SE EP3 “You Don’t Have Trust Issues… You Have a Father Wound (The Truth About Daddy Issues)”

There is a wound that doesn’t look like a wound.
 It looks like love.
 It looks like protection.
 It looks like “daddy’s little girl.”

But what happens when the first man you trusted…
 is the one who taught you not to trust at all?

 If you heard my Season 1 episode on mother and father wounds…
 this is the deeper truth I didn’t fully understand yet. !

In this episode of SUITT & BOOT, Tshai Wright unpacks the truth about father wounds—not just absence, but contradiction.

Because sometimes the person who made you feel the safest…
 also taught you that safety isn’t real.

Tshai shares her personal journey of:

•  Growing up idolizing her father 
•  Ignoring what didn’t match the image 
•  Carrying those patterns into her marriage 
•  And realizing she was loving… but never fully trusting 

This episode explores how unprocessed childhood experiences quietly shape:

•  The way you love 
•  The way you trust 
•  The patterns you repeat in relationships 

And how to finally break them.

Through the Scorphenegle framework:

🦂 Instincts (Scorpion) — survival and protection
 🦅 Insight (Eagle) — awareness and recognition
 🔥 Ignition (Phoenix) — transformation and release

Because the truth is:

If you don’t name it, you cannot transform it.
 And survival is not sovereignty.

🎧 Listen now and take back your reign.
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👉 scorphenegle.com

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👉 https://entrepreneurofimpact.org/2026/tshai-wright
VOTE DAILY FOR FREE

Drop a 👑 if you’re breaking the cycle.
#scorphenegle #Scorphenegleswitch #suittandboot #teckbackyoureign #dothescorphenegle

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Skavenagle Scar the Nigel There's a wound that doesn't look like a wound. It looks like love. It looks like protection. It looks like admiration.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

It looks like Daddy's little girl. But what happens when the man you trusted first is the one who taught you not to trust at all.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

Welcome back to Suit and Boot, where we stand up in truth, transformation, and break out of trauma. Where we go from scorpion to eagle to phoenix in the scorpion eagle way of life. Now we're talking about wounds. We're talking about specifically father wounds. Now, if you've been listening to the podcast, I've said this before. My father was my hero. He was my everything. He would take me driving. I was nine years old, and I'm there driving a manual transmission car in Jamaica, you know, and that was just unprecedented. A lot of little girls wanted to be able to do that. So those kind of things, he would take me with him to do grown-up stuff, you know. And in a lot of ways, that made me feel special. It made me feel chosen. It made me feel like Daddy's little girl. Now, when a little girl is chosen by her father, she builds her identity around that, being just daddy's little girl. That becomes her standard. At least it became my standard, anyways. It became my world.

SPEAKER_00 2:39

It pretty much became my everything. And specifically, it really became my truth. But here's what I did not realize. You can put someone on a pedestal and still be standing on a lie.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

So because nobody sat me down and explained relationships to me, no one sat me down and said, Some men are gonna lie to you, you know. Um you're gonna have to decipher truth from lie. Nobody sat me down and said sometimes men are gonna cheat. Nobody said sometimes people are going to live double lives. Things were just happening in the adult households, in the adult relationships that essentially I I just I I never got. I didn't know what was going on. And when you don't understand what's happening around you, you don't process it, you just store it like a computer in the back of your head, in the back of your mind, and you lock it away tight and you put it away in lock and key. And that's exactly what I did for years and years. Um, I knew that since I was about twelve or so years old when he showed up on my doorstep. And you know, if you've been listening to um season one and throughout the podcast, you know that's something I talk about. But the truth of that, the ramifications of that for me as a little girl that based her identity in her dad, it didn't connect. Because for me, the truth did not match the image, the mental, you know, what I saw my dad as. It just didn't match the image I had of my father.

SPEAKER_00 6:30

And I wasn't ready to break that image. So I disconnected.

SPEAKER_01 6:45

I broke access from my own awareness. It was like a phone that I just unplugged that line, and I just locked it away, and I kept loving him like nothing was wrong. Because essentially, it was not wrong for me, it was who I knew, daddy I knew, everything was fine and dandy. He was never betraying me, he was never lying to me. And here is where it shows up. And again, if you've been listening, fast foul fast forward to my marriage in 2018. Because, like myself, a lot of people think that what happened with your father stays with your father.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

No, it doesn't stay there.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

It follows you through adulthood, through all your relationships, no matter how tight you lock that little box away, no matter how much you pretend like it never existed, it follows you, it goes with you, it is ingrained in your DNA, it is ingrained in your makeup, into your choices, it is ingrained into your heart. Because while I loved my husband, the realization is I never gave him my whole heart because I couldn't. Instead what I did, I was watching him, studying him, waiting for him to mess up. Just like my father did. Subconsciously, I was waiting for that day to happen because of what I've seen. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Not because of who he is or who he was, whatever it is as a husband in the relationship.

SPEAKER_00 9:37

I'm not saying he was good, bad weather for, but it was because of what I had learned from my father. Now, let me be clear.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

This that's the daddy wound, and it's ongoing, and it's always gonna be around, and it's so much deeper than people think. It's not just an absent father or an absent parent, because we have mommy wounds too, and we have more than one of these wounds uh daddy wounds, mommy wounds, there we can have several of them, you know. It's not just abandonment, it's contradiction. It's when the man who you thought made you feel safe as a child, as a little girl, also taught you directly or indirectly that safety is not real. Now, daddy was in my life, and I felt that safety wasn't real. So you could be abandoned by your dad and you don't even feel safe. You could have that daddy wound. But for me, what I did, I loved with hesitation. I trusted, but with conditions, with a caveat. You give, but you hold back just enough to protect yourself. Now that's that scorpion protection, run away and hide because you know that the hurt is coming. And I felt that scorpion sting since childhood through my entire thirty Somadi year marriage with my high school sweetheart. But I ignored it. I observed the patterns, but I didn't name them.

SPEAKER_00 12:34

And if you don't name it, you cannot transform it. So I stayed in survival. Aware, but not free. And then one day the eagle flew in.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

And for me, the moment everything connected.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

My father, my husband, the patterns. The realization that this was not random. This was reputation. This was conditioning. This trauma running on autopilot.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

And when I saw it when I really saw it, I couldn't unsee it. I couldn't unfeel it, I couldn't unlive it.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

But here's the part that changed everything for me.

SPEAKER_01 15:06

And if you heard the prior episode, how I called my ex-husband and I told him I respected him because he didn't live a double life, right? So my husband did something my father didn't do. He told me the truth, as I'm as I'm telling you. And that maybe not it might not be a big deal. You know, it might sound small to some people. But coming from a background, a generational background of deception, living double lives, lies, etc. For me, that was a lot. That was everything. Because I was hell-bent on not reliving my mom's life as a woman, as you know, taking that, so to speak, from a man. He chose truth over deception. And don't get me wrong, he was in an ongoing relationship with this young lady for a while. So he had ongoing deception. But the difference is when the time mattered for, and it was high at stakes for everybody, for the baby, for him, for me, for the woman that he got pregnant. It was high stakes. So he could have just kept living a double life. It would have been easier for him. But it it it it meant something deeper for me when he told me. It made me realize and it made me understand that not men, all men are not the same, right? Because this is what was ingrained in my pattern, ingrained in my DNA. Men are cheaters, you know, they're gonna lie. So you can't give them your heart. And this is irony at its finest, because even though my husband did lie and cheat, the roundabout end result was that it did teach me that that is not the reality. That's not what it has to be. That was my Phoenix moment. My Phoenix moment wasn't the pain, not the betrayal, but the ownership naming it, seeing it, saying it, saying this isn't just what happened to me this is what I've been carrying. And if I if I was carrying something so heavy, and if I don't release it, I don't let it go, I would keep recreating it. That was something for me. My my moment. And it came full circle. Now, healing is not a pretty thing, it hurts, and you want to give up all the time. You're like, forget it. I just want to lay down and cry and be the you know, everything that is it's easy. And it's not instant. It takes it's time and time again. It's muscle movement, it's like when you're working out and you're training those muscles. It doesn't get, you know, you don't get muscles overnight. It's not a quote on Instagram, it's fists, it's sitting in your truth without running from it, without blaming someone else for your generational traumas, for the patterns that you are living out, and you don't even realize it because of what you've seen and what was not uns what was never spoken. You can't be blaming everyone else without numbing it. It's opening your heart to something you've spent your entire life protecting and it's heavy.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

It's a lot You're running from it.

SPEAKER_01 20:05

That, my friends, that is scorpion eagle. It's instincts, insight, ignition, putting that into work, and then you're getting that integration. The scorpion feels it, you feel it, you feel this thing, you see it in ego, you transform it, and then you become something not new, but something that rise from the burn of the lies and the deception. You don't come out broken, you don't come out bitter, but you come out aware that these are patterns and you see patterns and you move differently. Integrated, you're powerful. That's why I talk about taking back your reign. Because taking back your reign is taking back your power, and it is so important to take your power back when you've lost what you thought was your identity, when you lost everything that you thought was you. So let me ask you something. What did your first love teach you about love? Tell me. Drop it in here, drop it in the comments.

SPEAKER_00 21:43

Because whether you realize it or not, you have been living that lesson ever since. But here's the truth.

SPEAKER_01 22:09

You I don't have to keep living it. Not one bit. You can change your trajectory. You can rewrite it. You can release it. You can break it. You can burn it. You can scorfagle it.

SPEAKER_00 22:41

Now tell me if this episode spoke to you, take the scorponagle quiz.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

It's scorfinagel.com s c or p e n e-g L E. It's scorfinagel.com. And just a little reminder that I'm running for Entrepreneur of Impact from March 23rd until April 2nd is the final next round. And you can vote for me by going to Entrepreneur of Impact. I'm gonna drop the link here too. I thank you for your vote, everyone. The Entrepreneur of Impact, it supports Gen Youth. It's a wonderful organization that supports school children in need. Now, if you take the quiz, you can find out whether you're in scorpion mode, ego mode, phoenix mode, or you're simply scorpingagling like a Don Gorgon. Now, don't just talk about scorpionagle, integrate it and be about it. Don't talk about healing, be about it. Until next time, this has been suit and boot standing up in truth, transformation, and breaking out of trauma From Scorpion to Eagle to Phoenix.

SPEAKER_00 24:24

Let's scorphenagle in instincts, insight, ignition, and let's integrate.