Ep 17: The Million Pound Vision

There are things we talk ourselves out of sharing. This episode is one of them.

Today I am doing something that feels deeply uncomfortable: I am sharing my million pound vision out loud. Not because I have it all figured out. Not because I am anywhere close to it right now. But because something inside me kept nudging me to say it and I have learned to trust those nudges even when - especially when - they scare me.

This is not an episode about strategy or a step-by-step roadmap to a seven-figure business. It is something far more honest than that. It is about what a vision like this actually stirs up: the conditioning, the contraction, the voice that says who are you to want that? And it is about why I believe that voice is exactly the reason to keep going.

I talk about what this vision is really rooted in, because it has nothing to do with vanity and everything to do with impact, resources and the life I know is possible. I share what it feels like to hold a vision that your current reality does not yet reflect. And I open up about how I am learning to run a business that moves with my feminine rhythm rather than against it, even when every piece of conditioning I carry is pulling me in the opposite direction.

This episode came through as a transmission. I had no plan for it and no idea where it was going. But I know it needed to be said and I have a feeling it needs to be heard.

If you have a vision that scares you, one you have been talking yourself out of sharing, this one is for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome to today's episode of Off Circle and Soil. I am so grateful that you're here for this episode for this transmission, and today is going to be a slightly different I guess subject or topic than what I would normally do. So I'm just giving you a heads up right there. Um also giving you a heads up. This is the second time I'm just recording this. Um the first one didn't feel right. I haven't deleted it, but we'll see how this one goes. Or not how but where this one goes. And today is all about the like my million pound vision. And it's there's something very much uneasy for me to like talk about like a one million pound vision, like that's just like oh something like really it's like contracting, and which is part of the reason why I really want to talk about it. Now I got the idea or the download for this subject for this topic whilst I was brushing my teeth this morning, and I dropped my daughter off at nursery or at preschool, and I kept getting this like nudge to record this. I have no idea what this transmission is going to, like I have honestly no idea, but I just trust that this is something that I guess needs to be heard and needs to be shared, and it's part of my journey, which is very much at the beginning, like looking at the like million pound sort of vision for me, like hitting that like number one, like a million pounds or dollars, whatever currency like it is for you, seems like a very vain goal, but there is so much behind it for me, so which is why it's a million for this moment in time, and I like I can see and feel into it, and I know it's multi it's multiple times, so but for this transmission it was very clear, it was like the million-pound vision, and like one of the reasons why it's like really uneasy for me is because it's because off conditioning, right? Like looking from the outside of it, like um like more of a I guess you would call it spiritual business, you know. I'm all about like coming home to yourself, like connect reconnecting to your womb, to your body, to like your intuition, like the inner knowing. It's not like a business coaching business, right? So it's like more of a spiritual like energy business. Like there is a lot of like preconception that you should number one, you shouldn't be charging for it, and number two, who are you to like have this huge goal to have this vision? And here's the difference, I guess, for me, it's not a goal, it's a vision. I it's I know I'm gonna get there. It might not be on my own timeline, like the timeline that I envision, but I know I'm gonna get there, which is why I call it a vision rather than a goal, and it's it's very much like breaking like everything all of the preconceptions, all of the conditioning down, and just like really peeling it back and like almost like blooming into this sort of vision, and I guess the the other part is I'm like so far away, I'm not even making a thousand pounds um a month at the moment, so there's like a lot of like heads, like my brain is like you can't do this. You like what the brain does, right? It it protects you, it keeps you safe. It's anything that it doesn't know or is uncertain, it it doesn't feel safe, it doesn't class as safe, so it will always pull you away from there and keep you stuck where you are right now because that is what is safe for your brain, and it's very much a case of for me. I'm not talking about anyone else, for me getting over that and just like staying with the vision, and I think part of that came from there's certain parts within my cycle, and I hit that I think there is another one coming actually, but um looking back there's yesterday I was in one of them where I'm almost like really not necessarily doubtful, I call it doubtful, but it's not necessarily doubtful, it is more I need external validation, I need external knowledge, wisdom to move forward within my business. And yesterday I got I went around it a little bit different, and when I'm that sort of in this mood, in this like mindset where my mind just literally runs off with it, um very much like oh let's grow social media, let's see who can offer what and all of that, and I'm just like yesterday. I was like, no, I'm not gonna do that. Instead, I'm just gonna put my phone away, and I will really focus on my daughter because it was she was home yesterday with me, and that was like so refreshing because by the end of the day, I was just like, Yes, I can see the vision, it's it is me, and I was so much more connected to myself. Normally, I would have just let myself go and just scroll and like oh who's what is this one doing? Well, who what is she doing? On you, you know, not in the sense of I want to copy it, it's just like oh, can I buy something from her? Can I learn something from her and all of that? And yesterday, as I said, it was just very much the energy was very different, and there's an energy that I've been working with within my body, and with my body, I guess with my body as well. I've actually made my business where I am like almost like preparing my nervous system, my body, like to be seen and heard by millions, and that is something that I'm still um getting used to, and like I'm still working with my nervous system too. That but this is something that I'm like working with, and when I just said that was just like part of me was just like oh god, speaking in in front of like millions of people, or like one of my reels potentially goes like viral and see being seen by millions of people and all of these things, and that's very much like a like nervous system and body response, which we can sort of work with, and that's what I do what I'm doing at the moment to really almost prepare myself for like the million pound business that I'm like working towards, I guess. And with like having like these like million pounds like almost like frequency, there's like a lot of conditioning that's coming out, it's like you have to hustle, you have to work 24-7, you can't be a mum doing that, blah di blah di blah. Whereas if you've been with me, if you if you if you know me a little bit, you you know this already, but if you're new here, I've been very much I run my first miss business in the height of like the bro marketing and the like hazard culture, and that is still very much a lot a lot of times within my conditioning, like you know, if I don't if I'm not working, that's part of me that that still thinks if I'm not working, um like lazy, um like I don't want it bad enough or something like that, which is an absolute BS, let's face it, because as women I know, and this is what I'm very much working with, is as women I'm I'm I'm cyclical, so I can't like work hours and hours and hours straight. That's just not how I work, and I'm also a human design projector, so it's very much like chill, I need a lot of rest from that perspective. Um, I'm a tourist, so I'm like very grounded, which actually helps me, I guess. But it's like this whole like vision that I have, it's just like part of me is like, oh I can't share this, like I'm nowhere near near that at the moment. I have no idea how I'm gonna get there. It's literally it's again, it's it's one of the it's it's it's a vision, and I know it's gonna happen. Same as so many things before, like my daughter's school, which seemed to be impossible. The house that we bought that seemed to be impossible. There's some other things in the pipeline at the moment for us personally that I know it's gonna happen. I don't know, I have no idea how, but I just know it's gonna happen. It's the same with like this million-pound vision. I know that's gonna happen, but I'm just like I can't talk about this, and but I know whenever I have this thought, oh I can't talk about this. Who am I to talk about? That I know I need to talk about it because that transmission that comes through is not only does my audience learn from that or get like wisdom from that, but I do myself as well, and being a projector, self-projector projector, that's what I do. I I use my voice, and there are so many things really that are coming up for me, just like how the he number one, like how the heck am I even gonna do that? And I'm just like the how doesn't really matter, like I don't need to have the whole pathway, I have no idea how I'm gonna get there, and I'm honest about that. But what I do know is like the steps to do like right in front of me. I've realized over the last few days that I very much procrastinate over my Instagram bio. I'd rather spend like 15 minutes or half an hour or even an hour, it's hard as to admit, but here we are. Um, an hour on my Instagram bio really refining it than actually putting up a post for my new programme. And I'm just like what the heck is this? It's like how what the actual so and all of these things when you start tuning into like the bigger vision that you have, and it doesn't have to be monetary because there's like yes, it is a million pounds, but there is so much more behind it, like it's it's the resources and the um that the the fact that that I can help so many more people in this world because you you operate on a whole different like level essentially, and there is like so much charity work that I want to do and give to, and I'm just at this moment in time I just can't at least not money I can give time, uh which I do, but it's like I can I'll be able to like that big vision of helping like women just to really connect to themselves and to to really have an impact. That vision is very much like linked to that million pound vision, and I think I've mentioned that in one of the like the first episodes I ever recorded that we have like that is a dream, but I know also it's a vision, um that for us to have like a huge piece of land where we have our house and then also we have two businesses, so my husband's gonna have um a business, and um I actually have like a yurt where I can like host retreats and workshops and one-to-one sessions actually in person as well with like some forest land, and it's I can see it, which is why how I know it's it's it's a vision, it's not a dream, but that this is something that we're working towards, and the impact we'll be able to do um when we have that is gonna be so huge, and like I don't think I have that so much. That's probably some of it there, but I know a lot of women have like this thing that money is evil, and you know you shouldn't want money because it makes you evil or it makes you look like you're greedy or whatever it is, but it's that's not really it. Money is about it's just resources and it's energetic currency, right? And everything that you do is energetic or has energetic currency. So me doing this podcast, me putting up my social media, my substack, whatever it is, all of that has like energetic currency behind it, and I'm just depositing it into the universe, just putting it all out there, and especially this episode, I know is like a huge deposit into like the into the universe in terms of energetic currency because it almost like makes my vision like a reality, like I'm speaking it into reality, and as I say, like I have no idea how but the how is not actually to me that important at this moment in time. I know the how will just it will come, it'll all just I want to I actually I partly don't want to say fall into place because it's not just gonna fall into place, but the path will become clear when I'm walking it, and I'm walking it, I'm taking it step by step, and I don't need to know five steps or ten steps ahead, I just need to know the next step, right? And for me, I know my like container, my one-to-one container that I'm currently working on. That is the that's a huge step because there's like so much I have like so much energy and so much goodness like invested in that, and I know that is that is the next step that I need to the next step on my path to that one million pound, and then when you have that next step, so I know the um that container is my next step, so I know my next like I know exactly what I need to do. I just need to get out there, I just need to talk about it, I need to, you know, enroll women into this container because I know how life-changing that's gonna be for them. So and this is I guess where my like logical mind very much kicks in, but it it's it's like marrying like the feminine flow, so just going going with what what what's going on. So even though I know like this this container that I'm working on at the moment, that is like my next step, I don't have a funnel or anything alike for it, because that is almost like for my like not, I would I don't want to say business mind because I'm very much business minded, but it just doesn't seem right for me at the moment. So, whereas everyone says, like, do an event for it, like do a freebie for it, or do a challenge, or do a low-cost group thing for it, whatever that's the funnel essentially, right? To get people into the offer, I'm just like nah, I'm not gonna do that. That's not where my energy needs to be right now. So I very much I marry like the masculine and the feminine within my business, and sometimes I go a little bit one too much in one way, but that's fine. But like with with this at the moment, I'm just like I'm very much like just feeling into the energy and feeling what it is that I'm guided to to do next, and to be honest, that's not how I've ever done business really before. I've very much heavily very heavily lent into the masculine, the strategy, like the steps that I need to do to get to X, right? Whereas now I think I've learned for myself what works for me, and that is just yep, have some structure, have a loose structure, i.e. you know, the next step, and then just flow with it, just just do what feels right, and as I just said, like for me, like having like this, these events from an energy point of view, it does not feel right for me. For me, it feels more right to like talk about it, to have social media about it, to talk to people about it, and I think this is almost like a skill that we've forgotten just generally, it's just like talk to other people, not in a silly kind of way, but just just talk to them. Like, what is it that you're struggling with? What is it that you need right now, right? And then either say, like, oh look, I've got this offer for you, or look, I want to this person, they might be able to help you. I do that so often, and I've always that that's something I've always done because that's in integrity with myself. Have I been burned by that? Yes. Have I been annoyed by that I've been burned? Yes. Am I still doing it? Yes, because I can't sit here and pretend I can help someone when I really can't, it's just not what I do or how I operate. So I very much like move move away from all of that, and like this like million-pound vision, like really helps me almost like tune into what it is that I want to do, and it like and on days like yesterday when I'm just like like almost like doubting, not as I say, it's not doubting myself, it's more looking for validation, and I'm just like okay, so is that what I would do if I would be running a million pound business? No, I just reconnect to myself, I just read a few pages of my book just to come back to me. I just go in a bike right with my daughter, that's what we did yesterday. Um, and all of these things, right? So having this vision really helps me almost stand the ground when I feel lost myself, and I I think also there is like this almost preconception that you like you can't be lost, you should you shouldn't feel lost or whatever, but you're going into unknown territory, right? Of course you're gonna feel lost, like, and I've I'm very much like I work with the void of in feeling lost, and I swear I I'm I probably feel more lost than not, but that doesn't mean that I'm not connected to myself, it just means that more and more layers are being peeled back to that true self inside, and like that true vision and the vision that you have of your life because even though I'm currently talking about like this is about my business, but like within life you have visions, you have dreams, you have goals, right? And they they will scare you and you might feel lost, and that's that's okay, that it doesn't mean that. you regress or that you're doing something wrong it's just that's what you do and we are yeah we're going on a I don't know why this is coming through but I'm just gonna show we're going to on a road trip to the south of France this year this summer and my husband still can't drive at the moment because he hurt his he broke his toe and hurt his ankle and there was part of me that's pretty sure I hope I'm wrong but it's pretty sure that I'll have to drive the whole thing by myself driving in the UK is fine whatever and driving in France I'm like scared as heck but likewise I'm just like is it gonna grow me as heck oh heck yeah it is gonna help me grow so much and feel like get confident as well in something that at the moment I'm thinking just like oh fuck how am I gonna do this like what if I'm gonna crash what what if what if what if right and our number one the majority of it is gonna be motorway like whatever and I also know it'll be absolutely fine but like it's almost like this anticipation of like this I mean driving in France is not a big dream like doing the road trip is like it it's a dream of ours and you know we we do we're doing it and like having like going to south of France on a family holiday which is something that I've dreamt of for like years and years and years even before we had our daughter and I was like yes that little bit of uncomfortableness and uneasiness it's definitely worth it and that's like that's the thing like you can you can apply this like to your life to your business you can get the wisdom from this transmission because there is I know there is so much wisdom in this transmission that is being just passed across within this podcast not necessarily not necessarily through the just just through the words but also through the energy and frequency that you are receiving and like as I say I have no idea why I was meant to talk about this million pound vision and what to even say considering I've been talking for 25 minutes and I don't feel like I'm quite at the end yet speaks for itself and again this this is also something like as as when we get like these nudges these ideas in our heads and then we talk ourselves out of it how many times have you done that I know I've done that a lot of times when I'm just like as I said like in the beginning who am I to talk about a million pound vision I'm not even doing a thousand pounds a month at the moment how am I talking about a million pound vision and it would have been so easy just to not come on here today and talk about it it definitely would be the easier way but like sharing like sharing the things and trusting the things that come through because they are coming through for a reason and like me sharing about this vision it is like this the whole vision is scary itself like it is so so scary but like also it's it's almost like it's it's out there and now need to show not not need to show up because there is that that's that's the wrong energy but I get to show up for it and I get to show up in like this million pound vision frequency because that's what I've been like really like working with and doing a lot of expansion work which is all internally none of that is like has it has changed how I run my business at this moment in time it's all just me internally what how how I show up how I react because that's the thing right we have it's not necessarily the situation but it's how we react to the situation so am I gonna go into a spiral and spiral down or am I going to interrupt the spiral and spiral back up again and that's that's what it is right that that's what makes a difference and you can spiral down and there are moments depending on where I am in my cycle that I spiral down and that's fine as long as I spiral back up and not like sit in this like energy I guess like and there's I f I feel it's a whole different podcast in itself but it's very much like we have to just be in this like frequency this energy we have to expand our capacity and really show up as the true selves that we are to like live the life have the business have the dreams come true that we like want to and for us to really appreciate those coming true as well because I can be like pretend that I'm okay and like yeah you've achieved this dream but inside I can still feel like really hollow because I've not necessarily maybe I've not achieved it the way that I wanted to achieve it in the sense of I'm not the person I wanted to be whereas I've I've also learned like on this journey just to really celebrate the seemingly small things so when my podcast had his had it first 10 downloads like 50 downloads 75 downloads 100 downloads I like really celebrated that because that's who I am inside I'm I I did like little happy dances every single time like every time someone listens to an episode of myself or every time someone comments on my podcast or social media or whatever I get so excited and I get so like grateful and have like little dances and like like the energy bursts and all of these things and this is what I want to take with me into like that million pound vision and that's why just doing these these things now like it's it's and and I think a lot of people talk about in this sense about oh you need to step into your next ver into the next version of yourself I don't believe any of that I believe we have all that we need like really inside of us and all of the things that like others sort of say like you know buy the lipstick or buy the whatever act as if be do have I feel I have a I I've done a either a live or a podcast on this anyway um it's it's almost like you we're faking it and that's not what we're doing well when we were looking at these this these visions the big dreams the goals that we have it's just like coming back to ourselves and it's like how do I want to be when I reach that goal that vision so with me like with the million pound vision I want to celebrate like every single milestone no matter how like seemingly how small so I start doing that now and it's it's very much it it all comes from like the inside of me and whereas like also a lot of people have like these million pound or million dollar goals like as a vanity goal like for me it really comes from the inside because I know how much good I can do with that money and how many resources and how many lives I can really change with that rather than just like oh I want a million pound business because it looks good on paper I don't care I need sore again I really don't care what it looks like on paper it's just for me it has like so much significance it's just like something that has never like I want to be the first like millionaire in our family I just do there's like this fire inside of me and I don't believe there's anything wrong with that because I'm I'm guided that way it's not just something that someone said to me oh you should be making a million pounds no it's it's that that vision came from inside of me and this is also how I know how whether or not like things really are worth pursuing it's just like is it something that's come from inside of me like really from me or did someone say you should hit that milestone you should have 10 000 podcast downloads maybe I should I don't and I I want to say I don't really care about that. I I do to a certain degree but it's just that is to me is just a vanity number to me it's more like the impact that I make with my podcasts and my social media and like comments like the the other day when someone um said they've listened they've done my birth birthday ritual which I recorded for this podcast and they had such a powerful experience and that means so much more to me than 10,000 downloads of the episode because those numbers mean nothing to me and I'm honest about that do is it nice from an ego point of view oh heck yeah but if it was nice from an ego point of view I probably would not be recording this podcast because like the my podcast has got not like those big milestones whereas others that have like literally launched their first episode and they have like thousands of downloads which is which is great for them but for me the this podcast like of circle soil which you can probably tell by the name of it is like it's all about connection like like that connection you can't really see or put into words but these episodes are filled with so much wisdom then passing on in the subcontinent that means so much more to me so get getting comments like that that the birthday ritual was like really powerful for them literally that is like like a million pound celebration to me just that okay so I actually feel now complete as I said I have no idea where this was gonna go but I am so grateful that you are here listening to this that you are still here and I would love to know what your big scary vision slash stream is and let me know so you can do that via my Instagram or comment below um but yeah thank you so much for joining in today and I will see you or talk to you next week bye