Sunsets and Skateboards - Overcoming Panic and Finding Joy With Milly Manley

What if the thing that scares you most is the very thing that brings you back to life?

In this episode, Milly Manley shares how, at 40, she stepped into something she never thought was for her, skateboarding and found far more than just a new hobby.

From panic and self-doubt, to freedom, joy, and unexpected sisterhood, this is a story about stepping out of your old identity and creating a new one.

You’ll hear how an everyday item led to a powerful practice of being present, letting go of expectations, and reconnecting with fun.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

•  Why you don’t have to be good at something to truly enjoy it 
•  How to experience joy alongside fear, not after it disappears 
•  The unexpected power of beginner spaces and female community 
•  Why midlife might be the perfect time to try something ridiculous 
•  How movement can become less about fitness and more about freedom 

If you’ve ever told yourself that’s not for me, This conversation might just change your mind.

Because sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is get on the board while you’re still scared.

Find out more about Milly at @MillyManley

Follow the podcast on Instagram:  @unshrinkablemidlfemoves

Find out more about Onika on Instagram: @lifeopenedup

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:10

What if the thing that set you free started with a pair of socks? That's exactly how it began for Millie, a woman who describes herself as terrified of everything, prone to panic attacks and absolutely certain that skateboarding was not for her. Then she turned 40 and everything changed. In this episode, Millie takes us on an unexpected journey from watching a breathtaking longboard dancer glide along a sunsaked coastline on Instagram to nervously walking into a skate park in Portsmouth and feeling like she could take on the world. This isn't just a story about skateboarding. It's about what happens when a woman decides to stop sitting on the sidelines of the scary, silly, joyful things in life. It's about the moment you realise that fear and fun can exist at the same time, and that choosing fun might just be the most radical thing you can do in your 40s. Millie talks about the growing community of midlife women picking up boards, the magic of spaces when nobody cares if you're good, and she also gets into the practical stuff. Where to go, what board to buy, and why five minutes on a skateboard in your kitchen might matter more than you think. Whether you've never touched a board in your life or you've quietly been watching from the sidelines thinking, I wish I could do that, this one's for you. Because it turns out it is for you. It always was. I'm Anika Griffith Elliott, and this is Unshrinkable Midlife Moves. Get something to drink and get comfortable as we dive in. Hi Millie, it's good to see you today. Hello, good to see you too. You are going to be talking to us today about skateboarding and how you got into that. I can't wait to hear about it. But before we get into it, tell us a bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

I'm Millie and I've recently turned 40 and I'm quite an active person, but by no means an Olympian athlete. I've always been an active person, but not really a gym bunny. I just kind of dip in and out of things. So in my 20s, I did quite a bit of recycling and 30s as well, and not lycra clad, but some big trips and big adventures. And I did a half marathon about 15 years ago, which led to a marathon maybe 10 years ago. But I mostly like a 5K, a park run or whatever. But I don't love running, but it always feels good afterwards. And I really like to get in a lunchtime walk, or I do like a walk in the mountains or you know, a walking-based trip, but nothing too extreme. So yeah, I like to be active. I know it makes me feel good, but I don't have really strict regimes. So unexpectedly I've kind of ended up at skateboarding. And I guess we'll chat more about that today.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

Yes, we will. So I am intrigued to find out how you found skateboarding, what made you say yes to it and what it's been like. It all started with a pair of socks.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

My boyfriend bought me a pair of socks, a skateboard brand. I was just having a chat with my colleagues that, you know, wouldn't it be fun if we learnt to skateboard outside the office? But we'd probably drive everyone mad with the sound. I've never really been anyone that was interested in skateboarding or board sports because I frankly I'm terrified of everything. And I just thought that really wasn't for me. But I just went on a little mind journey and I was thinking about longboarding, which, if you don't know, is just a longer skateboard. And I thought, well, if if I'm gonna try anything, it needs to be that because I think it looks a bit more stable and there's maybe a lower center of gravity. So through Instagram, was really inspired by some people that I saw, mainly Valeria Gorgonskoya. I hope I've pronounced her name. She's a beautiful longboard dancer, and so I saw her videos and just thought that looks amazing. So just picture a really beautiful woman longboarding and dancing while on the board by the sea with the sunset behind them. I mean, who doesn't want to be that person and give that a go? Yeah, I can't even imagine that actually. That sounds amazing. Yeah, so I don't have aspirations to ever be like Val, but but we don't need to be dewy to have fun on our journey. So she runs with her partner Axel the longboard camp in Portugal. So I went along for a weekend longboard camp. And as I'm really averse to any sort of adrenaline and prone to panic attacks, my main goal was to be able to skate just a few meters without having a panic attack. So just get from A to B and not give up and surrender to fear. And yeah, the weekend went really well, and I achieved far more than I could ever have expected. You left with a new group of friends, it was a really international crowd, it was a really female empowering environment, and I was just hooked from there, but not with the opportunity to practice much back home. So kicked it off last August with the longboarding camp, but then didn't really start to then skateboard rather than longboard until January this year. So that's where the skateboarding journey's taken off.

SPEAKER_00 5:01

Okay, brilliant. Tell us a bit about that. Has it been quite different to skateboard compared to the longboarding? Have you enjoyed it the same amount, or is it something that you're growing into?

SPEAKER_01 5:12

So I really thought I was really skateboard averse as well because you see people going up and down ramps and doing tricks and falling over a lot. And that wasn't what I'd set out to do. But actually, we're really fortunate to have lots of indoor skate parks these days. So just to find somewhere flat and dry to have a go at being on a board, just the board skills, staying on a plank of wood with four wheels and not falling over, I found myself going to skate parks. So I thought, you know, it's set up more for skateboarding. You've got all the equipment there, but also, you know, for a long board, you really want a long promenade or a long flat extent of some nice ground to skate on. So I just thought, okay, maybe I'll get a skateboard and give it a go and see what happens. So I kind of geeked out on skateboards and spent a lot of time swatting up on YouTube and asked some really nice people at the indoor skate park who gave me lots of tips and advice and let me try different boards. Ended up putting my own setup together and yeah, it's kind of gone from there. But really, the main thing was just being confident enough to go to the skate park as a 40-year-old woman who can't skate. And it's typically quite a male-dominated sport. Skate parks are often male-dominated places. So I was fortunate enough to have a partner who would go with me. And actually, without him by my side, just the confidence to walk in, that was quite nerve-wracking. Really grateful to him for joining me to just get there. But then through that, I've managed to make some friends there. And what I've discovered is actually there's a huge world of women's skateboarding beginner community. So that's the crux of it. I think it's interesting, it's encouraging, and it's kind of what I want to share with everybody. When you talk about the indoor skate parks, where are they based? Where are you based? So I'm near Chichester, and so I've been going to Pitt Street, which is in Portsmouth. It's a community organization. It's in an old Sainsbury's. So if you can imagine skating around the supermarket, it's a really fantastic place and it's really affordable. Some of their sessions are just five pounds for three hours for children, and they can support you with costs or provide sessions if you need that. You can hire the equipment and all the pads for your elbows and your knees and things. They do free fruit for everyone. So, yeah, so that's a fantastic place. So, shout out to Pit Street if anyone from there is listening. And they have beginner sessions on Sunday mornings, girls' nights on the last Monday of every month. So there's something for everyone and a loads of support. So that's just one place, and there will be places like that across the country. But of course, you're more fortunate if you live near enough to travel to one. Another place that I'm learning is the skate club in Hove, near Brighton. So that's a weekly club subscription. There's people of all levels there, we're all adults. There's quite a few girls and women as well. And we have two coaches, so they're trained to help us along our way. You know, any tips that you need, confidence, hand holding, they're there for you. And you can slowly progress with their support. So definitely through winter in the UK, if you can find an indoor skate park and the right kind of session for you, whether it's a girls' night beginner session or a coach session, that's a really great way to get into it.

SPEAKER_00 8:26

It sounds like it. So you touched on the fact that there is a beginner's community. So is that really easy to access? Is it quite visible or is it something that you discovered by asking people?

SPEAKER_01 8:37

Yeah, I think they're easy to find. And I never thought I'd be someone championing social media, but actually I had a big life change a few years ago and I've moved where I lived. Getting interested in the longboarding and the skateboarding came through Instagram. I found the longboard camp through Instagram and I found this community that I'm talking about now through that. So looking for people online or just following, if you see one video that you like, follow the trail of where that takes you. Some people that I've met, there's Board Women, which is a podcast as well. I recommend checking out. Run by Caroline, but she organises events and meetups, which are generally south, but also London and North as well. That's not just for beginners, but it's for board sports for women. But naturally, midlife women there are lots of us starting board sports now, and we're all here to cheer each other on. Just through those kind of things. Girls' night at Pitt Street on the last Monday of every month. I met a group, We Skate Sutton from Southampton. So they're all women-led. Anyone can go, it doesn't just have to be women, but they support each other just to turn up and share their skills and support each other. And through the skate club as well, there just happened to be lots of other women there. Maybe it's still surprising for people to see a woman on a skateboard and maybe a midlife woman learning in their 40s, 50s, 60s. But actually, those are people who want to do it. And if you start looking online and if you turn up at these events, I think we're all just so happy to see that there are other people like us. You know, we're really cheering each other on. And I'd say I'm in the early days of some new friendships, but I know they're really blossoming and we've got this shared connection. And it's a really beautiful space to be in, and it's pleasure to share the learning journey with each other.

SPEAKER_00 10:20

It sounds it. What would you say is the attraction of skateboarding for midlife women? I've been thinking about this.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

I see a meme sometimes that says something along the lines of, why do I love a sport that I really suck at? Because you could be a beginner, you know, everyone progresses differently at different speeds and everyone's got different goals, but you could be a beginner for many years, especially if you've got life commitments. You could be a beginner for two years or 10 years. I think there's the novelty fact that people don't expect midlife women to be on the board. But also when you're on the board, for me personally, I just feel so good afterwards, a bit like you do when you've been for a run or whatever kind of workout, you've got all those happy chemicals and things going on in your body. But for me, I've been so focused at staying on the board and not dying, not falling off, that it's a real mindfulness practice, actually. So I just forget about all of those worries, your work stress, your family stress, your money worries, whatever it is. So when you're on the board or when you're skateboarding, it's purely about you, it's purely about embracing activity and your body and being silly. And you don't have to be good at it to enjoy it. And no one's watching. Okay, we're watching each other, but nobody cares whether you're good at skateboarding or not. And you're not trying to be a good wife or mum or girlfriend, you're not trying to be a good colleague, and you're not trying to achieve something. So I think just that aspect of it's time for you to be fun and silly and to step out of all that expectation and just really experience that focus that just brings joy and happiness. So that's my guess at why lots of midlife women are taking it up and having the time in their lives.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

I think you've hit the nail on the head. I think that's so key actually, about just relinquishing the roles that we carry constantly and just having a space to not think about it, not have to address it or step into it. And you use the word silly a few times. Why silly? I find that really interesting.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

So my manager at work currently he keeps teasing me, saying that I'm going to be like a teenage boy and spitting and swearing and spray painting and things, which you know that's not a positive way to look at people or teenage boys or skaters. But you know, there's a silly aspect of it that we maybe associate skating with teenage boys who are having a joke and a laugh and they don't have those commitments. So there's that aspect of maybe doing something that people expect younger people to do when they really have time to embrace fun. There's also the fact that you do look silly sometimes quite a lot when you're on the skateboard. Not only is it not always the most glamorous sport, and we're all talking about how much we hate putting these knee pads on and the elbow pads and your wrist pads that you know, you've got to look after yourself. You can fall off and really hurt yourself, especially your head. Number one, wear a helmet if anyone's giving this a go. But you don't always look glamorous. It's not your finest hour all the time. When you fall off, you're gonna look silly and you're gonna try things. And in some people's eyes, you might look stupid trying to get over this teeny little hip, like a tiny little ramp that's about three inches off the ground, and you just can't do it, and it takes so much bravery. And other accomplished skaters might be looking at you thinking, what are they worrying about? Just get over that rap. So I think there's just a lot of ways you're doing stuff with your body that that people don't expect you to do, and maybe you didn't expect yourself to do, but yeah, just embracing the fun and just really not caring about what other people think, which I think as we get older, we often say is the joy, isn't it, of entering your forties and how do you just stop caring what everyone else thinks? So it's okay to look silly.

SPEAKER_00 13:54

Yeah, definitely. I love that. You've just kind of touched on it as well. There is that freeing aspect of it. Do you talk about how you're moving differently when you're skateboarding? Is it just something about making sure that you're putting in the hours and you're going back as often as you can, or are there other things that you do to improve your skateboarding technique and ability?

SPEAKER_01 14:13

So definitely getting support from other skateboarders is good in terms of if you can meet someone at the park, someone's depending on you, or there's going to be a friendly face there. But having a coach or a tutor is invaluable because they'll push you in a good way to do things you didn't think was possible. But also they've got the right advice about balance and where to put your feet. That even your skate friends who might have been doing it for five, 10 years or have also just started, they're just not as skilled telling you what to do as a coach. So those are really good ways to keep showing up and keep improving. But mostly it's just get on the board. The same with any hobby or new skill or something you want to master, whether it's a musical instrument or I don't know, cooking, whatever it is you're taking up, you've just got to put in the time. We don't all have time, especially at this stage in our life, and lots of other commitments. Somebody somewhere said that just doing five to ten minutes every single day is better than an hour a week. So I've been fortunate enough to take my skateboard to the office, which has lovely carpet. So sometimes when I'm boiling the kettle, I'll have a little skate up and down the office, which makes everyone smile. But at home, you can get a skateboard deck without the wheels and just practice balancing on it on the carpet. You can put your skateboard wheels on a carpet and just jump off and on it and practice balancing on it, standing on one leg, or you might have a little bit of pavement outside your house, or whatever you can do to get on the board, but really it's only got to be for a few minutes, a few times a day, or five minutes, three times a week. I think regular and small, it really builds your balance and strength in ways that you maybe can't imagine. And I'm not a medical expert, but I know that your brain is learning and remembering in a way through that frequent repetition. So little and often is good. If you can get to an actual skate park for a session once a week or once every two weeks, with those little five minutes here and there, I think that really makes a difference.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

Yeah, I bet. That's amazing. That's really good advice because I'm that person. If I would want to do a longer, not necessarily an hour, but you just want to spend more time and think that five, ten minutes wouldn't be enough.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

Yeah. I managed to go to the skate park for three hours last Sunday. And actually by the third hour, I was feeling so much more confident, really into it. So there 100% is really good value in just being able to go without a time limit. And especially with skating, all my beginner friends, we always get on the board and go, Oh, I feel really wobbly today. I don't know what I'm doing. And after about half an hour, you start to feel better. So for sure, the longer sessions, without a doubt, really are invaluable and really just get you to build your confidence. But when we don't have time, you know, the five minutes three to five times a week is is really valuable to you.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

Yeah. I'm really intrigued to know and understand what was the hardest manoeuvre that you had to overcome when you first started? Was it jumping on the board or getting the balance?

SPEAKER_01 17:07

I think the hardest thing was that first step. The first step, one foot on the board and the other one pushing, and the other foot eventually being on the board. So then you've got two feet on the board. And although I know since then I've done things that I never imagined I would be able to do, you know, like go up a ramp a little bit and then turn around on the skateboard, not using the correct language there for any skateboarders listening. But, you know, that was completely just unfathomable for me when I started. But actually, for me, those first steps, absolutely terrifying because I'm scared, I'm just scared of everything. And actually, I've realized that loads of other beginner skate skaters and skaters all the time are just scared. It's part of it, and you've got to do it while scared. But no, the scariest thing is just having wheels under the thing you're standing on that you don't feel you're in control of. It's really scary. You've really got to master that balance, but also trust your body that if you lose balance, you've only got to step off it. You're not necessarily going to have a huge crash and a huge accident every time. The thing with skateboarding and longboarding is it's all in the mind. Your body knows what to do. You can do everything that you do on a board, standing on the ground on your two feet, but chuck in a flank of wood and four wheels and it suddenly seems impossible. So you know you can do it, you've just got to get over it in your mind that it feels weird.

SPEAKER_00 18:32

So we're all capable of making those moves. Definitely. And you touched on it about overcoming the fear. I'd love to know a bit more about that because you said obviously for your first time doing the longball course, that was quite intimidating, quite scary. Was there anything in particular that you did or said to yourself to overcome that, or was it the case of showing up and getting the practice in? Because I know, again, speaking to a lot of women our age, that the mental aspect of starting anything, and as you said, the element of wills on top of it is not something to be ignored, really.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

Yeah, I didn't do anything particularly to overcome fear this time. And I wouldn't say I've overcome it, but my main goal and my main takeaway actually from that longboard camp was to experience joy alongside fear. So you're not going to stop being scared. I feel scared every time I go to the skate park. But I want to be able to have fun at the same time rather than it being the end of the world. And there's still other things for me like sailing or driving down a motorway or cycling downhill without the brakes on. There are things still that I just can't do because it's too scary. But this somehow seemed like something that I could do that was really scary, but I could also have fun at the same time. So I don't have any top tip other than just give it a go and you might surprise yourself. And if you'd said that to me five years ago, I wouldn't have believed you or liked that advice. But I tried it and somehow had fun while also being scared. And maybe actually there is something that your brain releases that after you've had a little bit of a fright but realised it was fun, then you feel even better. You feel amazing, you feel so happy. So yeah, I think it's pushing yourself a little bit beyond your limits that then brings extra joy afterwards.

SPEAKER_00 20:19

I agree. And going back a step, actually, if the thought of it was not intimidating, but a little bit fearful, what made you commit and book the camp?

SPEAKER_01 20:29

It was, as I said at the beginning of our chat, about seeing this incredible woman longboarding by the sea at sunset with these really graceful flowing moves. It'd be great if I could do that one day. But I just thought, wow, that just looks fantastic. It looks so fun. It's a beautiful thing to look at and a beautiful thing to experience. And I think that was maybe and is a motivating thought, you know, even if I just cruise along the seafront and still look like a beginner. But if the sun's shining, the sky's blue, and I'm by the sea and I'm cruising along on a skateboard, I mean, honestly, what more could you want on a beautiful sunny day? So yeah, I think it's just that that experience, maybe of feeling free and feeling light and being feeling able.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

Yeah, that combination sounds so powerful. So going back into the technical side, you were saying that when you were looking at buying your first board, what were the things that you were looking at? Because I think that would be really interesting to share for somebody thinking about it.

SPEAKER_01 21:29

Yeah, so skateboarders out there, forgive me for any errors I make, but there's a spectrum of sizes in terms of width of skateboards. They're generally about the same length, but if you have a little Google eight inches is kind of the standard for beginners. Having tried a few, I realized I wanted something a little bit wider. Thanks for the people at the skate park that helped me try different boards. I think that was the same thing with the long board, you know. I like more the bigger the board, the better, because for some reason I feel safer on it. But as I learn, I might find that actually it's harder to maneuver on. So you want to think about About the width of the board, what suits you and what you feel comfortable on. Other things I looked at were the wheels. So I now know that longboarding when you're cruising along the seafront, that's a lot easier on a longboard because they have wider, squashier wheels, basically. So if you hit a little stone or cracks in the pavement, you keep going. Whereas with the normal skateboard wheels, they're a little bit smaller and a little bit harder, which apparently is good for tricks and ramps. But if you hit a stone, you're gonna hit the deck pretty fast. I spent about eight hours just reading about wheels and watching YouTube videos. And even that was great fun. So it was like an added side to the hobby that I wasn't expecting. So yeah, you need the right wheels, the right size deck, some trucks, which are the bits that connect the wheels to the board. I can't give you any amount of advice on that other than just make sure you've got the right width for your board, and then you need your hardware, so the screws that connect it all together. It was just really fun looking into that. You can geek out on what you want and try to put all the parts together, but you can get really inexpensive setups. Also, don't forget your grip tape. That's the stuff that looks like felt roofing on the top of your skateboard that makes sure you stay on it. Most places, if you buy the deck on its own, they will add the grip tape for free. You can get really inexpensive complete setups for around 30, 40 pounds. Obviously, you can get them secondhand, or you can spend maybe 80 to 200 pounds putting it all together yourself if that's what you like. But part of skateboarding is art and aesthetics and there's a lot of fashion involved in skateboarding if you want there to be, but in street style, historically, that was all part of it. So the fun part of buying a skateboard is choosing what design you want on the bottom of your deck. And of course, there's lots of brands, there's loads of artists, a lot of the art's created by famous skaters, pro skaters. So that's just a really fun aspect as well, choosing the brand and choosing the design, what do you want to carry around with you? But obviously, you only get real street cred once your board's all scuffed up because you've done so many tricks. Yeah, mine's still quite shiny.

SPEAKER_00 24:01

For now, for now. So, what did you choose? Or did you go for something a bit more classic or something a bit more edgy?

SPEAKER_01 24:08

So I went for an ARBA, as in trees, A-R-B-O-R. That's the brand of deck that I went for. And now I can't remember my wheels, my board's not here, that's terrible. But I went for slightly harder ones for the skate park, but on the squishier side. So small skateboard wheels. So my ABA deck is mostly pink, which I've come to like pink as I get older. And I don't want to like it because it's typically girly, but yeah, I'm enjoying how pink looks. And it's got a little kind of shaggy, yeti kind of person on it. He's putting his thumb out to hitchhike because he's a day tripper. Yeah, and that design that was designed by a Ace Pelker, who's a pro skater, who's sponsored by Arbo. So yeah, it was a bit of fun looking into all of that. But the colours just make me happy. I like looking at it. So that's the thing, you know, you could have any old deck, someone could lend it to you, you can get one secondhand or whatever. But as a beginner, just because you're a beginner doesn't mean you can't have a board that you really love. And I think if you're gonna start something new with this object, why not really love it? So yeah, embrace it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:14

And that's the joy element, isn't it? It's about doing the thing that you love and finding joy in every little detail, I suppose.

SPEAKER_01 25:21

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

And I find it quite interesting that going off the topic a bit, but you mentioned that you're enjoying and liking pink a bit more. I'm exactly the same. I did not like pink growing up and was very anti-pink, but now wow, look at that. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, it's really interesting. I don't know if it's maybe changing taste as we get older, but for me, it's been a little bit almost shocking because at times I don't recognise myself and the things that I'm attracted to now.

SPEAKER_01 25:46

Yeah, and especially at the skate park, sometimes if I go in with a pinkish tone hoodie with a pink beanie carrying my pink board, I'm like, oh no, I look like one of those women that really loves pink and everything's all pink, and I'm trying to walk through these men and kind of be confident. But yeah, I just don't care. But no, I'm really attracted to pink, pink and green are the mix, which is also on my board. I don't know, perhaps it has something to do with nature, natural colours. Who knows? It's appealing. But yeah, there's loads of different shades and colours for everyone. So be colourful, I think. You know, be colourful in the active fun that you have as you get older. I think the women that we see that inspire us in all kinds of sports actually often are quite multicoloured in their equipment and their stuff, they're very stylish. And that's all part of the fun of expressing who you are as an active person.

SPEAKER_00 26:32

Yeah, definitely. And I think also as you get older, because that element of not hiding, or well, some people have never hidden, but I think personally speaking, I've come out and been more comfortable being seen over the last two, three years, which is a massive thing for me. And as you said, in so doing is the colour I used to wear black and navy and white, and now I'm wearing a whole load more colour.

SPEAKER_01 26:54

Yeah, yeah. Now I think that's good. Maybe that's just the magic shining through to the outside.

SPEAKER_00 26:59

Hopefully, I don't know. Maybe. On that topic of things being fluid and things coming out from changes inside, is there anything that you'd say internally that has changed as you've been doing skateboarding and longboarding? Have you seen a change in yourself in any way?

SPEAKER_01 27:17

Yeah, I think I somehow feel lighter and more fun. And I don't know if that's because everyone else that knows me thinks it's kind of amusing, but they're also cheering me on from the sidelines. But as I talked about experiencing joy alongside fear, it's been quite a theme in my life that I've not done things and not joined in with other people when they're doing something that's a little bit scary. And I just don't want to be that person because one, I don't want to miss out, and two, I don't want people to perceive me as not fun because I'm not trying the scary things. I can see that they're having such a great time when they're doing these scary things. I want that for myself too. So for this year, it's the year I've turned 40, and I want this year to be all about joy. I think you age, you realize, you know, life's short, and there are all kinds of things going on in the world, and we experience all kinds of things in our personal lives that are difficult and traumatic. And when you're experiencing and seeking joy, I think you're just the best person you can be for yourself and for others. When you feel joyful, other people feel the benefit of that, and they feed off that too. So I think I've really felt a surge of joy and of seeking joy and realizing that that's a good thing. It's not selfish. It's a good thing to share, to experience and promote and just having a joyful energy that everyone can feed off, everyone can benefit from. And maybe bring some more skateboarders into the world. And I know because one of my new skating friends is someone who messaged me and said, I've seen that you're skateboarding. Can you give me some advice as to how to get into it? And I was so honored to be asked that question and so excited to share with them all the things that I'd found that had really excited me and brought joy to my life. So you never know in what you're doing, who's watching, and who might also be thinking, I'd like to give that a go. So I do just want to say to everyone, give it a go. Lots of women that I've met at skate parks are mums who have been taking their kids and they've been thinking, Oh, I wish I could have a go. You know, and someone's just said to them, you can come on, you know, come on this night, come at this time. We're here, we're gonna cheer you on. So yeah, just get involved.

SPEAKER_00 29:22

And I have to say, even speaking to you and coming across you, it's now something I'm thinking of that it was never on my radar, and I would never have occurred to me to even consider it. And now I'm like, actually, I think I have a go. Because my son used to skateboard and watching him and his friends and all the tricks that they did, I did find really fascinating. And there was a bit of me like, Oh, I wish I could do that, but then you just don't think it's for you, yeah. But it's for everyone.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

Yeah. So are you London-based? Yeah, I am. Yeah. So if you're thinking of longboarding as opposed to skateboarding as well, there's a longboard girls crew. There are groups all over the world, but there's a particular group in London. So for anyone who's interested in longboarding in London, and there's also the skate hub, which is another indoor skate park with loads of great coaches and teachers. I hear lots of good things about it. So anyone listening in London or for yourself, those are some great places to get some tips and get involved.

SPEAKER_00 30:15

So you mentioned I might be able to borrow a board. That would be amazing. How does that work?

SPEAKER_01 30:20

Yeah, so a lot of these indoor skate parks or coach sessions, they have skateboards that you can borrow. So at Pitt Street, for example, there's roller skates, rollerblades, scooters, skateboards. They've got all the pads for your elbows, knees, wrist guards, and helmets. So yeah, it can be expensive, can't it, picking up all this equipment? But if you just want to give it a go, there are plenty of places that have got all this equipment that you can borrow. And it's normally really affordable, really low cost. Pop Kingdom in London, where I've been as well, they've got all the boards, all the gear that you can borrow. And I also think if you rock up at a skate park, there could be some really friendly women, some beginners, some friendly men, whoever, you know. But if you get chatting, someone's likely to say, Do you want to have a little go? So my friend Mike, who I've made at the skate park, he's always got two boards and he's always saying, Oh yeah, have a go on this one. Someone else is normally on his second board, and then he's like, Oh yeah, I've got the knee pads, I've got the wrist guards. So, and I often go with my longboard and what it's a pintail longboard and a skateboard to the skate park. We like to share because it's it's so fun to see everyone giving it a go and it's a way to encourage people and feel included.

SPEAKER_00 31:27

Yeah, that sounds amazing and makes it more attractive, not having to figure out got to get a board and might not like it.

SPEAKER_01 31:33

It's really accessible just to have a taster session or have a go.

SPEAKER_00 31:36

Brilliant. Thank you. I will definitely follow that up. So I want to ask you another question about your movement and skateboarding. Is there a particular trick or movement that you're trying to that you're trying to master?

SPEAKER_01 31:48

I feel like I've become a bit of a one-trick pony over the last few weeks because I'm trying to land first time a faky kick turn. So you've already gone up the ramp in your usual posture, and then you come back down the ramp, so you haven't turned round, so you're going backwards down the ramp, and then you need to spin the board around so you're facing forwards again, going in the right direction. So that's called a faky kick turn. That's my main thing. I can land it sometimes, and I'm really enjoying it. And every time I land it, I'm so surprised I stop skating. So I need to just keep skating. But what I'd really like to be able to do is just to pump on a half pipe to just go up and down a half pipe, backwards and forwards for hours and hours. I would be happy with Larry. So that's a goal. I just can't quite, because it's scary, I can't quite get the speed up enough to get going. So yeah, get a little bit faster is what I need to do. And something I'd like to ask my coaches about actually is also learning to fall well, because you will fall, everybody falls, and you can fall in certain ways that are more likely for you to be less injured. So yeah, I'd like to learn to fall better because in learning to fall, you can progress uh with more confidence and more safely. So yeah, falling, pumping, and kick turns.

SPEAKER_00 33:07

Okay. That's that sounds amazing. And even picturing you doing all of that looks really impressive. This has been lovely, Millise. Thank you so much for sharing everything with us. This I know will inspire women our age to get out and have a go, including myself. So before we finish, in a word or two, do tell us what movement means to you.

SPEAKER_01 33:26

Movement means fitness and joy. That means that we're healthy, we're getting the best out of our bodies, and we're creating longevity for it if we're fortunate enough to have long lives. The fitter you are, the more you can enjoy your body. But it's not all about fitness. It's all about joy, having a good time and just being a little ray of light for everyone else to feed off.

SPEAKER_00 33:50

Love that. Thank you so much, Millie. Thanks for your time. So, if anybody has any questions for you, where can we find out more about you and your skateboarding journey?

SPEAKER_01 33:59

I'm just Millie Manley on Instagram. So hopefully people can find that from the podcast links. But yeah, reach out, ask questions. I am more than happy to help. I'm not a pro, but I'm an experienced beginner and I'm really happy to cheer anyone on and share any tips. Or meet anyone if you want to come to the skate park. Just turning up at the skate park can be scary alone. So yeah, come meet me, come for a skate, you can borrow a board, and we'll have a good time. But yeah, find me on Instagram and I'll point you in the right direction of loads of people that can help and support you on your journey. And Annika, I'm really looking forward to seeing you on a board, so I can't wait to see you giving that a go. I will be there. I don't know if there will be photographing every day.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

Thank you so much, Millie. Thank you. And that right there is what happens when you say yes to the thing that scares you. Millie didn't start skateboarding because she was brave. She started because she saw something beautiful and thought, what if? She showed up terrified, she strapped on the knee pads, she walked into a male-dominated skate park with someone she trusted by her side, and she did it. So what can we take from Millie's story? That joy and fear are not opposites. They can and often do exist in exactly the same moment. Millie's greatest breakthrough wasn't a landing kick turn. It was learning that she didn't have to wait until the fear was gone before she was allowed to have fun. She chose joy while she was scared, and that changed everything. We learn that community is everything. You don't have to figure it out alone. There are women out there on boards, on Instagram, in old Sainsbury's converted into skate parks, who are waiting to cheer you on. All you have to do is show up. We learn that you're allowed to be a beginner for a week, for a year, for a decade. There is no timeline. There's no finish line. There's only the joy of doing. We also learned that small often beats big and never. Five minutes on a board in your kitchen counts. Five minutes matters. Showing up in the small ways is how we build the life we actually want to be living. And perhaps most powerfully of all, that it's not selfish to seek joy. When you're lit up, when you're alive with something that makes you feel free and silly and present, everyone around you feels it too. Joy is not something you keep to yourself, it radiates. Millie said she wants this year, the year that she turned 40, to be all about joy. And I think that's a goal that's worth stealing, whatever age you are. So here's your thing for this week. Notice where fear might be standing between you and something joyful. It doesn't have to be a skateboard, it doesn't have to be dramatic. It could be tiny. A class you haven't booked, an invitation you haven't accepted, a thing you've told yourself isn't for you. Just notice it. And then ask yourself, what would it feel like to choose joy anyway? Because if Millie has taught us anything, it's this. The fear doesn't have to leave before the joy gets to arrive. The joy doesn't wait for the fear to leave. It shows up anyway. And when it does, I want to hear about it. Share this episode with someone who needs a nudge to say yes to something scary and joyful. Follow us on Instagram and tag us at unshrinkable midlife moves, because your story might be exactly the spark someone else needs to finally get on the board. See you next time.