Birthday Reflections - What I Learned This Year

In this episode I bounce around a handful of lessons that have really landed for me this year - honestly, each one could’ve been its own episode

I get into what it actually means (and how hard it can be) to stay present, the kind of stamina it takes to move through heavy seasons, and why giving yourself permission to dream and visualize still matters - maybe now more than ever. I also touch on my relationship with God, how that’s been showing up for me lately, and finish with some real talk about my wife and how much she anchors me. I couldn't imagine life without her.

It’s a bit of a mix, a bit of a ramble, but it’s honest.

Have a listen—and if something lands, I’d love to hear what that is for you.

@ikescoaching

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hey, welcome back to another edition of Bogeys and Breakthroughs. It has been some time since my last recording, and since then I've turned 43. And I thought, hey, wouldn't it be fun just to touch on a few things and discuss what I've learned in my last year on this planet? The one that is round, but also might be flat because everyone might have lied to us. We don't know. So well, it really doesn't matter. It really doesn't really matter if the earth is round or flat. I mean, it matters because we are potentially being lied to. But when it comes to our day-to-day living, it really doesn't matter. Because if we want to assume the world's flat right now, we just carry on because the sun's gonna rise and it's gonna set, or it's gonna spin on a different axis or go round, or whatever it does if the earth if the earth is flat, right? So, um, what's my point? This is the type of shit I've learned this year is to let it go, let let as many things go as possible. So, with that being said, I've got a list of things here I've written down, and to be honest, I think each one of these points could probably be a podcast on its own. But for the sake of this exercise, I'm gonna hit these points and elaborate a little bit, and then if I feel the call to do it in the future, maybe I'll spin on them a little bit more. So these are in somewhat of an organized order, but also somewhat not. So we're just gonna let this fly and see where it lands. Um, so number one, I fuck. Each time I pick up a golf club, each time I talk to somebody about golf, each time I see it on TV, each time I hit balls in my backyard, I just love this sport so much, and it has done so much for me. Uh, it has provided to uh for my family. Uh, I make a living through the sport um in so many different ways. And you know, in more recent times, creating this module and this course and program around golf called Golf and Growth, it just continues to reveal so much to me. And so uh for a plethora of reasons, I just love this sport. Um, something that, and then this to me is a podcast all on its own, but one thing that I've come to love is I rarely use an alarm clock anymore. I I spent so many years waking up to one to get ready for the golf course, uh, you know, 4:30, 5 a.m. wake-up calls, get to the golf course. And, you know, I think after a while, it burns you out, right? Especially that early in the morning. Um, and I think even without even knowing it, I recognize that I've created this life for myself where I allow my body now to get up when it's ready. And if I am nourishing myself through the day properly and hydrating and, you know, not eating late and all these different things, I can get a restful night's sleep, and my body will wake up when it's when it wants to. And, you know, there's some days where I actually might go to bed feeling really fatigued, but I might only get six hours of sleep and get up early. And I could go to bed at 11 o'clock and wake up at six o'clock, or you know, go to bed at midnight after you know getting Ella home from volleyball or something, and I'm up at 5 30. It's it's it's kind of bizarre. And there's other mornings where, you know, I'll I'll sleep until 7.30 or so. And again, for me, there's still kind of a I still have a bit of a negative connotation towards sleeping in. And I mean, now being 43, sleeping in is eight o'clock. Like I don't know if I can even really sleep past that unless I was on a big bender or something, but that really doesn't happen anymore. And even if it does, I'm still up at 6:30, 6 o'clock in the morning, um, 7 o'clock, right? So what's my point here? Um, again, I think this is a is a beautiful topic and something I'll expand on more later. But I am grateful that I know that maybe I didn't put it down on paper, but I have had the intention of creating a new life for myself, one that doesn't require an alarm clock. And really now the only time I use one is to get up to um if we have to catch a flight somewhere, if we happen to go on a trip, or I've got to get up early for an appointment, or one of the girls has something going on uh with one of their sporting activities. That is really the only time I use one. And here's the shitty thing: I'm so anxious the night before because I don't want to miss the alarm clock. I fucking hardly sleep anyway, so there's no need for the alarm clock. Um, anyway, so I don't know how that landed for you to hear that, but it is I don't actually think I could probably give myself enough credit or appreciate enough the luxury that I've created for myself a life where I'm not listening to or whatever beautiful chimey ringtone I might have to wake me up in the morning. So um grateful for that. Well, this one, yeah. I I use this quote a number of times on this podcast, but again, it's Peter Crohn's. Life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you're not free. And this year revealed that more than once, more than twice, multi- a multitude of times. So that quote to me, it rings true, and that quote actually helps ground me because if something hits the fan, or maybe I've hit a blind spot or something's triggered me or whatever, it's like uh I'm not free, I'm not free. Something needs to be seen here, and it could be a person or it could be a circumstance. And so thank you, Peter, for that quote. Um, oh, I came across this one. I should have written down that woman's name, but this is another quote that I came across recently, and you know, maybe it it's a segue from Peter's quote there, but it's we don't get to control the length of our adversity, you get to control who you who you are when you're in it. Let me repeat that again because I kind of botched at the end there. I'm not starting this podcast over, and I'm not gonna edit it either, but anyway, quote, we don't get to control the length of our adversity, you get to control who you are in it. End quote. And that was from uh oh, was her name Lawson? She's uh she's the women's basketball coach for Duke University, and I just happened to see it on Instagram, and when I saw it, I was in it and it landed, and I just wrote that down, and it's one I'm gonna keep with me for a long time because it's true, obviously. You can't control the length of the adversity, it's there for as long as it wants to be uh present, and it's there until we see what needs to be seen, learned, etc., and then it'll move on. But the ticket is we get to control who we are when we're in it, we get to regulate our emotions, we get to you know rise above the bullshit and you know be better because of it all. So that's a great quote. Um this is something I'm learning as I get a little bit older, um, and more so from an energetic and spiritual level. Not so much that I'm 43 and maybe getting a little bit older, the rigs getting older, but your body is always speaking to you. And I think about it, I think about my digestion, uh when my back might be hurting, when my shoulder might hurt, when my neck might hurt, uh, maybe when I get an achy throat. Um there are that the body is so intelligent and it has so much information that it is trying to share with us. And if we are wise enough to slow down and and listen to what it's trying to say, we can expedite a lot of our learning. We can expedite a lot of our healing if we are willing just to take a breath and sit in the discomfort for a little bit and go, hey, and you know, almost metaphorically, if I'm dealing with a pain in my butt or a pain in my neck, just look at it figuratively. Like, what's it what's my body trying to say? Hey, what feels like a pain in the ass right now? Oh, that does? Okay, well, let's try and dissolve that and let it go, right? Oh, you got a pain in your neck? Well, what's a pain in your neck right now? Okay, well, this person triggered me and I had to go through this. Okay, well, either have a tough conversation or deal with it on yourself, but regardless, there's no need to have the pain in the neck. So I'm here to tell you something. Let that go, Jeffrey. So that uh the body continues to be a beautiful communicator to me. Um, oh, here's a nice little segue. I had this conversation with a friend of mine when this topic came up, and my question to her was do scars ever fully heal? Meaning you could suture them up, you could give them all the time, but does it ever fully scar over? Like if I've got a suture and I've got a scar, but I'm running along and I trip and fall, and this is on my knee, and I happen to scuff my knee, and that that scar just opens up a little bit more and begins bleeding again. Like, does a wound, does a trauma, does a whatever ever truly heal? And her response to me was well, I don't think she ever said yes or no, but what she said is that scar carries a lot of intelligence. And when I heard that, it kind of just allowed me to take a deep breath. It's like, oh yeah, I mean, you can't forget the past, you can't forget the hurt. I mean, time does heal all things, but we are going to encounter situations in our lives where maybe that scar doesn't fully heal, or the scar has, but when you look in the mirror, you can still feel it, you can still sense it, it's still there. You can rub your finger over it, it's like braille. You can you can feel that, right? Um, or there is the physical representation, you can actually see it as well. But it has healed over, and it carries so much intelligence and wisdom. And if we get into a similar situation in the future, that scar is there to remind us, to create the boundary, to have the tough conversation, to walk away, to say yes, to say no, whatever that situation might require, right? So I thought that was really beautiful. Oh, should I save that one? Yeah, let me circle that one. I'm gonna save that one for a minute. Um, I think a couple times this year I did this writing burn letters. Burn letters work. I I don't know if that on a full moon, I can't recall, but maybe it was the new year. Yeah, I think Terry and I did that on the new year. Um just, you know, 2025 had its moment, and we were just like, fuck this. And so yeah, went through the practice of of writing the burn letter, and what we actually did to amplify the call it ceremony was uh Terry and I, Terry and I sat in the hot tub and we read our letter together to one another, and it was kind of beautiful because it it's vulnerable, but I'm also able to connect and resonate with my wife, my partner, and vice versa, she could do the same thing, and I think it amplified the energy of the desire to get rid of, burn off uh what is no longer serving us or what we would like to see dissipate and disappear. And I can say um that you know, a few of the things that I had written down have definitely done that. Now they didn't do it overnight, but I do know they alchemize, they they just seem to let go, and I'll share at a later date maybe what those were, but that uh if you've never done a burn letter before, Google how to do that. I mean, you know it's not the Google anything. Write down a letter of what you don't want to have in your life anymore and burn the fucking thing. It's pretty simple. But if you do it in a uh a non-cynical way and you do it with uh beautiful intention and and uh you're genuine about it, it can have a lot of healing properties. Okay, yeah, I'm gonna save that one. These next two are probably like the same thing but different. Um but stillness is priceless. I'm actually sitting in my truck right now outside in a parking lot while Ella's at volleyball practice, and it's very still. There's a few cars driving by, but I'm in a pretty secluded spot, safe spot, doors are locked, don't worry. Um if you are fearful of me here in Markham, Ontario, but I'm okay. I'm in a lit parking lot. Um but yeah, stillness. And stillness can be painful, and I think that's why a lot of people avoid stillness, is because you have to be with yourself. You know, you you go to the gym, and how many people have music on, and the music's blaring, and they've got a podcast and stuff. Like there is a the there's uh there's still a distraction happening while they're working out, in my opinion, my estimation, my observation, my opinion, my belief. And what I've come to believe is the importance of being able to sit in your shit. And I know recently I was going through some stuff, and I was actually feeling a little called to go work out and uh try and move the energy. But what I recognized was all I was doing was looking for an escape. I was trying to numb the pain I was in. And is going for a walk, is going for a workout, is moving your body nutritious? It is, is it, is it necessary sometimes? 100%. But I also believe that discernment is required to know what is necessary in the moment. And for me, I just recognized that I was trying to escape something. And yes, you could go to the gym, you could go for the walk, you could do these things, but you have to be very careful that you're not distracting yourself from what wants to be seen. And so, yes, you might go to the gym and you might put an extra plate on, or you might do an extra rep and you might look in the mirror after you're done and go, fuck yeah. Yeah, I did the hard thing, I did the one more rep. I did the extra weight, I am a good person, I am awesome. But that shadow, that situation is still waiting for you if you didn't address it during the workout. Do you know what I mean? So it's really important to find that stillness. And I found myself that you know what was more important is to almost sit in a chair and stare at the fucking wall. And you might call that meditation, or you might just be call it being present. Um, I mean, in the end, I think the F I don't want to get too off too off topic here, but like life is a meditation. Life should life should be a meditation. And I think meditation, all it is, is coming to the present moment. And so that's all I tried to bring to the situation was presence. And by doing that, it could be something as simple as just staring at the wall or just being in stillness and just letting the thoughts come and go and filter through them and see what needs to be seen, what wants to stay, what wants to go, what needs to stay, what needs to go, and and let it rip. So stillness is priceless, and in the same vein, slowing down to speed up. I talk about this in my golf and growth program. I think about it a lot when it comes to the golf swing, playing the game, and even in life, like being able to slow down can allow you to propel yourself so much faster forward. And I find myself like you know, in the you know, using golf as the metaphor or the analogy, like slowing down, watching my breath, observing my breath, making a smooth swing, slowing down and becoming in coherence with the the golf swing. Um what's the word I'm looking for there? Um sinking it all together by putting the pieces together slowly, I'm gonna hit the ball straighter and likely further. That's gonna save me time, which actually means I've gone further, as opposed to getting up there anxious and swinging with fear and worrying about too many things. My swing, is it in the right position? Who's watching me? I'm speeding up, my breath is speeding up, etc. etc. And then guess what? I blow the ball left or I blow the ball right, I've got to go find it, I have to hit another one. Next thing you know, I'm further behind than I was if I would just slow down. So I love that metaphor. Slowing down to speed up, make sense. Um that one can go, that one can go there. Okay, we're almost done here. We're doing good. Um, these next ones might get a little heavy, but they're also meant to uh motivate to some degree as well. So yeah. No, I wanted to spin that the other way. So this goes both ways. Using the word vulnerability. Sorry, I'm rambling to myself there. You're listening to the podcast, it's your fault. Listen back to the idea of like stillness is priceless and slowing down to speed up. I've come to learn that like being present requires vulnerability. To be with yourself and your thoughts and to call yourself out in your own bullshit, see yourself in the mirror, look at your shadows, that requires a lot of honesty, it requires a lot of vulnerability, and it is fucking painful sometimes, you know. So that's something I've learned, and I've also learned though that similar to slowing down to speed up, when it comes to vulnerability, vulnerability is an accelerant to your growth, it is an accelerant to your healing. So the more you can bring, you know, be vulnerable and become present with yourself, it actually is like jet fuel, it's a rocket ship forward to your growth, to your expansion. It's just it requires a lot of discomfort sometimes, and so um that's something I could riff on for a long time, but um, I think for now I'll leave it there, and it makes sense to me, and I hope it makes sense to you. So remember, in my opinion, yes, being present requires vulnerability, but being vulnerable is going to accelerate you further and faster and bring you into alignment and just bring you into more coherence and all those beautiful things. I use the word jet fuel, and what shows up to me is when you can sit in your shit and you can come out the other side with greater clarity, and um you've seen what needed to be seen, and again you find that clarity, you can find inspired action. You are gonna find your creativity. That that gift for you is on the other side, and it feels like jet fuel. And I know for me, there's many times where um I've been in it, and I come out the other side with clarity, and and I and I get I get I I I generate this all this energy inside of me that just acts like jet fuel, and you know, I don't need eight or nine hours of sleep. I can run off of six and uh you know not even worried about food and shit and all that stuff. I'm just like just amplified, right? So um yeah, inspired action. There's nothing there's nothing better than that feeling when you're feeling so creative uh and aligned and just rocking and rolling. Fuck, it feels good. Um so yeah, man, those are all decent, and I think this is where I might get a little a little heavy here, and I've again I've only got a couple left here. Oh, are you only 20 minutes in? That's a good use of your time, I hope. Um, so something that's really gotten me out of some darker times recently is just dreaming. Dreaming into the future. I mean, I'm not even paying attention to what's going on in this world right now. I mean, uh apparently they're flying around the moon, and apparently Donald Trump or whoever's trying to blow up Iran and either control oil or the banking system or control the planet, who knows? But there's a lot of shit going on out there, and I have a sliver of understanding of what's going on. Um, but my point is aside from all that external shit, dealing with my own stuff, it's been a lot of time. And what has propelled me through it is just dreaming, visualizing the future, visualizing a beautiful outcome, um whatever that is, and it's not fluffy, it's not some sort of affirmation. I think it's uh it's providing meaning in my life. And you know, Dr. Victor Frankel talks about this in his book. You know, he was uh a Holocaust survivor, he was uh, I believe he's a psychologist, and when he when he um when they finally when the war ended and they they got out of the concentration camps, you know, he wrote his book and and talked about his journey um during this time in his life, which was obviously horrific, but he just talked about having to find meaning in the most disgusting of situations, you know, m finding meaning in a bowl of soup, which was nothing more than dirty water and a fish head, where the Nazis were trying to demean the Jews, and so he had to find a way, and he recognized that the ones that passed away, the ones that couldn't make it, are the ones that just lost meaning, they lost hope, they they they lost their faith, unfortunately. And so uh a bit of a winded way to say, yeah, and I'm not fuck me, I'm not comparing my life to being in the Holocaust. Let me make that really clear. But I am saying, um, at times I'm creating my own suffering, I'm going through my own stuff, shit's happening to me, it's happening for me, all that stuff. But in the depths of it, I've I've dreamed into the future. And again, I mean I just talked about making sure we come to the present moment, but sometimes when we are present and we're recognizing that man, fucking life is really chaotic right now. Maybe it's okay to escape into the future, maybe it's okay to because our thoughts become things. You know, this pen I'm holding on to at one time was a thought. The truck I'm sitting in right now, at one time that was a thought and it came to fruition. And so to get out of the hole I'm in, to get out of the poor feelings, to get out of this negative energy, I've got a dream into a positive future. So um, for sure, that has definitely helped me this uh this year. Um I've also recognized that life these days, and this is probably entrepreneurship in a nutshell, but life in general, I think for a lot of people, requires a lot of stamina. It just requires so much goddamn energy to get through the day. We're dealing with people that have no common sense, dealing with politicians who are trying to ruin our country, um, dealing with just society in general. I was gonna say a bunch of things that probably get me in trouble, so I gotta watch my tongue here, but um the the the point is I think right now, especially just kind of uh energetically, there's just so much going on. It's exhausting to be human, and it's exhausting if you're doing the work and you're carrying the load and you're an empathetic person, you're compassionate, and you're trying to do the best you can, and you're trying to you know help humanity, and you're trying to have an impact, and you're trying to serve your customers, and you're trying to serve your family, and you're trying to serve yourself, and it's just like fuck, it's it's a lot, and so that's what I've recognized is just like you know, just thankfully, through my upbringing, playing hockey and uh you know, playing golf, you know, being an entrepreneur. I've just I have an ability to find another gear, I have an ability to dig deep and find fuel where maybe doesn't you know there is no more, there's no more drops, but there's there's a there's a fume, there's something there to light a spark. And uh it feels like there's been a lot of occasions this year I've had to uh I've had to sniff those fumes uh and find that spark. So um I I don't know what that means other than it's just something I'm reminded, maybe I haven't learned, but I'm more reminded that this this life at times requires a lot of stamina, and it's just about putting one more, you know, putting that foot in front of the other, just one more step, one more rep, one more day, one more conversation, uh, one more sleep, one more glass of water. It's really that simple. Um it's mundane, it's not glamorous, it's not sexy, but it's that simple, uh as challenging as it can be. Um, you know, and I suppose, man, I don't know if this latter half of this podcast got dark. Maybe I should have rearranged these a little bit, but it doesn't matter. Here we are. Um, but in these depths of when I'm talking about, you know, dreaming my out of way of discomfort and you know, life requiring a lot of stamina right now, when I've gotten into some areas of despair, I've just remembered that none of this fucking matters. I came from nothingness and I'm gonna return to nothingness. I am literally made of stardust, I am an infinite being, I am one with the creator, whatever that is, and I am an intelligent, infinite, light being. And I see it in our kids. Like, you know, Ella she'll be 17 this um this August, so she just turned 16. She's been driving, you know, she'll come up and give me a hug, and she's almost like a full grown woman now. And well, she pretty much is, and I think sometimes, and and I'm telling you, she is fucking strong. There's some times where she hugs me or she'll grab my hand, like her grip strength, she is she is a strong girl, and uh, and I just think you were a peanut. You were you were a boiled monkey when you were born. You were six pounds, something ounces. You you know, we like you know, your mom, her mom's breast milk didn't come in, the colostrum or whatever didn't come in as quickly as it should have, and etc. And we were literally starving this young girl. I don't know why I just told that story, but I did. But my whole thing is I'm trying to paint this picture that Ella was just I'm holding my hands it right now, and she fit in both of my palms, and she was just so tiny. And now she's this grown woman who can speak and has a personality and a sense of humor and feelings and emotions, and now a boyfriend. Don't get me started on that, and it's all good, but uh great kid. But um, I'm happy for her. I really am. I'm happy, everything's good, it's fine. He's just stealing my daughter away from me, but it's fine. But she uh she was so small when she was born, and now look for she is. And so, what's my point? It's just progression. She came from nothingness, she came out of my beautiful wife, watched her be birthed, and now she's growing up, and I'm the same way. I'm just a 43-year-old baby in a man's body that has some facial hair now, nuts have dropped, and uh, I have a wife and a and a couple kids and a business or two, and I got some friends, I got a personality, my own baggage, my own bullshit, um, and none of it matters. And I spend most of my day trying to unpack it all and just find peace and serenity and freedom and you know, less day-to-day suffering because pain is inevitable, but we can reduce our suffering, and how I do that is come back to center and remind myself that life is just here to witness God, I am just God experiencing itself, and it might sound a little esoteric, but that's really what's going on, and to add on to that, the other day I was doing something at the golf club. I was cleaning out front, uh, the sand and shit in the parking lot, and I had this leaf blower on, and this guy just shows up to me, and I don't know where he came from, but he just showed up to me and asked me to go and blow something down at the other end of the plaza for the gym, and I kind of fluffed it off. But what he asked me to do was go and blow off the handicapped parking uh parking lot spot so people could see it, and I was kind of like, I wasn't in the greatest of moods. I was kind of like, fuck off. Like, I got stuff to do here, but for some reason, and it's not because it was a handicapped thing, but I think this guy just came out of nowhere, he was very kind, he was asking for a service, and I was just like, it stuck with me. And so when he walked away, I finished what I was doing, and it just kind of haunted me. I was like, God damn it, I gotta go down there and blow the spot off. But all I have to say, what I recognized was I don't know why. I don't know why it showed up for me, but I was just like, that was an interaction with God. That other human being is God in another person, and I'm interacting with that. And I just like extrapolate that. Every conversation you have with anybody is an interaction with God. That stranger you don't like, interaction with God. That person you love, interaction with God. When you look in the mirror and you talk to yourself, or you say unkind things, or you say kind things, interaction with God. And so, kind of a buttoned-up way of going, hey, Jeff, just get the fuck out of your own way and recognize you're just here to experience life. Don't take it so goddamn seriously, and just let it unfold the way it's supposed to. And that's you know, I I've learned that over the years. The sooner I can get out of my own way, the sooner that life unfolds the way that lights me up, the way that it brings me peace, it brings me clarity, brings me um Did I already say creativity? It it just life feels whole, feels coherent, can feel easy. Um and I mean at the end of the day, that's all we want in our life, right? Is it's just peace, joy, and happiness. And I talked about that um maybe before, but I remember when I did Ariana's Purpose Quest retreat a number of years ago, what came out of that for me was uh in one of the one of the exercises, I think it was through a breath work exercise we did, so I just want to manifest joy in my life. I actually don't really give a fuck what it is, it just I just want to feel joy. And I think sometimes, and even this moment as I'm talking about this out loud, I think I forget that sometimes. I'm just even if all the money isn't in the bank account, and I haven't created all the golf courses, and I haven't played the best golf I ever want to play, and I, you know had an argument with that friend or whatever the case may be, whatever other lame example I came up with here, at the end of the day, all I'm looking for is joy. So, how can I find that? I can just find it in my breath. I can find it here as I just slow down from it and go, okay, you've talked for for 33 minutes here. I can feel the tension leave my body as I take a breath, and there's joy there, and there's space. In the mornings when I get into my truck to go to the golf club to clean it up or go to the gym or go for a drive, listening to the birds chirp, there's joy. Watching Georgia jump on the trampoline and literally dance, sing like no one's watching, that's joyful. Watching Ella actually really enjoy the company of this young man, he treats her with a lot of respect. I find a lot of joy in that. As much as it kind of hurts me to say that. When my life when I can make my wife laugh, when she tells a funny joke, is Terry can be very funny. I find joy in that. And so I'll round this out by saying, too, good segue, Jeff, because I wrote down Terry here. That's one of the things I've learned this year, maybe the most, is I couldn't do my life without my wife, Terry. And I often sometimes will reflect and uh you know not pretend, but just think about who would it be if it wasn't her? Could it be that person? Could it be that person? And I when I when I do that practice, I can never I'm just like, there's no way. There's no way that person would have put up with my bullshit the way Terry does. There's no way that person would take care of me the way uh Terry does. There's no there's no way. And so uh I love her a lot, she means the world to me, and yeah, I just uh it's a it's a reminder to me. Maybe I'll just leave it there. I think that was beautiful enough. Um so anyway, that's uh those are a handful of points, or a lot of points that I have reflected on over my last 365 days on this round or flat planet, and I hope they resonated. So if you have any thoughts, let me know. I'd love to hear from you. Send me a DM or send me a text or whatever, find my number, find a way. Um, but whatever you're doing out there, I hope you're finding joy in it. I hope you're finding peace. I hope you uh I hope you are uh reducing your own suffering. Hope you're doing well in this chaotic world, and one day, hopefully sooner than later, we'll be out of this. Um because it does feel thick. The air's thick out there, but when we can when we can find peace, when we can bring gratitude to the challenging situations, um, life isn't so bad. So, anyway, um a few bogeys there, a lot of breakthroughs, hence the name of the podcast. Thanks for being here. Uh much love. We'll talk to you soon.