Useless Banter
Hosted by two best friends with too many opinions and no clear direction, Useless Banter is your new favorite dose of chaos, laughs, and real talk. From unhinged travel stories and the highs (and lows) of gay culture, to lifestyle hot takes, pop culture deep dives, and career confessions — nothing is off limits and everything is up for debate.
Whether you’re here for the humor, the honesty, or just the background noise while you spiral through your day, you’ll feel right at home. Tune in for the kind of conversations you have with your best friend at 2 AM — totally random, a little reckless, and 100% useless.
Useless Banter
Let's Play a Game - Cancel One, Confess One
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Three options. One has to go. No exceptions.
This week on Useless Banter, we're putting our questionable judgment to the test with a drinking game of "Cancel One." From hookup apps to dating habits, we're forced to eliminate one of three choices—and, of course, take a shot if we disagree.
Plus, we're diving into another anonymous Useless Confession, where a listener spills a secret they wonder if they should've taken to the grave. As always, we'll share our completely unqualified opinions, overanalyze the situation, and somehow make everything about ourselves.
Expect hot takes, impossible decisions and lots of laughs.
Grab a drink, play along, and let us know: Which one are you canceling?
Hi, my name is Luis. And my name is Brett.
SPEAKER_01Welcome to Use This Panter. A podcast where two best friends won't be. Shut the fuck up.
SPEAKER_02Basically, a podcast where we talk about a bunch of useless shit that doesn't really matter, but it's highly entertaining.
SPEAKER_01Heavy on the highly entertaining. So raise your glasses, lower your expectations, and let's get useless. Okay.
SPEAKER_02We ate that one. We ate that one, okay. Um okay. Well, hi. Hey. What's good, girl? What's good, mom? What's good? Mom. He gets worse and worse every time. Um, okay. Well, cheers to us being here.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And being queer.
SPEAKER_03And ready to cheer.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, speaking of, you're about to be a cheerleader. We just got asked to do this little um Oh my god, yeah, I'm gonna be living my fantasy. Yeah, we got asked to do uh this little music video that's like very cheer, cheery, cheer related. Yeah, and it's like with all the cheerleaders that we know, and plus Luis. So Luis is gonna get to live out his little cheer fantasy. Very excited. I'm glad that we can both do it. Hey, shocker. I'm like, wouldn't want to do it without literally.
SPEAKER_02At first I was like, oh my god. And then I was like, wait, I can do it. Um, I know me too. I was like fucking with mine, and I'm like, oh, okay, I think we're good. Yeah. Okay, sorry, the mic was, I was just making sure we're good. Um, okay, well.
SPEAKER_01Um, okay, so we're gonna do a little uh hot takes right moment. So um we're gonna go no cancel one. Oh, right, cancel. Okay. Rewind. We're gonna play a game. Hey, hey, this is how you know Luis calls the shots because anytime I try to do anything, it's like floppy on a McGee. Do I ever even know? I'm just showing up for a good time, not a long time, okay? Listen, we we live for the chaos, though, honestly.
SPEAKER_02And Ansu. Ansu. Okay, we're gonna play a game called Cancel One. So we have to cancel one of the options.
SPEAKER_01So you're gonna get three options. You have to cancel one, and then um you have to drink.
SPEAKER_02And that's the game. If we disagree, we drink, right? Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_01I think if we disagree, yeah.
SPEAKER_02And then if we agree, like honestly, we can choose on it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think, I think at that point it's just, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Just so everybody knows, if you're not watching, we have wine in the giant wine glasses, shot glasses, uh, about five of them, okay. And then we have chasers, and then we have a bottle of tequila.
SPEAKER_01So just ever so everyone knows, we are locked and loaded and ready to go.
SPEAKER_02And also, uh, it is not a school night, so not that it really matters. Just so you guys know, we are the worst.
SPEAKER_01We're actually really good. We're good, responsible adults, we promise. We we actually are. We have crazy. We really are. We have our we are the definition of work hard, play hard. Like we will get it done. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So so we're gonna go three different, we're gonna do three different things, and then hey, we're gonna cancel one, and I want you to cancel one in your head.
SPEAKER_03As you listen to it, scream at the top of the head.
SPEAKER_01And I hope you have a shot at tequila poured. Yeah. And if you disagree with us, then you have to take a shot too. And if you agree with us, take a shot. Work. Okay. So, first example. Yeah. Grinder, sniffies, the blowers. Oh, spicy automagine.
SPEAKER_02Um, oh, okay. If I have to cancel one, you have to cancel one.
SPEAKER_01That's actually really hard, low-key.
SPEAKER_02I okay, I don't really use sniffies. Okay. So I'd probably cancel it only because I actually do use grinder and the blowers.
SPEAKER_03I'm sorry, I mean I don't use any of that. I'm not on the apps.
SPEAKER_01Um, yeah, I feel like I would go with the blowers. You're also like newer. I'm a new member.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, wait, can I ask like what is the enticement of sniffies? Like, what is different about it?
SPEAKER_01Um, okay, sniffies is I feel like like sniffies is like more like about like cruising, and like I feel like there's it sniffies is the same basically as grindr to me. Okay. Um, except you just get it's a way wider spectrum. So there's a lot more people, I feel like on Sniffies. Oh, really? At least the way that you like perceive it on the app, there's a lot more people on Sniffy's than on Grinder. And like I feel like Grindr is more like just people in your area. You're limited a little bit, right? Like Sniffies is like such a wide spectrum. You can see everyone. So you get like wide. You can talk to everybody, you can talk to everybody. Wow. And um people are more direct or upfront there, like it's very like they're there to get into the point. Yeah, yeah, they're there. Like the it's it's a quick are we doing this or we not? This is what I want. Like, it's very much like I think it's maybe a little bit more kinky. It's a little more. I was gonna say, is it kinkier? I think it's more kinky. Yeah, I think grinders like a little bit more tamed, which is so crazy to say than sniffies, at least in my perspective. No, yeah. Over time. Um, but kinkies is definitely I mean, come on, kinky.
SPEAKER_03Should we start a new one called Kinkies? Honestly, kinkies is kinkies is a cute little name.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Sniffies is um a little bit more kinky for sure. Okay, um, people are more direct, more forward. And yeah, it's like what it's like a little less off the charts to say like your deepest, darkest, like I'm saying. Like you could really you could really get into the city.
SPEAKER_02Well, it's funny too, because okay, the blowers is also like while it's mainly, I feel like for like oral, right? I do feel like people get really kinky on there too.
SPEAKER_01Oh, for sure, for sure.
SPEAKER_02And it's like crazy because again, grinders like what everybody knows, like it's like the one, it's very hookup, but I feel like now it's become kind of like the tame version of these other ones.
SPEAKER_01I agree. Like, I you're more likely to find your boyfriend on Grinder than you are sniffies or the blowers.
SPEAKER_02Yes, like people there.
SPEAKER_01Blowers is very, very speci specified, so it's like um also it's crazy because in the blowers, you can leave reviews. That is so insane to me. And I was talking to this about someone, and that is so some black mirror type. Like it's crazy. The fact that you have a sexual encounter with someone and then legitimately leave a review afterwards. Like, if I were to ever receive a bad review, I don't know how I'm gonna handle it. But it's also okay, well, I don't think that people really leave bad reviews though. I've never I've honestly never really seen one. Yeah, it's like I feel like if you were to leave a bad review, it's just you're not gonna leave a review at all.
SPEAKER_02I was gonna say, yeah, which is true. I do feel like maybe it's a good thing, like in case somebody is really out there like mistreating people. Yeah, people could be like, hey, this is really messed up.
SPEAKER_01I agree, I agree. But then it's like at that point they're probably gonna delete their account, like it's like whatever. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I I think that the and I I think the blowers is really great for people who are so into more, I mean, oral just in general, but like I think that like a lot of people in our community and like power to them. I love them, I respect you, I personally love you. Um, people who are like like orally gifted and like really passionate about they love servicing, giving pleasure, yeah, servicing and giving pleasure, like that is the perfect space for them because they're like being rewarded like publicly for the work that they do. And like I myself am appreciative of the work that they do. Like, I'm like, no, genuinely. There are some people who there's some people who, yeah, like, and that's like that is their like sexual like realm, you know? It's like and it's literally perfect for them. And then there's people who love to be on the receiving end of that, but it's like I feel like even like the reviews and stuff are more geared towards the people giving than receiving. So not always.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I yeah because sometimes they talk about how the other how the receiver treated them or how they what they're working with. So it's like me.
SPEAKER_01But on there, like it's you're either a blower or a blowy blowy, which a blower is the one giving, and then a blowy is the one receiving. So like I'm on there as a blowy, and I've like, I mean, I literally got two reviews. I will say though, like it's it is kind of like like it makes you eager to get a review. I see, I see. You know what I mean? It's like you you want to do the transaction, but then it's also like you're doing it for the review almost in a way. Yeah, you know, it kind of adds this like extra pressure, which is also like feels so black mirror and is so like ego-coded in regards to like where we're at right now in society and just within our gay community, it feels a little bit spooky.
SPEAKER_02I to be honest, I haven't really been on it in a while. And I think it's because part of it was kind of like I was I've chatted with people on there that are like so like, oh my god, yeah, I want to meet up and get a review or something like that. Like, that's the vibe. And I'm like, I don't really, that's not why.
SPEAKER_01Or I mean like, I'll give you one if you give me one.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and I'm like, I just want to kind of like we won't we lost the plot, yeah, yeah. So it's like, don't get me wrong, like, I will leave a review if we have a great experience.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but I people live leave MLA formatted, detailed, detailed resources cited, creative writing major, literally poetic descriptive, like yeah, of the entire exchange. And I'm gonna spread a short story. I I myself I've left two reviews, and they're both like 10 out of 10. They're like fire emoji. Like, I'm like, I'm not about to be using my poetic skills on this right now, but like it was great, you know. I agree, I agree.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I'll I'll leave a little, you know, one, two, whatever. But like it's I'm about to look into your comments.
SPEAKER_00I got some good reviews on this, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.
SPEAKER_01No, I know. I gotta come on.
SPEAKER_02And I'm I'm also I think it really comes on there as a blowy, not a blower.
SPEAKER_01Wait, me too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's what I'm saying. I'm also I maybe we should take a show. Oh, wait, okay, because we disagreed, so we have to take a show. Oh, we disagreed.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we had to take a show. Okay. He's like so excited. He's like, wait, we disagreed.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Cheers. Hey, this is what happens when you film on a Friday night. No, literally.
SPEAKER_02All right, oral. Okay, next one. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Next one. Get rid of one. Okay, cancel one. Oral, making out, cuddling.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that's a hard one. So fucked up.
SPEAKER_01That is so fucked up. Oral. Because making out and cuddling, I love.
SPEAKER_02Well, actually, wait, okay, are we talking just like hookup here? Are we talking like, okay, because I'm thinking in a hookup?
SPEAKER_01Look at you. Look at you.
SPEAKER_02In a hookup setting, I'll get rid of the cuddling because I don't need to be doing that. If it's just a if it's just a hookup.
SPEAKER_01I fully agree to that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02If it's just a hookup, oral making out, done. We don't need to cuddle. Right. If we're like together or like we're just, I don't know, more in tune with each other. Yeah, then like connected. If there's a connection, if there's a connection, then making out and cuddling is gonna really drive from.
SPEAKER_01I can get off on making out and cuddling at the same time.
SPEAKER_02Well, also because aside from oral, there's other stuff you can do.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. And it's like if I'm spending time with you outside of a sexual setting, I want to cuddle you. Yeah, yeah. And like making out for me is such a huge thing. Like if we're not making out, it's like there's no connection, then it's like, then it's like literally just a transactional hookup, period.
SPEAKER_02Like honestly, when guys are like, I don't really kiss, I'm like, then it's not for me.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I can be that person sometimes, but that's like if I literally want the experience to be transactional. And it's like I don't see like a connection with you. Okay, worked. We agreed. Okay. Wealth looks personality, cancel one. Well looks, looks, and personality cancel one.
SPEAKER_02I mean, honestly. Okay, well, okay, here's my two things. My first response was gonna be wealth, because I was like, like looks and personality, like money, whatever. But at the same time, I'm like, looks also go. Okay, like I personally am someone who, like, yeah, of course, we want to be attracted to the person we're attracted to, but like we're eventually gonna get old and grassy. So, like, we have to have personality. But I feel like wealth honestly is kind of at the bottom because it's like oh well, are we talking neither of us are wealthy? If one of us isn't, then one of us can be. I think it's your partner. Like what they have, yeah. What would you say?
SPEAKER_01I don't know. I'm I'm struggling with that a little bit because I'm thinking if I take looks out that I'm equating that to attraction. And I for sure want to be attracted. Attracted to my partner. I think that's a really huge part of it. I however like I've been with people that have not had wealth, and it's been fine. Yeah. Because like I am okay with being like a provider in my relationship.
SPEAKER_02Okay, exactly.
SPEAKER_01However, it is the older that I get, the more that I'm seeing how important it is that you are comfortable in your lifestyle and you don't have to worry about finances. And so that's really hard. So I'm like, I maybe could, if I'm so in love with their personality that I could put the I feel like I could put the looks on the back burner and we could live like this beautiful, happy, healthy life. Or like I take the weight, full weight of being the provider, and we have the attraction and the personality is amazing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I kind of feel like honestly, I just I don't feel like I could be with someone that I'm not like attracted to. And I'm not just talking physically, I'm talking also personality, right? Like those for two for me go hand in hand. And that's not to say you need to be like the most beautiful model person ever. Like, no, it's just the attraction. Like, if I'm attracted to you, that's that's let's like physic physical attraction is a part of it, right? Like that's intimacy, that's everything. Um, in that sense. So it's like I do want to be physically attracted to you, but also emotionally attracted to you, right? Right, right. The wealth, like, like I said, like we can figure that out if hopefully I'm making a hella money, whatever. You know, I don't I don't know, but I do feel like I will say that maybe the wealth is at the bottom of the list for me.
SPEAKER_01I think I think I'm gonna agree with that one as well. Yeah. Okay. Um okay. Let's see. Last one. Cancel one. Um I already know we're gonna agree on this one. Actually, let's do two quick ones because I know this one's gonna be quick. Cancel one. Bottoms, tops, verse. Cancel one?
SPEAKER_02Oh, like for us. Bottom.
SPEAKER_01We're gonna cancel the bottom, unfortunately. Like I we're I'm either looking for top or preferably reverse top, or verse. Like we, yeah, if you just are on the receiving end, we are not gonna need it.
SPEAKER_02No, yeah, yeah. Unfortunately.
SPEAKER_01Okay, last one. Okay. Um, cancel one astrology, therapy, or manifestation.
SPEAKER_02Astrology. Oof, you know. I'm not a big astrology girl. Like, sure, I tap into it, like, I'll learn about it, I'll be like into the vibe. Like, it's fun to like hear and learn, but I'm not like married to it. Like, for me, it's like, I'd rather, obviously, therapy has to say. Like, I'm like, let's take care of ourselves, babes, but also and let's talk and work through things. And also, manifestation, I just feel like for me is more a mindset, honestly. Yeah. It's like if you're if you're more like, okay, you know what? I'm gonna tell these things to myself, I'm gonna believe these things for myself, I'm gonna want these things to work out for myself. I'd rather you have that ambition than just be like, oh, it's not gonna work out because I'm a Scorpio.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Like, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01Ugh, this one's really, really tough for me because I so deeply align with astrology and believe in it. And I think I'm gonna have to say manifestation. Gaga. Wow. Because therapy is a non-negotiable. I want you to be working on yourself emotionally, and astrology is something that I genuinely really believe in. Like, um, and doesn't necessarily mean that like we can't be together if you're one sign or not, but like I truly believe in reading people's charts and the way that the universe is aligned at certain times, like, will tell so much about a person. And I feel like that's like insight for me that I really care about, and people I'm sure will drag me for this. Um, but I think that if you have if you're in therapy and you're taking care of yourself, I feel like hopefully you're gonna have a healthy enough mindset to be able to be ambitious enough to go after the things you want without necessarily having to like sit and manifest everything. Um, but like your birth chart is something that like is you can't like make up or fix or like whatever. It's kind of just like um it's it's there, it's set in stone, and it's something that I believe in. So I think like hopefully my partner with therapy and all the things will already have a healthy enough mindset to be able to go after the things that they want without having to like sit and manifest things.
SPEAKER_02Okay, I mean, yeah. Work. Well, I guess we disagree on that. So I guess what one more shot. One more shot, right?
SPEAKER_01I'm like, which one has uh orange one. Or is that pink? I know. Last one, best one.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god, she is full. Okay, cheers. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01My hope and my prayer is that one was rough, is that there's people at home right now either watching our video or listening with their friends and taking shots with us. That honestly, that is a dream come true, and you better fucking get it, girls. And they's and they's okay. Okay, okay. We do so after uh our last episode, you guys, we had a really great response um to our confessions, and a lot more confessions have been coming in. So we're gonna really try with each episode or every other episode to touch on one or two of them. Yeah, and give just like our insight or whatever. Hey, not that our useless insight really matters, but we are just gonna try to like fit them in. These are again, once again, anonymous, completely anonymous. They're people sending in about their stories. And um, so we found one that we're like it's feels like we feel like is really interesting to share.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. And also keep in mind this is like on uh like on demand. So like it depends what we get and all that stuff, you know, whatever.
SPEAKER_01So yeah, but we're gonna feel free to DM us, email us, the whole thing, send them in. We're gonna keep sharing them and yeah, let's get into it.
SPEAKER_02Okay, all right. So says, Hey guys, I need advice because I genuinely don't know if I'm overreacting. Okay, that's what we're here for, babes.
SPEAKER_01Okay, I uh first of all, I love an overreaction, so work.
SPEAKER_02And also, like, we're not professionals, we're just two gays living our lives, so like just keep that in mind. Okay, we're just out here giving our two cents, okay? Um, okay. I've been with my boyfriend, boyfriend, I'm just kidding, for a little over a year and a half. We live together, we have a great relationship. I was with my ex for three years, and I'm gonna go.
SPEAKER_01Wait, okay, this is a boy or a girl? I think it's a boy.
SPEAKER_02Okay, boy. Yeah, yeah, boy. Um, I just side note was with my ex for three years and I did not live with him, so uh crazy. Um wait, they've been together for three years. They've been together for a year and a half. Over a year. Over a year and a half.
SPEAKER_01Okay, I think that's fine.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. No, I agree. That's fine. I'm just saying, like lol of me. Okay. Um, we live together, we have a great relationship, and for the most part, I thought we were pretty open with each other, especially when it comes to sex. A few weeks ago, I borrowed his iPad. Spooky. While it was charging, while mine was charging. Okay, borrowed his iPad while mine was charging. I wasn't snooping, but when I opened Safari, a bunch of tabs were already open.
SPEAKER_01Woof.
SPEAKER_02Gaggy. What I found wasn't cheating, thank God, but it definitely shocked me. There were dozens of videos, forums, and Reddit threads centered around centered around humiliation and domination fantasies, not just casual dirty talk. I'm talking about entire communities dedicated to being verbally degraded, controlled, and submissive. The reason it caught me off guard is because my boyfriend is the exact opposite in real life. Gag, gag. It'd be different if he like was submissive. Right, right, right. Anyways, he's confident, successful, outspoken, and honestly kind of intimidating. That's a crazy way to describe it. Okay. If you met us, you'd probably assume he was the dominant one in every aspect of life. Sometimes that's how it be. Meanwhile, apparently online, he's fantasizing about being told what to do and giving up control. The thing is, we've never done anything remotely like that in our relationship, not even a little bit. Now I'm stuck wondering if this is just a fantasy or if it's something he's secretly wishing we were doing together. Part of me feels guilty because everyone is entitled to private fantasies, but another part of me feels weird that after I'm Two years together, I've discovered this entire side of him that I knew absolutely nothing about. I haven't brought it up because I don't want him to feel embarrassed. But now every time we're intimate, oof, I catch myself wondering if he's wishing I was someone completely different. Oh God. Fuck. So my question is do partners have an obligation to share things like this? Or are some fantasies meant to stay private? And if you find out your boyfriend had a secret kink he'd never mentioned before, would you bring it up or take that information to the grave?
SPEAKER_00Whoa.
SPEAKER_01Oh my God. That is first of all, I have the utmost empathy for you in this situation. Um, I want you to know that you're not crazy. No. But I will say, if your partner, I do feel like this kind of checks out a lot of people who are typically like super outspoken or very like in charge in real life or in their jobs or careers. Typically, yeah, um, it's those specific people that like to be dominated in the bedroom or like to be submissive because it's like finally the one thing that they can release control in and someone can tell them what to do. So I feel like that does check out. Yeah. I personally would also struggle in the way that you are with this situation. I am not someone that can hold my tongue. I am going to talk about it with my partner. And I think that if you guys are close enough, I believe that it would be maybe a conversation that could be really um I don't know what's the word, integrating or like can be really connecting for the both of you, where you can be like, listen, I unfortunately I went through your stuff. It is just what it is. Sometimes you just have to be honest about it.
SPEAKER_02And be honest the way you were in the story. I was not snooping, I just went to use your iPad because mine was charging, and this is what happened.
SPEAKER_01And so, of course, when I see certain tabs, I'm gonna look at it, you know, because um, I'm just curious. And when I see that you're a part of these communities, when you're really interested in this whole dom and sub kind of thing, I wanted to know more about it because it's nothing that we've explored in our sex life. So, like, I think I think so many conversations can heal so many things, right? So it's like ask all the questions that you want to ask, right? Because if this is your person, if this is the person that you're supposed to end up uh end up with, no question is gonna break the two of you, right? So, like I would ask, like, is this something that you've been interested in exploring between us in our intimate life? Is this something that you enjoy to be a private fantasy for you? Um is there something that I can do to make you more comfortable to share these things with me?
SPEAKER_02So here's what I think on that too. There's two parts. One, yes, I agree with everything you just said. Have an open conversation with him. Try to talk about it because sometimes even just even just knowing that it's happening, okay, you have to ask yourself some questions too. Because I was gonna say, sometimes just knowing that it's happening or just having that open conversation, if he's like, this is something that I need to do on my own, like, because to be honest, sometimes I feel like for people, it's like they also need to have that stable relationship, the like the normal, the normal see in their life, you know what I mean? Like the the relationship that you just think of when you think of a relationship. But then there's this other side, and I think sometimes that's part of the allure to people is having the secretness or the whatever on the like the kink part of the kink is like having that secret, right? It's something that's just yours. That's just yours. So it's like, okay, if you are someone, then you have to ask yourself, are you someone who is okay with, hey, let's just communicate about this? If you tell me what's going on over there, or like just tell me that it's happening, let's talk about it, and we can keep this what it is, and you can have that to yourself, then that's fine. But if you're someone who's like, I can't be with someone who has that secret side, or that other side, maybe even if it's not secret, then that's something you have to ask yourself too.
SPEAKER_01Cause it's like, I think that I I would struggle with that because in any relationship that I'm gonna be in, if I'm gonna marry someone, if I'm gonna be with someone long term, I want to be able to please them in every way. So I think a question that I would ask myself is do those kinks align with my sexual appetite, or would I be sacrificing my own personal like values or morals just to please them in that moment? Agree. Is that an experience that I'm willing to try with them to please them? But my thing is, what if they want to keep that separate? If they want to keep that separate, then I myself, I don't think that I would be able to stay with that person. And I agree. I whoever I'm with, like, listen, I am freaky. Like, I can get down with the get down. You know what I mean? Yeah, and I want to get down with the get down with my partner in every way that they anything, anything that they want to try, minus like obviously a few crazy, like in insane things. No, yeah, but like I have I have some boundaries, but like I'm really willing to try a lot with my partner, especially if we're gonna be in this long term. 15 years later, yeah, we we better be trying some fucking new shit. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02Like, well, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I think there's so I I I don't know, because to me, it feels like if you are hiding this whole sexual fantasy realm of in your head, then you're one, you're fantasizing a lot about a lot of other people because you know that I'm not giving that to you. And number two, you're creating a lot of temptation for yourself where like you may and find yourself in a situation where this kink is presented to you in person or an opportunity is presented to you in person, and you're definitely not getting it from your boyfriend over here. So, like, yeah, this is your one opportunity to take it and you're gonna take it. Where, like, if you're already getting fed at home, you're way less likely to act on temptation when it's your deepest, darkest fantasy. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02And like, best case scenario, he does want to explore that with you. Like, best case scenario, he's like, you know what? I did not think you'd be into this. So, like, let's dive into it. Let's get into it. And that could be amazing. Ideally, again, there's two sides to it. I'm just thinking, let's play both sides, right? But like, if he does want to, if you I agree, if you have that conversation and he does want to tap into that, because I'm the same way. If I would rather you communicate what you want with me and we can see if it's a match, if it's a fit, like if it works, right? But I do think a lot of times, even though, again, we've talked about this before, but even though like I feel like in West Hollywood or in a big metropolitan city, like especially being gay, like kinks are a little more open and like uh normalized in a way.
SPEAKER_01Um, I do still feel like certain people are afraid to talk about them, or they think maybe that this one's too far, or like especially if you're like if it's like a demasculating one, like like it's like the one who's masculine in the relationship really wants to be submissive or demasculated or you know, all that stuff. So I think it's like also like a vulnerable thing because they may be accepting to change the dynamic a little bit, and you guys would both have to be accepting of changing the dynamic a little bit, but in their deepest, darkest desires, it's like I want to be able to be all that for you.
SPEAKER_02And I will say too, like, because I've had friends go through this where you don't realize you're into certain things until later. Right. So like it could be a new development, and like let's say he's like, oh my gosh, I didn't not think I was into it. He's still unpacking it himself. Yes, yes. So like that could also be a part of it because that shit happens later in life sometimes.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, no, I mean, I feel like I'm into like my my appetite has shifted and changed, and like I'm into things now that I used to not be. The things that I used to not be, I'm not into them anymore. Like, I, you know, the older that I get, it's like I'm we're constantly evolving. So maybe it just is a um an update or or a like an testament of evolution, of course. You know, yeah. Um, and obviously, if this is like your person, you want to love your person through all of the things. And this has always been my thing. If I love someone, not a hookup. Because when it's a hookup, my boundaries are strict. Right, right, right. Yeah. When it's a hookup, my boundaries are strict. I'm into this, I'm not into this, I'm doing this, I'm not doing this. Yeah. When it is someone that I love, I can get down with just about anything to do with them.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know what I mean? I'm like, I'm I'm okay with being vulnerable. I'm okay with switching things up, like whatever, because we've already built such a connection that it's a safe space. It's a safe space. And like I'm I'm just willing to try. And um I think that hopefully within your relationship, you guys have enough of a foundation where you can tell them, tell your partner you are willing to try and you are willing to be vulnerable with them. And then from there, you guys see how that it is. And if there's no compatibility within this new evolved form of each other, of him, of his appetite, then maybe it's gonna be one of those things where you have to make a hard decision and this relationship is no longer gonna serve the evolving versions of you guys.
SPEAKER_02And that's hard, but like it's really hard. I I feel like, I mean, unfortunately, a year and a half is still a long time, but like at least I feel like you found it out before yeah.
SPEAKER_01Some people are in it married for 15 years, babe, and then it's like I'm gay.
SPEAKER_02Right, exactly. And like it's not not to say it makes it easier because it doesn't, it still hurts no matter what. When you love someone, you love someone. Yeah, when you love someone, you love someone, but like at least that, and like again, just have that open conversation and see where it can go. If you're open-minded about it, give it a try. See if see if it's something you like. If it's if you're off the bat, like I'm not into that, then like that's different. But if you're like, you know what, for the for this person that I love, I'm willing to try it, then like what's to say you won't find out something that you like.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Who knows? Well, Gagan, okay. I think that's I think that's gonna wrap us up for today. Let's go. Okay. Um, keep sending us in confessions. We're gonna keep going over them and giving our useless opinions. Um, so send it in. We love you guys. Smooches signing out. See you next time.