K&K Episode 2: Time Is Your Only Deal!

What if the difference between burnout and momentum is a single word: invest? We take a hard look at time as capital—168 hours a week that must earn returns in income, learning, health, and family presence—and share how that mindset changes the way we work deals, parent, and grow spiritually.

Our conversation moves from values to velocity. We lay out a practical model for a young parent balancing career growth, Torah study, and showing up at home, starting with a year-long direction and weekly levers that actually move it. Early mornings become a force multiplier, trading late-night drift for quiet, focused hours that compound. On the work side, we unpack qualifying deals with ruthless clarity: build a living spreadsheet, pursue only what has a real next step, and keep pushing the tortoise way. Busy is a trap; closings pay. You’ll hear why a property management start builds real estate instincts, how leasing teaches value, and how sales teaches nerve.

Then we get blunt about money and trust. If they said it, they can sign it. Commissions at the table are only safe when the terms are written, and the professionals who define their fee and scope upfront earn respect—and checks. We share the near-miss closing story, the lesson that most people want to get paid more than they want you paid, and the rare joy of partners who say “protect yourself.” Along the way, we draw a line from radical honesty in marriage to radical clarity in business: truth sets you free to be fully present when it counts.

If you’re ready to stop spending hours and start investing them, hit play. Subscribe for more real estate strategy, time tactics, and grounded stories from the field, and leave a review with your biggest time shift from this week.

Transcript

Kicking Off And Redefining Time

SPEAKER_00 0:00

All right. Let's kick off this edition of the Kesf and Kenyon podcast with uh a lot of excitement because Dad, did you know that our first episode is on track to do not hundreds of downloads, but maybe even a thousand downloads at the end of two months?

SPEAKER_01 0:22

I don't get it. Why two months?

SPEAKER_00 0:25

Well, they I get like a projection based on how many people listen per day per week. I reckon that's a lot of help for a lot of people. Well, I hope so. Dad, today's episode, I want to deal with the most important part of real estate. Uh that's just an uh an assessment and opinion, which is the time that you spend in real estate and how to spend it wisely and how to spend it in a well-organized fashion. Um there are a couple different things to break it down and get as linear and as granular as possible, but there's also a work-life balance that everyone needs to strike. And I I think yours should be called uh the time management rabbi because you're pretty good at it.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

Well, maybe you could give us a tip or two about how is it that you developed your time management uh philosophy and finding the perfect strike between uh being at every single event for the family, maybe, and also spending time in the office.

Time Is Limited, Make It Count

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Well, perfection is uh is an intention. It's not it it's really unattainable. Uh, you know, uh I I like to I like to think that those who are perfectionists can't really find happiness because none of us is perfect. I want to just mention one thing, Michael, before we go on. You uh you mentioned this a couple of times just now about sp how you spend your time. How the word spending came up in terms of uh of of uh how you deal in real estate. And I think that you you have to change the the language and you know the words that you use are very empowering uh or or the opposite for that matter. Um and I think the word better is invest. How do you invest your time? Because anything that you're doing, I think has to deal with time. It has to do with investing it, because you're really you're you're you're seeking a result and a return. And and just like uh anything that you uh whether it be money or time or personal energy, it's an investment because that's all you have in life is is is what it is really your time. And it's you know, as Rocky said, it's undefeated when uh when when the when the Pollard's kid said what got him, he said, time is undefeated. And as I'm getting older, I'm realizing that making everyday count. We say that all the time. You say it, you know, your coaches say it, but making everyday count uh is really uh important because truly I learned this from someone else, but this is not a dress rehearsal. It isn't gonna be okay when. It's gonna be okay today. This is now, and we're living in this moment, and everything that happened is to learn from, and everything that's gonna happen in the future is really in God's hands, and we just have to make the most of what we have because we are on this uh in this world as we are now for a very short time. In a hundred years, it's all new people.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

I love I mean, that's this week Asaf said Asaf said to himself or to Yaakov when he was thinking about buying the birthright, and he said, uh, why do I need all this? Uh I almost I'm I'm gonna die. And all of this is meaningless, but the way that you see it, dad, and a way some of the Bali Musar, the great thinkers see it, is that time being limited, Asaf saw that as a reason to give up and a reason to forsake. But right, the the you're saying the opposite, that time being limited should not depress. Time being limited, if I'm getting this right, should inspire action. Is that what you're saying? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:31

I would I would think that's a really good way to say it. Look, you know, Michael, when you talk about time management, you can just start with nobody, no matter what you have, who you are, you get 168 hours in a week. That's it. And how you use them, a certain amount you're gonna sleep, a certain amount you're gonna get yourself ready for your day, a certain amount of time you're gonna dive in. Not all of those, not in the particular order. So what is it that you're gonna do with the rest of your time? You could map it out. I mean, there are people who do. I don't, I don't. I I I have uh I have a uh a daily rhythm uh that I try to tweak in terms of uh of being more effective. But a lot of that has being more effective has to do with uh keeping your mind sharp as best you can. God willing, you have a sharp mind. Some of us don't, as we talked about recently, but uh having a sharp mind means getting the right amount of rest. And it also and and not too much rest. You know, we talked about when you take a test that you shouldn't sleep too much the night before, that you wake up with a with a certain you need to eat right. You know, eating right has a has an effect on that. What you what you consume is part of how your health will be going forward, uh, notwithstanding the unforeseen of of things that can happen. So uh, you know, those those are all part of your day and your time. So, where is time management? What what's your question about time management? So let's let's break it down.

The 168-Hour Week And Daily Rhythm

SPEAKER_00 6:02

Let's break it down all the way, see if we can uh get the most clarity. Let's talk about a situation just totally um it's it's an imaginary situation. It's totally made up. But let's say you're 28. And let's say you have three kids, two girls and one boy.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

Sounds like one of us right now.

SPEAKER_00 6:23

I didn't know you're that young, Dad. And let's say you want to get your family out of a basement and into a respectable house. Let's say you want to advance your career to get that done, to get paid, and you also want to learn Torah for a serious amount of time, and you also want to hang out with your kids for the right amount of time. How how does a man balance all that? Well, how do you look at that? What would you advise that person to do?

SPEAKER_01 6:57

Well, I think the first thing is to understand that all of those things can take as much time as you're going to give it. And all of them together, based on what you just described, are gonna take more than you have. The more time than you have. It's just you the so so when you talk about the the things, and and by the way, you didn't say anything about Michael. You didn't say anything about about uh or what what's the the imaginary Michael?

SPEAKER_00 7:28

The guy fellow.

A Young Parent’s Balancing Act

SPEAKER_01 7:30

Right. But you know, the the the part of part of uh uh of of well-being is taking care of yourself to some extent. So there's gotta be some time in there. Um I think uh I think it's sometimes it's a bit of trial and error, you know, but but the but priorities take effect here, you know, values take effect. Uh sometimes that's a good a good way to do that is to create uh a direction, an overall direction of what you're trying to accomplish in your year would be a good thing to do. You know, we we make an LL plan, we look at our year and we say this is where we want to be when we when when when Rosh Hashanah comes around next year, we make that plan and and try to live into that direction. And none of it's perfect, but if you know, if you look up uh what what all of the different things are, I think it the the basis of it comes down to values. Um you know, and and as far as as trying to accomplish, you know, you you're you're really um the all the things that are are ideal for what you're trying to do, the the the bigger house, the for for your growing family, your your uh your your dedication to the investment that you've made so far in Torah learning and to keep that up and also to follow your obligations to lead your family in Torah and to uh and to and to teach your children uh is primary to you. So how much how much you dedicate to that comes down to focus uh because of the limited amount of time. As far as your career in real estate, one the imaginary real estate career ideal, I think it comes down to priorities. You can't do every deal. For every hundred deals you look at, you might do one, two. And uh and so it becomes a matter of qualifying your time. Um, I really think that that's an important thing. So uh one of the things that I've suggested in time, you know, over time with with you particularly, but others is is is everything that you see that cause call that calls to you as being a possibility in where you're gonna invest your come your your your professional time, uh you can just make an Excel spreadsheet out of it. You can, you know, that'll keep uh keep you without having to have your mind race on each one, and then you can pick where the priority is. I I tend to I took a test when I started in real estate, you know, I'm interviewing for this corporate position, and uh and I really wanted and I had good good references and I got this really cool job as a property manager with the largest real estate commercial real estate company. I was really happy. I I loved it, and and it was really an exciting place to be. It was just really uh every day I would have these tingly feelings. I haven't had them in a while, but they were it was so brand new that uh that I loved it so much. But uh they said, if you want to take this test, and I'm of course I'm gonna take the test. And it came out in the test that he hates doing details. I don't think they use the word hates, but the result of the all of this exam of of of questions uh that related to what uh what I thought about anything is this or that kind of question, came out that the thing I remember the most was he doesn't like doing details, but he'll do enough details to make sure the deal gets done. So I I always took that as a as a spark for knowing that when I'm focusing on an end result, and we talked about this. Any deal that you work and you continue to work, you have a chance of being successful at it, a good chance of being successful at it. You can't just let it come to you. You have to continue to plow forward. It's the tortoise uh view of things. You know, the tortoise just kept plowing ahead one step. It was it's like it's almost like being a Balchuva, uh, in that, you know, every growth process takes a step, be that as it may. Um so if there's something that looks like it has legs, the next step is the next step. And the result has to do with the effort that you put into that next step. If there's no next step, if there's no, if there's no legs to it, you know that there's no legs to it, and you have to move on to the next thing. I think that's really how you're gonna figure out how to get to closing because you could work on a hundred things at one time and and and be excited and interesting. And I'm so busy, but busy doesn't get closing, and closing doesn't until it's closes, it doesn't get paid. Right. Getting paid, the betting, but yes, you said something about the most important thing in real estate. I really think getting paid would probably be right up there as the number one thing.

SPEAKER_00 12:23

All right. We have a whole we're gonna have to dedicate a whole episode to the the gray area that's between closing and actually getting paid and having the money show up in the account.

SPEAKER_01 12:34

That would be a good idea.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

I I had I asked Rabbi Stein, my Rosh Hai Shiva, the venerable Rosh Shiva of base measures Torah's chesed. I asked him a similar question that I just posed to you about making the most of time and all the different responsibilities. At that point, it wasn't a question of uh Torah study, family, and business. It was more just between Torah study and family. Before when life is, you know, really simple when you're learning in Kolo. And um I asked him the question how do I have more time? How do I make sense of all this? He said, There's plenty of time. You just wake up so late. You wake up at seven or eight o'clock. That's super late. You want to learn? Get up at five o'clock, and you'll have plenty of time to learn. So I was looking for.

SPEAKER_01 13:29

Yeah, I had a friend once that said, You want to play racquetball? An older friend, a guy really looked up to you. This goes back a while ago. Yeah, I'll play racquetball. I love that. Uh, you know, especially want to hang out with this guy. He's really cool. He said, Okay, we'll uh we'll we'll start at seven o'clock Sunday morning. I said, Seven o'clock? That's really early. I mean, uh, you know, at that point I was sleeping late. He goes, Well, you can't get anything done while you're sleeping.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

Is is death. That's what Rabbi Stein says, sleep is death. Which he's he he's not making that up, also, right? Sleep is one-sixtieth of death, I think, something like that.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

Okay, you still need to get good rest.

SPEAKER_00 14:06

You still gotta get good rest. Well, that when we were driving to to um I don't know where we were. I may we may I may have been engaged to your daughter at the time. Maybe we were traveling. We're traveling in the in the blue Lexus hybrid. Might have been going out to play golf, maybe. You but I still remember it clearly. You told me some formula on your on your hand about five different things that you could spend your time on.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

Yeah, we just went through that. We went, yeah, we w we just sort of went through that. We it's basically. What is the five? I thought we did three. I think it's your family, your Torah, uh God connection, your your business, um, your house, and you.

SPEAKER_00 14:57

Me, right, you. That also needs a little bit of Yeah, I I would not uh you can't give that up. The today I was running around dad to sometimes you gotta you gotta pop by do a drive-thru and pick up some food from from Isle 9 and live on a roll of sushi, and you gotta sometimes you're not home for dinner and you gotta take care of everything, and it feels like you're juggling a lot. But Dad, I have a random question for you. How did you decide to get into real estate at the very beginning of your career? How come you didn't just become a lawyer or a doctor? Or what did your did your dad guide you that way?

SPEAKER_01 16:54

My father was a dentist, thought I could be one. I I I when I was playing soccer in high school, I I I was a uh I was on the varsity soccer team. So I during during it wasn't soccer season, I I worked with him for a little bit and he called me in to help him as an assistant and extract a wisdom tooth. And I'm sitting there, you know, and he's cutting into this guy's face, and ah, and and I'm seeing blood. And he goes, You gotta look at it and you gotta hold a suction right there. At that point, I called in his assistant, Holly, Holly, she comes in to relieve me. And it was at that moment that I couldn't have been a dentist. My sister, who is a dentist, said to my father, Daddy, uh, what if he would have been a bad dentist? She he goes, Oh, he wouldn't have been a bad dentist, I'm telling you. I I ran away from that uh pretty quickly. I just uh wasn't that focused. And and really uh in in college, uh you would have had to uh to become a dentist, you would have had to study certain sciences, chemistry, and so on. I was more into uh uh a social environment in college. I I I uh at the University of Maryland, I chaired uh a dance marathon for the benefit of the Cancer Society. I was uh president of my fraternity. I really I was a social animal. I got very involved in campus politics and uh and and and uh student activities and and group dynamics, things like that. That was really something. So why real estate?

SPEAKER_00 18:22

So why'd you do real estate?

Career Origin: From Dentistry To Deals

SPEAKER_01 18:23

Why'd you say so then I uh politics is brutal in a blood sport, and I'm really a I'm really a sweet, nice guy. So uh that's not for me either. But and everything's politics, by the way. Family is politics, it's politics of the family as well. But um what happened was when I graduated college, uh it was uh it was I I I graduated in four and a half years. Uh that last semester was a ton of fun. And I came out in December and got my diploma, and I started uh looking at what I was gonna do the next year. And we thought about law school, and I applied to a bunch of them. I didn't get in. I probably didn't have the grades. My LSAT scores weren't in the high level. And to get into law school, you have to have grades, LSATs, and and really, they also look at money because when you graduate, they want you to donate to the university, all the uh to the law school. And none of those played out, and uh, and and uh I just wasn't that into it. I'm not that studious in that way. While I'm doing that, a close friend of the family said, you know, I was talking to my real estate leasing agent, and he said he really needs some help. Why don't you call him up? So I called him up and he said, you know, come in and see me. He said, you know what? Really, no, you need to see my boss. So he gets me the meeting with his with this guy, Bob Trundle, pretty cool guy. That's the guy who gave me the test that told me that I don't like to do details enough, but I'll do enough to get the deal done. And Trundle gives me the uh, tells me, look, uh, you know, that really uh the job is in property management. Go over and meet with uh John Millar. John Millar was head of property management of this big company, and he was a he was a patient of my father's and really liked me and gave me the job in property management. That's a short way of how I got into it. And uh then from there I got into the leasing department for about a year and decided that I wanted to go into sales. So I went into sales, I made a my first really big commission uh in a sale of a big warehouse building to a family friend, a close family friend. Um uh that was a story that is for an it's a great story. And uh in and I will tell you that the that when it came time to this is a family friend, and they went to get financing. I really just have to tell you this one thing. When uh when we went to get financing, the financing process is a process that I was learning, and the the timing of it did not align with the seller's desire to close, especially after this due diligence period was over. And he said, I'm gonna kill the contract. Well, the family that was gonna buy it had the money. So I said, okay, so I go to another family friend, very wealthy, all of these people you know, Michael, and I said, they need to borrow money for a year, maybe two. And it would be an interest-only deal. The guy says, Okay, I'll loan him the money. How he the way that that got negotiated is a different part of the story. But the we agree on the deal, and I go and they give me a cashier's check. I'll remember this for$1,700,000 cashier's check to give to our friend, the closing attorney. So it's all friends except for the seller.

SPEAKER_00 21:38

And that's the loan, that's the loan to help close the that's the loan to help close the channel.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

That's the purchase money loan. The family had the equity money, all the money for the closing, everything's signed. And I walk in with this check to to the attorney's office, who's a friend of all of us, and I say, Here's the money. And they said, Did you hear about your commission? I go, What about my commission? He goes, Well, they want you to take$10,000 less. Oh, now I'm standing there with the close. Uh, I'm I'm standing there with this is real money for me at age 26. And I said, Um, well, uh, I'm gonna I'm holding the check. All the papers are signed. No one's at the closing except me and the lawyer. And I'm standing in his office and he goes, Kevin, what do you want to do? I said, I don't want to do anything. I'm I'm holding the closing right here. He said, Well, take my office and decide what you want to do. I call my boss. My boss goes, Well, just walk out. I go, walk out aware. I'm standing in here by myself with the money. She starts laughing. She goes, she goes, Don't take anything less. Don't take anything less. And he said, He and the seller eventually said, uh, it's not you, it's your, you know, you're it's he had another couple of reasons that he wanted to deal with it because it had to do with his relationship with someone else in my company. Anyway, I ended out getting paid. So, you know, you never know what somebody would.

SPEAKER_00 23:04

Did you get the dad? Did you get the what's the end of the story? Did you you you said no and then he gave you the number you wanted for the commission?

SPEAKER_01 23:10

Yeah, well, the number that was in the that was in the contract. Everything got sold exactly as it was supposed to be signed. He was just trying to trying to beat me at the end. So anyway, um, yeah, so that's a that's a lesson in knowing that nobody really wants you to get paid unless they're making money because you're getting paid. But that's for a different story. That's for a different story. So anyway, so I went into sales, and then uh after a while it became apparent to me that I wasn't going anywhere else in this company, and I went into business for myself. It reminds me of one quick story that I've been thinking about this week, namely for a number of business matters that I've been dealing with. Back where I worked at this company, it was called Goodman Seeger Hogan. It was the biggest commercial real estate in Virginia. They had management contract or contracts on malls all over the place. They had all the top agents. It was really something that was really dealing with the top players in in the real estate industry at that time. And I was I was green and and and so on. And anyway, so when I first got in there, you say you were green? Green meaning brand new. I was, you know, I was a rookie. I thought you were thought I thought like you you were nauseous. It's a no, it's a uh metaphor. Anyway, so Mr. Hogan, Hunter Hogan, an old Virginia guy, did business with all the Jews in town, all of my father's friends. My their their kids still still tell stories with me about what deal Hunter brought and what deal they did with him. And I I knew him a long time after I met him this day. But he calls me into his office, he's chairman of the board, and I'm, you know, I'm I'm all starry-eyed and everything. And I sit down and I go, hi, Mr. Hogan. It's so nice to meet you. He goes, Kevin, and he talked to me for a little while, but this part of the story is just memorable. He goes, Kevin, I just want to tell you something. When you go into business for yourself, I go, no, no, Mr. Hogan, I love it here. I'm gonna be here for the rest of my life. He goes, like I said, when you go into business for yourself, you uh you gotta know that this is a crisis business every single day. It's a crisis one after the other. And I'm gonna tell you, it is so much fun. I have fun with it every single day, and I just love it. And I'm going, and so you know, on days where every where where you know everything's imploding, you know, the the the the guy makes a last minute change to the contract, the plumbing thing needs to be handled, and uh and and somebody doesn't show up when they're supposed to, and you go, Oh, this is a crisis, just like he talked about, and I'm having so much fun, right? Anyway, uh, but that was uh that was memorable for me.

SPEAKER_00 25:48

I'm smiling thinking about it. Yeah. You do a really good uh Southern Southern accent.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

Well, Hunter was uh was a was a very uh a very uh uh there's no words to describe, I'm one of a kind.

SPEAKER_00 26:02

So you got started in so let's say we're we really we can talk about the best way to get started in real estate just for a minute here. You didn't you didn't go to college for it, you just took a property management job?

SPEAKER_01 26:13

Uh I did, but you know, every business has to do with some sort of uh uh relationship. We started that that as a basis for starting a business. Uh and and uh and and property management is a good way to start because you learn about what's in real property. Uh the, you know, it's not just the land, it's not just the the the foundation, you get into all of the mechanics of the roof and the the plumbing, the electricity, the the the interior walls, the thing, different parts of it, what needs to be managed. You got to collect rent and you know, you gotta go into the guy's office and collect the rent because Mr. Dickinson's calling going, why is this guy behind? You got to go in there and you go into his his little shop on on Gramby Street, and he's a little old man running and he's got a gun in his pocket because he needs to make sure that nothing bad happens to him. And you got to tell him, you know, I got I need$200, and he goes, I want to give it to you in cash, and I don't take cash, you know, that kind of thing. So it was uh it was so property management was a good a good angle to start out in, uh, just as far as building a foundation for understanding what real estate is. And then, you know, then you have to, you know, the vet the leasing was good because leases create value in income-producing properties, and that's how you understand how those values come about to be able to figure out how to buy and sell property and analyze what kind of return on your investment.

Crisis Business And Loving The Game

SPEAKER_00 27:39

Interesting. And now that there's no, there's no excuse. There's really two different types of education that I've discovered in all of one week in real estate uh since I've signed at Imperial. But before that, I had 75 hours worth of education via the Alexander Institute for Real Estate Education online 75-hour uh course. And I could tell you all about um the Sherman, the antitrust uh acts and what radon is and what mold is and when the lead-based paint and all these, all these quiz questions. But then all of a sudden I get out there and I knock on a door and say, hey, you want to sell your house? There's no questions on the test, and there's no there's no tips for negotiating better and understanding how people uh want to do business and actually getting the hands-on education. It's like two different worlds the real education, and then there's the course education, which kind of is a little bit of nourish kite. You've stepped into a whole new world, my friend. Dad, do you ever get messed over? Did you ever get messed over pretty bad in business? Several times.

SPEAKER_01 28:51

You do this. I think that everybody runs into it. You know, the but I was saying, and I know you're at a hard stop here, so I don't wanna I don't want to take too much. We can pick up anytime you want, but you know, the the the people I say to you that the people who want you to make money in real estate are the ones who are going to in any business really is that they're gonna make money when you make money. When you make money, you're making money for them. They're okay with you getting paid. Otherwise, they don't want you to get paid. They want them to get paid. That's the business model itself. And no matter how uh you tend to believe them, it's you can run into that guy. And the guy you really want to do business with is the one who says, protect yourself. The guy who straight up says that to you, because at least he's telling you the truth. But, you know, the guy who says, Oh, don't worry about it, I'll take care of you. Um, and even the guy who really wants to take care of you and say, you know, we're gonna do this together, we're gonna win, at the end of the day, you know, when it comes down to splitting up the money, how much are you really gonna get? You know, so that's why I think you have to get most of what it is that uh really anything that you deal that you're gonna make. You just need to write it down because if he says it, why didn't he sign it?

SPEAKER_00 30:09

You know? Oh, I love it. I love it. It was I just did when I was sell uh selling uh what was I selling like a safer to somebody, something really small. It's a big business transaction in my life. I think it was selling, he was selling an old phone or an old kosher phone or something, maybe a hundred dollars. And and I happened to come into the Chavitzchayim wrote anytime you do any business, he said exactly like that. Just write it down. Just write it down because people forget people and a year later, hey, did I ever pay you for that? Or you still owe me for that? It's a mistake, but it's he says, write everything down. And uh Ramchal also says, money's sticky. It's money's sticky, it sticks. I want to make you money, but it's kind of sticking in my hand.

Real Education Versus Course Education

SPEAKER_01 30:52

Yeah, and in the in the end, I mean the where I've gotten messed over the most is you know, uh trusting that what I'm doing for somebody will get repaid. Uh and it it it doesn't it doesn't work like that. And you know, some people are happy enough to give you advice for free. They're willing to uh they're willing to um uh they're willing to uh you know to maintain that part of the relationship. They're they're willing to let you solve their problems and not pay you. They're willing to do all of those things. And, you know, the the the players who say at the beginning, this is what my fee is. Do you want to work with me? And those are usually professionals that you have the most respect for. You know, my architect, he tells me what it is. My my engineer, he tells me what it is. He makes sure that I agree that. And he sends me a form in writing telling me this is what it's going to be. And if it's any change in that, I will let you know. And uh to a person that usually works out. So uh I tend to believe people who tell me up front what I'm doing and write it down and send it over to me and say, This is the this is the scope of work that I'm gonna perform for you. And I often not often, but I have done that. And the only time I'm I'm sure I'm gonna get paid, I'm sure what I'm gonna get paid is when I'm controlling the the transaction myself. Uh otherwise I need that in writing. And you know, and and and some of the people closest to me have hurt me the most. So Oh, that man, whoa. But uh so you have to be careful, you do.

SPEAKER_00 32:25

I asked my I asked before I before I married your daughter, I had a conversation with re Rev Elia Bridney. I don't think I told this to anybody, so now I'm gonna let this be public. But I basically, when I was young, I I was getting really sick. And I don't know if you remember this, I lost like 10 pounds. And and it came clear after I got an endoscopy that I had indigestion. And I was always a little nervous about it. Indigestion, sometimes it bothers me, you know, it's chronic, it could even be genetic. All these different things were going around my head. I called him, I said, before I get engaged, do I need to tell my wife? Like, do I need to reveal that like I may have some sort of weird genetic, chronic uh indigestion problem? And just just a similar question, like you had, but in a different scenario of just up front, dude, should I be frank? Should I be honest and tell somebody, you know, what's good or how much it's gonna cost or what's bad? And he told me, I'll never forget it. We were on the phone, Ravelia Bruni, the great rabbi of Yeshiva in Brooklyn.

SPEAKER_01 33:26

Yeah, yeah, I've heard that.

SPEAKER_00 33:27

He said, he said, he said, you probably don't have to necessarily reveal it. It's not something that can, you know, alter or break a marriage. But he said, you're gonna be standing underneath the chuppa, and it's gonna be the moment of your life. And if you have something that she doesn't know about you, you'll be less present and less excited. Don't you want to enjoy the moment fully? So just tell her, hey, sometimes I burp because I got indigestion and it'll make you he didn't say it like that. But it was some of the best advice I ever got. And my wife loves me, even though I have indigestion.

Get It In Writing And Get Paid

SPEAKER_01 34:01

Why why not? You know, uh it's better, it's better to uh it's better to answer all the questions you can in every situation, you know. They they uh they say uh I've heard this because I do have a daughter in Shedukamen, and uh, you know, I'm I'm reading I'm hearing different ways of how these Shedukimen get read, and and uh you know the the resume goes around. I go, does anybody put on the resume what it's like when I have a bad day? Like does everybody, you know? And they don't, by the way, you know. Oh, really? What what's it like when you're thinking low? You know, because everybody does. So uh, you know, it's better it's better to be able to reveal yourself. But you you know, at the beginning of any relationship, things are really sweet. You grow together. That's really what I think is uh is is the power of of uh of our our our way of uh of getting married and and growing up and and um I think that's good. Michael, I know that you have a hard stop. There's been a good talk, and I'm looking forward to the next one if you'd like to do it.

SPEAKER_00 35:04

Dad, I could talk to you forever, even though there's my yeshiva's moving into the new building and I want to go dance with everybody. I'm still dancing when you get there. I'd rather stay and talk here for a little bit until the next one.

SPEAKER_01 35:17

Well, you can do that anytime. I hope that uh those who are listening to it get something from it. I always do, and uh it's good to talk to you, pal. Have a great night, Dad. You too. Take care.

SPEAKER_00 35:28

And cut. 35 minutes. Dad, this is so much fun. Is that too long? Is that a long that's a long time? I I I'd rather do it for this so I can cut out three or four minutes here or there and make it more fun to be able to edit out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:44

Yeah, don't don't do don't uh don't make it too long because then people won't come. All right, boys. Go enjoy your time. Talk to you later. All right, bye.