Couch To 50 Miles - Falls, Storms and Ultra Running With Lornette Valentine

"Sometimes I can't even run to the start line, now 50 miles is normal."

What happens when a woman who once preferred sitting indoors in the dark becomes someone who runs through storms, mud, and 15-hour races—sometimes barely able to see?

In this raw and unexpectedly funny episode, Lornette Valentine shares how a post lockdown moment, a treadmill fall, and a quiet decision to try something new sparked a complete identity shift in midlife.

Fast forward just a few years and she’s calling herself an ultra runner after completing 50Ks, 30-milers, and a brutal 50-mile coastal race in the middle of a storm where she went partially blind, was knee deep in mud, nearly slipped off a cliff and still finished.

This isn’t about being fearless. It’s about just getting to the next aid station.

Inside this episode, we talk about:

•  The real mindset of endurance,the power of the next aid station
•  Why even ultra runners start races thinking, “how am I going to do this?”
•  The power of music, community, and messing around in the woods with your mates
•  How Lornette went from I don’t even like running to not being able to imagine life without it 
•  Training lessons, doing less, trusting the process, and getting stronger in midlife 
•  The identity shift that impacts everything from family life to confidence to what feels possible 

Lornette’s story is proof that you don’t need to feel ready, confident, or even capable to begin, because five years ago, this wasn’t her life.

And now?  She’s the woman who signs up for races without even knowing the route.

If you’ve ever thought, I could never run 50 miles, this episode might just change your mind.

Find out more about Lornette at @lornette_valentine

Find out more about Lornette's restuarant, Maison @maisonfarnham

Follow the podcast on Instagram:  @unshrinkablemidlfemoves

Find out more about Onika on Instagram: @lifeopenedup

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:09

She ran fifty miles in a store, half blind, and nearly fell off a cliff. That's not where her story starts though. It starts five years ago on a treadmill with a fall. And a woman sitting on the gym floor dripping with blood, thinking, please God, don't let anyone post this on TikTok. Lornette Valentine did not feel like someone who would become an ultra runner. But somewhere between a lockdown walk that left her breathless, a blood transfusion that she didn't see coming, and a 5K that lit something up inside her, she became one anyway. Now she runs through storm-battered coastlines in January, navigates cliff edges in the dark with mud up to her knees, and crosses finish lines of races that most people wouldn't dare enter. All while co-running a Michelin listed restaurant for her home until 2 a.m. What drives a person like this? What does she say to herself when her body starts to stop? And what happens to a family when an ordinary woman quietly becomes extraordinary? This is Lornette Valentine, and this conversation might just change the way you think about what you're capable of. I'm Anika Griffith Edit, and this is Unshrinkable Midlife Moves. Hi Lornette, it's lovely to meet you today.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

How are you? I'm very well, thank you. And thanks for having me on. Yeah. I very feel very grateful and blessed that you've invited me.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Before we get started, tell us a bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

So I'm 50, I'm 51 this year. I started running five years ago now, actually, because a post came up on my Facebook, which reminded me because I fell on the treadmill, just like you see on a TikTok type thing. And my first thought when I fell, I sat there and I was like, oh my god, this is gonna shed on YouTube. This is gonna be shared on TikTok. As people just carried on looking around me and just looking at me as I was dripping with blood. But yeah, it was just it was after the lockdown I started running really. And when the gyms opened back up, me and my husband owned a restaurant, and it was a true break. You know, the first lockdown it was just sunny, it was a real true break. And we'd go out walking, and he'd say to me, Are you tired? and I'd be like, No, and it's because I was a little bit out of breath, but I was like, No, no, I'll go to the gym, mate. I'm not tired. Anyway, it turns out I had low iron, and so I had to have an iron and blood transfusion. And then when I went back on the treadmill, I was like, Oh, okay, this is how I'm supposed to feel. So then I ran 5k because I was doing couch with 5k, so I've always done some form of sport, whether it's going to the gym and I was a sprinter, I wasn't a long distance runner at all. So this is all very new, but I'm also like, okay, what can I do now? What can I do now? A bit like imposter syndrome. I'm always like adding to my skill set. So it's a jack of all trades, but master at nothing. I could do a whole lot of different stuff, okay-ish, and I can mumble through, but I'm not amazing at anything. And then fast forward to today, I did 50 miles for my 50th birthday, so to speak, because I'm like, oh, if that person can do it, I can do it. And it's easy to sign up for stuff when you just sit in there, isn't it? When the sun's shining. I'm like, okay, did the park run, did it in 23 minutes and 57 seconds to be exact. I was like, Oh, that's good. That's really good. The endorphins kicked in. I was like, oh my god, you know, and it's Alice Holt, so it's a bit of a hilly one. People say it's hilly, but it's speed bumps in comparison to what I run. So I signed up to that endorphins kicking, as you know, signed up for a 30 miler. Oh my god. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

I don't know about endorphins kicking in and signing up to 30 miles, maybe for a race, a high rox race.

SPEAKER_01 3:41

Not quite comparable, but I'll take your word for it. But then high rox, that's your thing, because high rocks isn't easy, is it? That's not easy. I couldn't do that yet. I couldn't go and do a high rox tomorrow, for example, because I don't have the body strength to do it. I can't hold my own body. But if I needed to run a marathon tomorrow, then I could do that. It would be hard because I'm not marathon trained at the moment, but I could do it. Oh, I'm just gonna have to say I said my mum and dad, I said, Oh, yeah, I've signed up for a cheeky 30 miler. Because 30 miles compared to 50 miles is half the business.

SPEAKER_00 4:11

I can do that.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

I can do that.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

That's amazing. So actually, I think we need to give some context because I didn't actually say that you were a runner. Can we describe you as an ultrarunner? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Yeah. So describe that for people who don't necessarily know what ultrarunning is.

SPEAKER_01 4:27

So ultra running is anything, I think is anything over 30 miles or 50k if you do kilometres. So I have done a couple of 50k's, 30 milers. I think when you've hit that, that's when you're an ultra runner. And it's four miles over a marathon. So if you've done a marathon, you can do an ultra. That's my thought. It's only four miles more. Not thinking those last four miles could literally take you an hour because you're dead. And if it's uphill or just your body is dead, you know, you have to push through it. And I did my first ultra, it was a run, and so I thought it was a race because I hadn't looked at what it was, but it was just a guided run. And I did that, and it was cold and it was wet, and I couldn't move. And I sat in my car and I went onto Instagram and I put ultra runner. I changed my ultrarunner. You've got to claim that after that, definitely. No, literally, I I couldn't even move, I couldn't take my socks off, but I was able to put ultra runner. Um I've done a couple of 50ks now, and I've obviously done the 50 miler, so I'm I do now class myself as an ultra runner.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

Tell us a bit about the mindset because again, I did a half marathon earlier this year, and it I got dragged in a little bit as you described. I did a training run with my cousin, and I think we did 17k. He was like, Oh, you're almost there for a half marathon. And I'm like, Okay, fine, thinking he's probably right. But on the day, like you said, that last bit, it was a lot for me.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

For me, I think with some people, it depends on you're either really strong at the beginning or really strong at the end, and I'm really strong at the end. The first part of it, I'm like, yeah, because the endorphins and being around everyone, the buzz and everything. And then at the end is when I can smell the finish line, I can smell my medal, my car is just there. That's all I'm thinking about. And I go out running with my brother, and he's like, Oh, this bit's really nice. We're getting to the best bit now. I was like, mate, we're getting to the best bit when I get to my car. So I'm like, Do I even like running? I was just going to ask you that. I don't know. I don't know. I love the feeling, I love the way it makes me feel. I love hanging out with my friends, and my husband always says to people, she just pisses around in the woods with her mates. That's what he said, that's how he describes it. But the mindset when I'm running is I've got to get through this, like Daniel Beddingfield's song. I love listening to my music, and I could listen to the same song throughout the whole run. If it's a song I really like, I could listen to that song all the way through.

SPEAKER_00 6:52

I can't get my head around that.

SPEAKER_01 6:54

Yeah, music really gets me through. But if it's the song I really like, I'm like, oh yeah, I could just keep listening to that, and it will just give me the strength to get through. So you would normally run with music then when you do this? Yeah, I do. And unless I'm running with a friend, and even then, when it gets to certain parts of the race, I will then have my music really low just to hear it a little bit. Like if you're going uphill to get up the hill, listen to music will get me through it. And I listen to all sorts, it doesn't have to be one particular genre. I like to listen to instrumental, popular songs, because then I'd be thinking about work and stuff like that. That helps me as well. And just anything, a little bit of 80s rock, RB, hip hop, it could be Tupac, then Mariah Carey, then Whitney, like literally any song that I like that's going on, because that will get me through. So, do you have a specific set of playlists that you have ready to go? It's called a half marathon playlist, but it's got literally about 30 hours on it now. Because I just keep adding to it because they're all the songs like, and that I have like I'm like, oh yeah, I'll be running in. I'm like, oh tune. I forgot I've got this one on there. So and I just put it on random and just listen to it.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

So would you say that when you run with your music or even without it, it does become a little bit meditative for you?

SPEAKER_01 8:03

Even getting out to run three miles, although I can run, it's still hard. Every run I think is hard. So that's why I would say to people, you can do it, anyone can do it. Because even for me, who I can run 50 miles, I could start off a race and I can't even run to the start line. And I'm like, God, how am I gonna do this? I can't run to the start line, and I'm like, oh good God, why have I signed up for this? But then you're doing it and it's everyone around you, and then I just aim for okay, that person in the red top, I'm gonna get there. I'm just gonna slowly get there, and I'm gonna get to that person, and I'm gonna get to the next person, and then you get a little bit of energy, and I make sure I try to fuel correctly because then once you have that little bit of fuel, it gives you the energy to get through. What do you do for fueling? I take position hydration, I'll use gels and chews, but I also have to have normal food. In the mornings, I will have sweet potato, baked beans, and cheese, and then a little bit before I'll have rice crispies because rice crispies are also really good. And so I've tried different stuff that I know helps me. I'm gluten intolerant and I can't have nuts, and I don't eat chocolate. And so a lot of stuff like protein stuff will have chocolate and nuts, and I can't have that. Some gluten I can have, so I have to find other stuff that will work for me. But then I've gone out running before. My brother's like, Why have you got all that stuff on you? He's like, Oh my god. I call it the tuck shop because if I get lost, because I do get lost, I've got a big watch that makes me look like MacGyver, but I will still get lost. I've got enough food to feed the 5,000. So you carry it on a waistbelt? Yeah, I'll have it in the waistbelt and I've got a backpack.

SPEAKER_00 9:37

See, that just sounds interesting because I don't know, extra weight. Yeah, I guess as you get further and you eat everything, it gets lighter and you're speeding up.

SPEAKER_01 9:45

Yeah, but then when you're running, for example, I did the Arc of Attrition. What's that? The Arc of Atrition is a coastal race which is on the south coast that's starting in in Cornwall, coastal path, and you've got four distances. So you've got the hundred miler, the 50 miler, 25, which they introduced last year, and this year they introduced the 12.5, so which I think is round about a half marathon. And it's done in January when the weather's at its worst, and people who are a part of this running cult that we're a part of will do it. And this is my t-shirt from when I did it last year, but then this year I went back and did the 50 mile. So last year I did the marathon, it's just under a marathon, and this year I did the 50 mile. Wow. And it was hellish. Well, maybe that's why it's called the Ark of Attrition. I guess that's it. Because it's a 50% completion, right? This year there was storming grid. I went windblind in my right eye, so I couldn't see. I kept falling over, and I was running with a friend, I trained with a friend all the way through, but we had a pack that we would run it together because it's 50 miles. He'd done it before, so he obviously wanted to beat his time last time. But it was like, we'll run together. But if one person is stronger than the other, then we need to just go on because we're doing our own race. About 10 miles in, that's what happened to me. I kept falling over. My mate Rob was really strong. I was like, you need to go. I didn't tell him that I couldn't see at that point. So obviously I wasn't completely blind, but the vision was just not there. If you think of a clock, 12 o'clock, four o'clock, and eight o'clock. That's the only sight I could see out of that eye. Just a little tiny bit, and it was muddy and it was just a nightmare. So I was going to him, oh, you need to go. And he's like, No, I'm not gonna leave you. I said, No, no, just go, just go, I'll catch you up. And yeah, I came in about two hours after him. At point, I was just yeah, I just need to do my own thing, just put my music on, got my poles out, and just soldier through.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

But that must have been really frightening. You you've talked very flippantly about being windblind, like it's the norm, but that must have been frightening. Was that the first time? Yes, it was, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:49

But I was quite at peace with not completing. I was like, you know what? At this point, I'm happy to DNF. The conditions were horrendous, and I'm not a quitter, and you know what? I didn't think of it as 50 miles, I was thinking it as okay, six miles, I know I can do six miles. I could do six miles every day if I needed to. I know I can do that. So it's six miles to the next aid station, it's four miles to the next aid station. So I was just doing it like that. But when I got to I think it was St Ives, I started from St Ives last year, that took me six hours, and I thought I only had three hours, I was like, I know I'm not gonna make it, and then I realised I'd got my timings wrong, and I was like, okay, I'm back in the game, and that was it. My mindset changed completely. And although my eye was irritable, like say if you get a fly in your eye, it was like that, and I was running for 15 hours. So from early on, I was doing probably about 12 hours feeling like there's something in my eye, and then obviously it was getting dark and it was raining and it was windy, and the mud was up to my knees, and I kept falling over, and it was a nightmare. The feeling after, honestly, you should see me. I was walking around like flay de fley with my medal the next day, and I mean my mate Rob, we were like, Yeah, 50 miles, whilst you were watching Britain's Got Talent. We were running 50 miles.

SPEAKER_00 13:01

But when you're talking about being up to your knees in mud, yeah, that's not what I was picturing for a race. I know it's outdoors, but that was almost like an obstacle race.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

Yeah, it did feel like that. It's almost like how much of this run am I actually running? Because so much of it wasn't runnable, and it's weird because you never know what the weather's gonna be like. So much of it wasn't runnable, and you're climbing rocks, and I nearly fell off a cliff at one point. It was ridiculous. But I'm like, oh okay, am I going back next year? Are we going back next year? It's mad.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

I don't understand how you just dropped that in the conversation. I almost fell off a cliff. So tell us about that. What happened? What was this situation?

SPEAKER_01 13:39

The elevation isn't constant elevation, it's really sharp. So you're walking up steps and you're going down. So the going up is scary, but the doubt going down is just as scary. And I slipped, and I was just like, God, and then you've got people coming behind you who are fast runners and they're coming up really close to you. So you're like, just go, just go, just go. And then as they're going, you're moving out of the way, and then you just nearly fell off the edge. But wasn't there a barrier or something? Yeah, there is, but you can still fall. It's not like a wall barrier, you could fall. I could have just rolled off the edge. So it's a bit like if you go to box hill, if you're running, you can fall down.

SPEAKER_00 14:13

Again, this is blowing my mind. I can't quite fathom the way that you're just like, oh, I did 50 miles, and all of these things happen. So they sound like really eventful races experiences. Is this the norm or is it just that particular one because of the nature of the route?

SPEAKER_01 14:28

I think that that particular one for me, but there are so many races. If you follow other runners, you'll see that some of the stuff people are doing. Like my brother is going to Cascade Mountains, he's doing Bigfoot 200, but it's actually 208 miles. An extra eight miles is a lot. And he's got to carry bear spray and he's gonna be in the mountains. And so we sign up to this stuff. I don't know why. It's crazy. But you do, because then you see other people doing it, you're like, oh my god, how are we gonna do that? That's what I do, and I say my alter ego is Bobby Big Bullocks because I can sit there and I can't even tell you. I mean, I'm doing a race in July. I can't tell you anything about the race, not one single thing, because I sign up for stuff, I don't know anything about it. I know it's 50k and it starts Queen Elizabeth Park and it's on the South Downsway. I don't know anything else. I don't know what time I start. I think it's nine o'clock. I don't know anything about the route. I just sign up for it. I just see a pretty picture of people running in the woods.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

I'm not looks nice. I think from what you're saying, and I'm sure the listeners might agree, but I think a lot of it is character as well. You obviously have a very strong sense of adventure and curiosity. Is that something that you've had all your life, or has it been developed more over the years with the running?

SPEAKER_01 15:43

I've always been a person that I'm glass half full, and if I see someone can do something, I'm like, okay, well, I can do that. I've changed my career. So we've got the restaurant now, but I've not always been in the restaurant industry, I've not always been in hospitality. I have evolved. I was a PA when I met my husband, and then I became a teacher when we had our second daughter because I've got two kids as the woman and the mum, it's always our career that has to change, but I've always been really striving for more. I always want to better myself. I love learning new things, so I changed my career. I became a teacher in a college, and when you've done that once, you're like, okay, I became a teacher. It's like, okay, I can do anything. And then we got the restaurant, didn't know anything about working in a restaurant, so I I had to be taught. I got someone in to train me up. Okay, I've changed my career again. I found doing graphic design, I'm gonna be a designer. And then I worked as a designer for seven years. So when you do that, it's like I can do this. So I can look at something and I can be like, Well, I can do that. I love that, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

Oh, but that that says it all because actually, to change careers so many times over the years takes a lot of courage, takes curiosity again, takes a sense of because you know how many people will be in a job for years, need to leave, but they can't for whatever reason. What you have just described multiple times is reflective of who you are, and you'll get up and go and get it done, and that is reflected in your approach to your running, you know.

SPEAKER_01 17:08

It is, and it's funny because I I want to learn to sew now, so I've got a sewing machine, and someone gifted it to me, and I was like, I just want someone to teach me how to sew. And then it's funny, some lady came to the restaurant, she's like, I can teach you. I was like, great. And she's like, Well, have you got any experience? And I went, No, but when I was born, I didn't have experience with walking, and look at me now. I was like running marathons, do you know what I mean? So I can do this, and it is very much well, I can do that, I can do that. And then I've got my brother hyping me up, and he'll be like, Okay, so the next thing you'll need to do is that. And I'm like, Do you really think I can do that? Okay, and then whilst I'm sitting here not doing it, I'm like, okay, yeah, I can. And then I dream about it, and I'm like, okay, I can do this, I can do that. Visualization. But yeah, yeah, I'm manifesting it. And and then that's the thing, is my brother said to me during the arc, he he kept phoned me up the next day and he's just like, Okay, so just talk me through it. What was your mindset? When I was like, just push through. Because that's what he always says, just push through, just push through. I was like, just get to the next aid station, just do this. And I had him and my husband, Ben, and my friend, Rob's wife, Liz. They were just like, Come on, you can do this, you can get through, because you can have any assistance, but obviously you can have people cheering you on their you just got to get through to this next aid station, and then that's my mindset, just get to the next thing rather than looking at the whole, it's always little steps. All I need to do is just get to that next bit. I don't need to think about the bigger picture, although the bigger picture is what I'm aiming for, but it's just the little steps to get there.

SPEAKER_00 18:26

Yeah, that's how it's that's actually the skill in itself, being able to break down the bigger picture because people know you have a goal, you break it down, but it's actually doing it in a way that works for you that enables you to get to the end point as you wish. Because then lots of people will find they start and for whatever reason they stop or it becomes too much. How do you break down your training? How do you train on a weekly basis for those races?

SPEAKER_01 18:53

I had to get Adam to train me because for the arc, I went on to chat GPT first, and then all of a sudden AI wasn't working for me. I needed a person because I was trying to do everything. I wanted to do arms, I was trying to get my stomach ready for summer, I was trying to do everything, and I had to get Adam to break it down for me. So he cut down my running by about 50%, and I was having anxiety because I was like, I'm not running enough. Because if you said to me, Do you want to run tomorrow? As knackered as I am, I'm like, oh my god, yeah, I want to run with you because we can catch up, we can have a laugh. And so I was running pretty much every day. And that sometimes I go to bed sometimes at 2:30 in the morning. And then I was getting up at 6:37 to run with my friends at 7.30. And I was tired, but I was getting it done, and I was keeping up, but I was tired. And I always used to say, God, imagine if I was getting the same seat with everybody else, but I didn't want to miss out. I'm not usually a person that suffers from FOMO, but with running, I'm like, look, you guys all going out, and the sun's shining, you're all having a laugh, and I'm not there. I know that once I get up, I'm gonna be gutted that I didn't go out with everyone because I don't always have the discipline to go out on my own because I sometimes find it a little bit boring. So he got me into doing bike sessions and doing speed sessions. So I do a session every week, whether it's a speed session, hill reps, and speed on hills and doing an easy run, and so all of that I've learnt to do. So each week I do a session of some sort, and all of that is making me faster. And he kept saying to me, trust the process, and I was just like, I'm not doing enough elevation, I'm not doing enough this, I'm not doing that. And then I I think even for the arc, I didn't appreciate it as much. But after I was like, Oh, I now feel really, really strong. So every week I do a session of some sort, and the sessions are hard, but then when I go on the run, the run is easier. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

SPEAKER_00 20:41

Yeah, I have my weekly track session on a Monday night usually, yeah, and it varies, but I feel so slow in them. I feel like I'm not doing anything. But the paces they vary sometimes, it is a faster week or a slower, but then it doesn't feel like it will translate for a race, and then it does, and it's like, ah it's funny because I did since the arc I've done a race, I did the Leith Hill half, and it was funny because I was doing it, and people saying it was so hilly, and I was like, was it?

SPEAKER_01 21:07

I mean, yeah, it was hilly, but I was like, well, compared to the arc, it wasn't. And because I've been doing the hill reps, I'm like, oh okay, this is a little bit easier. And I'm going to Box Hill every other week, and I'm doing a run that my brother gave me. So I think it's a route that loads of people do, but I know he added in extra heels because that man is possessed. So now me and my friend Rob went up a hill and we got up there and we were like, was it? I mean it was bad, but I'm not fighting for my life. But it's one of those races or one of those runs that when you sit there, we start it, and my heart rate is saying, put your affairs in order. Say goodbye to your family, tell everyone you love them. But then when we did it the other day, I was like, okay, this wasn't as bad. I can still breathe. My heart rate is still like you're dying, but the light is a little bit further away. type thing. So you talk about your brother a lot. Tell me about that relationship. He obviously inspires you. He does. There's a three year difference. We close, we have a laugh, but he is an ultra ultra runner. I look up to him in the running world and it's the only time really he says I shut my mouth because when he takes me out on the trails I have to listen to him. But it's funny because he's he used to run and he used to always talk about running and I have to confess all right Lisa. And then we'd be like Are we going to London? He's like oh I'm going to run there. It's like I'm okay then and all of the stuff he used to say I've just been like okay and now I've turned into that person even to the point that when he calls me he's just like man do we have to talk about running I just want to talk to see how my sister is and after the arc he was buzzing. He was absolutely buzzing. He's just like I can't believe this because he knows that I don't know if you can see I've opened the blinds purely because I'm on this call with you. Because otherwise I'll be sitting in the dark and so him and my husband are truly like oh my god what's happened to you because I will quite happily sit in the dark me going out in the woods is not something that I would have been doing five years ago. So this is like a massive thing and so it'll say to me I remember you just sit in your house in the dark and I'm like oh I still do that I still happily do that.

SPEAKER_00 23:11

But I'm now running the trails and that journey is what is so remarkable because it's something that when you look back at it five years ago ten years ago there was no hint of it right no and then suddenly you saw that thing on Instagram and you said okay I'm going to give it a go again I think is like a massive achievement massive yes but it's such an identity change isn't it yeah my husband is always like where's my wife because he is a very much an outdoorsy person.

SPEAKER_01 23:41

He was born in the Ivory Coast grew up in the south of France so everything about his life was the outside we go on holiday as a family I'd always been when are we going shopping? I wanted to stay where there were shopping centres because I wanted to go and buy new clothes. Now when we go on holiday it's always about the food first so where can we find somewhere to eat and where are their trails so he's not a runner but he will hike and he's good at hiking. So okay let's go somewhere where we can hike so if I'm training I will go out for a three mile run or something like that and then we will go for a long hike together. So he's always I can't believe that this is my wife now because five years ago I started running five years ago but at first it wasn't outside it was on the treadmill and it was our daughter Shantae our eldest she was doing couch to 5k and I was thinking well if she can do it I can do it. Because she's she's got asthma and then I started running and then the girls would be like oh god mum we're so sick of this whole running thing and then Naya our youngest she started running so she started running two years ago and she's a good runner but fell over stopped running that was it and then got into trail running and she's run 50k a couple of times but she can get up and go oh yeah I'm gonna run a marathon today and she'll just go on her own and just run and she's just very consistent and then Shantae now's building up her running but she's like you she'll do the high rocks and the Spartans and stuff like that. And my husband Ben he's got no desire to run but he can run 5k and he plays football and tennis and everything. So as a family we're all doing a little bit of running just to different levels.

SPEAKER_00 25:16

And that's the thing because I think in a way our experiences were very similar because I've exercised over the years but it was class based exercise group based exercise like you I was not doing anything outside. If it rained if it was cold you wouldn't even see me outside so now where I'm training outside throughout the year I don't recognise myself. I think is really interesting that you touched on and is again very similar to my experience you don't have to answer this but I'm intrigued to know how did your husband deal with that because I I know that he doesn't recognize me got used to it now but during the change as I call it yeah my starting to train and ramping up my training going from once or twice a week to running outside to training five days a week and doing track sessions he found it very interesting because it was such a 180 from everything he's known for decades shall we say a long time was he quite curious was he supportive was he just kind of standing back and looking at it as you mentioned the reaction from the girls because my kids had always said mum you're not the athlete with because all three of them used to do track work and I was the one who was at home I'm good I like reading I exercise but I'm indoors yeah and they were like Mum you're not an athlete look at me now yeah look at me now yeah exactly Ben is like literally he's my biggest supporter biggest cheerleader and if there's a race and we're working it's just we'll take time off.

SPEAKER_01 26:39

No we'll close and he will literally be what you need to eat he's a master chef and he will make sure that I'm eating he will cook me whatever I want I mean he'll turn his nose up and I'm like oh can I have truffle mash he's like athletes don't eat truffle mash I'm like shut your mouth this athlete does but he's there he'll take me to all my races he'll carry my bags but he's still oh my god who are you and on the chef's table he'll be telling everyone oh yeah she she only started running five years ago she only started doing this and she and she does this and she does that I don't need to tell anyone anything he's literally my biggest cheerleader the girls now oh yeah my mum does this my mum does that especially Naya because I run with her so she knows what it's like but Naya was probably the worst she was just like oh god who even I oh god I'm sick of this whole running stuff and because you sit there and as soon as you can run a distance anything you do I could run there I could you know if you can if you're doing high rocks and you've got to do strength oh I could pick that up in it's very much like you've seen the all the marathon reels now where people are going I can't do this because I'm running the marathon that's me oh my god that's me but I'm just oh I could run that I could do this I could do that and they was like oh my god oh mum now they're like oh god yeah yes mum yes mum biggest yeah they are but Ben in particular is very much like oh my god I can't believe it and we go on holiday to France and we see his French family and he'll just be telling them all and they all just think I'm amazing because they don't do what I do so I'm just like oh yeah I'm running 50k I'm running 80k so they think it's amazing well it is it's phenomenal and the fact that you train and run with your daughter is that must be really nice as well. It is yeah it is we have a really really good laugh and we become really close. I think when you run with people all the time as well don't you you become really close you talk about everything because there's a big group of us that we go out so it's just a crack where it's it's a safe space everyone takes the mic out of everyone.

SPEAKER_00 28:35

I think you're so right there about when you're running you end up talking about things because that's what I found as our group started or even you know when we were quite a small group we were a bit bigger but even so we're running at different speeds so people will congregate together and just listening to some of the conversations some of the conversations I've had I'm really quite sure that some of the things we talk about we wouldn't talk about if we were sat down at a table.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

It's really interesting dynamic I find and someone said to me is because you're not looking at the person in the eye you're running next that's why because you're not looking at them you're just running and side by side Rob and I we run and we talk about so much and you forget about the run and tomorrow his wife's coming as well and I haven't seen her for ages so it's gonna be like an hour of just rubbish and we just talk about everything. So you just become really close to people really quickly.

SPEAKER_00 29:24

I find it really fascinating especially when watching from the outside when you see new people join the group and who they end up patting with and building bonds with and everybody was to complete strangers two weeks ago three weeks ago and I find it so beautiful and that is what makes me come alive and love it all.

SPEAKER_01 29:39

And the thing is as well what I love about it is you're chatting to people that you possibly wouldn't gravitate to in the normal world but then they turn out to be the people that actually these are the sort of people I want to be surrounded by especially because I like to run with people who are faster than me. I like to surround myself with people who are better than me who know more than me who are older than me because it makes me a better person and we've tried to teach our daughters that as well so Niall she don't care who she runs with she runs with people older than her younger than her or it's very rare because she's 22 that people are younger than her but she's quite happy to run with older people and in as you know in the running world and the fitness world people are as young as 20 but they're also as older 60 70 do you know what I mean and sometimes the people in their 70s are faster you know I run against people who are older than me and they are faster than me. As much as I'm running I'm thinking I don't want them to beat me. I'm they're fast strong.

SPEAKER_00 30:35

Yeah and I have in my head I want to grow up and be like them because there's still that aspiration which I think is great for modeling as well because it gives so many more people the hope that as you get older it's not about slowing down. It's not about disappearing but sometimes these people are hard to find. So when you find them when I did the half marathon towards the end when I was really struggling there was an older guy who was running with a younger guy. I don't know if it was somebody from his club or if it was a family member they were running together and the younger person was really encouraging him. So I was there just trying to keep up with him. I was hanging on I was hanging on after about a K the guy went and I was like I can't and no matter what I did he just I don't know turned up again. It was inspiring it was like yes I don't know how old he was mid 70s I guess but he was amazing. So I'm really interested to find out a bit more about how you manage the running as you said with running your restaurant as you said you've got really late nights how do you find the time and energy for that does the running help running the business or vice versa?

SPEAKER_01 31:37

It does because I have to entertain I have to host my recovery is quick. I remember when I did my first 10k I couldn't move for weeks and I did my first half marathon couldn't move for weeks. I can do a half marathon before work and after work and be absolutely fine. I can do a marathon not before work because I do need the sleep but I can do a marathon and then be absolutely fine the next day we've got a small restaurant in our home we host a dinner party in our home four nights a week and my husband Ben is the chef he will just put whatever he wants on the menu it's eight courses and he will cook whatever he wants to cook. We're hyper seasonal but we don't have any stuff so it's just him in the kitchen. He will decide what he wants to do and then I look after the front of house I know how long it takes me to set up once I've set up the rest of the day's free I can do whatever I want. So I come from a corporate background so I'll write down everything and I think that's why I can get through racing because I'm like oh yeah it's gonna take me this long to get there. That's how my mind works in time. As long as I'm home by four o'clock I know that I've got two hours to set up and I'm absolutely fine.

SPEAKER_00 32:43

You just touched on something again that has me quite intrigued. You say that you don't necessarily need much recovery time and that again blows my mind because as we get older I don't know about you but when I started training and increased my training I definitely needed more recovery and I still do to an extent so what do you do and how have you got there to not needing as much recovery at the end or is that just you training your body I do need it.

SPEAKER_01 33:07

I just recover quickly I recover quick because if you think you know if you've hurt yourself you're limping but if you've got people watching you you're not gonna limp you're just gonna walk our house has got stairs as well I'm up and down those stairs so I have to I do about 12000 steps every day minimum so I'm walking constantly so I don't have any waiters or waitresses to lean on. I've got to move my butt and I think as I'm walking fast the pain's gone do you know what I mean you don't feel it you so after I did the arc I was back at work on Wednesday but I didn't go out running I gave myself the time off from running but I took two weeks off from running I know that I would have been fine to go back my brother was like don't don't because you're gonna break yourself up and because usually I would have gone out and done even a three mile run the next day but I just went out and did a walk. Yeah and then I didn't do any running for two weeks but I was working and then when I got back I was strong I felt strong yeah and as you said it's a different kind of recovery because you're still active as you were working yeah I was still constantly moving because if I stop moving then your body hurts and don't get me wrong if I sit down and I'm doing stuff like I'm going to Box Hill on Sunday and I was there two weeks ago and a couple of days after I think it was the next day I was like wow I'm aware I've got legs I was like yeah okay I'm aware I've got knees so it's okay I need to stretch I need to go for a massage because I can feel the tightness but because I'm constantly moving then all of a sudden I'm stretching it out because I'm moving our guests come from 6 30 we don't go to bed till two so I'm on my feet and I'm moving.

SPEAKER_00 34:42

So as we start wrapping things up thank you so much for your time I want to ask you the question the infamous question so in a word or two what does movement mean to you just keep on doing it if I'm explaining myself properly just doing anything every little bit helps.

SPEAKER_01 35:00

I think it's very very important to just do the tiniest amount because if you do nothing then you end up being stiff like my Nan for example is in a home and she just stopped moving so now she can't move so my thing is every little bit helps. I think that's the most important thing. And anyone can move you can go from nothing to running 50 miles.

SPEAKER_00 35:25

Yeah you have shown that as testament and it's so inspiring. So thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01 35:30

But before we go where can we find out more about you and the restaurant our restaurant is in Recklesham in Farnham it's called Maison because it's our home it's 15th century house we're in the Michelin guide we got a five star review for Sunday Times the other day and yeah come along we're three months in advance but when you come and you get in it's an experience so yeah so it's Maison Restaurant in Farnham. Sounds amazing and what about your socials do you have any socials?

SPEAKER_00 35:58

Yeah Instagram is MaisonFarnum Facebook is Maison Farnham and Euro oh yeah me Laurnette Valentine is Laurette underscore Valentine okay yeah well thank you so much Laurnette for sharing your experiences and your sometimes hairy experiences on the trail it's been amazing speaking with you. Yeah thank you so much Laurette didn't just run 50 miles she dismantled every excuse the rest of us are still holding on to she started at 46 on a treadmill falling over no running history and absolutely no idea that five years later she'd be on a storm battered coastline half blind knee deep in mud and still moving and yet here she is so before you close this episode and pick up where your day left off I want you to sit with a few things. First, break it down where are you starting at the full 50 miles paralyzed by the distance instead of asking what's my next age station? You don't need to see the whole path you just need to take the first step two identity isn't fixed. PA, teacher, graphic designer, restauranter, ultra runner what label are you still wearing that no longer fits? And what might be possible if you took it off three stop waiting to feel ready. This one keeps coming up through lots of our episodes Lorette fell off a treadmill and started anyway. Readiness is a myth starting is the qualification. What have you been putting off waiting for a confidence that only comes from doing the thing four look at your circle Lornette deliberately surrounds herself with people who are faster, further ahead and wiser not to feel small but to be pulled forward. Is your circle stretching you or keeping you comfortable? 5 know your fuel she knows exactly what gets her up the hill her music, her people, her food, her purpose Do you know what fuels you and are you protecting it or letting it quietly run dry six trust the process she cut her mind into in half and hated every second of it until race day. Where are you resisting a process because it doesn't feel like enough trust it the results are coming seven keep moving movement is medicine. Stillness is sometimes where stiffness in the body and in life takes hold what have you been standing still with for too long eight if they can you can this is Launette's whole philosophy. She sees someone doing the thing and decides she can do it too. What have you applied that same belief to the one goal you've been quietly talking yourself out of Laurette's story isn't really about running it's about the belief stubborn joyful and completely contagious that you're not the finished article that the next chapter is still being written that it is never, ever too late to become someone you didn't see coming. You don't need a race you don't need a plan you just need to take the next step. So if this conversation moved you, as always, share it. Send it to someone who needs to hear it today. A friend who keeps saying one day a woman in your life who has more in her than she realizes because that's how we grow this community. One conversation one person at a time and if you haven't already please leave a review. It takes two minutes and it means everything. It helps more women find these conversations and it helps me to keep making them if you haven't already come and find us over on Instagram at unshrinkable midlife moves. I'd love to know what you landed for you today. Drop me a message tell us what your next aid station is I genuinely want to know. So until next time stop looking at the whole race find your next aid station and then the one after that and keep moving