Next week, Shrimps brings in his script, and we will see whatever he thought it was going to be. Alright. Any other thoughts? Bye. Bye.