S2 E3-Triggered: What Competition Really Reveals About Us

In this episode, Laura and Ali go deep (as always!) on what it really means to take radical responsibility, for your healing, your reactions, and your role as a healer or coach. They explore the uncomfortable feelings that come up when we see others doing similar work to us, why comparison and competition trigger us, and what that reveals about our own inner work still to do.

They also get beautifully raw about grief, how it shows up unexpectedly, why there's no timeline on it, and why allowing yourself to feel it fully is one of the most powerful healing tools available.

Key Takeaways

• Every healer needs a healer. Every coach needs a coach. Doing your own inner work isn't optional,  it's a duty of care to yourself and your clients.
• Comparison is a mirror. When someone else's success triggers you, it's pointing to something within you that still needs healing, not a reason to compete.
• There's not one pot of success. (Credit: Natasha Bray) Everyone has their own pot, abundance isn't a finite resource.
• Your ego is doing its job when it flags perceived threats. The key is to notice it, acknowledge it, and let it go quickly rather than spiralling.
• Radical Responsibility means taking full ownership of your choices, learning from every path, even when it didn't go the way you hoped, without blame or victim mindset.
• Grief has no timeline. Don't put one on it. Allow it to come when it's ready. Suppressing it only means it surfaces later, often in ways you don't expect.
• Crying is a healing tool. Tears release oxytocin, nature's pain relief. Holding back tears is literally telling your body not to send you what you need.
• Healers who haven't done their own deep work can still help people, but self-awareness of this is crucial. 

Books & Tools 

We are not paid for recommendations but love shouting out about the things we love, the people that have helped and what works for us.

• Natasha Bray's Heart Healing Cards — beautiful card deck used at the close of every episode. This episode's card: Radical Responsibility. Purchase here.
• The Signs Book by Dr Tara Swart —Purchase here.

People 

• Natasha Bray — creator of the Heart Healing Cards; quote referenced: "There's not one pot of success". Connect with her here.
• Victoria Dio — Healer and friend. Connect with her here.
• Dipti — Laura's grief counsellor. Connect with her here.

Connect & Promote

• Laura's sound baths & Heart Healing business — Book now.
• Wellness Toolbox - See more here.
• Ali has been nominated for Coach of the Year as part of the Eon Apprenticeship & Skills Awards — go Ali!

If you need support please use the links below;

Mind Charity UK
https://www.mind.org.uk/need-urgent-help/using-this-tool/

Samaritans UK
https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

Other support is available and if you would like to be signposted to other tools please email us at intwominds25@gmail.com and we will do our best to help.
Follow us at @intwomindsuk on social media

Follow us at @intwomindsuk on social media

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

We're back again. Episode three.

SPEAKER_00 0:02

I know, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:03

That's if we might decide this to be episode three. That's true, yeah. You're presuming. We're gonna have to now. Just said it.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Yeah, just make this episode three. So I think that a good topic, and you can pull your card, that's fine. What is it? Joy, may you pursue what lights you wear. Nice. I got that card the other day, actually. I might do a heart healing one before we go today. Oh I just found them, I couldn't find them, it was driving me mad. I couldn't bring them into my sound bass, which is like criminal on earth. So I was having to take my minology ones. Anyway, I wanted to talk about this because my knee's hurting a little bit. Yep. Being triggered by what we perceive maybe as competition or others popping up in our industry. But I have got a good moral to the story. I've had a moral to the story. I've got a very good something. Do you know what I came up with this all by myself? I'd I'll start the first bit. So I don't know why, but still, even though I'm doing really well with my sound baths and I know where I'm going, I feel I definitely have got a path and it's a lot clearer at the minute.

SPEAKER_00 1:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

My sound baths have gone a bit wild this month and next month and even into like March, which is so good.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

It's brilliant.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

But when I see somebody, and it's not everyone, so there's obviously something that I need to dig a little deeper on here, and I wanted to give an example of how healers and people within these wellness spaces still need to do the work on themselves and still need to like reflect. But whenever somebody pops up in the wellness space doing something similar to me, or a new sound bath, or someone's going to train to be a sound bath, I'm like, oh, oh, or then like a post comes up on Facebook, and automatically I stopped. I'm not, I mean, I pulled myself straight back and realised what I was doing, but I went to all the people that had tagged other sound bath people, and I was like, Who are these? But then so many people tagged me. There was so much love for me on that post in this community post, and I thought, oh, that's so lovely. But it just made me really really reflect, and I wrote it down in my journal this week. What is it that triggers you and why do we get triggered by seeing other people do well? It's almost like our ego comes to the forefront. Of course it does, and we we get a bit like defensive.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

It's part of our survival, and we need to stop beating ourselves up for it. But I don't want that feeling, I just want to feel joy. Yeah, but sometimes it's gonna come up, and then very quickly you go become self-aware of it, and then it goes. Yeah, your brain's actually doing its job. Oh, is this a threat to me? Oh, actually, no, it's not goodbye. Yeah, what you don't do is go, oh, is this a threat to me? Oh, it's a threat to me, it's such a threat to me. I'm gonna my business is gonna fail, right? That's it. I'm now gonna go keyboard warrior, like thinking extreme, and tell people that, oh, you don't want to go to a sandbath in that village because this village is nicer, and which some people do. Yeah. I think what you've done is is quite a normal reaction. And being a Reiki therapist, I have got to say now I I have had that feeling, I don't have it anymore at all. What stop that then?

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Because that's where I need to get to.

SPEAKER_02 3:16

I don't know if I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

Do you think it's success?

SPEAKER_02 3:22

I don't know. Because someone said to me, as a Reiki master teacher, why do you train Reiki practitioners in your area? Because aren't you just training competition? And I went, oh, never really thought of that. And I guess actually, yes, I am. But for me, it's fab to have more and more Reiki practitioners. The more Reiki practitioners there are, the more people are gonna know about Reiki, more people are gonna have Reiki, which means more people are gonna talk about it, and they're gonna talk about the benefits of it, which means more people, and that to me is like that's that's my purpose, though. That's part of being the healing, doing the healing work and being a healer. Like, I want more people to have Reiki, and I can't heal everybody. And I mean that if that sounds wrong, I can't heal everyone. That comes back to the whole the fact that healers are facilitators, yeah, people heal themselves, but I I see it as such a good thing, however, I'll be honest with you, Nikki, who's my very first practitioner that's become CNHC certified, lives down the road from me. She does aroma Reiki, and I go to her because it's brilliant, and actually, there's a little part of me who was like, Oh my god, she's better than me. And I do think she is in a lot of ways better than me at what she does because the way she's combined aromatherapy and Reiki is just beautiful. But I did have that twinge that ooh, and then I went, Oh, release that, let that go. And literally, it was that's when I say that's how quick it was, yeah, that's how quick it was. And yours sounds quite similar, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:54

I don't it I do release it, however, sometimes some of the same ones come up, and I think, why is that same one coming up? Because there's obviously something here I need to do. But what's interesting is you can write down or you can say your advice to people like, yeah, but everybody's different, like no one will do it the same, you're unique, you've got your own unique way of doing it, and also I remember Natasha Bray saying, which really resonates with me, and it does in this instance. There's not one pot of success here, and we're all trying to grab a piece. You've all got your own pot of success and money that we can get and obtain, and it's and that's just ours. Yeah, there doesn't need to be this, like but even with me saying these things to myself, I still get the so it just shows that healing is so key because you'll still get those little things. You can tell yourself, I'm amazing, I'm beautiful, I'm pretty. If you don't do the healing work on why exactly you don't feel good enough or pretty, or then you're not gonna know. So that's why I just want to do a bit more digging on myself just to understand what that's triggering for me.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

So with moon circles, so I've decided to take a break from moon circles for three months, and part of my fear of doing that is what if my beautiful circle go, because they love their moon circle, go and get moon circles with other people, and and people jump on the fact that I'm not doing moon circles anymore, and so they'll they'll approach my clients for those moon circles. And then I thought again it came to me and it was a bit of a oh, and then I thought, well, come back to why, why, why, why, why, why? And one of my whys for giving up the moon circles just for a little while is because I need to step back, spend a bit more time with the kids, have a bit more consistency and routine with them right now, and with the moon circles, it's really like you can't have a moon circle on the same day each month because the moon cycle doesn't quite work that way. So, you know, this is about my kids, and actually, if my clients do want to go and work with other, then that's what's right for them. I can't be working with the moon and having trust with the moon and practicing and preaching work with the moon and then going, don't go to anybody else's moon circle, because that means everything I practice and preach is bullshit.

SPEAKER_01 7:08

Yeah, you know what? I think it is a battle of your head and your heart. Absolutely. I think my heart, so my heart, this is what my heart does, on that post that I said in the in the thing, I tagged another sound bath that I knew was happening the day after to say I think that they've got two spaces left. I've not been to one myself, but it's a beautiful space and they're doing some amazing things. These are my sound baths. I wrote it in another comment. That's my heart. My heart is the person that does these sound baths asked if she could come to mine. I was like, of course. I opened up a space for her, and I thought, how lovely that she feels that she was trusting in me to give her that back. Yeah, because we often don't heal ourselves as healers and as light workers, like we sometimes call them. We don't often do the coaching ourselves, and so this is me, I suppose, in this episode showing up to say there's still things I need to work on, there's still things that are going to come up for me that have maybe I thought I'd even dealt with, but it comes back to like that enoughness wound, I think, for me, within heart healing, and maybe just feeling like I'm not enough and that I'm not good enough at this, and like that imposter syndrome of well, actually, maybe her sound baths are better than mine, and it's like they're different, they can't be better, yeah, they're just different.

SPEAKER_02 8:21

So I love your sound baths because they're really subtle and they're just really gentle. I've been to sound baths before, a couple, and I felt like oh, I feel like I'm on drugs, and I don't want that feeling, it doesn't make me feel good. And you could say, someone will say somewhere, oh well, it's the ones where you feel like you're on drugs and you're being heightened that are bringing out what you need to bring out, and that they're the ones that you should do. But I don't want to feel like that, I'd rather feel chill and use sandbaths for relaxation. If I want to get to that heightened state and get my trauma out, I'll do breath work. I don't want that, don't all these crazy sounds in my ears. Don't tell me what I need. But it's specific to you, I suppose. And what you need and what you're doing is that you're not gonna be able to drawn and connected to the people we're drawn and connected to. Every healer needs a healer, yeah. Every coach needs a coach, every light worker needs a light worker, every parent needs a fellow parent, every child needs a fellow child. We all need connection with people that resonate with us and understand us, and especially people that work in healing and well-being. When I had my breakdown, I'll never forget my therapist, my psycho psychotherapist saying to me, You this is really common. I have so many people that work in your industry sitting in that chair because um you've got your own wounds to heal, but you take on so many other people's as well, yeah, and a lot of people do that before they've dealt with their own. So a lot of change makers are you know people that are running businesses to help other people, they've done it because off their own experience, they might have had breakdown, they might have gone through domestic violence there, but a lot of them haven't necessarily gone and really got to the root and done the really deep healing, and that's actually okay, that's quite normal. We don't all jump into you know cold water baths and do the breath work and go to therapy and everything. We just go, This has happened in my life, I've dealt with it, I've come through it now. I want to help you. We've not necessarily gone and done the deep work, and some people never will, and that's also okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

It's just being conscious of it, isn't it? Because that's I think I do think it's important as somebody that does that to be able to heal yourself and to be able to go through your own work. And actually, I'd say it's one of the most important things. So you talk about CPD, you know, stuff to go on to your CV and things to do for your development, your own healing should be at the top of that priority list.

SPEAKER_02 10:34

Absolutely. So I've just nominated, so I've been nominated this week, have I told you? Oh, coach of the year. Oh as part of Eon, as part of their apprenticeship and skills awards. Nice, um that they do, I've got the awards ceremony a couple of weeks. Anyway, I've also nominated though one of my coaches, and the reason I'm nominated is she's an apprenticeship, as am I, I'm going through the apprenticeship as well. So she I've nominated her for the apprenticeship of the apprenticeship because not only is she doing the apprenticeship to become a coach, she has is now my coachy because she recognises to be a good coach, she needs a coach and she needs to do the work herself. She's also what she was doing before she met me, she's chosen to do Reiki. She's doing other stuff to heal and grow as a person to make her show it better, not just as a mum or in the workplace, but as a coach as well. And to me, that should be recognised as a she's gone above and beyond what you know you would expect.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

And I think, yeah, that's you have a moral, is it a moral obligation? I feel like you have a moral to look after yourself, yeah, but to your clients like as well. I think that that's so important. I honestly think that the reason I mean I I say that as if sound healing hearts have been going for ages, it hasn't. It's 2023. I started doing the sound healing qualification, I never really knew what was coming of that. But I honestly think that the reason it's like just gone slowly and I've I've been taking my time with it is because I don't think I'd have had the confidence before that to have pushed it. I now have the confidence to be hosting sound bass for like 18 people at a time, and that's that's lovely, and to be selling out as well. But I just feel like there's a new energy to this year, right? Oh, there's something, something different. I heard you on your voice note earlier, and I've been saying this in my sound bass for the last few weeks. We're not into the go go go yet, we're into the shedding, we're still in the shedding.

SPEAKER_02 12:28

We're still in the snake, year of the snake, our Chinese new year. Is it the 11th? 17th. I said the 17th yesterday, and my client went, no, it's the 11th, and I'm like, No, I'm sure it's it's the year of the horse. Yeah, fire horse only comes around every 60 years, and we're gonna shh literally blaze and through. And but then what does that actually mean to people? And I think for a lot of people they're thinking, right, that's it, I've been working really hard in my business, and then this year I'm gonna become a millionaire. Yeah, yeah. It might actually not be financially, it might just be through your wisdom, your healing, but things like you know, just your awakening, you're just gonna be just open to manifesting amazing things.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

When I think of a fire horse, I think of power. Yeah. So it might be step into your power, your power might be just realizing what that is, exactly, mightn't it? But I think they said like 2025 was definitely a year of like shedding things that you don't need, you don't want anymore, learning things that you needed to learn before this year coming up. Absolutely. I definitely think that 2026 just feels different. But the the line that I'm gonna go with from all of this that I've just talked about is thank God there are other sound healers, thank God there are these wellness places opening up because they're helping to awaken the world, and the more people that are awakened, the more open they are to working with me, to being, you know, as we've talked about in previous episodes, to not focus on the toxicity that there's often going on in the world, but actually to go inwards. So if there's more people like me showing up and helping, like you were saying with the Reiki, then it's helping me. So that's what I'm thinking about.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

5% of the planet of the earth's population will awaken, apparently, or go on any kind of healing journey and actually really get to the root. Now, I will say I like to think I'm one of those five percent. I don't even know if I'm one of those five percent. How will I ever know? I don't know, because I might do the work. It doesn't mean I'll be completely completely awakened. Who knows? I you don't know what could happen in my life next year or this year, and I go, Oh, do you know what? I'm I'm stopping now. I'm done, I'm I'm done with working on myself. I'm just gonna accept myself for who I am right here, right now, and I don't care how toxic that is. I can't see that happening. I can't see it happening for anyone because I'm just fascinated. I mean, I do think it's driven by ADH traits, but I'm interested in learning about that and trying that and exploring that and understanding that and getting to know me and understand how I tick and why I tick. But my healing journey, last episode, I cried, you know, when we talked about I thought about not feeling seen and heard as a seven, eight-year-old because of Eloise. That to me is like, oh, there's still something there, there's something really there, but will I ever hear that? Is that a wound, or is that just reality? Is that just me being part of me and being that's you being present with your emotion? And owning it, and so do I need to go? I remember thinking whilst I had that conversation, I was like, oh god, do I have to go and work on this now? Yeah, like that literally comes into my head, like, no, I don't. That's just the raw and real, and that's that's the emotions of being a mum. Yeah, a piece of your heart running around this. This is real, this is absolutely real. And what was interesting as well, um, I've been reading something around emotions and people that are deemed sensitive, people that cry a lot, people that in the moment they can't hold back, which is me, actually is apparently a sign of emotional maturity and emotional awareness. But you look at people like that and go, oh, they're so dramatic, they're so over the top, quite everything. It means you allow your brain to process in its time and in its moment, which actually I do now do. I don't hold up my anger, I don't hold in this, I say it as it is within, if not at the time within a few days. That's a sign of I I that's good for my brain, that's good brain health. It's interesting because good for brain health.

SPEAKER_01 16:20

I should I said to myself for many many years, well, I'm not a crier, I'm just that's just not how it is. And then I was saying to Dipty, the my grief counsellor, when I started, you know, I've told myself I'm not a crier, but perhaps I do need to cry more. And she says, says her. And I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, Maybe you just don't release emotions like that. Maybe you're not a cry. And I just think it's so true. It's not about now people listening to this going, Oh man, I don't cry enough. Or you know, it's about going, well, actually, what helps me? I have been emotional this week, and I definitely think it's been a build-up of like a few days, maybe even a few weeks, and I can just sense it and I know it's got to come out. What's great now is that I know it's got to come out, and I'll I'll just find a way to do it. So I went in the bath last night and did it on the way home from work last night. I did it, you know. So I just recognise that within myself, but I'm not an aut you know me, I don't automatically cry, I don't know why. It's just how it is. That again, and you don't judge yourself on that either. But what I will say people will though, and that's what I don't want people to do.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

When I did a talk earlier this week at the I'm gonna give her another shout out at Angie's Cogs event, I decided to mix it up again because I went back to basics because it was a brand new audience, and I was like, I'm not gonna go in straight talking about the moon, although I've been invited back to talk about the moon. That's good, but I decided to go with my basic talk, the talk I haven't done for ages, in in its simplicity, around my wellness toolbox, top tools, blah blah blah. But I thought I'm gonna introduce not three new power tools, but three that I don't necessarily group together or talk about in the way that I do because normally I tend to talk quite a lot around and the power tools. I'll always do gratitude actually, but I tend to do affirmations and I might talk about rake and stuff like that. But I came up with the three G's, and the three G's were can you guess them? The first one grieving.

SPEAKER_01 18:14

Oh, only you would do that. Well, get it straight away, yeah. Yeah, but I don't know what the others are. Grounding. Wait, let me think. Grieving, grounding, and gratitude.

unknown 18:24

Nice.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

So the first one I did. So you didn't give me enough time for grounding.

SPEAKER_02 18:27

So I did uh first one did grounding, which allows me to then bring in talking about crystals, but then I talked about gratitude, which makes me talk about how you can rewire your brain, it's the best antidepressive, depressed, depressive you can get, and there's some science behind that. And then the third one, which I've never ever done or talked about as a tool, and I haven't got it written in any of my books, but it is a tool in itself is grieving and actually allowing yourself to grieve. And I spoke about crying because crying again grinds in in there is a tool, but crying release is oxytocin, and oxytocin is nature's paracetamol. So when you bump your toe and you want to cry, but you don't because you're a grown adult and you think it's ridiculous to cry with a stubbed toe. What you're actually doing is telling your brain, please don't really please don't release the pain relief that you want to give me. We've trained our bodies to stop sending its natural healing to us by actually holding back our tears. So last night, when you needed to process while having a really good cry, you've actually not only had a good cry and released and processed in that way and got that pain and hurt out of your body, you've also released a shitload of oxytocin, which is what gets released when we're in labour, by the way. That's what the natural pain really, not that it's I say pain reliever, it doesn't really relieve that much, but anyway, that's another podcast for another day. What you've done is you've released oxytocin into your body, which is going to have actually helped process the pain and take that physical feeling of pain away.

SPEAKER_01 20:05

I when I was doing this, I've talked about in another episode, this uh scrapbook of all my dad's stuff. Yeah, I had a massive cry because it just felt so much pain for like me as a younger child, but also just because I in the letter I'd just kept saying how much I missed him, and then that obviously brought up like feelings of missing him now, and I just thought, God, like I feel like it's a similar it was a similar pain, and so yeah, I knew I just had to let that go, and it was a very therapeutic thing to be doing, and one I've been putting off for a long time, you know, it's been three three years in my long time, and the other thing I said the other night is do not put a timeline on your grief.

SPEAKER_02 20:47

Yeah, it's true. All I want you to do is grieve, yeah. Don't put a timeline on it, just don't think it stops. Don't stop yourself from grieving so it comes out in six or seven years later, and you don't know why you're hitting rock bottom or you're having a breakdown. Start it now. Start it, let it start, just allow yourself to grieve. Don't try and be brave. No, exactly. Holding it in is not being brave, but you started to grieve from the moment you found out about your dad. And three years down the line, you're now ready to do some of the release work, yeah. Which is not release, is it just because you're grieving doesn't mean you're releasing, you still held held a lot of pain in, yeah, and now you're ready to process it in a different way.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

It's beautiful, it is, and I think it's like trying to find ways that you can do that, and also being able to hold space for the kids to do that, because yeah, I've not I've not been able to do that, but it's like you said, there's no timeline on it. You grieve like for the rest I feel like you grieve for the rest of your life. You're gonna grieve the loss of somebody for the re like literally the rest of your life, and it can feel like it was yesterday, and you can cry like it was it happened yesterday. But I think this like acting That I was doing with the book was and it's all over my dining table, I haven't finished it yet. Was therapeutic. I think I probably needed to cry because I'm not a cry I'm not a crier. I and I probably needed that to be able to do that, to read the letters to trigger that in me because I don't know whether it would have come naturally to me because they were real tears. That was real release.

SPEAKER_02 22:19

Victoria Dio. Is it Victoria Dio? So she's a healer. Yeah. I had some I went and had some healing with her at the big festing last was it like well, was it last year? Yeah, would have been March last year. And I had tears and I was feeling really emotional, and she said, Finally, we have real tears. And she said, You sometimes cry because you think you should need to cry. You need to let the real tears come now. And I remember thinking, What? I don't fake cry, and that isn't what she was saying. But I am a crier, I am a crier, I cry everything. But actually, what she meant is like real tears, the ones you can't control, the ones you can't stop, you've got to just let them come. And I feel that that's what you're having. You're having those real tears, that real release, that real pain and hurt coming out.

SPEAKER_01 23:08

I agree. I think one of the things to talk about grief was when I used to hear people say I think about you every day when people lose people. I thought, you don't know. But you don't, but you can't do because you've got other things on. You do, you do, you literally do. Like it's so funny that I thought that. How could I think anything else? But it's so true. But I suppose you just assume that you're gonna get busy, but there's always gonna be a moment. Yeah, like I will guarantee you there is not one day since he died in three years that I've not thought about him. So, really, if you think about that, that's an awful lot of thinking about somebody that's died. So, just that in itself, I suppose, is like you're grieving, yeah, you know. So, yeah, I I I think it is important to say it is.

SPEAKER_02 23:55

It's funny how grief hitches sometimes as well, because when I found out that I've been uh it was it was good news when I've been nominated for an award, I burst into tears and my immediate thought was Nana and Grandi. Because you wanted to tell them. And I was like, Why am I crying? Yeah, and it was like I f I don't know where I felt of Nano and Grandi, and it was like I just know that they're with me. All this good stuff's happening, and I know it's good stuff happening because I've been putting the work in, but I just know that they've I know they've got my back, I know they're with me, I know they're watching me, I know they're supporting me, I know they're championing me. And I it but there's a sadness with it.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

Yeah, I think that's a lovely way of thinking about it though, because I think it's in that science book by Tara, What's her name? Can't think of a surname. Tara What's the name? By the way, most people that we talk about, they're surnames, what's the name, they're a lovely family. The what's the name family. I'm sure that in that book she says, I'm still going through it now on audio. I'm sure in that book she says, if you cry, it's usually because they're with you. So it's just made me think whilst we're listening talking about this. No bloody wonder I think about him every day because he's with me every single day. Always like no wonder, and no wonder sometimes I think I might feel more emotional or you know, it's because he's with me. Of course he was with me looking at that book, it was all of his stuff. Like I was literally getting all this stuff out of this box that he kept like things in, and I just think, God, I want to honour all of that because I just think he's kept all these things for a reason. So it may in the book look a bit random, but that was his memories, that's what he wanted to keep hold of, and I just think it's lovely to be able to share that. So I was gonna write a bit at the front saying, like, dear dad, this is like your memory book, and I wanted other people to be able to look at what was important to you. So he's kept like pictures of I've drawn pictures of him. It was really funny actually. He I've drawn a picture of him at football because I used to go and watch him play football, yeah. And one of the players has got the biggest nose, and we were all laughing about it when um I was showing the kids, and he's kept this he's kept this school photo of me, and I'm oh my god, it's so embarrassing, it's like this. Oh, I can't know people can't see it. Just so people can't see that are listening, uh cartoon sticking out, it's quite a grimace. Yeah, I'll show you when we go in. And then there was another one where I'd created, I was about seven or eight, I'd created cartoon characters. One was called Charlie, one was called Fatso. Not the nicest way to describe a character, but one was called Charlie and one was some other funny princesses. Oh, he was there. Isn't that funny? Yeah, isn't that funny? So it's just lovely because like I wouldn't have thought that he'd have kept some pictures, like, and why did he keep those pictures? And one of the pictures of him with the football team he had framed, so I just think that's lovely to think that those things were sentimental to me.

SPEAKER_02 26:38

And isn't it funny though that you didn't know at the time? And there was you hurting, thinking Daddy didn't care or daddy'd run away. Yeah, but daddy was hurting in his own way and doing what he thought was right and escaping in the ways that he needed to escape. Yeah, this is the thing about coming back to compassion, and even your parents they get it wrong, but it's not because they want to hurt you, it's just that that's just the way that they're dealing with things and the choices they're making at the time. We're coming back to compassion, but that was episode two. I know I know that's something. I'm sorry, but everything that we talk about through life, loss and laughter, yeah, but it ultimately comes back to be self-awareness and compassion. Be Sarah, self-awareness and compassionate for yourself, yeah, and be self-aware and compassionate for others. And I think they are the two greatest tools in your toolbox.

SPEAKER_01 27:24

The one of the like the one of the biggest things I think I could have healed was the relationship with my dad, but and I thought I had until he died, but I hadn't. Yeah, but you've done that. I I carried on that journey afterwards and have done so much more healing on that. Because I think it's it's a little bit triggering to heal something that's no longer there, and you almost feel this guilt, don't you? Like, of like what what I don't want to say bad things about them because they're not here and they're not, and they're actually pure now, and they've got none of their their issues. They're like, you know, that's gone, but it's still really important because it's still coming up for you.

SPEAKER_02 27:58

And it's like, don't they say don't speak ill of the dead? Actually, it's it's not about speaking ill of the dead, it's speaking about the things that hurt you so you can release them and let them go and move forward with people.

SPEAKER_01 28:08

And they would want that for you. Exactly. They'd be sitting there going, do this, like you've got to do this. Yeah, yeah. I like this episode. It is, it's good. It's good, it was nice.

SPEAKER_02 28:17

It's deep as Amy Bates says, we always go deep. We do, we we go deep and we go. What a floody tag line.

SPEAKER_01 28:25

We always go deep on that.

SPEAKER_02 28:27

That's what this one should be called. Oh my god, that actually we probably should do. Yeah, we should uh say what's the AI engine on our podcast thing. Under Lord. Under Lord, we go deep. We we just can we just ask that you call this one we go deep. Let's see if we're gonna do it. I do want to finish this episode with a heart healing card. Sorry, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:48

I'd forgotten.

SPEAKER_02 28:49

And I do find these. Oh, yeah, we've come up to the right time. I do want to say, as part of the show notes for this, can you make sure you promote your heart healing business, please? Okay. Thank you. You can you can promote my wellness tour box with episode two.

SPEAKER_01 29:01

Okay. And this is the heart healing one.

SPEAKER_02 29:03

Oh, actually, you might as well add it on to episode three as well.

SPEAKER_01 29:07

I uh I've lost these and I couldn't, I didn't know where they were, and I use them in my sound baths.

SPEAKER_02 29:11

So the other day I got a notification from Amazon saying that I've got royalties. And I thought, ooh, I've got a royalty statement. I was like, oh, people are buying my book. I don't know that sounds silly. And I I know that people do still buy my book, but you know when you don't know that people are buying your book. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:26

It was just a do you know who it was that bought your book? Do you ever get found out who no, it's just Amazon, it's just you just get your royalties thing.

SPEAKER_02 29:33

Oh, it was a couple of books, it wasn't like you know, a hundred books, but that would be nice. But what I mean is it was just I don't know, it was just a really nice surprise because I was like, the book's eight years old this year. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

Oh god, wow.

SPEAKER_02 29:44

You know what I mean? Yeah. So it's 2018 I released that book. Oh gosh. Eight years old, and people are still buying it. Yeah, and I'm still talking about it as if I wrote it yesterday. Yeah, that's crazy. I think I feel like I should do something was ten years' birthday. Yeah, we should. Maybe that's when I will release the next one. Wow. I know. So what was this?

SPEAKER_01 30:04

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. You can't see, but this card is called Radical Responsibility.

SPEAKER_02 30:10

So these are Natasha Bray's heart healing cards. They're absolutely beautiful, and the one that Laura's pulled is called Radical Responsibility. And for me, we go back to the start of this podcast and we've talked about every healer needs a healer, every coach needs a coach, every parent needs parents, you know, we all need the thing that we need that we do to support us as well. And actually, that comes down to responsibility, especially as healers and light workers. Yeah, yeah. If you're not doing the work to look after yourself, you've got that responsibility to yourself, but also to the people you work with.

SPEAKER_01 30:45

I think that's what I my moral responsibility, I was that's like where I was going with it. I just feel like you've got a duty of care. That's it. A duty of care for your clients to do the work on yourself.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

And excuse me, just so you know, this episode. Oh, have I just turned my microphone off now? This episode should be called Let's Go Deep with a duty of care. Sprinkle.

SPEAKER_01 31:09

Oh my god. Anyway, sorry. I actually think you should share what the healing is that you do as a somebody that is a healer and a coach. Like, share that because for me, if I'm looking to work with somebody, I'd want to know that they're do they're continuing on that journey. You know, I'd want to know that they're still healing themselves and they're practicing what they preach, I suppose you'd say. Let me read this out to you then. Life can be described as a constant choice between many paths or crossroads. Every day we are faced with the micro decisions about the direction and actions we want to take. When we take radical responsibility, we pick a path and we take full responsibility for that choice. Radical responsibility is not something to fear. It is not about blaming others or yourself when things don't work out as they you'd hoped. This only keeps you as a victim mindset and doesn't help your soul growth. Radical responsibility means taking the lessons from every path you choose, even when it isn't the lesson or outcome you thought you were going to get. Accepting that you made that choice for a reason, uncovering that reason and acknowledging it has still been an important part of your evolution and growth, just in a different way to what you expected. I love that, and I but I do think that that comes with a real deep trust in yourself and your decisions and your intuition. And I had a really good conversation with my sister the other day, and I was saying to her, you know, I really trust myself and I do, I do trust myself. But within that trust, it doesn't mean like that you should lose faith in yourself and your intuition, your decisions, because something hasn't worked out the way that you've wanted. It means, okay, well, that's still the right decision. Let's find out why. What are the lessons here? What are these obstacles? Where am I trying to be pushed and guided to? Yeah. And so I think for me it's like healing that trust wound that we've got within ourselves to really understand why we don't trust ourselves and how we can get back to that. I honestly do think that that's one of the biggest superpowers. Yeah. Trust and intuition. Once you've got that within yourself, I feel like you can do anything. Trust, intuition, self-awareness, compassion.

SPEAKER_02 33:11

Yeah. Power tools. I mean, makes this perfect.

unknown 33:15

We need to write another book together. Maybe.

SPEAKER_00 33:18

What is it? What would it be called?

SPEAKER_02 33:20

Your spiritual toolbox.

SPEAKER_00 33:22

Your spiritual toolbox? That's what we want to do. Yeah. Let's go deep. Yeah. I feel like that would be a good one, wouldn't it? Oh, we'd write that in five minutes. We would. We wouldn't even need chat GPT.

SPEAKER_02 33:33

Just get chat GPT to write it. Yeah, that's true. Other AI are available. I'm joking. Other AI are available. Well, on that note, oh, shall I turn it off? You always turn it off. Okay, fine. Right. Well let's stop there. Right then. Oh, oh, oh. See you later. Bye.