Ep 16: Your Body Already Knows: Reconnecting to the Wisdom Within

Your body has never stopped speaking to you. The question is: Have you been listening?

In this episode I am sharing my own story of disconnection: years on the mini pill, living in a relentlessly linear and masculine way, powering through exhaustion, ignoring every signal my body was sending and wondering why nothing felt quite right. I talk about what it actually took to start coming back to myself, what that shift looked like in real and unglamorous terms and why it is not a quick fix, no matter how much we live in a world that tells us it should be.

I also share some of the simplest, most accessible ways to begin listening to your body again. Not because I am here to tell you what to do but because I genuinely believe that the answers you are looking for are already inside you. They always have been. We have just been taught, over and over again, to look everywhere else first.

This episode is for the woman who feels disconnected from herself and does not quite know where to start. It is for the woman who has spent years going at life like a machine and is starting to wonder if there is another way. And it is for anyone who needs a reminder that your body has been trying to talk to you all along and it is never too late to start listening. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome to today's episode of Of Silk and Soil. I am so so grateful for you to be here. Now when I was just sort of sitting down to like record this podcast episode, I've been thinking about it all day. And if you know me, that I don't plan them as such, I just see what was coming through, and there was like a lot of different things coming through for me today, and then when I just like sat down, like in my body, I knew instantly like what it was, and it is talking about our body today and the wisdom of our body because even though we live in like this very like busy, hectic, and noisy lives, and it's where we think that we just don't have the not necessarily attention span, but we don't we don't have the tools to reconnect to our body, we don't know what our body is saying, and so we essentially like neglect it, but the the truth of it is that we know like we know in so many different ways, like our body knows how to communicate with us and move things through us, and this is really what today's like conversation is about because this is what it is, it is a conversation, and it's that as I say, there is a lot of like talk about like reconnecting to your body and having lost that sort of connection, and some say that may have never not I don't want to say they've never been born with it because that's not the words that they're using, but they can't remember ever being connected to it, and there are a few like things that pop to my mind like stories, and I guess the the one that it's that's really hitting home for me most myself is like my little daughter when she moves through something and how she deals with that. So I don't raise her I want to say in a very particular way, she's like she's very free to do what she wants um within boundaries. So when I've I've noticed a while ago, and I've I I I did do a post about it on my social media, so you might know this story, but she was like really upset about something and she like she was like she was stuck crying and just like she just she was having a mud on essentially, and so she wanted a cut on the sofa, which is like her like a little safe space. So we cut it on the sofa. I didn't really talk to her, I just let her like move through it herself, and then I noticed her like moving her hips around not just like for a second or two, just for a long long time, and I was just I was just watching her, I was just literally I was not I wasn't I was scared to breathe at one point because I just wanted to see what she does because it's not something that I've taught her to do, like I know that you know the body holds all of the emotions and like it's holding on to it and like putting layers on our true selves essentially if we don't move those emotions through our body, but that's not something I'll teach my four-year-old, she's a little bit too young for that, so and I was just like really like intrigued to just see where this is literally all gonna go. So after she like after the SOP sort of m um stopped and everything, she was just staying there for a little while cuddling me, obviously borrowing my nervous system, and then she started like moving her hips and like circling them and just like moving them from side to side. Now, if you don't know, hips is a place where we store a lot of emotions, like a lot is as as women, there is a lot stored for us, especially as grown-ups, as adults, um, just accumulation of a lot of things, a lot of emotions and feelings that we have suppressed. So, which is why I found this really really interesting that she started to to like really move her hips around, just circling them, just doing like natural movements, what came natural to her. And as I said, just said like there was a point where like almost was scared to breathe because I didn't want to interrupt her and I wanted to know what like what was gonna happen essentially, because what she was doing is something that we as grown-ups and even myself, and I'm very aware of it, have almost forgotten. It's just like feeling the feeling, letting it move through us, and then releasing it through the body. That's essentially like what we need to do, and for various reasons, you know, we've forgotten how to do it, we've forgotten that this is even available to us, and or we just don't do it because we're too busy. That's one of the sentences I always tell myself, I'm just too busy. Um so I was like really intrigued, and I just I was just really like watching how what she was doing, and it's she was like we could it it was like a big mud and was like a lot of like emotions and feelings, so she was moving like her s her hips like for a long time and then eventually she stopped. She the whole time she was like cuddling me, but we didn't say a word or anything. We just I was just holding her and eventually she stopped and I was like, Okay, is that and then she started up again because clearly she felt like her body felt like it needed to move through like even more so, and then eventually you see she stopped, literally cut at me for like a minute or so, and then just jumped up and started like talking as she does, and I was like, Okay, so we've we're fit we're finished now. And I found this whole scenario, like this this whole thing that she moved through, so like eye-opening and just like a reminder, just like yes, that's what we need to do. We feel the feelings, we like let it out, we let it move through our body, and then we release it through our body. Now, I the way that I often release um emotions or feelings is through exercise because in my brain, and this is not a brain conversation, really, but my brain likes to button, um that's the only way I can move the emotions out of my body, which is not very true, and my daughter is like the biggest example that I've just given you, but it's like for me, it's a lot of movement and almost like strength, like it just needs to that's that's for me what it like really feels like and what really seems to be moving and shifting a lot of things for me. So but it's I found that what my daughter was going through is so so interesting because as I as I said this is available to to all of us like even now like if it's safe for you to do so, not if you're driving or anything, but just do some hip circles. Like I'm just like sitting here at the moment, so my voice might go a bit in and out to be fair as I'm moving around in front of the microphone, but just doing some like hip circles without like having even any anything to work through on the right this second. I mean I believe that there's always something like to work through because there's always like feelings, emotions, like stories that we're suppressing, and there's always so much that our body is holding, especially as women, we're just holding on to like so much, and it's it's just like moving the body and like just like the hip circles just now. It's like oh yeah, that actually feels really nice. So even if you just do that now, just for a moment, and just like maybe place one hand on your heart, one hand on your belly, and just do some hip circles and just see how that feels like releasing your shoulders, maybe closing your eyes, maybe going into the opposite direction if you've been doing this for a while, just doing a couple more circles here, and then s just taking a moment here, closing your eyes if you haven't already done so, sitting up straight, head over your heart, heart, over your pelvis, and then just breathing here and just notice how like this little I don't even know how long that was. That was maybe a minute if it was that like hip circle, how much of a like difference that has made, like it's you know, things shifting, like things moving, and just maybe notice how this actually has moved something, like some of the energy inside of you that maybe was a little bit stuck, maybe it's like a little bit less stuck. I'm not saying like this doing this for a minute is gonna be like the big miracle solution for you. That's not what it's about, but it's about like getting more into our bodies, like listening more to our bodies, because it's just our body is so full of wisdom, and over the years, like we've really like disconnected from that wisdom, and like really disconnected also from our like monthly cycle. Like I remember when I was I I feel like I I felt like I was like really late with my first period, and I was like really looking forward to it, and I I just couldn't wait because I like in my head I was like oh yes, I'm gonna be like I'm gonna be a woman, I'm gonna be like there's some magic around it, I couldn't quite explain it, but like I knew it was something like huge, and I got my first bleed, and I'm just like yes, and I could like feel like this huge shift inside of me happening, and there was like like really this like ancient part inside of me like just knowing all of the things and it like it I was amazed, like my body was like all of a sudden like bleeding, it knew what to do, it just like it literally just blew my mind and then like life kicked in not being I guess educated enough around that or not not less so not even educated around it, but like not having enough wisdom and I think when I grew up like when was that in the 90s it there was just not oh god that makes me say the 90s that makes me feel so old like um late nineties it just like it times were just different, right? And we we may we didn't really have like necessarily the resources that we have now, so life very quickly kicked in for me, like the very busyness of life, like the the roles, the expectations, and all of these things, and then put on top of that that it was seen very much seen, like when you're on your period, that blood it's dirty. That's literally how I grew up. So I unsurprisingly got very quickly like cramps, like really bad cramps. So every month I was at a doctor's trying to get some painkillers for it until eventually when I was a six, I want to say I was 16 eventually I was then put on the mini pill, which I was on for decade, I want to say, if not more actually, yeah, probably more than a decade, and it's obviously on the mini pill you don't bleed at all, so I cut all of that out. So for a very very long time, I was very disconnected to my psycho, to my like women body essentially, and that's where I really felt like I was moving very much in my masculine energy, I was very much operating like a man because whereas now I find joy and like aliveness within my cycle and the ups and downs of my cycle. When I was younger, when I was on the mini pill, I I didn't I I didn't find this joy like the initial connection to my cycle and my blood and like the history and the lineage and all of that, like the red thread, that initial like head was there essentially that you know knowing it's it's something huge, but then no one there to like really talk about and not being really in the media. I didn't even grow up with internet, that's how old I am that's actually not true. I I just somewhat grew up with internet, but not nothing like today. Um but it's it was very easy for me to forget forget that initial wisdom that I got and was very much like in my masculine, just like doing it in a man's way, like living my life like very linear, like needing to be on like 24-7, like and it's it's it was only when I then started to think about oh yeah, I actually want to have kids at some point. I bet I get off the pill. And that was in my early 30s, I want to I think it was my early 30s, and that's when I then started to like obviously I came got into like the old the same old symptoms like really bad cramps, like passing out, um mood swings, like not being able to move, like all of the what I was being told is like normal. Whereas it's like oh gee, do I really like you know it's like I want to have children at some point so I need to I knew I needed to get off the hormonal um pill and like now looking back like I'm just like like obviously my body was just like screaming at me, of course I had like the like the cramps and passing out and like the extreme fatigue because even though I was off the pill, I was still going like a man, I was still linear, I wasn't working with my cycle at all, with the wisdom of my cycle, with my body. Like I didn't listen to what it really needed, and I mean now looking back, I'm just like what why did I do that? Like, I'm just like literally now where I'm just like really like working with my body, with my ups and downs, and with my cycle, and I know that I experience my cycle slightly different to what the book says. The book in quotation, but I know what my cycle is for me, and when my ups are and when my downs are, and when I have to be slightly careful, when I'm more creative, and all of these things, and it's like going from that, like looking back, just like trying to like work like a man, be a man essentially, like energy-wise. I'm just like, of course, I had all of these symptoms, of course. I never I never took a break, I never had an early night. I just I want to say I went clubbing. That's that that was a very short phase of my life actually. But there was always something more important than resting because resting was for losers, and that's how my that's literally how my brain operated, and it's honestly I'm it's I just don't even know where to find the words for this time, but this is where I was living in. It's it was just go go go go go. It was like overriding your body in any way, shape, or form just to keep going through your day. And if that meant like having like loads and loads of sugar, then that's what it was, and loads of loads of coffee, and that's what it was. And then I'm just like like looking back when we were just uh when me and my husband were trying to have a baby, and I'm just like oh my god, of course it took us absolutely ages because my body was just so battered, and my body I was just so disconnected from all of the signs until I wasn't until I started like connecting to like my body, connecting to like more the a spiritual around me, and like really tapping into my own inner wisdom, which my own inner wisdom is a lot of like spiritual and talking to my lineage, my ancestors, spirit guides and stuff, and I'm just like it's it's it's a lot of it like looking back is so unsurprising, and but also then comparing it to now, I'm just like how the heck did it even get here? Like, I was so so disconnected from my body, I wasn't taking care of myself whatsoever, whereas now I'm just like making especially now where I'm in like my perimenopause era, I was just like making sure I'm having like so much protein, I'm not having too much caffeine, I'm trying to go to bed early, like really trying trying like I'm I'm literally flipped essentially. Um not to an extreme, at least not yet, who knows? I'm I'm fairly aware, so I don't think I'm gonna go to the like extreme, but it's so so it's so different, and and I was asked the question the other day, it's like but how did you make that jump almost from like being very like linear in your masculine to like really being in your like feminine flow and it is literally just starting to like look after yourself. Um I'm not here to tell anyone like what um whether or not to be on the pill, on the mini pill, on whatever, on whatever medication that that's not my job. I just know for me not being on it was is a huge it made a huge difference. Um but it's it's it is really starting it comes down to like really starting to look after yourself, start tracking a cycle if you have one. If you don't have one, you can actually do it with the moon. And that is the basis of it. And like looking after yourself that entails like exercising, food, rest, working with your cycle. That is like really getting to know your cycle, really understanding oh, at this part of my cycle, I might feel energized, or I might feel like a little bit more. sensitive or vulnerable or whatever because we all have like these different emotions all throughout right and this is like honestly this is what it's about it's just like starting with yourself there are so many things out there just that say oh I help you do this I help you come back to yourself I help you connect to your body and I'm not saying that that's not true but I know for myself I started to take others advice and others' wisdom above my own and that's not what I'm here to do and this is why I don't teach it such I don't I I just share on how I help my clients unlock their wisdom I don't teach them how to do that we just journey and unlock it bit by bit and which is also why this like none of this is like a quick fix we're we're living in such we're living in a world where we want everything instantly and again my daughter is the prime example for that when we had a power cut was it power cut it wasn't even power cut it was just internet dropped out and she couldn't it that it was in her TV time and she couldn't watch TV on demand oh my god oh how broad clues so we are very much in a society where we want everything right now but to like get to our core to like really reconnect with our body that doesn't happen instantly as much as I would love it to be it just does not happen instantly and that is something that we kind of also have to realize and have to almost like let it sink in for a moment and it's really it as I say it does come down to it just like start looking after yourself and that includes boundaries as well so it might be and I had I had to like put like real strong boundaries in place especially now with like my perimenopause where I'm still where trying to figure out the pattern even though I think I've got it but it takes a few months to actually realize what the actual pattern is so but like putting like strong boundaries in place where it's like am I doing this because I want to because it feels good or because I've been told so many times I should be doing it and it should be feeling good that I'm doing it. Why am I doing it and I had to look at this like very much so in within my business as well which why it feels a lot of times within my business I'm chopping and changing when I'm really not it's just part of like coming like it's getting to not getting to know myself but coming home even more to myself and because I believe that's that's an like almost like a never ending journey you always can go deeper and deeper and deeper and then journey even more deeper than that and it's it's it's it's really those that those things it's just like coming back to your body to the wisdom because there is so much wisdom in our bodies if we were just to stop and listen this is why I do like my morning sit what I call literally my morning sit where I just sit down I sometimes do like a little mini meditation like a guided mini mini blah guided mini meditation then I might just connect to my ancestor or my spirit guides or I might just sit there and just like literally just be and it's a practice that has changed a lot for me I get so much inspiration there I get so many downloads through that and I get so creative doing that as well it's like I already have like 15 minutes before little before my little daughter wakes up come on like I don't like this is just so much coming through and it's all about like finding these like little ways for you to do that to really connect to yourself so for me it's like I have like my morning pages where I journal and my morning sit where I just meditate and just be um for others it might be like a daily workout or the like have a little ritual with their coffee or tea or whatever it may be. And this is why again I don't teach because what works for me doesn't work for necessarily for anyone else because it's uniquely me right and you are uniquely you so you need to find what works for you and what is truly you and I can't tell you that and no one else can tell you that no matter what anyone else is saying like no one can tell you who you are what you should be doing that really needs to come from yourself now what I sometimes what almost when I qu I almost question myself sometimes because sometimes it feels like someone puts a seed plants a seed in my in me essentially or someone says something and then a seed is planted and I'm just like okay is that is that actually my opinion or my feelings is that actually my seed or am I doing something because they said it and I think it's my seed and it's this is where you obvious this is where you have to sort of decide yourself and like sit with yourself and that's what I do I literally I sit with myself and I say is this seed is that mine or is that someone else's that idea like why am I doing it yeah and and the I guess the best thing is like at the or the best example a I want to say a couple of months ago I I want to say I've actually done a podcast about that as well um but I implemented a strategy in my business someone else was doing it and I liked it and I was doing it sort of my own way and then I had some success with it and I dropped it because I felt like I was getting too exhausted I mean there's a whole lot of like sabotage going on there but that's that's a whole different story and then I really like dropped that sort of strategy felt like quite bored with certain things within my business and then a few days ago I'm just I had that same seed again but I'm just like yeah but what if I do it but slightly different so I don't burn out or don't feel like I'm burning out and I've I've literally implemented it I think I'm on like day three or something like that day four I don't I don't really count and I'm just like oh my god this is so amazing it's nice like if I'm doing it like my own way and I'm I'm doing it more in a like a sustainable way for myself where I'm not too much under pressure and like really still staying away from social media like I as I say I have my boundaries and my boundaries on my weekends so I don't really want to post on the weekends I don't want really want to be online weekends because it's my family time and that's a boundary that I had to put in place even though everyone kept telling me or it felt like everyone kept telling me no you need to be online all the time even though that's not what they say that's still the energy that I've got from them and that's the thing as well right sometimes someone might say something but the energy that you get is something completely different so which is why you really have to tune into your own like wisdom and come back to that and I do hope that this episode has brought it back a little bit and like has given you some ideas on how you can do that and if nothing else maybe start your day off doing some hip circles for a few minutes every morning and then go on with your day and see how that goes if you really if you don't if you have no idea where to start start there and then start by like really number one tracking a cycle if you have one if you don't have one track track with the moon but track your symptoms and really start like looking after yourself like really treat yourself like a queen because we only have like this one body we only like have this I want to say one soul I don't know where this is just coming from but I'm just gonna go with it you should notice but I know um so it's just like we really have to look after it regardless of what like what stage we are in in our lives all right I think for today this is it this is the way we're gonna start talking for another 10 minutes not today thank you so much for joining in today as I say I hope you had some like ideas got some like maybe some seeds planted some whatever it is like some wisdom parted and that you can start to really start tuning into your body and start listening to what it wants and more importantly what it needs so thank you so much for joining today and I will speak to you next week bye