Keep Able Reablement Podcasts
Keep Able is your go to authority on Wellness and Reablement. Our various podcasts cover discussions on real world issues and examples from people in the at home aged care support sector, specifically for CHSP providers.
Keep Able Reablement Podcasts
'Everything you do for me, you take from me' - with Amy-Pearl Jones
As a carer, it is important to promote independence of the person you are caring for. Amy-Pearl works for Carers WA and has experience using the 'Everything you do for me, you take from me' concept and shares her learnings with us and how she applied this in her own caring role.
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Hello and welcome to this episode of the Reablement Podcast, where Keep Able will be talking to a range of people who have experience with using reablement and explore how it all comes together and why it works. I'm Alison Vella from KeepAble. My guest in this episode is Amy Pearl Jones from CARES WA. Amy Pearl not only works in the carer industry but has lived experience and she's going to share her story with us today. Amy Pearl, welcome. Thank you. Nice to be here, Alison. So to begin, can you tell us a little bit about your story, your role with CARES WA, and then your role as a carer over the years?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, for sure. So I've worked at CARES WA for about five years now. I work in the CARE Wellness at Home program. Basically, we support carers in navigating services like my aged care and emotional and community supports as well. I not only work with carers directly face to face, but I do a lot of sector development programs. So I've got different programs and projects that I do that create sustainability and accessibility in the sector. I find it very, I'm very passionate about aged care and supporting carers as well. So for the past 13 years, I've been a carer for my mum. I was in my late teens when she was diagnosed with a brain tumour. And that diagnosis changed everything for her and for us as a family. She couldn't manage those daily tasks she once did so easily. So my family and I stepped up now to support her as families do. And at the time I was juggling nursing studies and working while taking on this new role, which wasn't easy, but it was something that we had to do as a group, my family and I. Caring for my mum has been one of the most transformative experiences of my life. It taught me resilience and compassion and what it means to truly be there for someone. And I'm so proud to say that today my mum is doing a lot better. She's incredibly independent at home in the community. And my role has shifted from that primary shared care with my father now to more that emotional support and some organizational support as well. But I'm, of course, my role will always change as carers do. So if the time comes where she needs me again, I'm I'm there for her. So yeah. Oh, fantastic.
SPEAKER_01:Thanks for sharing that with us. The story I'd love to hear about from you is how you heard about the everything you do for me, you take from me concept. That's what we're sort of going to focus a little bit on today. So tell us about that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, for sure. So a friend of mine actually works at ILA and she shared the concept with me. And when I first heard it, I was like, it made me stop and reflect on just how I care for my mum now, but also on how I supported her in those earlier years, especially when she needed my help all the time. Even then I realized it was a reflection on everything you do for me, you take from me. It was important to give her the space to be involved in her own care. It was important to give her that choice and it that encouragement encouragement of uh her independence. So yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And of course, the quote, everything you do for me, you take from me, has come from a quote attributed to the famous educator Maria Montessori. Uh, and it absolutely embodies the principles of wellness and reablement and why we love that concept, which is great. Uh, so you heard about it from somebody you know at um ILA. And then so did you go online and do the training module?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, eventually, once the training module and everything all came out, I went on to it. I'm very especially in my professional role, I'm always looking at things that can better myself, but also the carers that I support. So I went straight onto it and went through it all. And uh and I work really closely with ILA. So I'm and I was telling a lot of my colleagues as well who work very closely with carers about it. So yeah, it's a it's a really good resource.
SPEAKER_01:So what difference then did that make to the way you approached your role of carer to your mum? You reflected back on your earlier times, but from that point on then, can you describe what insights the learning gave you and how you applied it?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so this approach made a real difference in how I cared for her. It wasn't just about easing her burden, but helping her regain her confidence and independence at her own pace. Looking back, I think it made our bond even stronger and gave her dignity and the empowerment she deserved during such a challenging time. And even now, it's that confidence I can really see. It's it's really amazing.
SPEAKER_01:I love that language that you use around strengthening your bond and the dignity, dignity that she deserved, because that's the value in caring for someone with this approach and empowering them, isn't it? Yeah, oh yeah, definitely. Had you heard about the concept before it was mentioned to you?
SPEAKER_00:No, I hadn't thought of it in those exact terms before hearing it. I think for me it was an idea that had always been in the back of my mind, something I like I understood but had never put into words. Hearing that phrase, everything you do for me, take from me, gave clarity in those thoughts and made me reflect more deeply on my approach as a carer, especially. It helped me recognize the importance in encouraging independence, finding a balance between supporting my mum and also allowing her to stay involved in her own care. But it was a turning point for sure.
SPEAKER_01:So when you explained the importance of maintaining mum's independence, how was it received by the rest of the family?
SPEAKER_00:Look, when I explained the importance of maintaining mum's independence, it was actually received really well because the rest of the family was already naturally doing it. We're a very close-knit family. I was 19 when mum was first diagnosed, so um I was still quite young, and I have younger siblings. I have to say my dad did a lot of it as well, being I'm the eldest of five, so we're all still quite young. But my dad, I really have to take my hat off to him. He did so much and he's an incredible man. But it felt like more of a natural progression for us all rather than a big shift. It was that mindset around, okay, let's let's focus more on letting mum do her own things and independence and confidence building. She's a very resilient woman, I have to say that. She was very welcome to letting us give her that confidence and give her that space to do her own things.
SPEAKER_01:It sounds like you know, the little things make a big difference in the approach that you took, which is fantastic. How did you and your mum identify ways of doing tasks with her instead of for her through this process?
SPEAKER_00:So mum and I worked together to figure out ways to approach tasks as a team rather than me taking them over completely, which was hard at first. Maybe it's just in my nature with nursing and the my role now. I want to help people. So it was a bit of a change for myself. It really started with open conversations, asking her what she felt comfortable doing and what area she might need a bit more support in. Um, from there, we would break tasks down uh into smaller steps that she could manage. With me stepping in only when I was really needed. It takes a lot of patience, but it's it's very rewarding. So, for example, it could be instead of me organizing her calendar and booking appointments and doing that, I would handle the scheduling, whereas she would tell me or she would make those decisions what work best for her. So some days she would have her own activities. It was giving her that choice in where those appointments would go: household tasks, keeping that balance, giving her space to make her feel that she's still capable of doing these tasks for herself and for the family as well. So yeah. Just a big conversation.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and I'm sure a lot of people can relate to um sort of like the mother-daughter relationship as well. Sort of, you know, you you've got that mindset, haven't you, going in, you know, I need to try and do as much as I can here to support this person that's um, you know, nurtured me my whole life.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and being the eldest daughter as well, I'm very my younger siblings would call me bossy, but I would say I'm just very nurturing. I just want the best for everyone. And and I think having that that relationship of mother-daughter, um, that this concept really helped that as well.
SPEAKER_01:Do you feel this is an approach anyone can use and people should consider using when working with older people they are caring for?
SPEAKER_00:Definitely. Everyone can use this concept. I believe a a lot of people would already, like myself, were already doing it. It's putting that idea of doing things and putting it into an actual phrase. Everything you do from me, you take from me. I think it's that real switch in that mindset. But honestly, it's it takes a lot of patience, but it's very rewarding. Simple things like instead of doing the dishes completely, maybe have someone pack the dishwasher or unload the dishwasher, do little tasks that they can do, but it is just really having that open conversation and giving them that choice.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. You've summed it up perfectly there, which is great. Because workers in the care at home industry can often feel that asking a client to participate in tasks with them can feel a little bit uncomfortable. This is where the importance of that, um, you know, having a really great conversation comes in. Starting with, you know, what parts of this are you able to do? And we we can then work together on the task, keeping it uncomplicated. But yeah, starting the conversation, that's key, isn't it? Yeah, I definitely. It's that that starting point is that conversation. Yeah. So using activities that are familiar and meaningful to someone, it helps to engage them and achieve some really good outcomes. The small things, again, can make a big difference to someone. Have you noticed any significant changes in your mum's mood or motivation levels since providing that different approach?
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely. I've noticed a significantly positive change in my mum's mood and motivation since we adopted a more collaborative approach. She still has a lot of daily pain and discomfort. But where she does feel like she is having a good day, she's able to do those things by focusing on tasks with her instead of doing it for her. It's clear she feels more in control of her life as well. Her confidence has grown significantly. I know when she was first diagnosed, it was really hard for her to get out in the community and and join groups and do things. But now she she has more of a social life than me. Um she goes to Tai Chi and she does sewing and she does all these incredible activities where now she's she's got that confidence to go out and and meet new friends. I mean, she meets, she makes friends at the supermarket. She's just such an open, bubbly person. But I think giving her that choice and that confidence in her daily tasks really transformed the way she, yeah, I guess, lives daily.
SPEAKER_01:So yeah, definitely. So that real collaborative approach gave her the chance to build back that confidence that a diagnosis like that, yeah, like we have no idea how that would affect you, but it's a huge impact. Considering the different benefits of tasks is really important because they've got benefits such as physical, cognitive, emotional, social benefits to the daily tasks that we each do every day, which we don't often think about. What would you consider an example of that that was something you encouraged your mum to do with your support, but you could see that there would be benefits for her?
SPEAKER_00:I think from just at the top of my head, a situation where when we were younger, my mum, my mum's Greek, our whole life revolves around food. So when we were younger, she used to make the most elaborate big meals and everything. When she got sick, obviously, it was hard to stand up all the time. And it was something that she struggled with was the cooking side of things. She's always been a brilliant cook. And when I was younger, a lot of us siblings and my dad would take over and do all these meals. As she started to become a little bit more independent, I I think the way we went around it was that being kids, being teenagers and stuff, where I don't want to cook tonight. I mum, you do it kind of thing. And that gave her, I I guess in a way, in a roundabout way, it gave her that confidence to cook again. Um, and she still cooks the most and now she's never stopped making amazing meals. It just takes her a little bit longer and she gets tired easy. And my I have uh teenage brothers, they're the the youngest boys, and it's giving them in a way, it's a lesson for the all of us, really, because it gives them the independence to um learn how to cook a spaghetti bolognese or something. Um, or it's so they when they move out of home, they're able to to survive. Um and it was the same when I was younger. I learned how to cook meals because she would be teaching me on the side whilst I was doing it. But then we gave her that choice of okay, mum, do you want to do it tonight? Because we're teenagers.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Real gentle encouragement. I love that. Because as we know, even a task like cooking, sort of, you know, you've got to make decisions, you've got to follow the instructions, or in her case, more likely, go back into the memory bank, you know, sort of, you know, what what are my steps in making this? And cooking for the family is such an emotional benefit as well. So there's so many different ways that that becomes an important task for somebody and yeah, it really builds up their confidence and their well-being.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, definitely. And having five kids is every single one of us wanted different meals. I was a vegetarian, so she had to cook vegetarian stuff. It's it's a lot. So it definitely gave her such a massive confidence boost to to be able to do it her own and and have that fulfillment again.
SPEAKER_01:Would you recommend our e-learning module, everything you do for me, you take from me, to other carers?
SPEAKER_00:I would definitely recommend the e-learning module to other carers. The the I guess the concept itself is so powerful because it challenges us to rethink the way we provide care. We all get the same 24 hours, but I think carers only get about three hours in a day. It's it's a lot, it's a lot of work. But I think empowering them to maintain their independence and dignity is such a valuable um resource that we can provide as carers.
SPEAKER_01:So, how was the whole process beneficial to you as well?
SPEAKER_00:It was beneficial to me because it taught me that being a carer is not just about doing, it's about empowering by encouraging my mum to do as much as she can by herself. I saw her grow stronger, more confident, and more in control of her own life. That change was was very deeply rewarding to witness and gave me a sense of pride knowing I was supporting her in the right way. Not just supporting her in the easiest way, but on a personal level, it also helped me find balance in my role as a carer and a daughter. When I stopped trying to do everything, I felt less overwhelmed and more able to focus on areas of where my help was truly needed rather than doing everything. And it also allowed me to preserve my own well-being. It is so important in the caregiving journey to look after your own well-being. I've always been a daughter, but my mum and I are so close and I always get so emotional talking about her because she's so strong and so yet, incredible woman. But now I get to see it from the outside where she's able, she's living her own life. Very proud of her.
SPEAKER_01:I so appreciated that you reflected there on that when you empowered your mum, it also changed what you needed to do and allowed the time for you to simply be her daughter. That is so beautiful. It's so important.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, look, one of the most important things I'd like to share with support workers or allied health professionals, people working in um the healthcare caring space is that this approach is not just about providing care, it's about empowering the person you're supporting to maintain their dignity, independence. When we step in and do everything for someone, even with the best intentions, we risk unintentionally taking away their ability to feel capable and in control of their own life. This approach reminds us to pause and ask, what can this person actually do for themselves? And then we can support them in those areas rather than just taking over. It's about working with the client, not just for them, um, and recognizing their strengths. Rather than I guess focusing on their limitations, I think it's a very strength-based approach and we're all trying to think more person-centered and strength-based, whereas this is this is what strength-based approach is. It's we're focusing on what they can do and working with that.
SPEAKER_01:Fantastic. And I think uh an important message there as well is that it can be used and followed by anyone. It's not just for health professionals, anybody can use this. And you've been a great example of that through your story today. What would you tell other people about the value of caring for someone? And you know, whether that's a paid job or to support someone who needs the care, family member or a friend.
SPEAKER_00:You can be a carer for anyone. It could be just someone that needs that support. And like you said, a neighbor, a friend, a relative of some sort, but caring for someone, whether it's paid or to support a loved one, is both challenging and deeply rewarding. I've said before, I work for Carers WA, I have the privilege of supporting carers navigating life's challenges. And I see the incredible impact carers make every single day. The true value of caring lies in the connections you build and the difference you make in someone's life, not just by meeting their physical needs, but empowering them to live with dignity and independence. I guess caring teaches you patience and empathy and gratitude, and it helps you grow as a person. Me thinking back when I was 18 or 19, and I feel like anyone who knows me back then are gonna laugh when they listen to this. I am a completely different person. And I think a lot of people, when they are in their teens, are different. I'm 32 now. I I completely changed as a person. And for paycarers, it's a fulfilling career where you can create meaningful change in someone's life. And there's so many pathways. If you want to go into a different area, you've always got those skills and uh or the transferable skills that lead into other workforces. If you think that it's not right for you, you've got so many things there for you. But for those supporting a loved one, it's an expression of love and commitment that has a lasting impact. I would recommend it to everyone. I think it gives us a really good soul connection, if you will. It does.
SPEAKER_01:I would completely agree with you on all of those points. It's a very special, special thing. What would you say to people who may be considering working in the aged care sector?
SPEAKER_00:Look, working in the aged care sector is an incredibly meaningful and rewarding career. I've I've worked in the aged care sector for over 10 years, going from things from support work to nursing to management to now what I do now with unpaid carers. It's not just about providing physical support, it's about building relationships. Listening to life stories, if you sit down with someone who has lived a long life, can listen to the most incredible stories, and helping older people living with dignity or live with dignity, independence, and joy is so rewarding in itself.
SPEAKER_01:It's a real privilege, isn't it, to be able to um ask the questions and hear the stories, you know, sort of what are their life lessons? I'll never forget the first um person who was over the age of 100 that I met working in the industry. And I just had to ask, what's your secret? And she simply said to me, Don't sweat the small stuff, love. Yeah. I took that one on and thought, I love it, I love it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Yeah, I I remember meeting my first client as a support worker when I was in my early 20s, and they were 104. And I was shocked. I was like, this is they've lived through wars. They've done so much with their life, and it's just it's honestly incredible. And I I love to talk, I love to to to find people's backstories and we're comfortable, but it's I love talking to people. So that's that's one of the most rewarding things is you learn people's life stories.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely. Fantastic. Using this approach is about appreciating the health and well-being benefits of doing those daily tasks. There's so much strong scientific evidence that active older adults have more good days and live longer and more independently at home, which is what we're all about. Thank you, Amy Pearl, for sharing your experience and learnings with us today. Um, so we've got the e learning module available on this topic for anyone who's interested, or go to our website at keepaple.com.au for this and lots more free information.
