Ep 22: Feminine Flow: Consistency on Your Own Terms

There is a lot of talk about feminine flow. But what does it actually look like in real life, especially when you have a to-do list, a four-year-old and a business to run?

In this episode of Silk and Soil I am getting into the practical, lived reality of what it means to work with your feminine flow rather than against it. 

Not the polished version. The real one. 

The brain dumps and the morning sits, the posts that take two hours on the wrong day and fifteen minutes on the right one, the slow unlearning of linear thinking that was never designed for the way we are actually built.

I talk about what helped me move from living entirely in my head to genuinely feeling into what wants to come through and why that shift, as simple as it sounds, changes everything about how you show up in your life and your business. 

I also share why being in your feminine flow does not mean abandoning structure, it means making the structure work for you, not the other way around.

And yes, there is a little announcement at the end. One that feels entirely in alignment with everything this episode is about. 

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Of Silk and Soil.

If this resonated with you, I'd love it if you'd leave a review, it helps more women find their way here.

If you're ready to go deeper, I have a free Everyday Womb Meditation waiting for you here: https://subscribepage.io/1vpvfu  It's a simple practice to help you come back to yourself.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome to today's episode of Off Circus Oil. I am so so grateful for you to join me here today. I feel this is like a very special episode with like a little announcement at the end as well. And today, when I was feeling into what I actually wanted to come on here and share with you, I think it the thing that the theme that really came through is like feminine flow and just there is a lot of talk at the moment around and that has been for years really around consistency, and when we think of like consistency, we think about like linear, like consistency in a linear way, and that almost like every single day has to look the same just to stay consistent, which is great if you're a man because that works for you, but as a woman that doesn't quite go with like the feminine flow that really works against the feminine flow, and you know, don't get me wrong, I am a big, big, big fan of to-do lists, and I had to like I actually wrote one this morning. Now the difference is now I guess when I have this to-do list, I don't work top down, I just feel into what wants to come through today. So one of the things on my list was like recording the podcast, and you know, I got I just did the um nursery drop-off, got home, it's like yes, let's just let's do the let's record the episode because you know I I know for me like walking movement, it really like I that's when I download, that's when like the creativity comes through. It's like yes, let's just capitalize on that. That's the word I was looking for. Let's just like make the most of this creativity and let's just sit down and let's just like really have a talk about this, just really working with the feminine flow because I see this like on social media a lot where that there's talk around like the feminine flow, and that's all great, I love that, but then it's just like yeah, but what does this actually entail? You know, so if you've if you're new here, my like I'm from Germany originally, so I was born in Germany, so that comes through lots in in lots of different ways, and I am very practical, I can be very much in my head, so going from my head like into like my feeling, my body, my feminine flow, it took a lot of I don't want to say work because it's not work, but it it took a lot of like reprogramming some of the conditioning that I had essentially, and it is very easy for me to be in my head and be very logical and work through things in a logical way. So for me to like write down a list of things I need to do in no particular order and just like yeah, let's just see, like you know what wants to come through first, that's a huge, huge step, and that's not like how it starts off. I mean, for because for me, if I would have started off like that, there would have been so much resistance, and for some of you that might actually work, just like brain dump everything and then just feel into it. But with a lot of women that I sort of work with and talk to, like that feeling in part can be like really alien, it's like an alien alien feeling because I just don't know what that actually potentially even means because they're still trying to think on a they're trying to think their way into it, not feel it, and that's that's really what the difference is and some of the things if you've been here for a while you you've you've heard me say a lot of these things, but they are the things that really make the difference for me. So I try most most mornings, it doesn't happen every morning, but the majority of mornings I just try to do like a morning what I call a morning sit. So for me that's just like tuning in with myself, like just sitting still and just stillness and spaciousness, like there's nothing to do, like there is I have usually my coffee, I have the um baby monitor, baby, she's four, but like I've got the monitor with me in case she wakes up, and then I just sit and just see what comes through, what wants to come through, and that's a practice that that itself took a while to get used to, and I've previously I I've done which especially during like my yoga teacher training, I've done a lot of meditation, and I've I I like guided meditations, but I've also found that there is something about guided meditations they're great because I have a direction and I do a lot of like guided imagery with my clients, but my brain on like a daily basis, it was just something else to do, it wasn't it didn't give me like the stillness and the spaciousness. So these days what I really do is just not listen to anything. Um I'm really just I just I just am and because what I've noticed when I then started to move from meditate like guided meditations to like meditations with just background music or background sounds that I it took me a good 10 minutes to like switch off because my my my body my brain it wasn't used to that so it was just it was really just like my brain was just like constantly going and it it wasn't and I like yeah literally after like 10 minutes or so it would then start to calm down. So if you are doing a lot of guided meditations again the step to just sit there and just be might be quite a big step for you, so do a middle step and just do a meditation where you just have background music where you're not guided, and just notice how long it actually takes you to settle, and again, like it's like with meditation or just sitting because that's essentially like my morning set. I just don't I I don't have any like background music anymore. It's it's just checking in with your body and with your like intuition with your inner knowing what wants to come through for that day, what maybe needs to be done again. This is going very practical, but quite often when I sit there, like something comes through, like almost like out of the blue, and I'm just like, Oh, okay, I need to do that, or like an idea comes through from a business, or like a meditation or a guided womb healing, whatever it may be. But I've learned for myself that only comes through in stillness and spaciousness, and I'm not saying that's the same is gonna happen for you because you need to work out for yourself what works for you, because I'm not here to tell you what works for you, I'm just telling you what works for me, and then it's up to you to like almost like experiment what is gonna work for you, which is like half of the fun. But for me, like really like this stillness, but even if this the stillness like will be like very uncomfortable in the beginning, I can guarantee you that, and you know what? That's okay, we can sit with the uncomfortableness because we're not used to be still anymore, right? So, even when we're walking, we're listening to music, we listen to the podcast, we're almost like multitasking constantly, and I've come to the point now where I'm just like, Yes, I know I want to listen to this podcast, but actually just wanna like on the like nursery drop-offs for example, I used to like listen to podcasts because that was the only time I really had, and I probably still it's probably still the only time that I had now, but like there came a time where I was just like no, I just need to like I just want to be with my thoughts because as I said in the beginning, like when I move, especially when I walk, there's a lot of like downloads that I get creativity coming through, there's like a lot moving through me, and something in me gets activated, and again, that only really happens when I'm distraction-free essentially, so no no background anything. So it again it took me a while to just on these wall like on the drop-offs and pickups on the school runs essentially, um, to just just be again, and all of these like things is a is a practice, and it's all of these things like bring you back into your own flow, and that is what like feminine flow really is, it's just being in your own flow. So there is in my opinion, like no one way because there isn't we are all different. Like, if we're just looking at like on like looking at the body at our cycles, they're all different, they're all we might even like there might be you know we might have the same length of the cycle, but the seasons within that the feelings that we have they're all so so so different. So and that is just like that's just like the feminine like magic, that that's like the magic of being a woman, right? So being like in your feminine flow, it's all about just really being you like doing what works for you, and like as I said, you know, I like what to do this for today. Actually, that's not for today, that's for the rest of the term. I just wrote down what I needed to do, like what really needs to get done. There's certain things you know that that really need to get done because I can't do that when Sophia is off. Uh because I spend again if you're new here, um, I have my four-year-old daughter, she is in her second to last week of nursery or preschool, and next Friday the term finishes, and summer holidays start, and then in September she starts school. So this summer is like really really special for me. So there is like I feel like lots that needs to get done before we break up. So I literally just brain-dumped everything down. The things that I need to do, that I want to do. There are certain things that I really need to do right now, other things I can do in the evenings when she's off during the summer, so because she's sleeping, etc. So it's just I literally just dump that down, and I'm just like, alright, so feeling into what I want to do now, what I you know, and after I record this, I'll see what I want to do if I want to upload it straight away, or if I want to do some other bits and pieces. There is for me, there is like no right or wrong because I'm just listening into like what's coming through, what what really is like the essence of my flow at this moment in time, because the more we listen to our flow, the almost I want to say the more we get done, which sounds like very practical, but that's what it is, because we're going we're not going against the flow. So, for example, if I so my creativity is very let's say very flowy, like very like I I know what I can do to get my creativity up, but there are certain times and certain times of my cycle when I'm just not creative whatsoever, on those days I could sit down and for example record this podcast or write some posts for my social media, and that would take me absolutely ages, and I probably would not even finish it because I'm not creative in that moment. Whereas I get like these almost random ideas at random times, or not not random ideas, but ideas at random times or random points during the day during the week. If I just write the majority of the stuff down, then I pretty much have my post there. I might just have to fine-tune it, find visuals to go with it, all of that. That's fine. But like a post that on a non-creative day, for example, took me would have taken me two hours, and posts have taken me two hours, versus like when the idea comes through when I'm like creative when I'm in the flow, maybe 10-15 minutes. That's like an hour and 45 minutes saved, like literally right there. So, how many posts can you do with like within a two hours when you're actually in flow? And that's the thing with being like productive and consistent and all of that, because you can be consistent in your own way, and the the one of the really like almost fun things being in feminine flow is you can change your mind and you are allowed to change your mind. Just because you set your like you set you set your mind to I don't know something, it doesn't mean you can't change it, you can change it, and which almost like leads me like nicely into like the announcements that I was gonna make at the end, so I might as well do it now. But one of like the thing that I wanted to like really announce today, which really goes really well with the episode today, and I go into it a bit more, is that I'm actually going to take a break from this podcast until September, and there was like almost like a lot of like an inner fight going on inside of me because I was like, I really want to do these podcasts weekly, and they like they do so much for me. Like when I just sit down, I love I love the ritual of sitting down, like having my drink and just sharing stories with you. I absolutely love that, but also on the flip side, it's after next week, it's the summer holidays. So when you listen to this, um like at the what is it middle of July, it's the summer holidays. I don't I have I'll have my daughter 24-7 for six weeks, and it's I'm just like as much as I want to like record these podcasts and come on doing this over the summer holidays for me started to feel really forced and going like against my flow, going against what what it is that I'm trying to build here, and also almost against my values because I want to show up here being like giving you like the the magic like the story, like giving you value, just giving you stories to like really take away and just find your own way in in them, and and I'm just like if I have to sit down like every week and like almost like force myself to record them, they're not gonna be great. Plus, I want to be like one of the reasons why I've started this business because I want to be present and I want to be there for my daughter, and like this summer holiday, it's not the first uh summer holiday that we spent together, but this one feels like very special, like it seems like very huge in so many ways, and one of one of the things that we me and my husband said at the beginning of the year is we both felt that this year was gonna be huge, like on every single level, and it has been and it continues to be, and I think like this summer is gonna like almost like peak to a certain level. So I very much made a very conscious decision, like I was like, no, I'm gonna step away from the podcast over the summer, come back in September, and have probably like loads of stories to tell, but then likewise, don't be surprised if I just come on like random and there's like random episodes that I've recorded because something came through and it just needed to be said, and that's what I mean with like being consistent, and you're allowed to change your mind because yes, even though I said I'm taking like a six weeks break, a six-week break, to be fair, it's probably seven weeks. Um I'm taking a break over summer, let's just leave it as that as that. It doesn't mean I can't drop an episode if I feel like it, that you know, we are as women quite often so much in our heads and so much in the rules that rules that we gave ourselves like to like really just almost box us in. So today's episode is just really your reminder is just like feminine flow is whatever it like whatever it means to you, consistency is whatever it means to you. You're allowed to say no, you're not allowed to change your mind and change the rules for yourself. We so strict quite often, and I think like that really really has to end. We just really have to feel into our bodies and feel into what it is that we want to build, whether you have a business or not, like we're building a life, right? So what it what whatever it is that you want to build, what what do you want that to look like and I think with this like reflection for yourself, I actually want to like end this podcast today, this episode. Um thank you so so so much for tuning in today and really sit with that reflection for yourself what do you whatever you're building, what do you want that to actually look like? And does it look like that now? And any rules that are in your head, do they actually support that? And instead just taking some time to just sit in stillness and in spaciousness, just two minutes, just five minutes, whatever you can, and then just see what comes through. Alright, I will leave you with that. Thank you so much for tuning in today. As always, if you have any questions, just let me know. I'm still around over the summer, I'm just not recording podcasts. So just feel free to contact me um on the details in the show notes below. If you have any friends or anyone that you think this would be helpful for this episode, please share that with them. And I will see you on the next episode. Bye.