Am I Lonely or Did My Vacation Just End?

This week we're talking about the emotional withdrawal that hits after weddings, vacations, family visits, and all the moments that make real life feel a little dull when they're over.

After coming home from my sister's wedding, I found myself navigating that familiar crash: going from constant connection, celebration, and fun back to work, routine, and reality. We're talking about why it happens, why it can make you question your entire life, and how to get through the adjustment without making any dramatic decisions.

If you've ever come home from a trip feeling weirdly sad, this one's for you.

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Editing by Julie Bishop

Cover Artwork by Angelina Richeson

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

It's after time away being around people you love so much or experiencing time away from work and stress and real life and just that, you know, high feeling that you get sometimes, and then you have to come back to reality and you feel a little bit down or alone and like you need to readjust. And it's like, whoa, where did this feeling come from? Was not prepared for that. Um, I'll come to Casually Spiraling with me, Julie Bishop, just a tall girl in this world trying to make sense of life, dating, money, relationships, identity, culture, you know, all the things. I learned that my thoughts don't always land with the people around me, so I am here to break it all down, talk it out, probably over share, and maybe find some who don't think I'm totally crazy after

Intro

SPEAKER_00 1:10

all. Hi, welcome back. Happy Thursday. How are we doing? How was your week? We are back again, like I promised. Um, I had a pretty good week. I just feel like everyone's out of town right now. My friends are out of town, and I'm I'm ready for them to be back, okay? Thank you very much. I don't want to be alone over here. Um uh yeah, but we are we are getting into summer now very much. We're in summer mode. It's now like mid-June, the vibes are summery and good, but you know what that means? That means we are back in the villa every night. Love island mode, full Love Island mode. Every night we are excited for a hot new bombshell to enter the villa. And we got Love Island USA, we got the UK, it's all queued up, and I love it, and I'm here for every moment of it. So let me know if you're listening and want to talk Love Island tea, cuz I'm obsessed. I am obsessed,

Withdraw Crashout

SPEAKER_00 2:14

but today I wanted to talk about something that I feel like comes up during the summer often. Um, and I was kinda maybe going through it last week, and I was maybe gonna talk about it last week, but I was in the middle of it. It felt a little too fresh, a little too close to home to sit down and talk about it at that time. I think I needed, you know, I was too in the middle of it instead of being able to step outside of it and see it from the other side. So now we're here today, a little bit on the outside of it, but it still was just present with me last week. Still a little present, but we're working through it. And what that is, is withdrawal. Pretty much withdrawal after um coming back from either a vacation or time with family and friends you don't get to see, whatever it may be. Um, not drugs, not withdrawal from this or that. Um, but yeah, just after time away, being around people you love so much, or experiencing time away from work and stress and real life, and just that, you know, high feeling that you get sometimes, and then you have to come back to reality and you feel a little bit down or alone, and like you need to readjust. And it's like, whoa, where did this feeling come from? Was not prepared for that. Um, you know, it's like feeling so high on life for a time period, and then it's just a major crash, crash out, crash back when you get back to reality and the real world, and it can be a tough adjustment as a result of having something so good or people so good, or such a good time, um, or good memory, something so great, but then the result after that can be a total come down, and it can be difficult to deal with, and it can be a lot of weird feelings, and it can be sadness, and you're like, hold on, I was just feeling so good. Where did this come from? I didn't want this, no thank you. How do I deal with this? Um, and maybe this comes up for those of us who have moved away from home and friends and family more often so, because then you are like going back away from that. Um, but I think it comes up for everyone in some kind of way, and especially during the summertime when everyone's taking trips and taking time off work and going on vacations and this and that. So I feel like it can it can come up a lot during during these months. It can come up all the year, all time of the year, but especially right now, more often, and I'm going through it. So I was like, let's talk about it. Does anyone else feel this way? Because please, please, not just me, not just me, but for me as someone who has moved away and is far away from family and some close friends, it you just you don't get her be around those people often. And when you are around, it just feels so good and exciting, and then have to go all the way back for me across the country. Um, excluded from that and isolated from that after having such a good experience. I think it it comes up. It comes up in some ways, and some emotions and some stresses um in my mind once you have to go back away from that. And yeah, right now people are taking breaks from their work and routine life. And yeah, readjusting back to that can be tough once you get once you get a little taste of not having to deal with that and a break from that. Going back to it can be a real a real Melanie crush out cross shout if you're watching Love Island. Sometimes you just might want to need to get take some ten. Gimme ten, gimme ten, gimme ten. You know what I mean? I hope some of you watch, otherwise you won't know what that is at all. Um, but yeah, anyway, you know that I was just at my sister's wedding. I talked about it a little bit last week. That's part of the reason why I had some time off um from the podcast. And um, yeah, and I talked about how it was amazing. It was the best week, and it was a whole week of fun activities. It was a whole week of being surrounded by friends and family, and it was a whole week of good positive vibes surrounding this fun event that we've all been looking forward to for a year and a half, and then it just all comes to an end, and it's like whoa! And it truly was such a one of the best weeks. And when I tell you, work and real life and stress did not cross my mind once during that week. I didn't, it didn't sometimes you go away, but you're still like, oh, I have to get back to that, or I'm gonna be going back to whatever when you go back. This week, nothing else crossed my mind. Nothing else. I slept like a fucking baby in my my childhood bedroom with those blackout curtains. I slept like a baby. I didn't think about anything else whatsoever. And yeah, it was just such a relaxing and free, free week of not worrying about my life or what I'm doing with my life or my career or money or whatever it may be-literally anything else. It was just yeah, a very free week surrounded by the best people. So you have to come back to reality and for me, fly across the country back away from these people, and this time, and it was a shock to the system for sure, going from such a high to back to work and figuring out my life and career and money. And I also it was a full week of constantly being surrounded by people, let alone like my favorite and closest people, to then waking up the next morning here completely alone and surrounded by no people, and a whole day of being alone, and that also was weird. Not that I don't love a low time every once in a while, but I don't like it all the time, and it was just a weird transition, and I was like, whoa, because also too for me being the one that lives somewhere else and had to fly somewhere else, like they all still had plans with each other the n the next week, um, versus I didn't have that, right? So it was a transition period for sure, and a shock. And and like I said too, my friends also happen to be out of town, so I didn't even have many people here to make plans with when I got back, if that makes sense, versus um if they were around and I could distract myself more. But nope, it was just me and my thoughts during this withdrawal down period, which you know, just alone with your thoughts can be a lot sometimes. I don't I feel like I talked about this before, but I don't know. I usually always have like a podcast or music or listening to an interview or YouTube video or something. Because I joke about how, like, even just with brushing my teeth, if it's just silent, then I'm just alone with my thoughts too much, and I'm like, no, I can't do this. I can't, I can't for these two minutes brushing my teeth. I need something on to listen to. I can't just be here with my thoughts. It's too much. It's too much. We got too much going on up here. That's why I have this. That's why I have this outlet to get it all out. Because otherwise, if I was like this in my brain all the time, I would explode probably. Something, something would go wrong. Um, so yeah. It was a lot of time with my thoughts during this calm down period, and it was a bit sad if I'm being honest. But don't worry, we're here to talk about it and get through it and figure out how to get through it, and hopefully this can help you if you go through these moments too. And I'll need this for my future as well, because I know I'm gonna feel this again probably sometime soon. But yeah, it's just a very weird and down time and a feeling, and I think it's common, but it's just strange because I feel like in the moment, um, when I know I'm experiencing withdrawal, like I could, I was naming it in the moment last week. I was like, oh, I'm in withdrawal right now. And I know it's gonna pass, and I know it's just a moment, and I know that I'll get back into my routine and back into my schedule and back into my groove, and it'll pass, and I won't feel that way anymore. But in the moment, it just feels so fucking depressing. And you're like, I'm sorry, what the fuck? I was just feeling so happy, and now I'm feeling so sad, and why am I crying now? I was crying tears of joy at the wedding, and now I'm like, want to cry for no reason, and I don't, I'm not even on my period, so I can't even blame that, even though I always blame my period no matter what week of the month it is. Um, because I need something to blame if I'm just crying out of nowhere. And yeah, even though you know it's gonna pass, I don't know, in the moment, it didn't seem to help. I was like, yeah, bitch, I know it's gonna pass, but that doesn't help me right now because I'm in it right now. So hello, whatever. I tried making myself feel better, being like, oh, you'll be fine in a week or two or whatever, but no, it's still in the moment. It sucks. And it was everyone was feeling sad. And that is why, too, I remember when I was in a long-distance relationship. That was like the hardest part about it was the withdrawal because you're going through such a roller coaster emotions. At least I was when I was in one, because it's like you leave them, right? No, no, you you're you're about to see them again after not seeing them. And so you get so excited and you're on this high and you see them and it's happy, happy, happy. And then you leave them and you're in the withdrawal, and it's just a crashdow, a come down. It's so depressing and sad. And then you get back into your routine and you're like, good, yeah, you're all good. But then it comes back around and you know you're gonna see them again. So then you go the other extreme, and you're high, and you're super, so excited, excited, and happy, and then they leave and you're like depressed again. So it was so much up and down emotions, um, and it was hard to keep like a constant. So yeah, I remember that being really tough. And it's kind of like a similar thing of these highs and lows and the extremes instead of finding a steady and trying to stabilize at the moment. And it's not even like um coming back to you know where I live or going by the country, and it's not even like I don't like my life here because I do, I love it, and I love living here, and I love pursuing what I'm pursuing. So it's not even like this withdrawal only happens for people who hate their life, because I love my life and I still feel it, and I still experience it. So like I don't know. I you can love your life or you can hate your life that you're coming back to, and I think still experience it, maybe experiencing withdrawal in different ways, but I love my life here, and yet I still had a come down period that I needed to get through. Um, because it was just it was just a huge change and a huge switch up, and and it was just it was just a huge reminder, and it it's just a kick in the gut, and it's a reminder that okay, you're an adult now, and you're in adult life, and life is different now because it like for a week it felt like we were kids again, all living together and just running around like kids. And then when you go back, it's just a reminder, okay, you're an adult now, there's other things going on, there's other responsibilities than just having fun, you know, that you do unfortunately have. And just a reminder that you are away from those friends and family, or whoever it may be that you went and got to see. Um, so it's just a reminder that you're away from those people now. Obviously, you know that previously, but when you get to see them and experience it, it's just like extra lingering reminder that's there with you when you get back and you're like, all right, back to being an adult and back to, oh yeah, I can't just see them and every day or a few times a week or this or that. If I want to see them, I have to buy a plane ticket and plan a whole thing, you know? So it's just just a bit of a reminder. Um, but I think this even comes up with draw, even if you didn't see anyone new. Maybe you just took a vacation with the people that you do see all the time. Um, and I think it still comes up with that because even if it has nothing to do with people, it can just be the experience of taking time away from your day-to-day work and stress. If you just took a trip and you were just full relaxing, maybe all you did was lay on a beach for a week straight. It still can kick you in the butt when you get back because you had a week straight of doing other things and not going to work and being stressed out, you know? So it's not just revolved around people. I think it's revolved around the experience as well and what you're thinking about and where your stresses lie, or not having every stress as all, and relaxing your body too, a week of not being tense or anxious or this or that, and then coming down from that after to your normal work day and normal life can be jarring to the system, and it definitely takes a little bit of a readjustment period, a reintegration back into your normal life, and it's a little bit of a grieving period as well. You gotta mourn a little bit. This easier, more relaxing, full of life moment that you had. Not that it's I mean, maybe it's like not dead, but it is dead a little bit, you know. You gotta grieve it and move on a little bit from it. It was a time and you have those memories, uh, but it's over now. And uh yeah, you gotta you gotta get back to reality. So it is a bit too of like a grieving mourning process morning process, it kind of feels like. But so I

Why the Crashout Feels So Intense

SPEAKER_00 16:38

I think first to identify, I think there's a few reasons why this crash out and this come down feels so intense. And I don't think it's necessarily like I was saying, that your everyday life is so bad or horrible or that you hate it. I think just sometimes after a wedding or a vacation or a girl's trip or family time, whatever it may be, I think your brain just starts convincing you, like, oh, maybe I should, maybe I should change my life, maybe I should move home, maybe my life isn't right. Is it am I doing the right thing? Am I lonely? Am I sad? Am I depressed? I think it starts to play tricks on you, like convincing you of these things that you're not just because of during the calm down process, and maybe you need to feel like you need to make some major change right now, and your brain just starts comparing you this previous week or trip or weekend time that you had to what you have right now. But there's no way or re like smart reason to compare a week curated around joy and relaxation and connection and fun and celebration and memories to waking up the next day on just any random Tuesday where you're answering emails, taking phone calls, running errands, going to work and catching back up on life. Like who in their right mind should compare those two things and then base a decision off of that? Because you can't compare them because they're both things that happen and they're just so different extremes, but like the Tuesday, random Tuesday where you're doing those things is necessary so that you can have the time away um and other celebration time and relaxing and vacation time. But there's just no there's no sense in comparing those two types of days, you know, because they're just so different and they're not the same. So whenever you do compare them, you're just gonna lose. Reality is always gonna lose. The Tuesday is always gonna lose to the fun celebration, vacation, relaxing, fun times to it's always gonna win over your just your mundane days, but we all have those mundane days, and we all have those catch-up days and just routine scheduled days. Um, it's just a part of life. So I think your brain starts to compare those two things, and then you crash out and you're like, fuck, am I doing life wrong? Should every day be a fun celebration, no stress, no work every single day? Am I doing something wrong with life? Do I need to make a major life decision right now? Probably not. But because no, not every day is gonna be like that, you know? And if every day was like that, then it probably would feel a little less high than it did because that would be your everyday. I think these special moments are special because they're not your everyday. They are your special moments and your memories. Um, so I think sometimes we accidentally compare this highlight reel of life to the mundane maintenance days and phases of our life. And yeah, no, no regular Tuesday, and it was a Tuesday that I woke back up on alone after a week of being surrounded by people, that's never gonna win and beat the wedding weekend and my sister's wedding weekend and any of that ever. I think another reason that it feels so intense is because everyone's kind of leaving from this moment. And I think maybe this especially for people in their 20s and 30s, you s like I said, kinda you kind of reverted back to being a kid. You spend a week back with your family and friends that you did maybe growing up with, or at least I did. Again, this is in every scenario, or maybe you spend a week on vacation, swimming in the ocean and whatever, paddle boarding and doing all these kind of kid-like activities that you always did when you were a kid, or you're spending time with people like you were a kid. And it was kind of, yeah, you felt that youth feeling again, and it felt like old times and moments felt like old times, and you reverted back to that freedom and naive self of not having to worry about the problems of the world. So I think then it's very intense going back to your normal life after experiencing that. It's like you feel that, and then suddenly the whole thing breaks apart. Someone is flying back to a different part of the country or a different state. Everyone else is going back to work, someone that was um maybe away from their husband and kid goes back to that, or I'm now back in my apartment alone. Like, it's just this union, or at least for me, it was a union of all these people, and then suddenly everyone's breaking apart and going their separate ways again. And you're like, wait, no, what happened? We had a good time. And now we're all having going back, and we it's a reminder we all do have our own separate lives now, which is different than we were a kid. When you're a kid, it's like, oh, you're all in your own life together, and then you grow up and everyone starts their new life. So it was like a big intense reminder. Like, okay, we all have our own lives now, things are different. Um, everyone is off doing different things, which is amazing, and life just isn't quite the same anymore. And that doesn't mean that life is bad now, because it at least it's not for me right now. It can be an amazing, but it's still that switch up that can be really tough on the mental, you know, that extreme switch-up feeling. It can it can take a bad bitch down sometimes, you know? But you know, even

Ways To Get Through Withdraw

SPEAKER_00 22:50

though these crash outs can feel so intense or this withdrawal period can feel really intense and emotional and sad and whatever it may feel, there are ways to get out of this period. I think there's ways to at least help this period while you're getting out of it, you know? So don't worry. Don't worry, I'm not only here for the crash out, I'm here to at least share what has helped me and what um some things I try to do to make myself feel better during this period so I'm not so fucking depressed, alone in my love island hole, wrapped in a blanket, on a couch, lights are dark all day long. You know what I mean? Um, okay, so number one, one thing, one way to help me get out of this period or feel better during this period, and that is plan things with your friends that are local or your significant other if you have one and you're going back to them or you're with them. Um, if you come back from a time away or a trip or whatever, um, back to your real life, if you have something planned to look forward to or that gets you out of the house, I think that helps a lot. You know, whether it can be something small like getting lunch with a friend, um, going to a happy hour, going out, having something that's exciting with your friend's plant, or your boyfriend or girlfriend, or whoever it may be, someone that you have that lives um where you live, plans or at least reach out to them when you get back and plan something. So you have something to look forward to. You have something that gives you an excuse to get dressed up and ready for and plan around and gets you out of the house so you are not just coming back and sitting at home the entire week or for a few days or you know, the entire night, you know. It gives you something to look forward to that takes you also out of your work and routine. So, you know, you come back and you do have to do those things, maybe go to work, but then you know, you have right after work a happy hour that you're looking forward to. Or, you know, you come back and you have to get groceries and clean, and yeah, you do that, but then you know, oh, I'm I'm doing this now, because then right after I'm gonna get ready and I'm gonna go meet up with whoever and catch up and tell them about my fun time and my trip and share the memories. You know, it gets you gets you out so it's not just feeling like cold turkey, you know, it's not feeling like the fun and the memories and the good times and surrounding yourself with the best people is all just stripped away from you. Cold turkey. Nope, you don't get none of that anymore. You are were addicted to that and now you are cut off because no, that's not it. You still want to incorporate that in your everyday life. You just now have to also think about life and stress and all those other things, but you can still plan and get out and you know, still make fun memories in whatever way you can wherever you live locally. Now, of course, like I said, my friends have been out of town and we're out of town all at the same time. So fuck you, my friends. Just kidding. Love you. Um, can't wait for you to get back so I can try and make plans. Thank you. Okay, thanks. That's a message for you. Um, no, but yeah, this kind of recreates, you know, moments um from what you loved from your trip or from your time away or your stress time or de-stress time, you know. It it takes moments from that into your everyday life and recreates it a little bit. So your nuts all don't have to be so sad and depressed. It brings it brings a piece of that back home with you, and you are reminded, like, oh yeah, I can do some of these things too. Um, not that after my solo trip I was really feeling sad or withdrawal. Um maybe I would have been because I had such a good time and I was feeling so confident. But literally the night I got back is when I went out with all my friends here. So I was alone and on this little vacation. But when I like, yeah, I was of course sad to leave it, but I was also so excited because I had plans that night. I was driving back and I'm like, oh, I'm going out to dinner with my girlfriend. And so it just prolonged, and I never had a come down. Well, you know, I didn't from that trip specifically that week, it wasn't a come down period because I came straight off of that into plans with my friends here, you know. So I think things like that help a little bit, help a little bit when you're coming back. Um, okay, so the second thing that I think helps during this period and trying to get out of this period is um if you have the means and it is a possibility, maybe plan the next trip to see those people or the next vacation where you're away from your work or whatever it may be. Plan the next time, plan the next thing so that you have something to look forward to. Now, this isn't always possible and don't always have the means or whatever, but I think you know, knowing the next time you're either gonna see those people or have a time off of work helps in the moment to um get through the current time and has it to look forward to. Um, some things I'm looking forward to. I'm going to San Diego with some friends over the 4th of July, so that'll be fun. And then I'm going to see my family who I was just with the first week of August for a little our beach vacation to the Outer Banks that we would take every year growing up. So I have that. I'm like, oh, I know I'm gonna feel like a kid again that week, and I'm gonna be so happy to spend a whole week with them again. So it's gonna come up soon and it's gonna come up fast. So if I can focus on, oh, I have that to look forward to, and I'm so excited for that, and I don't have to wait till Christmas to have a full week with them again and to see them again, then that definitely helps, and that's excited. And I'm even just smiling right now thinking about it, you know? So if you have the means and are able to, even if it's a few months from now, it's not so soon, or it's six months from now, if you just call up one of those people and be like, hey, let's set, like pick dates that may be free and plan this. Maybe you don't even buy any plane tickets or buy anything yet because you're still maybe recovering from expensives from what you're just on. Maybe just the idea, set a place, pick a month, pick the people, like something, you know, something to have in the works to get you excited for the next time. And so that you know too, like I am gonna have a future time where I'm off work and I'm and I'm not as stressed, or a future time where I am gonna see those people again instead of never knowing. Um, not this is all about relationships, but I think that's also smart if you are in a long distance relationship that each time you leave the person, you know the next time you're gonna see each other. So there's never an unknown of, oh my god, when like when are we gonna see each other again? It could be months, it could be this or that, you know. I just think it's always fun and smart to have the next thing in the book or the next idea in your mind and in your in the books a little bit. Maybe penciled in. It doesn't have to be penned in. But yeah, that that has definitely helps me a little bit. Um, okay, so number three, I think that is helpful when coming down from this withdrawal period is, or maybe it's a like a reminder and it's helpful for your future life. But don't make major life decisions in a crash out. I think it helps to put off big changes, big decisions, until, you know, you're feeling a little bit better. And maybe until like the major stresses you have currently are, you know, put put those off a little bit until the next week. Put off big decisions and maybe put out put off the huge stresses for the following week. I think you do need a readjustment week when you come back. So when you come back from your time away or whatever it may be, maybe give yourself a week to do the major things that may be on your mind, you know? Give yourself a week to readjust, give yourself a week to get back into routine, do the little things like you know, running errands and catching up. But if you are super stressed about making a big career change or a big life change, maybe give it, give it a few days, give it a week, because you may just be feeling really sad and withdraw, and who knows what decisions will come out of that, you know? So I think put it off a little bit, and I think that relieves some of the stress. Cause if I'm on a vacation or trip or whatever it may be, celebrating something, and I know right when I get back I have to make a huge decision or change that is scary and stressful, then that's a lot to come back to. That's a lot to put in your face and put in your plate right away to come back to. So I think, you know, just give yourself a week, let yourself calm down a little bit, clear your mind, because I know my mind just gets muddled. I came back and I'm like, oh my god, I'm not doing enough. When am I ever gonna be successful? I swear it's not gonna happen. I don't work hard enough, I'm not talented enough. Look at all these people in a different spot than I am. I'm not there yet. I'm getting so old, I'm almost 30. I'm not gonna make it, I'm never gonna have enough money for this or that. As you can tell, all these real thoughts have come to my mind. Yes, yes, I've gone through that. Yes, and during that withdrawal period, those thoughts really come at ya and are strong and can make you feel like shit and a lot more shit. So, you know, I think is give yourself a week to calm down, you know? Give yourself a week for the come down, and then we can tackle the hard stuff next week. Let's tackle the mundane little easy things to do on the to-do list to check off. Get back into your routine. You know, you got so out of your routine. Give yourself a week to get back to going to the gym or waking up at a certain time, or whatever it may be in a daily normal routine. Give yourself a readjustment week to get back to that, get on track, and then start adding in the bigger things. So you're not just thrown all at once after this high with the major, big, hard things all at once. You know, ease yourself into it, give yourself that time. Don't shit on yourself for giving yourself that time either. You know, I think you need you need to be stabilized, you need to be settled back in, and this can help. And don't shit on yourself like I have sometimes, okay? Do as I say, not as I do. Because I have definitely put a million things on my plate and expectations on myself in those first few days, and it's just not realistic. It's not, and it just stresses me out. So, and I think too in that first week, your feelings aren't real. Feelings aren't facts, okay? You have all these sad, depressing feelings. That doesn't mean they're real. It means you're, you know, in this withdrawal, you're in this calm down, you're in this stable issue stable issue. That's not a word, stabilizing period, you know? So your feelings are strong and heavy, but they're not facts, they're not real. And a week you're gonna be feeling so different, and you'll be like, I'm I'm feel so silly for feeling that way. Like, why was I emo sad girl? But that wasn't real. You're just going through a lot and a lot of changes, and you're stabilizing. So the feelings aren't facts during that first week. Everything can feel so dramatic for a week, and like, oh my god, what is happening in my life? Uh, this and that. You'll feel so dramatic. You'll want to quit your job and change your life completely. Just don't do anything yet. You know, give yourself that time. No walking into the office that first week back and being like, hey, Dan, I quit. I don't want to be here anymore. I am done. It's over. Have a good life. Don't do that. Maybe do that the second week, but give yourself the first week to readjust, you know? Um, get clear your mind a little bit. All right. All right, thank you. Okay. Number four that has helped me a little bit, um, is remembering that the sadness and grief and withdrawal is proof that you have amazing things in your life. It is proof that you have amazing people, you have amazing opportunities in your life. How lucky am I that I have such great people and experiences that make it so hard to leave, you know, that make it so hard to come back from. And I am able to go to these places and have these experiences that makes me miss them. I'm really fucking lucky, you know? The fucking fact that I was able, I'm I have a job that I can take off work for a week. I have opportunities that I can fly across the country, I have people that love me so much and that I love so much, and I feel like a kid around, and I feel like myself around, and I feel so free around that when I'm with them I don't think about anything else.

unknown 36:15

What?

SPEAKER_00 36:16

That's awesome, you know? That is so fucking cool. So trying to remind yourself that you're feeling so sad right now because of how lucky and how great that was, or you're feeling so sad because you had such an amazing and recentering, de stressing time. So even though it sucks in the moment, if you remember that it comes from a good thing, it comes from an amazing thing, and good things that you have in your life, if nobody mattered to you, if the trip wasn't meaningful, if whatever it may be, retreat, vacation, if it wasn't a good time, if it wasn't relaxing, if it wasn't so special, if the memories weren't there and weren't so special, then there wouldn't be a crash. You would be excited to leave. You'll be like, Bah, I want to go back to work. I want to go back to my regular routine life. No, you know, like if it wasn't so great, you wouldn't, you wouldn't be sad to leave. So it you're only sad to leave and sad to come back because it was so good and you had so many good things happen for you, and you had such a great experience, and you were around the best people that are in your life, and you get to have those people in your life. So, you know, it just is a re reorganizes the feelings, reroutes them into I'm so fucking lucky, and that's so exciting that I have that and I have those opportunities, and I have those people, and I'm able to do that because not everyone is, not everyone has those people, not everyone has that relationship with their family or whoever, or is able to, you know, go and do those things. So it's a little reframing if you can. Now it's still I still I reframe it and I recognize that and I'm grateful for that, and I still had that withdrawal period, you know? I still was feeling a little bit sad, but it helped me get through those moments and it helped me, I think, come out of it faster and yeah, just be excited, excited about life again when I was coming back and I wasn't excited about life anymore, you know? You know what

Conclusion

SPEAKER_00 38:30

I mean? I think that every time I go through one of these withdrawal periods, I forget that I've survived a bunch of them before, and I've come out on the other side every single time before. I think this one always just feels so different. It always just feels like, uh, I hate this. What am I gonna get through this? Am I gonna feel excited and happy again and this or that? But then a week later, I am back. I'm back in my routine, I am back feeling positive, I'm back laughing, I'm back with friends, I'm back obsessed with Love Island time. I am back worried, maybe. I'm worried about maybe completely different things than I thought I would be worried about when I was crashing out, you know? Every time I come back, and it's it's gonna be okay. And you get through it. It's just in the moment, it's so hard to see the other side, and that's why I couldn't record this last week because I don't think I would have all these, you know, outtakes from it and these thoughts about it. And if I recorded this episode last week, it would have just been me here, probably crying because I was very emotional during that time and being like, uh, ma. And who wants to fucking hear me whine? I mean, I kind of whine a lot on this podcast, but you know, whatever. At least I came out on the other side and had some positives to share. Um, you know, so we got through it. So you get through it, even though it doesn't feel like in the moment, it always feels like the most dramatic one, just because I love being dramatic. So I'm like, let me try and taunt myself last time. But the crash isn't a sign that your real life is wrong or bad. Sometimes it's just the emotional hangover from something really, really great and amazing that happened and that you experienced, or the people you're around. Your life isn't wrong, you're just recovering, you're just restabilizing, and honestly, that's probably one of the best problems to have. If that is the worst thing, then hey, give it to me. Give it to me because it comes out of such an amazing time, experience, and people. And think about life. So that is what I gotta say on that. Let me know if you experience these periods, this withdrawal too. Um, because yeah, I don't know, I've never really talked about it with someone before, but I was going through it and I was like, this fucking sucks right now. So let me talk about it and let me know if you go through these periods too, because I don't know, feels kind of alone sometimes and dramatic and sad. But you get through it and you get back on the other side and you restabilize. So maybe that's why people don't talk about it so much, because you do, you recenter and you get through it, but I don't know. Let me know. It can suck, but it's a result of amazing things. So yay, we love that. Um, yeah, let me know what you think. Um, that's all I have for you this week. I will talk to you next week. Love you a lot. I'm obsessed with you, and yeah, love ya. See ya next week.