Hey Hana Q&A: Harsh Friend Advice, Urgent Work Culture & Postpartum Obsessions

Today’s episode is a little life lately/Q&A catch-up while Andie naps 🤍 I’m answering questions you guys wrote in and we’re talking everything from what I eat in a day while breastfeeding, postpartum hunger, harsh friendship advice, relationship dynamics after having a baby, toxic work culture, and the baby products I’ve become obsessed with lately. Just a chatty episode covering all the fun things!! 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hello everyone. Welcome into Hey Hannah. Krause. I hope everyone is having a glorious week so far. The weather here in the Midwest has really turned into the most beautiful weather I've experienced in quite some time. It's that type of weather where it's like you just need one light layer wherever you go. And when you're in the sun, you feel like you're getting a little bit of a tan. And when you're not, it's like, oh, it's a little chilly. Let me grab a sweater. Truly the perfect weather. I've been trying to soak up as much of the outdoors as I possibly can right now, while also, you know, having a newborn who is very particular about where she sleeps and how she sleeps. So we're doing our best. She's currently napping right now, so I wanted to do a QA episode. I feel like we haven't done one of these in a while where you guys can write in some questions. And we got some good ones today. Looking at some of the questions, I feel like we're automatically gonna catch up going over these questions anyway. So simply no need today. I'm gonna jump right in. Also, I want to quickly say thank you to anyone who wrote in some questions. It's so fun to hear what you guys want to talk about and just hearing what's going on in everyone's lives. Anyone who sent a DM or responded to the Instagram QA, thank you so much. Hopefully I get to it today. Okay, I got this one a few times asking if I'll share what I eat in a day. I've never shared what I eat fully in a day. But here we go. I mean, this is probably so boring, truly, for some of you who don't care at all, but here we go. In breastfeeding days, I am definitely hungrier, but I'm trying my hardest not to eat junk food when I'm hungry, because you know, sometimes you're on your seventh feeding of the day and you just want to grab a bag of chips because you're like, oh my God, it's like that seafood and eat it thing. That's how I feel. Like I'm like, oh, I see something and I just need to eat it right now. That's how breastfeeding has been for me. So if I'm being pretty strict with myself, which honestly I'm really not that strict in breastfeeding days, but if I'm trying to have a good day and I'm mentally like, okay, Hannah, no major pointless snacking today. I'm eating overnight oats every morning. Oatmeal is really good for lactation. I also have eaten overnight oats in so many seasons of my life. It's just the easiest thing to like prepare the night before. And then it's one less thing I have to do with one hand in the morning when I'm trying to organize things with baby girl. I won't get into the weeds of this, but my overnight oats, I do put in a scoop of protein powder. Oh, oh my gosh. By the way, I have a code for you guys. If anyone wants to try Parallel, they sent me a code for anything that they offer. Like I mentioned before, they're a super cool company. They're OBGYN founded. They have a ton of vitamins. You can look into their vitamins if you're trying to conceive, if you're in your first trimester, second trimester, third, postpartum, motherhood, if you're in premenopause, if you're doing egg freezing and IVF, they have all the vitamins you need in any stage of life you're in when it comes to motherhood. And then they also have a really good protein. I told you guys this. I have to stop eating dairy because Andy's belly is sensitive to dairy. So I've knocked it out of my diet. And I was so grateful when I came across their protein because A, it has creatine in it, which I really love, adding a little bit of creatine to my diet right now. And B, um, their protein is completely vegan. So it just came in clutch right when I needed it. So I have a code, it's Hey Hanna 15 for 15% off. If you guys want to try it out, I'm actually gonna make an order myself because I need more protein powder. But yes, Hey Hannah 15 for 15% off, and that's parallel P-E-R-E-L-E-L. Anyways, I put a scoop of that protein powder in my oatmeal and I again I prepare this the night before, just throw it in the fridge. It's super easy. I don't even use almond milk, I just use water. I do a third cup of oatmeal, and then I do just like a little tablespoon of peanut butter. So I have my carbs, my fats, my proteins, bada bing, bada boom, done. And I eat that in probably four seconds every morning. And then because I love breakfast so much, for lunch, I typically will have eggs and toast. Again, I feel like the vitamins and eggs are also really great for you while you're breastfeeding. I do two eggs and a crap ton of egg whites if I can, and then one or two pieces of toast, depending on how hungry I am. And then for dinner, I normally will do really anything that Peter is eating as well. Peter is really big on rice or sweet potatoes with chicken or beef. So we're normally eating some concoction, some sort of bowl that's a rice base or a sweet potato base with like a heavy protein, like a uh chicken or beef. And then in between all of that, like sometimes I'm so hungry that I'm just like cooking chicken tenders in the middle of the day because I, you know, the eggs and toast didn't do it for me and I need more. But yeah, I hope that answered your question. I know what I eat in a day is can be a little nutty because we're all comparing ourselves to what the other person is eating. And I certainly struggled with what to eat for a really long time. Like even before I met Peter, I struggled with how much food to eat and do I do intermittent fasting and da-da-da-da-da. Like I've I've come a long way in terms of just eating for my body and listening to my body and seeing how I feel. And I'm like, when I'm hungry right now, I just eat. I don't really care. I'm really over the game of like trying to eat less in order to be super fit. I just don't think that that works long term. I don't think it's good for my mental health. Like I did that in my 20s, and I'm really trying to get to a place where I'm eating way more and everything is protein focused, and I have carbs and fats and everything I eat as well. But yeah, okay, sorry, that was a super long answer. Next question. Hi, Hannah. Just curious as to what makes you feel seen, trying to foster deeper friendships. Okay, I'm assuming this person is referring to how to foster these deeper friendships and how that can make them feel seen and feel better in these deeper friendships. I always go back to this in my brain. I think the best friendships are the ones that make you feel like your childhood selves. If you can turn off a little bit, like turn off the all the noise and all of the, like, oh God, was that question weird? Or what do I ask next? Or is it too much if I ask them about this? Or is it weird if I tell them to come over to my house? Like whatever you're hesitant about in the friendship, just think of your childhood self and how you would react. Whoever can help you just turn off that noise is generally a good person to hang out with if you feel like you don't have to think about all of those things. Or even better, you can acknowledge that you're thinking about those things. I have some of those friends, even new friends, where I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm like overthinking this. Did I just say too much when I said this? And they're like, no, no, I'm the same way. And that sometimes is really comforting as well. But I think in friendships, what makes you feel really good, what makes you feel seen is finding someone who you feel like you can be your most authentic self with. And sometimes that takes time. Like acknowledge the fact that it could take a lot of time for you to feel like you've let your guard down with this person and that person feels the same way. But someone who brings out some version of the childhood self in you, I think is the main thing that I look for. Whether that's being really goofy, whether that's just talking the same. You know how you meet someone and you're like, oh, we talk the same. Like we talk quickly. I'm talking about Bravo, you're putting, you're picking up what I'm putting down, that sort of thing. You have the same hobbies, or even if you don't have the same hobbies, you just move and shake in similar fashions. That's something else to look for. But I think when it comes to actually fostering these deeper friendships, you really have to fully let your guard down and be the friend that you want to see. You know, it sounds cheesy, but it's true. Like if you want someone who you could just like hang out with, go to their house, watch a TV show, go for a walk, get a coffee, do that. Offer that. Ask someone if they want to go do that, you know? Like, hey, do you want to go meet up for a coffee and go for a walk this week? It's like such a normal girly thing to do. And everybody wants to do that. So nice out now. Nobody has an excuse. You can just text someone and be like, hey, you want to go for a walk? I'm actually meeting a friend for a walk later today. So I think that that's a really good way to sort of spend time with someone and figure out if you can be your authentic self with them. And again, sometimes it takes time. Maybe you'll go on, like, you know, four or five walks with someone and you're still overthinking things. That's totally normal. But I think repetition is key and looking for someone who makes you feel like the most authentic version of you in any capacity is also key. Plus, reaching out and just being that friend, initiating and not being afraid to be a little vulnerable and look a little silly because that's what creates really good friendships. Okay, another one. Top baby items you've used since Andy Girl arrived. I'm due in July. Oh my gosh, congratulations. That's so exciting. Okay, it's so funny. I was actually just thinking about this. If I could go back and look at my, what's it called? A registry. If I can go back and look at my registry, I would add so much stuff and I would take so much crap off of there. And I didn't even add a lot of stuff. Like a lot of people have a ton of these gadgets and gizmos. I swear, Peter and I made like a very minimal registry, and I still, there's some of it where I'm like, oh my God, I never use that. What was the point? So okay, top baby items. I have to really think about this. This is top of mind, and this is so bizarre, but there is this baby nose sucker device that I have used truly every day. It was not on my registry. I bought it on Amazon in like a desperation. Now there's two different forms of like nose suckers. And I'm so sorry for anyone who's not a mom, but this is serious. When it's like three in the morning and your baby has something stuck in their nose and you feel like they can't breathe that well, especially you're like two-week old, it's like, oh my God, oh my god, oh my god. It feels like they can't breathe. So I had bought this like seven dollar nose sucker on Amazon, the type that you put the tube in their nose, and then you literally suck through the tube. And there's a filter, nobody got grossed out. You never like, it's a long tube. There's no way it's making all the way to your mouth. You're just using that as a pressure, right? I did that, Andy hated it, truly hated it, screaming. I felt like an awful mom, but it worked for those moments in the middle of the night in the first few days that she was born, where I was like in a panic. But what I've bought since then is this thing called I think it's like Gronesy. Hold on. I have to look this up. I'm probably saying this wrong. Gronesy nasal aspirator. It's electric. It has all of these different suction modes, and you just like quickly stick it up their nose and it spins and sucks, and then it's out. It's incredible. I I use that with Andy every morning and every night, like clockwork, because it's spring in the Midwest, and I don't know what, I don't know why, but sometimes she just wakes up with like a stuffy nose. She's such small little nostrils that I always feel bad and I just want to clear them out for her. So I don't even know if I need to do this, but I I use it all the time. That's definitely one of them. Another baby item. Oh, is I really love the stroller we chose. It's really worked out. It was one of those that was like it's the car seat and the stroller. It all comes together. It's the infant car seat. It's called, let me look it up. It's called the Evanflow Shift. Who comes up with these names? Like, what the heck? I can't even say these words. Okay. Evanflow Shift. Shift is spelled S-H-Y-F-T. And then Intuity, like, what does that mean? Travel system featuring Revolve 180 Light Max NXT with sensory sooth. I cannot believe that that's a name, by the way. That is 12 words too. But it's an infant car seat and it's a bassinet on a stroller. Both are interchangeable. It's amazing. We've used both like crazy. And we really, really love this stroller. We always talk about how it was one of the best things we decided to get. With that being said, we'll have to buy another car seat when she's out of the infant stage, but we were up for just sort of simplifying things for now. Another thing I love is my diaper bag. My diaper bag is from Base. It's called the Ultimate Diaper Backpack. I got mine in black. I love it. My mother-in-law got it for us, and she actually embroidered our last name on like the little back of it. It's super cute. But I think that's a really great bag. We fit our entire world in that bag and then some. And then one more thing I use all the time is the I think it's called Comfy Cubs nursing cover. It's whatever nursing cover that has that C-shaped thing around the neck. So when I'm in public, when I go to the gym, when I do anything and I bring Andy with me, I have this cover with me. So if I need to breastfeed her, I can just throw this on over my head and it covers everything completely. But this like C shape that's around the neck of it enables me to look down and quickly see what she's doing and make sure she's latched. But I'm the only one who can see it. It's freaking brilliant. I know it's so silly, but it makes my life so much easier. Okay. Those are the baby products I swear by, and I really don't leave the house without them. Wait, the last thing I'll say, because I'm looking at it right now as I'm recording, the Fisher Price playmat, the one that everyone talks about. It took her a while to want something like this, but now during her wake windows, this is like a guaranteed wait that we spent 20 minutes as she's just laying on this mat, having the best time. And the songs, I know people joke, but the songs are not annoying. Like they're they got some bops. There's the, you know, you're going to the animal fair. I could sing the entire thing. I'm not going to do that. The purple monkey and the bubblegum tree, say no more. When that part comes on, I'm like, we've made it. We're, you know, we're almost at the end of this line. Um, but yeah, that that is actually a really great toy. That's probably the only toy that we have that we really use right now. Okay, moving on. Next question. How are you doing managing everything? Can you talk about your new job? One of my good friends wrote this in. So, hi, Garyl, thanks so much. Um, how am I doing managing everything? I I would say I'm like a steady BC student when it comes to managing everything right now. Luckily, Andy is getting more consistent with her naps, and I can sort of schedule when or how long I'm gonna have to do something while she's napping. God, I'm having a hard time answering this question. I'm like, how do I manage everything? I don't know. Do I even? I don't think so. My new work, I'm so excited about. Um, I'm actually I'm like not gonna talk about it yet until everything's signed because I'm a Looney Tune and that's just how I have to roll. I I've talked about how I come came from working on camera for like over 10 years. Living in New York, that was the main thing I did before I met Peter and moved to the Midwest and started working independently for myself in graphic design. But I have never wanted to fully let go of any on-camera work. And this opportunity is bringing me back into that a little bit. So I'm super excited to get started. We're still just getting that organized. But um, as soon as I start, I will start talking about it. But yeah, managing everything. I mean, some days I feel like I'm like, okay, it was a good day. And Peter's like, was it? Was it a good day? And I'm like, yes, I feel like I did what I needed to do today. I was able to get done some of the things I needed to do in the workspace. I, you know, was able to do some of the stuff I wanted to do at home, around the house, cleaning up. I was able to go to the gym. Like anything like that helps me feel like, ah, okay, I did it today. You know, I'm trying to give myself grace in terms of like managing everything. Like, there's a lot of days where I'm like, oh my God, I did not do that thing that I needed to do that was top of mind today. And it's like, you know what? Sometimes the boss calls. Andy will need two hours to get down for a nap. And then she only sleeps an hour and I don't have enough time to do anything that I thought was a priority earlier. So sometimes the things that I am like, oh, I have to do that. It just like does not get freaking done. And I always have to tell myself, it's okay. There's always tomorrow. I feel like that's just being a mom too. I'm always telling myself, there's always tomorrow. You can do it tomorrow. It's it's okay. It's not that big of a deal. Sorry, that was a bumpy answer, but all right, next question. What are you and Peter doing to prioritize your relationship with the newborn? Oh gosh. Um, this is a funny question. Prioritizing a relationship, I would say we are spending a lot of time together. I'm lucky and Peter's lucky in the sense that he works odd hours, you know, him owning his own business. He's able to sort of go in and out of that business all day. He doesn't have to be gone all day, every day. Although, because he doesn't work a typical nine to five, some days he's gone till like eight or nine o'clock, you know? That does happen and he is gone all day, but that's okay. He really makes up for it when sometimes he's just home in the middle of the day or he has a late morning and he just is taking calls from home in the morning. But prioritizing our relationship, I would say, yeah, spending time together. We try to go for walks together. It's getting more difficult with Andy's schedule. But like even going to the gym together and spending weekends together, we really don't make a lot of plans like without each other. And so I think that that's something that's really helped in this time. You just almost have to accept. It is not like a sexy romantic time in a relationship. When you have a newborn, it's just like, it's all about the boss, you know? I just keep saying that. I think even just laying in bed and watching a TV show and where we're able to just like sit next to each other, or when we eat dinner and we're able to just sit next to each other and like sort of hold hands in any way that we can, it feels like, okay, uh, deep breath. We made it here. I would say that that works for us and that is making us both feel like, okay, we're doing our best in this season. Prioritizing each other and right now with the newborn means like having each other's backs completely, even when things are a little nutty with Andy. Like, even when we're both losing our minds, like he knows when I'm upstairs, like trying to get her down for a nap for like over an hour and she's not going down, like he will come up and be like, What do you need? You go do this, let me take over. And vice versa. Like, if I feel if I hear him trying to get her down for a nap and it's not working, like just checking on each other and making sure the other person is not feeling completely isolated in whatever meltdown they're experiencing is something I think we both have been good at and I'm really grateful for. So, even that, even though it's not like, again, a romantic gesture of any kind, it's just like constant support of each other in those moments where we're both losing our minds a little bit. And then I also have to say that we abide by the strict rule that in the middle of the night, anything we say does not count. There's been a few nights where in the wee hours we can't get her to, we can't get her to go back to sleep, or she's being super fussy and she doesn't like any position she's being held in, and it's like two in the morning, and it's like, oh my God. Sometimes, like, you know, one of us will tell the other person what to do and it'll just like come off weird. Like it's like, try this position, or like uh, whatever. We enable the rule, don't even talk about what happened in the night the next morning. It does not matter. It is unfair to recall it because most of the time one of us is half asleep and the other one is begging to be half asleep again. So yeah, whatever we say in the night truly does not count. All right, and next question Are you watching any shows? What are the favorite shows you're currently watching? Oh gosh, I'm on the same game that I've been on for the past few weeks. I do have actually a new one, but it's so random. Okay, yes, I'm still watching Real Housewives of whatever. Beverly Hills just finished. I need to watch the last episode of the reunion. I've been trying to get through the first episode of Rhode Island. Why is it taking me so long? I keep getting them all confused. I know they all look alike and everybody's saying that. I was trying not to say that, but like, oh my God, I'm really having a hard time getting into it. But I want to. I want to. I'm gonna keep trying. I for the past how many weeks have I been talking about this? I haven't gotten through the first episode. Also, still watching Summer House because of course, can't wait for that reunion. Can't even get into that. Peter and I are occasionally watching Friends and Neighbors, Neighbors and Friends. I don't even know what it's called. It's on Apple TV Plus with John Hamm, Olivia Munn, Amanda Pete. I think I talked about it last week, but I really love that show. That's a great one to watch, like with your husband, with a spouse. It's just like an easy one to get into. We haven't watched that in a few weeks, but we really love that one. Oh, but the one that I started watching, this is so random. I needed something mindless to turn on right before bed. We're on a weird sleep pattern with Andy. Some nights she's going to bed at eight o'clock, some nights she's going to bed at 10 o'clock, and I can't quite figure it out. So I sometimes just need something to distract myself. So when I'm like walking around like bouncing, I'm not fully in my own thoughts. But I put on the show called Rock the Block. It's on HBO Max. I think it's like an HGTV show, but it's one of those home improvement shows. It's so odd. I found it because I have followed this girl, Chelsea, on Instagram for so long. She's from Southern Charm years ago, like Bravo's Southern Charm. And I always liked her. I thought she just said such cool style. She was level-headed. She was just like a cool girl. She actually was on Survivor too, but anyways, I saw her posting about how she was on this Rock the Block thing. And I think she has really cool interior design style. I always like her vibe. So she announced that she was on the new season of Rock the Block. And I was like, what the heck is that? I happened to see it. And then the fact that I even remembered it and sought to turn it on is a huge win. Because normally when I see something like that, I just totally forget about it later. But yeah, I put it on and Peter and I have actually been enjoying it. We, it's like the perfect thing to have on in the background and you're like half-watching. Because every episode they redo a different room of a house and they're all competing. Whatever. It's kind of silly. It's super light. We'll weirdly get into like which house we think is best and which room we think is best. And that one's been fun to have on. I think we've only watched two episodes, but I truly have put it on the past like two nights because, like I said, it's the perfect thing to have on when you're getting ready for bed and you're paying attention, but you're not totally focused. You're chatting through it, whatever. Another question best exercise is to build glutes with minimal equipment. Oh my God. I need to call Peter for this. I literally need to call Peter for that. And I can't right now because he's injury duty, which is such a shame. I don't know what the answer is with minimal equipment. If I were to guess what Peter would say, I would say it's something with bands. I don't know what any of the proper terms are. So bear with me. But if you could do a kickback, when you say minimal equipment, I don't know how minimal we're talking. If you have access to a gym, you could do one of the banded like you hook your ankle up to one of the bands and you could do those kickbacks there. Or if you don't have access to a gym and you just Have those like loose bands at home, you could do kickbacks at home as well. Angle yourself in the right way. And it's so hard for me to say it over a podcast. But if you angle yourself in the right way, um, you can really help support and lift your glutes. You know, you could use a wall to balance, or you can even go like hands and knees to like sort of maximize that tension. But you're just gonna sort of hinge forward, keep your back straight, and then like kick one of your legs back, squeezing your glutes when you get to the top of that's the best way I can explain it. I feel like that would be a really good way. I do that all the time at the gym with the equipment, like with a weight. But if you don't have a weight, using it with resistance at home is another really good way to do it. And like Peter always tells me, go slow. I go way too fast when I do stuff like this, but go slow and like really think about the muscle as you're working it. And again, if you need to balance, hold on to the wall or hold on to, you know, some sort of sturdy object in your house to help you out. And if you are at the gym, the glute bridge is truly my favorite exercise for glutes. I try to go like as heavy as possible with the glute bridge. But that's one, that's another one you can do at home with a band and just use resistance when you do a glute bridge. Really got to get some bands for my house because I need to do the same thing. I'm like, sometimes I just don't have time to go to the gym and I need to be able to just like do a quick workout here at the house while she's napping. Okay, next one. Uh, best relationship advice for me and my partner postpartum. Oh, okay. I feel like I answered this a little bit. I would just say do your best to support them in those super small moments when the baby's crying and you can sense that they're frustrated, step in to take over. I feel like that's common sense, but like just check in with each other. Like make sure they're good when there's a little bit of tension, because sometimes that tension is just because of the boss and not because of you at all. So even like just walking over and rubbing your partner's back or like just being like, You good? We're good. Stuff like that helps because sometimes we're all just like holding on to the stress that we had just from the emotional burnout of trying to ease a baby. I also think that the nighttime rule is great. Anything you say in the middle of the night doesn't count towards your relationship. Nobody was hurting anyone's feelings. Everybody was half asleep and sleep deprived and in a bit of a fight or flight moment, you know? Totally doesn't count. Okay, next one. I'm struggling so hard with work stress. This is so not like me. I usually have good boundaries, but my managers are not good at managing and make everything feel urgent, meaning, aka it's not a life or death situation. Help. Also, I don't work in healthcare, I work in a corporate type job. Ooh, this one's tough because I feel like at the end of the day, every job makes it seem like it's life or death when it's not. I remember when I worked in sports, when I worked on air in sports, people treat sports like it is truly the biggest deal in the whole world. And I'm like, what are you guys talking about? We're not curing cancer over here. Like the deadlines you'd have to work on. And all of it is for what? Because now everyone gets their updates sent straight to their phone, anyways. I don't need to jump on the air and tell everyone that Tom Brady just retired. That's evident. Everybody can go on their phone and see it for themselves. But yet I have to perfect this report in order to get it on the air and get it in perfect timing. Sometimes I'm just like, oh my God, we're not saving lives. It's okay. But I guess that's my point is that any job you get into, it's it's really rare to find a boss that really values work-life balance. Just know if you found a boss that really values work-life balance, you've pretty much hit the jackpot. It's really, really hard to find. And most bosses are just gonna treat your job like it is end-all be-all, because sometimes it is for them. It's their entire business and their entire livelihood is riding on it. Now I know that may not help and that may not be what you want to hear, but I guess your boundaries should really be like no working in off hours, period. If someone is contacting you and asking you to do something over the weekend or, you know, after 6 p.m., 5 p.m., whatever your work hours are, I would just be really strict about not even responding until I do think it's really frustrating when like people give you lip or attitude about clocking out or signing off or, you know, being unavailable during times when we're not supposed to be available. Like we're not supposed to be so freaking reachable all the time. That happened to me in one of my first corporate jobs. Like, I remember I had a boss who was like, every time I would leave the office at like 5:15, he would be like, Oh, leaving right at five, are we? And I'm like, Yeah, sorry. I don't want to be here anymore. I was here all day and I did my job. So now I'm going home. Obviously, I wouldn't say that, but that's how I would feel internally. The making everything feel urgent part, I think, is the most frustrating thing because sometimes you're like, I just want to do my work the way that I want to do it without this person like breathing down my neck. If they are micromanaging you and like watching your every move, oh, it's so frustrating. I had a boss like that in my very first big girl job. I can't say where, but it was with a huge corporation. And I've really struggled because I so badly wanted to do things at my own pace. And everything I did, he was like, Well, did you do this part? Okay, all right, next, do this part. And I'm like, Oh, I know, like, please. And it does affect your mental health. So this is tough. I feel like I need more context about exactly what type of urgency this is and what type of management this this is. I think realistically, the only advice I can give you is that it's gonna pass. So you just sort of have to ride the wave. It's it sucks, it's annoying, but this position you're in in this work will not stay this way forever. Something will move and shake, something will shift, but inevitably you won't be in this exact same position for long. So do what you can to feel a little bit less burnt out by this urgency or by this manager. You know, stay respectful, stay polite, stay super eager and willing to be there and willing to do all the things. But again, keep your boundaries. Don't work after hours, don't over-deliver all the time. Just do what you need to do to feel like you did a good job that day. And each day could look a little different. But just know that this sort of situation that you're in with work will not stay this way forever. But work stress is such a real thing. Also, like take time you need after work to really enjoy yourself and to feel a little bit more like yourself. Go to the gym, start a yoga class, watch your favorite TV show, order some freaking pad Thai. Like, do what you need to do to just really turn off when you need to. But yeah, unfortunately, my advice is not that great for this. I really think that it's so rare to find a job where you feel like your bosses really prioritize your mental health and your work-life balance and are thinking of you. I don't know how what your relationship is like with your managers, with your bosses, anything, but if you could ever really politely share with them that you're struggling with stress, I think that that's an okay thing to do as well. Just as long as you say it in a super respectful, I'm happy to be here, appreciative way. Okay. Next question. My best friend is dating someone who is just straight up not nice. He's mean to her, emotionally abusive, and quite frankly, a giant a-hole to her friends. But she won't leave him and is pushing myself and our other friends for him. She constantly calls us, telling us these terrible things he's done, and then two days later, getting back together with him. It's hard for any of us to try and be supportive of this relationship, but it's obvious that she's choosing him over her friendships. I want to be there for her, but also my own mental health from this situation is draining. I don't know how to be a good friend to her while also making sure I'm taking care of myself. Any advice is appreciated. Okay. Oh my gosh, who has not been in this situation before? This is such a real thing, and I'm so sorry you're going through this. First of all. Second of all, I have a strict mention it once rule. When you're when one of your best girlfriends is dating a guy you don't like at all, or you just don't think is good, especially if it's a really serious relationship, but you tell them once, one time that you do not like him, you think he's a loser, you think he's emotionally abusive, you don't hold back. You tell them one time exactly how you feel. And there's a large chance they will not listen to you in the moment. They won't really care about what you just said, but you did your responsibility as a good friend and you told them your honest opinion. And now the hard part is in order to be a good friend, you have to accept the fact that they're gonna do what they want and you have to support them. You didn't do it blindly because you said it once. But this happened to me with a friend where she was stuck in a relationship I just did not agree with. But at the end of the day, it's like you have to follow your friend. You trust your friend, you love your friend. They're your friend for a reason. Think about it in terms of anything small. If your friend wants to go dye her hair blue, what kind of friend would you be if you were always talking about how much you didn't like her hair color, right? That would be awful. So think of that in the terms of relationship. You sort of have to follow your friend's lead. You're their friend to be their support system. You can be honest, but you can only really do it once because then it gets to be unsupportive in a time where clearly they really need support. If she's sitting there and talking to you about how, about all these bad things he does, she knows. She freaking knows. She's going to come around. You sort of have no option but to just be her supportive friend. Now, when she's telling you this emotional crap that he's doing that's not great, you can also just be a normal human and respond like, oh yeah, that's not good. I don't love that. That's tough. Like, well, how do you deal with that? You know, like you can respond normally, but I don't know. It's so hard because then you also have to be careful not to be like, he sucks. Because I've been in situations where I'm telling my friend about a guy and then they're trashing the guy. And then in turn, I don't want to talk to that friend anymore about this guy because I don't want them to think that he's this terrible, awful dude when clearly they already don't like him. Like you could lose your friendship a little bit if you stay super honest about this. My point is that your friendship with her is more important than this guy. I know your own mental health is draining. And I think it'll be easier if you just sort of take a step back. I mean that in the sense of like when she says, yeah, he did this, and oh, I had this terrible night with him, but I can't wait to see him again tomorrow. And like this stuff that doesn't sit well with you. You just have to be like, okay, yeah, yeah, good. All right, well, what are you guys gonna do tomorrow? Like, don't get involved. Like, truly don't get involved. Don't ask questions unless she's asking you straight up, how should I handle this? What do I do? But yeah, I think those types of friendships, like when this happens in friendships, it really takes a toll on your relationship and it's hard. But I would just do your absolute best to be there for her and trust that she will get through this. And again, if you need to say it once, if you need to say, hey, look, I don't like this guy for you. I don't think it's the best idea that you keep dating him. And if you haven't fully done that yet, then go ahead and do it. And if she doesn't listen to you, which there's a huge chance she's not going to, then you still have to support her. And you know what? Maybe years from now, she'll be like, Yeah, I totally remember when you said I shouldn't have dated him. I wish I listened. But you're gonna be really grateful at the end of the day that your friendship maintained through this entire process. Okay, I have to wrap this up because Andy just woke up from her nap. But I love you guys. Thank you so much for writing in all of your questions. I so appreciate it. And I can't wait to chat again next week. Talk to you guys soon. Bye for now.