How to Understand Your Period as a Biomarker

In another mother-daughter duo episode, Rajinder and Kavita discuss the foundation of women's health: the menstrual cycle. They cover the signals your cycle communicates — from what "normal" period pain actually looks like to what birth control does to your hormones. These insights reframe how women can live life with their cycle rather than in spite of it.

Rajinder and Kavita open up about their own struggles with cycle irregularities, including what they wish they had known about periods growing up.

They also reflect on what they would have done differently when it came to talking about periods at home and how moms and daughters can better support one another through every cycle transition.

It's the conversation your mom probably never had with you and the one you'll want to share with every woman in your life. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome back to the Dose of Pause. I'm Regenda Rye. I'm Kavita Rye. And today we're going to be talking about cycles. Super excited to get into this. I know it's a long overdue conversation, I would say.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Yeah. I mean, I think so often women do not understand how their cycles work. We only think about it in the context of our period and the pain associated with their period. So I'm really excited to pick your brain, not just as a Pharm D, but also as my mother, around all things periods, your stories around your reaction to my first period, your first period. We're going to dive into birth control and discuss the pros and cons of all things cycling.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Yeah, I think we've got a lot to talk about. So let's just dive right in. Sounds good. So when we think of our period, I think the first thing that most women think of is like, oh my gosh, I don't want to be on it. I can't wait till I'm done with it. And me being at the tail end of not having periods anymore, I it's it's definitely a different experience because I've learned how important our cycle really is for our overall health. And thinking that it's just those few days that you're, you know, on your period is it's way more than that. What would you think?

SPEAKER_00 1:22

I agree too. I mean, I have only started to now learn the four seasons of our cycle, which I would love for you to elaborate on, because I don't think a lot of women even understand that. But for me, I have had to learn, okay, I know I'm gonna start feeling not so great the week before my period. What are steps I can do to help with that feeling instead of trying to brute force? Cause again, so often all I'm thinking about is, oh, my period's gonna come. And I just want it, I want to get over. I want to get it over with.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

Yeah, I think a lot of times what we're thinking is let's just, you know, push through and I have things to do. But if we know our cycle, so really day one of your cycle is the first day that you have your period. And that really, you know, for most women, it could be three days, seven days. It it really just depends on you. But that's the time when you should really be resting because your hormones have really kind of depleted. And so your estrogen and progesterone are low during that time. That is why you're you're having your period because you your body didn't get pregnant. So it's now, you know, get getting rid of what was there in the uterus. And so then the week after that is your estrogen will start to rise. So usually day seven through 13. And that's usually when all of a sudden you have all this energy. And that's like your most, you know, you wanna you wanna really plan things, you want to do things. That's that's the time when you you can get things done on your checklist and be really active because now you have this surge of estrogen. And then then days 14 through 16 is when what is your ovulation window? So believe it or not, there's only a few days in the month that you can actually get pregnant. And so that is when progesterone starts to rise, and then you're going into the second phase of your cycle, which is like your luteal phase. And that's when, again, the body is preparing for you to get pregnant. And when that doesn't happen, the cycle repeats itself after day 28.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

That's crazy. Because you really forget, especially girls my age who are not looking to get pregnant right now, you don't realize that your body is wired for pregnancy like every 28 days or however long your cycle is.

SPEAKER_01 3:58

Yeah, I mean, I think the communication when we think of hormones is they're like communication messengers. So it's communication between the ovaries and your brain. So when your hormones are at a certain level, it's indicating that it's this phase in the cycle. So either release the egg or not release the egg based on that. So when we're thinking about that, we're, you know, we're operating every day the same way, but it's like you're you're either half empty or your or your tank is full. And you could be operating at full speed, but you're like on an empty. Yeah, then the hormones are fluctuating like.

SPEAKER_00 4:45

And you get upset at yourself without even fully understanding the picture.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

Yeah, that's why I think it's really important that women understand like what the average cycle is, and then but adapt it to their own bodies and and cycle. Cause, you know, there could be variances. There is no exact science to this. This is, you know, some women can have a short cycle of 21 days, it could go to 35 days. So it's not that if you're not exactly 28 days and and things are not hitting the same mark, it's that doesn't mean that you're off. But what's important to know is what is the pattern for you. So if you normally have a shorter period and next, you know, you skip your period, that should be something that you should be concerned with. If all of a sudden you have a heavier flow, then that's something to be concerned with. If you know you have certain symptoms that you didn't have, you know, which we'll, you know, talk about when we talk about getting on the pill, but from changes to your skin, your hair, your sleep, your energy, all of those are like byproducts of the ratio of your hormones that you're having at different times. And that's why that, you know, every single day could be a different level of hormones for women based on what else external, you know, factors like stress, environment, all of that can play into the levels of your hormone.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

Yeah. I also think picking up on how you feel during your entire cycle is actually something that has been difficult for me and I think would be for a lot of women, given that we are really raised to know that our period is going to hurt or at least feel very uncomfortable. And that's the only receptor we really know when it comes to understanding how we feel. I feel like I've had to really build an intuition on how I'm feeling because I will always push things off and think, oh, it doesn't really hurt that bad, or oh, this is how a period is supposed to feel. But that's not really the case, is it?

SPEAKER_01 6:57

No, I think again, it's back to the conditioning or, you know, how everything is portrayed. When we think of, you know, being on our period, it's like, oh my gosh, and flows here. You know, there's like a negative aspect to it that, you know, versus like this is communication that my body is sending me. Or, you know, it's it's it's actually almost like, you know, they call it almost like the fifth biomarker of women's health is your period, but we don't think of it that way. Like you said, if we're used to like, oh, you know, you're on your period, you're gonna feel tired, you're it's gonna hurt, or you're gonna have cramps, and you, you know, there are things to take care of that, but we're not really thinking of why are we even having it? And and, you know, is there something else that you we could do to understand and how to make sure that the hormones are not fluctuating as much to cause those problems?

SPEAKER_00 7:56

Yeah. So huge takeaway for me is my period is actually not supposed to hurt this much. Right. I would have to, I mean, that's one of the reasons why I had to go see an endocrinologist was because I was experiencing such severe period pain, as you remember, where I'd be in class and all of a sudden my vision would go blurry and I would have to leave the room, and my teacher would have to come check in on me, and then dad would have to come pick me up. Right. And I just could not, even with ibuprofen, it it was almost these like uncontrollable wave of feelings that I could not control. And I was trying so hard to push through. Right. And I'm curious, in addition to the pain that we feel, oftentimes there are also maybe even other cultural factors that come into shame with our period. Did you what was your experience like when you first got your period?

SPEAKER_01 8:57

Yeah, I think that, you know, when I I got my period a little bit early, you know, I was probably 11 or so. And so it it wasn't something that, you know, we didn't talk about it prior. And so it was kind of like, you know, I noticed something and then my mom just gave me, here you go, a pad. And that was the extent of the conversation. So I really didn't know anything. I didn't know that when was I gonna have the next period? Like, you know, is it gonna be in a month and two months or three months? I didn't know, you know, anything. You know, it was a learning curve. And so to be fairly honest, even with you, I don't think I did such a great job when you started your period. Because I, you know, regardless of me being a pharmacist and I talk about this to my patients all day long, it it, you know, to my daughter, like how do how do I talk about it? And and it was a surprise when you also started earlier, earlier than than I thought you would. And I think what happens, it it just takes you back like, what did I do that like you know, triggered you to start your period earlier? So somehow it always I bring it back to myself.

SPEAKER_00 10:14

Like, what did I I missed something that you're it didn't go to your plan. Right. It didn't go, you weren't supposed to start yet.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

Yeah, you weren't ready yet. I was not ready. So yeah. So I mean, you know, so that was like mine, where again it there was a little bit of shame because all of a sudden, I the freedom that I had, I was pretty much like a tomboy. And I I all of a sudden became like under radar. Like, where was I going? Who are you going with? Oh, wow. So it really changed because now, you know, it my family looked at me different. It wasn't that I was still, you know, that same kid anymore. All of a sudden, like you're on your period and there's more risk associated with that, I guess. But I think, you know, in your case, I don't think it was as dramatic, but I think there there was no conversation. And so I'm glad that we're having this. So I'd love to really, you know, hear from you to kind of what would what would have been better that, you know, to hear from me? Hmm, that's a good question.

SPEAKER_00 11:23

I think I, similar to you, did not know what was happening. At that point, you know, our middle school or no, it was our elementary school gives those like health information videos, which are super awkward. Yeah, but that was it. And I didn't know when I was gonna get it next. I actually waited to tell you two days. And then I think I remember you pulling me into the laundry room because you were doing my laundry and you saw I got my period. Right that, hey, you got your period. And I had no idea really what that even meant. I think having more daily check-ins each month, knowing that this was gonna happen again the next month and the month after that would have been helpful for me to understand what was actually happening. I don't think having like the even a high-level scientific view was necessary. I think at that time, I any girl going through their period for the first time just needs a little bit more tending.

SPEAKER_01 12:25

I agree. I think that now there are a few companies that have come out with even kits to make it, you know, just more pleasant. And it's and and even I think there's some books that really talk about how it's a celebration of womanhood of that next stage versus you know the shame that's associated with it or even the fear of it. So I think uh it there are better ways of communicating and having these conversations where it's not scary for the mom or daughter. And in fact, I've even had some dads. And you know, dad was pretty, you know, cool about you know being there for you because well, he knew it was also just something that was really painful for me.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

Right. And now that I think about it, the shame didn't come from family or culture, but it definitely did come from I internalized shame around getting it early, and there would be times where I wasn't prepared to get my period in class, and you bleed through your pants. Yeah. And what do you do? It's a really embarrassing moment, and it really is the first time at such a young age, a woman is taught to be shameful or feel shameful about a biological function that they can't control.

SPEAKER_01 13:46

I agree. I think you know, we've seen it. I it it still happens because you carry it regardless of what age you are, because you've kind of internalized that. And even to the point where sometimes I was using a separate bathroom when I would be on my it just became a part of the routine for me. But, you know, if we're if we're looking at it from the lens again that it is something that is natural and that it is, you know, it's it's part of being a woman in order to get pregnant. And when we don't want to get pregnant, you know, there are choices that we can make. And when we're not in sync with our body, it's a really big clue into what's happening to our body. Instead of just brushing it off, oh, I was so lucky I didn't get my period this month, or I, or, you know, I it was light this time, or it was heavy, whatever it may be, those are patterns that, you know, we all should recognize. And I think those are more of the conversations that as women, as mother-daughters, that, you know, that's something that we should be openly having. Like, I don't know, is this normal? Because, you know, this month happens to be endometriosis month. And it usually takes seven to ten years before a woman is diagnosed with endometriosis.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_01 15:10

Imagine having, you know, the probably how you felt with your heavy periods times 100 every month. And sometimes it's continuous, and then going or assuming that this is just part of being, you know, your your cycles that way. And it's that it would take that long. And some of it is that we don't know any better that this is like you said, it shouldn't be this painful. And I am, you know, glad that there are now more studies on women and there is more research to really find out, you know, what is happening versus, you know, just having women be kind of blown off.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

Yeah. The next thing I really want to talk about is birth control. Right. You mentioned how there are other tools out there to help correct imbalances. And we've talked about the pros and cons of birth control, but maybe if you could first provide context in how birth control affects our cycle.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

Right. So what what I mentioned before was that there's different phases in the month. So your estrogen progesterone fluctuates, all your hormones fluctuate. And when you're on birth control for the most part, you're going to have the same level of hormones throughout the month. And then the one week, which is they call the placebo week, is you're not getting any hormone. And so that's more of like a you have a bleed, but it's not actually a period. So what the body is thinking is it skips the ovulation. So we're trying to skip ovulation so that you don't get pregnant when you're on the pill. And so when you're not having the fluctuations, the body, there, there's no communication as to what phase you're in during the month. When I mentioned before, there's when you have certain levels of estrogen, that gives you your almost like that's your power week. And then when you're in your actual cycle, and you know, that's supposed to be rest. And then you have your creative where you're feeling more social when, you know, progesterone is high. So when you don't have these fluctuations, there's not a rhythm per se. And the, you know, there's the uses for the pill are, you know, are essential for women, you know, pregnancy prevention to help regulate the period, like if it's heavy, also for skin, some even for mood. Like, so there are a lot of uses for it. And so what I always recommend is that if you are gonna choose to be on the pill, you do want to know what your baseline is. And so you want to have time when you're having your cycle without the pill. So you understand what is your normal cycle and what does it actually feel like. I do see a lot of times younger girls getting prescribed, and it's usually because they have acne. And so then, you know, the it's helped it's to help regulate some of the androgenic effects that may be happening, and so, which is fine, but then there isn't any other conversation as to if you're on this, what are some of the other impacts to the rest of the body? You know, one key place is your gut health. And so when you're on the pill, it impacts your gut health, which means some of your micronutrients are depleted, your serotonin, nor epinephrine is also made in the gut. And so if that isn't there, I do sometimes notice that when someone is put on the birth control pill, then they may also have anxiety or even depression. And sometimes there is a correlation with that. And so understanding that there are some reasons that you have to be more mindful when you take it and pay attention to what your body is saying. So if if you didn't have these symptoms before you started, and now you do, that in itself is you know, a good clue that okay, something has changed because it is hormones. Although they're synthetic, they are taking over your natural cycle and creating a rhythm that isn't what it was before.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

Right. And I'm curious, what are things women who are on birth control, what are supplements or actions they can take to try to better regulate what birth control is affecting?

SPEAKER_01 20:03

Well, like lifestyle-wise, you do want to like sleep is really important to kind of monitor how your sleep is. And then the for like B vitamins are essential because those are the ones that do get depleted. So, like, you know, a B complex. Omegas are really good, the healthy fatty acid, fatty acids are important as well. Vitamin D is something that's usually, you know, even though you may get the sun, but a lot of us are sh are depleted in that as well. And the other thing is like, how are you feeling energy-wise? You know, there isn't the rhythm rhythm as it is with the natural cycle, but overall, you know, do you feel more on edge? Are you like tired all the time? Because there are different formulations of it, of the pill that you can take. So you have to find the one that's going to be right for you.

SPEAKER_00 21:02

I think what's so frustrating about this is, and as someone who has been on birth control before, and I'll get into my story around why and my experience, but it's frustrating because as a a young girl or a young woman, you get on birth control and you're starting to feel all of these feelings. And it may not just be because of the birth control, it may be you you had pre-existing anxiety or pre-existing depression, but it all gets kind of jumbled into one and you gaslight yourself that something is wrong with you. Right. And you don't know what the the problem is because there was really no need to take an inventory of your baseline beforehand. Or that's what no one really made that a priority. Right. And it's really hard to do that on your own until you feel really shitty. Like otherwise, you know, everything's going great. And so What I think going back to your question around what would you have wanted to know when I first started my period, in general, I think young girls should be taught about how their bodies are working and how not just how the bad feels, but also what the good feels or like what's supposed to be normal. Because otherwise, only you only know what your normal is. And if you've always felt like, for example, really bloated, or for example, a little always more on the anxious side, you're going to interpret that as your baseline. And it's going to be really confusing when you add in other external factors like birth control, and it's starting to affect how you feel and honestly, your own intuition with your body.

SPEAKER_01 22:57

So, like, I mean, I guess we should just go into your when you had to, or when you started your birth control, and I can share my story too, because if you if it ends up you're needing to start early, like I said, even for young girls when they have skin conditions and so forth, they don't have the baseline. And maybe they're not, there may not even be some lack of maturity to understand what the body is going through as well, too. Yeah. So it is very hard to say that, oh, first understand your body before you start. It each case is different. And so there is no like black and white or protocol. You it you have to do what's right for you. But I think whether you're a mother, you know, looking out for your daughter and what's the right choice for her, or you're a young woman making this decision, it is a conversation to have. And the questions need to be asked of like, you know, what should I expect? And what is this going to do? Is there, you know, what are what are some of some of the conversations we're having? Because even I would say until recently, even in the pharmacy, there wasn't conversation about if you take, if, you know, when I when patients come in, that if you're on this, also look out for these symptoms. And it's a good idea if you also, you know, add this, a probiotic or a B complex. I didn't, I didn't have those conversations. So I think because now we are focused on whole health, that these conversations are starting to come up, that, you know, certain medications or even, you know, things in our environment are impacting our hormones. And because those are getting impacted, we have so many changes that we really don't have control over. You know, that we don't know, like what was it that triggered this or that? You know, why are girls having their period earlier? You know, is it the, you know, overall anxiety? Is it all the toxins we have? Is it the water? I mean, there's so many different things that we, you know, we'd be going down a rabbit hole right now. But so let's, you know, kind of switch it to, you know, make it to your case of like when you had to, you know, when you like you already kind of explained that you your parents were uncomfortable and they were, you know, heavy, where you even had to miss school.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

Yeah, it was definitely period pain. But I think even before leading up to my, I think I was finally in high school, maybe 15 years old, when eventually saw an endocrinologist. But there were many years of feeling symptoms, period pain as the primary symptom. But I also had a lot of PCOS like symptoms that I was dealing with, and that didn't even get properly diagnosed or investigated at that age when I did see an endocrinologist.

SPEAKER_02 25:58

Right.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

I mean, in fact, that endocrinologist appointment, I think, was a 20-minute conversation where she prescribed me birth control and told me to avoid eating white bread. And I didn't have much context outside of that. And I really do think that because I was so focused on not feeling what I felt, that feeling of period pain and having to miss school because of just how dehabilitating it was was so stronger than any sort of long-term concern I had about birth control use. Because in all honesty, I didn't know much. I was 15. Right. I, you know, I may have had other friends on it for acne. I don't think I knew a lot of girls on it at the time for hormone balancing purposes. Right. And I just wanted a solution. I was very short-sighted about it because again, it was the first time where I was, oh, I had felt off for years. And there was also, you know, a lot of bloating that would happen, especially around my period time, other PCOS like symptoms. And I just wanted that quick, like a quick fix. And I didn't know any better, really.

SPEAKER_01 27:16

Yeah, I think when we were, you know, going and trying to figure this out, in the back of my mind as a mom, I'm apprehensive. Like, oh my gosh, my daughter's only 15 and she's gonna go on the pill. You know, there's a stigma with it. Like, what is that gonna mean? So it it there's a lot of other factors also playing in, you know, as a mom. And then I think what it was is you're absolutely right that there was really no solution given. It was like, here you go, and you know, we'll see you in six months and see how it goes and and almost like figure it out yourself. And I think when I when I was going in with you, regardless of me being a pharmacist, I was mom first. So it's I'm not gonna override what the doctor is, you know, in saying. But I think I do look back. If I knew what I know now, I would have handled it a lot differently. Because we do understand that, you know, it is a fluctuation of the hormones. You had too much estrogen. Even, you know, you mentioned that the the PCOS, it wasn't like you, you know, the name itself doesn't make sense, you know, polycystic ovary syndrome. I mean, it's that's you had it was you had high insulin, so you probably had insulin resistance, and you had a lot of estrogen, which means you had a lot of, you know, androgenic or testosterone. But even the appointment with the endocrinologist, she didn't mention any of that, you know, and so I think there is a little bit of a disservice that happens when women are going through these conditions, regardless of what age. I mean, it kind of flips me all the way to like my stage of like, you know, perimenopause and menopause, where your hormones are all over the place and you don't know if you're coming or going, and and you know, you're going out of your mind or you're forgetting your keys and you know, all of and everything in between. But it's it's you know, again, up until now, the conversations are happening. But prior to that, the women were just getting quick fixes for the symptoms that they were coming in for. So if you had anxiety, you got something for anxiety. If you're not sleeping, you got something for for that. If you know you're having, you know, weight issues or even bloating, they'll give you something for that. Right. So it really, again, I think kind of like my lens of being in healthcare for so long, I think that I would want women, regardless of age or stage, to really start feeling empowered to articulate what actually is happening in their body and and be more like a to share instead of feeling like they can't share all of the symptoms or or how bad they're feeling. Because, you know, when we go to the doctor's office, sometimes we aren't as, you know, we don't articulate how we're actually feeling. And and there's been studies of that between men and women. Men know how to say what actually is the problem, and then they get treated that way for it. And women will be like, well, I don't know, maybe, maybe I'm okay. I mean, because I see it in the pharmacy too. I'm I'm fine. And and what does fine actually mean, right?

SPEAKER_00 30:37

Yeah. Well, this is what I was also getting at when women have a completely different experience with pain, especially in our healthcare system than men do. And it starts with how we're taught about our periods. Right. But also then when we're put on birth control and you're talking about how our natural cycle and hormones are flatlined in a in a way, right? You also then just start to absorb that as your new normal. And oftentimes it's because you have to, but you just become very conditioned into believing that this is the new normal when maybe you actually could be feeling off. And maybe like that needs to be looked into.

SPEAKER_01 31:23

Right. And I think again, each case is different. So, like when I I was probably in my 20s and I got I had really bad cystic acne, probably PCOS back then too, but nobody knew. They thought, you know, it was like I was eating greasy food, and that's why I was getting acne. So, but I had to go on, I don't think they prescribe it as much now, but it was Accutane, which was is specifically for for cystic acne. And and in order to get a prescription for that, you had to go on birth control. So there was no, you couldn't do one without the other because of the severe potential for birth defects with taking Accutane. And so it wasn't something I was, you know, I wasn't married yet at the time, you know. So here I am needing to go get birth control pills.

SPEAKER_00 32:23

So it there was or you do you mention that because of the potential stigma like within your there was stigma because I'm going to the pharmacy where I know I, you know, they know my family.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

And so there was a little bit of stigma with that. Like, you know, although it makes sense because I am getting the prescription of Occutane, but in the back of my mind it was there that what are these people gonna think of me? You know, and so but it it was it was something I had to, you know, had to do at the time. And I don't think I thought anything else of it other than what are people gonna think if they find out I'm taking this.

SPEAKER_00 33:01

Wow. Yeah. That's crazy that that was the first thing. It shouldn't be stigmatized. There's nothing wrong, like birth control is a tool for so many women, right? It just is about making an informed decision and understanding what you need to do if you're on birth control to supplement a lot of the depleted nutrients that birth control causes. But there shouldn't be a stigma around it. And I also think, and I'm curious to hear your thoughts. It's easier for me to say this because I'm not a mother, but if I had a girl and she had to get on birth control earlier on, I would also explain what birth control is instead of her jumping to conclusions around is how maybe you felt, how you know, oh my goodness, like what are people going to think of me? Because it is normal. Right. And it's, you know, how our society functions, and yet it's this elephant in the room often.

SPEAKER_01 34:08

No, I agree. I think that it's again, the sooner that young girls understand their bodies and the whole rhythmic cycle. I think it's, you know, to think that I think that would also show them that there are periods where you're supposed to rest. And there are periods when you that's like you're you're full of energy and you have creative times and you have social times versus being the same every single day. That's just we don't we're not supposed to operate like that. And I think that's where a lot of the disconnect is as well, too, is that you know, we're we're on the same rhythm or pulse, you know, whatever you want to call it, the same beat every single day when you know we're not supposed to be. Definitely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:07

I also wanted to, you know, segue into the conversation around this concept of a biological clock. And I know a lot of my friends and I talk about this as 20-something year olds. And by no means are we ready to have any kids or even want that right now. But it's this like it can feel that a woman's ambitions or career, or just not even ambitions, just what a woman wants out of life can be running up against this biological clock. Curious to know like what even is our biological clock.

SPEAKER_01 35:58

You're born with so many eggs. And so then, you know, when you hit purity, you lose a lot of them. And then every month you're losing eggs when you have your period. So by the time, you know, as you're aging, you're losing them. And it's not just about how the number of eggs, it's also egg quality. And there are a lot of women that are choosing to freeze their eggs, but it is, it's not an easy process. It's also expensive, it's very expensive as well, too. So it is something that you know you have to think about because it's not like you go and and you can just freeze your eggs. You actually have to get injections of hormones to, you know, retrieve the eggs and so forth. So it's not, there isn't a simple, easy button when it comes to this. So it is, it's not nothing for women is. No, nothing for women is. So I don't think there's a right or wrong answer, but I the only thing I would say is that, you know, when you when you decide to wait, then you do have to be mindful that it can get harder later as as you're aging.

SPEAKER_00 37:05

So you had kids at 25 and 28? Yeah, more or less. Let's would you go back, like let's just say, hypothetically, would you, if you had the chance, would you go back and freeze your eggs? Would you have kids later?

SPEAKER_01 37:21

I it's hard for me to say. I kind of I do enjoy the fact that I had my kids earlier because now I am, you know, free to do what I want now. Because the other thing is that you, you know, the reality is if you do wait to have your kids later, you also are pushing into perimenopause, menopause as well, too. So, you know, that that's a whole different story in itself, but it there's a lot of pros and cons. Like you can do a lot of stuff before you have kids. You know, I didn't travel as much in the, you know, but now I can. Yeah, that is true. So it's I I don't think there's for me to go back because this is my life. I I I can't really say that I would want it any differently. But, you know, some some people don't have a choice of, you know, they're waiting to find a partner or waiting, you know, they're building their careers or whatever the case may be. I don't think that anyone is ever behind or too early. It's where you're supposed to be.

SPEAKER_00 38:25

I mean, I agree with that. I think that culturally what you faced is different than what I would face. Although I am curious to hear your not Farm D perspective, but more of your Rajendarante perspective on when's the right time to have kids.

SPEAKER_01 38:41

Oh my gosh. You're always trying to put me on the spot. Well, no, I I I will be, you know, I'm fairly, you know, honest, and I've been honest with you, and and and I think that's what I see is that I feel that I you can raise a family and build your empire at the same time.

SPEAKER_00 39:02

With a village, for sure. Well, yeah, I never know. And with the right partner. I think that the issue that I see in my age group is number one, you you know, build momentum in your career. But that's not even what I would say the main issue is. I would say a lot of the issue is finding a partner who you would be like, yeah, that could be the father of my children, you know?

unknown 39:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:24

That's what a lot of people feel versus I think your generation of arranged marriages and a few. I mean, what what can I say? Sometimes ignorance is bliss. This was a great conversation around understanding our cycle, everything from our first period to understanding how birth control can impact my age group of 20-somethings and your age group of women in their midlife, you know, having a conversation around understanding what women, no matter their age, should be asking themselves to understand their baseline, but then also being curious and brave enough to have those conversations with their provider or their loved ones first to make sure that there are other people included in their care plan is so important. I also think that when it comes to conversations about our biological clock, it's wonderful that I have a supportive mother who does know that there really is no right time other than when your intuition and gut tells you there is. Anything else you would like to add?

SPEAKER_01 40:39

I think that, you know, these conversations, you know, I'm glad we're having it now, a few years late, but I am more empowered to make sure that other women my age are feeling comfortable having the conversations with their daughters and granddaughters, nieces, because that's the only way it's going to change, is with one conversation at a time. Couldn't agree more. All right. Till next time.