Season 2 Ep 2 -From Betrayal to Power: How I Took My Reign Back

What happens when the identity you’ve built your life on… breaks?

In this deeply personal episode of Suitt & Boot, Tshai shares how hidden truths about her father, her marriage, and her family forced her to confront something many people avoid:

Who are you when everything you believed about yourself is no longer true?

This is not just a story about betrayal.
 It’s about pattern recognition, breaking generational cycles, and taking your power back.

Through the Scorphenegle framework, Tshai walks you through the transformation from:

•  🦂 Scorpion — feeling the sting 
•  🦅 Eagle — seeing the pattern 
•  🔥 Phoenix — choosing differently 

…and what it truly means to move from survival into sovereignty.

Because the truth may break you…
 but it can also set you free.

✨ Take the Scorphenegle Quiz:
Discover your mode and how you respond to life’s challenges
👉 https://scorphenegle.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

From scorpion to eagle to Phoenix, where we scorpionagle through life's challenges. So for most of my life, I thought I was my father's only child. That wasn't just a fact, that was identity. It was something my mother reinforced. In fact, she placed it on a pedestal. So the fact that I was my father's child meant that I was chosen. It meant I was special. I was punished for being loved by my father. My mother would reinforce things like, your daddy, he doesn't care about you, he doesn't want you, you know, just to tear me down a little bit, she would say, he is a womanizer. Oh, he's he's not even here.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

And even when she was praising him, there was something underneath it, something that made it clear that this connection came with weight. So I held on to it for dear life. Because when you are punished for something, you don't let it go. You grip it tighter because it becomes who you are. Until one day that identity broke.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

My brother showed up on my doorstep.

SPEAKER_00 2:13

Not a conversation, not a warning, nothing. And just like that, everything I believed about myself was no longer solid. My father had another child. And I did not know about it.

SPEAKER_01 2:51

And here's what people don't talk about in situations like this. When your identity is built on something, and that something shatters, you don't just feel hurt, you just don't know who you are anymore. You lose a belief. I lost a version of myself. And when that identity is rooted in silence and secrets and things that you do not know, you start to question everything.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

Was my life a lie? Was I living inside something that was not real? And when shame is attached to it, you start to feel like you are the shame. Then life repeats what you have not healed.

SPEAKER_01 4:26

Now, fast forward to my marriage. We met young at fifteen. There was love, there was everything that we thought we were going to do differently than our parents did. But there was also unhealed wounds. Trauma recognizes trauma. And so we attach to each other, we bond with each other. So we were forming a trauma bond. And we kept living our lives like everything was fine and dandy. And then in 2018, the walls of Jericho came tumbling down in my life. My husband got another woman pregnant. But you guys know the story already if you've been listening to season from season one, right? And then I just noticed that it was the same pattern as my relationship with my dad. Same pattern, different person, same rupture. I lost my identity. Everything came shattering down because who I thought I was, the wife, best friend, all came tumbling down. And then in 2023, something else came back. Something else came out again. I got an email, I got a message from Facebook. Another sibling was coming to life. Another life. And the caveat is she was living ten minutes away from my home in Jamaica.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

I didn't even know.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

The question that they asked me is was my father alive?

SPEAKER_00 6:40

Because they were trying to reach him. That's what silence does. It creates entire lives that never connect.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

And in that moment when the young lady reached out to me, it was not even the young lady that was supposed to be my sister. It was her sister. But I had a choice in that moment. Because my ex-husband had a choice too. When he found out that he got another woman pregnant, he could have lied to me. He could have not told me. He could have lived a double life like apparently my dad was living for many, many years. He could have done what my father did.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

But he didn't.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

You know, my scorpion was stinging, everything was coming in. Now let me be clear. I was never excusing the behavior because my reactions, you know, were very obvious because I was yelling, screaming. But I recognized something powerful about a week ago. Truth breaks chains. Even when it hurts, even when it costs everything. And in that realization, I made the most difficult call I've ever made in my life.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

I called my ex-husband and I said to him, I respect you.

SPEAKER_01 9:03

I respect you because you told me the truth when you didn't have to, when it cost you the most. Your life, his life was gonna come tumbling down. And I suspect that is why my father didn't tell about all those siblings that I had that he knew about. And when I told my ex-husband that I respected him, that wasn't about him, that was about me. That was me taking my reign back, taking my power back. That was my Scorfinago moment. That right there was my sovereignty because I could have lived in victimhood for a longer time. I could have stayed there, I could have blamed him, I could have said, This is the most devastating thing that has ever occurred to me. I could have dwelled on it, and I could have just been mad at him and say, look what he did to me. He hurt me, he upset me, and I could have lived that going on into my life.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

But who would that have helped?

SPEAKER_01 10:44

It would only hurt me, continue to hurt him. It would have pushed us further apart, the connection would have been lost even more. That anger and resentment and my disruption of my life that alleged that he caused, because he did cause a disruption, because we built our life together. And I could have stayed in that story to where my best friend, my childhood sweetheart, has just shattered everything for me. But I chose to scorefinagel because scorpionagel is freedom, it is releasing, it is breaking the chains, taking back your ring.

SPEAKER_00 11:41

And once you do that, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 11:49

It is magical because you don't control that based on what was done to you. You control that by choosing who be you become after. Are you gonna be a scorpion? Are you gonna be an eagle? Or are you going to be a phoenix? Or are you going to put all of those together? The scorpion feels the sting. The eagle sees the pattern. The phoenix chooses differently how to handle it, what to do with it. And this is how I know that I've reached a stage to where it is no longer about the hurt, the fact that caused it. It is how I handle this life-changing experience moving forward. And let me be clear: sometimes score finagle is not something as big as, you know, life-changing. Sometimes it's just a simple truth. Sometimes it's a simple step that you take to take back your reign and break your generational cycles and break your generational curse. Now, if my ex-husband had continued to live on that generational trauma, that pain, I could have been living the cycle. I could have been carrying on the same traditions that my parents did and their parents before them did. But at the end of the day, there would be no reason to bring that on, to carry that on, to bring that forward, to make that be my life. That's why scorpionagel is so powerful. It's a tool that you can use as to when you need it to make your life the best version of you, the best version of yourself. Because if I had kept this anger, if I had kept stinging like a scorpion, I would not have felt like I feel this moment, like a weight is lifted off my shoulders. I don't feel like I wasn't enough. Because holding on to that pain makes you look at what you, you know, make you feel like it was your fault, make you feel like, oh, you did something wrong. What could I have done better? But this is not your baggage to carry. What your baggage and what my baggage was was my actions, my trauma, and how I'm gonna move it forward. My father's betrayal of my mother is not my basket to carry. That is my dad's basket to carry. Even though I lost a connection with a possible sibling and I was lied to for years and years and years, I need to let go. And I did. I needed to move forward with my life and know that these are the moments that will change everything for me. These are the moments that you have to take your reign back. And if you don't take your rein back, who are you? Because in a moment, your life can change by one truth being exposed. Everything that you taught was reality, everything that you taught was you, your identity can be ripped apart, plucked away from you.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

But how you handle it, how you deal with it, it is how you're gonna move forward.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

Are you gonna move forward stinging in victimhood? Are you gonna break the chains and take back your rein and score finagle? Now, let me be clear: scorfinagel is not a perfect method. It is choice, it is autonomy, it is making thoughtful, independent choices. Now, my ex-husband could have just held that truth and moved on. But he squirfenagled instead. Now, I'm sure he didn't know he was squenegling, he just knew that he had to break his generational cycle, his trauma of the past, because he has his own childhood abandonment issues that he did not want to pass on to that child, even though taking responsibility for that broke up his life and broke up everything that he thought was real with me and him. But he had to break the chains. Now, if you're wondering what mode you're in, scorpion, eagle, or phoenix, take the scorpionagle quiz at scorpionagle.com and find your mode. Now, how do you take your reign back? You start by telling one truth at a time and breaking those links of generational lies and secrets and shame. This has been Suit and Boot Standing Up in Truth, transformation, and breaking out of trauma. From scorpion to eagle to Phoenix. Until next time, take back your in.