Useless Banter
Hosted by two best friends with too many opinions and no clear direction, Useless Banter is your new favorite dose of chaos, laughs, and real talk. From unhinged travel stories and the highs (and lows) of gay culture, to lifestyle hot takes, pop culture deep dives, and career confessions — nothing is off limits and everything is up for debate.
Whether you’re here for the humor, the honesty, or just the background noise while you spiral through your day, you’ll feel right at home. Tune in for the kind of conversations you have with your best friend at 2 AM — totally random, a little reckless, and 100% useless.
Useless Banter
Healed or Rebranding Chaos?
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This week on Useless Banter, we’re in our “main character going to Europe” era—mentally packing outfits, romanticizing every cobblestone street, and pretending we won’t overpack (we will).
But before the passport stamps and Aperol spritzes, we get real about what’s happening before the trip: using the gym as therapy, sweating through stress, and figuring out if we’re actually growing… or just getting really good at coping.
Which leads us to the question of the hour: are we healed, or are we just rebranding the chaos?
It’s part travel prep, part emotional check-in, and fully unhinged in the way only we can be. Come for the Europe delusions, stay for the existential spiral.
Hi, I'm Louise. My name is Brett.
SPEAKER_00Welcome to Useless Panter. A podcast where two best friends won't shut the fuck up. Basically, a podcast where we talk about a bunch of useless shit that doesn't really matter, but it's highly entertaining.
SPEAKER_01So grab a drink, lower your expectations, and let's get useless.
SPEAKER_00Okay, well, cheers, girl.
SPEAKER_01Cheers, Mo. With my broken ass uh wine bottle.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god, it's still broken. And hey, we have not fixed it. I think it's a very accurate depiction. Yeah, of me. Of us. Oh, okay. Yeah. Sure of you. Um, so dive into that. Why do you think you're broken? I'm just kidding. Well, I did just total my car. Oh, right.
SPEAKER_01And I yeah, I picked you up with Aubrey. Yeah, oh my god, you guys. I literally just totaled my car. It was very traumatizing. Um that was yeah, crazy. Uh yeah, but long story short, I'm gonna go jeep shopping. So it's like everything's fine.
SPEAKER_00Hey, and we leave for Europe in like 48 hours. Yeah, two days.
SPEAKER_01Hey, haven't packed a lick. Not even haven't even cracked open the suitcase. Oh my god. And I'm going shopping tomorrow.
SPEAKER_00Oh, oh, okay. Work, work, work. No, I mean, period. Honestly, the only reason I have kind of is because I moved this weekend. Yeah. Yeah. I moved this weekend. Yeah. Um, but yeah, I moved this weekend. So honestly, as I was packing things up, I was like, oh, I'm gonna take this, I'm gonna take that. So in my head, I kind of already know what I'm taking for the most part. And I did go shopping on Friday.
SPEAKER_01I know those are so cute. Yeah, they were happy. If you see me out with those same pair, then like, hey, don't say nothing. Yeah, I don't think anyone would be guys.
SPEAKER_00The way that I feel like we're gonna be sharing clothes on this trip.
SPEAKER_01100% except I'm like, stop getting those little fucking pants hemmed, bitch, because I can't wear your pants.
SPEAKER_00And I can't wear yours because they're gonna be dragging on the floor.
SPEAKER_01Um, yeah. Oh my god. But anyway, so in preparation, we have been going crazy, hitting it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, and like, you know, we are people who are very active. So I do want to preface it by saying, like, well, I don't even feel like I need to preface it honestly. Bitch, don't preface shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, honestly, it's just we we are very active people, and I think we just want to feel our best. And um, we even said that sometimes the whole, you know, exercise and things, yes, it is physical, but a lot of it is mental. Oh, a hundred percent.
SPEAKER_01You know, it's so mental. Yeah, yeah. So we've been taking, I feel like the past few weekends we have taken it upon ourselves. We're typically like, we're usually going out and getting blacked out. I mean, no shade. No, but like we are partying, we're having fun, we're doing whatever, having drinks. You're like, we're partying, we're having fun. I'm like, we're getting blacked out.
SPEAKER_00Um we're mexica sims and up in here.
SPEAKER_01Um, yeah, on Fridays, that's like typical, our typical gig, but we've been like nunning it up and uh just really diving in because we're like, okay, we're we know we're about to go batshit crazy in Europe. So we're like, let's, you know, cool it. Like the club can miss us for a second. You know what I mean? Oh, 100%. Like um, so we've been like staying at home, keeping it cute on Fridays, then we wake waking up on Saturdays and doing either like berries and soul, or I just made you come take um Bethany, yeah, drip cycle, which is a studio that I teach at. And spin and sculpt. Spin and sculpt. So we've either been doing berries and spin. So those two kit and spin. Yeah, or spin and spin and sculpt, which is like heated Pilates. Yeah. So we've been doing two classes. Yeah, so like psychotic and psychotic, and then psychotic. Yeah, 100%.
SPEAKER_00No, but honestly, it has been kind of nice because as, and I'm sure you can relate to this too, but like as someone who works in fitness and like I'm teaching all these classes, yeah. Like, sure, you're active or I'm active, but I'm not doing a majority of the class, you know? Oh, I fully agree.
SPEAKER_01And sometimes it's like I miss being a student. Yes, me too. So like I want to turn my brain off. I want someone to yell at me and just tell me to shut up and do what they want me to do. And I'm like, yes, ma'am, or yes, sir. Yeah. And I mean, especially Bethany, shout out to Bethany. I mean, that bitch is literally insane, but like literally, yes. It's so you would think that, you know, me, someone who's like so dancy and like my my you know, uh style of spin is like I love like the performance of it all. And she, her class is the exact opposite. Like when you were in her class, you were literally training for the cycling Olympics. Yeah, like and she is like in your face, being like, You fucking exactly.
SPEAKER_00No, she literally that's way. But it it does, I mean, I get it, it does motivate you because even I was in class. First of all, she put me in the front row with you, and I was like, I cannot fuck up. I cannot fuck up. Like, Bethany's gonna yell at me if I mess up or if I have a seat in the saddle. Like one time I could have sworn she said, like, okay, have a seat, but then as soon as I sat down and I saw other people sitting down too, she's like, Did I say sit down? And I was like, oh my god.
SPEAKER_01So I literally was like, Oh yeah, I also love taking our classes because she's really cultivated like a um a crew there where it's like every rider in that room is like a very talented rider, like they are all athletes they're training, like athletes, like they love that push. And then I've been like, you know, trying to brainwash myself into being like a Pilates girl, spin, sculpts, or whatever. So, anyways, we've been, you know, diving in, and um, I feel like I use, and maybe you could agree, but sometimes I feel like I use fitness as like therapy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, for sure. Again, I do think a lot of it is like the mental, and not that that's you know, I think a form of therapy can be therapeutic and uh cathartic, right? Like it's very I feel like you're releasing one endorphins and the toxins and things, but it's also just a mental state. You're taking care of your mental well-being as well. Yeah, you know, it's all about the health and wellness.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah. You really are working on like your mental toughness and um I don't know. There's just nothing like it. Like no matter what, after I finish, especially like um a class setting where there's a group of people, there's an energy in the room. It's like no matter what, when I finish the class, I always feel like better mentally too. Like obviously physically, but like mentally.
SPEAKER_00I definitely think there's like a balance to it, of course. Like, you know, we I think go through waves where we really, really double down and go ham on it. But um, but I also think there are moments where we have to pull it back a little bit and take care of our bodies and our mental wealth or mental wealth, mental well-being, just because I think sometimes we are so go go go go go that if we are go go go already in our day-to-day and then we add on like all this craziness, like sometimes it can be a lot. So I do think that there's a balance to it, but I also think like we listen to our bodies, we know when we want to turn it up and bring it down and all that kind of thing. And I think I think that's fine as long as you're like taking care of yourself in between, you know?
SPEAKER_01I was like, are we are we healed or are we like rebranding our own chaos?
SPEAKER_00Right. Like it's I mean, the idea is like, because I feel like some people will hear that and be like, oh my gosh, like why do you need to double? And oh my gosh, why do you need to like do all this craziness? And it's like, okay, some people might see it as like, are you really, are you avoiding something? Are we using this escapism? Escapism, which hey, maybe there's a level of validity to it.
SPEAKER_01There's definitely a touch of that for me, babe.
SPEAKER_00Like I'm yeah, like sometimes I do be filling up my schedule with workouts to avoid some personal. I'm getting a lot of same. No, no, no, no. Same and same. So yeah, I do think, like, is it are we actually healing ourselves? Because it does feel good to work out, it does feel good to push. We are those people who like to be like sweaty, pushy, whatever. It does feel good. Sweaty, pushy.
SPEAKER_01I know. Well, I just had a friend stay with me, and she stayed with me for like two weeks. And I always like, it's like always like a disclaimer. Like, when you stay with me, it's like I feel like I'm like, I need you to know that my schedule is insane. Yeah, crazy. So like I am like up in Adam, I leave at like 5 a.m. And then it's like somehow, somehow, my day is just jam-packed with things like day, like every second. So, like, even you know, with her staying and she's like, Oh, okay, so what are you doing? Like, what are you doing now? And I'm like, Oh, I have a workout. And she's like, Well, do you like have to go? I'm like, like, I don't have to do it, but like I have to do it. But that's what you mean. That's like an hour that you're carving out for you, you know? Right, right. But then it's like, oh, well, I'm gonna take another one after that. And then it's like and it's like, okay, babe, like, what are you doing?
SPEAKER_00It gets a little crazy sometimes. I do feel like people will sometimes, yeah, have that reaction. They're like, okay, this is like really excessive. Again, it's like I know that I don't need to be doing that all the time, but I have moments where I some weeks I really do want to do it, especially because we're leading up to Europe where I know. That's my thing too. You know, like I know we're gonna be chilling. I want to enjoy. Sure, we're gonna like hit a workout here and there, but like, you know, I also think we're gonna want to just enjoy our vacation.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So for me personally, I just want to do everything I can now so that I can go off and enjoy.
SPEAKER_01And enjoy, yeah. Cause I really do want to like tune out. I also want to feel good. Like whenever I'm on vacation, it's like, I don't know. I don't, I always like try so much harder to like put forth like effort into myself. Yeah. Because when I'm on vacation, I want to like release that stress and that pressure. Yeah. So I'm like, I really like, you know, Coachella, like the things that we do, the big events that we do. I'm like, I want to lock in. So when I get there, I'm like, ooh, yeah, she's feeling kind of cute.
SPEAKER_00And again, half of it, half of that is mental, right? Yeah, half of that is just you know that you put in the work and you should feel good about the work you put in. You know what I mean? Like, I say it all the time in my classes, especially recently. I'm like, we work too fucking hard to not feel sexy as fuck right now. Oh, you know what I mean? Like, I I've been preaching that in class and I I take it to myself too. Like, I'm like the exactly this. I'm taking care of myself, I'm working hard, I'm eating right, like all this stuff. Because I know that in a future dream, yeah, I'm gonna wanna enjoy the food, the culture, the drinks, the everything, you know? Yes, yes, yes, yes. So I'm like, I don't want to have to worry about that. Um, with that said, I do, we should definitely take like a berries class or something while we're out there. I want to take that like almost every day. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're talking about like keeping it calm up.
SPEAKER_01I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna release the pressure.
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna work out three times a day, and then in between I'm gonna tour the city.
SPEAKER_01No, I know. I was already thinking, I'm like, oh, because you're running the marathon. I'm like, well, I have to work out that day.
SPEAKER_00Like, oh, but don't do it, BOMO! It's like I'm gonna have so much BOMO. No, you shouldn't, you shouldn't.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but I'll I will be there to cheer you on, don't you worry.
SPEAKER_00Um, wait, but also this is like our first, not international trip because we've gone to Mexico together, but this is like our first big, big trip together. I know, I know.
SPEAKER_01I mean, my first big, big trip in general.
SPEAKER_00So yeah, this is your first time going across the way. You've been to Canada and Mexico, right?
SPEAKER_01Canada, Mexico, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, that's it. And the US, like in other parts of the United States, literally everywhere in the US, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay, um, well, I'm so excited. I mean, I feel like it's, you know, it's funny. I was just talking to somebody the other day, and they were like, uh, oh, who are you going with like to Europe, you know? And actually it was one of my one of my bosses, and I was like, oh, it's like five of us. And she goes, Oh my gosh, you have so many friends. And you know, when you think about it, like five people isn't a whole lot. I mean, it's a lot to go on an international trip, but when you think about five people outside of a trip, you're like, okay, five people, that's a good amount. But yeah, to go on an international trip, it is kind of a big ask and commitment. And I do feel like it's hard to find people who really follow through with it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, no, I agree. I honestly am so incredibly grateful just because I don't really know anything and I don't know much about international travel. So you guys are all so well versed in it and have been like just like taking care of like booking the things, and most of you have already been to the place that we were going to. So you guys have been like doing all the things, the split-wise, just setting everything up. So I'm like, all I have to do is pay my way, show up and bring good vibes. And so I'm like so so grateful. It honestly couldn't be more ideal for my per my first time to go with people that are like experienced, and I'm like, I'm just you know, I'm hey, once again, the personality hire for the trip. I'm like, I'll make you guys smile.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. No, and period. And I think we're all gonna have a really, really good time, honestly. And you know, like for instance, Tani like loves Paris, so that's like her jam, that's her city, you know. And like I was just in London with my friend, and you know, we've been to Rome, but like it's been so long. So it's it's all I think all of us are really, really more than happy to like take the reins on it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, but again, I do think like, and that's like it's totally understandable. A trip like this, I also just remind myself every time we go, every time I go somewhere like this, that I really am just so lucky to be able to do it because it's not cheap and it's not easy to ask for that much. No, right. And it's not easy to ask for that much time off work and you know, just all the things.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think that's like another interesting topic topic. Uh, you know, just like with trips that are expensive and just like life in general. I think that like, you know, when you go and do things like this, like the topic of money is obviously brought up a lot and in regards to different dynamics and friendships and how close you are with people, and like, you know, where where do you fall as far as like splitting the bill and like uh how do you go about asking like your friends to pay you back? Or what is like the the norm, the s the the timeline that's like comfortable for you because I think that we've all grown up different in different financial backings and then also with like different financial like um what's the word like um like how do I explain like my mom for instance is a super super giving person financially. So like she's not like and we never had money, we grew up super, super poor. But if my mom had a dollar, she's giving it to her best friend. You know what I mean? And so I feel like the way that I grew up is like, which I as I'm getting older and learning that maybe it's not the best, but uh I am so giving financially and like um like or I I don't know that sounds weird, but like I don't mean you're not I cover people if we go out to to lunch, like or whatever. I always forget to like ask people or I get really uncomfortable asking people like, oh hey, like by the way, I you forgot to do this, like or whatever.
SPEAKER_00Like, how do you I I like it's I mean I we've I feel like we've just being friends encountered that dynamic. And I I very much feel like it's interesting to hear that because I do feel like yes, I understand how it can be uncomfortable to ask for for money. Personally, I'm also in the past more so, but have been avoidant in that sense where I just don't want a confrontation or conflict. So I would just, I'm like sometimes in my head praying, like, please just pay me back, you know, without me having to ask. But at the same time, it's like I grew up with my parents who were very much like, it's not rude to ask for what you put in. You know what I mean? Like it's normal and it's fine. It is. I do think that growing up, I've been lucky enough to have groups of friends that have also reinforced that it is okay to ask for that or okay to just remind people because it doesn't have to come off like aggressive or malicious or anything. It's just a simple fact like, oh hey, when you get a chance, don't forget to Venmo me for you know dinner last night. Right, right, right. Something super simple like that. Like, I don't think it has to be this big ordeal. I think it can be really simple. And I think to be honest, I think that people should understand that if you footed the bill or whatever for the night before, a reminder should be totally understandable. Like, I don't think anybody should be flipping out over a reminder, like, oh my god, he's asking me for money. Like, girl, I covered you. You know what I mean? Like, I think that's 100% normal. And if they don't understand that, then babe, we gotta figure something out. Like, you know, like that's not my like that's a personal thing. Like, you know what I mean? Um are you like a are you a Venmo requester or are you a just send me a Venmo? You know, like if you foot the bill, are you like a some people are very much like oh just Venmo request me? Like I just so I have it and I can accept it, or are you like no no, I'll do the math, I'll send it to you. Like which do you prefer if you foot the bill? So if I pay for the bill, yeah, how do you prefer people to like do you want to send the Venmo request out or do you want people to just Venmo you and figure it out in the bill?
SPEAKER_01I would rather people just okay, if I foot the bill, I would rather people just Venmo me uh what they owe. You know, if they do them, I would rather them just like do the math.
SPEAKER_00Then do the math.
SPEAKER_01Um however, I do oftentimes feel like when you're the one that foots the bill, people don't add in the tip or the tax or whatever. And somehow, some way, yeah, the service fee, you're not getting everything, yeah. Everything that you're supposed to get. Um so yes, I would prefer that because I get really uncomfortable. And it's also like I already am the one that's like agreeing to give him my card and to cover this. The least that you could do is add up what you owe. You know, like I shouldn't have to go through and like do all the math. Like you should I feel like just do that and then be able to send it in like a timely, it doesn't have to be right that second, but like in the next day or two, you know. Like, um, I mean I honestly it's more ideal if they send it like at dinner. And like here's my thing is like, I don't know if it's because I've just grew up super poor, but I am always extremely uncomfortable when somebody pays for me. So like if if say you split the bill, I'm doing it right then and there. Like, because like I can't have that like weigh on my conscience, like, oh my god, I owe this person. Like that will eat away at me so so bad because I feel like I have this like dying like uh need to be like independent or whatever, and I think it's just because I don't come from a lot, but like I also like am such a people pleaser that I'm like, oh no, like I I have so I'm like so I feel so bad for somebody for like putting their card up or whatever. Yeah, but really you shouldn't. But it's like I know what it's like, and I know some people hey, just be forgetting or what you know what I mean.
SPEAKER_00Like, right, right.
SPEAKER_01Or just a few dollars short, whatever. And then so it's like whoever decides to foot the bill always ends up like they have like an extra you know, weight to carry, and then whatever. And like I also am wildly uncomfortable asking people for money because I'm like, I'm typically like the people that I love, I'm like, I got you. Like, if you know what I mean, if I'm if I'm eating, you're eating. Like, I feel like in regards to our dynamic, it's very much like you'll get dinner. I'm like, okay, girl, I'll get dinner the next day. Like that's yeah, we're so, but I think we're just so close.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I was gonna say that dynamic works with certain people, especially when you're very close to those people. Because I like even Yvette and I are that way, you know what I mean? Like, if I go home to San Diego and like we go out for breakfast and she covers it, then I'll get us lunch and coffee later. Right. You know, or like vice versa. And I feel like you and I are kind of that same way the same way, yeah. Even if we're like out, right? Like you'll get around, I'll get around, you'll get around, whatever. You know, we like take turns, and I think it's just very much, yeah. I don't know. I think there is that kind of I very much with the people that I'm close with am fine with that dynamic. I don't mind the hey, you got me this time, I get you next time, whatever. But yeah, there are of course some people that maybe you don't see as often, and uh, because that's another thing. How often do you see these people, right? It's like so the next time I see you might not be for two months, and who knows when that you whatever. So with certain people, sure. Like I get it because I do get uncomfortable, especially like if I ask you once and then it still doesn't happen, then I get really uncomfortable asking you again again because it's like, but at the same time, it's like I again just want you to remember.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I and I also it's like such a I don't know, like uh I can appreciate someone so much that is on top of that. Yeah, like that's a really great quality to have like in a friend or whatever, for someone to just be like very considerate and you know, like, hey, I know that you did this, like let me just make sure I'm like putting you know my my bit worth or whatever, you know. So I am very, very appreciative, but it's it is always like an uncomfortable thing too. And um, I think too, like when you you know, everyone makes a different amount of money, everyone comes from a different amount of money. So like there's a lot of things that like also are brought into those thoughts, like you know, I have empathy for this person, maybe they're not maybe they're not like thriving right now, like financially or whatever, and so but at the end of the day, like we are all adults, and so like whatever you whatever weight that you take up in a space is what you should pay for, right?
SPEAKER_00Like, yeah, and I do understand that people go through ups and downs, right? Like, and that's one thing I would hope that people feel, and I get it because it's an ego thing, and sometimes you're embarrassed to like share that side of you, you know. But communication goes, yeah, because I think like if you were really going through it and you couldn't afford to pay for dinner or whatever, like you know, if we talked about it and you're like, hey, I'm just going through this right now, like I think I would be more inclined to help you out. 100% than if I didn't know what was going on. Of course, I'm gonna get frustrated if I'm having to cover you all the time or whatever. Granted, of course, there's a line where you don't want to take advantage of your friends, but again, I think that conversation does go a long way. But again, I understand that a lot of times it's embarrassing to have that conversation. It is, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I I I I think that's also why I have so much empathy. It's like I know what it's like to have nothing. And so I remember like being in school and like not being like struggling to like pay for like lunches or like whatever, going to friends' houses, like uh, and so like I feel like in regards to anyone that's in my life that may be struggling financially, I'm always like, I got you, I got you, I got you. And my belief is always like, Oh, if I put like good into the world, into the universe, like I know if I ever needed this back, like you got me. Like, I just care about you deeply, and like I'm gonna make sure you're good because you're my people and whatever. Um do you feel the same? In regards to dating. I was literally just gonna ask you that. It's so funny. It's like it's like we're best friends. Like we're best friends or something.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because I was gonna like my question was gonna be like, okay, do you care who pays for dinner? So okay. First date. Let me go from this.
SPEAKER_01This is so interesting because I don't know why I'm so uncomfortable with people paying for me. So you pay, do you usually pay for the first day? I always offer my card, or I will fight uh I will fight to at least pay half. Okay. Like if they offer to pay, I'm like, let no no no, like I got it. Or like let me it's like a natural reaction. Like I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's like an internal like ego thing, you know, like I'm like I came from nothing, so like I won't like no no no, I can prove like I I I'm worthy of paying for this. You know what I mean? Like I I I can like or I I don't like people to ever think of me as like someone that's like in need. Um in my mind, like when I talk about it, I'm like, yeah, I oh my god, a guy he paid for the meal, like that's so attractive, like whatever. Yeah, I want you to like swoon me or like whatever, but then when it comes down to it, I like if he pays, I like have like a debt in my mind that I'm like I I have to pay the next time. Like I cannot let him like be paying for me more than he paid for than I paid for him, you know? And it's like it shouldn't be like that, but also like both relationships that I've been in, like serious relationships, I absolutely was the breadwinner and I I paid like Okay, sugar daddy. Yeah, I paid like I paid the rent and like majority of the rent, I paid for like most of us to like live. And so I don't know if I just had and my dad was the same way. Like my dad was very much like the way that he showed love was through like financial support. Like that was his love language. And so I'm like, you know, I wonder if it's like I've picked some of that up from him or if it's an ego thing, or I don't know. I just I get really uncomfortable and I want to be better at that. Like I because I feel like I do a lot for people in my life, and like I should, you know, allow people to like if someone, if a guy wants to pay for dinner, like I shouldn't feel guilty about receiving that. But it's hard, it's really hard for me. Yeah, and that's something I've been it like noticing a lot more because I've been going on a lot more dates and just being like out and about, and it's like I like immediately am like, and even with my friends too, I'm like, no, no, no, I got it, no, I got it. Like, you know, and I don't, but I'm like, I don't know why that is. Like, I just the second that someone pays for me, it like eats away in my brain, like, oh my god, they I owe them, I owe them, I owe them.
SPEAKER_00I mean, I think it's like as a as your friend, I think I appreciate the offer, but there are times where I'm I I do feel you get very like, you know, yeah. Um even like the other night when I was like when I paid for dinner, I was like, No, literally last night, and I can feel you like waiting for him to like get the like I guess I was like I you know what I mean.
SPEAKER_01It was I was anxious.
SPEAKER_00I was literally like, oh my god, like but I was like for the record, like you had just helped me move that like yesterday, you know? Yeah, we freaking took my whole bed to get to the hey.
SPEAKER_01It was like, how many gays does it take to get this damn mattress up?
SPEAKER_00I'm driving the the U-Haul, and then we got the mattress and the box string down.
SPEAKER_01Driving the U-Haul up. I'm like, I'm like, keep going. You got okay, work, and then we're literally like like dropping the mattress, like just struggling to get it. Oh, literally. I mean, but I'm just like, you're my best friend. Obviously, I'm gonna help you move, you know, whatever. Like, I would do the same for you.
SPEAKER_00And and in that, I was like, the least I can do is buy you dinner, you know what I mean? So I was like, yeah, like of course, but I do I do know you, and I do that you do get anxious in those moments sometimes. So of course, like in other scenarios, as a friend, I appreciate you offering, but at the same time, I'm like, I do want you to be okay with somebody taking care of you a little bit because you do take care of your friends a lot, and we all appreciate it so so much. Like that's also what makes you so special, but also, yeah, like letting yourself be taken care of, I think is it's hard. I guess that's part of healing. Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_01Hey, the journey. What is it? What did I say earlier? I'm like, are we here? Are we rebranding the chaos? Like too.
SPEAKER_00Like, honestly, that is so real. Because sometimes I do feel like I really am just rebranding.
SPEAKER_01No, like, hey, like, am I rebranding? But like, let me tell you that the chaos is definitely elevated.
SPEAKER_00Like the chaos is, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like we've leveled up the chaos, but it is chaotic and it's still questionable. But like But we've been doing better, I will say it's a it's like a cute aesthetic of chaos.
SPEAKER_00Um, we call it spontaneity and mystery, you know? Yeah, yeah. That's what keeps us interesting and unique.
SPEAKER_01You just never know what you're gonna get.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. Just a little sprinkle of surprise here and there, you know? Yeah, yeah. Um, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Wait, okay, so what about you? In terms of uh like a guy paying for Oh, okay, okay. Yeah. And like, is it like for you, is it like a first date basis? Is it like uh like yeah, let's talk about first date.
SPEAKER_00Okay, I really don't care. Like we could split, we could split the bill. Yeah. Uh like for me, okay. For me, it's also sometimes I'm like, okay, who asked who on the date, like type of thing?
SPEAKER_01Because it's like I agree with that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Because the only reason I say that is because if you're deciding on the activity and you're deciding on the restaurant, let's say, and you're like, I'm a very like, I'll go with the flow. I'm not a picky eater, like I'll just whatever. But it's also like, okay, if you're taking me to this fancy, expensive dinner, I'm okay with splitting it. But I'm also like, at the same time, if you do want to cover the bill, if that's like your gig and you're like, I'm taking you out, like whatever, I'm also okay with that. You're like, I'm baby girl. Yeah, I mean, one, it is nice to be taken care of, yes, but at the same time, I don't need that.
SPEAKER_01You know what I mean? I think too, also it's made probably a little bit different because it's like when we're going on dates, it's obviously man to man. And so it's not like I like, you know, I feel like with men and women, it's a little bit different because it's like, um, I think a lot more women want to be like swooned, and it's like uh it's just the like the tradition, the hundred and second, yeah, traditional, yeah. But when it's like man to man, I'm like, no, like I'm a grown man, like I can pay for you too. You can pay for me. So it's like there's not as much of an expectation, like, oh, you gotta cover the bill.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because then that plays into I think like extremism top and bottom roles. Yeah, 100%. Which I don't think would either one of us fall into.
SPEAKER_00No, no, no. I don't think I and I also don't really want that.
SPEAKER_01I don't want that either.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so I feel like, and the thing with me, it's kind of like how we say the friendship thing. Like, if you were to pay for the first date, I will pay for the second date. Or like vice versa. You know, like that's right. If I yeah, like if I pay for the first date, I don't expect you to pay for the second date, but if you want to split it, sure. If you're like, no, no, no, you pay, like, you know, if we have our little argument and whatever, and then you pay, like, that's fine. I think I believe in taking turns. Like, I don't, I'm also not like gonna sit here and if you're really insisting on paying for dinner, I'm not gonna be like, no, I'm gonna pay for having like I I'm not gonna fight. I'll offer, of course, and I'll be like, hey, you know, but I don't expect you to pay every single time.
SPEAKER_01Like, that's absolutely insane. Yeah, that's crazy. What was I gonna say? Um, what about okay, you're married? Oh my god, what does that look like? Yeah, yeah. I'm like, when God, like, hey, this is an affirmation. We are manifesting marriage. Um, so okay, you're married. Do you think that you will have a joint account? Do you think you'll keep separate accounts? Will you have separate and a joint? Like, what's what's the T? God, it's like hard because like, how do you trust bitches? You know what I'm saying? No, on God.
SPEAKER_00Like, on God, especially like I just uh like I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Hey, are we healed or are we rebranding gay?
SPEAKER_00Okay, here's no trust bitches. Because here's the thing I feel like, you know, my sister's married and like my straight friends that are married, like I feel like there's just but none of the gay ones. No, right, right, none of the gay ones, and I feel like, and not there is a lot of, you know, also risk that goes into no shade. No shade. But like, you know, there's obviously infidelity and whatever, like things can happen, okay, in a straight, gay, whatever relationship, like it doesn't matter. But I do feel like generally with uh straight uh relationships and marriages, there is just more of like a traditional line to be followed. You know, it's like you get married, you have a joint account, you buy a house, you have kids, like there's just more of like this trajectory, and there's more of like the societal expectation. So people tend to try and stick with that more so than veer off. With gay relationships, people don't really try to stay on any sort of traditional route necessarily because um some do, right? Some gay couples really do get a house, have kids, like they have that trajectory. But a lot of times there isn't a societal expectation for us to have that. So really, there isn't like an expectation for us to follow anything. So it's kind of like anything goes, and that's what gets me nervous. Where I'm like, could could someone just like go off and leave at any point, or could things change? You know what I mean? Like, could they change at any moment? So, yes, ideally, I would find someone that I trust and that I want to build a home and a family with. That is definitely you know the goal. So, yes, I do think I would have a joint account at some point, but finances are definitely a conversation to be had before getting married, you know what I mean? Like, I definitely think we have to talk about that. We have to be on the same page in terms of like what is our what are our finances going to? Do we want kids? Do we want a house? Do we want like all these things? I to be honest, don't know if like do you have a joint account and then do you have your own account or is it just the joint account? I would imagine it's just the joint account, right?
SPEAKER_01But I don't know, do people I again, yeah, I think that the gays definitely don't follow the norms, societal norms. I think probably in a lot more uh straight relationships, it's probably like just a joint account because in a lot of um situations, like either the man or the woman doesn't work. Like most of them one of them is primarily the breadwinner, and so then obviously it does have to be a joint account. However, I think that what would be ideal for me and what I think that I would be comfortable with would be us having separate accounts. And then a joint account that we use. And then a joint account. And like we both put like almost it's like we pay rent into the joint account, which would go towards a house if we're saving up for vacations, if we're planning on kids. I agree. You know what I mean? Like, because I don't I'm not gonna go buy myself cute outfits, botox or whatever on money that you've made, you know what I mean? Like, I still want to be able to take care of myself, and then I think that we should both put in an equal effort to like unless you know I marry like a millionaire, which I mean I wouldn't be too mad about that one, but like obviously then maybe we would put different amounts into the account together or I think I to be honest though, now now that you said that, I'm like, I think a lot of straight couples do that.
SPEAKER_00A lot of straight couples that both of them do work because a lot of a lot of straight couples nowadays do work, like both of them. So I think a lot of a lot of them do actually do that where they'll have an account that they put, you know, towards like the mortgage or the kids or the college fund or whatever it is, I think that goes. But I think you're right, like obviously sometimes there's a pretty big gap in what people make in terms of like you know, one partner might make way more than the other. Sometimes they make the same, but like if that is the case, then I do I would understand being like, okay, you might put in a bigger portion just because that's what you make, and I'll put in what I can make. Right, right, right, correct from what I make. Correct. So that part makes sense. And I do agree with you, that's probably the healthy way to do it. Yeah. Cause then you also, again, you're also you're working hard for your own money. Yeah. So you deserve to also spend some of it how you want.
SPEAKER_01Because it's like, it's like financial freedom and just like personal freedom. I feel like, you know what I mean? I'm like, okay, like this, this is I'm pulling out this card because I'm taking my girlfriends to lunch. Right. I'm not putting that on what we're saving for the house and kids. You know what I mean? Like that's what my that's what I made for me to be able to like live my life how I want to. And I think that makes room for a healthier dynamic in regards to finances, where if we didn't have the separate accounts and I'm taking my girlfriends out to lunch, and then and then your partner's like, okay, I'm working my ass off, and you're over here taking your girlfriends out to lunch, you stop to get Botox, your Soul Cycle uh membership and this, and what and I'm like, hey, sorry, you know what I mean? Like I don't want to feel guilty. Then it gets messy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and I do feel like in my pri previous relationships, like financial resentment became a thing because it did feel like I was, you know, uh putting in more than I was getting out. And so that's an interesting it leads to a lot more deeper things intimately and whatever. It's just like a big topic that leads to like a and we've kind of talked about this before.
SPEAKER_00Um, I believe with Aubrey too, but um, just the idea of like dating someone either in your tax bracket, out of your tax bracket, like some people really do want that dynamic of like you're gonna take care of me and I wanna sit back and be baby girl. You know what I mean? Yeah, and as much as I want to say that it sounds nice and oh my god, yeah, I would love for somebody to take care of me. Hey, we we want to be baby girl. Yeah, we want to be baby girl at this time. But we're in the time. No, it's like it's like what is it? Like, I was born, I was meant to be baby girl, but I was born to be independent. Like, you know what I mean? Like I I as much as yes, it's always nice to have a gesture made towards you or to be taken care of or whatever, at the same time, I don't know. And maybe it is my ego, to be honest. Like, I think my ego would be blown knowing that I couldn't take care of myself or my partner. Like that would hurt, you know. That would really hurt. That would hurt, it would hurt, and I just wouldn't want to be in that situation. So sometimes I'm like, even having someone to just match your level would be amazing. Yeah, and how how do you feel like that plays into friendships? Woof. Yeah. Um that that's I feel like to be honest, I feel like the friendship one is almost harder than the friend than the relationship one.
SPEAKER_01Because when you're in a relationship and you're in love with someone, yeah, you kind of are willing to do anything for that person. Where friends, yes, same thing. Like anything happens, like I am there, the first person there. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, I totaled my car and you were you dropped all your plans to meet me on the side of the road. Like you had to move, I'm like, all right, girl, I'll be you know what I mean. So, like in in that regard, but in regards to like vacations and things that you want to do on the day-to-day festivals going out, music festivals going out, yeah. It it can be hard when um friends are not, I don't know how to say, like, are just not in the same financial bracket, you know, or like they're you know, you know, just at different chapters of their lives in regards to that. Um, because there is sometimes like a feeling of like, dang, like I really wish you could be here. I know that that's not realistic for you right now, but then it feels like you know you're missing out, or you know, then you feel a little bit of guilt because you know, your your friend who you knew would want to be somewhere isn't doesn't have the means to do so in that moment. And um yeah, I feel like I've I've ran into that, you know, a few times. And I've also been on the opposite end of it. Right. Like I when I was younger, I was the friend that couldn't go anywhere or couldn't do anything. And like I remember when I was young, like my friends' parents would pay for me to go on vacation with them, and I was like, oh my god. And then it's like, but then that's not the greatest feeling either. Like obviously I was very appreciative, but then you know what I mean? Because then, you know, even if you if we're to offer, then you know that that person feels guilty that you know what I mean. So whereas with a partner, I'm like, I need you there, so I'll pay for you to be there, and I'm not gonna be, you know what I mean? It's a different, yeah, I don't know, it's just a different exchange.
SPEAKER_00I mean, yeah, I feel like with friendships, it definitely sometimes it just is hard because you do feel guilty, and also same thing on as for me, let's say, I don't want to be a burden on anybody. Same. So if I can't afford to do something or go somewhere, I never want to ask for help. And I know that you sometimes can, but like in certain situations, but I but I never want to because I'm just going to feel like a burden and because I'm just gonna, again, maybe it's the ego thing, but I'm just gonna feel sad that I can't support myself to that extent. But I've also been same thing. I've been in circles or friendships where I'm not at their level and that I just can't be dropping the money that they're dropping, and that's fine, you know. Like at the end of the day, unfortunately, it doesn't always allow you to get closer to those people because you're just missing out on the regular activities that they take part in. But that I I also have to remind myself like those friendships can be had, they might look a little different, so those friendships can be had, but also I know that I will find my people if that doesn't feel right. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, 100%. So I don't know, it is hard, but life happens sometimes. I don't know, it's fucking hard though.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, life to be happening, life be happening, girl. Um okay, gal. Well, um I can't believe I haven't fucking packed anything. That's like the only thing that's on my brain right now is then like Jesus Christ. Like I have to go shopping, I had to pack, I have to get a haircut, I have to tan, I have to do all that. I have to do all things done, I have to get a facelift, I have to go literally. I just got Botox, like okay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I got my I got my Botox too. So if you guys see any crazy expressions, yeah, or lack of or frozen, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or lack of she froze, she froze. Yeah, um, you know, I'm so excited. I think it's gonna be an adventure of a lifetime.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and hey, we're we're gonna try to bring little mics, little mics so we can chit-chat with um probably do some like TikToks and stuff. Yeah, so stay tuned. Um I can't wait. And yeah, we'll hopefully have some good content, international content.
SPEAKER_00Oh, we're going overseas, paper girl.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and you know the stories that we're coming back with.
SPEAKER_00Oh, girl. I mean, honestly, I don't know if we'll be able to talk about all of them.
SPEAKER_01The stories you hear are gonna be like 2% of what actually. So whatever we say, just multiply that. Yeah, and then think of the worst possible thing, and that's probably what we did. Oh my god. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00No, honestly. Well, I can't wait. Cheers to um being gay. We're here, we're queer, we're ready to cheers. Cheers. Love you guys. Love you guys.