Being brave and stepping into safety , how to shift your life

Heather Angell work talks about what shaped her life and work and draws on over 17 years of experience in leadership, mentoring, and coaching. Heather is trained in somatic work, trauma-informed coaching, energy therapy, life coaching and Clear Therapy. Helping people feel safe enough to trust themselves again.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Lu Kylie Shop, where comment meets transformation. Lu Kylie is a spiritual line therapist, a social worker with 20 years of experience, a certified therapist, a coupled life coach, a manifestation expert, a yoga teacher, a craft motherfucking. After overcoming purple coffee, Facebook, a full relationship, overcoming a single power, blue therapy, powerful combination of therapy and manifestation. Now it's dedicated to helping thousands of people create a life data. You will have to get a power pathway. With two decades of experience, blue blend therapy, hypnotherapy, and manifestation to show you that anything is possible when you reconnect with your inner power. Get ready to tap into your full potential because transformation starts right here.

SPEAKER_03 0:56

Hello and welcome to the Spiritually Aligned Therapist Podcast. In today's show, I welcome Heather Angel, who is a coach. Hi Heather, would you like to introduce yourself today and tell the listeners what you do?

SPEAKER_01 1:16

Hi, thank you so much for having me. I um I work with business owners and executives. I'm a strategic and therapeutic coach, so I blend therapeutic modalities and traditional sort of business and life coaching.

SPEAKER_03 1:33

That's amazing, thank you. And I suppose my, you know, when we invite um people on, or when I invite people onto the podcast, I'm really interested to hear where they started and you know a bit about your story really, um, and women's stories. So I wondered if you could tell us a bit more about your work and how you got interested in sort of this area of work and sort of how you specialise, perhaps chose to specialise in it.

SPEAKER_01 2:04

Yeah, sure. So it was, I mean, my work has evolved a lot. I've been doing this since 2016, and I was actually a bank manager working in corporate, very successful bank manager, um, looking after 30 plus staff over four different locations. And when I got made redundant from that, I was like, right, I'm gonna set up a business, which ironically that was 2015. I set up a wedding planning company, which was completely different, um, but I loved it, and then within a year, I hired my first life coach because I had two kids under the age of five at this point and running a business. So I hired a coach to help me through, and then after one session with Harold, I was like, oh my goodness, this is what I want to do. Like I I love my wedding business, but coaching would be amazing. I'd love to help people like this. So I retrained as a coach. I ran my wedding business and my coaching business alongside each other with two kids. Um, and then in 2018, sold the wedding planning company and went all in on the coaching work, which has been I've never looked back, it's been the best decision. And I in sort of 2020, after obviously, we had the pandemic then, and I realised my clients needed a bit more than just sort of coaching, they they needed sort of more therapeutic help. So I retrained in a few different modalities and sort of mental health training so that I could help people on a bit of a deeper level, and that's what I've been doing ever since.

SPEAKER_03 3:32

And what what sort of um you know issues do you support clients with? Um Heather, so what what kinds of things are you kind of finding that clients are coming to you with? And are they mostly women or is it sort of a mixture of clients?

SPEAKER_01 3:54

I would say right now it's a well, the fact is right now 80% of my client base are men, which is a complete turnaround to where I started. I certainly worked with far more women at the beginning, um, but I work with mainly business owners and executives who are already sort of generally pretty successful on paper. They've ticked all the life boxes of things that they wanted to achieve, and they are looking for like what's next. They don't really necessarily feel like they're particularly fulfilled. Um, but then on the other side of things, I work with such a diverse range of people. I work with a charity as well, who um I partner up with to help people that are struggling with their mental well-being. So it can really be that they are going through relationship challenges or they've got to that stage in life where they're sort of thinking there's got to be more to this, they just feel a bit flat. Um, but also people who have had past trauma, I am trauma-informed and able to, with the different modalities I use, help people process past traumas as well. So it's a real mixed bag, it's um a very eclectic mix of uh challenges that I help people with.

SPEAKER_03 5:04

And I I was wondering when you mentioned there about kind of the different businesses you know you had with with the wedding business as well in the past. What was kind of um how was managing, I suppose, young children and you know, working and also running a business, all of these things, how did you kind of help yourself to kind of get through that? What was that like for you at that time?

SPEAKER_01 5:33

I drank a lot of coffee. I think back then was I look back and I just think, my gosh, why did I even do that? Why did I not just take redundancy and enjoy a year maybe of just being mum with two children? Um, but that's just not how I'm wired. I'm very ambitious and very career-driven, always have been. So back then I just to be honest, having two kids is full-on and you know, incredibly beautiful. And I'm very lucky to have my children, but I've always been very career-minded and very business-minded. So having a business, I would work on the business in the evening whenever I could. Um, and it was a joy for me because it allowed my brain to do something other than playing puzzles or doing park trips or all the sort of you know, washing up and domestic stuff. Um, I mean, back then I was married as well, so I did have uh my husband around. So financially there wasn't a huge amount of pressure on me to make a load of money with the business that every all the money I made allowed us to have a nice lifestyle, but I didn't have to worry about paying mortgage payments and things like that as well. So as the business progressed, and certainly once I sold the wedding business, the children, as the children got older, my business has evolved. I've been able to pour more energy into it. But it was definitely, I mean, a crazy juggle most of the time when they were really little. It's definitely easier now that they're both at secondary school.

SPEAKER_03 7:02

Yeah, and it can be, like you said, such a um juggle with um trying to kind of you know think about all of those things all at once, really. A lot of the women that I work with, you know, are are kind of battling with all these different like priorities and things. So it can be really difficult to kind of feel um that you're winning, you know, in in these areas. So, you know, that's sometimes women kind of give themselves almost like a hard time about that as well. Sometimes I'm wondering, Heather, about um, you know, I think we all use part of our lived experiences, don't we, as as particularly as women, to kind of um empower us really or help us or guide us and kind of you know, we're much more kind of like mission service-led kind of driven. You know, we have to be sometimes it feels quite passionate about something to really kind of um put our wholesal into it, and that's what kind of um drives. I think when you mentioned about you know having that drive, and and you know, that's the bit that kind of really nurtured you as well. Um, so I was wondering what it was about your own uh life, if you don't mind sharing a little bit about what kind of helped you in terms of your own lived experience, you know, in your in your personal situation, um, that helped you sort of push you forward really and motivate you.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

I mean, I think there's sort of two two parts of the answer to that one. So back then, when I was sort of setting up both businesses and um the kids were very young, it was on reflection, it was really just that I didn't feel like I had value unless I was bringing in an income. I'd always been the main income earner in my marriage until we had children. Um, so I'd always been that provider, that professional, and I'd very much grown up as a millennial being told as a woman, you can have it all, um, which really just translates in you end up doing it all. You're supposed to, you know, have the career and the children and you know, the perfect figure and the perfect life and everything. It was it was a lot of pressure. I look back now and I think it wasn't a healthy drive that was pushing me forward, but I did have ambition and drive, and that's what that's what kind of fueled me. Um, but on the flip side to that, that's also what burnt me out. Um, it got to 2019 and my marriage broke down. And since then I've really needed to approach everything very, very differently. I hit a wall definitely in 2021, had a very dark time myself. The divorce had finalised, we'd moved house. I had that realization that I was a single mum running a business with two kids. Um, and I'm the primary carer for the children. I have them pretty much 90% of the time. And I was like, oh my goodness, all of a sudden, this business isn't this nice thing I get to pour my energy into, and it's this passion project. And, you know, like you said, that sort of heart-led creative venture. This was something that needed to sustain me and my family somehow. So um didn't deal with that pressure too well, uh, struggled with my mental health for a little while, but then sort of mid-2021, got some help from a homeopathic um therapist. She was fabulous, and have rebuilt my life and my business in a different way that actually works for me as a woman. Um, sort of touching on your point on how we we work slightly differently, I have had to absolutely prioritize um, for lack of a better term, self-care. I am I'm in bed by half past nine, I make sure I take care of my nutrition, I go to the gym religiously, I have to take care of myself first and foremost, because if if without me, everything else crumbles, the family crumbles, the business crumbles. So self-care for me has become, it's not this thing I do, it's not like a nice bubble bath I'll have on a Saturday or something, it's a daily discipline almost, because I have to be my main priority. Because without me being well and healthy and happy and okay, nothing else works.

SPEAKER_03 11:20

I I was I was really resonating there with what you were saying and and and sort of nodding along, really, because I it there was that there's that difference. What I'm hearing you say, Heather, is that difference between doing something that you enjoy, but then suddenly it you have to reframe it very quickly, don't you? In terms of it becomes then something that like you said has to sustain your children, your family, your you know, your home, to have a home for your children and to sort of give them a decent life, really. So it kind of how does that shift your energy? You know, did you notice that there was a shift in your energy in terms of you know your energetics, but also you know, how did you manage that shift in in energy? I mean, I've you've spoken to you know this the self-care bit and having to build that really as a structure in your life as part of the you know, uh almost a way to kind of you know survival mechanism, really, but it's also very, very essential, isn't it, to make sure that you have that um energy to give? You know, I know when I see lots of clients, you know, it you can really feel it like viscerally in your body, how that kind of shows up if you've seen quite a few clients. It's something about that energy exchange, isn't it? Um so how did you sort of manage that gear, that that that um shift in gears, really, in terms of the difference between that that energy and that sort of you know, really kind of bringing that up to a level where you could sustain it, really?

SPEAKER_01 13:08

Yeah, I mean, I think from an energetic standpoint, thankfully, I am trained in sort of various different modalities with energy healing. I'm also somatically trained, so I work a lot with understanding the body and and how it responds. So I'm very, very fortunate that I had the knowledge at least to know when I was struggling or if you know I was completely unregulated or if there was you know a real shift in my energy. So I'm super, super aware of that, which is an absolute blessing. I don't know how I don't I don't know how people get through life without being aware of their energy and their body, because I think this is part of the reason, it's probably another tangent, but part of the reason we do struggle so much with with mental health and mental well-being is that we're just so detached from our energy bodies and our physical bodies that we think everything's in the head and we can overthink, and it can be very stressful because to answer your point of how did I shift from that, it was it was incredibly stressful. There was so much pressure, and that pressure continues, you know, prices of everything are going up, business rates are going up. It's not it's not a the pressure's just increasing most of the time, and it's just navigating it. And I think I'm fortunate that I do have quite a lot of masculine energy. I can lean into my masculine energy very easily, and I think that comes from I've always worked and I've you know, my career in the bank, we needed to have a pretty good um broad shoulders and be able to sort of handle quite a lot at the same time, so I can lean into my masculine energy and I can very much be action-focused, structure focused, and I can really drive my life and the business forward, and it's understanding that I then need to when I'm at home or when I'm resting, or part of my self-care and nurturing myself is that I need to allow myself to then flow back into the feminine and be in my more creative energy and you know, allow myself to rest without guilt, which is a huge thing. Um, so for me, it's just been learning over the last what we are now like five years, I suppose, how I need to ebb and flow. As a woman running a business, there are times where I just I will be out there, I will be full on, I'll be working loads of clients, I might be doing presentations, I might be speaking on stage, whatever I'm doing, that's great. But I also know that if I'm doing that, I need to have rest days, like not just a few hours, I need a day, sometimes two if it's been really full on, so that I can recharge my own batteries so that I can then go again. Because otherwise I just I can just burn out because I can very easily work, work, work, you know, pour everything into the kids, pour everything into the business, and that's when I get a bit unstuck. So it's just been sort of five years of learning how my body and mind responds to the stimulus that I'm putting it through.

SPEAKER_03 15:57

Yeah, and you hear, don't you, so many people, so many women, particularly you mentioned um earlier about this kind of expectation that we can do it all. And you know, I know there's lots of kind of messages out there that says that. And I mean, obviously, over the last 40-50 years, you know, that's you know, we you know, know that it's good that women have all these different opportunities and you know, have much more opportunity than perhaps they ever did historically. But I think, like you were saying, talking to what you were saying about kind of this idea that you know people are the expectations, especially with social media, and also not allowing yourself that time, so almost you know, it becomes um very, very performative, isn't it? In that you just keep going and going and going. So you're you know, for a lot of women, they're kind of trying to keep to that expectation of what they think um they should be, but it's very also it's very easy to get into that cycle, isn't it? Of um where you just keep going, and and I know it's very different for different people depending on what their circumstances are, and and you know, being it being a single parent, obviously that's a lot more difficult, isn't it? Actually, to be able to give yourself that permission, give yourself that time. Um, I wondered how you use thematics. You mentioned that you were trained in thematics and how you help the you know the people that you work with, whether in terms of like really connecting back to their body. How do you sort of do that with your clients?

SPEAKER_01 17:43

So that would very much depend on what they needed, but what I come across the most is that they're they're just numb from their body, they're not listening to the signals, they don't even notice the signals. Um, so interreception is usually uh it can be quite poor. Um, and especially if someone's gone through trauma or grief or or anything like that. When I sort of guide them through, you know, you know, you're talking about this particular thing. So where do you feel that in your body? I don't feel it anywhere. You know, where do you where do you notice things when you feel sad or when you feel upset? Where do you notice it? So I help people understand that actually their body's giving them signals. And I know this for myself that I can like there used to be times, especially when I was going through the divorce and things, that I'd feel huge waves of just sadness and gut-wrenching rejection and things like this. And it was just, I was like, there's got to be a piece of the puzzle that I'm missing here. I wasn't trained in somatics at this point, but I was like, you know, it's like when you feel nervous, you might feel a little bit sick. It's like everything works together. So I just helped my clients understand that actually we do have an energetic body, we have a physical body, we have a mental uh body as well. We're we're we're doing all these things, but nothing's working on its own. It's all working together. The nervous system gets involved, the brain, the gut, everything is working together. But we have just been conditioned to be so focused on the mind and the brain, and that is where you know everything happens and it just doesn't, it all works together. So I just help people get out, drop down from their brain a little bit and just reconnect with what's going on and understand their nervous system a little bit more as well, because that is just such a huge part of it. And if people can understand, okay, I'm feeling a little bit anxious at the moment, rather than them being like, Oh, I'm an anxious person, it's like, no, a part of you right now is feeling anxious, and there's a reason. So, can you just take a step back for a second and tune into that and understand what's going on, what's made you feel a bit anxious, and then once they have that understanding again, the brain settles down, it goes, Oh, okay, I understand now. Don't worry, I won't make you overthink this for the next three days. So it's just it's phenomenal what can happen when people just are able to drop into their body and understand what it's trying to tell them rather than getting annoyed that you know they're feeling anxious again, for example.

SPEAKER_03 20:09

Yeah, that's so important, isn't it? And I think, like you said, there's a disc there has been a disconnect, and often when people are in that trauma, it's really difficult for them to make that connection, if ever actually. Sometimes people don't make that connection between mind and body, even though they might have lots of um physical symptoms in their body, but they don't relate the stress or the traumatic event to their body somehow. And like you said, I think it's to do with conditioning and you know, particularly I think women are more in touch with their bodies perhaps than than men. I don't know. I mean you might disagree with that. I mean, obviously you said you work with a lot of men as well, but you know, maybe there's uh a difference between that feminine energy and that masculine energy as to how quickly they can kind of identify it or or make sense of it. But I think that's so so interesting, that work that you're doing and enabling really people to kind of work through it, really, which is it is so important for processing it, and you know, because often we get stuck, don't we, in our minds. So when you know, I notice this with clients and they come to therapy, you know, it's really good and they you know it's they talk through all the different issues that have happened to them, but there is also something about finding the next steps or identifying what it is that they need to do to, and I think you use this word, sustain, you know, and I think that's important to feel like okay, you've sat with it, you've worked through it, but you might want to then go on to the next bit of healing, really. So um I think that's really important. But I was just gonna ask another question around your own self-care. You mentioned your own self-care before. What kinds of do you have like a morning routine or an evening routine? Or or maybe you don't have you know a sort of self-care routine, but I know you mentioned it. I wondered if you could tell the listeners what that looks like about yeah, certainly.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

I will just um I'll just sort of answer the the question you asked in there about the men versus women as well, because I think that's a really interesting topic that we're going to see evolving far more. Is that no, I think men are actually just as intuitive, just as in tune. It's just unfortunately they've had so much conditioning that that's not okay, that they're not allowed to feel their emotions and um you know they must suppress them, and they don't, you know, this is why typically we see men, or certainly in my clinic experience, I see men who struggle with anger far more than women, um, because they just they don't know how they're supposed to respond to the emotions that they have. So actually, when you work, when I work with these men, they're actually very, very capable of tapping into their feelings. And you know, we all have masculine and feminine energy, regardless of how we identify as a gender. Masculine and feminine energy is purely that, it's an energy, it's not about masculinity and femininity, it's just purely an energy. And what I'm loving is actually that more, I just think we're slowly starting to see more men realize that it's okay, you know, it's okay to talk, it's okay to feel, it's okay to express your emotions, it's okay to have needs. And women are learning that as well, but from a completely different viewpoint because for so long we've been suppressed, and men, you know, pay the heart again, another tangent, but you know, patriarchy has not done men or women very much good, unfortunately. So we've both been, men and women have both been suppressed, but in different ways, and we're now just all starting to certainly the clients I work with, just wake up and realize what is actually possible when they do the work. And again, to your point about sort of sustaining things, I think one of the things that I'm seeing more often, and this goes to the point that you asked about my routines and things, I don't have routines specifically, but what I have built up and what I like to see my clients build up is in order to sustain the positive results of um therapy, is to actually build capacity within them so that they can experience all the emotions. Because as humans, we're very emotional beings. It's not you don't go to therapy just so you can handle more bad stuff, like you go to therapy so you can start living a more joyful life and building that capacity to actually experience joy and pleasure and happiness, not just the you know, recycling of the survival mode, is just such a beautiful thing. And I think that's where sadly therapy sometimes, well, not therapy falls short, but there's there's not anything put in place to help people sustain that capacity. So they can end up sort of falling off the wagon, if you like, and sort of falling back into the darker emotions, not really knowing how to hold them. Um that's one of the core focuses of my um of my work. But um, and I like going on a slight tangent. I just you mentioned some really interesting points. I just wanted to sort of comment on them. But to ask your direct answer your direct question about routines, no, not really. I don't have anything. Um, there's no silver bullet. I um, you know, I mean, I do everyone has habits and routines, you know. I have my habits and my routines of my supplements with my morning coffee and things like that. And I go to the gym regularly, but because I'm self-employed and I try and facilitate client sessions around their schedules as well, no week ever looks the same. So it's just about knowing what I'm committed to. I'm committed to my health and my fitness. So that means making sure I drink enough water every day, making sure that I eat enough. I'm I'm terrible at just working through and just grabbing a biscuit. That's like that's that's my worst trait. So it's making sure I eat enough, making sure I go to the gym, making sure I get out in the fresh air at least once a day, even if the weather's bad. It's these things that are not necessarily routines that I do this at a certain time, but I'm committed to them because I know that they're absolutely essential. So they they just happen in my day because I won't let them not happen, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 26:39

Yeah, total sense. And and also it sort of um I totally hear that because I think as soon as you say to somebody in a way, you know, oh, you've got to have a routine, people kind of like um just recoil, don't they? Some people, and I think you know, I know I do, and I think it it feels too structured and it feels too like too much pressure, but I think as soon as you almost take that pressure off, it it's a lifestyle, isn't it? Change really, or it's it's something that's going to really help you and nurture you to be able to do all of these different things, so it's it it feels just part of kind of normal life, I think. So I think that is really important to kind of um have that mindset, really, because I think you know, as we know, so many people kind of set all these like really rigid routines of what they're gonna do, and then it doesn't happen. So um, you know, I think sort of viewing it in that way um it is much more helpful, isn't it? That it's something that is is really gonna nurture you and fill you up, really. So I was just wondering as well, um how does the way particularly with women because we're thinking about women as well here, um but also with clients as well, just generally. But how does your work do you feel um help to people feel more kind of empowered? So particularly women, is there kind of examples that you can think of that when you've worked with a client that they've made like a really big shift or had a really big insight in your work?

SPEAKER_01 28:31

I mean, yeah, that's that's the crux of my work. I'm all about getting to the root problem and I love I love seeing the aha moments and the big shifts. So that is ultimately you know my work. But the first the person that comes to mind um was an incredible woman that I worked with for about a year. And when she started working with me, she wanted help in basically getting some kind of work-life balance. She had a very, very high-end job um, sort of Silicon Valley uh level um with the tech world um in America, and she I've never and I I've shared this publicly, and she's given me permission to share this. Um, we've talked about this online in other conversations. So when she came on the call, um, within about 15 minutes of our conversations, I was genuinely terrified that she was going to have either a heart attack or a stroke before the next time I saw her. She was grey, she I've never seen someone's shoulders so close to their ears. She was so stressed. Um, and this was her normal, this was her normal life. And, you know, she'd come to me for a bit of work-life balance. I was like, wow, we have we have a load of other stuff we need to work on first because her job was literally killing her. And um we worked together, you know, the first thing I said I was that you need to go and see a GP immediately, you need an MOT. I need to know what we're working with here. Um, and yeah, so we worked together for a year, and she now is she left that job. That was a very, very well-paying job. Um, we worked through all of it, she had financial advisors, we did all the thing. It was very much a very holistic approach to everything. Um, and she inevitably left there and set up her own business. She retrained as a massage therapist, and she is now running her own business, she's fully booked, she is thriving, she is vibrant, she's healthy, her skin is glowing rather than being grey. She's just literally like a ball of energy now, and just it makes my heart sing that someone uh because she, as a woman, working in ways that were just, I mean, they weren't sustainable. Um, if you know anything about how big tech companies work in America, I don't understand how it's sustainable for human beings full stop, let alone a woman. Um, she was working incredibly hard, had a 25-year career, and you know, had had the courage to step away from that and reinvent her life and is just thriving, absolutely thriving. Her business has been going for about six months now, and it's absolutely thriving. She's fully booked all the time, she loves it, she's happy, her family are happy, and that to me, even though people might be like, Oh, she left this really high-paid career, that to me is a woman taking back her power and living her life for her rather than just staying on this treadmill that would have eventually led her to a heart attack.

SPEAKER_03 31:31

That that's amazing, yeah. That that's really amazing, and actually that that kind of um change as well, you know, the fact that she, like you said, it's not about um that high-powered job, actually, it's what success means to different people and the value that they they attribute to things. And sometimes we can have that completely the wrong way around, you know. We can partly because of conditioning and things like you described, you know, perhaps that's that's the career she went into originally, that's what she thought she had to keep on going and keep on doing, and and actually, so that work that you've done with her sounds absolutely amazing. And and how must you feel, you know, to have to enable that and helped her to feel more um empowered, really, to kind of make that shift and make that change, and now you can really see the difference in, like you said, her skin and her physical health and her mental health, and you know, her family has a ripple effect, doesn't it? Because her family are probably also re um reaping the um positives of that and the benefits of her feeling better and and just being you know, feeling much better better in her mood and all sorts of things, isn't it? Has um such a big impact, really. So um so well done, Heather, for that. That's amazing. And what you know, what an inspiration as well to, you know, because it's not easy, is it? I've spoken to other guests before about you know those kinds of um what they call like the golden handcuffs, you know, you're in a career that has you know high powers and the money is massive, and you know, it's but again, it's that kind of false sense of safety, isn't it? And um it's the money sometimes, or the status or what we think we should be doing that sort of keeps us trapped or keeps us in and it feels you know, I know that you know lots of people have spoken about this before, but it's that that money trap, isn't it? And that career trap that we think we we have to stay in, really, as a sense of safety. But I wonder if I could just move on to the next uh question. So tell me about perhaps a woman in your own life that's really helped you to feel empowered or has indeed sort of inspired you really in in your life.

SPEAKER_01 34:11

Oh my gosh, I mean, there's so many. I'm very, very lucky. I mean, you know, my mum is a perfect example, like she, you know, sacrificed a lot back in, you know, again, typical sort of generational thing, sacrificed a lot to raise the children. But you know, she's highly intelligent, bright, could have had any kind of career. That just wasn't that wasn't the really the the done thing. Um, it certainly wasn't her upbringing, so you know, but she created an amazing life um and sort of you know pursued her a career, if you like, um, once us kids were grown up, which was really cool. And it was really nice to see her retrain and do something that she was really passionate about and have that pride that she's like, yeah, I can do this. Um, and I've equally I've got I've I mean I've worked with amazing healers. Um, I'm very much into alternative healing. I think it it works incredibly well. Um, and I've got amazing female friends who again are my ride and dies on the days where I'm struggling, they've got you know podcast long voice notes on their phone and they'll come back to me, and you know, they're they're forging ahead and creating a completely different life as well. And it's really beautiful to see women do that and in different contexts as well. You know, I've got most of my friends are still married, and they're building these amazing lives with their partners and seeing their partners evolve with them as as they lead ahead, and sort of some of them are doing it in very, I love it, very witchy, uh, energetic, spiritual, alternative ways, and I'm absolutely here for it. And others are ploughing ahead and they've got really good careers, and they've got husbands that do a majority of you know the childcare and and the house stuff, and it's it's just really beautiful seeing women when they're well supported. I think that when women are well supported, whether that be with other women or their partners, magic happens because we are, you said this earlier on, like we are generally very heart-led, we are very passionate and we make we make things happen, we make amazing things happen, we are pure creative energy most of the time. So when we're well supported and we work together, anything can happen. We can literally change the world. So I'm very lucky to have strong, inspirational, kind-hearted women around me that I can lean on if I need to and that constantly inspire me.

SPEAKER_03 36:41

Yeah, it's so important, isn't it, to have you know, to have that. And like you said, you know, it when that support is around you and that sisterhood, you know, and that, you know, and also um older women as well, you know, different age women, but older women without you know, that are have have been there and they've kind of got that wisdom as well, but also, you know, age is not seen as something that is um, you know, like negative, or that you get a certain age and you can't do this or you can't do that, you know. So actually, you know, I think it's really important to have a broad range, really, isn't it, of of that support around you that and and like you said, that magic happens when that support is is there really. So I I totally agree with that. And I I've seen so many examples of that, which I'm sure that you know you had as well. So I wondered if if you could give um so we're gonna go sort of back a bit now. So if you could give your 18-year-old self some advice, what would it be, do you think?

SPEAKER_01 37:50

I think so. The 18-year-old version of me um was heading off to Australia because she thought, why not? So solo traveling. So I wasn't exactly uh shy in uh taking some risks and doing some big things, but I think what she needed to hear is that life isn't what you're told life is, life can be anything, and just take the risk and don't shrink down for anyone. The 18-year-old version of me was very much in the conditioning that I needed to get, you know, a husband and a house and children, and I thought that that was the life path that I had to follow. Um, and I would definitely tell her that that's not what you need to do and you're okay on your own. Being a single woman is not this terrible curse that you know society will tell you, just live your life, take some risks, you have every choice available to you, um, and just go for it. Live your life fully and don't settle and don't shrink yourself for anybody.

SPEAKER_03 38:56

Yeah, I think that's so that's so amazing. Yeah, it's that kind of it's that kind of feeling, isn't it? Around kind of actually it's okay to um to be just on your own as well, you know. There's like you said, there's so much conditioning around oh, you have to be in a relationship or you have to be successful again. It goes back to that kind of um society's conditioning, doesn't it? Around what does it mean? And actually, life is so massive, and there's like you said, there's so many opportunities out there, um, but we don't want to sort of almost pigeonhole ourselves, do we, really, into thinking that that's the only thing we can be, you know. So that big identity bit is really important. Um I I was wondering um if you had a chance to change the world so that it was a better place. Big question. What would it what would it be? And you only have to think of one thing, you know, if there's something that springs to mind, I don't know, you know, that you're thinking actually, I would this is something that's really key and fundamental, could really make a massive difference in the world.

SPEAKER_01 40:14

Oh my goodness, where do we start, especially with the state of the world right now? There's a lot of things that came to mind. Ultimately, though, I I have to say, I think the thing that we need to eradicate is the awful levels of inequality for women across the world. It's bad enough in the West, um, it's horrendous in other parts of the world. We have seen Afghanistan is a perfect example. The way that women are treated there is just vile and abhorrent. And I truly believe that we are moving out of the age of patriarchal rule, which is very much power over. And I know if there are men listening to this, I'm sure it's more women, but if men listen to your podcast as well, I'm not anti-men at all. I love men, I think they are absolutely part of the solution to move this world forward. But patriarchal rule is power over, and it is looking after the very top percent of people. Matriarchal rule, which is where I hope we are moving into, is very much a circular thing. When women work, women work together, we collaborate, we care, we love, we are the mothers. And when we can get humankind on that kind of trajectory, that is when the world is going to change. And this isn't again about women versus men, it's about humanity coming together for the greater good of humanity, and we cannot do that when we have women being murdered, uh, you know, all these awful things happening to women, literally not being able to live a life just because they've been born female. That's the biggest thing that needs to change in the world.

SPEAKER_03 42:01

Yeah, definitely, 100%. And I think there's so many examples of that at the moment, you know, it's it's really shocking actually, and and you know, and also inequality can you know be quite subtle as well. You know, I found that in my own experience going through a divorce and the court system and different things that even you know, as a as a professional woman and like a social worker of 20 years and a therapist, you know, actually all of these things I I knew a lot about inequality in terms of working with clients that were that had faced a lot of inequality throughout their lives, but it was really shocking to also experience that in real time as a woman myself, you know. I think it's very different when we can when we hear about it and we read about it, but then it learns much more when we experience it ourselves as well. And I think there's so many things out there in society that we've been, as we know, we've you know, with patriarchy and you you mentioned that that we've been conditioned, um, and some of our you know mothers and mothers' mothers have have been conditioned with, and that's been you know passed down, and generationally we you know it's an sometimes it's an unconscious bias or it's an unconscious thought, but it's part of the conditioning. So once we start to question that, um, which you know obviously a lot of that's what's happening and it's been happening for a little while, but it's also not just a big um kind of inequality, it's also happening on a very sort of micro level, if you like, sort of every day. Um but we don't see it because you know it's sometimes people's assumptions or things. That people say, and you're like, oh, hold on a minute, you know, where's that coming from? You know, that belief, or you know, and it's almost like you have to either check someone or check yourself a little bit because it's so easy because we're part of that that historical system, and of course, you know, it's much women are facing much, much worse atrocities and and disadvantage, you know, in other parts of the world and across the world in in worn-torn places and um and different areas. So we with that in mind, if you had either a slogan or your own slogan that you could blaze across, I don't know, Times Square or across the world, beamed across the world, um, what would your slogan be? What would it say? Like a kind of saying that kind of sums up what's either important to you or or what your work represents.

SPEAKER_01 45:05

So I'm laughing because um people know that well, I have two slogans. One is far too sweary for this podcast, and then the other one is just basically just don't be a dick. And I know it sounds like quite flippant, but if everyone was just a bit more kind, a little bit more considerate, just thought before they spoke, the world would be in a much better place. The amount of people I see, my clients who are ruminating and heartbroken over something someone said. And I'm like, if people just realize that if they just took a step back and just took a breath and thought about the impact of their words on people, just don't be a dick, just be a bit nicer, and we'll all be fine.

SPEAKER_02 45:51

I love that, I love that. I was just laughing away, you probably can't hear me in the background because I muted, but I just love that, it's so funny.

SPEAKER_03 45:59

And I yes, absolutely, just don't be a dick. That's it. That's what you move around the world. So, yeah, I think that's brilliant to be honest. Um, yeah, yeah, absolutely. So obviously, we come to the end now, and I want to thank you, Heather, for taking the time to you know talk to me today on the podcast. And obviously, it's really important that you know we hear from loads of different types of women on the podcast, you know, that can really tell their story and you know that we can resonate with really, as you said, you know, the importance of community and sisterhood and women women come together and connect, it's so important. So, um, so thank you for taking the time today to sort of share your insights and your stories. Um, if the listeners want to know how to connect to you or work with you, where can they find you? Where can they reach you?

SPEAKER_01 46:59

Um, the best place from social media perspective is Instagram. I am on LinkedIn, but I don't really use it very much. But I am on Instagram, HeatherAngel underscore, and my website is heatherangel.co.uk, and everything is on there.

SPEAKER_03 47:14

That's amazing, thank you. Well, thank you so much for coming on today, and um hopefully, you know, that you continue all the good work, Heather, that you're you're doing with everybody and your clients.

SPEAKER_01 47:28

Thank you. Thanks so much for having me on.

SPEAKER_00 47:31

Thank you for tuning in to the Lou Kylie Show. I hope today's episode has inspired you to reconnect with your own inner power and take that next step towards transformation. If you found value in today's show, be sure to subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review. Your support helps us to reach more people who are ready to live their empowered life. And if you're ready to take your own journey further, don't hesitate to connect with Lou and explore her empowered pathway system. Until next time, remember, anything is possible when you tap into your true empowerment. Please note. Lou's tough development programs, webinars, and trainings are designed to empower and inspire. But they're not a substitute for professional mental health support or therapy and do not imply a guarantee of outcomes. If you're in crisis, please reach out to the following organizations in the show notes.