S2 E5 Letting Go with Love: The Future of Inspire and Connect

In this heartfelt and honest episode, Ali and Laura pull oracle cards, dive deep into a neuro inclusion course Ali attended, and have a raw, unplanned conversation about the future of their joint venture, Inspire and Connect (I&C). They reflect on what success really means, why chasing other people's version of it can leave you hollow, and how to know when to let something go,  even something you love.

Key Takeaways

• You are one in 8 billion — your unique experiences, hardships, and wisdom make you irreplaceable. No one else has your diamond.
• Equity over equality — meeting people where they are, rather than treating everyone the same, is how you truly show up for others. This applies in business, parenting, education, and leadership.
• The education system is outdated — built on the industrial revolution model, it wasn't designed for neurodivergent or individually-minded people. Change starts with awareness.
• Language matters in neurodivergency — "neuro minority" and "neuro majority" are emerging terms. Saying "we're all on the spectrum" actually undermines autistic people, the spectrum refers specifically to the autistic spectrum.
• Know when to let go — I&C served a massive purpose for many people, but holding on to something out of guilt or financial obligation can block new things from coming in. Every season has its end.
• Redefine your version of success — six and seven figures are noise if they don't align with what you actually need. Ask yourself: how much do I really need, and why?
• Business partnerships require space and respect — Ali and Laura's relationship has thrived because they've given each other a voice, respected each other's strengths, and not competed or blamed.
• Staying in your own lane — not comparing yourself to others, trusting the process, and being honest with yourself leads to real, grounded fulfilment.
• The Stretch card — drawn during the episode, it proved perfectly apt: both hosts have stretched enormously in the past year, growing individually even as I&C quietly paused.

People Mentioned

• Lisa Johnson — business coach and educator. Connect here.
• Kim Raine — mentioned as an educator and voice in the neurodivergency space whose work has influenced Ali. Connect here.
• Helen Daniel — referred to as their "beautiful unicorn," a speaker and educator in the neuro inclusion / neurodivergency space. Connect here.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome to things to remind the door and diet. Let's face the light, the last and laughter. We're here for conversations that laughter. The ones that hurt, the ones that heal, and the ones that might be laughed and still fight first. And let's take it off the next. Because that's where the two lists. It's just two frames in your ears. It's reminded that you're not alone. And we're all more connected to my thing.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

A quick note before we start, some of the conversations we have may be triggering. If at any point you feel uncomfortable, it's okay to pause, step away, or reach out for support. You'll find more guidance and helpful links in the show notes. Ali Swift, I pulled you a card.

SPEAKER_02 0:44

Laura Moss, thank you. What does it say?

SPEAKER_00 0:48

The diamond within you. Very pretty picture. Wish my body looked like that. Yeah, wish mine did. We all have a diamond inside us. Every hardship you have ever been through has alchemized this diamond inside you. Not only does it contain the lessons from your hardship, it contains the lessons from every generation that came before you and every lifetime your soul has experienced. This is your sacred soul wisdom that is meant to be passed to others through how you show up in this life. This is one diamond that can never ever be stolen. It is yours and only yours. Nobody else can take it from you. Nobody else has the same wisdom. It is a part of you. It is your unique magic. Not all diamonds are created equal. Every single one is unique, and yours is a rare and beautiful one. The diamond contains the priceless knowledge and wisdom that you were destined to share through your presence, through your work, and through your story to help heal the world. Nothing is a coincidence. You are not here by accident. You were always meant to be. Having had every experience that has shaped you into the amazing person you are, you may not have realized it yet, but you have the unique gifts that the world needs. You have a rare diamond inside you, and within it is your gift to the world, your unique magic. Oh, that's a nice one. It's funny because actually if you'd seen what I bought you for your birthday, that's actually quite apt. I haven't bought your diamonds. Don't get yourself excited. But I'm just wondering who else listening to this needed to hear that message as well, which is nice.

SPEAKER_02 2:21

We are all unique. And you know, just yesterday I was on a neuroinclusion course at work, and we're talking about neuroinclusion. Um and a few of us were sharing our own experiences and things like that. And we talked about equality and um equity over quite equality, and about how all of us have different needs. We can't we can't offer everybody the same thing because not everybody needs or wants the same thing. Although we have to strive for equality, equity is actually far more important where we actually meet the needs of the individual, the different types of people, the different types of character, the different experience, our different traumas, our different backgrounds. That's when you can really show up and help people and recognizing that you're unique, recognizing that everybody is unique, and there's like eight billion people in the world, and it just so happened that on another course a few weeks ago I got given this lovely little thing that said I'm one in a million, and then yes, I was like, No, I'm actually one in eight billion. And um, we've all got something to bring and all got something to give, and becoming self-aware of that and how you are and how you show up can actually really help you show up for others in a in a better way, I think. No, what a thought-provoking day yesterday, and that card very much aligns with some of the learnings I have from it.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

Well, I just thought to myself about children, I I'm not gonna go down this rabbit hole because we've talked about it before, but also I just don't think that's the topic for today. But it's like with the curriculum, I had a s a 10-second thought that maybe I'd homeschool Louie, and then it went out of my head, and I was like, you can't do that. But I thought about it because obviously, as your kids get into senior school, you realise that it's like it's not what everybody needs, and all that we're saying to people, yeah, you're unique, you're special, but the curriculum's not showing that at all. The school system isn't showing that at all, and that's really sad. So I do hope things change and people can find their path through that the education system.

SPEAKER_02 4:31

But it was kind of touching on that yesterday about the industrial revolution, and that's how the school system came into play.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

And it's old, it's outdated, you know. Yeah, it needs to be more individual, but but that's a really big task, isn't it? Because you'd then have to change all the teacher training.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:51

You know, it's not like, okay, let's just change the curriculum because you'd have to think about all the teachers that could potentially be out of a job if they can't meet the requirements of the new curriculum and stuff.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

Someone else was talking about this as well, around you know, when they talk about there's certain children in the class that need like that specialist care and attention, and a lot often it's around just about a one-on-one time, but moving away from one-on-one, just space to play and space to grow and be able to move around and things. But they say, Oh, well, we can't do that for one kid because we'd have to do it for all of them. And their answer was, so why don't you do it for all of them? Because surely it'd be good for all of them. And I was like, might drop.

SPEAKER_00 5:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:29

Actually, why are why are we adapting? Why are we saying we can't adapt a whole room to one person? Why not? Why not? Because if actually that will help that one child, surely it'll help all the children.

SPEAKER_00 5:43

It's like with one that like with Henry's diagnosis, not getting the diagnosis of autism. I was disappointed, not because I I wanted him to have it, because I I knew that the support would not be there for him. And yet he's he is neurodivergent, he he's definitely on the spectrum somewhere, but he didn't qualify in the social aspect, and I accept that that's absolutely fine. But he would have had the send team, he would have had provisions put in place, he would have had a passport where it tells teachers when he goes to their class what he needs in place to be able to get the best out of that c that situation. It's like how sad that we can't all have that, you know, but we're just nowhere near being there. We've we've moved on, but we're just not. I don't I think it's still very much a tick-box exercise.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

It was interesting because when the facilitator was asking about our own experiences, and I said, you know, I went for an ADHD assessment, they said I wasn't ADHD, but I had multiple traits, and then she was like celebrating the fact that I wasn't just put straight into a you want to you want this diagnosis, but I'm not gonna give it you. She thought that was actually positive, but then she was like, But then you're kind of left hanging, so what are you? And I'm like, Well, apparently I'm not neurotypical, I have got multiple traits of X, Y, and Z, but blah blah blah blah blah. And she said, Well, that's also frustrating because of what you've just said, it's like what when you do know or you know more, or like what provisions could be put in place and everything. As it happens, I don't feel like I do, and again, it's every person's different, but and I'm okay and I'm quite happy with where I'm at now. But the other thing I learned yesterday, two two other things I learnt yesterday, and I know we've covered quite we've covered a couple of podcasts on this, so we might not want to go down the rabbit hole too much as you've just said. But one of them was neurominority and neuromajority are now terms that are used that that was new to me yesterday. Considering the amount of exposure I have to a lot of people that talk about neuroinclusion and neurodivergence divergent and everything. I was shocked that that was the first time I'd heard those phrases. Was when it comes, you know, they always say, and I've heard so many people say, I have said this, well, we're all on the spectrum. Well, no, we're actually not. Not everybody, because the spectrum is the autistic autistic spectrum, actually on that spectrum. And to say it is is actually really quite undermining of those that are on the spectrum, and that about we had some conversations around that, and then the other one, it was like someone asked, so are you autistic or do you have autism? And actually both apply depending on who you are and what you prefer. And it was just really good conversations yesterday, and I love the fact that I'm exposed to this learning back in the corporate space as well. I'm just every day's a learning day, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 8:33

I think that's interesting because I probably have said, you know, we're all on the spectrum somewhere, and I hadn't thought of it in terms of like it feeling maybe a little bit like you're dismissing the people that are autistic and have got really severe needs, you know, like my cousin's son's autistic, and I hadn't really thought about it from that perspective. I think what I mean when I say that everyone's on the spectrum, it's maybe everybody's everyone's got differing needs. There's no like black and white, there's no you've not got it, you have got it. There's there's something within it that you've there'll be things through maybe autism that you've got traits of, there'll be things through ADHD you've got traits of. And so it's just like how could we adapt things to really accommodate?

SPEAKER_02 9:22

Yeah, it's so complex. Like she was explaining yesterday, and I have heard this before that one trait doesn't apply to one thing. One the trait could apply to multiple things. I'm trying to think though, because it's not conditions, I'm trying to think what the the right wording is, the right language is. But yeah, it's it was fascinating yesterday. Like I've you know, I've I've Joe Machicken, I've loved listening to her, and there's Kim Rain and the things I've learned through her and our beautiful unicorn, Helen Daniel. How good are I with names then? Let's just celebrate my you know what I've learned from those people, their books, their talks, being in spaces with them. I've learned so much, but again, yesterday I had a new type of learning, and it was it was very much around how I as a people manager help my team who are who all have needs, whether you're neuro minority or neural majority. You know, it's about understanding that how I experience something others might not. Yeah, it was really, really interesting. But anyway, I've just pulled a card for you. Oh thanks. Oh, that wasn't the card I pulled for you. Where did you just go? Oh no, that isn't either. No way. Oh, here it is, here it is, here it is, here it is.

SPEAKER_00 10:43

Ooh, do you know what? Oh no, do you know what? I pulled that for my mum when I was with you on Friday. May you extend your reach.

SPEAKER_02 10:52

How interesting is this? Very interesting, yeah. Should we share or talk a little bit about what we've been doing this morning?

SPEAKER_00 11:00

Yeah, I think we should.

SPEAKER_02 11:01

Are we ready for that?

SPEAKER_00 11:03

Well, we can decide when we're ready to let people listen. Can't we? We're in a recording, we're not live, Alex.

SPEAKER_02 11:13

This morning, well, it was actually late last night. Laura messaged me, didn't you, Laura? I did to tell me that somebody else is running a business with the Inspiring Connect Networking brand. Well, not brand, sorry. The name. It's not the name of the name, be very clear on that. And they've even got our own our old Instagram handle. And they've been running, by the looks of it, a couple of networking groups for the last couple of years. Uh the last year, sorry, which is actually when we kind of went quiet, they've appeared. It's like the universe needed Inspire and Connect Networking to carry on. And actually, when you look at the socials and stuff, it does look really, it looks really positive. The but is that we actually own the trademark to Inspire and Connect Networking. So what does that mean for us, Laura? What where have those conversations led us today?

SPEAKER_00 12:06

When I found it, because I was actually told about it before Christmas from a friend of mine that lives that way, and you were told about it a little while before that, like maybe around the time that it was launched, but for whatever reason, you know, that it's nothing's happened with it, and it's fine. We've both been in completely different places, and if you think about the time that you would have been told about it, we were both going through an awful lot. So, anyway, came up for me yesterday. Didn't I feel like happy when I see spaces like that been created? It makes me happy to see that that there are places for people. This one is a women's networking group, that there are spaces for women to go and network because I still think that there's a need and a space for it, but it it just made me think I don't know, it definitely struck a chord in my heart because it's my it's been the name since 2019. I created it, you know, for people who don't know the story, we've probably talked about it before. Yeah, and it came from you know at a time where I really needed that, and that's why I set it up. So it did strike a chord with me a little bit, and then part of me goes, oh, okay, don't matter, just let it go. And then part of me goes, no, because like we've put so much into that name and we are known for that name, and the fact that people, multiple people, have reached out to us because they know that that is Inspire and Connect is Ali and Laura makes me think we've built something lovely. And can we just make a side note to say that we have reached out to this person, they've been nothing but lovely, and we're going to have a really lovely, friendly chat with them. So we're not going to share anything to do with that chat because that's completely private and confidential. We are literally just downloading to you what has gone through our thought process because it might happen to you, and it may not be a branding thing, it may be something else, it might not be a trademark, it might be something that just resonates, and I just think it's quite nice to unpack it and to hear other people's opinions on it. So then it got us into a probably a bit of a deeper conversation about what we do with Inspire and Connect. And without going into too much information, because I don't think that that's the thing that we do. It's just not how we roll. I think Inspire and Connect is related to things that me and which is a shame because it's not related to everything like this, but it's the way that it ended is not the nicest of ways, and so it reminds us of a time that was a really emotional, difficult time. And I'm not going back to it, I was thinking to myself, I was so hormonal, like I literally had had a baby not even two months before that, and so you can imagine, like, I feel more even more venorable. I almost feel like I'm completely naked and I've got no clothes on, and feel quite fearful of like what was unfolding in the background because it didn't feel right, yeah. And so the questions we were asking each other was is the Inspire and Connect name tarnished a little bit for us, not for anyone else. I'm talking about mine and Ali's conversation about how we felt about this name. Is it tarnished a little bit because of what has happened? Would we come back as Inspire and Connect as a networking group? No, we both decided that a little while ago.

SPEAKER_02 15:37

No, we said we would have that.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

Yeah, and I think we would come back as Inspire and Connect, but we did think about a wellness hub. But even that in itself, does the wellness space that we sit in match the brand in? Does the name still say networking? Is it going to be a little bit confusing because there's a story behind Inspire and Connect? Obviously, Inspire and Connect holds amazing memories for both of us, but sometimes you just I feel like the universe was working with us and steering us in a new direction, and we would not have. And sometimes these things are painful and expensive, but that had to be for us to go. We can't carry on like this because it was impacting both of our mental health. I can't tell you the relief of pausing things so that I could literally just focus on my maternity leave with it. I would never have had that time. I didn't have a business in the background by then because my sound stuff was on hold. I couldn't do sound bath, so I literally didn't feel like I had to do anything, and that was a true gift. And I don't think I'd have had that had we carried on with INC. And we had to make some really difficult decisions, but I do honestly think it was the right thing for us because and I'm not this isn't an opinion about anyone saying anyone's bad or good, but sometimes the universe says these people are not to go on the next bit of the journey with you, these people are not part of your next chapter, not part of your story, and that's exactly what the universe was doing to us, and probably just give us a bit of a shake up to say, like, and remind us of who the people are in our lives that are 100% there, like got your back, and sometimes you need that when you're going through a difficult time.

SPEAKER_02 17:26

It was just hard at the time because it was such an expensive thing. There was because it wasn't it, you know, it was it wasn't but it had a biggest impact on our emotions more than anything, I think. And it's it stretched us, it tested us, but I love the fact that stretch card has come out there because I think in the last even though to everyone outside looking in, it looks like Inspiring Connect has just like quietly disappeared and we've not really been doing anything. If you think about what we've both achieved in the last year and how much we've actually stretched ourselves and the opportunities now, you know, you're now a Reiki practitioner. Like, where's that come from, Laura? Like your sound bath healings are just going so well, and you're thriving in so many ways. Also was bringing in.

SPEAKER_00 18:15

Oh, you've gone muted. Oh minute, I think you're back.

SPEAKER_02 18:20

Am I still here? You're back. Oh, I'm here. Oh gosh, now it's saying my internet connection's unstable. Am I here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm having so many tech issues today. And bloody Mercury retrograde's gone. It's gone. It's gone. We're not in retrograde. I think we're in retrograde now. No, it's finished. Yeah, it finished yesterday, didn't it? Anyway, or whatever. So sorry, going back to what you were saying and linking that back in. The conversations we've had this morning around Inspire and Connect and what it means to us now, and we were hurt. We were hurt, and uh, I think both of us have in the last year especially focused on our own businesses, obviously, me back in my corporate space as well, which has has been my my priority and things have gone really well there as well. Um, we've realised that we are both inspiring, we're both all about connection, and we will continue to work together and in full capacity in one way or another, because full capacity doesn't mean five days a week or seven days a week, full capacity means when we're together, we're together and our energy is fully there and the next project. So obviously we've got in two minds the podcast, that's not going any away anywhere right now, but I think today we have talked about do we just let inspire and connect go?

SPEAKER_00 19:40

I think one of the things that might have been holding me and you back was that I we both and I we've maybe spoke about it, I don't know, we've both put money into INC that never got paid back, and me more than you towards the end, which is fine. A decision that I decided to take on, and that's absolutely fine. But I just wonder whether we're both holding on because we feel like we need to pay me back, um but maybe that's holding us back from manifesting other money into our lives in other ways. But maybe yeah, and maybe it's just like a cloud that's on our above our heads that we just don't need, and we just maybe need a clean slate because at the minute we've got like the company sitting there not doing an awful lot, we're enjoying the time that we've got together, we've got Instagram just sitting there. I've had people message me recently about have I got a meetup near here, and and it makes me think, oh god, no, I haven't, because I love doing that, but I just think that we will turn up in another way, and I don't know we fully know what that looks like. We've batted ideas around, but we've both decided to go away and not make any huge decisions right now. But I think one of the things we probably have decided is that the INC name and brand is probably not the way that we're moving forward.

SPEAKER_02 20:59

Yeah, yeah, I think yeah, well that's been quite a morning, really, hasn't it? Having those conversations, probably not conversations we expected to have. No, but I think as well for me, and I will be careful saying this, uh, is I am seeing so much behaviour on social media at the moment around on the online space, and I am so glad we took a step back.

SPEAKER_00 21:25

I I think Yeah, I think we'd have got sucked into a lot of stuff, and um if we'd have stayed where we were and uh it's just not a very nice place to be sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 21:37

We have been massively protected and we were trying to do all the right things. We didn't do anything intentionally, intentionally to hurt or upset anybody, and our name has been dragged through various places and in not nice ways, and we've not had the opportunity. Just give our truth or talk about it. We've had a lot of people make assumptions, we've had people block us, we've had people walk away. It's affected my own business and your businesses as well. And just relinquishing that and just just going, do you know what? Just let them be. Let that what is it? Let them. Yeah. And now I take a step back. And this doesn't come with smugness, by the way, or any kind of arrogance, but I'm sitting there watching, going, so glad I'm not part of this right now. And we would have been very much part of that.

SPEAKER_00 22:31

I agree. Especially running the business that we did. You know, now I feel like I can go to events as sound healing hearts as myself and show up, do my thing, and leave, you know. Like you've I've learned and grown so much. And I know like the people that I want to be connected to, and I know that there's some areas that I don't, and I'm not saying that they're that's because they're wrong, or that there's it's just that you find your people, everyone knows that, and then sometimes you find people that are not aligned with you.

SPEAKER_02 23:00

It's quite a good message though, as well. You don't have to keep ploughing on with the right people, yeah. With the wrong people, does that make sense? If you suddenly realize you're actually connected to the wrong people, or actually you're not aligned, or something doesn't feel right, then it is okay to change those relationships. No one has to fall out with anyone. I'm that's I'm not that's not what I'm talking about. I mean, at some point you might say, actually Ali, I just don't think we're aligned anymore. I mean, if you ever do that, I will actually cut you down, stop you, and live in your house and you know on on a serious note. Like we go even today, you know, that you could see how visibly upset I was when we talked about do we let Inspiring Connect go? Because I'm like Inspiring Connect was such a huge part. Look at me again, it's getting me again, it's getting me again, it gets me again because Inspiring Connect saved me in a lot of ways. We know it did, it really helped me through my healing through my divorce. You know, the people that showed up for me. But like marriages, things can fall away and friendships can change, and every brilliant thing Inspiring Connect has given me, and all the lessons it's given me, it's also reminded me who I am and the strength I have and the beautiful relationship you and me have got, and even the conversation we've had today around do we let it go? It's not you and me letting each other go.

SPEAKER_00 24:22

No, exactly. It feels like it is like when we first say it out loud, it probably felt like it did, because that's been our business together since 2021. So you it does feel a bit like oh, and we put so much love and so much time, and but it's not been wasted. No, it hasn't been wasted because I feel like um what I don't want people to think is that INC has got just bad memories for us and we're getting rid of it, and that like it's not that it's just sometimes you've just got to know when to let things go. INC served a massive purpose, INC helped a lot of people, and I remember when we were pausing everything and people came forward from like years ago, from before you were on board with me saying like how much INC helped them, and I was like, God, it really did, like it's done a lot in all the years that it's been going, and I would never take that back.

SPEAKER_02 25:12

I think that's when you planted most of the seeds. I can't really I can take credit for some of our successes. Well, we take credit for our successes, but there's so many seeds that you planted that might have shown up after I arrived, but that was your that was your graph, that was your seed planting, that was your watering, and then it started to bloom. Yeah, um, and the reputation of your INC, you know, comes so much from those early seeds that you planted, and we still have got an amazing reputation, yeah. You know, just this week I've had someone say about when's Inspiring Connect coming back, and I'm like, it won't be coming back in the flavour that it is with regards to networking. No, but that was somebody who doesn't really know Inspiring Connect, but they were like, I don't want to get involved, yeah. Yeah, but there's everything has a season, doesn't it? But what we've got from this has been amazing, and I don't think anything's a waste of time. I don't think any relationship's a waste of time because you can apply this not just to work, a person as well. Like every experience we go through, every journey we do, all the effort and love we put into something, if it doesn't turn out it's not about it's about what you've learned, the value you've got from that experience.

SPEAKER_00 26:28

What people will think and look at this sometimes, if this is your own experience, is that it's some sort of failure. But what you what would you define as success? Because for success for me is that it did what it said on the tin, it inspired people, it connected them, it helped people in business, it started collaborations, it created beautiful friendships, and some of them I know that are still going now. It gave me so many lessons, it made us, I think as people we thank you so much, yeah. But oh shit, the bed. Oh, I thought for a long minute, sorry, I just had a moment that I thought I didn't hit record. Can you actually imagine? And it is recording. Oh my god, that'll be so funny.

SPEAKER_02 27:18

That's because one of our episodes we spent a lovely half an hour having a great conversation, it didn't record, did it?

SPEAKER_00 27:24

But I was what I was gonna say was our relationship together, we've learnt so much individually, but also as a business relationship. I feel like we've got so much to give to other people around relationships because we've shown up the way that I feel, wouldn't it be amazing if everybody showed up like that to a relationship? I think we've both given each other space, we've both given each other a voice, we've both been, you know, I just think we've both both been so respectful to one another. Don't get me wrong, I can't stand watching Allie on Canva, and today she's been under script, and I've been like, I can't look. I can hear it, but I'm just gonna get on with this episode. But we know Astrants, Ali's isn't Canva, she doesn't like it, but we've just like we've just given each other space. I just feel like I have learnt so being together, like and I've seen business partnerships crumble because they've not been able to do that, and it's not a criticism, it's just like I'm so proud of where we've come together. It's just it's amazing, and again, this you've become a Reiki practitioner, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:37

Like, I want you to go and thrive in your Reiki business now, and that's me, you know, that's not me going, oh, become a Reiki practitioner so we can work together as Reiki practitioners, and yeah, like I'm like Laura, I just want to see your business thrive, and the more tools and things you can offer, especially in the spiritual space to your clients, why would I not want to support and give you that? It's one of the reasons that I'm gonna be doing the heart healing work with you and doing your heart healing because I'm not gonna be a heart healer for my unless I can go down that route at some point, but it will absolutely support my clients, the lessons that you're gonna teach me. Like we've got so much to give each other, we've got so much value to give each other, we haven't turned on each other, we haven't got annoyed with each other because that didn't work, or this didn't work, or Ali's really crap on Canva. We've you know, or Laura disappears for weeks and then I never know where she is. I'm joking. She was having a baby. I'm a joking. I don't know, I do I do think I just feel really rich. I feel very wealthy in this business. We didn't make a code of money. We didn't buy it.

SPEAKER_00 29:52

Yeah, but that's why I say it's it's not a failure, it's not a it's not we didn't succeed because we didn't have all these franchises, we didn't succeed because we didn't make all this money, we didn't we couldn't quit our jobs. Like that for me isn't success.

SPEAKER_02 30:07

Is that self-preservation though?

SPEAKER_00 30:10

No, I think it's realising when something comes to an end, how many people will plow on, plow on, plow on, push through, push through, push through till they're literally on their knees, yeah, and they just won't let it go. And I think that we've been forced quicker into that, and actually, you think about you think about before we said, right, let's just pause the back and forth conversations, the meetings, making sure that we could have the money to pay someone to help us, like that for me was like quite a stressful time because there was so much pressure, and so I I I you know we might get to that point again at some point, I don't know, but I just think that when we're looking on the online space or or offline and at other businesses, we're we're defining our success, but monetary, but for me, INC has been successful, it's been an amazing, amazing time. Like the talk we did on the big festoon stage, like you know, but that's and again that's not happened, and then it's wasted because we're not going anywhere to get without each other. We're just saying I and C is not the platform.

SPEAKER_02 31:23

Well, we're still talking, we're still communicating, we're still broadcast. We exactly, and we the training we had for the speaking, I've gone on and used in the speaking that I do. You've used it in the speaking that you do. We'll continue to do that in the speaking in the future that we do together. At the end of the day, you're still in your 30s and I'm still in my forties. We've got years to come yet. We've just we have planted some incredible seeds, we've seen some wonderful things bloom, we've been hurt, we've learned from that hurt. We've had some great weekends away, we've used uh the premiering many times together and laughed until it's hurt, but it's just the start of our story, I think. And the other thing that's really coming up for me at the moment is everyone going on about their six, seven year figure and everything. I get that, I get it, I get it. Why people do it because that that is people chase money, like that's we that's what a lot of us do, right? And then you have other people going, Oh, I don't understand why that person's saying this about that money and that money, because let's face it, that might be their turnover, it isn't their profit. People should be talking about profit, not this, and what are they actually taking home and da da da? They're giving false this and false that and I just see it all at both sides. That's it, all is noise. Because as long as you uh are able to keep a roof over your head and pay your bills and you're earning the money that is gonna make you happy, does it really matter if there's seven figures, six figures, five figures, four figures? If you are pursuing a business because you know it's gonna bring you the income that you wish or the you would like, because we're allowed to inspire as well to have more. But if you are struggling and you're running a business because you need money, you know, it isn't it isn't a I would like to, except I need to, and just don't listen to that noise, that's all I want to say. Because I have run multiple businesses now, and I have gone back into corporate, and what I'm doing in my life now is exactly the same as I was doing before. But I don't have the IT consultancy now, I'm doing my IT within Eon. I don't do as much guest speaking and things anymore, the kind of the well-being coaching and stuff. I'm doing that in Eon. So Eon are paying me to do those things. Alongside that, I've got my well-being business, which I do my Reiki, which I absolutely love. And it's not exactly everything that you know I haven't been able to scale it necessarily in the way I want to because I'm back in corporate and there's only time much time. I get to connect with you and speak to you and connect with amazing people through the work that we do and our businesses. I'm about to turn over this year. If we talk about turnover or make money, it's the most I've made in 15 years. In fact, it's the most I've ever made. My profit this year, taking all my incomes into consideration, including my corporate, my P A Y E, is profit. And it's the most I've made in. So does that make me really successful? No. It's just what I it depends what your success is. I don't go, oh my god, I made the most money this year. Well I I don't know, I don't even know what I'm trying to say.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

Do you know what I think though? For me, your success is your home. The thing that you've created, that for me feels like your success.

SPEAKER_02 34:39

I've lost my home, I've lost my family life, I'm living in a smaller house, I've gone back into corporate, which everyone was like, Well, don't do that, you could need to do this. But I'm still doing all the things I wanted to do. I'm still following my passion, I'm still following my purpose. I've had to give up and lose a lot to do that, but I've still done it, and I'm actually going to be earning more money. This profit, money in my back pocket that I can spend on whatever I want than ever had in my life. When you look at the black and white plus investments, pensions, all that's happening. And this isn't selling you to anyone going back into corporate, but what this is to the outside looking in, I get people will have seen a lot of things I've lost, a lot of things that I've given up on, might say, Oh, she's failed, she's not successful. But I'm happy, I'm comfortable, and I'm doing all the things I want to do, and I'm following my passion, my purpose. That's bloody successful as far as I'm concerned.

SPEAKER_00 35:32

You know what's interesting?

SPEAKER_02 35:33

I'm sure that's not really am I have I articulated sorry, have I asked you? Yeah, no, it might actually know what I'm trying to say.

SPEAKER_00 35:39

I do, I do, and I think it what's interesting is that, and Lisa said this publicly in a webinar that I listened to, is that she's Wellissa Johnson, she's scaling back because she doesn't need that much money. She doesn't she's scaling her business back, and it made me go, do you know what? I actually don't want millions and millions of pounds. I know it sounds stupid because people will be like, yes, you do, but I don't because I I've seen the sacrifice that people make for that much money. Sometimes it's online abuse, sometimes it's health, and she's she admits, Lisa admits that you know her health took a huge turn a few years ago. I just think it that things are shifting at the minute, and I think people are realising actually, we're probably a lot of the time chasing other people's version of success, not what we actually want. You know, all I want to be able to do is to save for my future when I retire so that I don't have to work until I'm 80. I want the children to be able to have and to be able to do what they want to do. I want us to be able to have family holidays, I don't want the stress of money, I want us to have a really good balance of what we're doing. And I actually think sometimes if we if I if we had too much money, we would go a bit overboard. And I don't also want my kids to be ungrateful. I want to keep them humble and make sure that they know like the importance and be got and be grateful. So it would be interesting, you know, to to just dig a bit deeper into what people listening think that their purpose is and their their version of success.

SPEAKER_02 37:12

Yeah. What what is it that you actually want to earn and why do you want to earn it? How much do you really need? I'm not even sure if I know exactly how much. Maybe. That was a rhetorical question, by the way. But carry on answering if you want to.

SPEAKER_00 37:30

Well, no, because do you know, but do you know what's interesting is like you were saying about the six figures. Before it was six figures, it was five K months, it was ten K months, and I think you get that stuck in your head, don't you? And you think, yeah, I need 5k, I need 10k. And it's like, I don't probably don't need either of those things, I just need enough for me to feel happy and also to have a good work-life balance. Yeah, I don't want to give all of me to something for money. That's not what I want. And I've learned over the last like couple of years just how important the the things are not, the memories are, the holidays are, the having people still in my life are.

SPEAKER_02 38:06

It's that I could earn another 15%, I think it works out to be on top of my salary if I went full-time. So, and you could say, well, why wouldn't you just do that rather than you hustling and your Reiki clients? Because I'm getting the balance, and yeah, I could earn more minute. I actually could, but I'm I'm I'm trying to get the right balance, and at some point, work might say, actually, to keep this contract, you are gonna have to do five days a week. And if that then comes, I'm I'm gonna have to have those conversations. I don't know if that ever will happen. But in the meantime, if I can get the work-life balance, and actually I can afford to do that, I can afford to do that. I'm I'm I'm looking ahead a little bit at pensions and things now as well. I've finally got serious about it because I lost that as part of divorce and what have you, how that plan went. It's like I'm not looking at anybody else, what anybody else has got. I love being in my smaller home, you know, whereas people are thriving to be in a bigger house, I'm more than happy. All I'm worried about is Thomas and the fact he's probably gonna grow out of the box room. But really, does it really matter?

SPEAKER_00 39:10

No, you still got to go. You don't want more space to clutter, you don't want more spaces to put things in it.

SPEAKER_02 39:18

I think I think the journey we've both been on in the last few years has really made me like I'm just I'm just so content with what I've got.

SPEAKER_00 39:27

I think it's grounded us, I think it's massively grounded us. I think it's gone this is what's important.

SPEAKER_02 39:34

And actually, it's made me more wealth in so many other ways. I don't have all the assets now. I don't need all the assets.

SPEAKER_00 39:40

No, and you know what? So many times I've thought to myself, you know, maybe I should just stick in P A Y. Maybe I should just stick with that because I can leave work at work, but I think it's in you like it is in me. I love helping people, yeah. And I just don't feel like I'm good, yeah, and I don't feel like I'd be filling my soul's purpose if I wasn't doing those things. So I have to just resign to the fact that I'm always gonna want to do my own thing, I'm always gonna want to be in the healing space, helping people, I just want to help people.

SPEAKER_02 40:09

So if my employer turned round to me and said, Right, Ali, we love all the tech work you do, we live all the well-being work you do, but you can't do the well-being or the coaching anymore. Like, there's just we don't want you to have anything to do with it, you've got to step back completely, then this might be a different conversation for me. But right now, I can do all the things I love, and how lucky, how lucky am I that I get to say that, and that has all worked out for me, but I have one person to thank for that myself.

SPEAKER_00 40:39

Yep, I agree. I feel like that's a great place to end.

SPEAKER_02 40:44

Yeah, and that sounds really arrogant, but I'm look, I'm doing it again. Sounds really arrogant, I'm not being arrogant. It doesn't, no, it doesn't. It doesn't matter because I I stopped, I didn't look at anybody else's lane, I got in my own lane and I followed my own lane. I've had you and me have had to have honest conversations, but I just was like, what do I need to do for me and my family right now? And in doing so, and staying present, trusting the process, but being honest and open with people and not holding on or trying to prove this to that person or prove that to that person, or scared if people thought I was gonna fail, I've I've come through. And I know by saying that I'm gonna probably like some something's gonna happen next week, and then I'll be like, oh my god, I'm on another journey. But for now, I'm I'm so grateful, so grateful. Anyway, yeah, we've gotta we've gotta wrap it up, haven't we? Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 41:34

Well, thank you. It's been a pleasure, but it'd be interesting when we launch this just to say goodbye to YNC. But reach out if we listen to it. No, we will. We will we definitely will. But yeah, it's been a good conversation. Thanks, Alice. Thank you. Love you, bye. Love you, Laura. Bye. That's it for today's episode of In Two Minds, where life, loss, and laughter all have their place. Thanks for joining us on the journey. If something here inspired you, made you think, or simply made you smile, and share it with someone who might need it. Until next time, take care, stay connected, and remember it's okay to be in two minds.

SPEAKER_02 42:14

Before you go, just reminder if anything that we talked about today's support, please available reach out. Don't resources and ways to reach out.