Big Yoni Energy vs. The Manosphere

This podcast started as a group chat gone rogue, a wellness intervention, and occasionally an unhinged act of feminist rebellion.

In our Season 1 finale, we take on the rise of the manosphere - those very shouty influencers promising young men a cheat code to power, money and multiple girlfriends.

We also reflect on what Big Yoni Energy has come to mean to us, and make the case that in a world increasingly shaped by ego, aggression and control… we might need a lot more of it!

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:01

Being a woman in the world is exhausting. And frankly, we got tired of smiling politely and pretending everything was fine. So we started this podcast. Over the past season, we've unpacked everything from wellness culture to workplace dynamics. But if you zoom out and look at the world right now, we're living through a pretty turbulent time. And history shows that when things become unstable, progress, especially for women, can start to backslide. Which is why this conversation feels so important. Because in a world obsessed with power, domination, and control, what we really need is a lot more Big Yoni Energy. Hi everyone, welcome to Big Yoni Energy. I'm your host, Scotty, and I'm joined by my co-host, Robin and Tess. Hi ladies.

SPEAKER_01 0:42

Hi.

SPEAKER_03 0:43

Alrighty, before we dive in, and because it's our season finale, I think a very on-brand celebratory drink is in order. Tess, what are we drinking?

SPEAKER_00 0:54

Well, today we're drinking Lady Garden Riesling. Lady Garden Wines was founded by Kelly Pearson, a winemaker with nearly 30 years in the industry. After working all over the world, she came back home to Geelong and started Lady Garden to celebrate women in wine. The whole concept is collaborative. Each year, Kelly partners with female winemakers from around Australia to produce wines under the Lady Garden label. This Riesling was made by Marnie Roberts from Matriarch and Rogue Wines. Cheers to women supporting women. Cheers. Cheers. What do we think?

SPEAKER_03 1:25

I like it. It's different. Yeah, it's delicious. Very citrusy and a bit of mineralarity going on. Typical of a Clare Valley Riesling. Love it. Yeah, I'm enjoying that. I actually stumbled across Lady Garden Wines and I just I loved the name. I became a little bit obsessed with it because I was like, what a perfect drink for an ep of big Yoni energy.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

And even the logo on the label is the triangle, inverted triangle. I love it.

SPEAKER_03 1:53

It's so on brand. Kindred brand. Absolutely. And then I looked into the story behind it and the woman behind it, Kelly Pearson, and I became even more obsessed. And one thing that I really love about Lady Garden is that it's not just celebrating women in Wine, but it's actively creating pathways for more women to enter the industry through mentorships, scholarships, and work placements. Such a cool cause. Kelly, you're an absolute legend. Very big Yoni energy styles. Which feels pretty different to the energy shaping the world right now. Yep. Great. You know that your news feeds are absolutely dominated with political unrest, conflict, the rise of strongman-style leadership. And important as these topics are, we're not gonna focus on that. But what I do want to talk about today is that when we see societies destabilized like we're seeing at the moment, women's rights are often the first thing to go backwards. Do you think we're seeing that cycle at the moment?

SPEAKER_00 2:59

100%.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

In some countries, 100%. And it's just it's where it's frightening, I guess, a little bit of history repeating itself, right? Where people gravitate towards these tough leadership styles that people tend to think is the best way forward. And everything that we talk about is probably exactly the opposite of that, right?

SPEAKER_03 3:18

Where it's, you know, more about collaboration and community. Yeah. Empathy. Not a lot of that going on right now.

SPEAKER_00 3:27

Yeah. You're seeing this like growing cultural narrative around the world needs these tougher leaders, and the ones that dominate the room and crush opponents and project strength, and their language that they use is very interesting. Like changing the Department of Defense to the Department of War in the US was such a bold statement. But strength and wisdom are not the same thing, guys.

SPEAKER_03 3:51

No, they're not even in the same ballpark.

SPEAKER_02 3:54

No. And it's about dominance too, right? Like that's that's a big big thing that seems to be happening.

SPEAKER_03 4:00

Yeah. Definitely a couple of leaders at the moment that are really exhibiting that style of leadership. Do you girls think that leadership impacts society, or do you think that leadership is just reflecting what society wants? So I'm thinking about Donald Trump specifically here.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

He's allowing it because he's on a world stage. So he's allowing that rhetoric to be normalized. I think about Obama. His presidency was full of respect, and you would never hear him say some of the dumb stuff that Donald Trump says. So I think that it you asked if it reflects what society is showing. No, I think it I think it shapes it, right?

SPEAKER_02 4:38

I think it's both. I think he's reflecting what a certain percentage of society believes and expects of a leader. I also think he's probably following a formula that's been repeated many other times in history. And so I think he is probably just playing a part to some extent because he knew it would get him power. But it wouldn't have happened if there wasn't a percentage of people in society that believed that that was the way a leader should behave. Because he wouldn't have got voted in otherwise.

SPEAKER_03 5:10

That is very true. And he is repeating a pattern of a long line of incredibly impactful, incredibly dangerous leaders with his behaviour. And the rhetoric he's spreading, which is a rhetoric that's driven by fear, right? Because making people fearful of others is the easiest way to divide people. Yes. So do we think that we're moving backwards on gender, women's rights?

SPEAKER_00 5:36

Yeah. Sociologists refer to it as the pendulum effect. When there's a discourse like there is in the world, then we start to revert back to traditional gender roles.

SPEAKER_03 5:46

Are you laughing at me? I think the funniest rhetoric at the moment is young men, and we'll get to some horrific research that came out in a second. But I just think the funniest, most ironic rhetoric at the moment is this group of young men who want to return to traditional values. Yeah. But they also don't want to work. It's like if you want a woman who stays home, pops out a couple of kids, is there for you at your beck and call, then you're going to need to be able to provide for her. But a lot of them don't want to go to work. And we saw this, I can't remember his name, but one of those big brother contestants where he was very vocal on the fact he wanted a woman who would stay at home and he would play the traditional breadwinner role. And then somebody asked him what he did for a living, and he's like, Oh, I just work, you know, every now and then. And they were like, How do you afford to live? And he's like, Oh, I I live on my parents' property, so I don't pay rent. So it's quite good. And it's like, that's great, mate. Once you've got your own family, that's not gonna cut it.

SPEAKER_00 6:52

Just move his family into his tiny house on his parents' property.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

You'll wait for his inheritance.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

Potentially. But that's the other thing. That whole narrative about like, oh, I want to be the provider, but I'm not gonna provide.

SPEAKER_03 7:07

Yeah. Yeah, it's really the I'm bringing nothing to the table kind of scenario, isn't it? So let's talk about this research that came out last week. The King's College Research from London, which has done the rounds on media and the socials, and the main stat that has been pulled out of it is the fact that a third of Gen Z men think wives should obey their husbands. Were you surprised by that stat?

SPEAKER_00 7:35

I was. When I read this article, I was super surprised because I thought Gen Z would be super progressive. Mm-hmm. You're the generation with the most education, right? Like an access to information. Yeah, I think that's the problem.

SPEAKER_03 7:49

Because it's also a lot of misinformation, right?

SPEAKER_02 7:51

I think it's the misinformation they're receiving.

SPEAKER_03 7:56

It's pretty sad when you look at the fact that only 13% of baby boomer men believe that. 29% of millennial men think that women should obey their husbands, and 31% of Gen Z. What? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:16

How did we go backwards? I would have loved to understand in what context of the word obey was used. Like, because obey could be lots of different things. Like you must do what I tell you to do. Obey means one thing.

SPEAKER_03 8:30

Do what you're told. They took that out of marriage vows.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

They took that line, love, honor, and obey.

SPEAKER_03 8:37

I remember them making a big deal of changing it quite a while ago.

SPEAKER_02 8:41

Even the churches are progressive enough to take it out.

SPEAKER_03 8:43

It is kind of interesting that Gen Z are returning to these more traditional values. It's just strange, right? Because these like rigid roles, they obviously push women down, which is potentially part of the reasoning why Gen Z are doubling down on that. Maybe we've gone too far in supporting women's rights. Maybe men aren't happy because we're getting some of the playing field leveled. So they're like, dial it back, dial it back, everyone. But they also put a lot of pressure on men to be dominant, right? Yeah.

unknown 9:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:13

And constantly winning.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

I think that's the problem is, right? Is that it masculinity. I'm not sure that men understand the term and what it really means. And that's why these traditional ways of thinking are the thing that they're reverting to because they don't know what it looks like today.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:34

And I think women have done an amazing job of redefining our role and what we want and how we think we should behave. I'm not sure that men have gone through that yet. No. And I think that's why they're going back to, well, this is the way it was before, so let's go back to that because we don't know and we're not sure what we should be.

SPEAKER_00 9:55

And you have these mouthpieces who are spouting all the wrong things about masculinity, right? And all of the really negative sides of masculinity. I think you're onto something there, Robs, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 10:07

Well, let's talk about the manosphere ladies because I think we just dipped our toe into the manosphere pool. Louis Thoreau released a documentary on Netflix last week about the manosphere. And I think have we all watched it?

SPEAKER_01 10:24

Yeah. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 10:26

I was shocked. I thought the men in the manosphere, the leaders in the manosphere, were gonna be a lot smarter because they are supposedly convincing this huge audience of people that they've got it right, that they're taking the red pill, that they're seeing the world for how it is, and they're seeing how disadvantaged men are in the current state, and they're pushing back on that. And they're delivering cheat codes for life, which all involve like a $50 a month subscription to universities called things like the real world. I tell you what, if I ever asked someone what university they went to and they said the real world, I'd run because we're joking?

SPEAKER_00 11:10

I also think that they target like not the brightest sparks, right? Obviously, they target people that don't have a lot of smarts. Vulnerable people, I think you would say. Well, there was two two guys that were interviewed that were like fans of one of the influences.

SPEAKER_02 11:29

I felt so sorry for those two guys.

SPEAKER_00 11:32

I know, and they moved their whole life to Miami, which is not a cheap place to live. And then one guy was talking about being homeless and living out his out of his car, and I was like, you poor thing, like why are you here? Why? Why are you following this nitwit who has made so much money off you and is living a high life?

SPEAKER_03 11:49

Are they though? You think it's all fake? I think there's a level of illusion going on for sure. Some of them gave tours of their like apartments, and they were very quick to say, This is one of my places, this is one of my smaller places. Yeah, I've got others, I've got heaps of others that are bigger and more impressive. And you know, there was this constant false bravado, and it was so easy to see through. Anyone could see through that that has lived a bit of life and had a bit of experience. But yeah, the two things that surprised me were how unintelligible their arguments were, like just spewing false truths. And the second thing was how young their audiences were, the people that were coming up to them on the street, engaging with them and saying, Oh, you know, you're the man, you know, good job, bro. They've covered all their faces, but you could see from their bodies they looked like they were like maybe 12. Yeah, they're teenagers. Teens, young teens. And I was like, is it just the fact that they're targeting people who are so young and inexperienced with this rhetoric that they're recruiting them, these people that are vulnerable or not old enough to know better?

SPEAKER_02 12:59

Yeah, I think it's definitely a lot of that because the the biggest thing that I noticed straight away, particularly with the the British guy, was how insecure he was. And how once he realized who was doing the documentary, because he actually hadn't done his research clearly before he said yes to who it was, and everybody started piling on, going, This guy's gonna destroy you. And then you could see the insecurity creep in, and you could see it on his face. So anyone with a bitter life experience surely would pick up on that and sort of go, Oh, I don't think this guy really knows what he's talking about. He's built this platform by doing specific things on social media that get you engagement. Most people would not listen to him, but unfortunately, there is a select few and younger generations who don't apply to the world. But I don't think it's a select few, unfortunately. I guess maybe when you think about how many people live in the world, it is probably a small percentage. But yeah, it's definitely to the vulnerable younger generation that don't have the life experience.

SPEAKER_00 14:04

I don't know if you guys know who Scott Galloway is. He talks a lot about when a young man loses the male role model in his life, that's when things take a nosedive and they turn to alcoholism and they become drug addicts. And I think that's the problem. Like when you look at a lot of these young men that they're talking to, they don't have this male role model in their life.

SPEAKER_03 14:22

That was essentially what Louis Thoreau proposed at the end is that a lot of these men have come from unstable environments, have not had strong emotionally secure role models, unfortunately. And they've got trauma. They've got a lot of unprocessed trauma. I hate to say it, but I felt sad for them.

SPEAKER_02 14:43

Kind of felt sorry for them too. Uh, you know, as much as I don't agree with what they're doing.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

I felt sorry for them because it's like you have no idea. There were times that I would hear them say things and my mouth was wide open. The interaction between Bonnie Blue. Now Bonnie Blue is contentious in her own right, would it? The way that Harrison had this interaction with Bonnie Blue was so awful and disgusting. And he has an agency that manages women on OnlyFans, but he has no problem with that. He has no problem profiting off women from OnlyFans, but he has a problem with what Bonnie Blue does.

SPEAKER_03 15:14

He has a problem with all of them. He's he called them disgusting, and he actually called them disgusting in front of one of the people he manages. And Louie was like, Does it surprise you to know he feels like that? And she was like, Not really.

SPEAKER_00 15:26

That was the thing that confused the shit out of me. When Louis interviewed the women in these guys' lives, I was so confused that I couldn't be with someone like that who had views like that.

SPEAKER_03 15:35

Do you see there was a flicker on every single one of those men's faces when the women that were either their girlfriends or their mum. The mum. Shout out to her. She sounds cool. She's cool. I don't know how she birthed him. But the fear those men had, even when their girlfriends were in the room, they kind of dialed back what they were saying a little bit. One of the girls said, He's not like that with me.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

Yes. Myron's girlfriend.

SPEAKER_03 16:05

Get her out of here kind of thing. Because he's like, You're ruining my image. Like, yes, obviously they're playing characters a lot of the time online. I don't necessarily think they believe everything they're saying.

unknown 16:15

Nope.

SPEAKER_03 16:15

It's all actually Harrison said that, right? Because he had said horrific anti-Semitic comments in his videos. And he's like, but I don't really feel that way. I just said it for the clicks and the engagement. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:28

But this is a thing that shits me up the wall. How are you allowed to say something like that on social media and there are no repercussions?

SPEAKER_03 16:36

Well, there needs to be more policing. Social media need to step up and self-police this stuff.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

Exactly. And I know that Zuckerberg will always be like, oh, we can't watch every single piece of content, but you tell me you can think of it.

SPEAKER_02 16:50

Yeah, you can change the algorithm.

SPEAKER_00 16:52

They can build it, they don't want to. Because it adds to add revenue, right? More watches, more people spending time on their platforms. It made me like really want to delete all my social media handles for a hot minute.

SPEAKER_03 17:02

I've had moments like that. I was watching The Good Place last night. Have you ever watched that show? Old show. I was re-watching it. It's got Kristen Bell and Ted Danson in it, and it's based in the afterlife. I won't ruin it for anyone. Actually, I'll ruin it because it's super old. They think they're in the good place. They think they're in heaven, but they're actually in hell when they're being tortured. It comes out in the first season, everyone. I haven't ruined it all for you. Anyway, Ted Danson plays a demon, and he talks about the fact that demons don't die, they regenerate. They go through a series of life stages before they get to reform as a demon. So he's like, spooky little haunted house girl, teenage boy, social media CEO, and then demon. And I laughed so hard because I was like, yeah, that that sounds about right.

SPEAKER_00 17:54

Yeah. Accurate.

SPEAKER_03 17:55

So speaking of social media, Tess and I streamed a UN Women Australia International Women's Day conference the other week. And the best speaker of the day was this woman called Chanel Contos, who was absolutely brilliant. She was instrumental in campaigning the government to get age-appropriate consent education embedded into the Australian education system, all the way from kindergarten to year 10, which is a phenomenal achievement in itself. She's now backing a movement called Fix Our Feeds, which is calling on the government to let us choose whether we can have the algorithm for social media on or off.

unknown 18:36

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 18:37

Which is pretty revolutionary. And she actually has written an open letter to the Prime Minister and she's looking for signatures. I signed it. GoToteachusConsent.com. They're targeting 8,000 signatures and they're nearly there. The letter is so good, I'm just gonna read it. Dear Prime Minister Anthony Albanese, the social media feeds that once connected us are now tearing us apart. The algorithms that curate our feeds are designed to keep us scrolling. They prioritize content that provokes the strongest emotional reactions. Outrage, validation, fear, arousal, and anger drive successful posts. In turn, our feeds have become fertile ground for extreme misogynistic content. Young men and boys are being pulled into misogynistic spaces, seeking community and belonging. Studies show that dummy accounts created to imitate 16 to 18-year-old boys were fed extreme manosphere content within minutes of being created. Attitudes common in the manosphere, like undermining women's independence and the excusing of men's violence, are strongly linked with support for violence against women. The consequences are severe. Australia's national crisis of gender-based violence is worsening. Teenage boys have overtaken men as the most likely perpetrators of child sexual abuse. Image-based abuse is at record highs. Extremist groups use misogynistic content for recruitment, and teachers have reported rising misogyny in schools across the nation. Men and boys aren't benefiting from this either. It's isolating them. They're experiencing higher rates of social disconnection than ever. But the government can still change the story. With the Online Safety Act in review, the time to act is now. We urge the government to require social media platforms to offer an option to opt into algorithms, giving us autonomy to turn our algorithms on and off. And it goes on. That is such a simple thing we could do, and we do say that we're leading the world in terms of social media policing or monitoring in the fact that we have introduced age restrictions for social media, but we've got a long way to go.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

We do. But if we don't do it, the consequences are far greater. Yeah. Because the challenges that men face today are not going to get better, they're going to get worse.

SPEAKER_03 20:48

The really disturbing thing is that it's not just these lost kids that are looking for these forums, right? They're not going looking for them, they're getting it shoved down their throat. My husband the other day was watching a YouTube video on ad optimization. And he said two videos from that video was Manosphere content. And he's like, I've never had any interest. Like, why are you showing me this? Like, that's how quick it goes from innocent educational content to this misogynistic rhetoric. It's insane. It's so dangerous.

SPEAKER_00 21:22

Really is. And she's remarkable, um, Chanel Gontos. She was sexually assaulted at a very young age. From boys in a private school. And she put the call out on social media to anyone asking if they had experienced sexual assault from a boy in a private school in Sydney. She got thousands of people provide testimony. So she's she's standing up and saying something needs to change, and she's willing to do something about it. I don't even know if she's received a response back, has she, from the government, Scotty. Do you know?

SPEAKER_03 21:50

So it only recently started, like I said, they're trying to gather 8,000 signatures. 8,000's not a lot, guys. We can do this. Hopefully, by the time this episode airs, it's Already that, but just keep piling them on because it's such a good cause. And quite frankly, I would love to be able to turn my algorithm off too. I'm sick of them shoving stuff I have zero interest in down my throat. Yeah. Anything else on the manosphere?

SPEAKER_00 22:16

Other than it's depressing. These people are like cheating other people out of money. It'd be awesome to try and find all the poor people that lost money signing up to those stupid weird investment sites. It would be great to like put a spotlight on those people to out all of these guys as the scam artists that they really are. Because that's that's what's happening. We're all focusing so much on the shit they're saying and being so angry about the shit that they're saying, which is fair, but no one is really talking about the fact that these guys are like scamming people out of money and making profits off poor people.

SPEAKER_03 22:48

I mean, Louis Throw did do that at the end. He invested 500 pounds in the company that Harrison sprooked, and by the end of the episode, he'd lost 400 of that. So he was like, not great returns, didn't get me rich overnight.

SPEAKER_02 23:05

Funny that. Maybe if you're gonna follow financial advice, follow somebody who's had an education in that area.

SPEAKER_03 23:12

Yeah. My fear would be like, is it just some kind of pyramid scheme? Are they even investing this money? Probably not. I just don't even trust them. It would be interesting to hear anyone who has made money out of that, let us know. Get in touch.

SPEAKER_00 23:26

Yeah. I think Louie did say that that most of these like investment companies have really terrible reviews and really bad ratings and stuff like that. So Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 23:35

But they're selling a cheat coat to life with, you know, hot women. Actually, I laugh out loud about three times during this. One is when Harrison said to his mum, Mummy, I don't want juice.

unknown 23:47

And I was like, what?

SPEAKER_03 23:50

What? And she was like, Don't be rude to me. And he shit his pants. It was hilarious. One was when they talked about the fact that women's body count matters because every time a man ejaculates into a woman, she absorbs his sperm into her DNA. Which is why sometimes your baby with a woman can look like her ex-boyfriend. And I was like, somebody needs to tell that guy that if the baby looks like her ex-boyfriend, it's probably because she cheated on you. It's probably because it needs to be.

SPEAKER_00 24:21

Oh my god. I have never seen anything so stupid in my life. Plus, the video that he used to show proof looked like it was an AI-generated video. The guy was like a robot. His head didn't move.

SPEAKER_03 24:32

I am a neuroscientist. I can't remember what kind of scientist he was, but he claimed to be some sort of scientist. It was a neuroscientist. It was. And Louis just went, sorry, no, that's incorrect. You can't tell me. Don't be telling people that. My third favorite time that I laughed out loud was when I think it was Harrison, asked one of the girls that he'd clearly just paid to like laze around in a bikini while he had his interview. What do you like most about me? And she just said, Your money. I was like, yeah, dude. And it's not because women love men with money. It's because you have no other redeeming qualities. You got nothing else to offer. She's like, I'm here because you paid me. I can't stand you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:16

She she's like, I wouldn't be here if you weren't paying me.

SPEAKER_03 25:21

Yep. I had never heard of them, any of them, if I'm honest, and I never care to hear of any of them. Again, the only ones that he referenced that I had heard of was the Tates, obviously, because they're notorious criminals, sex traffickers. So familiar with them. The other stat that really surprised me from that King's College research was that when it comes to giving women equal rights with men, 56% of Australian men agreed that things have gone far enough. 37% of women. I kinda understand because it's talked about so much, right? And men see all these things and you know, companies throwing International Women's Day morning teas and talking about change and women's rights and yada yada yada. But a lot of it's all talk.

SPEAKER_00 26:09

Yeah, no action.

SPEAKER_03 26:10

We're making some progress, but there's still a lot to be done.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

Well, are we making enough when 31% of Gen Z med believe that women should obey their husband? No, because the new generation are like worse than the boomers. Way worse.

SPEAKER_02 26:25

I think we need to focus more on men's education.

SPEAKER_03 26:29

Yes. I totally agree. And the country that actually had the biggest discrepancy, because I think it's interesting to look at the stats in general, right? Like Thailand, for example, 81% of people strongly agreed with that statement. More women than men agreed with that statement. So when you've got a culture that is kind of on par, everyone's kind of at a similar place. Where it gets really interesting is where there's that delta. And the delta is pretty big in Australia. 19% discrepancy between what men versus women think. South Korea is the biggest. So 65% of men are like, it's gone far enough. And 42% of women think that it's gone far enough. So big discrepancy, which is really interesting because in South Korea there's a feminist movement called the 4B movement, where women are opting out of dating, marriage, sex, and having kids because they are so furious about the level of gender inequality. Unsurprisingly, one of the biggest gender pay gaps in the world in South Korea and one of the lowest birth rates. Fancy that.

SPEAKER_02 27:37

I'm still surprised though that it's what did you say? 41% of women say it's gone far enough as well.

SPEAKER_03 27:44

In Korea?

SPEAKER_02 27:45

42% of women think it's gone far enough. That's a big percentage of women that are kind of like, eh, I'm done.

SPEAKER_03 27:52

Yeah, probably need to dig into the age breakdown on that too, but it might be interesting because as we know, just because you're younger doesn't necessarily mean you have more progressive views.

SPEAKER_00 28:01

No.

SPEAKER_03 28:01

No, like I find that interesting.

SPEAKER_00 28:03

That's real sad, guys. I was sad when I saw that article. I also have to say, I love the fact that our Julia Gillard was appointed the chair of the Global Institute for Women's Leadership at King's College. Couldn't have picked anyone more perfect for it, to be honest.

SPEAKER_02 28:16

Awesome appointment after what her experience was, right? And what she's been through.

SPEAKER_03 28:21

I will not be lectured on misogyny by this man. What a line. Yeah, very fitting appointment. Go, Julia. Would love to hear a lot more from her. Too bad she didn't last long as Prime Minister because clearly she was too intelligent.

SPEAKER_00 28:41

Too good. She was probably one of the best. Can we bring her back? I'd like to. I don't know if she'd want the job again, Robs.

SPEAKER_03 28:47

I should be like, I'm done with that, thanks. People were too busy criticizing her outfits to worry about her policy. And her haircuts. And her tone. Depressing. So let's talk about why we started Big Yoni Energy in the first place.

SPEAKER_00 29:00

When I think about why we started it, it was because there was a lot of noise about what women should be doing with their bodies in relationships, in their careers, how they choose to heal. And when you think about it, like the wellness industry was selling perfection, dating culture sells games, social media sells, curated lives. And I think when I started it with you guys, I wanted a place where women could talk about the messy reality without pretending like we have it all figured out. Because I think women deserve to have these conversations that were real. And I remember having a conversation with the both of you when I said, Oh, I don't want to be a feminist. Do you remember? I said that to you.

SPEAKER_03 29:37

Yeah, I think you had to hold me back.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

And I was like, oh, I don't want to, because word feminist gets such a bad rap. And now I can tell you, after 20 episodes of Big Yony Energy, I am proud to be a feminist.

SPEAKER_03 29:52

I'm gonna make you a t-shirt. Big yoni, feminist, feminist feminist. Yeah, it's interesting about feminists becoming a dirty word. The truth of what a feminist is has been completely distorted. Yeah. And that is part of the backlash campaign against feminism. Yeah. Because if feminists are portrayed as hysterical, shrill, quite often homosexual women, then a lot of other women who don't want to identify as that go, oh, not a feminist. That's not me. That's not describing me. And we gotta realize that's been a campaign by the people who want to silence us because we're stronger together. So if you divide us and you get a bunch of people who women who cringe at the word feminist, then your job's half done because we're not coming together as one to fight against these issues.

SPEAKER_00 30:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:47

100%. Only 37% of people said that they strongly or somewhat agreed with the statement that they were a feminist.

SPEAKER_00 30:55

What?

SPEAKER_03 30:56

That was from that King's College study. Down from 40% in 2022.

SPEAKER_00 31:00

Yeah, because you feel like you s it's a dirty word. Like you want to whisper it. Yeah, I'm a feminist.

SPEAKER_03 31:05

I'm sorry getting you a t-shirt.

SPEAKER_00 31:10

It's gonna have the brightest pink glittering on it. Glitter. With a big, big vagina symbol on it.

SPEAKER_03 31:19

Maybe not. Maybe not that.

SPEAKER_00 31:20

You know, but logo, yes.

unknown 31:26

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 31:29

Um but I think the good thing about us having these conversations is that that's exactly what we wanted to do, right? Is have real conversations. And I think all three of us probably even have different views of how we show up as feminists, right? And we have different views on things and different ideas. But laughing about it, yeah, having a laugh about it kind of makes it a bit more accessible as a topic. And even though we're not laughing at the situation, we're able to discuss things.

SPEAKER_00 31:59

I think we're laughing at the absurdity of the situation, Robs. Right?

SPEAKER_02 32:03

Sometimes it makes it easier to talk about sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 32:07

Yeah, I think so. What about you, Scotty? It's interesting because originally I wanted to do a wellness podcast, and then I think we all kind of got together and we were like we every week encounter something insane that we experience in this world because we are a woman. And so many of those conversations lived in our group chat. And I was like, it's time to get those conversations out of the group chat and into the public eye. Because even though the conversations aren't perfect, I do find that when I listen to people who are the voices of feminism, they're all incredibly intelligent, amazing women, quite often that specialize in um women's rights or policies, law, etc. But it can feel a little bit inaccessible.

SPEAKER_01 32:54

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:56

To Rob's point. There's not one kind of feminist. And I think that's been part of the big problem with the branding of feminism over the years is that a feminist was someone who didn't wear makeup, someone who was a vegan, someone who burned bras. Burned bras. Yeah. Yeah. That's nothing to do with feminism. A feminist is anyone who believes in equal rights for men and women.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

So Which is literally what you said to me when I was like, I don't think I'm a feminist. You're like, do you care about equal rights for women? I'm like, yeah. And you're like, then you are one.

SPEAKER_03 33:32

Exactly. Exactly. I just wanted somewhere we could have honest conversations. And I thought these are conversations that deserve to be had out of our group chat. Because sometimes I feel like being a woman in this world is literally like playing a game of chess while the rules keep changing, while I'm being chased through the woods by a bear, and some dude is telling me to smile. It's just insanity. And I just wanted to have a space where I could share that and have other women be like, yeah, same. I feel that too. Same. I feel that too. I love that. So what if we think we've learned through these conversations of where do we think we have more to learn?

SPEAKER_00 34:14

I learned that much of women's lives are shaped by invisible rules. Rules about how we're supposed to look, how we age, how we succeed. And how we've unpacked those rules out loud, like we did in the last season, made me realize that they're all completely fucking made up. And I think that the conversations that we've had with each other have been really powerful because it drove me to question the expectations and define things on my own terms. I mean, I still say sorry a lot, guys, but I'd like to think that I say it less than when I did before we did that episode.

SPEAKER_03 34:44

You're aware of it. You're patching yourself where you didn't even question it before.

SPEAKER_00 34:49

No. And I think when it comes to blind spots, I'm always learning in real time. So part of the process, I think, is being willing to change our minds, bring in new voices, and challenge our own assumptions. And that's I think where where I want to head and learn more about just that things keep changing and I need to keep learning.

SPEAKER_02 35:07

Well said I think what I've learned is how exhausting it is to be a woman. And how many, like to your point, drums just how many expectations are put on women in society on a day-to-day basis and the judgment and the perfection culture and everything that we've grown up with, right? That's just again, who made those rules? Who did make those rules? Some dude.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

Yeah, some dude made them.

SPEAKER_02 35:40

Um and so yeah, it's it's just been nice to unpack it all and talk about it. And it it does give a bit more energy to go, okay, well, you know, bit by bit we can fix it or we can talk about it or we can become aware of things that we're doing and and how we can move forward and not take on so much of that, I guess, because naturally we just do, I think, as empaths and carers, that's what women do. But yeah, I think what blind spots, Romza, I agree with you. It's just the world's constantly shifting and changing, and yeah, I think the social media aspect is really damaging. I don't know what we can do about that, but being better educated in that space and understanding all of these algorithms and start it. We can sign the petition. That's an easy one. We can maybe get a little bit more political.

unknown 36:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:36

We can start emailing our local members about things and being a bit more active, I guess. There are things and topics that if you start speaking to your local members and people in government, that if you start making them a an issue, that they may get some sort of, you know, visibility at least, which is something else that we can do. 100%.

SPEAKER_03 36:58

It starts with one person, right? A movement starts with one person. Like I think of all the work that Chanel has done and achieved, and it started as just her, right? So I think we need to just be mindful that our voice does matter and we need to speak our minds. And yeah, we're more powerful together, but it's got to start somewhere, right?

SPEAKER_00 37:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:16

I realised I'm really angry. I I realize I thought I knew quite a lot about feminism and the patriarchy. And the more we dug into this topic, I have realized how little I know. And I have been pretty shocked as we've unpacked some of the patriarchal social conditioning, particularly around how women treat other women as well, and you know, the scarcity complex and how we compete with each other. I was listening to a podcast this morning by Mindy Pelts. It's called The Resetter Podcast. She traditionally focuses on health and wellness. She's written a couple of books like Fast Like a Girl and Age Like a Girl. I wouldn't say I agree with everything that she says, but you don't need to. Like I respect her opinion, right? We can do that, everyone. We can respect opinions of other people and not necessarily agree with every single word that comes out of their mouths. That's okay.

SPEAKER_01 38:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 38:15

But she's incredibly intelligent. And she was talking about the fact that she'd written a book and a lot of people had reached out to her when they'd written a book and said, Oh, you know, can you mention my book or can you post it on your Instagram? And she'd said, Yeah, sure. And then she's like, Oh, all the people that I thought would have my back when I did something, when I put something out into the world, they didn't. They couldn't even post it on a story. And she was like, oh, that's strange. And it led to a conversation with her guest who was the ex-chief content officer of Goop. We'll keep our thoughts on Goop to the side. Anyway, she left. I think she had a bit of a disagreement on Goop strategy and she left. But it was a conversation with her, and she was saying, you know, it's funny because this wellness bro culture of Huberman and all those folks that circulate, even if you're looking at people like Diary of a CEO and you're looking at Chris Williamson, they all and I love the way she put this, stand around in a circle jerk. And they promote each other and they have each other on each other's podcasts because they don't see it as competition. They see it as growing their audience, leveraging somebody else's audience to increase theirs. Whereas with women, because we see like there's only a couple of seats at the table for a woman, we're a bit more protective of our power. I know how I've been treated by men. I've dealt with it my entire life. I'm quite well aware of the injustices there. But what has really surprised me is having to unpack the way that I've treated women in the past.

SPEAKER_00 39:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:54

And it's it's kind of made me feel pretty ashamed, if I'm honest. I'm not saying it's my fault because it's conditioning, but I love the fact that I'm now more aware of it. I would like to think that I do support women, but obviously I can do more. I can do way more. Yeah, I support women too, but I'm just saying it's those occasions when you catch yourself. And in this reset of podcasts, they were talking about the fact that quite often envy turns into hatred. Yeah. Or discounting another woman. And it's interesting because men sometimes look at men and are envious, but they aspire to be like them. Whereas we might put the woman down for whatever reason. I can do that better. Or she's not even that good. How did she get that position? What has she written a book on? What does she know? Why did those three start a podcast? They didn't know anything.

SPEAKER_00 40:50

We never said we knew everything.

SPEAKER_03 40:52

These nobodies. We had something to say and three microphones, okay? So deal with it. You can't stop us. The other thing that I think has been really cool is the amount of men who have listened to us. We set out to create a podcast and a safe space for women to have honest conversations. But the amount of men who have listened and who have had some really amazing feedback has been pretty cool.

SPEAKER_00 41:22

Yeah. Yeah. Uh one guy said to me, Wow, us men are jerks to you, aren't we? And I'm like, Yep.

SPEAKER_01 41:31

No. Not all of you.

SPEAKER_02 41:33

Not all of you. Not all of you. No, yeah. Big shout out to our male listeners. That's they've been very supportive.

SPEAKER_00 41:39

So You know, you always talk about education for men, Robs. You talked about it earlier. I think that's the problem. There's a lot of guys who just would never know the shit that we experience on a daily basis.

SPEAKER_02 41:49

Yeah, if it doesn't affect you, you're generally not aware of it. And that can be true of so many things, so many different things in life that, you know, if you've never really been really sick or had some sort of a disability, you don't know what it's like for people who have until you experience it or have someone very close to you experience it or explain it to you. You're not aware. So it's not necessarily everyone's fault that we're in this situation.

SPEAKER_03 42:15

No. No, not at all. And quite frankly, when I talk about big yoni energy, I don't just want women to have bigoni energy. I want men to have it too. You remember, like, what was it, five or six years ago? It's probably like ten years ago. I've lost all sense of time now. I'm old. Uh it was a long time ago when big dick energy became a big phrase, right? And people were like, oh, he's got such big dick energy. And then women started coining that phrase, or women started wearing t-shirts with big dick energy on it. I want to get to a point where men are wearing t-shirts with big yoni energy on it. Big Yoni energy is super fucking cool, okay? It's so cool. Intuitive, collaborative, it's confidence, not cockiness, it's being empathetic. It's so strange to me, and I know that this is just the way it is because it's it's historical, but it's so strange to me that those traits are referred to as feminine traits. They are vital human skills.

SPEAKER_00 43:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:16

Yeah. I always laugh about it because I'm like, empathy allows people to understand and care about people's experiences, right? Intuition helps us read situations. Emotional intelligence enables us to navigate conflict relationships and lead effectively. But like for a long time, many cultures coded that as like ultimate feminine traits and then undervalue them, especially in like areas like business and politics and stuff, right? But the reality is that everybody benefits. When men cultivate empathy and emotional awareness, they become better partners, leaders, and friends. Like, think about it. How much more would we benefit from it right now if everybody just had more of those traits? It would be win win.

SPEAKER_03 43:55

Who would want that? You know?

unknown 43:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:00

Crazy when you think about it. And it's so interesting that feminine energy is quite often positioned as like the softer skills, the soft traits, right? But if you look back at history and mythology across a various range of cultures, there are some pretty kick-ass women. So if you think about someone like Athena, who's the Greek goddess of strategy, warfare, and justice, her thing wasn't about winning through brute force. It was more about strategy and planning and outsmarting opponents.

SPEAKER_00 44:33

In Hindu mythology, there's a goddess named Kali. And she's often represented as this fierce, transformative energy. And she looks crazy because she's got wild hair, and everyone says she's evil. Um but let's think feminist. She was said to appear when evil, arrogance, and injustice would grow so strong that it would threaten the balance of the world. Um, and she would force that balance to be restored. Her qualities would embody things like rage and destruction and uncompromising power, which would often be described as masculine today, right? Yeah. And I think she reminds us that feminine never has to only be about gentleness or creation, it can be about the force that protects life. And I love Kali. I did classical Indian dancing for a long time. And a lot of the dances that we did would also involve her. So she's like very cool to me. But when I was on travels in Egypt, I was looking for a papyrus painting and I was talking to the Egyptologist tour guide and I saw this beautiful picture, and it was a goddess. And I said, Who is that? And he said, It's Sekmet. And Sekhmet is this powerful lioness-headed god from Egyptian mythology who represents fierce protection and justice. And according to the myth, when humanity became violent and corrupt, she was sent to punish those who lost their moral compass. I think we could use her right now too, if you think about it. I think we could. Yeah. And she is said to embody the force that enforces boundaries as well and restores order when things go too far. Three incredible goddesses. And, you know, what does that tell you? That maybe the world needs a little bit more masculine energy from women right now.

SPEAKER_03 46:11

Yeah, I think it's interesting because if you think about masculine energy, you quite often think about aggression and dominance. If you're looking at these goddesses as an example, they're only embodying that as a last result. They're like, the world's fucked. We gotta do something about it. To be quite honest, I do think the time for being polite when it comes to feminism and women's rights is over. We've gone as far as we can. And now we do need to maybe embody the energy of all three, the strategy of Athena, the rage of Kali, and the boundaries of Sekmet. Maybe that's bigoni energy. Yeah. I love that. So if the world feels dominated by aggression and ego, what might more big boni energy look like in practice? More women in leadership positions.

SPEAKER_02 47:00

Yeah. Yeah. Collaborative leadership over dominance and control. Policies and systems that support modern life. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:08

Yeah, completely agree. I do feel like the concepts of power and corruption have become so intertwined lately that it feels like a package deal. Like the Epstein files with all these super powerful men being exposed for their role in some of the most horrific things involving children. It just felt like we couldn't trust people in power anymore. But I feel like we're starting to accept that and that's pretty terrifying. Because we're seeing all these leaders get away with crazy stuff. Crazy stuff. Well, no one's just going, okay, you're doing that? Yep.

unknown 47:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 47:51

It would be nice if a lot of other people that preyed on young women and assaulted young women from the Epstein bars. Yeah, children. It'd be great if some of those guys were in jail. But like literally no one is in jail from it. Except Ghilaine Maxwell. A woman.

SPEAKER_03 48:07

It's quite ironic that the one person in jail over this is a woman.

SPEAKER_02 48:12

Yeah. I'm hoping that that's just gonna take a bit more time. I hope so. And that I'm I'm hoping that there are people that are on this that's just not visible to the general public.

SPEAKER_03 48:26

Yeah. Yeah. I do think that we have to make sure we don't become scared of power though. I think to me, what more big yoni energy would look like would be more people in power exhibiting the qualities that I think people most closely relate to feminine traits, like empathy. Because there ain't a lot of that going on right now. And I think, gosh, that would make such a better world, wouldn't it?

SPEAKER_01 48:50

Yeah. It would.

SPEAKER_02 48:51

And just community over individual egos, right? There are some cultures in this world that are very much about the collective community rather than the individual learning more from them and behaving more like that as a society as well.

SPEAKER_03 49:05

That's how people survived. Back in the day, before technology, before we had groceries delivered to our houses, it was tribe culture. Everyone had a role to play and they played it. It wasn't all this capitalistic way of life of what I want, the more I can get, more power, more money, more control over others. Shouldn't be like that. Bit of a heavy topic to end on, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_02 49:33

Yeah. But that's okay.

SPEAKER_03 49:36

Well, that brings us to the end of this episode and the end of season one. When we started this podcast, we weren't entirely sure where these conversations would take us. But the more we've talked, the more we've realized that progress doesn't just happen on its own. It happens when people are willing to speak up, challenge outdated ideas, and support each other while doing it. So if there's one thing you take away from this season, it's that your voice and your willingness to question the bullshit actually matters. And that, to us, is what Big Uni Energy is really about. Thanks so much for being part of the conversation with us this season. We're gonna take a short break before we kick off season two. While we're away, if there's a topic you'd like us to impact next season, let us know. We'd love to hear your ideas. DM us on our socials or email us at buytribe, that's b yetribe at gmail.com. In the meantime, if you enjoyed the podcast, please follow our show, leave us a review or share it with a friend. And remember, keep channeling that big uni energy.