Networking Mastery: The Stop Spamming, Start Schmoozing Blueprint

Want to build a network that actually calls you back? We dive into the art of showing up, serving first, and letting trust do the heavy lifting. From the thrill of a first house showing to decades of deal-making wisdom, we unpack why real relationships beat mass outreach every time.

We contrast the quick hit of blasting emails with the deeper, slower path that starts with service. Volunteering in your community, attending simchas, and being present at conferences creates bonds that outlast trends. You’ll hear how a quiet hour with a prospect can be more powerful than a polished pitch, and why the simplest ratio—two ears, one mouth—turns conversations into insight. Presence matters: energy in a room can’t be replicated by a screen, and consistency over time becomes your reputation.

Along the way, we share practical tactics you can use now. Prioritize a few, meaningful in-person meetings over dozens of cold messages. Follow up with something specific and helpful within 24 hours. Treat every project as a partnership, whether you sit on the same side of the table or not. Build trust through details, pay attention to the small promises, and let your word be your calling card. If you’re ready to trade spam for substance and become the person people are excited to work with, this conversation will help you reset your approach and find the rooms that change your life.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Opening Banter And Life Updates
• 4:30 Episode 3 And First House Showing
• 6:50 Framing The Topic: Networking
• 10:40 Service Over Self In Networking
• 15:30 Conferences, Character, And Trust

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 1:35

Hi there, Dad. What's going on? My favorite time of day, my favorite time in the entire week is when I get 20 minutes between obligation number one, which is drop off, and obligation number two, which is uh learning at the yeshiva in the morning and fighting with the Bakram and Torah and getting their phones, making sure that they don't have any illicit technology in the yeshiva. But I'm not doing that. That little sliver in the middle where I get to talk to you, Dad, is the best time of my entire week. Well, we can uh you you can always add on. What's it on tap for you today, Sir Lefko, Mr. Pop? Well, I'm gonna go play golf. I'm gonna do that.

SPEAKER_00: 2:19

Uh I'm gonna learn while I'm playing golf. I mean, I'm gonna download a clo uh sheer uh probably Rabbi Wine on uh on Parsha's uh Vayetse and uh consider the latter.

SPEAKER_01: 2:35

That is is is about Olomhaba and Olamazat playing golf with Torah and the earbuds. But Wine all of a shalom is Nishama Shahavinalyah. And when you're finished with Rabbi Wine share, don't forget to listen to the Motivation Congregation podcast, the number one Torah and Musar WhatsApp status and podcast. I think it's a good plan. I'll do that. Blee netter. Dad, today is a very exciting day. Do you know why? We woke up because it's episode three of the Hesse Vankinian podcast. Uh-huh. Another highlight. And we're trending on 24-6. I don't know what that means, but we are trending. Yay. Go to and it's exciting because I have my first house showing later today at 6 15 p.m. That's great. I love the excitement.

SPEAKER_00: 3:29

It's really good. No, no. I I I'm really excited for you, you know. It's uh it's a good step, but you know.

SPEAKER_01: 3:36

It's a it's uh it's a step. It's interesting that there's a lot of different uh people are all say they want to do real estate or they're in real estate. Um I don't know why they would want to get into real estate in a market like this right now, at least in New Jersey. But it's there's a million and a half different things you can do in real estate. And and probably my uh my job at selling houses to primary residences to people is a little bit different than you spend your day in the real estate profession.

SPEAKER_00: 4:06

But be it as a I'm at I'm at a different stage in my career. You're like on month one and I'm in year 42. It's uh you know, there's been a little bit of road difference between where you are and where I am in my career.

SPEAKER_01: 4:20

God, well, we should all be well to get there, and we should all look and be like you when we're there. Dad, I want to talk to you today about networking. Because we started off.

SPEAKER_00: 4:30

You can, but really, uh, you know, last uh episode was about time management, it seems to me, just based on what we just talked about. Time management probably needs a little bit more time of of uh consideration. Just saying.

SPEAKER_01: 4:47

Well, it's a process. It's a process. Of course. Um so now everyone will know that the custom in Kelm was never to teach Torah that you haven't mastered yourself. Uh that's not our custom here. Our custom here is to teach wisdom uh or you give over the information even if we have yet to master it by ourselves.

SPEAKER_00: 5:08

Rov Noah Weinberg, I'll of Shalom uh said, if you know Olive, teach Olive. I mean, so I love that.

SPEAKER_01: 5:17

I love that. I love that. And and the secret is, I want to get into the episode here, but so much of the secret is is the right, the teacher always ends up gaining more than the student. Almost always. And this teacher has to know it backwards and forwards and not kid himself and be able to teach it. And if the person's gonna teach Aleph, he's gotta know the Aleph backwards and forwards and olive ah, commuts, ah, all that stuff. Dad, in networking, there is a big uh question as to all the ways that we can connect with people and different prospective uh business alliances. You could do it through the internet, or you could do it the old-fashioned way. What are your thoughts about that? Do you see you should the networking via the internet as uh a little bit quicker, as more value, or are you uh walk in to the room, shake the man in the hands and say good morning to him type of networker?

SPEAKER_00: 6:18

I once had a golf coach who uh when I would take a lesson with him, he'd say, Okay, let's go hit a few balls. Put uh get the club you want to hit, put it in your hand, take a few swings. So I would. And he and the first thing he would do would be he would say, I like this and this. The first thing he would do is say this about your stance and grip looks good, before he would ever say what needed to be corrected. The reason I give you that is because uh the the first step uh of empowerment is to find out what's good and right. What what works before you make an adjustment to the rest of it. It's a higher thinking type of thing. So I'll tell you that I am more old-fashioned when I uh when I think about networking as you describe it, it comes down to service. You know, if you have uh issues that your challenges that you're dealing with, Michael, you know, whatever it is, uh we all have 'em. Uh it doesn't matter which one it is, pick one. That if if that thinking gets into your your your your being of the day, it it can affect you in possibly not the most empowering way. But when you're serving someone in some way, that all goes out the window. You forget completely about the challenges. You're helping someone else. And when that happens, you're creating that relationship. And one other thing, people want to hear themselves talk. They don't necessarily want to hear what you have to say. I had a friend who was in the business of uh selling investment products. I mean, you know, insurance and mutual funds, whatever. And he got a meeting with somebody who was pretty wealthy. He said he met with them for an hour, didn't say three words, and another day later, one of his friends called him up and said, Hey man, that guy loves you, thinks you're the greatest guy in the world. He goes, How does he know? You know. So I think that networking comes down to service. And the thing that I don't uh that doesn't ring with me when someone tells me what they're doing, they go, Well, I sent out a whole bunch of emails. And uh, but did you pick up the phone? Did you try to make the meeting? Uh those are the things that that would be the swing thought that we have to adjust. That's how networking's gonna happen. So serving other people, there's a bunch of ways to do that. There's a bunch of ways to do that. You can start with with Hutsella and uh and and or or or taking a meal to somebody for Shabbos Dinner that just had a baby. You know, any of these things. Serving other people gets you in the place of starting a network. There you go.

SPEAKER_01: 9:22

So it's such it's an entirely different um outlook on it, where networking and the way we started the conversation is how can I get people to do business with me? And the way you're you're framing it now is what can I do to serve the other person? And let's create a relationship and really care about him and and maybe attend uh a meeting with him and actually reach out and how now I'm serving him as opposed to the other way around.

SPEAKER_00: 9:50

There's also different conference type of things, but so so you you can go to the uh Project Inspire conference in uh in Connecticut. We've done that, and there's you know, I don't know how many hundreds of people go to it, a lot. And you make relationships in there. So people get to know your energy and the way that you are, and then you can call them and and and find different ways to connect later. Uh, you know, to to be in a in in a program uh where you know you're the guy that people are trying to get hold of, and they and my friend Fred is sitting at lunch with me, and a guy knows who he is. He comes in and he's starting to try to figure out how to do business with Fred before he even knows who Fred is. When I say who he is, it's not about what he does, but who he is. So I think that that matters. And then what happens is when people begin to believe that you'll stand by your word, that you're not gonna cheat them, that you're gonna uh you know, that you're gonna pay attention to the details of what gets the deal done, they believe in you. And a business relationship uh sometimes is you know is is is not exactly the warmest thing because you're playing a game. Some people play it different than others. So who do you want to be partners with in any type of relationship? And a partnership is not necessarily uh not necessarily a limited partnership or an LLC. I'm talking about when you're working with somebody, whether you have uh, you know, whether you're on different sides of the table or not, you're partners in a way. You're partners for a project to succeed. So totally, totally. But that makes sense because I'm starting, you know, I'm starting to think about how that works myself.

SPEAKER_01: 11:45

It it totally makes sense. One way is the hard way, one way is the easy way. The easy way is just to shoot out uh you know 5,000 mass emails. Hey, this is me, this is what I'm doing, do you want to do business? And then there's the hard way.

SPEAKER_00: 12:00

I'm not reading those emails. I'm not reading those emails, Michael. I mean, I'll look at them, you know, that they're there, but I mean I have I have I have to delete tons of emails that come from the same person with the same message. I haven't talked to them, they haven't called me.

SPEAKER_01: 12:16

Ah, interesting. Interesting. Well, I got enough email to work on without reading yours. I guess I'll stop sending you my my uh listings and showings.

SPEAKER_00: 12:28

It's a metaphor as well, Michael, and you and I are in a different place than that. But but you know, you're not gonna get my attention with just an email. If it makes some sense, I'll look at it a little longer. But a deal coming to me from an email is not necessarily gonna be such a good deal. Uh, you know, it's kind of like you gotta dig it out and find out where there's a there's a unique uh aspect to it that that that has an upside that makes the risk worth it. Then people get interested in that story.

SPEAKER_01: 13:00

You have uh you have this um long-standing adage, uh words of wisdom, that is to quip of sorts that you gotta be in the room. That's a room you gotta be in. What do you mean when you say that? Maybe you can explain to the audience that of your uh age-old, timeless adage of Michael, you gotta be in that room, go get in that room.

SPEAKER_00: 13:24

Well, age-old and timeless, if it is, it's something that I borrowed from someone else. So I'll uh defer on where that comes from. Your energy is different in person. I was listening to uh uh a sheer by Revgov uh Gavril Friedman, and he talked about having given a class at some point, and his wife was there. She heard the class, it was a great class. And uh later on she listened to it again on the uh the podcast, and she said, It's is that the same class? The exact same words. Rabbi Wine Alashalm used to say the same thing that while Zoom or was it was a great uh opportunity to maintain contact and sh and teaching ability uh during COVID, it's not the same as being in the same room. The energy of who you are, how people act, people respond, changes with personal energy than it does through a phone, through uh an email, through Zoom. Uh and so you have to put yourself in there. And when you do, your energy is so strong, especially you, Michael. You know, you come into the room and the the the aura of Michael Brooke just you know fills the whole thing up.

SPEAKER_01: 14:46

No, you don't mean it, Dad.

SPEAKER_00: 14:48

You don't mean that. Ask anybody. You know, it's hard to see you can't see yourself the way other people see you, that's for sure. You can none of us can. None of us.

SPEAKER_01: 14:59

The the I you also have another custom. I wonder if it's connected to all this. You're flying and driving and training and busing all over the world to go to people's simchos. How come you how come you do that? Every time I talk to you in another city going to some guy's boss mitzvah or guys' bas mitzvah, girls' bas mitzvah or someone's pidy na ben. How come you travel so much to go to every simcha? Is that part of your networking plan? That was an inappropriate question. Not part of your networking.

SPEAKER_00: 15:25

No, no, no, no, no. Right. I follow the the the the overall idea. No, I think it's a result of it. Um when when when I'm involved in relationship with someone, uh you know, A Sha Tara is a is a is a is is very important to me. World H Global, very important to me. I've invested myself in a lot of different ways in that, and and I've made a a world network of friends through my travels with H, through my travels with Rabbi Wine, uh, and uh and investing myself in programs that are are that are related to that and my learning. And so what happens is is the connection becomes so deep through those things that the opportunity to share in Simca, which is the is the one place in in the world in life where the Yat Sahara has very, very little power, if any. I've heard that at a simpa uh at a Sudas mitzvah, the Yet Sahara has no power. Oh right. And so it's indeed, but so so to and and and there are there are a lot of other things that we could be doing with our day that are not sympathetic, but what's what's life for? We're we're only we I said it last week. We're we're it's not a dress rehearsal. This is today, and it's the only today we've got. So we gotta make the most of it, and it's not gonna be okay when this works out, when there's an opening, when that deal closes. It's not then. It's it's now. And so that's how I see it. It's a it's a it's a return on the investment rather than being an investment.

SPEAKER_01: 17:22

I I want to ask you, I what's the world's biggest mistake in networking? What are some myths about networking? What are some different ways to be able to connect with people that really want to do business in a large way or significant players? But I'm pulling up at this meeting number one.

SPEAKER_00: 17:43

This is this is very simple, and we can end with this. And if you want to add on uh to it another time or have the next podcast, we can go on to it. But the answer to that is very simple and it's an easy ratio. We ready? Two ears, one mouth, get the ratio. I love it.

SPEAKER_01: 18:02

Let just let that let that just hang there in the air for everyone, yeah. Listen more than you taught. Love it. That's it. And on that note, I'll see you next Wednesday, Dad, for episode four. I hope you hit them straight. I hope you get a lot of birdies, maybe even an eagle.

SPEAKER_00: 18:20

And I hope that you're successful in all that you do today. Go get them, champ. Have a great day. See y'all.

SPEAKER_01: 18:26

Bye dad.

SPEAKER_00: 18:26

Bye.