Acting, Motherhood, And Trusting Life's Timing - With Mekia Cox

In this episode, I sit down with actress and friend Mekia Cox to talk about building a career in the entertainment industry—and navigating the highs, lows, and many emotions of a creative life.

Mekia and I met backup dancing for Michael Jackson, and she has since gone on to have an incredible career! 

We discuss her character Nyla Harper on The Rookie, and talk about the audition process as well as on set experiences. Mekia shares her stories of trusting that the right roles will find their way to you.

We also talk about motherhood, balance, and the practical tools she uses to reset and keep moving forward.

If you’re an actor, dancer, or creative navigating auditions, casting, and consistency, this conversation will leave you feeling steadier, clearer, and inspired. 

Keep up with Mekia on IG here: https://www.instagram.com/mekiacox/

Thank you so much for being here. If you feel called to, please follow Essence Embodied, share the show with someone who needs it, and leave a rating or review so more listeners can discover these conversations. 

You can keep up with Tyne on instagram here:

https://www.instagram.com/tynestecklein?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr 

Join Tyne's email list here: https://shy-band-100.myflodesk.com/mrxyszsu5h

I'd like to say a massive thank you to my editor and dear friend, Nikki Dalonzo, for supporting me on this journey! 

Transcript

Welcome Mekia Cox

Tyne Stecklein 0:00

Welcome back to Essence Embodied by Tyne Stecklein. I am so excited to share my good friend with you today, Mekia Cox. We met dancing for Michael Jackson, and she has since gone on to have such an incredible career. You are going to want to listen to this conversation if you are a dancer, an actress, an artist pursuing your pathway, or someone who is helping to encourage an artist on their pathway. Mekia gives us so much goodness and insight on auditioning, on being a series regular on a set, on how the right roles are not going to pass you by. And I think you are just going to really love this conversation. I want to read her bio for you so you can get just a little bit of a glimpse into the amazing work that she has done. Mekia has had the opportunity to work with industry icons like JJ Abrams when she was granted her first series regular role on NBC's Undercovers. Her more recent roles include Princess Tiana in ABC's Once Upon a Time, as well as Robin Charles on NBC's Chicago Med. Other TV credits include Secrets and Lies, Key and Peel, 90210, Almost Human, Modern Family, Grey's Anatomy, Gotham, One Tree Hill, CSI New York, Half and Half, and Bones. She also acted in one of my favorite films alongside Ryan Gosling and Steve Carell in the romantic comedy Crazy Stupid Love. Currently, Mekia plays the top no-nonsense role of Detective Nyla Harper on ABC's The Rookie. What an incredible bio, Makia. I am so grateful to have you here with me today.

Mekia Cox 1:36

I'm so grateful to be here. It's grateful to just like see your face and talk to you because I miss you. And I feel like we had such a wonderful time together and a special time in both of our lives. So it's like I'm so honored to be on your show.

Tyne Stecklein 1:51

Oh, thank you. You were the first people that I thought of that I wanted. And even though we don't see each other often, I feel like I know you well enough that I'm like, I know she will say yes because that's the person that she is. And I wanted to give listeners an example of you because I know you to be such a grounded, authentic, strong, confident woman, but like filled with so much grace and laughter and love. And it's just it's laughter there.

Mekia Cox 2:22

We have to laugh a lot together.

Tyne Stecklein 2:25

And you have the best laugh, the most courageous laugh. So I'm just really excited to share you with listeners today.

Island Roots And Early Training

Mekia Cox 2:33

Thank you, Tyne.

Tyne Stecklein 2:34

So I would love to start kind of early on in your pathway. Did anyone in your family, was anyone in the arts, anyone actor, dancer? And if you were kind of the first, what was that like creating a new pathway?

Moving To LA And Booking Fast

Mekia Cox 2:47

I was born in the Virgin Islands, born in St. Croix, small island, love my island. And my godfather started a choir with my father and my mother. I didn't know this story until later. He just told me the story a couple of years ago, but he was like, I had never done that before. Like he was the you know conductor, he was in charge of everything. I just thought, like, he's done this a bunch of places, this is what he does, you know. And he was like, I had he was he works for IBM. He was like, I've I'd never done that before. Somehow your father convinced me to do it. He was just like, I think you could do this. And I was like, what did he say? He was like, I don't even know. He just said something, and I was like, I believed him because it's your dad, and that's how your dad is. My dad was very charismatic, like he was able to get you to believe in yourself in an interesting way. So I'm I'm thankful to him for that. But yeah, so I remember going to choir practice with them when I was a little girl. And I remember sitting on my mom's lap one time and singing, but being like, Why can't I hear myself? Because everyone else was singing at the same time. I was like, Why can't I hear myself? And uh my mom was like, So this is a choir, and we have to sing as if we are one voice. So you don't want to be able to hear your own voice over everyone else's. I'm I was a little baby, I'm sure I was like screaming my lungs out. But it taught me how to sing, it taught me how to be a part of a choir, it taught me, you know, pitch and harmonies and and all of that from a very young age. And so I attribute that to my parents. And then my parents also saw in well, and then also like I remember going, we would go to you know, restaurants or places where like dance, where where they where people would dance. And I remember my parents always were like great dance partners. I wouldn't call them dancers, but like when they got together and would dance, they were great dance partners. I think I got that from them a little bit, and then they saw in me that I couldn't sit still, basically. And my mom would always say, like, you were doing cartwheels down the aisle at the grocery store. I just didn't know what to do with you, so we got you in to dance. And I was very lucky. They happened to, there was a woman down there, and she was sort of starting this troop of dancers, and her name is Linda Rieger. If you know, when you look back on your life, you're like, Oh my gosh, there were all these things that were set up in my life that have led me to where I am today. Linda was a big part of that. My parents talked to her about me, and she was like, All right, let me just have some time with her, like an hour or whatever. And afterwards, she was like, She's mine. Like, give her to me. And um, I still credit her this day for the fact that I am where I am today. So I love that.

Tyne Stecklein 5:31

It's such a good story. You came to LA. Did you come to dance? Because I don't even think I know this. Did you come to dance or to act or both?

Mekia Cox 5:40

So I went to school for musical theater. I went to Florida State for musical theater. I went to uh um for my arts high school as well. I always knew I wanted to do all three. I did start off dancing, but then when I moved out here, I think it was such a weird thing. I, you know, studying musical theater at school, I always assumed that I would be in New York on Broadway. And I kind of fell into out here. I happened to get an agent who um was like, why don't you just come out here? You can stay with me, you can just like audition for like a week. And then I happened to book a few things during that time. It just kept me here, basically. I've told this story a bunch of times, but I so I booked the first like three things that I auditioned for back to back, and I was like, hello. The actual first three auditions? It was One Tree Hill. What was weird about One Tree Hill is that I booked it, it was supposed to be recurring, that was a whole other thing. It was a recurring role, but it would they booked like months in advance, which is very rare. That like never happens. So while I was waiting for that to actually shoot, I started to audition for other things. And the next two things I auditioned for was CSI New York and Half and Half. And I booked them, and these were just the guest star roles, you know. But but I was like, oh, it's this easy, amazing. Like clearly, like this is where I'm supposed to be. So, like I said, at the time I was um she had she's she we were close in age. My my parents and her parents, uh my agents at the time, uh, parents were friends in Orlando, and so that's how we ended up knowing each other. So I ended up staying with her for a while, and uh eventually I was like, Well, it seems like things are working here, I might as well move. And when I made the move, I didn't work for an entire year. Yeah.

Tyne Stecklein 7:33

Of course, that's how it's of course.

Mekia Cox 7:35

I feel like LA does this weird thing where it lures you in. It's like, don't come to LA, it's beautiful, we've got beautiful weather, don't you want to be here? And then you get here and it's like off to the next person. I didn't work for a year, I tried two weight tables, was not good at that at all. I was like, what am I doing? What am I doing? Like, you have other talents, why don't you use those? It happened to be around that time that I had changed my frame of thought that the same woman who was my agent out here, she had moved, she'd left and went to New York, and she had started with Block in New York. Block is in New York and LA. Why don't you I can get you in to LA? And so that's how I got in with Block, and then I started auditioning, and yeah, and then the rest is history. So I was really doing both when I came out here: dance and acting. I went to school for um bat I had got a bachelor of music in musical theater, so it was really more vocal performance that I was doing at school, but like no one out here knows I can sing. Yeah, yeah.

Tyne Stecklein 8:37

Well, I'm I'm glad you made the point of saying that it was like basically a family friend who was the agent who you moved in with. Because I'm thinking I have, you know, people probably just starting this creative career that are like, oh, do you live with an agent? Oh god, no, that's that's not that's not normal, but this is a you know a family friend sort of situation. But it's so great to have someone in your corner right off the bat. And I think that's a good point to make that it just takes one person sometimes. Exactly. Like the first person to take a chance on you, the first person to believe in you, the first person to book you, and then and then it the rest is history, you know.

Mekia Cox 9:13

You do need that. That's because I again I was I was gonna be all by myself up in New York, and but I would have figured it out, you know. I was prepared. I was like, I'm going to New York, you know. New York isn't that the easiest city, but I was prepared, I was ready. I was ready at that time to go to New York, and I fell into out here, like it was an accident, really. But because it was because of her, and she did really believe in me. It ended up not working out with her, but the woman that was above her, because basically what happened was she used to be uh an intern at UTA. When her boss left, she wanted to start a new agency. Her boss now is my agent and has been so for like God, 20 years now. And I love this woman. But she basically passed me on to her, and April was like, once again, April was like, Yes, she's mine.

Tyne Stecklein 10:02

Having those really good relationships and connections are invaluable because I have I have the same manager I've had for yeah, almost two decades. And it's just so nice to have someone that you really trust.

Reps Relationships And Creative Momentum

Mekia Cox 10:14

And they know you. Yes, you know what I mean. And I'm sure, like I know with both of my reps, we've had sort of our like ups and downs, but like every time that happens, they understand you even more. You know what I mean? You're loyal to each other, you know what I mean? Like you really want them to see succeed, and they really want you to succeed. It starts to become like family, which is really nice.

Tyne Stecklein 10:35

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it's such a team. I really love that you you were trying to wait tables, you were trying to just essentially like pay the bills, and then you're like, No, I have other talents because I think I talked about this in another guest interview, like utilizing all of our talents, all the things we're passionate about is so huge. But for a while, I think the industry felt a little bit more like, no, what's your thing? What are you focused on? What's your one thing? And I think now, especially because there's so many ways to to do this, and it's also changing all the time. The more we can do that we feel passionate about, the better. So that was great that you did that so early on.

Self Tape Freedom Over Perfection

Mekia Cox 11:17

Yeah, that is so true. I mean, I'm looking literally, I'm looking at you and I'm looking at the art behind you, and I'm like, yes, that's exactly what I mean. And I say this all the time, but I do believe that like creative energy brings more creative things into your life. And so the more anytime I have a dip or a lull, I I used to paint, it's been so I've missed painting. But I'm home, yeah. But I do still draw and I try and you know, I pull out my guitar and try and like get better at that. Like I just try and be creative in or see in some way, and it brings other things, it attracts other things into my life, I feel like.

Tyne Stecklein 12:01

Oh my gosh, me too. I love that you're sharing that. I feel the same way. I don't know if you will even remember what I'm talking about, but I I wanna I wanna share this story. So I was lucky enough to see a self-tape of yours, and I honestly want to say it was maybe like your first tape for undercovers, but I could be wrong about that. Like you knew I saw it, but it was like I I think I was asking you a question in regards to making a self-tape because I was newer on my acting path when we worked together. That was a long time.

Mekia Cox 12:31

Undercovers was a long time ago. It was right after MJ, actually. It was right after MJ. Yeah.

Tyne Stecklein 12:37

And I remember being blown away by your tape in the best way for for many reasons, but specifically because coming from a dance background, I think I always felt like, you know, the moves had to be perfect, and therefore my dialogue had to be perfect. And so if I wasn't completely off book auditioning for something, I it was like a fail. And I saw this tape of yours, and I remember you're holding the sides, and you you even had a moment where you kind of just used them as your prop, but you were like checking in with them. And I was like, like what? Like that's allowed, and it and it looks that it's just a part of you and the role and what you're bringing to it. And it totally changed how I felt I was allowed to audition. So thank you for that. And I don't know how much you audition these days, but do you like what is your process with prepping for something and what kind of requirements do you put on yourself, or do you not with that space?

Becoming Nyla Harper On The Rookie

Mekia Cox 13:33

It's so funny. First of all, I got chills as you were telling that story, just because that's I you've never told me that, and I didn't, and I honestly don't even remember what it was, what audition it was, but it's so funny because it's the little things, like it's the small things that I'm sure I gave you that thinking it might help in some way, but not knowing in what way. And so to hear that that was like a you know mind-blowing experience for you to be like, oh, you don't always have to, and and I get it, there are small things sometimes that make you go, oh, I don't have to do it that way. Why, why have I been doing it that way this whole time? So thank you for saying that. I think we sometimes put a lot on ourselves. I know I put a lot on myself because I'm like, I should be doing more, I should be helping more people. How to you know I mean, and sometimes it's like just being you, just doing the things you do, somehow is helping someone else. So thank you for saying that. The industry has changed a lot when it comes to like my process for auditioning. It has changed and will have to change now because I have been very lucky. We are going into you know season nine now of the rookie, and so that's nearly a decade that I have kind of been out of the game, and the game has changed tremendously. Um COVID just like, and then the strike just like flipped it on its back. You know, there used to be a time when every odd most of our auditions, well, there used to be a time where every audition was you had to drive across LA to get to your auditions. The pilot season was crazy because you would have three, four auditions in the same day. Uh, and and for that, you know, just having to run around and like change outfits in your car and put on different hair and makeup, and like it was it was pretty crazy.

Tyne Stecklein 15:29

Yeah.

Mekia Cox 15:29

Now, pretty it's almost rare to go in for an audition. Like, most things are on tape. Figuring out how to do that nowadays is different for me, and I think I'm going to have to figure that out because I have kids now. There's been a while where I've been like, whenever I'm on hiatus for the rookie, like I want to be on hiatus. I I need to be with my kids, I need to like take a break. Um, I don't necessarily, unless it's something like amazing, I don't necessarily want to be auditioning for stuff. For auditioning, I don't really know anymore. In all honesty, like it that has to change. Now, my process for the show and my character over time has also changed. You know, when I first auditioned for this character, I had gotten the audition on like a Friday. I believe I went in on Monday, I booked it on Tuesday and started working on Wednesday. Yeah, yeah, it was pretty fast. I didn't have a lot of time to like really sit with the character before coming on the show, so I had to learn as I was going. Was that intimidating? Was that yes? Because on top of it, I came in on season two, right? So this group is already established, and I'm coming and I'm like the new kid on the block. It was intimidating that season in particular. They were introducing my character, so I had a lot that season. You know, I've played a doctor on Chicago Med, and so I've had to do like medical jargon, but police jargon is also interesting, it's not how you normally talk. So when I'm having a normal conversation, that's pretty easy for me to memorize. But the the police jargon is different. I remember being super nervous, and there was this one chunk that I had, like the second day I was there, and it was a lot of police jargon, and then they changed it like day off. I was like, it was just a couple words, a few words in there, but it was important that those words were changed, and I was like, Oh god. Um, and I was freaking out, and I felt like I like messed up a couple times, and Nathan looked at me and he was like, You're doing great. And I was like, Okay, thank you. I'm lucky, lucky, lucky to have they welcomed me with open arms, and they have been um again like a family from the very beginning, which is really wonderful. And so that provided me the opportunity to do my best work. Um, I was able to kind of grow into this character along with her journey on the show. And I love this character, man. I love her. Uh I love all my characters in all honesty, but I've just lived in her for so long. I don't have to think or put as much work into her because I've lived in her for so long that I know what her reactions are gonna be. I don't have to think about the reactions, they are just sort of in me, which is a nice and new place for me to be.

Tyne Stecklein 18:28

Do you have any thoughts on? Well, first of all, congratulations on this many seasons of the show. Thank you. Yes, yes. And when you're saying, you know, you're out of the audition game, you're in the game, though, more so, you know, you're you're a series regular, uh, right? So you're in the working game, but we know auditioning and then being on set are two totally different balls. Totally different things, yeah, and totally different skill sets. Anyone would choose to be in the in the working game, you know. So that's gonna bring you, you know, a lot of confidence in itself. I wanted to ask if you, you know, if with this character or if not this one, but any others, has it ever felt like you you get the sides or you get the the role and you're like, oh yeah, this is me. Like this is I can just bring Makia, and then you you booked it because of it.

Booking The Role That Fits

Mekia Cox 19:20

There have been some characters that I'm like, this is very clearly me, as in like this character and me are very parallel, we're very similar. This was not one of those characters. However, I did have that moment where I was like, This is me, this role is for me. And it is it's interesting when I have those moments because okay, so in particular with this character, I had told my reps to not send me out for cop shows anymore because yeah, because I felt like I was going in for them constantly, I was never getting called back. People didn't see me as a cop, people thought I was too soft, which Makia is kind of soft, but but I can play hard, but they I just was never getting called back, and so I had said, like, I think I'm I'm over it, like don't send me out for them anymore. There must have been something in them too that knew that I could do. I don't know, but they were like, just take a look at the role, and they were like, and Eric is on the show. I had done Secrets and Lies earlier with Eric, so they were like, you know, you could call him and see how the show is. And I did, I did that before I even read the role. And I asked him, and he was like, Do you want this role? And I was like, I don't know, I haven't I haven't read it. And he was like, I don't care, you're gonna want this role. And I was like, Well, I should read it first. And he was like, Stop, you're gonna want this role. And so he was like, Listen, I will hang up this phone with you and I will call the producers and I will tell them I've worked with her before, she's great, use her. Okay. So, but then I read the role and he was right. I was like, Oh my god, I do want this role. Not only do I want it, something in me was like, This role's yours. And I I felt it pretty strong. I worked on it. I have a lovely um acting coach, Sarah Mornell, who unfortunately had left um Los Angeles at this time and was in Atlanta. She zoomed with me and helped me on the role and coached me from afar, which I love her for. What I love about the way she works is she's like, you know, come in there with just have it fully planned out. There was a moment where I was supposed to be undercover as a waitress, and she was like, grab a chair or something that's in there and act like it's a bar. And so I went to do that. And the thing is, like, there's something about when you've rehearsed it this way and you've rehearsed it with her and all of that. There's a confidence that you have because you're like, I know this works and it's good. So I pulled the chair over and he goes, Oh, I wasn't really thinking you would be sitting for this. I was like, Oh, I'm not sitting, I'm just using it as a bar. And he was like, Oh, okay. And because of the confidence I had, it wasn't like, oh no, oh, can I use this? I was just like, no, no, no, this is what I'm this is what I'm doing. You should you should see it. It's gonna be really cool, you know? Yeah.

Tyne Stecklein 22:13

Taking ownership over the space. Over the space.

Mekia Cox 22:18

Yes. I remember, I don't remember who it was, but there was a casting director that had said, We want you to walk into the room as if you are the host of this house. You are the one who is in charge. And and I was like, Oh, you know, again, those little things that make you go, oh, okay, I got that. I can do that. But and there's a fine balance because you don't want to walk in like you're like, I'm the best person in the world, super cocky, overconfident. You know, you don't want to do that either. They want to see that this is someone that they can work with and that they can um be with for the next hopefully six, seven, however many, you know, seasons. So it is kind of that fine line, but um it was a chemistry read with with Nathan. We hit it off, and they were like, You guys' chemistry was great from right right off the bat because of that, and then also because I had Eric behind me helping me out there. So I yeah, that I think it was all of those reasons. Everything sort of came together. Um, and I am so so thankful because I had been on a one-season streak. I had been on a few different shows as a series regular, I should say, for only one season. I need this streak to break. I need it to break. I had been recurring on Chicago Med for four, almost five seasons, which was wonderful and great. Then I went off to do Once Upon a Time, which ended up only being one season, you know. But all of those things kind of brought me to this show, which I'm very happy about. We are definitely in that business where it's like you have to realize that not everything is for you. There are plenty of roles out there. Your thing is out there, you just have to wait for it. And when it comes, it's it's good, it feels right, you know.

Tyne Stecklein 24:05

Exactly. I I don't think that things that are meant for us pass us by. Right. So the fact that you had told your reps, like, don't send me for cop roles anymore, and then they send you this, and then you're like, I don't know. And then your friend is like, you're gonna want this, and you're like, I don't know. It it didn't pass you by. You, you know, you went through the motions, you read it, you felt something, and it was yours all along. It was meant to be. And I think that's uh that's a really cool story. Even though, you know, I I think of you as just like warm and fuzzy and so loving. I have always thought of you like as a very confident person who, you know, you don't feel like you have to put on a front or be something you're not. You're just you're just Makia. And you know, that's part of what I'm hoping listeners can, if they're not already doing that in their life, like feel like they can just bring more of who they are to whatever spaces they're showing up in. So I just want to compliment you on that. But also, you know, do you feel that way, or did you feel that way early in your career, or did it take you time to be able to feel confident walking on set or walking into these castings?

Mekia Cox 25:11

So I feel like I say this all the time. I am very confident in my skill. And it's because I have worked very hard, and I'm sure you feel the same way. Like you've danced all of your life, you know what I mean? I've danced all my life. I've put the work in. I am very confident in my skill. And so I think that that permeates into other areas. I will say, I mean, this is a little different because I love you and this is a podcast and it's just a conversation, but I still to this day like put me on a red carpet, put me in an interview. I freak out. Really? I know, I know. Yes, I know. I I don't know what it is. It's it's getting better the older I get. That is not my, I don't feel like it's my forte, but again, it's a skill, it really is a skill for those of you who don't know. Like getting on a red carpet and doing those interview after interview and like the flashes in your face, and it is a skill. And so I had to look at the look at it that way. Um, and something like a muscle that I have to work on and improve for those of you who are out there who I consider myself to be an extroverted introvert, whichever way, one or one or the other. Yeah, because I'm an introvert at heart. Like I would rather be at home drawing or playing on my guitar or playing with my kids, or you know, but then when I'm out and if I'm amongst people that I love and I'm comfortable with, I'm an extrovert. So there is sort of a balance there, but I do get my energy from being alone. There were things that I had to learn. I did have to learn how to walk into an audition space and and and hold the room in a way that was myself. And and my agents had always said they were like, we don't want you to not be you. We just want you to be sort of an elevated version of yourself. And so um, I that what that was a new skill that I had to learn how to do. Because I remember this was something I was taught in college, I believe. We were doing cabaret that semester, and I was excited that they were doing cabaret. I thought, oh, they did not have auditions for some reason. This this semester, they didn't have auditions for it. She just casted, and she did not cast me. I remember being like, that's weird. Why didn't I get cast? You know. Unfortunately, my best friend ended up having an injury, and so she ended up had not being able to do the show, and so she had to put someone else in. She put me in her place. It wasn't until I can't remember if it was it might have been like dress rehearsal or it was right around or maybe previews or something, but she had said sort of to the whole cast, she was like, I'm just gonna take a second and say that I did not really believe in in one cast member, and she'd come here and she's like kind of blown me away, and then and she was talking about me, and I was like, Oh, I was not expecting that. Um, but she told me afterwards, she was like, You I could I didn't because I'm Makia, like I am which is what was happening for me with these cop shows that I was going in for. People were just seeing Makia and they weren't seeing me in the role. And she was like, I just you're so sweet and so innocent that I don't see you in this role, and so but then I was like, Yeah, but the my whole thing back then was like, but I'm an actor, that's the whole point of acting. Totally. Yes, I agree. I didn't get it, yeah, but I realized that they do need to see a little bit of that in you, and it really is just it is that confidence part. They need to see that like you're confident enough that they can rely on you to bring this role every time. It's interesting because I I have another friend actually who we became friends after, but she actually had told me she was like, I I think maybe she was a reader or something in one of the rooms that I had been in, and she was like, same sort of thing that you said, which I was like, I I probably bombed that audition. I don't know. But she was like, you know, I just remember watching you and going, Oh, this girl walks in with confidence and you know, da-da-da-da-da. And I was like, Great, that that's this, that's a skill I learned.

How Dance Shapes On Screen Acting

Tyne Stecklein 29:41

Yeah. So huge what what you're saying of like, because I think I ran up against that a lot too, be it with dance or some acting things, where I I just am a nice and kind and shy and introverted person, but I didn't know for a long time that it was okay to be that way, but then also like be very confident and be strong and go in and get the job done. You know, I think I would still go in the room and like like you're talking about the chair, like, oh, can I not use a chair? Okay. Then like my audition is bombed because everything I had planned is now out the door, right? So like we can, and I like to tell dancers that, like on convention weekends, like you can be the sweetest person here and you can walk out on the floor and put on a different hat and really, you know, play a role or play round into something different, and that's okay. And it's and it's good to exercise that. Yeah, exactly.

Mekia Cox 30:36

Especially, and I and and speaking of dancing, when it comes to acting, dance to me is a form of acting. You know, I remember actually, I think it might have been Nathan. He was like, Because uh in that first episode, I played three different roles, and a friend pointed out to me, she was like, in a way, it was almost four. But I was an undercover waitress who was one character. I was Nyla Harper, as you know, of the TO at the time, coming in as the TO, which was another character. I was Crystal, who's um a crackhead. So those were really the three main characters, but then someone else had pointed out to me, they were like, Yeah, but then when I had to deal at the end of the episode with my ex, you kind of saw me in a different light because Nyla with her family is way different than Nyla when she's a cop. And so they were like, in a way, it's almost like four different roles that you had to play in one episode. Crystal character is is pretty out there. She I had to completely change my physicality with her. And there's a moment where I'm inside of the car with Nathan, and I have to like taking off clothes and putting on making my hair crazy, and like I take some some soot from the tire and put it on, and and I walk across and I go into this laundromat, and as I'm walking, I basically like conform into this character. And he was like, I just remember watching you and being like, How is she doing that? It's because it's not it's not Nyla and it's not Makia. Like, how is she? And I thought to myself, and I was like, I never put any thought into my physicality, I just knew how she would act, and I genuinely feel like it's because I've played so many different characters as a dancer, and as a dancer, we are in touch with our bodies, and we know that like when you gotta be grounded and down and hunched over and whatever, we know how to do that. It just comes very easily for us, right? And so I told him, I was like, I think it is honestly because I have my dance background, because it's not like I'm like, all right, well, she's gonna move her arm like this, and she's gonna do like I didn't I don't think of anything like that. I just know exactly what her form, like what form to take when I become this character.

Tyne Stecklein 32:48

That's that that makes a lot of sense to me. Because I think you can see it with actors sometimes struggling with like where there are, you know, where to move in their stance. And I think even at the beginning, when I was new to acting, I felt that way. And then it took me being like, oh, I can just drop in. Like I know my body so well. And I think it's again like just goes back to if you're passionate about more than one art form, they can so help one another and help infuse confidence in one another. I think I wanted to go back because you mentioned Sarah Mornell, who I'm not even sure if I knew that you trained with her because I did too when she was in L. I know I I that sounds familiar though. Did we were we there at the I don't know, I don't know. You told me about I'm not sure. Yeah, I can't remember. Yeah. But yeah, she was such a wonderful coach. And I know I did some Zooms with her too, and just gave me the idea to say, like, it's okay to ask for help for an audition. Or, you know, if you're auditioning for a college program, if you're going to nationals for something, like sometimes I think we think we're supposed to know everything. We're supposed to, yeah, but but having a coach can just give you that extra little bit of input or that extra boost of confidence or someone to just like bounce ideas off of, I think is just a good thing to remember.

Mekia Cox 34:02

Totally. There was uh another show that I had auditioned for that was a period piece that Frank Darebont was directing. It for me, it seemed like a fantastic role. So I worked with her. Anytime there was like a role that I really wanted, I was just like, I called her immediately. I want this role. And so um, it's also interesting what happens when there are roles that again, one you feel like are yours, or you feel like there's just something really drawing you to it, you get on it right away. I remember for this role, since it was a period piece, I did not have a dress that was appropriate. And so I went out and I think it was like I had a day or two to to get all of this together, and I just immediately was like, I'm on it. And uh, you feel that push, you feel that thing pushing you to like, all right, I'm gonna go find a dress tomorrow. I'm gonna go do this, I'm gonna, you know, it's a drive, yeah. Yeah, and um, and I remember working with her on it. She the the whole, you know, it it's a period piece, and so they're all everyone's smoking in almost every scene, it feels like. And so she happened to have uh like a fake cigarette or or something that I could use, like an e-cig or it was something that actually blew smoke and it looked like I was smoking. I used it for the audition. I swear that's part of why I got the role.

Teaching Kids To Self Tape

Tyne Stecklein 35:26

I mean, those just those little extra things, right? Like even the chair you talked about, I think that's brilliant, especially when they're telling every other actor we're gonna have you stand. Yeah, totally, even though you didn't sit. It's just like a thing to remember, and you were confident in doing it.

Mekia Cox 35:41

Well, and even so, I so I'll see this. I'm I am having a proud mama moment. My youngest daughter is on the show on the rookie with me because I was pregnant on the show, and uh oh, that's they were like, Yeah, exactly. Like, write your pregnancy in. They wrote the pregnancy in, and they were like, You just want to use your daughter, and I was like, Yes. I just you know, I initially was just thinking, Oh, okay, great, but then like forgetting that, like, oh, like they're gonna continue to use her, and she's gonna grow up, and you know, and she's the right age, obviously. Yeah, so my proud mama moment with her was this last season, she had her first set of lines, and I didn't know they were like, We're gonna use her again. I was like, Okay, great, sounds wonderful. And they were like, Oh, you know, she has lines this time, like three days before, maybe it was a week, but I was like, Wait, what? And I was like, you know, she's three, and they were like, Well, figure it out. So, and she did, she was great, she learned her lines very easily, partially because one of their lines was I need some juice, which is something she says all the time. So she was great, but and my oldest was like is always so proud of her and like really is ex genuinely excited when she gets to go on when her sister gets to go on set. I've been like, I know she wants to do it as well. And so I talked to my agent and I was like, you know, do you know of any kid agencies? And she was like, Well, I can rep her if you want. I represent my clients' kids. So if you want me to just do that, I could do that. I was like, actually, yeah, that's kind of great. A couple months later, she calls me and she was like, Guess what? I got a self-tape. It's for Abbott Elementary. She's to play the crying kid. So I was like, amazing. I just was excited about that because this is an opportunity for me to show her how to put herself on tape, how to slate, how to like do all of that, how to make sure she's in frame and like her she's lit well, and this is an opportunity to really be able to do that. And so I tried to explain to her, like, you're just auditioning for the role. Just because you're auditioning, that doesn't mean you got the role, you're auditioning, and she's like, Okay. She has no lines, but the other guy is saying stuff, and she just has to cry at a certain point, right? But I was like, there's supposed to be like a car crash going on, and and so I was like, Well, we'll have you slate, and then after you slate, let's have you start off camera and then walk on camera and then see what's happening with the car crash and and really take that in and then start to cry and da-da-da-da. I'm just thinking of things that I would have done, you know what I mean, for the audition. Same sort of thing as my story, actually. She we sent the tape in on Monday, she booked it on Tuesday, and it was they shot it on Wednesday. Yeah.

Tyne Stecklein 38:31

And so um genuinely, was she able to like get emotional?

Mekia Cox 38:36

She wanted, she was like going for it. Wow, yeah. And I was like, after a couple times, I was like, Are you okay? Like, do we can we keep going? Like, do you want to keep going? I don't want to be like a mom that's like pushing you into this, like we can stop. She was like, No, I want to do it. I want you know, and I was like, amazing. So yeah, so she booked it. I was very excited about that. And they basically said they were like, Oh, it was something about the way she walked in and she really took in the space, and like, and then she cried. It was all of this stuff leading up to it. It wasn't just her standing there waiting for her line to cry on, you know what I mean? And so sometimes people forget that like it's not just those moments where you're talking that are important, it's the whole thing. People need to see the entire package. Um, yeah, so that's just sort of another example of that.

Tyne Stecklein 39:31

Oh, I love that. Let's let's talk about because we we became mothers at like the same time basically, like December same year. How did that change your kept going though? You had three, yes, very full, very full family, and I love it. Yes, but how did it change your perspective on you know work or life or any of it? God, so much.

Mekia Cox 39:58

So much, right? Yeah. Um, I say this to people all the time, but you do not realize what your parents did for you until you become a parent. First of all, I'm also like, what did I do with my time before?

Tyne Stecklein 40:13

Oh my goodness. I ask myself my husband that every day. I'm like, I didn't get stuff done back then, but how could I not have to be responsible for no one but yourself? Yourself.

Mekia Cox 40:24

Exactly. Yeah, so that is definitely a shift, you know, balance between work life and home life that is that can be a challenge at times. You know, find that sometimes, like, you know, you have to miss something at school because you're at work and you feel bad while you're at work because you're meant, but you have to go to work in order for them to even go to school, and you know what I mean? It's like all of that. They cuddle with you in the morning, and like your heart just absolutely melts, and and you want to do everything in the world for these children. It does make you work a little harder, it does make you think about the future a little bit more. Like, okay, I'm here now, but you know, what do I need to do to prolong things in the future so that they can have a good sustainable life? So yeah, that's just sort of always, always, they're always on your mind. They are never not on your mind.

Tyne Stecklein 41:26

Right. I mean, for me, it was like it was really wonderful because whereas before I felt like, you know, my career and like the boxes that I wanted to check on my resume and the the places I wanted to get to, they they were kind of everything, you know. And once I had kids, it it just gave me this perspective shift of like it would be great for these things to happen if they happen, but if they don't, like I'm so full, like my I am so full as a person, you know. And I feel like it's also infused my art a lot too. I don't know. Like, yeah, like it's just because of how much, like it's just this different type of love that's just so massive.

Michael Jackson Tour High And Low

Mekia Cox 42:06

I will also say that now playing a parent as well is different, you know what I mean? Like there is a connection that you're able to have with a child as a parent that is different than when when you're not a parent. Yeah. So and then on top of that, oh, I was really nervous. I was nervous to tell my reps. I don't know why. I look back, I'm like, why was I? I don't know. I wasn't. But I was you were too? Yeah. I was nervous to tell my reps about my first pregnancy. Because I guess I was thinking they were gonna be like, okay, great, but that means that now, yeah, exactly. Yeah. So I told them and they were like, Great. You know, my my um agent, she hit has uh two boys and she uh loves them, and so she was like, Oh my god, okay. So I think I thought because she's a woman as well, like, you know, I knew she would be excited. Not that, not that my manager wouldn't be, I don't know, but he I I remember telling him and he was like, Great. And I was like, really? I was I was kind of nervous to tell you, and he was like, I'm gonna tell you this. I don't know what it is, but every time any of my clients get pregnant, they get more work. Oh, I was like, really? And he was like, Yeah, and it's kind of been true. Wow, it's kind of it's weird, but it's kind of been true. There's a saying that like children bring abundance or whatever, yeah. And it kind of has been true. I I ended up starting to pursue, you know, all of a sudden there were all these rules for like pregnant women. I ended up going in for a movie and it was for a pregnant woman. I went into the audition and they thought they were like, Oh my god, she just must be really method. Like she went and got a pregnancy belly. This one's real. So they loved that and they used me, you know. Yeah. It's really been such a tremendous shift in my life. It's a new chapter of my life, but it is a really beautiful part of my life.

Tyne Stecklein 43:59

I I've shared like personal stories from my career on the show. And I've talked about my experience working for MJ, which is how we met, of course, our listeners. For me, that job in particular, it it taught me like this massive life lesson that I didn't really realize until years later I was able to scope out. And unfortunately, it was kind of that I wasn't even present to an event that I would have liked to have been on that opportunity because once it was gone, it was gone, right? It was just so quick and shocking. And so I realized, oh, I didn't even take that in, you know, and it has been able to kind of allow me to now be more present, be it work or with my family or whatever part of my life I'm focusing on at the moment. But was there any, you know, anything from that experience or any experience that you've had that it was just this like big life lesson or inspiration or something that you took away?

Mekia Cox 44:57

Um God, that was such a whirlwind, right? Like it really was. Yeah. Um, it was such a like poignant moment of my career. And when you look back, it was really only like three months, three, four months, something like that, right? It's interesting that you're saying that. Because on one hand, I felt like I was really taking things in just because I was like, for me, when I was a kid, there used to be um, I don't know if you remember these, like the VH1 Michael Jackson weeks. I would have my little VHS tape, and I went to record all of his like everything and learned all of his dances. And I remember there was um in his concert, there was this one female dancer to like the right of him, and uh I remember being like, I want to be her. And so to have such a specific dream actually come true was so surreal to me. That's why that moment when they told us that we had booked it, I my knees just gave out because I was just like, What is happening? What? But then also to have it taken away so drastically and so quickly was really hard for all of us. It did allow me to sort of recognize. I mean, one, I'm also thankful because I'm like, I still got to have that experience with someone as big as he is who is, you know, a legend, and and I got to have that experience with you guys. No one else knows really what that is like, and so it it was really a special moment. I think I learned a lot of lessons afterwards because I was in a in a strange place. You put your eggs all in one basket because this is obviously the basket to put them in, and then that basket gets taken away and you don't know what to do. I was scrambling for a little while trying to figure out my place and what I'm supposed to do. It was just a low. It was a low for me. But then after that, I sort of learned some things. I think I gained more of my confidence after that. You know, whenever you do have a low, usually there's no place to go but up. And so uh I was sort of able to pick myself up again. And um, like I said, that was when I got my first series regular role, and I guess it was right before that, because it yes, that's right. Uh, I had gotten the recurring role on 902 and oh, that was kind of a big thing. And so so things ended up working out, but that was just such a high high and then such a low low.

Tyne Stecklein 47:27

Totally. Yeah. Different sort of, I'm sure we could talk all day about like resilience in this business of getting the nose and the projections, but then this was a different category of its own because you're the thing, like the biggest thing there was to ever get as an answer. Yes, it was gone. Taken away from you. Yeah, I mean it I think we all were pretty lost. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and we were babies, we were we were it was a young, a pretty young cast. I mean, I I feel like I had very little confidence in I didn't know myself yet in that.

Mekia Cox 48:05

I remember me and Chucky being like, Oh, we're the grandparents of the group, and we were like 27. Exactly.

Rejection Recovery And Full Circle Lessons

Tyne Stecklein 48:12

Yeah, like, and you were so young, exactly. But it was such a special bond that we formed, even before it ended the way it did. Like, I think it was just there was so much love in that space. There really was. And and like you said, joy and laughter and like play. Do you have any, you know, anything you want to leave listeners? Like, you know, you just talked about being in a low, anything that you use in your life at this point, and it could be for a career thing, or just you know, you read the news and you you there's that girl, yeah. Or, you know, just anything that you use in your life to help pick you up, or like daily routines that you have that help keep you mind, body, soul happy, you know, just anything like that you want to share.

Mekia Cox 48:56

I am trying to get better with my journaling. I'm really trying to like I found now that doing it in the morning with our lives every day is different. So we have no like structure. Yeah, exactly. So the only thing that I do every day is wake up in the morning, and so I figured, okay, let me try doing it in the mornings. For me, I going back to like audition days. I remember especially when I would get really close to a thing and not book it, that was hard. It would feel like a breakup almost. Allow myself like two days, a couple days of being sad about the thing that I lost because we are artists, we are passionate about certain things. It's okay to hurt when when you don't get that thing that you were so motivated for and now don't have. I always tell myself it's okay to feel that, but then you can't wallow in it. It's important to acknowledge it, put it down, and then start to pick yourself back up again and move on to the next thing and know that like that wasn't yours, and that's okay. And maybe it'll come back around because that's also happened. That's how I got undercovers. I did not book it initially, and then they came back around months later, and they just called and said, actually, you know, can you come do the role? That was amazing. Or it's just not meant to be yours at all, and something else is better for you. One job in particular. I auditioned for Walking Dead. I auditioned for the Michonne character because I auditioned for this. There were a few callbacks before the very first audition. I had never watched the show. I started to watch the show and was hooked immediately. Loved the show. And so I was like, I want this role, like I want this role. And it was, I was getting some really good feedback, and so I was thinking, like, maybe this role is mine. And and there was one audition that I went to, and it was it was basically between me, Denai Guerrera, who's playing the role, and one other female, all brilliant actresses. I thought I botched the audition, it just didn't feel right, it didn't feel good, you know, and I was just like, oh no, I thought they were never gonna like call me in for anything ever again. Cut to the show that I'm currently on. One of the writers, he was the showrunner of Walking Dead at that time. And so I was able to sort of tell him, I was like, Yeah, you know, I auditioned for the Michonne character, and he wasn't really putting two and two together. I was like, Yeah, it was like between me and Dara Denai, and and he was like, Oh my god, Makia. And I was like, I almost was like, Oh god, you remember me? You remember how bad that audition was. Like, you know, maybe I shouldn't have brought it up. But then he was like, I definitely remember you. Actually, and I was like, Yeah, you know, I did I was horrible at that audition. He was like, No, you didn't, and I was like, Yeah, I did. And he was like, I don't really remember that. He was like, Listen, if you got to that point, all of the actresses that came in are good actors. There's just certain things that we're looking for in certain actors. I was like, okay, great, but I think I didn't really believe him. It wasn't until the next day he sent me an email and he was like, just to further prove my point, this is an email that I sent to a casting director a few, I don't know, years or months later, whatever it was. And I I said to the casting director, What about Makia Cox? She's amazing. And I was doing, I don't know what I was doing, I never knew this happened. I don't know what I was, I was doing something else at the time, and so I couldn't actually do it. And so the casting director explained that, but I was like, Oh, he was like, Yeah, so you did not do horrible. I was like, I did not realize that. So it was really nice because it was kind of one of those full circle moments. That's another thing is like, don't be too hard on yourself. I carried that with me for a really long time, really long time. Thinking, like, man, I messed that up. I really messed that up. But then the other thing is when I um the whole reason I started this conversation is because I stopped watching the show for a while because it hurt me too much to watch it. But then when I finally decided to get back and I saw Denai, she was fierce. Like she was amazing in this role. And I was like, oh my god, this was her role. Like it was interesting because it like all of a sudden I felt a weight off of me because I thought, you know, even if you killed it in the audition, like this was her role. This wasn't for you. And I was very happy. It's nice when you see that, you know what I mean? Because I'm like, totally she is killing it, and I'm happy for her. And you know what? That's that wasn't my role. That wasn't for me. And so then, and it's true, and it wasn't. Now I'm doing this, and this was for me, you know what I mean? And so it's nice to sort of be able to like feel that.

Tyne Stecklein 53:31

Yeah, yeah. I love you know, those touch points of like it's okay to. I used to have an acting teacher, John Lacey, who I loved he would he would give us like a 24-hour pout rule. Like you have 24 hours, you know, maybe 48, right? But like to pout, like it's okay. It means you cared a lot. And you really do love this thing. If you don't get something that you should be high on a list, that's that's information. Yes. You don't care. So yeah, that's great. And then, but then also being able to move through it, move through the letdown, not hold on to things and ways of being able to say, like, if it wasn't this, then it's it's something else, or it's even leading me on a different pathway, maybe to something that would light me up even more so, you know, or a different opportunity or different connection. And and that also that idea of whether it be in this business or any business or just in the world, like everything is so interconnected, you know, this person that you're talking about, but everything works that way, I feel like. So showing up, putting our best foot forward, being a good person, but also we can be a confident person, you know, and then we never know where that leads, even if it's not clear in that moment. Exactly. Such such good takeaways from you, McGee. Yeah. Well, I just appreciate you and your time so much. Do you is there anything else you want to share before I let you get back to your busy life?

Mekia Cox 54:50

I am just so happy that I got to do this with you. Um, for folks who don't know, we are both moms, and so it would took us a little while to be able to schedule this. But we finally got it, and it's just so wonderful speaking with you, Tyne. And anytime I see you, it's like no time has passed. So thank you. Thank you for having me on.

Tyne Stecklein 55:13

Of course. Thank you for being here, and I'm so proud of you for everything you've done and achieved. You're just such a light in this world, and you deserve all of it.

Mekia Cox 55:22

So sweet. You are too.

Tyne Stecklein 55:25

Thank you. I hope you enjoyed that amazing conversation with Mekia. I'm so glad that she was able to join us today. And if you are enjoying the podcast, it would mean so much to me if you would leave a rating or a review, follow the show, subscribe to the YouTube channel. Let's help other people find these conversations who might also benefit from them. This is Essence Embodied by Tyne Stecklein m .