Q&A: You Asked, I Spiraled pt.2

We're back with another Q&A and since we've had some new listeners join the Casually Spiraling family lately, it felt like the perfect time.

But first: a July 4th recap. Sore throat and all, we did not let anything hold us back, Love Island watch party, brunch, a beach bar, fireworks, dancing, the whole thing. One of those weekends that reminds you exactly why you say yes to life and surround yourself with the right people.

Then we get into your questions. How Casually Spiraling got its name, whether I'd ever do a reality TV show, what I said when someone told me to give up on my dreams, my current podcast rotation, how I've maintained my friendships over the years, what podcasting has taught me about myself, and how to actually tell if a guy is serious about you. Plus a few wildcard ones because you guys never disappoint.

If you're new here, hi, welcome, you found your people. Let's get into it.

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Editing by Julie Bishop

Cover Artwork by Angelina Richeson

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

My car died out in the middle of this water. I'm literally floating. The car is moving, swaying back and forth in water. I'm freaking the fuck out. I call my dad again. And of course, my mom answers the phone. And I don't want to freak her out, but I'm freaking out. So she answers my dad's phone and I'm just like, put dad on! Put dad on the phone. Welcome to Casually Spiraling. With me, Julie Bishop. Just a tall girl in this world trying to make sense of life, dating, money, relationships, identity, culture, you know all the things. I learned that my thoughts don't always land with the people around me. So I'm here to break it all down, talk it out, probably ever share, and maybe find some who don't think I'm totally crazy after

Intro/4th of July Recap

SPEAKER_00 1:07

all. Welcome back to Casualty Spiraling. Thank you guys so much for coming back and being here. Um, did you listen to last week's episode with Emily? I love having her on so much. I love having guests on, as I've said before. Um, so hopefully a few more of those to come in the future. But yeah, but I really thought we hit on some good stuff, and I just love her so much. So I love having her on. So I hope you guys listen to that episode. Um, but yeah, we're coming all 4th of July weekend. I am a little bit sick. Uh huh. So if you hear that in my voice, that would be why. Um, but I literally, as I I think I told you guys in previous episode, I was going to San Diego with a bunch of friends for the 4th of July, and I was leaving Thursday afternoon. I woke up Thursday morning with a sore throat, and I literally was like, nothing, nothing is holding me back this weekend. I went to the store, stocked up on cough drops, on that like Tylenol, severe, like sore throat medication, which maybe I shouldn't have been having that and drinking, but I was not letting anything hold me back that weekend, of course. I was like, I am pushing this sickness to the side, knowing though that coming back Monday, like it was gonna be rough. But you gotta do what you gotta do, you know? When you have a weekend plan with friends out of town over a holiday, and you have so many fun plans, like nothing, nothing was gonna hold me back. I did not let it take me down. Never would I. Um, but yeah, so now we are in recovery phase. Um got chicken noodle soup, got bone broth, got a nasal spray, got cough drops, got pseudoped. We're on all the drugs and everything right now. I don't have time for this, I don't have time to be sick. So um, yeah, we're we're trying to get over that now, but that's where we're at right now. So lots of water, lots of drugs, lots of nasal sprays. Um, but uh 4th of July was so much fun. I I'm geeked. I love a weekend away with friends. We got an Airbnb with a group of friends, and it was just so much fun. The Monday scaries this week are really, really scary. Um, but literally just had the best time. You know, when you just have such a good group of people and you're away for a weekend, it's summer, it's a holiday, everyone's out. Just a good group of people where everyone is positive, kind, fun, like just good vibes the whole time. No drama queens, no complainers, none of that. Like everyone is just like great, you know, and you just got such a good strong group because that doesn't always happen. Like, I just had the best time, and like it literally, like weekends like that re- after I was fucking spiraling before um about like life and feeling like I'm not doing enough and what am I doing with my life? Remember that, yeah, me too. Um, weekends like that really just remind you. I don't know what's important, recenters me, put a little pep in my step. Because I literally just left that weekend feeling like just full of laughter, so fun, full of smiles the whole time, and good people and good vibes. And like life is about those moments, right? Those moments and memories and experiencing that and just surrounding yourself with good people and like traveling and just taking in all that moments that you can and positivity and just all the things, you know, like overall the scheme of things, like making the most out of the people you're with and the time you have and where you're at is what it's about. And yeah, I literally just had the best time, so that felt really good and happy. Um, but yeah, just some things we did. We got there Thursday. Oh my god, there's so much fucking traffic Thursday driving down. I was like, okay, I'll take like between two and three hours. It took me like four and a half hours to get there. Like, I all the way from LA to San Diego, start to stop, start stop. Like, never had a flow of driving. And I was just like, no, I want to get there, and no, I'm running late. My Emily kept texting me, like, what city are you in? Where are you at? I'm like, I'm still trying to get out of LA, girl. I have not made it past the airport yet. Um, but that's okay. That's okay. We we don't let anything bring us down. So yeah, I got there a little late, rushed through my stuff in the Airbnb, called an Uber because I had a Love Island Watch party to get to. I had to get there for movie night part two. Um, yeah, so only a few of us got there Thursday, everyone else got there Friday. But so we've had there was a bar, Maverick's Beach House, that did a Love Island Watch party. So we hit up, hit up the Love Island Watch party. I was just a few minutes late, but I ran in there ready for it, and yeah, it was so fun. It's so funny seeing everyone's reactions um in person. Um that was a good time, and then that night we got dinner, we took dinner um to the beach, watched sunset, you know, just like that start of the trip vibes where like the whole weekend's ahead of you and you're just excited. Um, so yeah, really, really good vibes. Then we went to Lafayette Hotel, is what I think it's called. It's yeah, it's a hotel, but it's pretty much like a bunch of bars that happen to be a hotel, but it was really cool. I've never seen anything like it. Um there's many different bars in this one hotel, and they're all such very coolly decorated and different vibes and eccentric, and there was a speakeasy, which is where we spent most of our time, and there was like a really good DJ playing, good espresso martinis, like just really cool vibes. There's a game room, played some basketball, some skee ball, pool, all that. Um, yeah, uh yeah, it was just really cool to see. Um, so that was a lot of fun Thursday, and then Friday. Of course, we got up. We had to do a brunch, had bottles of mimosas flowing. Um, perfect way to start off the day. Really good food. Um, the waitress thought it was my birthday, and she thought my name was Julia, so that was funny. They brought out an espresso martini, and in the foam, it said happy birthday to my sis Julia. We were dying, not my sis Julia. So then my uh drunk alter ego for the whole weekend became Julia or my sis Julia. Um, yeah, we just had such a good time and then hit up a uh beach bar, um, played some games there, you know, just good times right on the beach. Then that night we went out and oh my god, did we get it down on the dance floor? I love, I love people who just don't give a fuck and just get it down on the dance floor. So lots of dancing, and then Saturday the fourth, a big group of people on the beach, like Bayside, in the water, volleyball, footballs, spike ball, a DJ, music, speakers, hot dogs, hamburgers, people, tubes, floaty boats, a dog running around. That was the cutest dog ever. Um, you know, so literally eight hours on the beach with all that, and then fireworks and games and stuff, and then we all left Sunday, and yeah, anyway, that's my little recap of the 4th of July. But literally nothing better than a good friend group and no drama and just just good times. But here I am now. I don't know if you can hear it in my voice. We are recovering, but we're pushing through post that weekend. It was worth it, it was worth it. Like, I don't know, I'm just not one of those people, I'm not gonna let anything take me down when I'm with my friends, you know. I will push through um and still have the best time ever. Nothing, nothing was going to take me out this past weekend. Um, but for this episode, I thought it'd be a good time because I have a few new followers on the podcast, on the social medias, and stuff like that. So I thought it'd be a good time to do another QA part two episode, stir up some topics. Um, yeah. So I asked people to send in questions, advice, story times, whatever. So I'm just taking all those questions that you guys sent in, and yeah, we're gonna answer those, get into those, uh, see what comes up. So I'm excited. So let's get into it. Um, okay.

Naming the Podcast

SPEAKER_00 9:58

First question is how did you come up with the name of the pod? Um, well, I knew I wanted when I was coming up with the pod and my idea, I knew I wanted it something along the lines of like being messy, being a rambler, um, being spiraling, being real, like just saying things how it is or what I'm thinking. So I was trying to think of options all along those lines. And of course, I really wanted something to like be catchy, like the name, I wanted it to be really good. So I kept coming up with names, kept sending them to people like my sisters and friends to vote on, saying what they liked or didn't like. And but every time you come up with one, I had to Google if a podcast already had that name because there are fucking million podcasts out there. So anytime you think you got something that is original, I'm sure there's a podcast with that name already out there. So there was a lot of trial and error, like coming up with names and seeing what stuck, what I actually liked, and then what didn't already have a podcast um named that of. And then yeah, I had it down to like casually spiraling and maybe two others and sent those options to my friends and sisters. Everyone voted for casually spiraling. That was the one that I think hit and stood out with me the most. I don't know, I really loved that name. No other podcast had that name. Um, copyright it, copyright it. Um, and yeah, it just felt like the perfect fit of what I was trying to do, of my vibe, of my style of podcasting, and kind of just like saying all my thoughts and rambling on my thoughts and how I was feeling about life and like just figuring life as I go around, really spiraling through it. But you know, just in a casual, cute way. Um, so yeah, I don't know. I just love it. I think it's fun. And yeah, it stood out. So that's how I came up with that. It was really just a lot of making lists of names, trial and error, voting, sending to friends and family to see see what uh caught other people's attention as

Should I do a reality show?

SPEAKER_00 12:06

well. Um, next question is would you ever want to star in a reality TV show? Okay, so obviously I've been talking about Love Island a bit. Um, we're coming down to the last week here of the summer. Um, and I love Love Island. That is the show that like hooks me on to some reality TV. I don't watch like the Bravo stuff, I don't watch like Housewives or stuff like that. I really just watch like Love Island, Love is Blind, like some of the dating um ones. And I've thought about it before Love Island. Um, I was like, that kind of like, well, it it looks like it drives them mentally insane, of course. But like especially after season six, like I think we all watch like PPG become such good friends, and like the group also, yeah, they were going through it, but just having such a good time and like um being in an experience together, and then of course you come out and you have like a platform and go that route. So I've definitely thought about it and I thought that could be fun. I feel like I would just be on there like to make friends. I literally joked about it. Like, how do people get such a big group of friends? I'm like, we just gotta go on Love Island because then you trauma bond and get a group friends. Um, but like PPG, I feel like that would literally be me. I don't know if I actually find my man on there, but I'd be in there uh making friends for sure and just goofing off. Um, so like definitely have thought about it before that it would be fun. Um, but in reality, I couldn't, I couldn't do it. One, I'd be sunburnt. Like, how the fuck are they all not burning all the time? They're out in the sun 24-7. Are we just not seeing them put on sunscreen? And even if so, how do they look like that? Like, the amount of sunscreen I have to wear, I am fully like crusty, white, pasty, oily, shiny, like slimy. That's how much sunscreen I would have to wear. So literally, no, I could not do it. And then I'd be bloated as fuck. Like, how are they they're in bikinis all day long, 24-7? Like, no, I can't, I can't do that. Um, those would be uh some of my reasons. So yeah, it'd be fun, but uh inevitably no, also because I am pursuing an acting career, and I think a lot of people that aren't in the industry would think, like, oh, that would help that, right? Uh no, if you're in the industry, you definitely know that would blacklist you from ever being taken seriously as an actor. Um, so if I wanted to go that like more influencer route um and just social media route, then yeah, of course that'd be helpful. But since I do want to pursue acting seriously and be taking seriously in that industry, that would just ruin that for me, I think, and just blacklist me. And like you wouldn't, you wouldn't maybe, yeah, it would help modeling maybe and other opportunities, but for what I want to do in acting, you would just be seen of like, oh, some reality star who thinks they can act or this or that, you know? So yeah, it definitely wouldn't help in that aspect. So that's definitely held me back from um from trying for that show or smitting or any of that. Um, I did get reached out too when I was in Atlanta by a casting director, not a LaVeilin show, um, but a different reality dating show. And uh like joked about it with friends, like, oh, what if do I respond or this and that? Um, I obviously didn't end up going through with it, but I did get reached out. So that's where like it definitely has crossed my mind and I thought about it, but no, it just it just wouldn't be helpful in my scenario. Maybe fun, maybe traumatizing, but maybe make some friends. But so I've thought about it, but no, wouldn't actually ever want to or don't think I'd go that route.

Being Told to Give Up on My Dreams

SPEAKER_00 15:59

Okay, question three Has anyone ever told you to give up your dreams? If yes, what do you say? Um, yeah. Um, it's it's funny when you tell people like, you know, all the time it just comes up like, what do you do? Um, why did you when I like told people I'd move places, why did you move places, yada yada yada, it always, you know, comes up like, oh, I'm pursuing acting, I'm an actress, whatever. Um, it can be really funny people's reactions for sure. Um, I can remember specific moments. I used to work at an LA Fitness, um, and guests would like see me working there, ask whatever. They would think I'm still in college, be like, no, I'm not in college, I do whatever. And a specific person, and this has happened multiple times, but I remember the specific moment, they're like, and I tell them, Oh, I'm an actress. They're like, Oh, maybe you should like, I don't know, be a producer, a director, or someone behind the scenes, because that's like way more easier, and you'll have such more of a chance of making it, you know. They just full-on kept going on and on about how I should not go down the acting route and I should go down a different area in the entertainment industry route. And for some reason they think that is easier and more likely, and I'll be more successful going that way. And that even though I want to be an actress, just should ignore that completely and just go down a different route. Um, yeah, it's crazy. People hear that and they're like, isn't that like really low percentage of making it? Like, why would you do that? Don't you want to pursue something more reliable, um, more um realistic? Like, all things like that. People will say the craziest things when you tell them that you are an actress and pursuing acting. Um, which also side note, like becoming a producer, director, people just assume that's like just easier something. Like, yeah, right, as if that is so easy that it's so hard to get into and be successful at. Um, so no, that wouldn't necessarily be an easier route. Um, but it's just crazy how some people, yeah, immediately uh want to, even though they know nothing about the industry or in it whatsoever, from their outside perspective, they want to tell you their opinion and that you should do something better with your life and more realistic. Because what are you doing? And really, um, yeah, I think that just comes from people who are too scared to ever take a risk and pursue something that they actually want to. Um, so yeah, and it's always luckily for me, the people who actually know me and in my life have never gotten that from them. It this is only like people that you tell randomly um or me in other scenarios. It's never, it's never the people that actually matter who have told me this. So I'm very lucky in that way. Um, parents, family, siblings, all that have been very supportive. Um, I mean, of course, there's some people who are like, like, are you sure? Aren't you scared? This or that, kind of questioning it that kind of make you feel shitty. So yeah, some people do do that, but they're they're just unaware of how they make you feel sometimes when they ask those questions and what they're saying. But yeah, I just think people who are insecure and who could never take a risk and like that are the ones that want to make you feel that way and make you feel bad for taking a risk um on yourself. So I just kind of look at it like that. Um, I've never been one to give it a second thought or uh let other people's opinions of me um change my mind and what I want to do and what I'm pursuing. Yeah, it's obviously a scary thing, but I don't know. I think good comes out of that. I've just always had a mindset of I'd rather try and go for it than ever regret not trying at all. It's what I wanted to do, like literally since I can remember being a little kid, so why would I not go for it, you know? So I just like try to not let other people other people's opinions, I don't know. When people react that way, it just seems so small to me and insecure and out of their own fears and their own regrets, you know. So it just more makes me proud of who I am and what I'm doing versus make me feel bad about myself, usually. It makes me usually feel sad for the other person that they live their life that way kind of thing. But yeah, it's interesting because when I was a kid in middle school and high school doing theater and stuff, like I was never the lead, I was never got a big part or anything. Like, I don't think anyone thought I would be the one to stick with it post-high school, because even though everyone in theater in high school, barely anyone takes it into college, and then out of the people who pursue it in college, most of them are not pursuing acting post-college. Um, which is yeah, it's crazy. Um, it's you don't necessarily need the degree to pursue it, but anyway, the amount of us, at least from my class, that are actually pursuing it, you know, it really, it really drops off. Um, so I don't think anyone in those scenarios would have looked at me and thought I would be the one to keep going and take it seriously. And I knew that in those moments. I knew that in high school, I knew that in theater. Um, even though I know theater wasn't my like ultimate goal and passion, it was just, you know, a learning ground and a starting ground. And I knew I was, I was always in the ensembles, I was never the leader, this or that. It wasn't a didn't stand out, I guess, as uh the star then. Even in those scenarios, I don't I never questioned not pursuing it. I always just had it in my head as a kid, like, well, yeah, I'm just gonna keep going and get better, and it's gonna happen for me, you know? I'm gonna be the one to keep going and pursuing, and that's just what I stuck to, and I loved that for me. Um, and I am not the same person, obviously, as I was then, and I did. I just kept learning and growing and got more confident and then did evolve and the flip did the switch did flip. Um and yeah, I just remembered too in high school and younger and stuff, doing um auditions for theater short films. I would be so scared going into those, like literally so scared. And obviously my auditions reflected that then. But even when those were like the scariest days for me, even then I never questioned, oh well, I'm not gonna do this. I like still I which is funny and crazy kind of at such a young age, and those were the scariest days and scariest moments, but it never dawned on me that oh, I'm gonna stop this because I'm scared or not do it, you know? You just keep going and going, and now I love auditions, and they're not scary, and they're exciting and fun and playful, and yeah, I don't know. Long story short, um, yes, people have told me, and no, I have not let that ever affect me, even my own thoughts. And I was just always so aware that I was not perceived as the star or the one to, you know, make it this or that, but I don't know. I just always had it in my head as a kid of what I'm doing and what I'm going after, and was not didn't give a fuck about anyone else because I knew what I was doing, you know? So hopefully that helped. I hope that I think that stirred up some good things. Obviously, this pertains to anything, not just acting. So just if you set your mind to something, you can just you just push through and you keep going after it, you know. Okay.

My Podcast Rotation

SPEAKER_00 23:47

Next question is what are your favorite podcasts to listen to? I listen to a lot. Um, hopefully I can remember them all. But let's see, I listen to Girls Gotta Eat, Call Her Daddy, Armchair Expert, Smartless, Good Hang, Chicks in the Office, uh, New Heights, Extra Dirty. I'll listen to Some Therapus, um, In Your Dreams, Audrey Helps Actors, Work in Progress. Um there's a lot. I think that's the core ones. But yeah, I always I always have lists of podcast episodes I'm going through. Always listening to a podcast, working out in the shower, getting ready, podcast interviews always going off on my phone. So yeah, I'm constantly, constantly listening to podcasts. Literally last night, this is so embarrassing, but I was literally like talking to Emily, um, hanging out with her, and we were talking about something, and I was like, wait, wasn't it you that I was talking about this with? And yada, yada, yada, I said it. She's like, no, that wasn't me. And I was like, oh my God, it dawned on me. This wasn't a conversation I had from someone with someone. It was literally something I listened to in a podcast, and I like totally forgot that. And I thought I had this conversation with someone, but no, it was just something I heard in a podcast, and I was like, oh my gosh, maybe it's too much. Maybe I'm listening to too many, taking it too far. Um, so yeah, I listen to a lot. I'm inspired by a lot. Um, I learn from a lot of them. Um, I like getting information that way. I love interviews. Um, I love learning about things I wouldn't have otherwise. Um, yeah, so I listen to a

Maintaining Friendships

SPEAKER_00 25:39

lot. Okay, number five, next question. How do you maintain your high school friendships after all this time? After all this time, damn, calm down. How old do you think I am? I'm just kidding. It is after all this time. It has been a minute. We are 10-year anniversary, I think, reunion, whatever, from from when I graduated high school, which is crazy. So, so yes, it is after all this time. Um, but yeah, a lot of people, I think after high school lose touch with their high school friends. Um, that was never me. Um, still some of my best friends are from high school. Um, three of them particularly, still best friends, still so close. Um, never even thought of losing touch with them. Um, but yeah, I think a lot of people lose touch with their high school friends. You know, you make new friends in college, everyone moves away, gets new jobs and lives and this and that. But yeah, I'm very lucky to still have some of my best friends from high school. Um, but we're always in touch. We're always texting, group chats. Uh, once a week, we do these Wednesday waffles with my friends where we just send photos and updates from our past week. So that, like, even if we don't have any major life updates, it's just a way that forces you to stay in touch, forces you to update each other on our lives, keep talking, um, knowing what's going on and what we're going through. Um, because you know, life gets busy. We are all living in different areas, we're all in different time zones, um, doing different things on different schedules. We're adults, so it can be difficult to always find time to keep in touch. So having that weekly thing like is a really good just scheduled in. We know we're gonna talk on Wednesdays at least. Um, but we always end up talking more than just that. Um, we send voice memos, constant FaceTimes. Um, we're always planning trips together. So we always know, like, planning the next time you're gonna see each other in person. We're always taking turns visiting each other. Like Ange and Meg came out to LA in January. Um, I'm currently planning a girl's trip um with Meg and our other friend from high school, Shannon. Um, Angie, I'm gonna see at the end of August, and then we're planning a trip to visit her. She's moving um to Nashville, so when she moves at in like November, December, we're gonna go visit her there, and then I'll be home for Christmas. So we always make sure there's a day or two where we all get together when I'm whenever I'm home in Pennsylvania. So yeah, it's just always taking turns, visiting each other, planning trips, meet in the middle somewhere, see a new place, do weekends, girls' weekends. Very, very important. Um yeah, always just making the time for each other, always knowing the next time we're gonna see each other in person, have that to look forward to. Um, yeah, it's really just keeping in touch and that constant communication, FaceTimes. And that doesn't mean like we don't go periods without chatting sometimes. Um that does happen for sure. Um, but whenever we do talk, it's like we never stop talking. Um, and then there's periods where we're FaceTiming each other multiple times a week, and then recently there's been periods where we're more busy. So it's like once or twice a month, you know? Um, but it's just finding the time, staying connected, and making the effort. I think all friendships need to be like a two-way street. If one person is only the one making the effort, then I don't know, that doesn't really seem like a fair friendship to me. And I think I would start taking that as, oh, the other person doesn't care about this friendship as much. So it friendships have to be reciprocal. Um, it has to be a back back and forth. There has to be understanding there um for each other's lives at the moment, and yeah, so communication, check-ins, trips, all that kind of stuff um keeps us

What I've Learned About Myself

SPEAKER_00 29:46

really close. The next question would be what have you learned about yourself through podcasting? Um, that I can yap and yap and yap by myself. It's crazy. I always um did like picture when I had a dream of wanting a podcast, I always pictured doing it with someone and having a co-host and not just be by myself. Um and I still would love that someday. I love my guest episodes, I love interviewing people, all that kind of stuff. Um, but obviously I didn't want to wait around. I didn't want to wait around to meet the right person or for someone else to say yes and commit to it as much as I did. So that's why I decided to start it on my own. Excuse me. Um my uh sore throat just came in right there. Um, so yeah, but that definitely has taught me it can be crazy to just talk with yourself for an hour straight. But I've been doing it now for like 30 episodes. So I do know that I really can yap and yap and yap. Um I might have known that before, but now I really know it. And I have a lot of thoughts up there, and I have a lot of opinions, and I think I've learned other people do too. Um, other people share the same fears, thoughts, concerns, struggles that I do, which has been really fulfilling to know that me like sharing personally the exact things I'm going through and like my rambling crazy thoughts that I don't even know what the fuck is going on up in my brain sometimes. But like getting it out here and sharing that with you guys, I've received some messages of people who have said, like, you're literally seem like you're me. I'm going through the same thing. I like this episode and this topic, like I have been having the same fears and thoughts. So it's really taught me that I guess I'm not alone in what I'm feeling, and that these struggles are validated, these concerns, these spirals where I'm going back and forth between I don't know what is like very valid, very relatable, um, and that I'm not the only one going through it, even though I am like the only one here um talking by myself, but yeah, and that these unfiltered maybe moments and thoughts and stuff that maybe are sometimes are crazy for me to just get on here and say in the moment, but that they aren't too much, and you know, they are what others are thinking sometimes, and maybe exactly what others are thinking sometimes. So I think it's important that if you have a lot to say, like don't don't dim your voice, don't dim your light. Say it, have discussions with people. Um, I think the more that you have discussions with people and are honest and open with people, then the more you find out that you aren't alone and there are others going through the same things you are and that are just like you. Um, I think a lot of people maybe are scared to talk about certain things and bottle shit up, and that just makes things worse. That makes you feel more alone. Um, so I've definitely learned I am a talker and I need to talk to things, and communication is the most important. Um, and even when I'm going through stuff, I've learned that keeping things inside just fuels my anxiety. So even if I'm not getting a solution or I don't have a solution or no one's giving me advice, I think just me saying the words out loud and what my thoughts and feelings and anxieties are out loud simmers them and calms them down. I don't know what it is about it, but I think just keeping things inside makes me um it enhances my fears and anxieties and makes it seem more scary and daunting. But when I get it out to people and just let the words out, then it really simmers it, makes them less scary, makes it more realistic and okay and accepted and valid and all those things. So yeah, yeah. I guess yeah, I've learned I'm not alone. If you have questions, fears, anxieties, you should you should talk them out with people because just that itself will probably make you feel better. Okay.

Best Therapy Experience

SPEAKER_00 34:04

Next question. Um, number seven, best therapy experience. Okay, this is a topic that I'll probably bring up in another episode um therapy journey altogether. Um therapy definitely recently we've been hearing a lot more talk about it. It's much more openly discussed, it's much more common, it's not as taboo or like what's wrong with you, you're in therapy, or like just one major thing needs to happen, and that's the only way people get into therapy now. I think many people are discovering like that they do just need someone to talk to, even if they're not going through anything crazy, or even if they are going through something crazy, like having someone to talk to is an amazing thing, and it's doesn't make you insane, it doesn't make you weird or whatever, and it's just so much more normalized and talked about. Anyway, with that all being said, um, I guess a little background on therapy. Um recently I've been dating, dating around therapists, I may say, and it is such an intimidating dating thing. I think it's one of the reasons I put it off for a while, is because I know like you have to find the right fit for you, and that just seems exhausting. Um, but I'll take it back a minute. I guess my first ever therapy experience was back uh like four years ago when I was right before I was going through my breakup. Well, I tried to get both of us into therapy, and I don't think that really worked for my partner. Um, that was a difference that we had. I was trying, trying to hold on so tight to that relationship, even though I shouldn't have been. I was trying to do everything I could to work through it, obviously. Um, but I needed to do that for myself. Um, but yeah, obviously that didn't that didn't work, but it worked for me because I I then personally started therapy myself because I knew, okay, even if my partner at the time wasn't gonna do it um or wasn't open to talking about it uh or trying that out, that I knew I needed things to talk about and I needed someone to talk them through, and I was going through this experience for the first time, and I had no idea what the fuck I was doing or what I was feeling or what decisions I should be making for myself. So I needed someone at least for me to talk to. So um, and I was working at Starbucks at the time, and they provided free therapy um through Lyra. So I did find someone to talk through, and it did help me a lot in that circumstance. It helped me come to my decision, it helped me clear my thoughts, figure out what I wanted, um, and tried to help me, you know, figure out the best way to go about it. Um, but that program was kind of like a temporary thing. They were more of like, we want to give you tools so then you go off and do things on your own. Um, so yeah, I did therapy a little bit like here and there while I was working at Starbucks, and then I got laid off, as we know, back uh in a September, October, so I didn't have that like access directly to it anymore. And then so I kind of just put off getting a new one or figuring out how because insurance is a fucking bitch and makes it so fucking difficult to get one. I don't even we can talk about that as well. It's so so sad that it's so hard and difficult to get help for your mental health. Um, anyway, quite frustrating. But um, yeah, recently though, I definitely, with what I've been talking about, trying to find myself confidence, self-esteem, figuring out what the fuck I'm doing, um, not feeling like I'm not doing enough or not enough and this and that. All the things I've been spiraling about too lately. I don't know. I've been tipping my toe back into the idea therapy. And but I've been struggling, yeah, with finding the right one. Um because I yeah, I've been dating around. That was always something that held me back. I was like, oh, I don't want to take the time to meet a new person and tell them all this stuff. I just want them to already know what I'm going through so I don't have to explain myself. And like I just want to know and find the right person. I was seeing someone I just recently decided they aren't the right fit for me. Um so I'm still in the process of dating, dating therapists and finding the right one. Um, so I guess my best experience so far would just be it helped me come to terms with where I needed to be in my life and what I wanted for myself um a few years ago. Um, but this is a whole topic I want to get into because I have had even more bad experiences. I actually started with bad experiences back in college trying to talk to someone about stuff, and that can really be um be like harsh on a person and steer people away from good therapy and good therapists. Um, it can really make someone not feel good, and I've had some of those experiences, so yeah, I'm gonna talk all about that in a future episode. Um, because I've had some really bad experiences trying to tell talk to people about things, and I've had some really good ones. So we're gonna get all into that, and hopefully, as I date around more, I'll have more and more good experiences. So updates to come on that.

Taylor & Travis Married at MSG

SPEAKER_00 39:38

Um, okay, next question. Oh, okay. Thoughts on Taylor and Travis married at MSG. Oh my gosh. Um, okay. No one come for me. Not that I even have so such strong opinions. I'm not a Swifty per se. Um, I respect her the hard work. I know she's so hardworking, the dedication, such a talented songwriter. Um, really incredible. I know that. I just am not a Swifty, you know. I'm not all into her music and this or that. But respect it and I am aware and acknowledge how hardworking she is and how talented she is. Um, and then of course I'm a football fan. I listen to New Heights, so I know Travis, but obviously I prefer Jason. Duh, the better brother. But anyway, they got married at MSG. My thoughts. Um, when they first rumor came out about this, I was like, this has to be like a deploy because why would anyone want to get married at a stadium and arena? And I'm like, their whole careers are both are both in stadiums and arenas all the time. So I'm like, why would you want to do that? You could go anywhere, like somewhere more magical than like in a dark stadium. But I know they had so much to consider, like, they don't want it to be found, they want super security lockdown, they don't want helicopters, like if they were to do somewhere outside, like they are so famous that I think people would find them wherever they were at. So they needed probably so many things to consider that I don't even know about. You know, they had to have all those extra protocols and security and thoughts than a normal couple would. So I can't judge it because who knows what they had to think about going in and trying to keep it protected and sacred and just like a good loving day between them. Um, but yeah, no, would I would I ever expect that? No. I thought they would be in some crazy outdoor like field or something with a bunch of flowers and pretty stuff. Um, but with all their money, I'm sure they turned it into looking however they wanted and something really beautiful. Um, at this point, no photos, we don't know yet, but yeah, I don't know. I was surprised. I wouldn't want that for myself, but um, I'm sure it was great for them. Who knows? And not what I expected, but also have to acknowledge all the extra security stuff that they have to think about and the keeping it a secret stuff that a normal couple or even like another famous couple that's not on their caliber would have to worry about. So there are circumstances for sure, but not for me. Um, and was shocked by it.

Bugs vs. Puddles Horror Story

SPEAKER_00 42:28

Okay, number nine. Okay, this question is from my sister. I just had to throw it in here for her, and she just she just knows me so well. And this question will lead to some stories, I think. But the question is would you rather kill a bug in your apartment or drive your car through a huge puddle? Now you may think, why the fuck is she asking this question? Um, yeah, but if you know me, these are some two things about my life. One, I hate bugs. I hate bugs so much. Like, no. If I know there's a spider in the room, like it's gotta be killed. I'm not sleeping. But the thing is, see, I hate bugs so much that I do kill them and I will make sure they are dead. I can't live in there, sleep in there without knowing it's dead, right? So I have had to be the one to step up and take it in my own hands. Do I hate it? Yes, but I want bugs that are in my space killed so badly. Give me all the hate for that, whatever. Um, that I will be the one to do it if no one else is there to step up the plate to the plate. I'm an independent woman. I need to do it for myself. I've also lived in North Carolina and Atlanta, Georgia. Huge, huge cockroaches, water bugs, all the things. I've lived in infested apartments, and if you know me, you would be shocked that I survived through those. Experiences, but hey, they made me stronger. Um, I am a strong woman because of it. Um, yeah, yeah. One one loft that I lived in in North Carolina um was infested. I had to get pest control, but it was like a loft. So obviously I had the downstairs area, and then my bedroom was upstairs. And once I turned those lights out at night and went upstairs, I could not go downstairs until daytime because what would come out at night down there was disgusting. And oh, my bathroom was downstairs. So if I had a pee in the middle of the night, it was the scariest thing ever. I either would want to go down there blind, so I didn't know, or I had to like go down there prepared to fight for 20 minutes, fighting for my life to go to the bathroom. Because what would come out at night? Oh, there was these like so many of these little bugs that I guess lived under my refrigerator, and they just grew and grew and grew, and they're like impossible to get rid of. I had to have pest control come in there and spray so many times, and they would all come out at night, and then the water bugs and the cockroaches come out at night. They love the dark. Those are the most gross and disgusting, and you're living by the when you're living by the beach and in the humidity, like they are everywhere, like walking around at night, they're just everywhere. And that place had a lot of them shared walls with uh not very clean people. This really loud old DJ man um I shared a wall with. Um, so that's an interesting story as well. Um, so no matter how clean you are, like living in an apartment, it depends on who you share your walls with. Because also, then the horrible place I was in in Atlanta that I told the story of me needing to get a lawyer for and going to co court for and all that, whatever. Um, that's a whole different story I told on a previous episode. That place was infested, like always being scared to open a cabinet. Again, so many cockroaches. The first night I moved in there, I cried because they all come out at night, like they're not there during the day when you're touring a place. And then the first nights you sleep there, so many. I was like, what did I do? I can't believe I moved in here. Oh, so gross. Always had sprays on deck, cockroach sprays, the raid shit. I would smack them with a book, um, whatever I had to do. Oh, I literally lived with so many infested apartments, so that was just part of my journey. Um, in those humid, hot places, so many water bugs, so many cockroaches that literally PTSD, but living in my place now, like I'm like, oh my gosh, I can turn on a light and not be afraid of seeing that, or open a cabinet and not being afraid of what's crawling around in there. Like a knock on wood, but good, thank God. Over here, there's not all that humidity and stuff that keeps those bugs everywhere, or I haven't lived in a place here that is super infested. Um, yeah, there are like maybe more spiders, but I rather a spider than cockroaches and water bugs any day. Oh my gosh. Um one time I got back from winter break in North Carolina and they I found a cockroach in my closet, and then I lost it. Like I'm I didn't see where it went. So I called my dad on the phone. I was like, Dad, there's a cockroach in my closet, and I'm tearing up my whole closet until I found it and killed it. Like I couldn't let it just be in my closet in my clothes and not know if when I would go pick out a shirt or something and put it on and there'd be a cockroach in there. Like, no, that was not gonna happen. So I pulled every single piece of clothes of my closet and shuck it until I found that sucker and smacked it with a textbook all while I was on the phone with my dad. Well, he was nine hours away and couldn't do anything but just listen to me scream. Um, so yeah, I would I've killed some bugs in my day because I can't stand to let them know that they were alive and in my things. Um, and then driving my car through a huge puddle. Um, do we remember? I think I told the story on here. Um, I'll try and keep it short because I did, I think, tell the story, but I don't remember for sure. Anyway, pretty much I drowned my car when I lived in Atlanta. There was a huge storm, hurricane, um, sewers got clogged up. So this entry entry ramp to the highway got flooded. They didn't close it off yet. So there's a car in front of me and me. We go to go on this on ramp, and it is just filled with water. The car in front of me, their car just died out. My car died out in the middle of this water. I'm literally floating. The car is moving, swaying back and forth in water. I'm freaking the fuck out. I call my dad again, um, knowing again he can't be there to help me, but I was like, well, like, need someone, some support on the phone. Um, so I call him, knowing that he could remain calm in these situations. And of course, my mom answers the phone, and I don't want to freak her out, but I'm freaking out. So she answers my dad's phone, and I'm just like, put dad on, put dad on the phone. Like, I am just like trying to get uh to him because I didn't want to freak her out, but then I'm freaking out, so I get my dad on the phone and he's like, Well, get out and get to higher ground. So I'm like, ah, but it's like the water's so high, and it was like 10 p.m. It was dark out. So I get out of the car, the water is like above my knees. I like go to higher ground, call the police firemen. Five firemen have to come and push my car out. Um, and she died. She sure did die. Me and this other guy who it happened to were just standing on the side of the highway, like, what the fuck happened? Of course, they closed the road, the on-ramp, right after we went through it. Like, we were the last two cars to go through before they decided to close off that flooding road. Um, and yeah, I was just on the side of the road. I sent a Snapchat video to my sisters of my car just in the water, swaying back and forth, drowning. And they didn't process that that was my own car. They were just like, oh, that sucks. Like, what happened there? I'm like, that is my car. They were like, oh, they didn't realize it was my car. They thought that was just like a car I saw and took a video of. But I was like, nope, that is my car. So yeah, I did drown my car. Um, so now anytime it rains or there is any kind of puddle, my family makes fun of me for driving. Like, I can't drive through puddles. Uh I driving through lots of rain in the dark. Sometimes I'm like, ah, am I gonna survive? Um, because I've always had like older cars, used cars that give me problems. Um, so I I don't know, I've never had, I feel like a trusty car. Um, I just always have car issues. Um, because I'm always, you know, driving older used cars. So I could never trust one of my cars in a rainstorm or driving through a huge puddle. So yeah, that's why she asked that. Um, and that's why she knows me so well. Because those are two bad things that have happened in my life and that I've had to live through.

Is This Man Taking me Seriously?

SPEAKER_00 51:34

Um, okay, so let's go on to the last question. Last question is gonna be if you meet a guy and go on a date, how do you know he is serious about you? Okay, um, I think if you're questioning at all, then he's not serious about you. Um, again, take my advice with a grain of salt because I'm single. But in my experience, if they are into you, you will know it and they will show it. Kaiser, like they will show it and not just say it. You know, never just listen to people's words. Your actions show more than words. So if they are actively planning to see you, wanting to see you, and communicating with you constantly, then I think that means that they take you seriously. If you are questioning anything or concerns, like, oh, does he like me? Why am I not hearing from him? I don't know when I'm gonna see him next, he's not planning any dates or this and that. There should be no questioning, especially at the beginning. Like, I don't want to say it, but also I do like if he would, if he wanted to, he would, and you would know. So I think if there's any question at all, then he's not taking you seriously. Like, when they want to, they will take the time to send the text, the two seconds they need to send text. They will make the effort, they will let you know that they're trying to see you, they will plan, and so you know each time the next time you're gonna see each other. So if there's any question or doubt, then he's not taking you seriously. Like, you will know, I think, if you're being taken seriously. Like, literally, it's so easy to show and stay in contact and to send a text, make a phone call, plan a date. So um, yeah, if you wanted to, and he's making the effort to see you and plan things and make the time to see you, then I think that means they're taking you seriously. Um, and I think yeah, you would feel secure in that feeling. Um, but if you're questioning things, then babe, that's it. That's it. It's done. You're not being taken seriously. It's so easy to make you feel that secure. And so yeah, if you wanted to, you would. It's so classic, but it's true. So yeah, listen to your gut, trust your instincts. Um, you don't want to be questioned anything with your person, anything, right? So even if you are questioning shit, then maybe that's not your person anyway, or not the kind of person that you want to be with, because you should want to be with someone who um makes that effort and makes you feel wanted and seen and cared for and all those things. So if he wanted to, he would. And if you're questioning anything, then it's over. You shouldn't be questioning it. Not at the beginning, not at the first few dates, you know. Like you you will know and trust and listen to that because I feel like the issue is a lot of guys ignore a girls, sorry, a lot of girls ignore that. Like, guys will literally be not putting in any effort, or they're literally will tell girls straight up that they don't want anything serious, or they don't want this or that, and girls love a fixer, they think they can fix a guy, they love someone they can work on, or think, oh, I'll be the one to change his mind, I'll be different, this and that, and that just no, no, no, no, no. And not not that I'm putting any blame on girls, of course. Um, but I think, yeah, just knowing what you want, they'll show it, listen to it, take their words and actions, take it as truth, because yeah, it'll be straight up. No questioning. If you're questioning it, it's over. No questioning, you will know. You will know. Okay. That was the last question um that I have for today. Uh, I loved these questions. Thanks for sending them in. I think they spark good combo. Um, more topics that I want to get into deeper and more fully, um, some fun stories. And yeah, so I hope if any of you listeners are here now, um, you have to know me a little bit, a little bit more about my podcast. Um, I hope you're enjoying the episodes. There are now, I think I think this episode 29 or 30, maybe. We're right there. So there's so much content and episodes to listen to. Go back, share, comment, subscribe. Please subscribe and follow. So you constantly are getting the new episodes downloaded. Um, share with your friends. Um, I'm really enjoying this community that I'm trying to build. So yeah, I just want to keep expanding it and uh yeah, get in touch with more of you guys. So I hope you're having a great week. And I will see you next Thursday. Bye.