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Coffee and Coaching
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Coffee and Coaching
EP.23: How to Communicate Better at Work
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Communication expert and educator Seth Frei joins coach Karol Figueroa to explore why great communication isn't measured by what you say, but by what the other person actually understands.
Together, they unpack why stress makes us communicate more selfishly, how to become audience-centered instead of self-centered, and why small changes in timing, tone, and delivery can completely transform the outcome of difficult conversations. Seth also shares a simple framework for improving workplace communication by aligning the message sent with the message received.
Whether you're leading a team, presenting ideas, or navigating difficult conversations, this episode will help you communicate with greater clarity, intention, and impact.
Connect with today’s guest, Seth Frei
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sethfrei/
Meet your host: Karol Figueroa
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karolfigueroa/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karol.figueroa.tate/
Need support at work? HIK Trainings can help.
Website: https://www.hiktrainings.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/hiktrainings/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hiktrainings
Intro
SPEAKER_01And I don't think you can be an effective leader without being an effective communicator.
SPEAKER_03I say a lot that 90% of communication happens before you even open your mouth. And there's a lot of what you're saying physically with your message that could impact the receiver.
SPEAKER_01When we talk about effective communication, it's focused on the audience. It's focused on the other person more so than it's focused on you. But I think stress really flips that script and we start to focus inward a lot more.
SPEAKER_03If what everyone says can create a reaction out of you, the reaction that they want, then anyone can control you. Hello everyone and welcome to Coffee and Coaching. I am the season's host, Carol Figueroa. Today we are joined by an incredible coach that he has coached me personally. His name is Seth Frey, and he's a communication expert, educator, and author. And I call him the true scandal of communication in business. We are diving into some hidden mechanics of how we connect the words and we talk about our communication and how 93% of our communication is actually nonverbal. I'm like, whoa, that is mind-blowing. I had my stats wrong. Seth had them right. So grab your coffee, and if you're struggling with the way you're coming across, it's not landing, or someone has to ask you to be more outspoken, or someone has to ask you to talk less. Today is the day for us to talk to the amazing Seth. So let's go, whether it's coffee or tea, and let's dive in. Seth's work focuses on
Linking Leadership and Effective Expression
SPEAKER_03organizational success and especially when we talk about the way employees communicate. And I'm in the midst of, as you know, Seth, writing uh my first leadership book. And I talk a lot about how communications can break or kill your s your your career path if you're not prepared to handle some of the tough conversations and also manage our emotions. You know, when we work.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. One of the it's interesting, one of the um courses that I've taught before at the university that I work at, we've taught a course on leadership and communication. Because, and you know, you put them both in the the title of the course because I I really think that they go hand in hand. I don't think you can be an effective leader without being an effective communicator. I don't yeah, they they really do go hand in hand.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I I I have, I don't think I can say like every every great leader I have in mind, which I'm actually in communication with them right now because they're help they're helping, giving us some testimonies for the book. Uh a lot of them are amazing communicators. And and even one of them, who's like someone I admire, I met him through him giving me tough feedback and telling me, like basically, you're messing up. But he did it in a way that stayed with me, in a way that I changed what I was doing. I changed who I was, and he became one of my best friends and mentors for the rest of my life. But the way he said he said that feedback could have set me up for complete breakdown, disengagement, and just leave and never ever again work.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03But he did it in a way that it made me feel the weight of the responsibility that I carry in that interaction. And it just changed, just changed my career forever.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And I think that says something too about how you communicate a message. We we talk about this all the time when I'm either coaching clients or working with students. It's all about how you say it, right? You can use the same exact words multiple different ways, and they can mean multiple different things. And he shared that message in a way that was empowering and it lifted you up and it sort of prodded you on, it sounds like. But you're right, it could have torn you down if he if he said it in a slightly different way.
SPEAKER_03It should have it sure did. Um, let's let's go let's go right into it because this is this is a crucial uh part. We are experiencing burnouts in employees, professionals, just humans living today in in an all-time high.
Communication Under Stress
SPEAKER_03So when professionals are under stress, in your professional opinion, how does their communication typically change?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think that's a great question. I I think a number of things come to mind. I think one of them is communication may start to become more rushed. I think we start to rush through messages. We maybe, we maybe spend a little bit less time focused on how we send that message. Like we we just mentioned, if if you if you're really intentional about how you send the message and the way that you want it to come across to the receiver, it's it's probably gonna be more effective. But when we start to become under more, when we come under more stress, there's that chance that we're not gonna be as focused in on how we're sending the message. There's gonna be a chance that we're not as tuned into the audience, the person on the other side. We may not be thinking about them quite as much if we're if we're under stress or we're trying to, whether it's stress related to hitting a deadline or stress related to just larger, you know, burnout and workplace stress. I I think we tend to focus a little bit more inward when we get to those moments, those stressful moments, as opposed to focusing outward. And I I really think that when we talk about effective communication, it's focused on the audience, it's focused on the other person more so than it's focused on on you. But I think stress really flips that script and we start to focus inward a lot more.
SPEAKER_03I love that you said that because I
Why "Sending an Email" Does Not Equal Communicating
SPEAKER_03we we just went through a training uh with some leaders here in the Maryland area, about 30 leaders, uh G Parks, which is an amazing organization. I actually enjoyed working with. And we talked about effective communication. We had this leader that she was talking about. I sent the same email every month. And I don't know why this person that is receiving this email is not reading it. Uh shout out to her. She's if she's listening to this, she's like, Carol, you brought it up on the on the podcast. But I had to bring it up because I I asked her, Do you believe you're communicating effectively? And her answer was like, Yeah, I'm sending the same email every month. And the question was on effective communication, which leads me to your question. Because I think effective communication means different things for different people. I asked her, Do you believe you're communicating effectively? And she said yes. And I said, It's what you need to get done by getting done. And she said no. And I'm like, then it's not effective communication. Effective communication is more about the receiver, the way the person wants to receive that information in order for you at work to be able to get the thing that you're trying to get done, done.
SPEAKER_01Exactly.
SPEAKER_03And it completely changed her perspective. So what is effective communication to you?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think uh
The Communication Equation
SPEAKER_01effective communication to me is when the message sent by by you as the sender is the same as the message received. It it they're they're equal. I mean, if you think about it almost as an equation, right? If if what you are sending and what you're trying to send is received by by that receiver, by that listener in the way that you intend, that to me is effective. We we've effectively communicated to them. And sometimes we need to do that in a there's all sorts of different ways. We can vary our tone, we can vary the urgency, we can vary a lot of different factors in it, but ultimately I think it comes down to that. There has to be parity between what you're sending and what they're receiving. If we think of it as an equation and that's not equal between the two, that becomes then, of course, in ineffective communication. So I that's I think very simply that's what it comes down to for me.
SPEAKER_03I love that. And I have to say, like for me, I think that's that's a great equation. If what you're saying and what is being received is not the same, then as the sender, it's your responsibility to ask again, like, hey, did that land at what did you understood for what I said? Did you we do disc models here a lot? So you know, I'm a D, which you probably know we're ready. But like there's not a lot of sugar coating involved. And I think that's what we're friends, because you like yeah, you receive it very well. Um I realize some people need a little bit more cushioning before I say something, and also sometimes a smile goes a long way. Like if I, you know, when when you're like saying something like this versus when you're like smiling, like we I said this to a client and I I wanted to check with you on your coaching how you do this, but I say a lot that
The Overwhelming Power of Nonverbal Cues and Vocal Tone
SPEAKER_0390% of communication happens before you even open your mouth, right? Like there's a lot of what you're saying physically with your message that could impact the receiver.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think the the official number I've heard on it is 93% is non-verbal. Oh, there you go. So you're right, you're right on, Carol. You're you had that you had that stat down.
SPEAKER_03There you go.
SPEAKER_01I think it's 93% of what you say is through facial expressions, through tone. Um it's not actually the words that you're using, but it's how you're using them.
SPEAKER_03That that 93% is And there's a there's a book called This How You Say It. And I'm like, whoever came up with that book title is a genius. Because it's like it's how you say it is such an important piece. So I have a question for you.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Let's talk about misunderstandings, uh, intention. What happens a lot when stakes are high, burnout is high, we are worn out, right? Do you believe that an environment can affect your communication style? Where you're in can affect your communication style, or it's all internal.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I think the environment absolutely plays a role in in what you're communicating and how you're communicating. And I think as the as you're developing a message, you want to be thinking about that environment that it's going to be most effective. You know, going back to what we just talked about, an effective message has to be the same between the sender and the receiver. Thinking about a lot of environmental factors. I think when we think about stress and tension and um some challenges between maybe the the person sending and receiving a message, I think we need to consider when
Timing and Mediums: Why You Never Send a Critical Message at 4:00 PM on Friday
SPEAKER_01when's the best time to communicate that message. I I think there's certain messages that at work that it might be better to communicate that in the morning or or earlier on in the week. You even think about the the flow of your week. I mean, you're you don't want to communicate your most important message at 4 p.m. on a Friday afternoon. That's not going to land.
SPEAKER_03We are gone.
SPEAKER_01No, or out or checked out or done. But if you send that same message that's important at 10 a.m. on a Monday morning or Tuesday morning, there's going to be a lot more reception to it. So I think about a number of things in terms of those external factors. I I always encourage people too to think about what's the best medium that we for for the particular message that we're sending. I think um we we have so many tools. We have more tools today available to send a message than we've ever had before. And I think we want to take advantage of those tools, but we also don't want to rely too heavily on the tool as as the as the form. I I don't want to get into the point where it's, you know, every every message has to be sent in uh this form because this is the uh this is the only thing that we use at work. Well, maybe there's maybe there is some time that a a face-to-face message going up a floor or two and talking to your colleague is gonna be more effective than sending them that quick team quick teams or slack message. When when we go back to your first question about tension here, it's all these factors and it's putting all of these factors into play. And I think that you're you're not gonna be perfect the first time. It's not you're not gonna land the plane exactly the way you want it every time, but that that's where you keep learning. And that I think the the beauty of communication is it's it's a continual learning process. It's not something that it's a one and done. I'm learning that, you know, I learn every single day and try to become a little bit better every single day in what I'm doing. And uh by no means am I perfect, but I think that's uh that's always my goal is to try to continue to polish up in one area and be a little more focused or tuned into one area to try to try to be a little bit better.
SPEAKER_00Before we continue, a quick shout out to today's sponsor, HIK Trainings. If you're ever wanting to level up your leadership skills or bring real connection back to your remote team, check out HIK Trainings.com.
SPEAKER_02Your company said, start using AI. And sure, your team knows how to plug it into an email. But let's be honest, are they actually using it to increase productivity? Or are they just tapping into 1% of what it could do and calling it a win? That's where your role in AI comes in. A 90-minute live HIK training session built around your team's real workflows. Whether you're in HR, ops, UX, or marketing, we teach AI in the context of your actual job, not just theory or hype. No demos, no generic slides, just role-specific tools, templates, and strategies your team can use immediately. And for teams who want even more, add 30 days of HI Coach GTP for AI-powered coaching that evolves with your work. They told you to use AI. We show you how.
SPEAKER_00And we're back. You're listening to Coffee and Coaching, where we blend real conversations with real growth. Let's jump in.
SPEAKER_03I love that. And I think like I do relate communication to leadership and to parenting. And I want to encourage anybody that has a question, please feel free to put uh your question in the comments because Seth and I will answer at the end of this of this of this live. But I think parenting, leadership, and communication is one of those things that you can never get you, you you can never stop upgrading. You can never stop becoming better and being better and striving for being better. There's not a point where you're like, um, there's a video game called Sims, and I'm a I'm an Abbott Sims player forever. And I have this thing where it's like you reach level 10 of parenting, you can actually learn the parenting skill. There's never a level 10 in parenting, there's never a level 10 in leadership, there's never a level 10 in communication. Like you constantly continue to get better because your brain constantly, continuously evolves and changes, and you need to learn how to communicate and and how do you present yourself in that way. And I think that that's very important. I do want to talk a little bit about that tension and some of the methods that we use, the HIK method, where we talk about pass and release. And when especially for me, like I did the Daniel Goldman's emotional intelligence assessment like 15 years ago. My social regulation, my social awareness and my self-awareness was really high. My self-regulation was like 55. I'm like, like, I know that when I took this assessment, someone was like, what is happening?
The Power of the Receiver
SPEAKER_03And I had a leader, Dan Gonzalez actually, that said to me once, if what everyone says can create a reaction out of you, the reaction that they want, then anyone can control you. And I think that was so powerful because it changed my a bit my my response and what I was feeling in the moment. So when I receive a message, which this happens to a lot of people in corporate, not the way that you expect to receive it, I still can choose how I react. I still can choose how I respond. And as the receiver, I can also change the way the information is being delivered. So I wanted to ask you about your perception on that power that the receiver had. Because a lot of people believe that only the sender has the power to change the conversation. So I want your take on what power does this receiver have.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I I think that's a great question. And I I think as you think about the that receiver, there's what we call the feedback loop. And that we've been talking about communication almost being one way to this point, but there there is a lot of feedback that happens from that receiver. It's it's feedback in terms of how they're responding with their nonverbals. We we talked about nonverbal communication earlier. Their nonverbal response in the moment, as you're sharing information with them, that's giving information back to the receiver or sorry, the sender real time immediately. They're they're they're getting that information back. And I I think that you, as someone who's receiving information, you you absolutely have power. There's some control that you may have over your facial expressions. They're there are those micro expressions that you sometimes will make without even really thinking about it. So I think as the receiver, you definitely have some control over an aspect of your nonverbals. And then of course you have an aspect over how you respond and what you say. And you can a lot of times choose to take a conversation in multiple directions based on based on your response. So I I agree with you that a lot of times we talk about the power being in the the sender of the communication, the person that's initiating that message.
SPEAKER_03And there's more.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think there is some risk, there is power in in your response, and you can choose how to respond. I I think you know, you bring up parenting, and I I've got a few kids as well. And we this is something we've talked about at you and I is there's um you know, there's there's power in in how you respond to your kids. There's multiple ways that you could respond to them when they ask for something or when they're you know when something's when something's going wrong. And I think that's that's a very tangible, um, tangible practice of that is thinking about, yeah, I could respond this way, I could respond this way, I could respond this way. And then what's what's the reaction that I'll get based on that response? So it's it's always thinking sort of the next step ahead to see, all right, what's the response gonna be if I choose to respond in this way? And I think the same thing's true in work and life. We see it in all of our interactions and in all our communication interactions.
SPEAKER_03And we have uh, we're gonna have an episode with uh Mindy, our parenting coach, and we're gonna talk a lot about communication. I will tell you as a mom, like my kids are constant work for me on communication. Like especially when you're negotiating with a three-year-old, things become like, what am I, what are we doing here? Uh and it just is especially when you're at the point where you're the most exhausted at the end of the day, you came home, you've been talking to people, you're a pen, you have all this stuff. So, with that, I want to ask you a question about some of the practical ways professionals can improve their communication and while staying intentional.
SPEAKER_01I think that's great.
Audience Mapping
SPEAKER_01I think the number one thing, and and really for me, the central message that I share when I'm talking with students, people that I'm coaching that are that are in business, people that have been in business for a few years, or people that have are 30 years into their career, the number one thing is focus on that audience, focus on that other person. And this applies whether you're talking about a one-on-one interaction, whether you're talking about a small group interaction, or you're talking about a larger presentation that you're giving in front of a larger audience. It's thinking about who is that person or people that are going to be receiving that message, and how can I best mold and shape both the words and how I use those words to be effective in communicating what I want to share with them. So it all comes down to the audience. And specifically, if we're talking about, say, a more formal presentation or something that you're asked to put together, start with that audience. I I always tell those that I coach, I say, create a create a document if you're asked to give a presentation where at the very top you define who is that audience? Who is it that I am speaking to? Spend three or four minutes just writing out what do I know about them. Maybe it's not very much, and maybe I need to do a little research, or maybe it's quite a bit. And I think, okay, I'm gonna have this type of person in the audience or this group of people. Um, and if it becomes a really large audience, focus on those key decision holders, those key decision makers that are within the audience so you can identify and clear clarify who those people are. So that's that's really the first thing that I always start with. And then the second thing in that document is I say, put down your objective. What do you want the audience to get out of that interaction, that presentation? At the end of the presentation, if the audience understands, knows, can demonstrate X, what is it that's gonna make it successful? So I always think that's really helpful on the more polished, or not polished, but the more uh prepared presentations for larger groups. But I think the same applies when you're in those more informal settings, is just keeping that that individual in mind in terms of how are they gonna respond? What is my past history with that person so that I can hopefully shape a message that I I think is going to be to resonate most with them and they'll most likely understand. So I really think it all comes down to that audience as as the top tip. But then there's a few other pieces that go out from that. I think it's it's thinking about tone and nonverbal uh communication and your your nonverbal messages. It's thinking about do I have the right words? Have I put the right words together uh that are going to be effective for this audience? I know you said you're working on a book right now, and I think that's part of the, you know, that's part of the challenge there is your audience could be really broad. So how do you find words that are going to hopefully speak to uh that maybe broader audience than if you were speaking one-on-one with a person because sometimes you don't necessarily know that audience when you're yeah when you're writing a book. So anyway, just a couple thoughts there. It all comes down to the audience, though. That would be the that would be my one takeaway from this. If if you had one thing, is is how can you better consider the audience in those messages that you're sending?
SPEAKER_03I love that audience mopping exercise. Um, especially because we talk about the medium matters where you do it. When I when I'm coaching a client, I'm always like, Do you have to say it in a live meeting? Is this a conversation that will happen in front of 10 other people or is this a one-on-one conversation? And most of the time it's a one-on-one conversation. I think technology has also messes up a little bit because we typically we typically are used to just sending a message in teams and like my husband, he's really good like in person, and I'm an introvert by nature. He's not. So I'm like, I was about to send a message of something that was crucial, and I'm like immediately going to text the person. And he was he will stop me and say, Hey, that's a phone call. And I'm like, Yeah. As an introvert, I'm like, I'm gonna have to get now. If they ask me, you want to get another with Seth on the ball, I'm like, Yeah, call Seth, right? Like it changes drastically, you know. So, like for me, it's something that I constantly ask, it's like the medium, and then when you talk about the audience mapping, I think it's so important. I love that you talk about the history with that person, especially when we are in the times that we are in. And a lot of people are being asked to get back into the office, and there's some history sometimes that you have with a particular person, but I will tell you this very few times someone genuinely wants to not do the best thing for the company or the best. For the job that you're right. I I would say it's very unlikely. So sometimes when we take ourselves out of the equation and we make it about the work, we make it about the business. It's important also for people to get to know where you're coming from and what you're trying to do. And if there's a relationship that needs to be amended in order for the communication to be better, separate the business from that situation and make sure that you are connecting with that person offline, not necessarily just a work. It could be a coffee, it could be a lunch. And if you're not there yet, even a quick one-on-one where you decide. There's been times where I do remember in my corporate career, we're like, look, we're different people. We don't like the way we work, but this still needs to get done. So let's remove this, right? I'm typically a fast worker, someone else is a very detail-oriented worker, and that's what we teach is like, hey, I need you, right? Because I am too fast working, you're very detail-oriented, and I need what you bring to the table. It's not about anything else other than that. And I think that just drives a different conversation. I do want to bring something up that I don't think I don't know if I told you I was gonna do it, but you have been one of the most instrument instrumental uh coaches in my professional career because I remember
Owning the Accent
SPEAKER_03when I was doing the communication coaching, I used to believe, and I received this feedback from a leader that was not very nice, but they were like, your accent will get in the way of you continuously growing in your career. And I was like, wow, I you know, I was born in the Dominican Republic, raised in Puerto Rico. I speak more like Bad Bunny than probably, you know, anybody else in the work environment. I understood the whole Super Bowl.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03But I want to say you were one of the coaches that when I came to you to help with how I communicate and I talked to you about my accent. Do you remember what you said to me?
SPEAKER_01I would guess, this was a while a little while ago, but I would guess that I probably said something along the lines of, I want you to be who you feel comfortable being at work. I I don't think that you want you need to make a major shift in one direction. I do think, again, we're thinking about the audience, we're thinking about the people that we're interacting with, and there might be some slight adjustments that you can make. I know when I communicate with people um that have different uh different backgrounds or different accents or English isn't their first language, there might be some slight modifications I'll make to the way that I I speak with them. But I also don't want it to come across in in a demeaning way, like I'm, you know, sort of lowering my speed to a a place that's uh that's you know much slower than it has to be. But I I will make some slight modifications. That would be my guess of what I said, but what did I actually say?
SPEAKER_03You it's so funny because you were one, you you basically said to me, I have no problem understanding you, and I understand you just fine. So that like removed that. And then you made it about you adjusting the way you listen to me, and you made it about the way you speak in order for someone with a second language. And for the first time, I realized in that moment that my communication was as much about the receiver as me. And from that moment on, I don't know if you I don't think you did this on purpose. And I say this to anybody that has English as a second language in a place like America that is so diverse. I say what I'm gonna say, and if the person doesn't understand it, they can stop me and then interrupt me and I'll say it again differently. But in that moment, I completely empower myself to just say it the way I mean to say it. And you also made it seem like I don't want you to have to show up as not authentically yourself, and I think your accent's pretty cool, right? And I'm like, oh, it is like and I just I want to say that because sometimes we believe communication has to be the has to be so diminished to the point that we become corporate people. I still have an accent, I'm still unprofessional, I still show up as my authentic self. And my directness had nothing to do with my accent, right? I can still use my accent, but 93%, oh no, I know it's 93%, 93% of my communication is what is non-verbal. And I made sure that whatever I say, I do it in an inviting way to allow that. But I want to give you kudos because this is how true leaders show up and true coaches show up for people and change their lives in a positive manner, because I was out here trying to become something that I was not, and you encouraged me to know there is a way to do it, and you don't have to eliminate so much of yourself in order to do that. You're an amazing human, that's what we're friends. But that moment was so, so important in my career, in my life, and now I have a podcast where everybody can hear my accent. So you know that it was a positive. I love it.
SPEAKER_01I love it. Nona, I think you're you're exactly right. And so it's good. I remembered it about in the same way that I shared it. So that that's a good thing. But I think to, you know, it's yeah, you you don't need to make a major adjustment, but also like we talked about, be paying attention to that other person. If you notice some of those cues that, like maybe they're not understanding me, maybe I'm speaking too fast, maybe my accent is a little bit harder for them to understand. You see some of those cues of maybe confusion or misunderstanding, or you ask a follow-up question and you say, Is there any is that making sense to you? Is there any questions that you've got about that? And they they do have some follow-up questions. I think that that gives you a little cue on all right, maybe I can make a slight adjustment for this particular person. So I I think that that's what exactly what it comes down to is I think no need to make a major adjustment, but be paying attention for some of those cues as well. And then hopefully on the listening end, the receiver end, if you aren't understanding something, ask about it and and have an open conversation about that as well.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I love I I absolutely love that. And for me, at least, I'll tell you, I think this are important. And I
The Pause and Release Method
SPEAKER_03talked a little bit about the pause and release method, and I want to talk a little because I didn't go deep into it. But pause and release is basically taking a pause on an interaction or something that happened, figuring out how it triggered you if it did, and taking a pause, which means don't send the email, wait till the next day. Or in that moment, you can say, Hey, I'm still processing that information. Can I get back to you? Or it's just taking a minute to being like, Yeah, okay, let's let's reconnect on that to allow yourself to regulate and then figure out what is the feeling that is coming up for you right in the middle of that pause of am I feeling what kind of feelings I'm bringing, and then you trying to figure out the root cause. And the release is just you going. I mean, for me, I do look at comedy because laughter is the best brain to hack your brain. I'm like, I look into comedy, I talk to someone I love, I try, I don't vent at work, I vent with my friends outside of work, and like it just allows me to kind of recenter myself before I go back, and then I I recenter that into what's the work? What's the work that is kind of come out of this, not what happened in that interaction, refocus on the actual work, which I think it's important. Okay, Seth, I I have I can talk to you forever. What is the takeaway for you today? If you have to say anything to professionals that are having a hard time communicating in an environment and are trying for their message to land, what will be the one takeaway you have for?
SPEAKER_01Well, I think you know what I'm gonna say. I mean, we've talked about this a few times today.
The Audience-Centered Path
SPEAKER_01We've we've talked about, you know, think about that other person. If you're having a hard time with the message landing, think about how you can adjust. It's probably don't assume that it's them. Think about yourself and how you can how you can make some adjustments toward that other person. If if you're having uh an issue with maybe your your message with your with your manager or with uh some uh a coworker isn't landing, think about what it is about them that's maybe making that difficult. That audience that you're that you're speaking to, that audience of one in this case. What is it that's maybe making it difficult? Maybe um they have had a especially stressful week and you're bringing them this message on a Friday afternoon, like we talked about, and and then you leave it and you're like, why did they not understand? Well, maybe they've had a lot of other things that have piled up. So it's thinking a little bit about all right, how could I time this better or or maybe reapproach this next week when we get back to work to say, hey, this is really still bothering me and I really want to talk through this. So I I think it's thinking about um thinking about that other person as much as possible and thinking about how can I make some adjustments in the way that I communicate or the the the message that I'm trying to send so that it it hopefully lands as best as possible. You can't control every aspect of them, absolutely not. I'm not saying suggesting that, but what you can control is um is thinking through some of the some of what you know of that other individual and and what's going on environment is situationally, environmentally, and based on on your past interactions with them. So I think ultimately it's that audience-centered approach being being focused on the audience, whether it is an audience of one to an audience of many. Uh I think that's ultimately the communication takeaway.
SPEAKER_03This was an incredible conversation, and we have spent so much time just focusing on some of the wrong things when it comes to communication. And I hope that after today's conversation with Seth, you see how communication is not about being a perfect corporate robot. It's about making sure that your communication is landing. It's about making sure that you are presenting your case and your knowledge accordingly in a way that you can get the result that you want. It is not about an accent, it's not about giving your authentic self. It is not about making people feel comfortable with you. Of course, there's the current rules, and everybody teaches a culture, but it doesn't mean that within those lines, you cannot be yourself. And that's a thank you to my dear friend and former coach, Seth. And I'm so glad that I was able to bring this conversation in such an important topic because about regulating and dealing with burnout communication. Sometimes it's the thing that gets lost first because we are not regulated. So it's truly important that as we show up after being burnout or dealing with burnout communication. It's about how we outerly deal with it in a way that doesn't end up affecting our livelihood even more. Hope this episode helped you. Like it has helped me every time I talk to Seth. Talk soon. See you on the next episode.
