Stop Being a Lazy Friend

When did it become normal to not show up for your friends?

In this episode, I talk about the shift in friendship culture from canceling plans, “protecting your energy,” and how sometimes it feels like we’ve lowered the standard of what it means to be a good friend. I get it, we’re all tired. But there’s a difference between real burnout and just not feeling like it.

We get into flakiness, last-minute cancellations, and why consistency matters more than any excuse. Because it’s not about being perfect, it’s about showing up for the people you care about.

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Editing by Julie Bishop

Cover Artwork by Angelina Richeson

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

The truth is that being a good friend isn't always going to be convenient. A little inconvenience, a little showing up when you don't feel like it, that is what friendships are for. Not just for, but that's what you do in friendships, and that should be the norm. And that's why they are our friends, because they are the people that we will show up when it's an inconvenient time. With me, Julie Bishop, just a tall girl in this world, trying to make sense of life, dating, money, relationships, identity, culture, you know, all the things. I've learned that my thoughts don't always land with the people around me, so I'm here to break it all down, talk it out, probably over share, and maybe find some who don't think I'm totally crazy after

Intro

SPEAKER_00 1:07

all. Hi, hi, hi! Welcome back. How are we doing? How are we feeling on this another wonderful Thursday? Um, we're getting into May now, which is wild. I can't cannot believe that. Who is who's allowing that to happen? Um, but yeah, welcome back. Did you listen to last week's episode? I kind of like went off. I haven't something just took over me and I just kept ranting and everything was flooding back from my past days and I couldn't control it. Um, but no, seriously, if you've ever worked a customer service job before, you you sh and you haven't listened to last week's episode, you probably should. I think you find it very relatable and very, very funny. Um just knowing all the all the craziness that customer service employees have to go through. So if you haven't listened to that one

Is Being a Lazy Friend Normalized?

SPEAKER_00 2:02

yet, you should. Um, but today let's just get into it, into today's spiral right away. Um is the day I wanted to talk about friendships and how I feel like it's been more normalized to be lazy in friendships. I feel. I fear and I feel. I thought I said that wrong. I fear and I feel that that has been more normalized. Like what happened to the times of showing up for your friends, no matter what. There's no doubt, no question, you are there for your true friends, your best friends that you people you care about. You show up. You show up and you're there. No questions asked, no doubt, you're gonna be there. I feel like now it's way more common, no matter big or small, in times of need, in times of an accomplishment, an achievement, an event, a wedding, a birthday, a work like accomplishment, etc., that it's like more normalized to like not always show up or to cancel last minute, or like, uh, you know, I'm tired, I don't feel like going out, and then cancel. Oh, I have a little headache, I don't have the energy. Like, I'm seeing this more and more, and I didn't even realize it until like looking around and seeing it in people in different friendships and like on social media too, I think, has more normalized it. And I'm just like, what is going on? What happened to riding or dying, riding or dying, ride, being a ride or die for your friends, and like wanting to be there for them and not letting a little inconvenience stop you, like it should be no questions asked, but it's just baffling my mind how I'm seeing this. And when when you're talking about a friend, I feel like those little things, if it is a little thing, like, oh, you know, I'm very tired. I'm like, I'm tired, I'm like something small, I coughed once today. Like, unless it's a death or you're in the hospital, what happened to always showing up? You know, that those should be the standards, the normalized standard, unless like something really crazy happens and you make up for it in a different way. But I'm just used to like it's not even supposed to be a thought or a doubt or a question on whether or not you show up in support for someone that you care about. And like now there's this culture of canceling plans last minute, and that's like getting praised and like more like tee hee hee. I feel like like I'm gonna cancel, I'm gonna cancel last minute, and the whole idea of quote unquote protecting your energy sometimes gets taken too far. Sometimes, and I don't know, I just feel like friendships just used to mean a little more effort, and the standards have like quietly changed. I think you're it's not always gonna be comfortable. Sometimes a little discomfort is okay, and you're supposed to do something for other people, even that means a little bit of discomfort for you. Now, I'm all for a healthy boundary and protecting your mental health. And but I like when I say this, I want to emphasize healthy. Of course, I'm gonna like spiral out here and be devil's advocate because I know people like you say one thing and people are gonna be like, well, what about this and what about that? It's all about like just not thinking about the extremes. We're thinking about just standard day-to-day, right? Okay, so I'm all for a healthy boundary and protecting your mental health, but there's a line, right? There's a line between a normal healthy boundary and just being lazy and just being lazy. And I feel like one of the most common phrases right now in friendships is I don't have the energy. And look, look, there are days where I don't feel like socializing and I don't want to be on, and I want to stay home and just exist in my home. And I don't think all of this is necessarily coming from a bad place, but I just think like we're in a day where people are more aware of their mental health, right? We're more aware of limits and burnout, and all of that is real and it's great. But again, there's like lines with everything. Like, I do think we've kind of normalized checking in with ourselves almost to the point where we almost always choose the most comfortable option. And life is hard, the world is burning down out there, it's batshit crazy. I know, like we live in such a crazy, crazy world in time, and yeah, and I don't disregard that, but at the same time, life keeps moving, our lives keep going, we gotta keep living our lives. That's really like a survival tactic. Is we do gotta like we can't just be a hermit and be afraid of the world forever. Like, we do have to keep living our lives, and I just feel like if everyone is always too drained to show up for anyone, then no one is showing up for no one or anyone, and we've just kind of lost the plot. Because even if the world is burning down, the people like the things you need most are the people you care about, and those are the people that you should want to go above and beyond and make extra effort for, even if you're not necessarily feeling up for it, you know? Doing something for someone that you care about isn't always the most exciting and fulfilling thing. Sometimes it's something we don't feel like doing, but for those close people that you keep in your life, I just feel like shouldn't shouldn't even be a question for the attitude should be more if something comes up, I'm pushing through it. I'm pushing through it, I think no matter what. Like I yeah, okay, I'm a little bit tired, but I'm showing up. I'm pushing through it. It's not I'm only showing up if I feel like it. That's not a friendship or any like kind of relationship, even like even in a um romantic relationship, like you show up for the people you care about, even if you don't necessarily feel like it in that moment. Honoring our limits and avoiding discomfort are are different, they're different things. Honoring our limits is not just avoiding discomfort, and discomfort and burnout are very different, and I think this is where lines get blurred and the talk of burnout and this and that in our culture just sometimes gets taken too far. There's always a line with all these things, right? And like social media and the culture love to take things to the extremes, and then we end up just never being there for others. And there's just a difference between, yeah, I'm tired, but I can still go, versus I genuinely cannot function. Like discomfort may be like, yeah, like I'm tired, but I'm I'm gonna go and do the best I can with the best attitude and be there for my people. I'm still gonna show up and show up with a smile, versus is something is going on where you genuinely cannot function something really terrible, um, really bad that you like apologize for and like cannot and you need to be there for yourself. Like that would be burnout. Different things, different things, just because you're a little bit discomfort doesn't mean you're burnt out at the moment. And also, I don't know if this is bad, but I feel like I've always been the person where if someone there's always something wrong with someone, like you know those people where they there's always something wrong, no matter how big or small, so much to the fact that like when something actually is going like wrong or bad for them, it's hard to feel bad for them and believe them because every other day they're complaining about something. So then when actually something is like that's worth being like taken back or complained about, it's like, well, yesterday you complained about a stubbed toe and how you can't function with that. So now today when something's actually going on, it's hard to actually believe you and like feel sympathy for you. I don't know if that's bad or not. That like I do get that way. Like I had a coworker at one of those customer service jobs that I talked about in the last episode. And every day it was something. It's like, oh, I have a headache, I can't function. Oh, I like I'm a little bit sore from my workout, I can't function. Oh, like just any little thing. Like me in my head, I'm like the type of person, like, we got shit to do. Like, okay, there's discomforts on the day to day, but you keep pushing. Like, that's life. The life, life still goes on when these little things come up, and that's life, and you have to like deal with it, you know? Like, we can't just crash down or crash out and not do anything and function with any little conven inconvenience. Sorry. So yeah, I just had this coworker who was a little bit younger and immature, and every day it was something. So then, if something was actually going on that sh she or he was stressed out about, I was like, I don't even know if I can believe you, and I'm really finding it hard to feel bad for you because every day it's a little something. So then on the days, it's like the boy who cried wolf. Because by the time you actually get to something where like I want to feel bad for you, it's hard, and I don't know if that's a better normal quality to have of mine, and maybe it's not always the best, but like, and again, everything there's a line. There's a line with like being able to complain about something actually hard, but like when the little things come up, like you're supposed you just no doubt, you just push through. You can't let all these little things always take you down and hold you back, you know. I don't know if that was a little sidetrack or if that makes sense, but it's like the people who cry wolf, it's always little things, always, always, always something that just takes them out. And it's like, yeah, then I can't feel bad for you when there's actually something that's worth taking someone

A Ride or Die Friend

SPEAKER_00 13:43

out. Between my friend group, we show up, and I never thought much about it. I never thought much about it till recently, noticing other people's mindsets that it's not the same. And I'm like, sorry, what what kind of friendships are these? What is going on? My friends and I would never, never even consider. When my friend was going through a bad time, my friend Meg, me and our other friend Shannon, we drove to New Jersey to surprise her and be like, We're here for you, girl. When the time when I was in my like depressive period, my cousin drove nine hours down to North Carolina to show up for me, when we are going through something, or even when we accomplish anything, too, big or small. In my friend group, we make it known that we take notice of these things and are proud of those things and are here for each other and in support always, whether it's like a good thing going on or a bad thing. When my friends like are doing something really cool or accomplishing things, I want to shout it for the rooftop and be like, that is my friend. Like, how lucky am I that my friends are accomplishing like cool things or like whatever they're going through in their life? Like, I I want to show support, and because then it's like, oh, like I'm cool because I gotta be friends with these type of people who are doing cool things. Like, how lucky am I? I want to make it known. I get to be their friends, and then I just I get appalled when so if my like close friends have other close friends that I don't really know, and their other close friends are not showing up for them in the same way, that that makes me mad. I get appalled a little bit because I'm like, you're not gonna show up for our friend like in the same way. I don't I don't get it, and not even like really feel bad or like it make it just like a casual thing and not even question it, because that's not how we do things over there. So why are you going and treating my our quote unquote our friend like that? Friendships, like it's all supposed to be reciprocated. You reciprocate being there for each other in times need, you reciprocate supporting each other in times of need, being proud of each other, this and that, whatever it may be, it's all a reciprocation. It's all a two-way street, and sometimes like it's a in an era where one friend is needing more than another, and vice versa. We all go through different periods of whatever we're going through, good or bad. And it just makes me mad when I see my friend's other friends not showing that for them, or like for my sisters, or I just get protective, and I'm like, what's going on? Like, what is their thought process? I would never think to not like try my utmost, very best when like agreeing to something, or like wanting to show up and support and be there. I don't know. Like, is anyone else noticing all this

Canceling Plans Constantly

SPEAKER_00 16:56

like I am? And anyway, I'd I think there's another aspect to this and something that goes along with this, and that's the normalization of canceling on plans. A different version of cancel culture, I guess we got. But I think some people forget that when a plan is made, and maybe this is also like has just always been a pet peeve of mine, but you it's right to assume that like when you make a plan with someone for a certain day, because we're adults and life gets is busy and whatever, if I have a plan for a certain day, it's probably right to assume that I like organize the rest of my entire day to make sure I'm ready for that plan. So I woke up at a certain time, probably earlier, so that I could get whatever work I need to get done prior done, and so I could go to the gym. And so whatever I need to do, I could do before, and then setting aside time to like if I need to get ready or whatever said plan is or eat or whatever it may be. Like my whole layout for the day is probably organized around said plan. So then when people constantly are canceling plans last minute, and that's just such a normal thing, no doubt about it, for certain people, sometimes they don't like consider how the other person probably like already did an entire day just for this plan, and it's like disappointing sometimes when people constantly last minute are canceling or changing plans and not being considerate of the other person like that. Like imagine doing a whole day in anticipation for some said plan, and you're getting ready, and then it's canceled, and you're like, I'm all ready, and I just spent an entire day that was rearranged for this plan, and people just cancel willy-nilly with like no other thought about it. And I think this has been a pet peeve of mine for forever when people do this, but it's just so normalized now and praised, even I feel like on social media and in the culture, like, oh, I'm canceling my plans, how I feel when I'm canceling my plans, like uh, tucked in bed, yep, cancel, not showing up, not getting up, can't be bothered. And again, like there's time and place. Sometimes both people involved in the situation want that, and that's great. But other times it's a one-way street, or it may be something that means something to someone, like they're trying to celebrate. I don't know, whether it's even just like their birthday or whatever it may be, or maybe they had a long week at work and they're like, Oh, I really need my friend time right now to like decompress and forget my stressful work week. Whatever small or big, like scale, it is. Things matter and showing up for your people matter, and yeah, it's just been such commonplace to cancel plans last minute. I feel like if I have to cancel plans last minute, like something really must be going on, and I make a whole, a whole, what is it, to do, a whole for do about it. Like, I'm so sorry. Let's let me give you other dates that I'm like, I really feel bad. Like, are you sure it's okay to reschedule? Here are other days that I'm free, and other times I'll explain. Like, something must have come up where I think like it needs like it needs to be prioritized or whatever, or something out of my control. And I always make sure to show how I feel that I hate this, I don't want to do this, and this is the situation, and like apologize and this and that, versus just like some people are just so casual, so casual when they kids look at it, it's like, oh yeah. Again, I don't have the energy, so I'm staying in maybe another time, like no effort to even pick another day or time or whatever it might be. Now, again, devil's advocate, always, always make sure I'm covering both faces. There are different instances, like I was just saying, particular instances where you know may need to. But if you are the person that is constantly rescheduling for small, lazy, or no reason at all, maybe that's when it's time to think on it and think, why do I just not want to make effort for people? What's the reason? What's going on? Um, I just have witnessed recently people canceling on things last minute, big life things for other people. And I want to say so bad, but I'm not gonna say, but big life things for other people, and it just blows my mind and it makes me so frustrated. Like I would never, could never get myself to do it for these big. Life, life moments that only come once. Stuff like that is what I'm talking about. And I've seen it recently where my like friends of friends, other friends have canceled on my friend, and I probably flew across the country for that friend to be there, and their friend that lives in our hometown still can't show up. And it just blows my mind and it makes me so sad. Like, why is that so okay and normal for certain people? It just doesn't, it doesn't make sense. And like it, like, how do you justify it? You know, I don't in my mind, I just wouldn't be able to justify it for certain moments and things like that. Not for your best true friends. It's also kind of, you know, selfish sometimes being there for your friends. Not like fully selfish, because it's sometimes an inconvenience, but sometimes it feels really good to like go and be there and be that support for your friend. And make sure your friend knows that they can rely on you. You are reliable, you are dependable, they can lean on you when they need. Like I love being that for other people. I love, like, if I can, and hopefully I do, my friends will let me know. Like, if I make sure that they know that I'm there for them whenever they need, don't hesitate. Don't even question, never think you're bothering me, this or that. Like, I hope my friends know that. I want to be that person for them. It makes me feel good. If a friend tells me, like, how thankful they are that I showed up for them or how much it meant to them. If I did, like, let's say, show up for them selfishly. I love that. Like, okay, I love that for me. That feels good. And like, it's an amazing feeling to BH. So, like, get back to being, you can even think about it in a little selfish way. Like, if you're not feeling up for it, but you still go or do whatever, like it's it's a good feeling knowing I did that, I did that for my friend, I can be that person, and I am that person. And then, like I was kind of saying, there's those cancelers that don't make it that cancel and don't make it a big deal. Like, if you are canceling last minute, you better make it known how sorry you are and how explain how something very unexpected and unplanned happened, came up, you feel so bad, you send your support in some way or another. Some people are just so casual about it. And I just, it's just lazy to me. I don't,

Misusing Therapy Language

SPEAKER_00 24:47

I don't get it. I don't get it. And I know we live in a time, right? We do, we live in a time where therapy is more normalized and mental health is more normalized and checking in on those things, which we love. We love, yay, more normalized, love that. But sometimes I think then, like therapy talk and certain words and concepts and language are a bit misused. They're misused because they sound good, they make you feel better about yourself for using them and thinking that's what you're doing. You have to convince yourself, like, oh, I'm doing this because it's a boundary when really you're just lazy and you don't want to show up. You know, some people use it as an excuse, and it's like, you can't, you can't be mad at me because it's whatever word it may be, you know. All those words get thrown around all the time now. And I love when they're right and when we're acknowledging them in the correct moments, but misusing them can be very harmful and inconsiderate, and then it can disregard when they're actually being used correctly, if that makes sense. And like I said, I love a boundary. I've talked about it previous episodes, how it's really important to know your boundary and know who you want in the people, what kind of energy you want in the people around you, and being very particular on who your friends are because like that's your energy, and um not everyone's meant to be friends with everyone, right? That's where we set the boundary on who we keep in our life and who is in our orbit and who we have as our close friends. That's where the boundary is. So then you know that your friends that you have are your true best friends and people that you love. So then you show up for those people. If you don't want to show up for the people that you're keeping around you, then maybe is that where you didn't set a boundary? Because is that someone you don't want to be showing up for? Is that someone you don't actually care to have in your life? I think we're we get confused on where maybe the boundary sometimes should be placed. It should be placed on who we have in our orbit. That way, we love the people in our orbit and we show the fuck up for them and we want to. That's where the boundary should be, not on whether we show up for the people we care about or not, but in the first place, taking a step back, making sure that the people in our life are the people we care about. So then just who the people you have in your life is the people you want to be there for always and make the most effort for. Otherwise, if you have a friend that you don't really want to do that for, then are they even a real friend? Is that someone that you have as a true friend or a best friend? Maybe that's where the thought process needs to go back to then. Cause instead, right now, it feels like people are taking the word boundary when really they're just maybe avoiding or being lazy a little bit, like, oh, I can't come to your birthday dinner. That's in an hour, like I said I would come because oh, I have a headache and I coughed once today, so I'm protecting my boundary and I need a night in. No, no, does that sound like a good friend to you? No, absolutely not. That's people misuse this stuff. Does does dependability still count for anything in anyone or matter? Like if something went wrong in my life, who was gonna be the one showing up for me? Start thinking about that. If something went wrong in my life, who would actually show up? And then would I be the person to show up for them? Cause I know for sure that my friends ride hard for me, and I do the exact same for them. I don't have to doubt it. My best friends oh ride so hard for each other, period, no matter what. No questions asked. Just yesterday, I was on the phone with my friend Ange, and she called me because she knew I was like dealing with a tough situation, and I was trying to like talk through it with her, and she was, you know, pretty much saying, like, I'm sorry, I wish like I had a solution for you. I've never been in this situation either. Um, I don't exactly know how to handle it either, but no matter what, we support you and we got you. That's exactly what she said. We, as in her and Megan, my like, those are two friends that know each other. Um, but I was just talking to her, but that's all she had to say. She said, I may not, I wish I had the answers for you to just tell you, tell you what to do, but I don't. But no matter what, we know you, we know who you are, we got you, and we support you, no matter what like decision you end up making. That is all I needed to hear. I didn't need the exact solution from my friends always, because we don't always have the exact solutions. But just letting them know that they got you and that they support you, that's all I needed to know. Because those are the people you want to hold tight to. Those are how friendships should be. Now, if I was gonna go murder someone or something crazy like that, then of course they want to get me and they wouldn't support that, maybe, but who knows? They may help me bury the body, you know? Like, those are the friends, the friends you can call because they know your intentions, they know who you are as a person. So they got you because they they are friends with you because they must love something about you and they know you're a good person, or like, yeah, so then they know you know you can support your friends. If you're choosing to have them as friends, you must love them. So you then you know you you got them, you were there for them. We got you. That's all I needed to hear, and I was just like, that's what matters, that's what matters. And look, it even just took a phone call, too. Like, sometimes it's just showing up in a phone call, or like the small things that sometimes people still avoid, don't feel like doing, go out of their way to avoid because they're just lazy, I guess. I guess, guys. I don't know. I just can't fathom it and how people just like casually treat friendships these days. Those should be your bitches, those should be your ride or dies. I don't know, you guys let me know. You let me know if you're seeing these same kind of things that I am, and if you're seeing it be more common, a day-to-day normalized, etc. It's sad, it's sad. We don't want that. We want to go back to the old definition of friendship,

Valid or Jail Time

SPEAKER_00 32:11

but I thought it'd be fun to end this episode with a play little game, and I got some scenarios here that I'm gonna read and go through and kind of discuss are they valid or jail time? Okay, so different scenarios, different cases. So the first one is my friend canceled because she has a fever. Like valid. A fever takes people out. Fever, you don't want to pass on. Like to that extreme, valid. But then my friend canceled, like, because she had a cough. She coughed again. I don't know why I keep saying that, coughed once today, and it's like, oh no. Jail time, jail time, like go and show up. You're okay, girl. You're okay. Let's see. My friend canceled because she has a huge deadline the next morning. Okay, probably valid. Like there is some understanding too, and it's all depending too on what you're canceling on. But I know I may not be in the corporate world, but I know I have friends in the corporate world, and sometimes they get thrown on a bunch of extra work last minute that was unexpected, so they can't control. So, yeah, valid. See, I'm not I'm not too mean, too crazy here. There are valids. Um, my friend canceled because she had a long day at work. This one probably jailed time in my eyes. Like, again, it all depends on what you're canceling on, but we all have long days. You know? Like, it might even feel better to go see your friend after a long day at work. I feel like that's what I want. Like, oh, I had a long day. I can't wait to just debrief it with you or not talk about it at all and forget about it with you. Like, just a long day. We all have long days every once in a while. Like, you'll you'll catch up on your sleep. Don't worry. You can you can go be there for your friend even after a long day at work. We all got work. Um next one. My friend canceled because she's just not in the mood anymore. Jail time. Jail time. Moods change again. This like goes on with just being lazy, like and not and avoiding discomfort. Like sometimes we're not in the mood for certain things, but we still show up and you get through it and you go. Jail time. My friend cancelled because she's low on money. Okay. So I think this instance, maybe you just change the plan. Like, explain your situation, be like, hey, I'm really stressed about money right now. I don't think, like, say the plan involved spending money. How about instead, like, we do a night in and and chat, or like change you can offer a solution of changing the plan to something that doesn't cost money. Or if it's something that is like a group thing, or must you must go and do this one thing that costs money. I think you could explain this one. This is a a tough one, I know can be a stressor. So I'd say this is valid. You either change the plan or be like, since like you still have to go to this plan that costs money, like, how about me and you just do something then in a different day that is cheap or doesn't cost money at all. So everything is not black and white. Um, the next one would be my friend canceled because she didn't feel like getting ready. No, jail time. Again, stop being lazy. Just with sometimes I don't feel like either. Sometimes I just want to stay laying, and I'm like, oh, I don't feel like getting up and getting ready. You still get up and you still get ready and you still go. Go, go, jail time. My friend cancelled because she wanted a night in instead. No, jail time. Again. No. Every once in a while, you'll get your night in the next night when you don't have to be there for your friend. But if your friend needs to, you go be there. Um, okay. My friend cancelled after I was already on my way. No, no, no. Oh my gosh. Again, something big had to happen. Something major, a huge apology has to come along with it, and this be a one-time thing and not a reoccurring thing. Already on the way? Like that is very inconsiderate of someone else's like day and time, etc. Um, let's see, maybe do one more. Oh, well, this one's obvious. My friend canceled because her situationship texted her. No. Bye. Bye. Friends over partners situationship, not even a partner. Friends rule that every time, no matter what. Goodbye. That's not a friend. That that is not a friend. Not at all. Okay, that was the last one that I had for that little game. But

Conclusion

SPEAKER_00 37:42

yeah, you know, I don't I don't think this is all about being perfect. Of course, no one is perfect, you don't have to say yes to everything, you don't have to ignore your mental health or run yourself into the ground for other people. But I do think somewhere along the way, you know, we started prioritizing our own comfort all the time and kind of forgot that sometimes friendships require a little bit of effort, and that's normal and that's okay, and that's what friendships are. A little inconvenience, a little showing up when you don't feel like it. That is what friendships are for. Not just for, but that's what you do in friendships, and that should be the norm. And that's why they are our friends, because they are the people that we will show up when it's an inconvenient time. Because they are our friends, so they are an inconvenience actually, because they are important people to us, they are the people we care about. It may not even be just friends, it could be your siblings or whoever it may be. But the truth is that being a good friend isn't always going to be convenient. But those small moments where you're showing up, you're following through, and you're being reliable, those are the things that build trust over the time. Those are the things that grow a friendship and make it a strong foundation. And those are the things that get recognized and appreciated, and what makes you each other like best or true friends. And period. You know, like I don't know. I don't know. I want to hear your thoughts on all this. I just think, you know, people are missing that mindset right now a little bit and are rewording other commonalities in the zeitgeist of, you know, all the common therapy and boundaries thrown out there. But, you know, it's not perfection all the time, it's just consistency and knowing you can rely and trust on your people and just being particular. Always be particular about your people, and that way you won't even have to think about this because then it'll be the people that you do want to show up for always. No questions asked. You push through little inconveniences or uncomforts for them. And that's a true ooh-oo-ooh friend. I need to stop singing on here. I need to stop. But you know, Han Montana, true friend. You know the song. You know the song. Alrighty. That was the end of my spiral for today. And I had a blast. I hope you did. Let me know how you feel about this, this topic. Are you seeing this in other people? Have maybe you've been a victim of this. Maybe you've been the con artist of this, and you just need to reroute your thinking sometimes. Reroute your mindset. Maybe comment below your ride or die friends in the comments on the social medias and in the episode. Share this with your ride or die friends. You gotta have your ride or die friends. They're the best, best friends to have. Um, okay. I'm rambling on now, spiraling out. I'm out. Thank you for coming to another Thursday. Love ya. See ya next week.